Chapter 2 Writing Inprovement Exercises
Chapter 2 Writing Inprovement Exercises
Audience Benefits and the “You” View: Using the guidelines and examples on page 45 in the text, revise the
following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “you” view. (Obj. 4)
1. Original Sentence:
We have prepared the enclosed form that may be used by victims to report identity theft to creditors.
Revision:
2. Original Sentence:
To help us process your order with our new database software, we need you to go to our website and fill out
the customer information required
Revision:
3. Original Sentence:
We are now offering RapidAssist, a software program we have developed to provide immediate technical
support through our website to your employees and customers.
Revision:
4. Original Sentence:
We find it necessary to restrict parking in the new company lot to those employee vehicles with “A”
permits.
Revision:
5. Original Sentence:
To avoid suffering the kinds of customer monetary losses experienced in the past, our credit union now
prohibits the cashing of double-endorsed checks presented by our customers.
Revision:
6. Original Sentence:
Our warranty goes into effect only when we have received the product’s registration card from the
purchaser.
Revision:
7. Original Sentence:
Unfortunately, you will not be able to use our computer and telephone systems on Thursday afternoon
because of upgrades to both systems.
Revision:
8. Original Sentence:
As part of our company effort to be friendly to the environment, we are asking all employees to reduce
paper consumption by communicating by e-mail and avoiding printing.
Revision:
Conversational but Professional: Using the guidelines and examples on pages 46-47 in the text, revise the
following sentences to make the tone conversational yet professional. (Obj. 4)
9. Original Sentence:
Per your recent e-mail, the undersigned takes pride in informing you that we are pleased to be able to
participate in the Toys for Tots drive.
Revision:
Bias-Free Language: Using the guidelines and examples on pages 50-51 in the text, revise the following
sentences to reduce gender, racial, ethnic, age, and disability bias. (Obj. 5)
21. Original Sentence:
Every employee must wear his photo identification on the job.
Revision:
22. Original Sentence:
The conference will offer special excursions for the wives of executives.
Revision:
Plain Language and Familiar Words: Using the guidelines and examples on page 51 in the text, revise the
following sentences to use plain language and familiar words. (Obj. 5)
27. Original Sentence:
The salary we are offering is commensurate with remuneration for other managers.
Revision:
Precise, Vigorous Words: Using the guidelines and examples on page 51 in the text, revise the following
sentences to use precise, vigorous words. From the choice in parenthesis, select the most precise, vigorous
words. (Obj. 5)
32. Original Sentence:
Government economists (say, hypothesize, predict) that employment will (stabilize, stay the same, even out)
next year.
Revision:
34. Although international trade can (get, offer, generate) new profits and (affect, lower) costs, it also introduces
a (different, higher, new) level of risk and complexity.
Revision:
35. The World Bank sees international trade as a (good, fine, vital) tool for (decreasing, changing, addressing)
poverty.
Revision: