CHURCHILL, RANDAL - Catharsis in Regression

Catharsis in
'Rearession '}{yynotfierayy
Transcripts of Transformation
Volume II
'Randa( Cfiurcfii((
CATHARSIS IN REGRESSION HYPNOTHERAPY: Transcripts of
Transformation is printed on acid free, natural recycled paper with
soy-based ink.
Copyright© 2008 by Randal Churchill
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval
system, with the exception of brief excerpts in reviews, without the
written permission of the publisher.
Some names have been changed in certain transcripts included

herein.
Cover design by Nadise Whiteside
Transforming Press
P.O. Box 9369
Santa Rosa, CA 95405 USA
email: [email protected]
www.transformingpress.com
ISBN 978-0-9656218-2-3
1. Psychology 2. Regression 3. Hypnotism - Therapeutic use
4. Recovered Memories
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 2008907272
FIRST EDITION. Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
To Cheryl
with deepest appreciation
for putting your heart and soul into every stage
in the development of this and all of my books.
No one in the world could take your place.
And to my clients
including those in my classes
for your trust and courage.
I am deeply honored to assist in your healing.
Contents
acknowledgments xiii
about the author xiv
preface to volume II xv
1. The Value of Catharsis in Regression 19

Selecting Appropriate Processes 19
Understanding Abreaction and Catharsis 20
Spontaneous Abreaction 21
Exploringing the Value of Emotional Release 22
Considerations to Keep in Mind 24
2. Encouraging vs Discouraging Emotions 27
Ideomotor Methods for Subconscious Guidance 27
Working with Emotions After Signals for
Detachment 28
Utilizing Openness to Emotions 29
3. Working with Abreaction 33
Preparation for Potential Catharsis 33
Encouraging Emotional Awareness and Expression 34
Bringing It All Together 36
4. Grounding and Centering for the Therapist 39
A Grounding and Centering Induction 39
Methods and Uses 42
Summary of Sample Grounding and Centering Steps 45
5. Daniel's Emotional Blocking
The Shock of the Sudden Divorce 47
Commentary 75
Daniel Writes 15 Years Later 76
6. Rose's Pervading Sadness
The Tragic Attempted Escape from Hungary 79
Rose's Journaling Notes 96
Interview Two and a Half Weeks After the Session 99
Rose Writes Four Years Later 104
7. John's Shame
The Felon Who Didn't Fit In 107
8. Curtis and Charlene
Explorations of Averting Catharsis 129
Curtis' Claustrophobia 129
Interview Eight Days After the Session 131
Charlene's Childhood Trauma 133
Interview One Week After the Second Session 137
9. Virginia's Desire for a Healthy Relationship
The Extremely Dysfunctional Family 141
Interview Three Weeks Later 170
10. Virginia's Panic Attacks
Smothered by Her Disturbed Brother 173
Interview One Year Later 189
Interview Three Years Later 191
From One of Virginia's Later Notes to Randal 193
11. Sean's Flashbacks of Possible Molestation
Uncovering and Cathartic Clearing 195
Interview One Week Later 214
Commentary 217
12. Issues of Potential Sexual Abuse 219
The Subtleties of Neutrality 219
Lessons from the Case of Holly Ramona 220
Recovering Memories with Minimum Inaccuracy 223
An Exception to the Neutrality Rule 224
13. Rita's Road Rage
The Explosive Driver 225
14. Jill's Writing Block

The Private Journal Read by Her Police Chief Father 253
15. Kane's Rebellion Revisited

Unfinished Issues of School and Mother 277
Interview the Next Day 296
16. Theresa's Abusive Relationships

The Unlovable Child 303
Commentary 316
Theresa Writes One Year Later 317
17. Regarding Past Life Regression 319

The Theory of Past Life Regression and the Value
of Metaphor 319
Exploring the Possibilities 321
Understanding Suggestibility Factors 323
18. Corinna's Self-Destruction

Past Life Regression: The Annihilation of a Village 325
Commentary 346
Corinna Writes Eight Years Later 354
19. Chris' Terror

Past Life Regression: The Concentration Camp 355
20. Chris' Guilt

Exposing the Abusive Father 375
Interview One Month Later 394
21. Chris' Struggles with Work
Follow-Up Past Life Regression: They'll Kill Me if I Stop 403
Chris Writes Five Years Later 421
Appendix
Abreaction and Catharsis: Foundations and Meanings 423
references 426
annotated bibliography 429
index 435
xiii
~cknowfeJaments
My gratitude goes to the many people whose support has led to
the publication of this book; what follows is not a complete list.
First, I deeply appreciate all of the excellent work done on
all phases of this book by my editor, Cheryl Canfield. From our
brainstorming and her initial transcriptions to her organizational
work, editing, book production, cover ideas, proof-reading and
fine-tuning of the final product, her beneficial influence is found
from cover to cover.
I am most grateful for the visionary initial trainings and
generous encouragement I received from Gil Boyne in the late
sixties. My regression methods have been greatly influenced by his
brilliant integration of Gestalt and other modalities within hypnotic
regression. I also appreciate his frequent support and insights since,
and the great leadership and priceless contributions he has given to
the profession of hypnotherapy.
I am thankful for my months of Gestalt training in residency
on Vancouver Island in 1972, at the College House affiliate of the
Gestalt Institute of Canada where Fritz Perls did his final work. I
deeply appreciate my experience of Gestalt training with Robert
Hall spanning more than a year in the mid seventies, and the
extraordinary range, depth and wisdom of his teachings and service
that continues to develop even further, including as a dharma
teacher.
I am grateful for all of my students and clients. In particular, I
thank the volunteers for therapy during class who, in baring their
souls, have contributed so much of value for themselves and their
classmates, including deepening the bonding process.
I wish to thank Pat Stone for her many skills and great dedication
to the Hypnotherapy Training Institute over the entire 30 year
span. My gratitude also goes to her, Jeanne Kent and Jan Shade
for their book production support and to Nadise Whiteside for her
excellent cover design. I thank Dennis Alsop and the many other
HTI graduates who have sent me articles, emails, web links and I or
video materials over the years regarding recovered memories. I am
also grateful and honored for each of the endorsements received for
this book.
And finally, I deeply appreciate Marleen Mulder's three decades
of inspired work as Co-Director of the Hypnotherapy Training
Institute. The quality of the HTI sessions, including those transcribed
in these two volumes, is partly a result of the tremendous dedication
of her exceptional teaching and highly supportive presence in class,
the substantial value of her many other responsibilities, and her
creative, heartfelt hypnotherapy demonstrations and sessions.
XIV
?t6out the ?luthor

Randal Churchill is Founder and Director of the Hypnotherapy
Training Institute, which became one of the first licensed
hypnotherapy schools in 1978 and is celebrating its 30th
Anniversary as this book is being published. Known as "Teacher
of the Teachers,"™ he has trained many of the state-approved
hypnotherapy instructors in the United States. HTI draws students
from many countries to the San Francisco area each semester. Its
alumni of thousands of graduates spanning three decades is the
largest of any licensed hypnotherapy school.
The first President of the American Council of Hypnotist
Examiners, Randal completed his most recent term last year. Known
for its high standards, this is the original and largest Hypnotherapy
Certification organization with over 10,000 members. A veteran of
over 35,000 hours of a hypnotherapy practice spanning 40 years, he
received his degree in Psychology with Honors from Sonoma State
University. He has been a featured teacher at many International
Hypnotherapy Conferences and has instructed at numerous
institutions in the US and overseas, including teaching psychiatrists
at Napa State Hospital.
Randal has received international acclaim for his creative and
comprehensive therapy and teaching skills. An intuitive, highly
supportive therapist, he is originator of Hypnotic Dreamwork™
and has been a pioneering leader for over 35 years of Gestalt
therapy, regression, and advanced ideomotor methods.
Randal Churchill's seminal text, Become the Dream: The Trans-
forming Power of Hypnotic Dreamwork, is the first book about the
integration of dreamwork and hypnotherapy. Experts have called
his Regression Hypnotherapy, Volume I of this series, the most
important book about regression ever published. Both books are
winners of the Founders Award for Excellence in Professional
Literature. He is author of numerous professional articles, ranging
from many American publications to the Australian Journal of
Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis.
A Lifetime Member of the Association for Humanistic Psych-
ology, Randal is a Charter Member of the International Gestalt
Therapy Association and on the Board of Advisors of the Gestalt
Institute of Austin. The subject of a television documentary
about his extraordinary work, he has been interviewed by
many media sources including the BBC, PBS, and the popular
Japanese educational television program, Banbutsu Soseiki.
xv
Preface to Vo(ume II
This volume completes the Regression Hypnotherapy set,
focusing on the cathartic expression of emotions that can occur
when working with regression. It is intended to follow and develop
the comprehensive guidance given in the first volume.
Both volumes are filled with significant information on
regression therapy which is not even touched on in most other
books on this important subject. It includes detailed teaching of
certain dynamic and priceless forms of the work, such as the
integration of Gestalt and various uses of ideomotor methods.
The use of regression is emphasized in ways that can frequently
yield profound therapy. This study is intended for the therapist
who is enrolled in or has received an extensive hypnotherapy
training.
As in Volume I, theory is combined with a generous series of
transcripts of actual sessions with commentary, giving the reader
a close-up view of a wide variety of issues and situations in which
the remarkable potential of this work is demonstrated. Unlike
regression therapy styles that avoid or discourage emotions,
working through emotional difficulties is recognized as an
opportunity for deeper, more comprehensive therapy, increasing
the possibility for profound transformation. The instruction in
this volume will provide essential guidance for dealing with the
especially intense expression of emotions that can often develop
when using certain modalities during regression. However,
difficult feelings and their expression are encouraged only if neutral
questioning yields instruction from the client's subconscious
mind to be receptive to both memories and emotions having to
do with the presenting issues and their underlying causes. When
permission is not forthcoming, we can still do good work using
techniques for detachment, as discussed in both volumes.
XVI
While the first volume includes many explorations of working

through strong emotions, this book explores issues and examples
of working through exceptionally strong expressions of emotion.
Volume I also focuses on the fundamentals of regression work and
discusses the valuable use of regression in conjunction with both
detachment and non-traumatic exploration for self-discovery and
insight.
Chapter 4 of this volume, Grounding and Centering for the
Therapist, is especially applicable to the intensity of working
with catharsis. The transcripts of Volume II deal exclusively with
sessions that include cathartic expression and clearing work, with
the exception of the final chapter. This is a relevant follow-up
session in which the affect bridge to a major trauma led only to
mild emotional clearing, a sign in this case of how far the client had
come in her transformative process. Also, balance is provided by
Chapter 2, Encouraging vs. Discouraging Emotions, and by Chapter
8, Explorations of Averting Catharsis, which illustrates in detail two
sessions in which regression to trauma leads away from highly
emotional expression.
Logic, balance and effective methods addressed the controversy
of recovered memories in the initial volume. That is further
developed in this volume via the careful non-leading methods
of encouraging and working with recall within the transcripts,
and specifically addressed in Chapter 12, Issues of Potential Sexual
Abuse.
While all of the transcripts of the first volume were of age
regression, that entire book was relevant to the subject of past
life regression, in which memories relating to the self arise but
appear as a lifetime in a previous time or place. While some forms
of inductions for each kind of regression can be different, the
therapeutic modalities that can be used for each form are essentially
the same. There is much important material in both volumes that is
not yet found in any book on past life regression.
Several later chapters of this volume will directly focus on
the subject of past life regression. This topic will be explored for
its intrinsic value, and not to prove or disprove the validity of
previous lifetimes. There are many avenues of thought regarding
such recollections and all references will be, and need to be,
approached with neutrality in doing therapeutic work. For the
xvii
purpose of therapy, the energy that. is affecting an individual as

a result of some early or unconscious or traumatic experience can
be communicated by the subconscious mind through imagery
and metaphor. This is demonstrated by Hypnotic Dreamwork™,
detailed in my book, Become the Dream. Profound work can be done
whether working with a recollected memory of an actual event
or an age or past life regression metaphor. Effective procedures
specific to such work will be discussed in Chapter 17, Regarding
Past Life Regression, and demonstrated in Chapter 18, Corinna's
Self-Destruction and Chapters 19 and 21, Chris' Terror and Chris'
Struggles with Work.
CHAPTER 1
The Value of Catharsis

in Regression
The appropriate use of comprehensive emotional clearing

work in regression by a skilled therapist often yields profoundly
valuable therapy, and catharsis can frequently be an integral part
of the process. The objective is not to just get in touch with the
feelings but to express, release and clear them. As discussed in
Regression Hypnotherapy, such a regression may involve about 15
major steps. The transcripts of the first volume include strong
emotional expressions and clearing, but do not reach the extremes
transcribed in this volume.
Recalling an important positive or negative memory in
hypnosis can bring a sharply detailed revivification, including
extensive associated feelings. Modalities such as the affect bridge
and Gestalt further encourage the experience and expression of
strong emotions. Under such circumstances, when it is appropriate
to guide the client to recall, emotionally experience and process
unresolved trauma, it is not unusual to reach the levels of intensity
shown in the transcripts of this book. The essential material
provided here will help therapists take full advantage of sessions
that may reach particularly cathartic proportions.
Selecting Appropriate Processes

The occurrence of catharsis during regression work is not
something to expect or to plan in advance of the session for the client
to "achieve" or experience. Rather, when catharsis spontaneously
20 CATHARSIS IN REGRESSION THERAPY
occurs during therapy, the subconscious is signalling a desire for

such release and processing. This is an opportunity that can be
a powerful part of a many-step process. As with other kinds of
hypnotherapy, we need to be open-minded and flexible as we begin
any hypnotic session with the intention of regression. Depending
on developments, we may encourage the experience of strong
emotions, but there are various directions in which the session
may move. Chapters 2 and 8 will emphasize how a regression may
develop and move toward or away from emotional expression.
Some licensed psychotherapists may be able to carefully use
hypnotic emotional clearing methods with some patients that have
major psychological disorders. But as a reminder, these processes
are designed to be used when applicable with sane, emotionally
stable clients. The intense regression strategies explored in these
books need to be approached with considerable sensitivity and
care by those who have received comprehensive training in
hypnotherapy.
For the purpose of training, it is recommended that
hypnotherapists and psychotherapists initially develop hypnotic
regression skills using detachment methods. Ideomotor skills, for
example, can be developed with a simpler focus at first, beginning
with sessions for finding lost objects and recalling positive
memories before moving on to detached exploratory discovery
regarding challenging issues. Those without previous experience
doing Gestalt therapy can initially develop those skills separately
by exploring Gestalt dreamwork, Hypnotic Dreamwork™, and
traditional Gestalt awareness processes that don't utilize a formal
hypnotic induction.
After practicing methods such as detached regression, Gestalt,
and ideomotor techniques independently, those processes can
be selectively integrated into sessions along with other methods
used in emotional clearing regression strategies. In classes at my
hypnotherapy school, homework study and practice are further
effective building blocks to the live demonstrations, discussions
and supervised practice.
Understanding Abreaction and Catharsis

In spite of the potential for profound value, the subject of
regression is minimally discussed or completely absent in most
The Value of Catharsis in Regression 21
books for hypnotherapists. When it is emphasized, it is often done

in specific, limited ways. In many cases, detachment methods are
presented for routine use to encourage the avoidance of emotions.
Emotional clearing methods are rarely mentioned or utilized. It
is not surprising then, that information referencing the release of
intense emotions and the related use of the terms catharsis and
abreaction are absent from most hypnotherapy literature. Partly
because of its occasional use in the general language, catharsis is
more commonly understood than abreaction.
The term abreaction was first used in psychotherapy when
Josef Breuer developed his "cathartic method," described in
Studies in Hysteria, which he co-authored with Sigmund Freud
and published in 1895. An abreaction referred to the therapeutic
process of releasing intense emotions while recovering buried
memories. In modern usage the term has typically lost the early
association of necessarily referring to recovering memories. This
series uses the current common meaning of the word. As I stated in
Volume I, an abreaction in therapy "is a release of psychic tension
through a highly emotionalized, expressive reliving of a repressed
traumatic experience, processing through to a resolution." This
volume's appendix explores further details about historical and
contemporary meanings and uses of these words.
Abreactions are common occurrences when using the powerful
emotional clearing methods emphasized in this two-volume set.
Even many books that explore regression in greater depth will
attempt to limit the client's experience of negative emotions,
much less the release of a full-blown catharsis. However, within
the context of appropriate therapy, such intense emotions are
an opportunity for powerful growth. This is also true regarding
spontaneous abreactions, which can occur at any time during a
hypnotherapy session.
Spontaneous Abreaction
The subconscious mind is the seat of the emotions and
memories. When working with hypnotic methods that are not
intended to encourage harsh emotions, it is important to carefully
focus on the positive. This would include most forms of direct
and indirect suggestions, metaphors, systematic desensitization,
and those regressions meant to be limited to positive experiences
or detachment. However, in such a context, even an unexpected

spontaneous abreaction can be reframed into an opportunity.
For example, unaware of a client's phobia, a therapist during
an initial hypnotic process may use a bridge metaphor that causes
the subject to spontaneously abreact. In rare cases a client might
even abreact to an innocent semantic reference, such as, "Let's
bridge the gap between ...." Furthermore, he or she may not seem
to have a strong conscious negative association with bridges, but
still may abreact to the image because of a buried trauma. In such
cases important healing work can be accomplished, including via
emotional clearing if ideomotor signals validate continuing in that
direction.
Much more likely than a true abreaction to the bridge references
given above, such a client could inwardly be significantly
disturbed, while expressing it to a moderate or barely discernable
degree outwardly. Once again, ideomotor signals may encourage
proceeding with the issue and in some such cases, that processing
could lead to an abreaction.
Simon Rosenberg points out that revivification of past
accomplishments may turn to abreaction if the person perceives the
image as confirming a loss. But he recognizes this can be "a valuable
therapeutic event to get the patient beyond the mourning stages of
denial, anger and depression to acceptance and continuation of life."
These are a few examples of unusual spontaneous abreactions,
which can often also be beneficial. This book focuses instead on
hypnotic regression modalities that in many cases may evolve into
catharsis at some point in the session. Rather than lirni ting the focus
to the specific portions of therapy that may produce catharsis the
emphasis is on the whole session, of which cathartic experiences
can play a crucial part.
Exploring the Value of Emotional Release

When appropriate, emotional expression can be extremely
valuable during therapy. Hypnotherapy, and regression in
particular, can provide a safe place for the purging of repressed
emotions or energy that has been turned inward. As William Boyd,
a psychiatrist turned pathologist wrote in A Textbook of Pathology,
"Tears which have no vent in sorrow make other organs weep."
In a therapeutic setting, emotions can be released in a way that
doesn't hurt anyone else and helps the individual to stop hurting
him or herself.
Gil Boyne addresses age regression as "a process used
during the hypnotic trance to revive earlier memories with vivid
emotional intensity. The purpose is to uncover early programmed
ideas and concepts that have become fixed in the emotional
mind. As a result, these 'fixed' ideas can form the foundation
for frustrating, self-defeating behaviors." He goes on to explain,
"Regression is accomplished by intensifying the predominant
underlying subconscious emotion which has been identified by
the hypnotherapist during the preinduction interview. The subject
is then told to go to an earlier time in which the same emotions
were experienced (affect bridge). This allows the hypnotherapist to
discover how traumatic experiences and wrong interpretations of
experiences have created fixed ideas that support counterproductive
frustrating behaviors."
A client may have a presenting issue that his inability to connect
emotionally is adversely affecting his relationships. After checking
with ideomotor signals and receiving subconscious permission to
explore any memories or emotions that might arise regarding that
issue, an affect bridge is used that leads back to an initial sensitizing
event: As a young boy he is forced to hold back tears at the news
of his father's death. "Don't upset your mother. You're a big boy
now. Big boys don't cry." He gets the message that he is no longer
allowed to feel his feelings.
During the processing of this revivification the therapist may
coach him to understand that it's different now. As he begins to
get in touch with his grief he can be encouraged to accept that it's
safe and good to feel his feelings. After years of repressing any
expression of grief, loss and perhaps other emotions, he may be
holding in a tremendous amount of energy. As the energy begins
to move he may sob quietly, or held back emotions might surge in a
dramatic release of repressed tears and grief. Whatever comes up can
be encouraged to run its course, encouraged by positive suggestions
of how freeing it is to now be in touch with his feelings, and so on.
It can be so valuable for a person in therapy to release
repressed emotions, including anger, in a symbolic way that
doesn't hurt anybody. Examples are detailed in Chapter 3, Working
with Abreaction, and in the transcribed sessions of this series. In
fact, by expressing emotions within the therapeutic context, a

person can learn to stop being stuck internalizing them. Fritz
Perls pointed out that stifling our feelings implodes them. When
habitually or in extraordinary circumstances holding those intense
feelings in instead of finding constructive release, we ultimately
create negative effects both internally and through our external
interactions.
Emotional clearing is an effective tool for healing and self-
expression, but there is so much more. People who habitually
repress feelings and hold on to shame or other kinds of negative
feelings, can eventually manifest the effects in very unhealthy ways.
They may stifle their life force, damage self esteem, relationships,
career, and even harm their bodies physically over time by hanging
on to toxic thoughts and feelings. This work can enable our clients
to take charge of themselves and their power in so many ways.
Comprehensive emotional clearing strategies can actually be a life
saver for some.
Considerations to Keep in Mind

Every regression is unique. Sometimes the key is to focus on
the initial sensitizing event. In some cases regarding a series of
major incidents, it may be valuable to regress to a few of them, but
we don't need to explore every detail about each experience. After
processing through to a possible conclusion regarding an event,
we can check in with ideomotor signals to determine if there is
completion regarding exploration of memories. Later questioning
may confirm further resolution about emotions and relationships.
Incorporating ideomotor questioning into regression has many
beneficial functions. The subconscious can indicate important
information of which the client may be consciously unaware.
A client may come in and describe having negative reactions
toward certain circumstances or feelings toward a particular
person but is unable to recall or understand reasons for the
degree of negativity. A specific memory may not necessarily arise
during regression work, but either way the issue can become
resolved. Regardless of whether a client initially understands
negative feelings toward someone, when that energy is cleared out
there is a shift in the feelings the client has toward that person.
Correspondingly, there can even be a surprising and unsolicited
change in the energy of the other person. Some clients have

reported that after releasing negative feelings towards someone,
that person synchronistically initiated unexpected positive contact
with the client right afterwards.
Whenever memories are recalled, whether hypnotically or
not, they are not an exact snapshot or movie of events. Several
people can witness an accident and give very different accounts of
what they saw, just as family members can recall the same event
from long ago with greatly differing details. Our experiences can
combine with other memories and with associations, expectations,
fears, dreams or fantasies. We use various tools to hypnotically
recall memories, and an important key to increasing recall with the
greatest accuracy in any type of regression work is for the therapist
to work from a completely neutral position, encouraging the client
in various ways to also be neutral in the process. What is important
is that a person who felt stuck with the residual effects of trauma
can transform and transcend the event. To get there we can help
the client find effective ways to express and physically, emotionally
and psychically release the energy of that early experience.
In a private practice, when a session or two of deeper
regression work is appropriate, it would typically be a crucial
part of a series of sessions. In the context of my classes, the live
regression demonstrations such as those in this Transcripts of
Transformation series often lead to powerful transformation in a
single session. This is partly because the student's self-hypnosis
skills are encouraged and can often add further value after the
session. These books provide examples of how a single regression
session can be a giant leap to help bring about spectacular change.
Compared to hypnotic suggestion therapy, such a great shift
becomes much more common when doing hypnotic processes that
deal directly and powerfully with clearing major underlying issues,
as in comprehensive ideomotor and regression work and Hypnotic
Dreamwork™. Someone who reviewed my book, Become the
Dream, for a therapy journal commented, "These people seem to be
getting very dramatic results in just one session." The words "seem
to be" were used even though many of these individual sessions
finish with inspiring follow-up reports documenting very positive
outcomes months or years later. It seems amazing and yet personal
reports demonstrate that such dramatic results are not unusual.
CHAPTER 2
Encouraging vs Discouraging
Emotions
Emotional clearing is a process that allows an individual to get

in touch with feelings in order to express, release and clear them.
Expression of emotions, however, is not always part of what needs
to happen during regression. Sometimes the work is about getting
realizations or communicating truth to self or others and/ or a
need to let go or make peace, through routes that don't necessarily
need to include emotional clearing. It is crucial for the therapist
to remain neutral and get guidance from the client's subconscious
mind, rather than to have preconceived assumptions about the
direction in which a client needs to go.
Ideomotor Methods for Subconscious Guidance

As discussed in the first volume, after a hypnotic induction
I use ideomotor signals for subconscious guidance to determine
whether to freely explore memories and emotions. When the rare
signal is given for a complete conscious avoidance of memories
associated with the issue we can still proceed, including the use of
emotional detachment methods. A more common signal is to get
receptivity to memories but not emotions, which will lead to the
use of various techniques for detachment.
The vast majority of clients will signal that it is safe to be
in touch with both memories and emotions. That provides the
broadest opportunity for exploration and the greatest range of
options for therapeutic intervention. Moving forward after such

signals doesn't mean we should attempt to push the client into
catharsis. It means that we can open things up and encourage
whatever wants to emerge to do so.
Ideomotor methods, which are demonstrated in many
sessions of this Transcripts of Transformation series, can serve
various important functions in regression therapy. Sometimes an
excellent way to initiate regression work is with an in-depth line
of ideomotor questioning to make full use of buried memories,
knowledge, decisions and misunderstandings of the subconscious.
Such questioning can become a major part of the emphasis of the
session. Regression style sessions that emphasize uncovering
ideomotor methods much more thoroughly are the focus of my
forthcoming hypnotherapy training text, Ideomotor Magic in
Exploratory Hypnosis. That resource will demonstrate a further
world of possibilities with exploratory regression and serve as a
complementary companion to these two volumes.
Working with Emotions After Signals for Detachment

When working with a very emotionally charged issue one
logical direction would be to use the affect bridge to tap the
person into that feeling and then go back to an earlier major event,
followed by Gestalt work. But when this is contraindicated by a
subconscious communication of finger signals that feelings (or
some feelings) would be better to avoid during the regression, then
we can set up emotional dissociation.
One detachment method, as discussed in Volume I and
demonstrated in two of that book's transcripts, is to instruct the
client to watch relevant memories as scenes projected onto a theater
screen. The person may feel emotions with the similar objectivity
she would while watching a movie. Suggestions can be given for
ongoing detachment as scenes come up or develop. The "child" on
the screen can be referred to in third person, to further encourage
detachment.
Careful, detailed detachment suggestions and metaphors
frequently work well. If, at some point, emotions begin to surface
in spite of suggestions to the contrary, ideomotor questions can
determine if the client has seen enough or be used to check with
the subconscious mind to find out if further detachment is needed.
Encouraging vs Discouraging Emotions 29
Sometimes there is an initial request for detachment, but as the

session develops and the issue becomes clear the subconscious may
communicate receptivity or desire to feel emotions. Ideomotor signals
could lead to a selective working through of certain feelings or may
indicate complete openness to any intensity of emotional clearing.
If the subconscious signals for detachment again a supportive
statement can be made, such as "That's good that your subconscious
mind is helping to protect you from that experience." The therapist
could then give further dissociative suggestions before continuing
with the therapy. The careful use of such methods will provide
a calming influence to help the client proceed with emotions
subdued if not completely set aside. Besides the powerful coping
influence of imagery and suggestion, this support from the therapist
further improves rapport and increases trust and receptivity, thus
increasing the effectiveness of the therapy.
When we are guiding a process with emotional dissociation,
we would avoid a Gestalt dialogue which, like the affect bridge,
would tend to bring up emotions. In many cases we would focus
on the memory just long enough to know pertinent aspects of
what happened, then bring the client forward to the present while
remaining in hypnosis. We would emphasize realizations such as
helping her to discover or more fully understand misconceptions
that had developed and how she had been living her life that
way until now, reeducation of the subconscious mind, positive
suggestions, and possibly some inner child work. An additional
direction could be given to encourage the person to imagine
changing the memory in some way to reframe the experience.
Detailed examples of averting strong emotions within the structure
of potential emotional clearing regression are explored in Chapters
8 and 21.
Utilizing Openness to Emotions

An ideomotor signal that indicates receptivity to working
with memories and emotions gives the greatest potential range for
therapeutic modalities. For example, a client may think he has been
releasing emotions in his life when in reality he has mostly been
developing muscular tension and other physical and emotional
problems. To help the client through a comprehensive healing,
various processes, including the affect bridge and Gestalt, may be
integrated as appropriate to release stifling emotions, transform

stuck thought patterns and behavior, clear out issues of repression,
and deepen realizations.
If the person signals a readiness for it, let's go for it. Sometimes
a person is so ready that as I'm using an affect bridge to tap the
person into a particular emotion, it can feel like the dam is bursting
within seconds. This may be the beginning of an immediate and
powerful abreaction. If emotions aren't strongly experienced by
the conclusion of the affect bridge, Gestalt and similar processes
that may develop during the regression can ultimately lead to
abreaction.
At the conclusion of the affect bridge I normally coax out a
description of the memory in the present tense. I begin with very
simple quick questions and answers, which can encourage a
distant memory that is beginning to surface. However, if the client
is already expressing emotions while reliving an event, I initially
encourage the continuing expression or even greater expression
of the emotions before eliciting details of the scene such as who,
what, where and when.
A description of the scene often leads to various Gestalt
procedures, frequently bringing an intensification of emotions
which I will further encourage, as occurs often in the transcripts
of these two volumes. As emotions arise it is important to proceed
flexibly during Gestalt, dealing with what emerges. The processes
may involve dialogues with a person or persons involved in
the sensitizing event(s), inner awareness processes, and inner
dialogues. We may eventually move to other events and I or to
a current related life difficulty. Every situation is unique. Some
sessions may develop into extensive dialoguing while in others
there may be little of that.
Having the client tune into inner awareness can yield an
abundance of information and lead to beneficial directions for the
therapeutic processes. In some cases the client may be subdued,
or feeling some feelings but not very expressively, or expression
may become stronger or fully cathartic. The inner awareness may
spontaneously lead to feelings or insights that we further explore.
We can go with the flow, checking in without suggesting negative
feelings. When an awareness of tension or emotion does surface, it
is typically best to address it until it is released.
Encouraging vs Discouraging Emotions 31
In spite of the strong negative memory and feelings encouraged

by the affect bridge, in rare cases the client may arrive at what
appears to be a pleasant scene or memory. This can be explored. It
may evolve into a negative experience or it may not. In either case,
an initial apparent positive memory or a fantasized idyllic scene is
not to be framed as an assumption of resistance. It eventually could
be determined to be, but there are various constructive possibilities.
(The extensive framing and concerns among hypnotherapists
regarding the various possibilities of resistance and solutions
to overcome it are discussed in many hypnotherapy books.) A
positive memory may be guidance from the subconscious mind
for perspective, or a hint at resourcefulness, or a rediscovery of
positive experiences that can be reanchored for healing. A fantasy
may be discovered to be a creative way the client learned to survive
and cope with trauma(s). As such, it can be acknowledged, learned
from and appreciated.
After completing the processing of a positive memory or
fantasy, one possibility could be to check with ideomotor signals
for guidance on how to proceed. Another could be an exclusively
positive focus on the person's resourcefulness as a child, including
a dialogue between the adult and child (such as can be done in
transactional analysis, pyschosynthesis, parts therapy and Gestalt).
This dialogue can help heal in many ways, including creating
a profound appreciation for self and acceptance of deserving
various forms of good outcomes. Among the many suggestions
that the therapist can add at the conclusion of this dialogue is the
recognition of the positive surprises the client can create in life.
You can acknowledge the power the client has demonstrated to
transform an extremely negative experience (of being hypnotically
guided to relive a trauma) into a process that is a wonderful
experience throughout.
CHAPTER 3
Working with Abreaction
Abreaction is a highly emotional reliving of an experience, which

frequently becomes a catharsis. A regression to a major difficulty,
such as a childhood trauma, can bring up a whole spectrum of
emotions, ultimately ranging in intensity from fairly mild to
cathartic. It is standard operating procedure for many therapists to
automatically attempt to avert strong unpleasant emotions during
regression. However, regression hypnotherapy can provide an
appropriate and very advantageous opportunity to work with the
client's feelings. Emotions associated with unresolved issues may
be released as part of a powerful healing process.
By the conclusion of some emotional clearing regression
sessions, the client may manifest powerful positive feelings such
as joy, bliss, euphoria and ecstasy. Positive feelings as well as
negative ones can sometimes reach a level of catharsis.
Preparation for Potential Catharsis

It can be helpful, if you're preparing to do regression work
that might involve some intensity, to have the client lie down ·
on a mattress or well-cushioned pad. Anger may sometimes be
released by hitting the mattress with fists or hitting a large pillow
held by the therapist in front of the client. Powerful energy may
be expressed by having the person kick down on the mattress or
outwards against a large pillow. If necessary, the pillow can be held
far enough away that it is barely reached as the client hits or kicks
outwards and the therapist can let it give way. This is especially so
for a smaller therapist, but can be relevant for someone of any size.
(Even a large, strong therapist needs to be prepared for physical

force that can become explosive.)
As you work with your client, pay attention to body language.
If the client's hands are being clenched into fists I might encourage
hitting or squeezing a large pillow. If I'm guiding the person to hit
or push the pillow away, I will brace myself.
I want to be sure to have a box of tissues with me, and in rare
cases it will be handy to have a wastebasket or bag nearby in case a
client begins to feel very nauseous. I have two or three large pillows
ready when I'm doing a session, which can be used in a variety of
ways. One pillow may end up being used for releasing aggression
and another might be held onto or hugged as the therapy develops,
representing another person or the inner child. If the client is lying
on a mattress as opposed to a recliner, a pillow under the knees
may remove potential strain on the lower back.
An example of how a pillow can be used is to symbolize
someone the client has felt "beat up" by as a way of externalizing
a feeling that has been internalized. "Here is your father. You're
bigger than him now and he can't hurt you any more. Hit him
back. Get that energy out of you and back to where it belongs." In
exceptional cases a client may be unwilling to hit back as a matter
of principle, and I will honor that. An alternative might be to have
the client push the pillow away to move that energy out. It might
also be processed in some other way, such as shifting your focus
for a time to verbal communication.
Encouraging Emotional Awareness and Expression
To help a client get more in touch with emotions, the therapist

may encourage breathing deeply, down to the belly. As a Gestalt
dialogue develops feelings can sometimes be intensified by having
the client repeat an important point. As emotions arise you could
suggest the client speak louder.
The client can be periodically guided to go inside and report
internal awareness. Whatever is being experienced inwardly can
be accentuated. You may suggest experiencing the feelings more
strongly. The whole body can make a movement or express the
tension that was being made or felt in one area and exaggerate it.
Many forms of repetitive physical movements or positioning can
help to bring up feelings.
In some cases just staying with an internal feeling will dissipate
the emotions. Intensifying the feeling, including with movements,
Working with Abreaction 35
may also help to quickly disperse the energy. On the other hand,
as the client stays with the experience, emotions often develop into
greater intensity, in some cases evolving into a full catharsis.
As the client is turning attention inward and getting in touch
with feelings, you may coax out sounds. Instruction can be given
to make noise with each exhalation. If he or she is feeling hurt
and perhaps has watery eyes or has shed a few tears, encourage
breathing deeply, feeling the feelings and releasing more sound.
Teary eyes or subdued crying can turn into loud sobbing or perhaps
bawling like a baby. If you are guiding the client into an action, such
as kicking or hitting the mattress, or squeezing, hitting, twisting,
kneading or biting a pillow, encourage more sound to be released
as it's being done.
One way that abreaction may occur is with a sudden release of
screaming or crying or whatever emotion is coming up. Whatever
is developing, I encourage all of the repressed feelings to get out.
That can take as long as a person needs.
Whether the feelings begin to develop gradually or suddenly,
sometimes a tremendous amount of intensity is very quickly
released and cleared. At other times a lot of energy has been released
but when checking in the client might still feel some emotions or
might say something like, "I'm feeling better but there's still some
tension in my throat." That would indicate there is more energy to
get out. It can also happen during emotional clearing that there can
be a temporary exhaustion which further opens the subconscious.
Always pay attention to the person's voice and body language.
Continue to return to asking the client to report his or her internal
awareness. Sometimes checking with ideomotor signals is useful
to confirm completion.
If the client is dealing with an extremely negative parent or
abuser in regression I will often use a modified Gestalt approach to
avoid having the client become the other person. When switching
I might instead say, "See (your father) in front of you. What does
he say in response?" Especially with a particularly sensitive or
fearful person regressed to a young age, it may be useful to give
more of a sense of safety. I can encourage the client that I'm here
to give protection and support so that she can say what she feels. I
sometimes suggest that the person create a barrier (like a Plexiglas
shield) through which he can be encouraged to say whatever needs
to be said to the abuser from a safe place. Then a modified Gestalt
process can help support more communication and emotional
expression.
Bioenergetics and related body oriented therapies emphasize

methods of symbolic repetitive physical movements, positions and
verbal statements that can help bring up and release emotions.
It may take some time to gain confidence and comfort in
utilizing full abreactions. As a therapist, if discomfort in working
with some forms of emotional expression persists, you may want
to explore any personal issues that might be being reflected or
associated with displays of intense emotions.
Bringing It All Together

Once the energy has been freed and issues have been worked
through to resolution, that stuck place can be released and the client
can be brought back to the present while remaining in hypnosis.
With a clear, deeper subconscious recognition of the circumstances
that initiated and developed a current life difficulty, the therapeutic
breakthroughs can be integrated into the here and now. The
process can be furthered by self-analysis and discussion so that
the client can fully recognize the effects of misconceptions, and let
go of resultant expectations and habits "that have continued until
now." (Perfection going forward is not assumed by the therapist.
This phrase is used as a suggestion to help further the client's goals
and expectations.) This can be combined with various modalities
including tapping into the wisdom of the subconscious and post-
hypnotic suggestions.
There can be no specific blueprint on how to work with
a particular issue because each client and situation is unique.
I will often go with my intuition in choosing directions and
spontaneously shifting them as processes emerge. However, the
Summary of 15 Major Steps in Emotional Clearing Regression
described in Chapter 3 of Volume I gives a basic general structure
that can frequently work exceptionally well. As shown there, in the
later stages this typically includes hypnoanalysis and reeducation
of the subconscious regarding misconceptions, the use of positive
suggestions, and sometimes dialogue and imagery regarding
healing of the inner child. When working with the inner child, at
times it feels appropriate to eventually create an ideal mother and/
or an ideal father in cases involving more severely abusive parents
or parental dialogues that did not reach full resolution.
It is important to understand that the point of catharsis and
emotional clearing work is not to build up energy against a
perpetrator or abusive parent or sibling, etc. In this aspect it is
Working with Abreaction 37
about working through the difficult emotions that have been taken
in and transforming imploded identifications and reactions, so
that the client can let go of hostilities and unfinished business.
The object is to stop internalizing negative energy, to release and
transform it and move on. Forgiveness, if that happens, needs to
come spontaneously from the client if and when he or she is ready,
which can often happen during emotional clearing regression. It is
not to be coaxed by the therapist. Ultimately, if a person is ready, it
is a wonderful completion to be able to forgive and get on with his
or her own life without being held back by harboring unfinished
feelings. Examples of this are found in many of the transcripts of
both volumes.
Be aware that releasing a negative emotion in the process of
healing, such as anger regarding a past incident, does not mean the
client will never experience that feeling in any circumstances again.
The purpose of the therapy is not to forever dissolve an emotion
that the client has felt disturbed by. The purpose is to transform
unfinished stuck places that have been continuing to constrict a
client's life, and in the process the person can move on much more
integrated, whole, and alive.
CHAPTER 4
Grounding and Centering

for the Therapist
Grounding and centering techniques empower you as a

therapist to maintain balance in your professional and personal
life. As you work with clients these practices can support you in
dealing with their difficult issues. It is important to avoid taking on
anyone's energy or getting dragged down by the drama, yet you
want to remain open and receptive to receiving information while
providing a supportive presence. You don't do your clients' work
for them, but you do your good work using your centered energy
and awareness. The importance of this is certainly magnified when
working with regression that has the potential to become cathartic.
Having clear boundaries helps you to be at your best, for your sake
and for your clients.
There are many good ways to prepare yourself and the
hypnotic techniques included here can be a valuable aspect. They
are effective to use before moving into any session and especially so
if you know you will be working with regression or with someone
who has a particularly difficult issue or who might be challenging
to work with. In addition, these practices can be used as a good
daily meditation. Abbreviated forms can be used several times
during the day for various kinds of stress reduction and focus.
A Grounding and Centering Induction

The process can be started by sitting comfortably in a chair, but
with good posture. It is best to have the legs uncrossed, feet flat on
the floor, and hands resting palms up on your legs. The following
is a script that you can visualize in self-hypnosis. You can also
record it for the option of enjoying the receptivity of being guided
through the process. A hypnotic meditation such as this can also be
advantageous to assist and teach clients in sessions and in classes,
as will be discussed toward the end of this chapter.
Focus your eyes on a spot on the ceiling or on the upper wall. As you
do that take three slow, deep and comfortable breaths. With each exhale
think the words "relax now." Take these deep breaths at your own rate,
thinking the words "relax now" at the end of each breath. (pause) On the
third exhale let your eyelids close down. Continue breathing at your own
rate, deeply and comfortably. Enjoy the comfort of your eyes being closed.
Breath through the nose, down deep into the stomach. You are inhaling
life-giving oxygen. As you exhale, feel yourself letting go of any tension.
(pause)
As you continue your deep, peaceful breathing, imagine something
that's called a grounding cord. This cord is hollow in the center and is
starting from either the base of your spine or your perineum. It drops
straight down towards the center of the earth from wherever you are or
wherever you imagine yourself to be. The cord can be any diameter or
thickness, and it goes right down into the earth, helping to ground you.
(pause)
Now imagine that you can draw energy up from the earth through
your feet. Healing earth energy. You might want to imagine it as a semi-
clear energy or an earthy reddish-brown color. It lifts up into your body,
through your legs, coming all the way up your back, up your spine,
through your neck to the top of your head. Now it rotates back down
and as it rotates down some of it washes through your shoulders, down
your arms, into your hands, and out through your palms. Some of it
moves down your torso and out through your grounding cord, and some
continues on down and goes out through the soles of your feet. There is
a kind of circular movement through your body as the energy comes up
through your feet all the way to the top of your head, circles around and
goes back down. This is called running energy. Experience and enjoy this
healing earth energy. (pause)
Breath deep down into your belly, staying aware of your grounding
cord and feeling the earth energy. Now visualize healing light. This
healing light can be clear or it can be white or golden or some other pure
Grounding and Centering for the Therapist 41
color. It is showering down on you and cleansing you. If it is daytime you

can imagine it coming from the sun, or you can imagine it coming from
the cosmos. Or you can imagine having your own brilliant star several
feet over your head, shining down this healing light. As you are showered
with this healing light, whether it's glittering gold or clear or some other
color, just let it radiate through your body and purify it. Any negativity
is draining out of your body through the palms of your hands, the soles
of your feet and your grounding cord. This light is surrounding you and
penetrating through your body, and it's now merging with that healing
energy from the earth. You have healing light from the cosmos and healing
energy from the earth. It merges and circulates through your body, healing
and cleansing. (pause)
Now imagine there is an aura of healing light around your body. Some
people tell us that they can see auras. You can imagine it or see it radiating
from the life force inside you. This aura might be more visual to you or
it could be a feeling like a force or a warmth or a pleasant healing energy
surrounding you. Just imagine this radiant aura, a kind of protective cocoon
around your body, radiating outward in all directions. It might radiate out
eight inches at first, then 10 inches, 12 inches, perhaps more. (pause)
Notice if the aura is strong all around your body or if it's weak
somewhere. You can visualize sending extra light to any location that
needs strengthening. You can also imagine having a special duster that
you can use to fluff it up and make it stronger, healing the aura in that
area so that the aura around your whole body begins to radiate out equally
in all directions. It extends above your head to below your feet and in all
directions out. This is a radiant light of healing and protection. (pause)
Become aware of your hands now. Notice if they're tingling or if they
have some kind of energy. Imagine that you've got healing energy in your
hands. Without physically moving your hands you can send that energy
from your hands to a particular area of your body. You can imagine
sending that energy to somewhere in your body right now. Feel energy
coming up from the earth and radiating from above, merging and mixing
in your body. Cleansing and healing your body. Your body is radiating a
protective healing aura around you, a light of protection and healing. Feel
that healing energy in various areas of your body, including your hands.
Listen in the quiet now for a minute or so and just enjoy this feeling of
being centered and sending healing energy. (pause for a minute or two).
Each time you use these visualizations they become more vivid and
you have more beneficial grounding and healing effects. In a moment I'll
begin to count from one to five. With each number you become more and
more alert, awake and aware. Feeling more and more rested and refreshed,
through number five when you open your eyes. You retain this good,
peaceful energy while at the same time you come back fully alert, rested
and energized. Number one, beginning to return to your full conscious
awareness. Number two, more and more rested and refreshed. Number
three, continuing to feel your grounded presence as you become more
alert, awake and aware. Number four, getting ready to open your eyes,
revitalized on the next number. Number five! Take a nice, deep breath now
and bring yourself back, fully aware ....
Methods and Uses

Grounding techniques can be used for an entire process as
shown above, and even drawn out further, such as focusing for
a longer time on the breathing. But such imagery or some aspects
can also be done briefly for a minute or two or even just for a
few seconds, depending on the circumstances. In particular, after
sufficient practice, you may develop very good results from an
abbreviated grounding process that could be used regularly prior
to sessions. At times you may want to just momentarily review
some of the steps in your mind.
We can strive to attain what the Buddhists speak of as detached
compassion. In our work with others we want to be totally present
without getting pulled into the drama or tragedy of a particular
situation. We are most able to both protect ourselves and serve the
other person when our boundaries remain clear.
When using suggestions, as in the examples above, I focus on
the imagination. There are some, particularly in psychic healing
fields, who teach that we really do have a grounding cord and
our own personal star, etc., in the etheric plane. We don't need to
believe that for these techniques to work well. The imagination is
very powerful. Einstein said, "Imagination is more powerful than
knowledge."
When I do this hypnotic process with a client or a group I
sometimes add a bonus, as I did here, of the feeling of healing
energy in the hands. While this healing energy isn't a grounding
and centering method per se, it can be a natural development and
most individuals can relate to it. There are established Western
methods of healing through the hands such as chiropractic, various
forms of massage, and some aspects of physical therapy. There are

also myriad other forms that have been developed in the West and
in various cultures. Examples include laying on of hands, reiki,
zone or polarity therapy, Mesmeric passes, touch for health, and
forms of deep tissue work such as structural integration. Some
methods include physical touch while others do not.
After Chris' cathartic session in class, transcribed in Chapter
19, one of the class members thanked me, saying, "Even though
we know it, I was grateful that you reminded us to put down
our grounding cords." With regression work such as this the
importance of getting and staying centered and being ready for
anything is particularly clear. Sometimes strong emotions arise,
sometimes not. Each situation develops differently. When you
are working with clients, just knowing how good it is for them
to purge the energy they've been turning against themselves can
help you to keep your compassion and yet be desensitized to the
feelings being expressed by them. Being prepared through the use
of methods such as those described above can help the therapist to
accomplish this.
Other students in that audience told me during the break
that they were feeling so much emotion 'watching the session that
they started to cry (which is a common response for many when
observing a session of someone working through a trauma). One
of them said that seeing that I wasn't crying helped her to maintain
her composure. However, being in my position is certainly different
than being an observer. If I was out there I might cry at some point
too. That's not to say that I never shed tears when I'm working
in a session, but having the responsibility helps me to detach to a
greater degree and stay in charge with an open heart.
Also, as therapists continue over time to do regression work,
which sometimes involves emotional clearing, we can get adjusted
to the intensity so it becomes easier to remain centered while being
with someone who is expressing any degree of emotions. I can
feel empathy for someone but at the same time I am here to serve
and guide this person. It's important to have my independent
experience to be able to do that.
It is normal for anyone to have discomfort when initially
observing such intensity in therapy. If a therapist continues to feel
substantial discomfort with certain kinds of issues or emotions, that
could be a sign that there is some significant issue that is unresolved.

Obviously, that could be a wake-up call for the therapist to receive
some valuable therapy that may include regression work to get
resolution.
There are many good ways to ground ourselves in addition
to the process described above. One of the ways I prepare myself
before a session is by studying my notes from the previous session(s)
with the person I'm about to meet. It grounds me to meditate and
perhaps jot down further notes about what we might discuss or
do next. In my life in general, ways that I create balance include
exercise, having a good diet, organizing my schedule, using
self-hypnosis, experiencing nature, and doing some meditation
as needed. By grounding yourself you are helping to keep your
energy strong and letting good, healing energy channel through
you.
Besides using these methods for ourselves, we can teach them
to our clients. Rather than just explaining such processes, I like
to primarily teach them while guiding an individual or group
through a tailor-made hypnosis or section of a hypnotic process.
These techniques can be used in a variety of ways. When you
have a client, for example, feeling under stress, overly emotional,
scattered, hypersensitive, overloaded or out of control in life,
experiencing and learning to practice guided imagery such as
given above can help that person to regain physical and emotional
composure and feel calm and in control. Clearly such processes
can be valuable for many people.
I often use grounding imagery during hypnosis if I'm using
detachment or dissociation methods. For example, as emphasized in
Chapters 2 and 8 as well as in the first volume, sometimes regression
is best done with some degree or a great degree of detachment.
However, that will get determined by ideomotor signals after the
induction. I will avoid emphasizing centering methods during a
hypnotic induction that is preparing for regression because I want
the client to have full access to the emotions and frustrations in
order to work through them, if confirmation by ideomotor signals
indicates that is appropriate.
Summary of Sample Grounding

and Centering Steps
1. Eye focus with deep breathing and counting, then closing

the eyes.
2. Focus on breathing. (This is a good centering tool that is used
in many meditation techniques.)
3. Imagine a grounding cord going from the base of the spine
or perineum down towards the center of the earth. This can be
done even when you're well above the first floor of a building.
4. Imagine running energy. Bring up energy from the earth,
however you want to imagine that.
5. Visualize healing light. If it's nighttime you might imagine
light coming from the cosmos. If it's daytime you might visualize
light coming from the sun. Or at any time you could have your
own personal star shining over your head, showering you with
healing light of any color. Most people would want to choose a
pure color that feels cleansing and peaceful, like blue or white or
green or gold.
6. Imagine an aura around you. If you're aware of som~ part
of your aura that is weak, let's say there is a weakness in the area
of your neck, imagine taking something like a duster and fluffing
it up. Visualize your aura radiating out 12 inches or more around
you in all directions. Think of it as an aura of protection and healing
energy around you.
7. An additional step can be added if it's relevant, to become
aware of healing energy in your hands.
CHAPTER 5
Daniel's Emotional Blocking

The Shock of the Sudden Divorce
Daniel has come from across the country for continuing

education in an advanced hypnotherapy class. He has been
discussing his desire for hypnotherapy contrasted with his forms
of strong resistance, which he describes in some detail. He says
he has consistently been a very difficult subject to work with in
hypnotherapy, although he feels that Randal might be the one
person that could provide some hope to work effectively with him.
Randal encourages Daniel, telling him that he has confidence they
will get good results together if he wants to do therapy now in
class. Daniel joins Randal in front of the group. At the conclusion
of this transcript, Randal will discuss many of the ways in which
he worked with Daniel's negative mental expectancy and potential
resistance in this session.
RANDAL: I'm hearing you say that there are two related big
things that come up for you, Daniel. There is some performance
anxiety about working in hypnosis, and then when feelings come
up you block them.
DANIEL: Yes.
RANDAL: I remember that you volunteered as a subject in a
demonstration I gave at an International Hypnotherapy Conference
three years ago, in front of 50 people that you didn't know. I don't
remember that you appeared nervous then and I don't sense any
nervousness from you here now, except for what you've been
48 CATHARSIS IN REGRESSION HYPNOTHERAPY
telling me. I think it's admirable that even though you feel that fear
you're choosing to move through it. That's one good way to work
with fear when you know that realistically there is nothing to be
afraid of. You just jump into the middle of it and work with it.
Let's look at this performance anxiety, the feeling you have
when you have to come up with something and you block it. Can
you recall when you were a child experiencing any performance
anxiety?
DANIEL: Not really. I don't remember much of my childhood
but it seems like something happened, maybe at Christmas time.
I was supposed to perhaps do something but blocked and didn't
remember the words. I don't have any clear recollection but
something like that might have happened.
RANDAL: So there might have been something about you
blocking during a performance when you were a child, and that
might have made a lasting impact on you.
DANIEL: Yes. And I remember one time in a geometry class in
about the eighth grade that I had a total blocking. Everything went
blank and I went into a state of internal panic and was unable to do
anything on that exam. Actually it happened again at a major point
in my life when I was in a doctoral program in economics. I had just
gone through a divorce and all sorts of trauma. I lost everything
-house, family, job, occupation. I wasn't able to perform anymore
in my exams. I can feel some emotions corning up now with that.
RANDAL: That was when you were in college and working
toward your Ph.D.?
DANIEL: It was the final part of my Ph.D. program.
RANDAL: You just blocked out in your exams to the point that
you did very poorly or couldn't even complete them?
DANIEL: I had to drop out because I just wasn't able to do the
exams. I might add that it's been that way ever since in terms of
taking information in, especially in a visual mode like reading. It's
a chore for me. I really have to work at it. It doesn' t come easily
anymore.
RANDAL: Were you ever able to complete your Ph.D. in
economics?
DANIEL: No, I didn't.
RANDAL: But you had nearly completed it. The fact that you
could go that far involving such complex studies shows that even
Daniel's Emotional Blocking 49
though you really do have to work at something to learn it, you

are able to do well. Someone else might have only gone through a
BA program and stopped there and not even tried for an MA. Yet
you went on and completed an MA and then made it most of the
way through your Ph.D. program. You had already accomplished
a lot.
How would you describe your life in general now? Would you
say that performance issues keep coming up regularly or that they
hardly ever come up?
DANIEL: It comes up in different training programs and so
forth. I have that fear of performance or of being judged or that
I'm not going to get the material. And since I went through that
traumatic time around the divorce 19 years ago, and having to
drop out of graduate school, I really haven't been functioning at a
high level since then.
RANDAL: Really, not at all?
DANIEL: In terms of being able to take information in and
organize it in a coherent way and put it back out... I mean, I can
do it, but it's a tremendous amount of work. It doesn't come easy
anymore. I figure I'm working at maybe three to five percent of my
abilities. It's really a struggle.
RANDAL: Okay, let's go more into that experience from 19
years ago. You say you went through a divorce and you lost your
job?
DANIEL: Home, family.
RANDAL: You lost your family because of the divorce?
DANIEL: Right, all the separation.
RANDAL: So you had kids?
DANIEL: Four.
RANDAL: How long had you been married?
DANIEL: At that time, ten years.
RANDAL: You seem younger than that.
DANIEL: (laughing) Thank you. I'll accept that.
RANDAL: Your welcome. That was almost 20 years ago.
Everything changed in your life while you were going through
that. In addition to the divorce, it sounds like you must have been
under a lot of stress at that time between going on for the Ph.D.
in economics and holding down a job and having all those young
children in the family.
DANIEL: That's true.

RANDAL: The children must all have been under ten. It was
obviously a terribly tough time for you. How did you lose your job?
DANIEL: I meant occupation. I was training to become an
economist in economic development so that career path was
gone.
RANDAL: So you lost your potential occupation. Were you
working your way through school or was your wife helping when
all of this was happening?
DANIEL: I'd worked at Mission Bell Telephone as an electronic
technician and I left that to go back to school.
RANDAL: So you had saved up some money and you quit the
job to devote yourself full time for a couple of years to school?
DANIEL: Exactly. The issue you and I worked on at the
conference had to do with difficulties in terms of allergies, lack of
concentration, and not being able to focus clearly, so it tied in in
that way. But the focus at that time seemed to be a car accident that
happened when I was 17.
RANDAL: That's the part I remember. I did ideomotor response
work with you regarding the car accident, and we got some results
but not a completion on it.
DANIEL: Yes, and at the time I felt that there were some
emotional issues involved but I got in that state of not really
wanting to be there and exposed in front of the group. I felt there
was blocking in some of my responses because at one point it got
to be so much that I just wanted it to be done. My fear of what
might be ready to emerge contaminated my response. Not that I
purposely moved a finger, but the fear was getting so strong.
RANDAL: That can sometimes happen. You mentioned that
something might have happened around Christmas or the holidays
when you were a child. Is it your sense that you were going to give
a performance and it didn't work out?
DANIEL: Yes.
RANDAL: Okay. And that's the only other conscious memory
regarding performance issues before the eighth grade when you
blanked out?
DANIEL: Well, no. There must be more. I started school when
I was four years-old so I wasn't able to perform at the level of a lot
of the other kids. If I remember correctly I got held back in a lower
level reading class and always had a devil of a time with arithmetic
in beginning math situations. I had a hard time in art class keeping
the colors within the lines, that sort of thing. I was never accepted
on the playground because I didn't have the physical coordination.
All of these things could tie in very well.
RANDAL: Certainly. You do remember a little about those
things then.
DANIEL: Just a little bit. I don't have specific memories, just
things that sort of drift back into my awareness.
RANDAL: Are you're saying that because you started school a
little early you think that was why it was difficult for you?
DANIEL: Probably. I might have been a little dyslexic, also. I'm
not sure. Once I got the knack of reading I became an avid reader
and devoured everything, but there was maybe a year period
where it seemed impossible that I'd ever get it. I don't remember
the feelings around that but it must have been intense.
RANDAL: You say you don't remember much from childhood
but to remember really struggling at the age of four to five on your
reading is significant, even if you don't remember the details.
DANIEL: I think that it happened. It just seems that I was held
back.
RANDAL: Do you mean you were actually kept from advancing
in a semester or a grade at some point?
DANIEL: Actually, I think that happened, too. I know there was
some discussion about it because I missed maybe five or six weeks
of school due to illness. There was diseussion about me being held
back a grade. I remember there was a lot of social stigma attached to
that. I know I didn't want it. Whether or not it actually happened,
I'm not sure. But with reading there were different levels, and I'm
almost positive they assigned me to the poor reading group.
RANDAL: Eventually you went on toward a Ph.D., so probably
a ways into elementary school you became a better than average
reader. Would that be fair to say?
DANIEL: Probably.
RANDAL: And you said . you also may have been a little
dyslexic.
DANIEL: I'm not sure, but looking back at the difficulties ...
RANDAL: Even in physical education you didn't feel as
coordinated or skillful as the other kids?
DANIEL: Exactly. I don't know if this relates to it, but I was

chased home and beat up a lot. All the time. In terms of confidence
and self-esteem and self-image, I know it affected me.
RANDAL: You do remember that then. Are the memories
vague?
DANIEL: They're not clear like you'd have in a regression, but
I have definite memories of being chased and the terror of that,
with a whole gang after you. Bad period.
RANDAL: Was this the inner city?
DANIEL: Yes. Flint, Michigan. Auto town.
RANDAL: Uh huh. And did they sometimes catch you and
beat you up?
DANIEL: Sometimes. I became a very fast runner. (laughter)
RANDAL: Some of our fears can be reasonable, and they can
lead us to achievement in various ways.
DANIEL: I suspect I broke the four minute mile before the
athletes did.
RANDAL: How old were you during this period?
DANIEL: It was when I was in grade school, so it would be
before age 12. It went on for two or three years. It only happened
once after I got into junior high. I have no idea why. It was the last
day of school and I was on my way home the usual way. It was a
group of kids and I didn't know who they were.
RANDAL: Were you in a lower or lower middle class
neighborhood? (Daniel nods) You were probably lucky it only
happened once after the age of 12. These are all important pieces
of information. Is there anything else you can think of that might
be important or useful for me to know?
DANIEL: Nothing comes to mind at the moment. I think the
car accident was a pivotal point because allergies and things did
start at that time. I don' t remember anything about it, but when I
did see a hypnotherapist a few years ago she sent for the records of
what happened in the Emergency Room. Even though I had total
amnesia, I thought I was unconscious for a day and a half, she read
my records and it said that I was totally aware and cooperative.
When she read that to me I suddenly doubled over and grabbed my
legs. (Daniel demonstrates the position) I used to have reoccurring
nightmares where I'd find myself out of bed on the floor trying to
find the brakes. Someone else was driving the car and the brakes
went out and he went over an embankment. The car hit a huge
tree and caught on fire. I have no recollection consciously of any
of it.
RANDAL: What is it you do remember?
DANIEL: What I remembered was in a hypnotherapist' s office.
She thought that even though I said I was totally unconscious of
what happened, that it was a very significant event in my life.
RANDAL: Of course. Subconsciously you were aware of what
was going on. You might have tuned out at the impact, I don't
know. But during the initial phase of the accident while you were
still conscious, and perhaps even after that, there is something
that you may be able to delve into if necessary that is very deep
in there. Even if you don't consciously remember that now, that is
something that is in your subconscious and is having an affect. I
remember doing a lengthy series of ideomotor questions regarding
the accident during our session and not getting a completion, but
narrowing it down to various possibilities. There were some things
you'd had ever since, like allergies. Are you still dealing with those
allergies?
DANIEL: Yes.
RANDAL: And what was there besides allergies?
DANIEL: Well, it was the beginning of the problem of not being
able to concentrate and focus, clearly due to the allergies. Then I
became dysfunctional at the time of the divorce. I noticed allergies
starting after that without realizing they were even allergies. Like
falling asleep after Sunday dinner and things like that.
RANDAL: All right. You've come up with a lot of important
information. Is there anything else you can think of?
DANIEL: That's about it.
RANDAL: Are you ready for some hypnosis?
DANIEL: Yes.
RANDAL: Let's get this mat down here. (a mat is put on
the floor) Okay, Daniel, you can lay down and make yourself
comfortable. Where was the injury from the accident? Was it your
knee or your leg?
DANIEL: The right femur was shattered, left ankle and right
arm. Also a concussion.
RANDAL: And are you pretty much recovered from that?
DANIEL: Yes.
RANDAL: You don't have any major back or neck injuries?

(Randal is considering a directive style induction that may involve
sudden movements as a means of helping Daniel through his
resistance)
DANIEL: No.
RANDAL: · Okay. Take your glasses off, please. Are you
comfortable?
DANIEL: Uh huh.
RANDAL: Okay, Daniel, look up here at my finger. (Randal
holds his hand about two feet from Daniel's face and points to
his little finger) Take a deep breath, fill up your lungs, and exhale
as you stare at my finger. (Randal is beginning to move his hand
slowly towards Daniel's face) Take a second deep breath and
exhale. Relax now. (Randal's hand is in front of Daniel's eyes and
begins to move down toward his chest) Follow my finger down
until your eyelids close down. (Daniel's eyes close) Relax your eye
muscles completely. I'm going to count from three down to one.
At the count of one your eyelids are locked tightly closed. You can
try to open them at the count of one but the harder you try the
tighter they lock together and the deeper into hypnosis you go.
Three, stuck tightly. Two, sealing together. Number one, go ahead
and try but they're locked tightly together. (Daniel tries to open his
eyes) When I touch your right shoulder stop trying and go deeper.
(Randal puts his hand firmly on Daniel's shoulder)
I'm picking up your right hand by the thumb. I'd like you to
take a deep breath and fill up your lungs. As I drop your hand send
a wave of relaxation down your body and as it lands in my hand
you go much deeper. (Randal drops Daniel's hand and suddenly
yanks it forward as it lands in his other hand) Sleep! Just relax
and go deeper. Now I'm doing the same thing with your left hand.
I'm picking up your hand. When I drop it into mine feel yourself
go much deeper. (Randal drops Daniel's hand, then pulls quickly
again as it lands) Sleep! Way down.
As I push down on your shoulders feel yourself going much
deeper. Take a deep breath, fill up your lungs, and on the exhale
feel yourself go way down. (Randal repeatedly pushes down,
more and more firmly) Down, down, down. That's good. I'm
picking up your right foot. As I drop your foot send another wave
of relaxation down your body and go down much deeper. (Randal
drops the foot) Good. And your left foot. Way down as I drop your
foot on the exhale. (Randal drops the foot) Way down.
This time I'll count from three down to one. At the count of
one only your eyelids open. When your eyelids open I'll snap my
fingers and say the words "sleep now." The finger snap is a signal
for you to go much deeper. Much deeper than you are at this very
moment. Getting ready now, three, two, one, opening, opening,
opening. (Daniel's eyes open, Randal snaps his fingers ) Sleep now!
(Daniel's eyes close down) That's your signal. Whenever I snap my
fingers and say the words "sleep now" you close your eyes and go
much deeper. That's good. Again, three, two, one, opening, opening,
opening. (Daniel's eyes open and Randal snaps his fingers) Sleep
now! (Daniel' s eyes close down) One more time. Three, two, one,
opening, opening, opening. (Daniel's eyes open and Randal snaps
his finger) Sleep now! (Daniel's eyes close down)
Now I'm lifting up your arms. (Randal takes Daniel's hands
and lifts his arms toward the ceiling) You can hold your arms up
on your own. That's right. Facing your hands toward each other
(Randal adjusts Daniel's hands), I'm going to place an imaginary
magnet in the palms of both hands. (Randal places the imaginary
magnets and pulls Daniel's hands further towards the ceiling)
When I take my hands away your hands begin to close and move
in until they touch. When they touch you go much deeper. Imagine
a powerful magnet now. As I take my hands away feel your hands
moving in and closing, closing in and moving. Closing together,
coming together, closing and moving in. The closer your hands get
the more powerful this magnetic attraction becomes. That's right,
very good. Closing and moving in, moving and closing in. Getting
closer and closer together. Moving in and closing, closing in and
moving and when they touch you go much deeper. (as Daniel's
hands get close to touching Randal slaps them together between
his own and says simultaneously) Sleep! Way down.
Interlock your fingers and squeeze your palms together.
(Randal helps him to do this) Lock those elbows as though your
arms are one solid slab of steel. (Randal pulls Daniel's clasped
hands even further toward the ceiling, then firmly strokes his
arms once from his shoulders to his hands) Rigid at the elbows,
stuck together. (Randal begins speaking more rapidly) I'm going
to count from five to one. With each number that I count your
hands squeeze together more and more tightly. (Randal squeezes

Daniel's hands before he removes his hands from Daniel's) At the
count of one try to pull your hands apart. The more you try the
tighter they squeeze together and the deeper into hypnosis you go.
Five, four, three, stuck tightly. Two, one, go ahead and try to pull
your hands apart but they're stuck together. The harder you try
the tighter they clasp and the deeper into hypnosis you go until I
touch your hands. When I touch your hands you relax your hands
and arms rapidly and go much deeper. (Randal touches Daniel's
hands and his hands and arms drop limply) Much deeper, way
down. As I stroke each arm, Daniel, and each hand, take away
any sensation of tension. (Randal strokes down the arms to the
hands, then begins to rub his shoulders) And you're relaxing your
shoulders. As I rub your shoulders you are relaxing your arms and
your shoulders and going much deeper. Deeper with every easy
breath that you take.
I'm going to ask you a few questions to answer with your
fingers, Daniel. It might seem at times as if your conscious mind
is answering but your subconscious mind will help you to get the
correct answers here. (Randal is moving much more quickly than
usual with establishing ideomotor signals, including choosing
which hand Daniel will use as part of the directive style chosen to
help bypass resistance) I'd like to see which finger is your "yes"
finger. Go ahead and let that finger lift up on your right hand.
(Daniel's index finger rises) Your index finger is your "yes" finger.
(Randal taps the index finger) Now I'd like to see your "no" finger.
A certain finger on your right hand is your "no" finger. It could be
your thumb, middle finger or little finger. (Daniel's middle finger
rises) It's your middle finger. (Randal taps the middle finger)
Good.
Daniel, I want to focus on some issues you have in your life
that have to do with performance. Depending on your response to
my next ideomotor question, I may leave it wide open to work on
anything from your adulthood all the way back to the beginning
of your life. The question is, is it okay for you to remember any
and all memories that happened in your life around performance
anxiety? (Daniel's middle finger rises) All right, we're getting a no
response. From my understanding of your response, Daniel, that
means there is certain material that has to do with performance
anxiety that it is not appropriate for you to consciously remember.

This is a significant answer and I want to pursue this with a few
more questions.
Let's break this down into different periods of time. I would
like to look at your adult years, let's say from the age of 20 and
upward. From the age of. 20 and upward, Daniel, is it okay for
you to remember any and all memories that have to do with
performance anxiety? (Daniel's index finger rises) The answer is
yes. Okay, from the age of 13 to 19, is it appropriate for you to
remember any and all memories that have to do with performance
anxiety? (Daniel's index finger rises) The answer is yes. From the
age of 12 down to your birth, is it appropriate for you to remember
any and all memories having to do with performance anxiety?
(Daniel's middle finger rises) The answer is no. All right. That's
very clear. You're doing great.
I'm going to narrow it down a little bit further here to avoid
encouraging any memory that is not appropriate to recall. I
encourage your subconscious mind to block that memory also. If
something is not appropriate for you to recall, that's fine. You can
still work on something and do therapy without having a conscious
memory of it. So let's get a sense of this. Is there specifically only
one particular experience that your subconscious mind does
not want you to consciously remember? (Daniel's middle finger
rises) The answer is no. Then would it be correct to say that it is
a series of experiences along a particular theme or issue that your
subconscious mind does not want you to remember consciously?
(Daniel's index finger rises) The answer is yes. Okay. Did this
series of incidents have to do with something that happened in the
classroom at school? (Daniel's index finger rises) The answer is yes.
Is there something about this series of incidents that also happened
outside of the classroom? (Daniel's index finger rises) The answer
is yes. Did these experiences that your subconscious mind does
not want to remember have to do with different kinds of traumatic
experiences during your grade school years then? Would that be
correct? (Daniel's index finger rises) The answer is yes.
You mentioned earlier that there might have been some kind
of experience that happened when you were a child that may have
had to do with Christmas and some performance. Was there some
significant issue that happened at some kind of Christmas party
or show that was traumatic for you? (Daniel's index finger rises)
The answer is yes. Would that experience be something that would
be appropriate for you to consciously remember? (Daniel's index
finger rises) The answer is yes.
Now there were a series of things that happened when you
were in grade school, both in and out of the classroom, that your
subconscious mind does not want to bring forth. Besides these
particular experiences are there any other kinds of experiences
that your subconscious mind does not feel it is appropriate to
remember? (Daniel's middle finger rises) The answer is no. So that
is the only area to avoid bringing up conscious memories.
Okay, I'd like to honor that with you, Daniel. I want you to
know that all the way through this session, you are in control of
the situation. You are making the choices so that even as you let go
in this process, it is to help you get in control in your life. So as you
continue becoming more and more receptive to this process, this
is deep down becoming your subconscious motivation. It helps
you to know, Daniel, that we will only go through material that is
appropriate for you to recall. That helps you to let go and the more
you let go the more you get control of your life. (Daniel's index
finger rises) Your subconscious mind understands that.
I've talked about memory and now let's talk about your
emotional ass.ociations with memories. Is it appropriate for you
to be open to your emotions as you go back and recall specific
experiences that happened earlier in your life that had to do with
performance anxiety? (Daniel's index finger rises) The answer
is yes. Now the next question is regarding that area that is not
appropriate for you to consciously recall. Is it appropriate for you
to get in touch with the emotions that you tapped into around
those experiences without consciously recalling the experiences?
(Daniel's index finger rises) The answer is yes. That gives us a lot
of flexibility. We can work with your emotions around any incident
that has happened in your life even though we will steer away
from the conscious memory of that particular series of experiences
that we described.
Now I'll talk to the group for a moment, Daniel, and as I do you
just continue to go deeper. (to the group) This is an unusual type
of response but it is a very logical one. It's quite reasonable that
the subconscious mind chooses not to bring back certain difficult
memories. Nonetheless, it shows a great degree of cooperation

from Daniel's subconseious. Although it chooses not to recall these
memories, it is open to dealing with the emotions that developed.
All right, Daniel, going deeper with each breath that you take.
There seems to be some way that you have been holding yourself
back ever since those events 19 years ago. You said that you had
only been using perhaps three to five percent of your potential.
Whatever percentage it is, you have certainly been holding yourself
back since this particular combination of traumas happened. I'm
talking now to your subconscious mind, Daniel, as we go back,
helping your subconscious mind to be receptive and to know that
it's time to go back to this experience. You're ready for it. Your
subconscious mind has signaled your readiness to go back to that
experience to get it out of your life.
Your subconscious is helping you to allow yourself to feel your
emotions, to allow yourself to let go of that kind of control as a
means of getting control of yot,lr life. As a means of being able to
break through this part of you that has been limiting yourself so
severely. Breaking through and getting in touch with your feelings,
going with them, will help you to dissolve this barrier that you
have erected. That is what we're dealing with here. You mentioned
the anxiety you felt in just talking about your divorce 19 years ago.
You were a husband and a parent with four children. You went
through the very painful process of a separation and a divorce. You
felt as if your life had fallen apart. You took that exam and you just
couldn't get through it, and you dropped out of school and lost
your potential work. Your whole life changed at that point.
We're going to go back to that experience. As I count from one
to ten, Daniel, you'll get more in touch with the feeling that you
had, that overwhelming frustration and the anxiety you feel in just
recalling that period. Recalling the feeling that your life has fallen
apart. With each number that I count you're becoming more and
more aware of that feeling. Number one, two, three, feeling that
feeling in your body as you breath down into your stomach. Four,
five, six, stay with that feeling. Seven, eight, stay with that feeling
of despair, that feeling of helplessness. Number nine, on the next
number, like the floodgates of a dam, feeling that feeling really
beginning to course throughout your whole body. Number ten.
Now I'll count from ten down to one and as I count down, Daniel,
you go back to this set of experiences, this difficult time. Ten, nine,
eight, going quickly back in time. Seven, six, five, going back to the
time when your life seemed to fall apart. Four, three, two, on the
next number you're right there. Number one., Where are you now?
Are you inside or outside? You can speak and pick one.
DANIEL: Inside.
RANDAL: Is it nighttime or daytime?
DANIEL: Daytime.
RANDAL: Are you alone or with other people?
DANIEL: With others.
RANDAL: Are you inside a classroom or elsewhere?
DANIEL: Elsewhere.
RANDAL: Okay. Are you with your family or what is the
situation?
DANIEL: Attorney's office.
RANDAL: Is this regarding your divorce?
DANIEL: Yes. We had known the attorney, and my wife said
she wanted to just go down and talk with him and she didn't tell
me why.
RANDAL: She didn't tell you why? You mean she told you she
wanted a divorce in front of your attorney? This was the way she
first brought it up?
DANIEL: Yes.
RANDAL: Oh, no. (Randal sighs) Was she talking about
considering a divorce in the months previous to that?
DANIEL: I don't think so. I don't remember any.
RANDAL: So this came as a total shock to you?
DANIEL: Yes.
RANDAL: Had she obviously already talked to your
attorney?
DANIEL: She must have.
RANDAL: So how did that feel?
DANIEL: I went into a state of shock. I was just numb.
RANDAL: Do you recall now in re-experiencing this, whether
you felt the attorney seemed to be trying to work with both of you
or did the attorney appear to be taking her side? What did it feel
like to you at the time?
DANIEL: He acted as if since he was our friend that he was
working with the two of us, but he wasn't.
RANDAL: He acted as if he was working with the two of you

but in retrospect you can see that he was really working more for her?
DANIEL: I can see it very clearly.
RANDAL: Even at the time, in your shock, it seemed to be a
set up?
DANIEL: I didn't know it at the time.
RANDAL: Going back to that experience now it seems like he's
there to help you, but in reality he set things up in such a way that
was favorable to her and unfavorable to you. Is that correct?
DANIEL: It was devastating.
RANDAL: And this seems to have come clear out of the blue for
you, not that any of our relationships are ever perfect, or anything
like that.
DANIEL: I had no idea.
RANDAL: You had no idea that she felt that serious about
getting a divorce. Was this the first shock? Was there something
major that happened before this or does this seem to be where that
whole set of experiences at that time in your life started?
DANIEL: It started then. Well, there was the death of a brother
a couple of years earlier.
RANDAL: Was that something that was difficult for both of
you?
DANIEL: For me. She attacked me for not crying, for not
feeling, saying I was an unfeeling person.
RANDAL: Was that a major part of the difficulty? The way she
attacked you?
DANIEL: Yes. I was in a lot of pain over his death.
RANDAL: You were in a lot of pain and she didn't recognize
that. Did you try to explain to her that you really did feel pain even
though you weren't crying?
DANIEL: I think so. I don't remember.
RANDAL: So it was particularly difficult for you to be blamed
by her in that way. Let's focus on the divorce now. It was a real
shock to you, a blow that affected your whole life. When she said
that did you continue to live together for some time thereafter or
did one of you immediately move away?
DANIEL: I lived there for awhile.
RANDAL: Eventually were you the one to leave or did she
leave?
DANIEL: I left.
RANDAL: Did you attempt to talk with her, to try to talk her
out of the divorce?
DANIEL: I don't remember.
RANDAL: Do you have any recall, in going over the time
you were still living there, about whether she communicated her
feelings about the divorce to you at all?
DANIEL: I know she communicated that everything was my
fault.
RANDAL: I see. What's your ex-wife's name?
DANIEL: Helen.
RANDAL: Okay, Daniel. Put Helen in front of you now. Do
you remember anything at all about how you reacted with Helen
at the time?
DANIEL: I just remember that in the attorney's office I went
numb. I was in a state of shock. There were different things that
happened along the way before I moved out. She had other men
in. It was really hard.
RANDAL: She was having relationships with other men?
DANIEL: Oh yeah, and she had them into the house.
RANDAL: And how did you react to that? That she not only
was having relationships but actually had them in the house when
you were there?
DANIEL: It really hurt.
RANDAL: Did you communicate your hurt to her?
DANIEL: I don't remember. (Daniel's voice cracks with
emotions)
RANDAL: Stay with your feelings as I'm talking with you.
Breath down into your stomach. Would it be fair to say that you
were having difficulty in expressing your feelings to your wife?
DANIEL: Probably.
RANDAL: Would it be correct to say that you were trying to be
cooperative and that you probably compromised too much with
your wife in some ways? Does that fit or does that not fit?
DANIEL: I just don't remember the period.
RANDAL: You've been blocking it out.
DANIEL: I was just desperate. Where was I going to go? I
didn't have a job and no money. The court was saying ... (Daniel's
voice trails off)
RANDAL: (intending to intensify the recall and keep Daniel

focused on his feelings by summarizing the difficulties) You were
dealing with your fears, fear of the future, what would happen.
This was your family. Obviously there was a lot of stress even
before the divorce, the way she attacked you after your brother's
death. And then afterwards she had men coming into the house.
Let's start with your brother's death. You were traumatized both
by his death and her reaction to it, is that correct?
DANIEL: Uh huh.
RANDAL: How would you describe your feelings around
your brother's death? What did it feel like to you?
DANIEL: Sort of like disbelief, that it couldn't have
happened.
RANDAL: It was pretty sudden then?
DANIEL: It was a plane crash.
RANDAL: Was it right after it just happened that she attacked
you or was it some weeks later? Do you remember?
DANIEL: It was at the funeral. The funeral was on an island. It
was right after that.
RANDAL: What did she say?
DANIEL: What's wrong with you? Don't you feel anything?
RANDAL: Do you know how you responded to her?
DANIEL: I think I told her that I did feel. Just because I didn't
cry didn't mean I didn't feel things.
RANDAL: But she didn't believe you?
DANIEL: No.
RANDAL: If you could put Helen right here in front of you,
what would you say to her about this situation with your brother's
death?
DANIEL: Helen, I hurt more than you do inside because I grew
up with my brother and I love him very much. Just because I don't
express emotions the same way you do doesn't mean I don't hurt
as much.
RANDAL: That's very clear. Now be Helen. What does Helen
say in response to that?
DANIEL: I don't feel that you understand me and I'm really
angry at you. That's why I'm attacking you.
RANDAL: Switch and be you, Daniel. What do you say in
response to her?
DANIEL: I don't remember what I just said.

RANDAL: Helen said that she's feeling really angry at you and
that's where she's coming from. Are you blocking her out right
now? She 'responded to your feelings that you're different from her
by saying that she's angry with you. How do you feel about that?
DANIEL: What seems to be happening is what I do often. I
blank out. I'm blanking out right now. I heard the words you said
and I know I said something a minute ago but it's gone.
RANDAL: Uh huh. See your wife in front of you now. See
Helen here and accusing you of not caring about your brother.
Then you explain to her that you care very much about him and
she responds by feeling angry. Instead of blanking out, what do
you feel? Do you feel anything at all towards her when she feels
angry at you?
DANIEL: Scared.
RANDAL: Tell her that: "You scare me, Helen."
DANIEL: Helen, you scare me. (Daniel starts to cry)
RANDAL: Say that again.
DANIEL: (louder and crying) You scare me.
RANDAL: Again.
DANIEL: (shouts) You scare me!
RANDAL: All right, feel your feelings and feel scared. It's
okay to feel that feeling. Let that feeling move through your body.
You're doing fine. It's good that you can feel being scared. What
does Helen say in response to that?
DANIEL: I didn't know that.
RANDAL: Uh huh. You said something new to her. Do you
want to say anything else to him, Helen?
DANIEL: I thought you just didn't feel anything.
RANDAL: Okay, you're each making further communication
now. Switch and be Daniel. You heard what Helen just said.
She heard you. She didn't think you felt anything and now she
recognizes that you do. You've made some important contact
with her. Do you want to elaborate on that or do you want to say
something else?
DANIEL: When I feel scared I can't show my feelings. I can't
feel them.
RAND AL: Let's say when I feel scared I don't show my feelings.
That's a way for you to take responsibility.
DANIEL: When I feel scared I don't feel my feelings.

RANDAL: Switch. What does Helen say in response to that?
DANIEL: I'm blanking again.
RANDAL: Let's get back to this scared feeling. When you feel
scared you don't feel your feelings. Well, feeling scared is a kind of
feeling, isn't it?
DANIEL: Yes.
RANDAL: So maybe when you feel scared you don't feel other
kinds of feelings. Maybe part of what was happening there with
your wife was that she was scaring you and you were reacting to
that partly by blocking other kinds of feelings. Does that fit?
DANIEL: I didn't hear you.
RANDAL: Blanking out, huh? That's okay. Stay with this
process, Daniel. This is what this is about right now. It's okay that
you're blanking out.
DANIEL: Because it goes back further.
RANDAL: Let's get to the bottom of this. How far back does
this go?
DANIEL: I don't know.
RAND AL: Your subconscious mind knows. Talk to the part of you
that blanks things out. What do you want to say to that part of you?
DANIEL: I don't want you to run my life anymore.
RANDAL: Good. Say that again.
DANIEL: (sobbing) I don't want you to run my life anymore.
RANDAL: (pausing while Daniel continues sobbing) Feel your
sadness. You're doing fine. (in a very soft voice) I know how you
feel with that. I know it feels very scary.
DANIEL: It's been so long.
RANDAL: It's been so long. Say, "Stop running my life."
DANIEL: Stop running my life!
RANDAL: Say it again.
DANIEL: Stop running my life!
RANDAL: Good. Let yourself make some sound as you breathe
in. (Daniel breaks into loud sobs) That's good, get it out. Stay with
your feelings. That's part of your way out of this, Daniel. Just stay
with your feelings. You've been blocking yourself so much from
your feelings and you're breaking through that right now. You're
doing great. Okay, get in touch with your body and tell me what
you feel in your body.
DANIEL: Tightness around my head.

RANDAL: Say it this way, "I'm tightening my head."
DANIEL: I'm tightening my head.
RANDAL: Now take this pillow and tighten it in the same way
you' re tightening your head.
DANIEL: (Randal puts Daniel's hands on a pillow) Like this?
RANDAL: Whatever way fits for you. Take this pillow and
tighten it in whatever way you've been tightening your head.
Tighten it. (Daniel squeezes the pillow) As you're doing that say,
"I hate you!"
DANIEL: I hate you!
DANIEL: I hate you!
RANDAL: Who are you talking to right now?
RANDAL: Your subconscious mind knows who you're talking
to. Part of what you're talking to is this part of you that causes you
to blank out. So tell that part of you that causes you to blank out,
"I hate you!"
DANIEL: I hate you!
DANIEL: I hate you!
RANDAL: Squeeze it now. Tighten it. Say, "I'm going to
squeeze the life out of you!"
DANIEL: I'm going to squeeze the life out of you! You're killing
me! (breaking into sobs) You're killing me.
RANDAL: Tum it around now! Say, "I'm killing you! I'll kill
you! "
DANIEL: I'm killing you! I'll kill you!
RANDAL: Good. Now squeeze the life out of it. Squeeze
it! (Daniel is sobbing and making noises as he squeezes) Now
make more noises. (Randal makes exaggerated noises similar to
Daniel's and Daniel follows) Good. You need to be heard, Daniel.
It's part of what you need to do in your life. It's a matter of self-
expression. It's good to make that noise. You've been stifling and
killing yourself. Now you're reversing and releasing the energy
safely, without hurting anyone else or yourself. You're making
some great breakthroughs here, Daniel. Feeling your pain, feeling
your emotions, that's the answer- as well as the challenge. You're
moving through this. Now relax your arms and get in touch with
your body. (Randal helps Daniel unclutch the pillow, and his arms
drop limply to his sides) What are you feeling in your body right
now?
DANIEL: Tension through my shoulders. My eyes feel strange.
When I was doing that everything went black and they just locked
up somehow.
RANDAL: Okay, you blocked yourself up, you blackened your
vision.
DANIEL: Yeah, my vision went black and I went into a tunnel
or something where everything went black.
RANDAL: Uh huh. Do you feel like you're in a tunnel now or
just at the time?
DANIEL: More at the time. I'm more aware of other stuff now.
It's like everything got narrow and pulled in.
RANDAL: Okay, instead of pulling it in I want you to push it
out now. (Randal holds a large pillow in front of Daniel and helps
him put his hands against it) Push this out now. Push it away from
you and say, "I could kill you!"
DANIEL: I could kill you.
RANDAL: Say, "I'm killing you!"
DANIEL: I'm killing you!
RANDAL: Now push harder.
DANIEL: I want to kill you! (trying to push and breaking into
quick sobs) I can't... I can't... I can't. (sobbing)
RANDAL: I can! Push it away! (Randal pushes the pillow more
firmly toward Daniel) It's pushing down on you Daniel. (Daniel
sobs louder and louder but barely pushes back) Push it away!
DANIEL: I can't. (choking now and coughing)
RANDAL: This goes way back, Daniel. It goes way back.
Where are you?
RANDAL: Yes you do. Where are you? Where are you? It's a
long, long time ago.
DANIEL: Someone's trying to choke me or strangle me or
suffocate me. I don't know.
RANDAL: Okay. Finger signals. Is this specific memory
appropriate to get in touch with now? Whatever your fingers
respond, trust your fingers. The signal may come in a second, it
may come in a few seconds. This memory. As if someone is choking

you. Is this a memory to delve into now? (Daniel's index finger
rises and he begins to pant) Yes. Okay, stay with the feeling.
DANIEL: I don't think I wanted it to answer that way. (choking
and laughing)
RANDAL: The subconscious mind is coming around. That's
good. (Daniel continues choking and coughing) All right, choke
back, Daniel. Someone or something has been choking you. Choke
back. (Daniel grips the pillow hard) That's right, choke it. Say, "I
could kill you!"
DANIEL: I could kill you! I could kill you!
RANDAL: "I'm choking you!"
DANIEL: I'm choking you! I'm choking you! Leave me alone!
Leave me alone!
RANDAL: Make some sound as you do that!
DANIEL: Leave me alone! Leave me alone! (screams) Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it! (Daniel succeeds in pushing the pillow and Randal
away)
RANDAL: Good. (Daniel breathes deeply) Breathe down into
your stomach. You're doing very well. You're dealing with your
greatest fears and you' re hitting them head on. Stay with it. Let
any feeling come up that wants to come up. It needs to get out of
you. As you get your feelings out of you, Daniel, you stop blanking
out. You get clear. Your feelings are the road to your clarity. (Daniel
is breathing in deep gulps) That's right. Feel all those feelings in
your body. All those feelings that you've been holding back all
these years. That's good. Keep breathing now. Feel yourself going
deeper. Stay with the feelings in your body. Go inside, Daniel, and
tell me what you feel.
DANIEL: I'm feeling a headache.
RANDAL: Take responsibility. You're putting an ache in your
head. It sounds kind of funny. It's not the way we usually talk.
You're aching your head.
DANIEL: Okay, I'm making my head ache. (laughing)
RANDAL: What else do you feel?
DANIEL: Tension in my shoulders and neck.
RANDAL: You're tensing your shoulders and neck.
DANIEL: There is tightness in my stomach.
RANDAL: "I'm tightening my stomach."
DANIEL: I'm tightening my stomach.

RANDAL: Okay. You need to do some more tightening. Do
you have any sense of who or what is choking you?
DANIEL: There have been different times when I thought
perhaps my sister, who's about six years older than I was, tried to
suffocate me or something. I don't have any memory of it, I've just
speculated on it. She was pretty disturbed.
RANDAL: Okay, do something. Can you find a way with this
pillow to get more of that tightness out of you? You've been doing
some good work with it, but there has been so much for so many
years. You've got more to get out of you but you can also get rid of
it just like that. (Randal snaps his fingers) So take this person that's
choking you. How dare they! Choke that person back. Choke her
back, choke him back, whoever that is. Squeeze at the neck.
DANIEL: I think I need to push against it like we did before.
RANDAL: Good, that feels right.
DANIEL: I need to push them away.
RANDAL: (Randal holds the pillow in front of Daniel and
Daniel puts his hands against it) Okay, this person is trying to
choke you now.
DANIEL: Get away from me! Get away from me!
RANDAL: No!
DANIEL: Get away from me! Get away from me! Get away!
RANDAL: (Daniel heaves the pillow and Randal away) Good!
Get in touch with your body. That was much better, much better.
(Daniel is breathing heavily) Breathe down into your guts. Breathe
down into your genitals. What are you feeling in your body right
now?
DANIEL: I'm feeling stronger.
RANDAL: You're finding a way to your strength here. Good.
What else do you feel, specifically, in your body?
DANIEL: I feel light headed and my energy is buzzing all
over.
RANDAL: Good. Instead of feeling your head ache you're
feeling light headed and your energy is buzzing all over you. Feel
that buzzing quality, feel your aliveness right now, Daniel. You're
doing great. Keep breathing way down into your guts. Feel your
power. And come from that power and talk to that person that was
trying to choke you.
DANIEL: I'm not sure, but I'm going to assume it was my

sister, Martha.
RANDAL: Okay, you felt choked by her. Whether it was her
or not, or whether anyone literally choked you, her energy choked
you so it fits. Go with your intuition. Talk to Martha.
DANIEL: Martha, I know you're really scared having a little
brother. I didn't ask to come into this world and I didn't ask to be
in this family. You have to leave me alone. Don't you ever do that
to me again.
RANDAL: Good. Be Martha. What does she say?
DANIEL: I was getting all the attention and now you came
along and they don't pay any attention to me any more. Mommy
doesn't love me any more. Daddy doesn't love me. They don' t give
me any attention.
RANDAL: Uh huh. Be Daniel. When you're a child talking to
your sister, is your name Daniel or Danny or what?
DANIEL: Danny.
RANDAL: Okay, respond to your sister.
DANIEL: I'm sorry, but I'm just a baby. I can't help what they do.
RANDAL: Good, now what does she say?
DANIEL: I've got to have more attention or I'll die.
RANDAL: Now be Danny.
DANIEL: I'll share it with you if I can but I can't tell them what
to do. I'm just a baby.
RANDAL: What does your sister say? Have you gotten the
point across to her? ·
RANDAL: Well, if you don't know, then she might want to
choke you again. Better get real clear with her.
DANIEL: Martha, you leave me alone.
DANIEL: Martha, you leave me alone. I'm strong now and you
can't hurt me anymore. I can push you away.
RANDAL: Say, "Leave me alone!"
DANIEL: Leave me alone, Martha! I'll hurt you back if you try
that again.
RANDAL: Good, that's an appropriate warning. She tries to
choke you, you could choke right back. All right, you' re making
strong statements now. What does she say?
DANIEL: She says, "Okay, I'm scared of you."

RANDAL: She's scared of you now. Good. You've reversed it.
DANIEL: She was scared of me before.
RANDAL: Yes, but it's a different kind of scared. She respects
you now, doesn't she? Let her be scared now in that other way. She
should be. That was a terrible thing she did. It wasn't your fault.
You didn't deserve that. You're justified in your rage. There have
been many times in your life, Daniel, when you've been justified in
your rage and you held back before. You don't need to hold back
any more. There are appropriate ways to express your anger. And
sometimes you won't even sound angry. Sometimes it's a matter
of telling the truth. What you want, what you don't want. Look at
yourself and see yourself now with your power and see your big
sister then, but now she's just this little girl who's afraid of you and
respects you. Can you see that?
DANIEL: Yes.
RANDAL: Good. Get in touch with your body now. What do
you feel in your body?
DANIEL: I'm light-headed and I'm tingling all over. My energy
is vibrating.
RANDAL: Good. You're feeling your aliveness.
DANIEL: Like a good rebirthing session. Incidentally, I did a
rebirthing session and the first thing that came up was, "I can't,
I can't." It was similar to that feeling when I first pushed the pillow.
RANDAL: And now you're feeling that you not only can,
but you did. You're doing it. I know the feeling that can occur in
rebirthing sessions, that tingling all over, that electricity. That's a
feeling of aliveness. Only this is so much more special because on
top of that feeling of profound aliveness, your subconscious mind
is going through additional transformations. Your subconscious
mind is learning a great deal. And it's finding it's way through that
blankness, that way that you were holding yourself back. Give me
some examples of ways you can feel your power.
DANIEL: I can speak what I'm feeling.
RANDAL: Right. So say "I feel my power by... "
DANIEL: I feel my power by expressing what I'm feeling at
the moment.
RANDAL: That's very important. Come up with a couple more
examples or details. "I feel my power by... "
DANIEL: I feel my power by expressing my anger.

RANDAL: Right. There are many appropriate, constructive
ways to express your anger.
DANIEL: I feel my power by getting in touch with my fear.
RANDAL: Good. You recognize that it's good to get in touch
with your fear. As you stay with it you move through it and on to
other feelings. Anything else?
DANIEL: I feel my power by doing the things I fear.
RANDAL: That's true. By breaking through it. Like having
the guts to do this session and working through this. It's not
easy, in front of all these people. You know it's a good-hearted
and supportive group, but still it's difficult to open up and face
your catastrophic expectations in any group. You can feel yourself
grow as a result of that. Deep down your subconscious mind was
reaching out for help. You're feeling that help now. You deserve it.
You deserve to be all you can be. Talk to me about how from now
on in your life you're doing things more fully, more completely.
Give me some specifics about what you're doing with your life
from now on.
DANIEL: My pattern has been that when I commit to do
something like a workshop or a talk, I go through these horrible
fear responses on the days leading up to it and over prepare. I get
obsessive about knowing every aspect of it beforehand. So in the
future ...
RANDAL: Make it present rather than future. Say, "From now
on, whenever I give a workshop ... "
DANIEL: From now on when I give a workshop I know I can
do it because I know I can express myself easily and freely.
RANDAL: Very good. Trust that to work out. Trust your
intuition and your power and your knowledge to be there when
you need it.
DANIEL: Because I can remember now and I can express.
RANDAL: The way to your full self-expression is through what?
DANIEL: Recognizing the fear and letting it go.
RANDAL: That's definitely the answer in many cases and
there are other answers too - and you just said them. For example,
sometimes it means getting in touch with your anger. Sometimes it
means getting in touch with other feelings. Sometimes the fear will
lead you to these other feelings.
DANIEL: The fear is behind the anger. When I'm angry I'm
afraid and I don't know what I'm afraid of.
RANDAL: Just by expressing that, by feeling that, you can
either let go of the fear or you can get in touch with the anger
and find a constructive way to express it. You can pound a pillow
or stomp around the house or exercise. Or if there is someone
you are feeling angry towards you can confront that person. And
sometimes the anger will go away just by telling them the truth.
DANIEL: I know that.
RANDAL: Good. It's just a matter of expressing your needs
or desires or telling the truth if someone is bothering you in some
way. You are coming from this position of strength, this powerful
place. You completed things with your sister, now let's take a look
at your ex-wife. Is there anything further you have to say to your
ex-wife?
DANIEL: I love you very much, Helen. You know I didn't want
the divorce. I'm sorry things had to end that way. (Daniel sighs)
RANDAL: All right. What does Helen say in response to you?
I guess you' re talking to her now in the present.
DANIEL: She died two years ago in a violent car crash.
RANDAL: I see. What would her response be now? You can go
back two years ago or now, whichever fits.
DANIEL: Before I died I saw you grow and change as a person
and I regretted very much that we couldn't have that together.
RANDAL: That we didn't have that together.
DANIEL: That we didn't have that together.
RANDAL: That's Helen talking, right?
DANIEL: Uh huh, that' s a reality.
RANDAL: Did she actually say this to you or do you just know
it?
DANIEL: I know it. It was expressed in different ways.
RANDAL: Now be yourself again; Daniel. Respond to her.
DANIEL: Thank you for everything you taught me. You made
me question what spiritual life was about. That there was more to
me than I knew. I thank you very much for that gift. And I thank
you for the pain you caused me for that started me on my search
for what I am today. It couldn't have happened any other way.
RANDAL: Now be Helen. Is there anything further you want
to say to Daniel?
DANIEL: I love you and I understand.

RANDAL: Is there any more appreciation you have to give
him or does that feel complete now?
DANIEL: It's complete.
RANDAL: Okay, so say goodbye now to Daniel.
DANIEL: Goodbye. We'll meet again.
RANDAL: And Daniel, respond.
DANIEL: Goodbye, Helen. I love you. (sobs softly)
RANDAL: Feel that love. You have a whole wealth of feelings
that you can feel. You feel all the more alive and all the more aware
as you get in touch with your whole body and all your different
feelings. That's your key. You're getting into the habit now.
You've made some wonderful breakthroughs and it's going to be
an automatic process for you to tap into your passion and your
power and your energy. Every day you feel more powerful and
this becomes the natural way for you to live - tapping into your
feelings and expressing them. And you know that if you ever find
yourself blocking, you can just push that away. And sometimes
you can do it literally, just literally push it away.
DANIEL: I think that's where my unconsciousness comes
from. Maybe being suffocated or maybe passing out. I went
unconscious.
RANDAL: Yes, that could be. When you were feeling that fear
it may have reminded you of a major trauma, perhaps an imprint
that you used to have.
DANIEL: So when I feel scared I go unconscious.
RANDAL: Say, "When I felt scared I used to go unconscious."
DANIEL: When I felt scared I used to go unconscious.
RANDAL: Yes, because that's what happened before. First you
got scared and then you went unconscious. Now you don't need to
do that anymore. You recognize that. You're breaking a habit and
you're continuing to break it. Instead of going unconscious when
you get scared you can push it away. Is there anything that you'd
like to say or to ask before I bring you out of the hypnosis?
DANIEL: Thank you.
RANDAL: You're very welcome.
DANIEL: It feels complete.
RANDAL: Yes, it does. You've done a great job.
DANIEL: I felt a connection with you the first time I met you
at the International Hypnotherapy Conference. That's the reason I

came up in front of the group, that I had the courage to do that.
RANDAL: And I enjoyed working with you, too.
DANIEL: I still feel that connection.
RANDAL: I appreciate your acknowledgment and your
enthusiasm. And I appreciate the desire you had to work in your
first session and now to work through it, even though you thought
you were going to be resistant. I just knew you were going to break
through. We only had to create the environment for you and it
became natural.
You did a great job and you're going to continue to do a
great job. You're developing more and more self-expression
automatically. And sometimes you'll feel yourself withdraw. You
don't always have to be in touch with your feelings and it's fine for
you to occasionally withdraw. When you withdraw you can relax
your body and relax your mind. But now it's your choice, rather
than it having some power over you. You choose when to let your
mind relax, when to stop worrying or thinking or feeling. Just to
have some peace of mind. That's fine. Then when you decide to
move forward you move forward quickly, easily and efficiently,
using that other 95 percent of you. The rest of you is coming back
now. Good job. Feel that expansiveness in your stomach and your
chest. In a moment I'm going to count from one to five. With each
number I count you will become more and more alert, awake and
aware. Do you feel complete now?
DANIEL: This has been good because I felt sort of like a phony
being a hypnotherapist, in the sense that I take my clients, of
course, through things like this and yet I felt so walled off myself
from my emotions. I know it will change my work now because I
know more what they' re experiencing in terms of the narrowing of
sensory perception. I was in and out. This experience will change
a lot of things.
RANDAL: Great.
Commentary
Even before the session began Daniel communicated some
lack of confidence and significant negative expectancy. As the
session progressed there were clearly major unresolved traumas
and current struggles in this man's life. Here are some examples
of the many ways in which I worked to help overcome potential

resistance and to elicit subconscious cooperation from Daniel
regarding his clusters of unfinished business.
Right from the start, I met Daniel's doubts with confidence and
expectations of success, and strove, as always, to develop good
rapport. We had a thorough pre-induction interview in which I
periodically complemented Daniel, did some reframing, and
acknowledged some of his achievements as a means of increasing
rapport, confidence and mental expectancy.
The very directive style of induction and ideomotor methods
as a means of helping overcome resistance have previously been
mentioned, and the induction was especially thorough. The use
of the ideomotor signals assured Daniel's safety in confronting
issues of major fear, and also were valuable rapport builders to
show Daniel my concern and commitment to his safety. Note that
responding well to the directive style does not remove control.
An example is Daniel's ideomotor signal of his choice to not recall
selected events from his childhood.
Early in the therapy I further persisted to reduce resistance and
increase Daniel's mental expectancy and desire to cooperate by
emphasizing to him his control of the situation and of the potential
value of this work to lead to control of his life. Then the aside to
the group, acknowledging the intelligence and cooperation of
the subconscious responses to the ideomotor questions, further
developed rapport and confidence. Following that I did further
coaxing with Daniel, combining logic and a kind of a pep talk
to encourage him to rise to the task. Then the framework of
Gestalt provided many ways to work through resistance as it
arose.
I continued my take-charge attitude in helping Daniel work
through his blocking of feelings, memories and awareness. For
example, when Daniel said he didn't know where the traumatic
feelings came from, I told him he did know. That immediately led
to his realization of the consciously blocked trauma of having been
choked.
Daniel Writes 15 Years Later

This is the earliest session in this book. I called Daniel as the
book was being prepared for publication, and we had a wonderful
talk. I had not expected him to follow up with an email, but here
is a portion:
It was interesting that the day before your call I was remarking
that the only person/hypnotherapist that I trust and has the skills
to help me with some issues was you. Your work has been a model
of excellence that I endeavor to match in my teaching and practice.
And I am very thankful for the two times that you worked with
me. If I want more private work at some point it would certainly be
worth the travel all the way across the country to California.
CHAPTER 6
Rose's Pervading Sadness

The Tragic Attempted Escape
from Hungary
During the break of a workshop that Randal is teaching at

an International Hypnotherapy Conference, several audience
members offer to volunteer by handing him a brief written
summary of an issue they would like to work on. At the conclusion
of the break, Randal announces his choice.
RANDAL: Rose, come on up here. (Rose comes forward and

sits by Randal) Everyone, this is Rose.
ROSE: Good afternoon.
RANDAL: All of the summaries that were given to me were
important. It's never easy to narrow it down to one. (looking at the
summary from Rose in his hand) There is quite a lot of trauma here.
I'll read this part: "I feel an overall sadness and have a problem
staying grounded and in my body at times. I believe it has to do
with a time as a child in Hungary when I was imprisoned and
beaten. I watched others around me die then and again during the
1956 uprising." How old were you when this terrible experience
took place?
ROSE: I was four and a half. My parents tried to leave the coun-
try and that was against the law. My father tipped the gentleman
who was helping us get through the wetlands and he tipped him a
·little too early. The man got drunk and they figured out where we
were hiding. My two sisters, who were teenagers, and my parents

and I were all taken away. Both the Russian and Hungarian armies
were involved in that. I was put in what they referred to as the
nursery. One of my mother's fellow inmates found out about me
and she said, "Oh,.get her out of there. People are dying in there."
I've done a lot of self-work on this and I remember being
beaten but not exactly why or how. I do remember a room. The
woman who eventually got me out of that place later told me
that everything I said and remembered was exactly right. What
happened was that we would get one meal a day. We got a glass
full of food and if we missed it we didn't get another meal. I really
liked to eat even though I was a scrawny kid then. We were in a
room that was maybe ten feet by ten feet and there were eight of
us. The two little ones, one of them being me and the other a little
boy, got to sleep on the bed and the other children were on the
ground. This was in November in Hungary so there was snow and
ice and it was very cold.
RANDAL: And you remember this?
ROSE: Oh yes. I remember waking up in the morning, this was
only my second day there, and trying to wake up the boy next to
me. He was like a Popsicle. Riga mortis had set in and he was no
longer in his body. That was my first experience with death. At that
moment in time I didn't think much about it, but over the years I
realized that I've had a lot of experiences picking up the energy of
people who had died, including a family whose house was next to
ours where I was born. They had all died at once because when the
Americans were bombing Budapest one of the bombs hit this house
straight on. I only remember a piece of ground but my parents and
my sisters told me that a family used to live there.
I remember playing in the field where their house had been and
getting very upset because (Rose pauses and her voice becomes
shaky and emotional) there were children looking for their mother
but they were not in body. I remember being very sad and I said,
"Well, you can come with me. I have a mother." This happened
even before the imprisonment. So when the little boy died next to
me I felt him with me, too. So now I had all these kids from next
door and him with me. I was only there for ten days, but for that
ten days I had welts all over my body. I was put into scalding hot
water when they asked me to bathe. Then I got taken to the doctor
Rose's Pervading Sadness 81
and the doctor said, "Well, she probably won't live. I'll just do the
best I can." Well, I survived.
Then in 1956, when I was in fifth grade, some of my friends
died. There was an ammunition dump in our town and MiGs were
coming in and shooting at it and some of the kids were blown up.
I remember being in Budapest and watching this man cross the
street. His head got shot off by a machine gun. The head fell off but
his body kept moving across the street.
There are a lot of these memories and most of them have to
do with man's inhumanity to man. I mentioned I've done a lot of
self-work in the last year. My brother-in-law, who was a university
professor, said that he remembers me as a child. He says I was the
happiest little girl with the saddest eyes. He had these wonderful
paintings of me and I looked at them and said yeah, poor little
girl. (voice breaking and shaky) It's been very hard to shake the
sadness.
I've gotten over the little girl being in the position she was in
and yet there is something that keeps hanging on. When I see the
violence and what people do to each other, when I see people's
inappropriate behavior, it tends to bring it up. Because of that I
tend to live from here to here (gesturing from her heart to the top
of her head). I live from my heart upwards and everything that's
really grounded to the earth and the body and the violence and the
inhumanity, I just try to detach from it, I think. I don't do it all the
time but I do it enough of the time that it does cause problems.
RANDAL: Those are horrible experiences you had to go
through. How long after the experience at the age of four and a
half was the 1956 uprising?
ROSE: About six years.
RANDAL: Yes, you mentioned being in the fifth grade. So you
were ten or eleven?
ROSE: Eleven.
RANDAL: You talked about so many things. Did your family
members survive?
ROSE: Everyone survived and everyone left the country after
1956. By then my sisters were married, so they were off with their
spouses. My mother was in prison for a year and a half and my
father for two years. My sisters were in for eight months, so I was
with one of my father's cousins until they got out of prison. The
last of it was when I was in ninth grade. The law says you can't
execute children under 18 and some of my friends, who were just
then turning 18, were executed because they were caught being
part of the uprising. That sort of finished off that whole process of
what I had dealt with through my experiences in Hungary and the
revolution. So yes, the family was all alive.
RANDAL: And they all made it over here to the United
States?
ROSE: Yes.
RANDAL: You've given plenty of details. Is there anything
further you want to say before we do the hypnosis?
ROSE: I'm grateful for having all the trauma early in my life so
I can have a better time now. (laughing)
RANDAL: That's reframing! I think we can all learn from such
positive thinking. Bless you, Rose. You started out your note saying
you felt an overall sadness and have problems staying grounded
and in your body at times. We'll be neutral here so I will not be
looking for any particular experience. We'll go only where you
want to go in terms of your memories and feelings. Would you
come up here to this mattress on the table? (Rose comes up and
Randal helps her onto the mattress)
All right, see my three fingers in front of your face. Look at
the two outer fingers now as they rock back and forth in front of
your eyes. Follow them as they move closer and closer until your
eyelids close down. (Randal moves his fingers toward, then down
in front of Rose's face and her eyes close) That's good. Turn your
eyelids completely loose. I'm going to count from three down to
one. At the count of one your eyelids lock tightly closed and you'll
try to open them but you'll find that the harder you try the tighter
they lock together and the deeper into hypnosis you go. Three,
stuck tightly together. Two, sealing together. One, go ahead and
try to open them but they're stuck together. (Rose tries but her eyes
stay closed) That's good. Just relax, stop trying and go deeper.
Focus on your breathing. Let your breathing be slow and
steady, deep and continuous. As I lift up your left hand just let it
hang loosely and limply in my hand. As I wiggle it here just feel
your whole hand and arm relaxing completely. As I drop it and it
lands in my other hand send a wave of relaxation down your body
and go much deeper. (Randal drops her hand) I'm going to drop it
again, all the way down to the blanket this time, and you go much
deeper. (picks it up and drops it again) Now we'll do the same
thing with the right hand. As I lift up your right hand let it hang
loosely and limply in mine. As I drop it into my other hand you
send a wave of relaxation down your body and go much deeper.
(drops her hand) Good. I'm going to drop it this time to the blanket
and you go much deeper. (drops it again) That's fine.
Now I'll lift up your left foot. Let your foot hang loosely and
limply in my hand. When I drop it and your foot lands on the
blanket send a wave of relaxation down your body and go much
deeper. (drops her foot) Good. And your right foot. Take a nice,
deep breath. Feel yourself go much deeper as your foot drops.
(drops her foot) Very good, Rose. Going deeper and deeper.
This time I'm pulling down gently on your.left foot. Take a nice,
deep breath and fill up your lungs. On the exhale, as I pull down,
send a wave of relaxation down your body and feel yourself go
much deeper. (pulls down as she exhales) Take a nice deep breath
and on the exhale I'll pull down on the other foot. (pulls down
again as she exhales) Send another wave of relaxation down your
body and go much deeper. Very good.
Now I'm going to lift up your left hand and I'd like you to
squeeze your left index and middle finger together as if I've just
put some epoxy glue there. That glue is hardening, hardening,
hardening as I count from five down to one. At the count of one you
then try to pull your fingers apart. You'll find that the harder you
try the tighter they squeeze together and the deeper into hypnosis
you go. Five, four, just feel them squeezing tightly together. Three,
two, on the next number the harder you try the tighter they
squeeze together and the deeper into hypnosis you go. Number
one, go ahead and try but they're stuck together until I snap my
fingers. When I snap my fingers that glue instantly dissolves, the
fingers separate and you go much deeper. Three, two, one. (snap,
and Rose's fingers separate) That's good. Just relax now and go
much deeper. Taking away any sensation of the glue as I stroke
your fingers. As I drop your hand you go much deeper.
I'm going to push down on your shoulders, Rose. Take a nice
deep breath and fill up your lungs. On the exhale send a wave of
relaxation down your body (pushing down on shoulders) and go
much deeper. That's very good.
Focus your attention on your right hand now. We're going to

establish finger signals. I'd like you to think, hear and see the word
"yes." Keep seeing the word "yes" until a certain finger on your
right hand begins to lift and to rise. (Rose's index finger lifts) It's
your index finger. Thank you. I'm tapping that finger now. That's
your "yes" finger.
Now think, hear, see the word "no" in your mind until a certain
finger begins to lift up. (Rose's middle finger lifts) That's your
middle finger. I'm tapping that finger. This is your "no" finger.
Now these questions are all meant for your subconscious
mind. If even your subconscious mind doesn't know the answer
then that could be an "I don't know" response. Imagine a gray
question mark in your mind. Think of the words "I don't know"
until a certain finger lifts up. {Rose's thumb lifts) We're getting that
response with the thumb of your right hand. I'm tapping that now.
That's good. If there is a question I ask you that you don't know
how to properly answer with yes or no, then you could use your
little finger to answer that. (taps the little finger)
Here are a couple of practice questions. Are we currently in
Kansas City? (Rose's middle finger moves) I saw your "no" finger.
That's correct of course. Is this city known as the city of Glendale?
(Rose's index finger moves) And the answer is yes. Okay.
Rose, you've just described some experiences that were
extremely difficult for you. I'll help you work with those
experiences. You described feeling an overall sadness and having
problems staying grounded and in your body at times. I'd like
to focus on the sadness that you sometimes feel. Stay with your
feelings, but I also want your subconscious mind to answer this. Is
it safe and appropriate for you to be open to any and all memories
having to do with your feelings of sadness? I'm not looking for a
particular answer. (Rose's index finger moves) The answer is yes.
Thank you.
In going back to recall any and all memories that have to do
with your sadness, is it safe and appropriate for you to be open to
your emotions? (Rose's thumb moves) The answer to the question
is "I don't know." Now that came rather quickly, and usually an
"I don't know" from the subconscious takes a little while. "I don't
know" may be the corred answer from your subconscious mind.
I'm just trying to understand how to best serve you with this, Rose.
At this point I'm helping you to go back to some memories that

could be very unpleasant that have to do with your sadness. While
recalling these memories, is it safe and appropriate for you to be
open to your emotions? Any answer, including the one you just
gave, is good. (Rose's index finger is moving) Your finger has been
moving for awhile now. The answer to the question is yes.
I want you to be in your body right now. Feel your body. This
is about staying in your body this time. (to the group) Put your
grounding cords down. This could go in any direction. It may be
very emotional and it may not be very outwardly emotional. We all
need to have our own inner protection and space, whatever that means.
For you, Rose, I'm not going to do specific grounding techniques
right now because that might help you avoid feeling difficult
feelings. I do want to let you know that you have tremendous
support around you. Not only me and the group here, but I think
you know what I mean. You're a very spiritual person, Rose, and
you know that you have a lot of support. Whatever dreadful places
you have to go you'll make it through so you can let go of this stuff.
You're going to do fine. Right now we need to go there and then
we can transform it and return.
Stay with your feelings. Stay with your sadness. I'm going to
count from one to ten. With each number that I count you become
more and more aware of your feeling of sadness. (Rose's face begins
to contort and her breathing rate is increasing) Feeling it already.
Feeling it strongly. Number one, two, three, coming up quickly.
(tears are falling and Rose is softly sobbing) Stay with your feeling
of sadness. It's okay to cry. It's good to cry. Four, five, six, stay with
your sadness. (now sobbing and beginning to dry heave) Seven,
eight, nine. (to the assistant) If we have a wastebasket in the back,
please bring it up in case we need it. Number ten.
I'll quickly count from ten down to one, as you go back in time.
(a basket is brought up) Going back to an earlier time in your life
when you felt that sadness. (Rose is choking now and Randal holds
the wastebasket close to her) Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, going back
in time. (Rose begins to bring her hands and arms to her face and
chest) Five, four, three, two, one. That's okay, you can cover your
face and your chest. It's good to cry. You're doing fine. Stay with
it. I know this feels awful but you're going to get through it fine.
Where you are now? Are you inside or outside? You can say.
ROSE: (crying and choking the word out softly) Inside.

RANDAL: Is it nighttime C?r daytime?
ROSE: (gasping) Daytime.
RANDAL: Your age now. Are you under ten years-old?
ROSE: Yes.
RANDAL: Under five? Yes or no. (nods her head) About how
old are you now?
ROSE: (barely getting the words out) Almost five.
RANDAL: You're inside, you're almost five and it's daytime.
Are there other people with you? (Rose nods) Are the others your
age or older?
ROSE: Two older. (starting to panic) Ahhhhh!
RANDAL: What's happening?
ROSE: We're ... walking ... down the hall ... (breaking into sobs)
They're in uniform. (whispering) They're the ones. They come and
get you.
RANDAL: Who are they getting now?
ROSE: Me! They're getting me!
RANDAL: Are they taking you somewhere?
ROSE: (sobbing) We're in the room. Ohhhhh, it's all bloody.
(sobbing)
RANDAL: It's good to cry. You're getting that out of your
system. Stay with it. I know this is horrendous. Purge yourself
of this. It doesn't belong with you anymore. You' re doing great. I
have a question for your fingers now. This is for your subconscious
mind. Is there something further that is important to see in this
scene? (Rose's index finger moves) The answer is yes. Okay, going
to what you need to see now. Five, four, three, two, one. Go there
now. Take a look. (Rose is sobbing) Do you want to say something
about that? You can talk.
ROSE: They take me in the room.
RANDAL: What happens in the room, Rose?
ROSE: They hit you a lot ... a lot... and it hurts. (sobbing)
RANDAL: Finger signals. Is there anything more here that is
important to become aware of? (Rose's index finger moves) The
answer is yes. There is something more that you need to know
about, according to your fingers. I'll count from five down to one
and at the count of one you' re going to go to something further
in this experience. Terrible things have been happening. They've
been beating you and hurting you a lot. Five, four, three, two, one.
What's happening now?
ROSE: (becoming very still) They're hitting me but I'm not
crying.
RANDAL: You're not crying now?
ROSE: No. Oh no.
RANDAL: Your attitude seems to have shifted. Why are you
not crying? What's that about?
ROSE: They want me to cry and I won't.
RANDAL: How are you able to do this? How are you able to
take this despicable beating from these people and not cry?
ROSE: Just pretend you don't feel it.
RANDAL: Does it help you in this situation to pretend that
you don't feel it?
ROSE: Yes.
RAND AL: All right. I'm noticing that your hands are squeezing.
Just let them squeeze. That's okay. I want to congratulate you
because you are not even five years-old and in an appalling
experience, you found a way to make it less horrible for you. You
made yourself able to some degree to not feel. That's what you're
doing now, right?
ROSE: Yes. It doesn't hurt as much and they can't get what
they want.
RANDAL: It seemed like there was absolutely nothing you
could do and yet you found a way to handle this experience so you
didn't hurt as much and they didn't get what they wanted. Is there
anything further that you need to see or become aware of about
this experience? I'm asking your finger signals. (Rose's thumb
makes a slight motion and then her middle finger moves) At first
there was a quiver of your "I don't know" finger and then your
"no" finger gave a distinct movement. Thank you. Let's get away
from that experience. Focus on your breathing. Breathe down into
your belly. (pause) What do you feel in your body right now? You
can go ahead and talk. .
ROSE: I feel really warm. My hands are warm and the top part
of my body. It's tingling. My feet are cold. And there's like ... I feel
like I'm shivering but I'm hot.
RANDAL: Are you aware of your whole body? (Rose nods)
That's good. Feel yourself being completely in your body. Breathing
down into your belly. I'm going to count from one to ten and as I
count you come all the way forward to your full mature adult self
in the present. You can keep access to what you need to know about
what happened in that memory, but in a detached way now. You'll
stay in hypnosis. Number one, two, three, corning forward in time.
Four, five, six, corning all the way forward in time. Seven, eight,
nine, all the way forward to Glendale in the present. Number ten.
I would like you to look back at that experience. You know
the issue you have about feeling an overall sadness and having a
problem staying grounded and in your body at times. Notice how
you responded to what happened then. When you're ready to say
something about that, you can signal with your "yes" finger. Take
some time now and study that experience with your adult rational
mind. Look at the terrible experiences of that girl and how she
dealt with them and how that relates to the sadness and not always
being grounded in your body. When you get a realization about
that then signal with your "yes" finger. (after a pause Rose's index
finger moves) All right, what do you want to say?
ROSE: It was like I had to hold back my feelings to survive the
situation.
RANDAL: Absolutely.
ROSE: But when I look back now and I see those grown people
and what they did to me it's really much more sad about them than
about the little girl and what they did to her. I think that's what
bothers me even more now. What condition were those adults in to
inflict that on someone? It's just... I don't know what to do about it.
RANDAL: Let's bring them here. Were there two adults
there?
ROSE: There were more.
RANDAL: Bring one of them. Maybe the one who was in
particular doing the beating. If you could bring that person here
now what would you say to that person?
ROSE: (crying) Why? Why? What made you do something like
this to so many children? It's not right!
RANDAL: Now what does this other person say? I'm not
going to have you be the other person like in traditional Gestalt. I
just want you to listen. What does he say in response?
ROSE: He'~ just standing there. (sobbing) He looks sad too.
RANDAL: What are you feeling in your body right now?
ROSE: Like I could throw up. I don't have to but that's what it
feels like.
RANDAL: I notice you're holding your stomach. Can you
describe that feeling?
ROSE: It's like a swirling or a tide pool. It's muddy.
RANDAL: Make that kind of a motion with your hands or
arms. (Rose makes movements) So you're moving your hands in
a circular motion above your stomach. (now her left hand begins
digging into her stomach) What are you doing with your left hand?
Become aware of that.
ROSE: (crying) It's like I want to take out a piece of something
from there.
RANDAL: How can you get this out of you? Can you reach in
there and take it out of your stomach? (Rose nods) Go ahead and
do that now. Get that out of you. (sobbing and choking, Rose turns
sideways and begins to gag and Randal holds the wastebasket
near her face) You can use this wastebasket. Do whatever you need
to do. (he pauses, while she continues to sob and gag) Typically
when we have painful feelings we try to get away from them, but
in Gestalt and some other forms of therapy we stay with them. So
stay with your feelings. I know it's a very uncomfortable feeling.
Do you want to sit up? (Randal helps Rose sit up and she begins
leaning over the basket, choking and spitting up, then begins to sob)
Get that stuff out of you. It's so good to get that out. You're
getting those feelings out of you. (Rose is sobbing loudly) Feel
what you feel. Feel that feeling in your stomach. (she is mostly
dry heaving, but also vomiting) That's good. You can wipe your
mouth. (handing her a tissue) Stay with your feelings this time.
You couldn't stay with your feelings then and it was good that
you didn't. But now you can handle it, as terrible as it is. (Rose
continues leaning her head into the wastebasket, with a mixture
of dry heaving, vomiting and sobbing loudly) You can handle it so
you can release it. That's what you're doing. You're doing great.
(pause) What do you feel in your body and your stomach right
now?
ROSE: Like something brown ... something ugly... something
coming up.
RANDAL: Let it keep comihg up. Even if it isn't necessarily
physical, imagine opening up your mouth and letting it all out.
Just visualize that. Getting it all out. That's good. (her mouth is
wide open and she is choking and spitting up) Getting that stuff
out of you. You've been carrying it around for a long time. You can
relieve yourself of that. You don't need to carry it around any more.
It's time to let go. Here's some more tissue. That's so good to get it
out. Stay in touch with your body. How are you feeling now?
ROSE: Pretty good.
RANDAL: Are you settling down? (nodding and burping) Stay
with it. You're doing fine. There are lots of ways to get it out like
burping it up as you're doing now. Maybe that's residual. There
may be more but maybe you're just finishing up. Stay with your
experience. How are you feeling?
ROSE: Tired.
RANDAL: Do you want to lie down again? (Rose nods and
Randal helps her lie back down) What do you feel in your body
right now? (to the audience) One of the things you always do in
Gestalt is help a person become or stay aware. Everything is an
awareness process.
ROSE: It feels more balanced.
RANDAL: How does your stomach feel? Are you feeling some
of that but much less or what?
ROSE: I feel hungry.
RANDAL: You've gotten lots of stuff out. Would you like a sip
of water? (nods) Let me help you up. (Randal wipes her mouth
with a tissue and gives Rose the glass) Take your time. Is that
good? (nods and sips more) Go ahead. You really let go of a lot.
(Rose lies back down) What do you feel right now? Be aware of
going inward. What do you feel physically and I or emotionally
right now?
ROSE: Relief.
RANDAL: That's good. Is there anything further you want to
say to that man you talked to earlier? (Rose's middle finger moves)
I'm seeing your "no" finger. Thank you. There are wounded people
in the world. You've taken a look at that and seen his own sadness.
You've said what you needed to and thrown up your feelings.
You've gotten it out of your system. Now you can say goodbye.and
let him go. (Rose's index finger has been moving up and down)
I'm catching yes signals and I wasn't even looking for them. Good.
Let go of that.
You said some very important things when I asked you to

describe your experience. You felt the sadness toward that person
who would do such a thing. There is so much that you can see
from that experience. A lot of realization as to what you did, as
you pointed out, to survive. That was something you learned to
do under excruciating circumstances. The doctor there said you
probably wouldn't make it, but you made it. You're a survivor.
(Rose's index finger moves) You're signaling yes. Good. Yes, you
are.
(putting his hand on Rose's shoulder) I want to tell you that
you are very inspiring to me. I'm sure I can say that for a lot of
people in this room. To be the wonderful, beautiful, loving, caring
person that you are after having been treated so badly. You came
through with your soul intact and even strengthened. You found
a way to not only survive but to be the wonderful person that you
are today. You're an inspiration to all of us.
Rose, you can be aware of what you learned to do then. How
you learned to escape your body and how difficult it was to
stay grounded. You went out of your body to help you survive
unspeakable experiences. (Rose's index finger moves) You're
signaling yes. Thank you. That was then and this is now. Now
you've seen and expunged that and gotten those feelings out of
your system. You're in a whole new world, a far different place,
a far different time. Even the world that you left behind is far
different now. There is a lot of healing going on in a lot of places,
including within.
Now that you're here in an incredibly different life as an adult,
do you need to continue to go out of your body like you learned to
do to survive back when you were a little child? (Rose's little finger
moves) The little finger is signaling so there is something other
than yes or no. Is your conscious mind aware of an answer about
what I just asked? (Rose's middle finger moves) The answer is no.
Okay. Let me ask this. Is it appropriate for you, in the vast majority
of experiences in your life currently, to stay in your body? (Rose's
index finger moves) The answer to the question is yes.
Now about your sadness. You've faced this person for the
first time and you've seen his sadness. You know that that person
had to be suffering terribly to do such a thing. He had to be quite
a wounded soul. You've seen what you needed to see. (Rose's
index finger moves) I'm getting your yes signal, thank you. You
didn't need to see anything more. (Rose's middle finger moves)
The answer is no. If I'm understanding correctly, that means that
is correct, you didn't need to see anything more. (Rose's index
finger moves) The answer is yes. So now that you've done all of
this and seen all of this, you're really clear. In some ways you knew
about this but you know it a lot deeper now. Your conscious and
subconscious know and understand what happened. You've gone
to that hell and back and let go of it.
Now that you put all of it together in that way and connected
with the child that had to do that, are you ready now to let go of
the sadness that you've been holding onto? (Rose's index finger
moves and her thumb quivers) Okay, I'm getting an ongoing yes
signal and an occasional I don't know signal. Let's see if I can
ask a similar question that you can more easily answer. There are
times, Rose, when all of us need to feel sad. Sad things happen.
What I'm concerned about here is your presenting problem of an
overall sadness, an ongoing kind of sadness. What I'm asking is,
are you ready to let go of that ongoing sadness that was lingering
and staying with you so much? (Rose's index finger moves) The
answer is yes. Hallelujah! Have you seen all that you need to see
and did you go where you needed to go so that you can now do
that? (Rose's index finger moves) And the answer is yes. You're
doing great. Let's move on now to some positive suggestions to
further help you.
It's hard to grasp how and why it's so powerful to do what
you've just done. To revivify the experience with everything you
know as an adult, to purge yourself of that experience, to literally
throw up your feelings, to communicate with and confront this
person, to dare to do all of that and so much more, is so powerful.
You can see crystal clear and feel to your core, those experiences
that you already knew about consciously and subconsciously. But
to re-experience that, to go back and make any communication
that needed to be made, to release those feelings that you've been
holding all these years, all of this is incredibly liberating for you,
Rose. (Rose's index finger has been repeatedly moving forcefully)
We're getting very strong yes signals here. I love it when that
happens. I'm not even asking a question and the fingers are
signaling.
Rose, you have a wonderful, blessed life ahead of you. What

you said about having gone through all of these terrible experiences
early in your life so you could get it done and out of the way was
so inspirational. Yet you were still carrying some of that with you
and you don't need to do that any more. You recognize that. You
can be free. (Rose is signaling yes and nodding her head) I'm
even seeing the nodding of your head. You are free. Yes. Difficult
experiences can make or break us and you have found a way to
survive and strengthen yourself as a result of those experiences,
and now you're taking it that much further.
There are horrible things in the world that we can never
comprehend. What we can comprehend is that we can do our best
to change the things we can change, to accept the things that we
cannot change, and to have the wisdom to know the difference. It's
not your job to make the world perfect. No one can do that. You can
be the good person you are, live your life deserving abundance,
deserving your television show to succeed and to be booked up
six months in advance. (Rose produces a television show that
interviews individuals who provide healing work) You can give
transforming sessions as a hypnotherapist yourself, you can have
your life going great and have wonderful loving relationships. You
deserve all of that. (Rose's index finger has been moving) Thank
you for your yes signals. I see that.
You are very inspiring. To know what you went through, the
unspeakable things, and how much you had already transcended.
You have a long, wonderful journey ahead of you. You've just
made a quantum leap. You're going to experience a lightness from
all of this stuff you just shed. All that you've just let go and relieved
yourself of. You' re free. (Rose's index finger moves) I'm getting a
yes signal. (Rose's index finger moves again) Yes! I see it again. Yes!
Good! You deserve only the best. Your subconscious mind is healing.
(now whispering) That child within you, she didn't deserve
any of that. She was a good girl. She's learning that now. (speaking
normally) I'm giving you this pillow and we're going to do a little
transformative work. This pillow is going to symbolize your inner
child. I'll put her on top of you. You don't have to say anything to
her, just show her you love her. (Randal guides Rose's arms around
the pillow) You've already been doing a lot of things, I know, to
love your inner child and she's going to get a lot more love now.
She deserves a whole lot of love. There is so much coming her way.
The world has a lot of making up to do and one way you can help is
by loving that girl unconditionally. You can completely appreciate
this miraculous and beautiful girl.
Now switch and be that girl. (Randal taps her shoulder) Rose
is the pillow and you're the girl. Feel Rose loving you. Be that little
girl and feel all that love. Wide open. Take all of that love that is
there for you. Feel tremendous love in the world. You deserve it
all. Let it in. That stuff from another lifetime is gone and it's never
coming back for you. You're continuing to heal and the trauma is
continuing to subside and fade. In the days and weeks and months
ahead you're continuing to feel more and more joyful and free.
Feeling all of the abundance that is here for you.
(whispering) Are you ready to relax your arms down? (Randal
takes the pillow and speaks normally) Very good. There is also a
wisdom within you. There are great inspiring leaders in the world
who have seen such terrible things and yet have found ways to
be of service. Spiritual leaders like Ghandi or Mother Teresa and
community and political leaders. Vaclav Havel, for example,
the very inspiring leader of the velvet revolution in the former
Czechoslovakia who went on to become leader of his country.
Many people who have experienced and seen such tragedy, and in
some cases were imprisoned, devoted their lives to service. Many
great people found ways to rise above it by being a force for good
in the world.
We can't always understand inhumanity but we can let go of
that which we don't need to keep and that's what you are doing.
Letting go of all that stuff that wasn't yours. It never was yours.
You're realizing that now completely for the first time. You may
have intellectually understood it before, but now your deep
subconscious mind recognizes that none of that was your fault.
You deserve all the good that is coming your way.
Is there anything further you'd like to say or to ask before I
bring you out of the hypnosis? You can answer with your fingers.
(Rose's middle finger moves) Okay, the answer is no.
Go inside your body. Is your body feeling fine? (Rose signals
yes) Very good. I'll be bringing you up in a minute. There is a
tremendous healing that is beginning to occur from this experience,
including in ways you may not even expect. Ways of being in the
world and relating to the world. Wonderful experiences are coming

your way. There is tremendous love out there. You've already seen
a lot of it and there'll be a whole lot more in this new world.
All right, number one, slowly, calmly and easily begin returning
to your full conscious awareness once again. Number two, feeling
more and more alert, awake and aware with each number that I
count. Number three, taking your time and coming back. Feeling
yourself returning to your full conscious awareness but with a
clearer way of being in the world. Number four, getting ready
to open your eyes. On the next number fully awake and aware,
number five. Coming back and opening your eyes when you're
ready. (Rose's eyes flutter open) Take a deep breath and you can
stretch if you want. Take your time. ·
ROSE: (whispering) Did I throw up?
RANDAL: Yes, you did. In various ways, including literally.
(as Rose sits up the group applauds)
ROSE: At one point I felt like I was floating. I was aware of my
body but I felt like I was a couple of inches above and there was
all this light.
RANDAL: Was that during the memory?
ROSE: After I saw the room where they did the beating. That
was 50 some years ago and this was the first time ever, with anybody
I've ever worked with, that I ever got into the inside of that room.
Until now I hadn't seen the inside of that room since I left it. It was
very traumatic to feel the soldiers in there. I hadn't remembered
that. I remembered the corridor and some of the other rooms but
not that particular room. I just remembered the door and I could
never get past that, but this time I walked in with the two who
would escort you in there. That was interesting.
RANDAL: That's good to go there and let go of that. There is
nothing more that you need to say. You've just gone through a lot.
Are you feeling reasonably well in your body now?
ROSE: I'm feeling really good actually. I feel a little shaky. I'm
not sure why. I don't feel cold. I don't know, kind of like when
you exert yourself, that kind of weakness. There's something gone
from my body. Some of what just happened is coming back.
RANDAL: Memories are coming back now?
ROSE: Well, yes, from what we just did. I wasn't really
conscious about all of it but now I remember there was stuff
coming up and that's why I asked if I was throwing up. It was this
greenish-brownish stuff being pulled out from inside of me. Now
I feel lighter.
RANDAL: And you look lighter too. You look very clear. Is
there anything else that you want to say?
ROSE: I just want to thank everybody for supporting me and
for holding this space. (tears are coming and the group applauds
again) Thank you very much.
RANDAL: Thank you, Rose. You truly are an inspiration. (to
the class) Sometimes when there is a series of traumas I may want
to regress to a few of them, but in this case I didn't want to go
to any more than we needed to. I kept coming back to ideomotor
questions. I was trying to fight back tears myself in asking some
questions like, "Do you need to become aware of any more from
this experience?" and (looking at Rose) hoping that you would be
ready to signal no. Of course I wanted you to do what you needed
to do and you signaled yes for needing to see more several times.
Once you got away from there I asked if that was enough and you
validated that you had seen all that you needed to. For thctse of
you who have not been incorporating ideomotor questioning into
regression, it can really help in so many ways. Very often people
are not aware of something consciously but those fingers can signal
that something very important is there in the subconscious and
help to direct us where to go. It was great to have all of you here.
Thank you.
Note: Journaling can be a valuable tool and effective atljund to

therapy. Rose kept a journal. Here are some highlights in the few
weeks after her session, beginning that evening.
Rose's Journaling Notes
Friday, April 27
Recounting the session, memories came back about holding
my stomach - although I did not recall what the left hand was
doing. After some movement of that hand it felt as if a plug or
cork was released, but rather than the golden effervescent bubbles
as in champagne, something of an ugly green-brown color with
texture of melted cheese was being drawn out of me. I felt I was
choking from this long, thick substance unfolding from the bottom
of my stomach and being released - no, being ejected, from my
body. Then came the tears, the coughing, the vomiting, the anger,
the sadness, the release, the letting go and being okay with not
comprehending, although understanding about the terrible life
these uniformed guards must have had to end up behaving in such
an inhumane manner toward this child.
Saturday, April 28
After yoga asanas and meditation some bubbles snuck up with
a few burps and then the feeling subsided. Again, taking a rest by
the poolside in the afternoon, I started to cough. There was more
clearing and cleansing of the passageway from which the ugly
green-brown "stuff" was forced out.
I found all my senses to be hyper-vigilant - every sound, every
picture, every color, seemed louder, brighter, more glaring. I was in
sensory overload, as if my senses had been locked away for a long
time and just awakened.
At night my dreams seemed more frequent and left me
with impressions of both good and bad, goodness and evil. It
seemed that my mind had to clear past events as part of my
cleansing.
Thursday, May 3
Seem to be going slower than usual. Getting the work done, but
seem to be distracted, almost out of body, part of the time. Made all
the meetings and responded to most of the phone calls and emails
since I got back, but the brain seems to be moving in slow motion.
Memories of the past and the future, the regression session with
Randal, seem to be taking precedence over other thoughts and
actions. I feel tired; my eyes feel really tired.
Tuesday, May 8
My dreams are getting more veiled - softer and gentler. I don't
remember them but the impressions they leave are warm and
reassuring. I feel my being becoming lighter.
Wednesday, May 9
The day went by fast. My memory has improved, almost back
to normal.. .
Thursday, May 10
I'm feeling better and better, more hopeful, more vital....
Randal called. It was nice to hear his voice. There was something
reassuring about it... (which) brought back the positive, cleansing
feelings I had during and since the session.
Friday, May 11
Spoke with Jannie about the strides I've been making in letting
go of the sadness since ... the first glimpse of the reason for the
incredible sadness became apparent. Starting with the neighbors
whose house imploded from the bomb and died before I was born,
to my mother and father's plight after everyone came out of prison,
and my experience while locked up.
Had lunch with Carole and told her about the regression
and about the breakthrough to actually, finally, seeing the inside
of the room where the beatings took place. Watching her tears in
response to my story and the inhumane treatment I received as
a little girl, the violence that we humans can exhibit, I could feel
some more of the sadness release from my body and spirit. I started
to tell her about the events after I was released and went from
man's inhumanity to man to the incredible caring and generosity
of humans. Told her about how the townspeople would help out
when they heard my story from my aunt, and how I would sing for
my supper. Then tears came to me from the relief of feeling their
love and generosity.
Sunday, May 13
I now feel that I have absorbed and integrated about 80-90% of
the regression experience, so I decided to listen to the tape of the
session with Randal. It is interesting to see how my memory fared
in relation to the event and what remained on a conscious level
from the work done.
I remembered about going into the room but had no recollec-

tion of the shift in my attitude to that obstinate child, but I can
certainly see it as part of my character. The comment about "not
feeling" and being out of body seems to be most relevant to some
of what I've been experiencing, but not relating so much to my
feelings of sadness. That must have come from the overall status
of the people and the sad state of affairs in Hungary at the time of
my early childhood. The revelations are still unfolding. Each day I
am more grounded and I feel better in mind and spirit.
Prior to bringing me back Randal made some very compli-
mentary comments about how I responded to my circumstances,
but I don't know how else one could survive and survive intact. I
really appreciate the wonderfully positive suggestions that Randal
made and would love to listen to them over and over until they are
absorbed into my total being.
Interview Two and a Half Weeks After the Session

RANDAL: Rose, you've done a fabulous job journaling. You're
not only documenting some of your progress but also, I'm sure,
adding to your progress. Regression can be profound but I never
try to claim it's step one through one hundred. It's a quantum leap
sometimes and can be such a breakthrough, and then there is the
process of integration and growth and letting go. You pointed out
a few minutes ago that even in recent years, when you've been
around people you didn't know who spoke in Russian, it would
remind you of the soldiers and trigger a physical reaction. How
would you describe that?
ROSE: The discomfort was just like in the regression. It's the
nausea. After I came out of that place as a child I couldn't eat
because I was nauseous. I hadn't really linked it together until just
now. When people said things I didn't like I used to say, "Oh, I
could just throw up!" I think that became part of the core of me.
That's what happened when I heard people speak in Russian.
All of a sudden I would get nauseous and then I just wanted to
sleep.
RANDAL: How long did you have difficulty eating?
ROSE: Oh, for a couple of months I had a hard time eating. My
father's cousin took me in and decided that I wasn't doing well, so
I was brought to her sister who lived where it was a more peaceful
atmosphere. At that time my family was still locked away. They
got a doctor from the town where they grew up and that' s one
of the reasons they wanted me there, because they could tell
him the story and he would understand. He tried to work with me.
RANDAL: Because you weren't eating?
ROSE: I wasn't eating and if they managed to get something
in me I would throw it up. I could maybe drink a little but I don't
remember even too much of that.
RANDAL: You must have been skin and bones after a couple
of months. To begin with, when you left the prison you must have
been malnourished.
ROSE: Right. The doctor said something about how the egg
yolk is really nourishing and I guess my response must have been
positive to that. They had tried to give me cod liver oil and that
really came right back up. In fact the doctor gave me some and it
ended up on him. They tried everything that would nourish me
on an immediate basis and found that the eggs somehow sounded
appealing to me. He told my aunt to mix the egg yolk with sugar
and that between the protein and the sugar I would get lots of
calories and nourishment. Well, eggs were very expensive in
Hungary and my aunt couldn't afford to give me eggs every day.
But the story was told to everyone in town and each family from
around there would have me over and invite me to sing. I loved to
sing and they would give me two eggs as a reward.
RANDAL: You sang for your supper.
ROSE: (laughing) And I did that for months. At the time I didn't
recognize what that was about. I just thought it was great that
everybody wanted to hear me sing, and I got eggs, too. My aunt
would mix the egg yolks with sugar and I would eat that. Then she
would take the egg whites and make cakes that I would take to the
families who had been donating eggs. After that I started to be able
to eat fruits, and then vegetables and later milk was added. And
wafers. They use these wafers to make cakes out of and my aunt
kept them in case someone came. I found them and started to eat
them. I got in trouble for it but I found out later that they were really
happy I found something that I would eat. She always made sure that
there were plenty of those on hand. After about three or four months I
got back to eating more normally. I was still scrawny though.
RANDAL: When you were vomiting in the session it was like

you were vomiting up all of that horror and sadness.
ROSE: Yes, a lot. The reason I asked when I came out of the
session whether I had thrown up, is that in my mind I had a
vision of something corning out of my mouth. The picture I had
was of this green, brown slimy stuff that was like a snake. It was
something really negative and it just kept corning and corning. It
was like a garden hose only much thicker. All I could see was this
stuff and it kept being pushed out. When we were done I wasn't
sure if it had been all in my head in pictures or whether I was
actually throwing up. In the beginning it felt like it was just
being expelled but at a certain point it started to have more
weight outside, and then it started to feel like it was being
pulled out as well as pushed.
RANDAL: So the momentum of its own weight was helping
to pull it out.
ROSE: Yes, and the more that I saw out there the more it kept
corning until my belly felt really empty. Then all of a sudden it just
started filling up with light. It felt like it actually took up physical
space. Like it wasn't just psychic.
RANDAL: Besides the light energy you must have felt a lot
lighter as well.
ROSE: At one point I almost felt like I was levitating when I
was lying down. When we were done it felt very complete for the
first time ever. Before, no matter what the work was, I felt okay. We
got a piece of it. But it never felt like we got it all.
RANDAL: In following up, you want to be very nurturing to
yourself and the journaling is part of it. Fill in that gap with lots
of love and good energy. You did everything you could in that
session and now you're integrating the whole process and putting
it together, and you're doing a very good job of that.
ROSE: Yes, thank you. And the journaling has helped. It's in
shorthand but it's enough to remind me of what went on that day
and what's been corning to me. I'm finding that I no longer really
recall what happened during the session, so I'm doubly glad that
I started to write.
RANDAL: That's so good that you did. I want to ask you about
that movement you were making during the session. You were
kind of putting your hand on your solar plexus and digging in.
ROSE: At first I only remembered holding my stomach and

then I remembered grabbing. As I went back in my mind it was
like a cork. It felt like I had to rock it back and forth and then twist
and rock and pull. As I kept doing it I felt more and more sick. I
could just tell that something needed to come up but it couldn't
come up until I got to whatever it was that was there. What was
holding it down just hadn't been loosened.
RANDAL: What happened when you finally let it out?
ROSE: I remember that at that point I felt like I had to throw
up because it seemed like something was being ejected. Below
that area I could feel this turmoil, like a whirlpool, and it was this
horrible greenish stuff. Once that came undone it just kept whirling
and that's when it came up. Once it got more weight outside and
it was pulling, it just kept corning and corning. I thought it lasted
forever. It was pretty heavy, whatever it was. It's hard to remember
because during that time I wasn't all there. It was in listening to the
tape that it all came back.
RANDAL: In your journal you mentioned recently listening to
the tape.
ROSE: Yes, this last Sunday night. I didn't want to listen to it
until I felt more complete with the process. Now it's more of an
internal process. It's gone beyond the regression therapy that you
and I did together. It's now more of my own spirit that is taking
me to the next level and I feel it's okay to know on a conscious
level what happened. But until then I figured I would be given
what I needed when I needed it rather than being influenced on a
conscious level.
RAND AL: That's good. If there's a tape of a powerful regression,
for a lot of clients I'd say it could be useful to wait several months
to keep your own subjective experience grounded before you see
or hear it. Because of how far you've already come before this
session, and your ongoing awareness since, it was perfect for you
to listen this soon.
ROSE: The tape did bring some things back that I did not
remember. I had forgotten how I would be out of body so I
wouldn't have to experience that pain and how that connects with
now. And I didn't remember that my voice became this obstinate
little kid. I was like that more when I was younger but I can still do
it. I must have just gritted my teeth and said, "No way. You're not
going to break me." And I don't need that anymore. I don't need
the warrior.
RANDAL: That was part of how you kept your spirit and your
soul alive through that horror. You were finding a way to somehow
take charge in whatever way you could. So you don't need the
warrior anymore?
ROSE: I can be vulnerable and powerful all at the same time.
It feels really good to look at that and say that's what I did then
and it doesn't link to what I need now. All of the sadness became
apparent in a session that I had with a friend. That's what was
hanging on. Part of that was my mother's sadness over the state of
affairs over there and the other people around me. Everybody was
sad and I took it all on myself. Then it got piled on top with other
things and then came when we tried to leave the country which
really mashed it down in there, so it's been very difficult to get rid
of that.
RANDAL: The image of the sadness mashing down in there
is so powerful, and that's what came up. That was the remainder
that was still there. ·
ROSE: That's what it feels like. That it wasn't my sadness but
everyone else's that I was carrying with me. Now if I get sad it may
be just mine. (laughing) What I found interesting in listening to the
tape is that I had no reaction to any of the struggle. Even though
I started to cry in the beginning I didn't have the emotional sadness
that went with it. It was just a general, oh, isn't this too bad.
RANDAL: That's a fabulous sign of how you've really released
that. You cleared that energy and you're healing yourself.
ROSE: I really wanted to get rid of that last piece that had been
gnawing at me all these years. I'm very grateful for the work that
you did with me. That was a major chunk and it held me back
from so many things. It's hard to move on when you have that. It's
not anybody's fault, it's just the way it was and it was holding me
back. Now it's like the spiritual path is coming at me instead of me
having to go at it. That's the shift I've really been looking for. It's
nice to seek but it sure is great when the road comes up to meet
you half way. It's a good feeling. With all of that stuff gone I'm just
so wide open to the universe.
Rose Writes Four Years Later
Dearest Randal,
Well, I finally read through the portion of your manuscript

regarding our work together and went from beginning to end.
When you first sent it to me I was going to read it through and
respond without getting involved in feeling. about it. Then I
stopped to think about the original experience, the work we did,
and my time since then and all of a sudden I had some hesitation
about reading, or more correctly, reliving all that. So I kept putting
it off and then reading a little bit and putting it down, starting the
process over and over. Now the time finally came where it could be
put off no longer and I must be a person of my word and respond to you.
As so many times in our lives, the wondering and waiting is
worse than the actual event. When I committed to completing this
process and allowing myself to actually do it once more with feeling,
I started to read through what took place during the session. I was
amazed at how I was swept up in the experiences and able to move
right through them. Although I did find myself tearing up at times
there seemed to be no deep emotional connections to the events
and there was absolutely no nausea, which was my usual reaction
to that time in my life. What my reaction tells me is that I am no
longer burdened or weighed down by my childhood experiences
in prison. I am able to think and feel about those times freely and
not be mired in the muck created by other people's actions.
Since the hypnotic regression session I have found myself free
of the bonds or links which were created by the circumstances of
so many years ago. I find that my reaction to some of the current
events by various groups or nations are not as negative as they
would have been. I can disagree but rather than anger or sadness,
my feelings tum toward love and openness. Granted it is not 100%
of the time, and I still do shake my head and question some things
which happen in this world and how people can behave in certain
ways - but I do not get caught up in the negative feelings. I just stay
with the questioning and remind myself that there is a reason for
all that occurs.
I have also continued working on myself, mostly with my own
yoga and meditation practice, but have also taken some wonderful
workshops. Mostly they are fun and expand my knowledge and

awareness about the many ways we can heal ourselves and others.
One of the workshops in which I participated was an eight-month
Chakra Intensive offered by Anodea Judith. It was during that
time that I found the one thing (and I believe the last important
thing) which I needed to work out and that was about trust. Over
the years I found that it is not that I mistrust everyone, it is simply
that I only trust certain persons when it comes to me and my
wellbeing.
In the workshop we did an exercise in which each participant
is blindfolded and led into a circle for meditation. At first I would
have none of that ... . (but then) I thought back to the regression
therapy work that Randal and I did and how I would not do that
with anyone other than Randal, and just how successful that was.
So the blindfold was placed on me and my mantra on the way to
the meditation circle became "compared to the regression session
this will be a breeze." And indeed it became a joyful and fulfilling
experience - like working a jigsaw puzzle and finding the last piece
which fits just right.
I am feeling really good about a lot of things in my life, and
the freedom and lightness and so much more definitely came from
the cathartic regression I was allowed to experience in a safe yet
powerful way. I'm not discounting the work I did prior to my
session with Randal. All the practices and methods used led up
to and assisted in getting me healthy. I think of my life's process
as that of a bottle of champagne: start with good product (genes
for me, grapes for the champagne), fermentation, then aging
and fermentation, sediment which needs to be released, some
good things added, rotating or riddling, more fermentation, then
disgorging (that was my regression session with Randal), then the
last dosage of what is needed to complete the process - and I and
the bottle of champagne are ready to bubble and sparkle, to feel
good and possibly be fun and a joy to others.
Randal, thank you for the work that you do and the incredible
work you did with me. I believe that you are technically one of, if
not the best in your field. But more than that, I believe you are a
gifted spiritual being and are able to know and see way beyond
your level of technical knowledge. I will never forget because it
is now a big part of who and what I am, as well as reminding me
106 CATI-IARSIS IN REGRESSION HYPNOTHERAPY
of who and what I can yet become. After all, it is a journey and it
continues to continue.
Much love, peace, and joy to you,
Rose
CHAPTER 7
John's S hame
The Felon Who Didn't Fit In
John has hesitantly volunteered towards the end of the last day
of a month-long accelerated intensive, and has been whispering to
Randal. Randal now includes the group as he addresses John.
RANDAL: John, I want to say that it's brave of you to come

up here and consider working on this very personal issue. I can't
think of a time when a person wasn't glad they had volunteered,
but you need to decide if you feel comfortable. You know that this
is an extremely supportive group and there is no pressure either
way. It's entirely up to you whether you feel you would like to
pursue this.
JOHN: Yes, I would like to.
RANDAL: Good for you. You can start by talking about the
things you were telling me.
JOHN: (struggling to get the words out and looking ashamed)
Well, I've really held back in life for a long time. One thing that's
really big that I haven't been able to come to grips with or totally
reconcile myself to, is that I'm a convicted felon. I was a drug
addict for years and I was doing a lot of drugs, pretty much daily.
I became dependent and made some wrong choices and I ended
up selling drugs for a few years. Consequently I got arrested. I was
incarcerated for a year and made my first probation. The condition
of probation was that I complete an in-patient drug rehabilitation
program. If I didn't complete it then I would go back to prison and
when parole came up again I wouldn't be granted parole. They

didn't say that, but it was understood.
I got clean while I was locked up and I really wanted to stay
clean so I saw it as an opportunity. I was in the drug program for a
long time. All in all I was an in-patient for roughly 18 months and
an out-patient for another six months. It was a total of 23 months
before I graduated from the program.
It has really affected every aspect of my life and I lost a lot
as a result. It plagues me to this day. I hardly ever volunteer that
information because there's so much bias. I've lost a number of
jobs, pretty much because of that, I'm sure, but they don't tell you
that. Any time I told the truth when filling out applications I could
be sure I wouldn't get the job. So it's really been pretty hard. It's
affected my family life and a lot of significant relationships. I just
wish it would all end.
RANDAL: Well, you can help it to end. You can realize that
there may continue to be problems at times with jobs and so
forth, but what I'm concerned about now is your feelings and the
unfinished business with yourself. There is something you've done
that you're going to have to live with, but there have been many
people who have done such things and worse, and yet have been
able to come back from that. In fact many who have come from
such a background have gone on to really change their lives and
make a difference in other people's lives. It might be working as
a drug counselor, directly helping people who have been through
what you've been through, or it might not be directly related. It
might be just getting on and making a contribution to society.
You've hit some dead ends but you've got all kinds of roads open
to you. What's important is that you begin to feel good and clear
within yourself. If you can let go of the past and forgive yourself
completely, then doors will open up for you.
JOHN: I really do want to let go of all of that. I've tried in
different ways but I just haven't been able to. My self-esteem has
been pretty shattered. I can get it up when I need to but I feel pretty
desperate to just feel really good about myself. It's like a dark cloud
that follows me around and rains on me all the time. It's affected
just about everything. How people I know look at me and who
they take me to be and what not.
CHORUS OF VOICES: Not here, John.
John's Shame 109
RANDAL: Your intuition and your heart is allowing you to

share this because you know you can get support from us, but you
frequently feel the generalization you described. It's natural for
anybody in your position, who's been hit so often from so many
different directions, to start expecting it. It can happen in many
situations in your life.
JOHN: I just want to say that I graduated from the drug
rehabilitation program almost seven years ago, and I still do.n 't feel
that great about myself a lot of the time.
RANDAL: That's what I'm concerned about. Your feelings
toward yourself are what really matters. Whatever other people
think, you've got to feel clear about yourself. I won't go on because
I'll save it for the hypnosis. So you graduated from the drug
rehabilitation program and you did your time in prison. Have you stayed
away from all the relevant drugs since you completed that program?
JOHN: Yes. I was a poly-addict. Cocaine was the main thing.
During that time I was also an alcoholic.
RANDAL: Have you stayed away from alcohol during the
time since then?
JOHN: No. I drink alcohol socially.
RANDAL: Is it sometimes a problem? Do you have cravings,
occasionally imbibing excessively or anything like that?
JOHN: No. I'm a moderate social drinker.
RANDAL: So it's not a problem in any way in your life?
JOHN: It hasn't been.
RANDAL: There' s no current issue or problem regarding
drugs or in any related area? Gohn nods) That's good. (a mat is
placed on the floor) Do you want to come here and make yourself
comfortable? Gohn lies down)
JOHN: Another thing I want to mention is that I have a lot of
resentment against the judicial and prison systems and all that. I
don't know if that factors in.
RANDAL: It certainly does.
JOHN: I carry a lot of resentment that I think sometimes affects
my attitude. Not that I go out and do anything anti-social, I just
really feel I've been kicked and dragged around throughout the
system and since. But I know that I'm here because of what I did.
RANDAL: Is your resentment both about the way you were
originally treated and about ways you still get treated badly?
JOHN: It's just the total implication that I'm a bad person. I'm a
convicted felon. I was a drug pusher. I've got to be a really horrible
person and I know I'm not. That's a thing that I know. Just having
to deal with people's energy and watching someone's face change
if I mention something like that really affects me.
RANDAL: I hear you. Okay, here we go. Do you want to give
me your hand? First of all I want to shake hands with you and thank
you for doing this. I really appreciate your courage. (still shaking
hands) Now fill up your lungs and exhale. (as John exhales, Randal
suddenly pulls his arm down while shouting "Sleep!") Just relax
and let go. As I drop your hand send a wave of relaxation down
your body. That's good, John. (Randal reaches across and picks
up John's other hand) As I drop your hand send another wave of
relaxation down your body. Let your arm drop and just go way
down. (Randal drops his hand) That's good.
As I pull down on your right leg send a wave of relaxation
down your body. Take a nice deep breath and fill up your lungs.
(Randal takes John's right foot and pulls his leg gently but firmly
as he exhales) On the exhale send another wave of relaxation down
your body. Now your left leg. Take a nice deep breath and on the
exhale feel yourself go way deeper. (Randal pulls the left foot and
stretches the leg) That's good. Way down.
Now I'm going to lift up your hands and arms and you can
hold them up on your own. (Randal pulls John's arms out straight
in front of him, palms facing) Imagine I'm putting a powerful
magnet in the palm of each hand. When I take my hands away
your hands will begin to close and move in until they touch. When
they touch you go much deeper. All right, I'm taking my hands
away and your hands begin to close and move in. That's great.
Closing and moving, moving in and closing. When your hands
touch you go much deeper. (when John's hands get close Randal
slaps them together) Sleep! Going way down. That's good.
(Still holding John's hands) Interlock your fingers and squeeze
the palms of your hands together. Lock your arms. I'm going to
count from five down to one. At the count of one try to pull your
hands apart. The more you try the harder they squeeze together
and the deeper into hypnosis you go. Five, four, stuck tighter.
Three, two, stuck tighter. One, try to pull them apart but they're
stuck together until I clap my hands. (John's hands are tightly
John's Shame 111
clasped) When I clap my hands you relax completely, feel a wave

of relaxation move across your arms and go much deeper. (Randal
claps his hands and catches John's hands as they relax, placing
them down at his sides) That's great. As I drop your hands you go
much deeper. (Randal drops John's hands and moves behind him)
As I gently rub your shoulders take a deep breath and fill up your
lungs. As I push down go much deeper. (Randal pushes down as
John exhales) Way down, way down. That's good.
All right. You've been going through a lot of strong feelings.
Feelings that have to do with your self-esteem and with that dark
cloud you've been talking about. Feelings of resentment. Now
focus on the hand you use for ideomotor signals. Visualize and
hear the word "yes" in your mind until your "yes" finger lifts up.
(John's right index finger rises) Good. This is your "yes" finger.
(Randal taps the index finger) You can relax that finger down. Now
I'd like you to see and hear the word "no" in your mind. There's a
certain finger that is your "no" finger. Keep focusing on the word
"no" until a finger begins to lift and rise. (John's right little finger
lifts) Good. It's your little finger. (Randal taps the finger) You can
rest that finger now.
Okay, John. These very difficult experiences that you had
have to do with a lot of different kinds of emotions. They have to
do with your self-esteem, they have to do with this dark cloud,
with resentment, with fear, with anger, and with shame. Those
are various kinds of feelings you've been communicating. My
next question, for your subconscious to answer with the correct
finger, is about possibly going back over experiences in your life
regarding these kinds of feelings. Is it safe and appropriate for you
to consciously remember any and all such memories? (John's index
finger rises) The answer is yes. Thank you. The next question. As
we go back to any memories that have to do with feelings of shame
or lack of self-esteem or resentment or anger or feeling like a dark
cloud is hanging over you, is it safe and appropriate for you to feel
your emotions? (John's index finger rises) And the answer to the
question is yes.
John, as we do this, you' re going to be focusing on some difficult
memories and experiences. I want you to know that we're here
with you and we're here to support you. You can feel yourself in a
safe and trusting environment to do this. I also want to encourage
you to trust that you can feel safe to communicate whatever comes
up for you.
You described a feeling that is like a dark cloud following
you around and raining on you. And also feelings that have to do
with frustration and anger and so forth. Various kinds of feelings.
I'm going to count from one to ten and as I count upwards you'll
become even more aware of those kinds of feelings. Maybe one
of those feelings will stand out more than the others, but let's
stay with the image of the dark cloud. Becoming more and more
aware of this dark cloud with every number I count. Number one,
two, three. As I count you go deeper into hypnosis and more in
touch with the feeling of this dark cloud, a feeling of tremendous
frustration. Four, five, six. More and more aware of that feeling of
a dark cloud. It's not just a dark cloud now, but it's raining on you.
Seven, eight, nine, ten. (John is breathing heavily and muscles in
his face are twitching)
Stay with that feeling. As I count down, you're going back to
an earlier time in your life when you felt this dark cloud raining
on you. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six. Going back in time. Five, four,
three. Going back to another time in your life when you were really
being rained on. Two, on the next number I count you're right
there. Number one. (Randal taps John's forehead lightly) You're
right there. You can verbalize as I ask you some questions. Are you
inside or outside? Pick one.
JOHN: I'm inside.
JOHN: It's daytime.
RANDAL: Are you under 12 years-old? Yes or no.
JOHN: Yes. Right under.
RANDAL: Somewhere around ten or eleven?
JOHN: Yes.
RANDAL: Okay, this is the situation. You' re inside, it's daytime,
you' re around ten or eleven years-old. Are you inside a house or
somewhere else?
JOHN: Somewhere else.
RANDAL: Are there other people around or are you alone?
JOHN: Other people around.
RANDAL: Are these people you know?
JOHN: No. It's a club that has a restaurant and a bar. It's a
sporting club and it has a pool and courts.
John's Shame 113
RANDAL: Are you a member or are you just hanging out here
with the group?
JOHN: I'm a member. It's mostly members.
RANDAL: I talked about feeling this dark cloud and you went
back to this experience. What are you feeling right now at this
club?
JOHN: There is someone who is bothering me.
RANDAL: Are you being criticized in some way or something
else?
JOHN: I'm being criticized for being an American.
RANDAL: Is this person from another country?
JOHN: I'm in another country.
RANDAL: As you were growing up was your father or mother
stationed in another country? Is that what's happening?
JOHN: Yes.
RANDAL: Has this happened to you before, being criticized
for being an Ameri~an?
JOHN: First time.
RANDAL: And how are you reacting? What are you saying to
this person?
JOHN: I can't defend myself.
RANDAL: Is that what you actually say or that's what you
feel, that there's nothing you can really say?
JOHN: Yeah.
RANDAL: Are other people listening to this guy?
JOHN: Yeah.
RANDAL: So there doesn't seem to be anything you can do
about it. Go inside your body and tell me what you're feeling in
your body right now.
JOHN: (takes a deep breath, face muscles are tensed)
Frustration.
RANDAL: Frustration, yes. What do you feel in your jaw? In
your mouth area?
JOHN: Tension.
RANDAL: You're right back there now. What's your name
when you're ten or eleven?
JOHN: John.
RANDAL: Okay. If you could have the support of all of us
here with you and know that we're in the background helping to
encourage you, what would you tell him?
114 CATHARSIS IN REGRESSION H YPNOTHERAPY
JOHN: Get away from me. You're drunk and you're bigger
than I am. I can't do anything.
RANDAL: Okay. (Randal gets a big pillow) I'd like you to take
the tension that is in your jaw and put it into this pillow. Grab it
with both hands and really squeeze it. Tell him, "I hate you." (to
the class) If you haven't put your grounding cords down yet, put
them down now.
JOHN: (tightly squeezing the pillow) I hate you! I hate you!
(begins crying)
RANDAL: Good! Grab him by the throat. All that energy you
tightened your throat with, use it to tighten his throat. Randal places his
hands over John's and helps him squeeze tighter) Say "I hate you!"
JOHN: (choking the words out) I hate you. I hate you.
RANDAL: (shouting) Now say it louder! Get it out of you!
JOHN: (louder) I hate you!
RANDAL: Again!
JOHN: (now shouting) I hate you!
RANDAL: Again!
JOHN: I hate you!
RANDAL: Okay. Now I want you to bite him. (pushes the pillow
into John's face) Make some noise as you do it. Arhhhh! (John bites
the pillow, sobbing and making noises) Good! Yes! Good for you.
(pausing while John continues) Okay, now relax, relax. (takes the
pillow away) That's fine. Just relax. You couldn't get it out of your
system then but you can do that now. You've been holding it in for
a long time. It's good to get it out of your system. Get in touch with
your body. What do you feel in your body right now?
JOHN: Trembling.
RANDAL: That's fine. Trembling is energy. That's your life
force. I encourage you to exaggerate that tremble. Tremble now.
(John shakes his body) That's good. Now let's bring this person
back. (Randal hands John the pillow again) Grab him and shake
him. Put all that shaking energy into him and say whatever you
want to say to him. (John's legs are moving and he is tensely
holding the pillow, but he begins to cut off his breath) Breathe!
You can say "I hate you" or "Get away from me" or whatever you
want to say.
JOHN: (holds the pillow up and begins to shake it) Get away
from me!
John's Shame 115
RANDAL: Good! (Randal moves behind the pillow and takes

hold of it) You're going to have to push him away now. (John
pushes hard) Okay, one more time. Push him away. (John pushes
harder and Randal lets go) That's good. (Randal takes the pillow
and puts it aside) Relax now. Go inside your body. Breathe down
into your stomach. What do you feel in your body right now?
JOHN: It's calmer.
RANDAL: And what do you feel in your throat right now? Are
you still feeling tension?
JOHN: Less. There's still some tension.
RANDAL: Yes, there is definitely still some tension there. Okay,
go to that same situation but you've really expressed yourself.
You've gotten some anger out at him. How does he respond to
this?
JOHN: He's surprised.
RANDAL: Have you gotten him to calm down and stop saying
those mean things to you?
JOHN: Yeah. He's apologizing.
RANDAL: Excellent. Do you have anything to say to him?
JOHN: No, no.
RANDAL: All right. This is a process that you're learning right
now, John. You're learning how to stand up for yourself. What's
most important of all is standing up for yourself inside, including
from that part of you that would put yourself down.
I'm going to count from five down to one and you're going
to go to another scene, another time early in your life. Maybe it
was more recent than that experience or maybe it was earlier. I'll
count from five down to one as you go to another time when you
felt yourself being put down in some way. That's the issue here,
having been criticized and treated badly. Five, four, three, two, go
back to another time when you were being put down or insulted.
A dark cloud is raining on you. On the next number you' re there
at another time, number one. (Randal taps John's forehead lightly)
Okay. Inside or outside, pick one.
JOHN: Outside.
JOHN: Daytime.
RANDAL: Are you under 12 years-old, yes or no?
JOHN: I'm about that.
RANDAL: Okay, 12 years-old. Are you in the same country

you were in last time or is it a different country?
JOHN: Same.
RANDAL: What country is this by the way?
JOHN: Uruguay.
RANDAL: All right. You're outside and it's daytime. Are there
other people around?
JOHN: (looking nervous) Yes.
RANDAL: What's going on?
JOHN: (starting to whisper) I'm walking home from a friend's
house and it's sort of along a coastal highway. Some guys are
approaching me and they get in my way and stop me.
RANDAL: What happens now?
JOHN: They don't like Americans.
RANDAL: How are they letting you know that? Is there
anything else that happens now?
JOHN: They threaten me.
RANDAL: Are they speaking in Spanish?
JOHN: Yes.
RANDAL: Do you know Spanish? (John nods) So they're
threatening you. Are you saying anything in return?
JOHN: Yes. I want to go.
RANDAL: When you say "I want to go" are you telling them
you want to go or is that just your feeling?
JOHN: I'm trying to go.
RANDAL: Are they physically keeping you or are they blocking
your way?
JOHN: They're blocking me and they're pushing me.
RANDAL: Are they pushing you around a little or is it more
than a little?
JOHN: (voice shaking) They say that they're going to bum me
with their cigarettes.
RANDAL: So what happens out of all this? Do they end up
finally letting you go or do they threaten you or do anything
further?
JOHN: They let me go. (breathes deeply, a lot of tension in his
face)
RANDAL: Okay, I'd like you to bring them here. Stay with
your feelings. Keep breathing down into your stomach. This time
John 's Shame 117
we're going to give you some protection. There's bullet proof glass
between you and them so they can't touch you. They may threaten
you, but they can't touch you. What do you want to tell them?
JOHN: (breathing deeply and crying) I can' t help it that I'm an
American.
RANDAL: Good. Now pick a main person in the other group.
When I touch you on the shoulder you can switch and be that other
person. (touches John's shoulder) What does he say?
JOHN: We don't care.
RANDAL: Okay, switch and be John. (taps John's shoulder)
How do you respond?
JOHN: (in a little voice) I just want to go. Just let me go. (crying)
I've gotta go.
RANDAL: What does that person say? (touching John's
shoulder whenever he wants him to switch) Switch and be that
other person.
JOHN: (in a loud voice) You can't go. We're talking to you.
We' re going to burn you.
RANDAL: Now be John.
JOHN: (softly, crying) Let me go. Let me go.
RANDAL: I realize that when this happened these kids were at
least your size and there were several of them. Is that correct?
JOHN: Yes.
RANDAL: So there was nothing more you could do. You did
whatever you could. Now we're turning the tables a little bit and at
least they can't touch you. You've got this Plexiglas for protection.
You can do whatever you want to do and you can say whatever
you want to say. Before you go, criticize them. They were criticizing
you for being an American. Criticize them back. Tell them what's
wrong with them.
JOHN: In English?
RANDAL: You can speak in English or Spanish. If you can
say it as easily in English that will help because I know very little
Spanish.
JOHN: (loudly) Just leave me alone. I gotta go. Please. Just let
me go.
RANDAL: Now say that in Spanish to them and say it loudly.
Gohn speaks loudly in Spanish) Good, good. Now make that
more aggressive. I don't care which language, Spanish or English,
whichever is more powerful. Here's the main guy now right here
in your face. (Randal picks up the pillow and pushes it into John's
face) Now you tell him to go. Instead of saying let me go, tum it
around. Say, "Go! Get away from me!"
JOHN: Get away from me! (John pushes against the pillow
forcefully)
RANDAL: Again! Breathe!
JOHN: Get away from me!
RANDAL: Say, "I hate you!"
JOHN: (shouting) I hate you!
RANDAL: Say it again!
JOHN: I hate you!
RANDAL: One more time!
JOHN: I hate you!
RANDAL: Good job. (Randal puts the pillow down) Breathe
down into your belly and feel what you feel in your body. (pause)
Okay, give me a report. What do you feel?
JOHN: More calm.
RANDAL: And what do you feel in the area of your throat and
your jaw?
JOHN: I think my throat's okay. My cheek bones are sore from
the tension.
RANDAL: You've really been tensing your jaw. Earlier you
shook that drunken guy up and he backed away and apologized.
Let's see what happens now. You really stood up to these boys.
You're there with them now. You stuck it out and pushed them
away and you've become strong and powerful. When I touch your
shoulder tell me what he says. (taps John's shoulder)
JOHN: Gohn's face contorts) Say it in English?
RANDAL: If it's easy for you to do.
JOHN: Okay. All right. Yeah, you can go.
RANDAL: Okay, switch and be John. How does that feel? You
just stood up to these guys.
JOHN: I'm glad they're going. Gohn nods his head) I feel better.
I can go home. Gohn's head begins to shake)
RANDAL: All right. Go inside your body. You notice some
trembling and that's okay. It's good to tremble. You're feeling part
of your energy, your life force. And your head is shaking. What's
that about?
John's Shame 119
JOHN: Energy.
RANDAL: Good. That's part of this trembling energy. Let your
head shake. Let your body shake. You've been holding in so much
energy for years. You started doing this when you were a child or
maybe even earlier. We have examples from when you were ten
and twelve years-old where you couldn't help it. You had to hold
in that energy. You didn't have any choice in the matter. You could
have run away or something in the first situation but you didn't
have any good solution. Then you were outnumbered and you
were being physically and verbally threatened. But now you're
feeling that life force. That's what the trembling is. Let yourself feel that.
It's time for you to stick up for yourself, John. You did your
time. You did what the judge said. You served your prison sentence
and then they said okay, you take this drug rehab program. You
did the drug rehab program. You have every right to be a free
man. Furthermore, you have not dealt any drugs or taken any
drugs. You've been an upstanding member of society. You've been
responsible. You have every right to stand tall. You have every
right to be everything you can be and to be treated with dignity
and respect.
Now I'd like you to return to the present and look back at these
experiences that that boy had when he was ten and twelve years-
old. Analyze those experiences and how they've been affecting you
until now as a man. What kind of conceptions or misconceptions
did you get about how to be in the world? When you're ready to
talk about that you can signal with your "yes" finger. (after a pause
John signals) Okay, when I touch your shoulder say something
about how these experiences affected you. (Randal touches John's
shoulder)
JOHN: Well, they were against me for where I came from. They
weren't fair. But I knew that. I understood it totally.
RANDAL: That's part of it. You can understand that they're
not fair and that they had no right to do this to you but there's still
a misconception you got as a result of this.
JOHN: That's where some feelings started.
RANDAL: Yes. What kind of feelings?
JOHN: Feelings of not fitting in.
RANDAL: And that's what you had to deal with later with the
law system.
120 CA1HARSIS IN REGRESSION HYPNOTHERAPY
JOHN: Feelings of being wrong.

RANDAL: Those feelings started there, that's true. Those
experiences had a profound effect. When you were coming
up against those boys who were threatening to bum you with
cigarettes, that was a terrifying experience. It would be for anyone
in that situation. As you're discovering and communicating now,
that created a tremendous expectancy, a fear of being in that kind
of situation again where you don't fit in, where you're being made
wrong or where you could be hurt very badly, physically, mentally
and emotionally. I could say a few more things but I want to check
if there is anything else you want to say about misconceptions that
developed as a result of those experiences. (John's face muscles
contort)
JOHN: The fear. There's a physical fear. (his face continues to
look intense) ·
RANDAL: Okay, keep breathing into your stomach. Fear
of being physically hurt in some way. Right now, John, you can
see things from a very deep perspective. Some of it you would
certainly have understood intellectually before, but you can really
get a clear perspective looking back now at those early experiences.
These big experiences from a very young age made an imprint. A
fear of being hurt, of not fitting in, of being wrong.
When you got caught doing and selling drugs later on in your
life, that triggered the same kind of life threatening feelings for
you and made it all that much worse. I'm wondering whether any
of these experiences of not fitting in, of being wrong, of feeling
physical fear, influenced you to start doing drugs in the first
place? Ultimately we are responsible for everything we do, but I'm
wondering if there is any association for you?
JOHN: Yes. There's a lot.
RANDAL: This is important then. So many things tie in to each
other. Go ahead and say something about that.
JOHN: When we came back to the states ... (speaking very softly
and haltingly, face muscles tensing) we started school a little late.
(stuttering and pausing) Started eighth grade over. Had already
been in eighth grade. Junior high. Didn't fit in. (starts crying)
Differences.
RANDAL: There were differences between you and the other
kids?
John's Shame 121
JOHN: From Uruguay and the States. Coming back. There are
different customs and styles.
RANDAL: You were going through a culture shock.
JOHN: Yes. Made fun of even by the teachers.
RANDAL: So you got hassled for being an American, then
you came back to America and got hassled for being from another
culture. You were getting the worst of both worlds, weren't you?
That's too bad. Did it take a long time for you to adjust?
JOHN: (John grimaces before answering) Maybe couldn't fully
adjust.
RANDAL: Yes. You really weren't fully adjusting at all. It's
been affecting you, it sounds like, all the way up until now.
JOHN: Yes.
RANDAL: Did you know English when you came back to the
States? Was that your primary language?
JOHN: Yes.
RANDAL: Then at least you didn't have to deal with that.
JOHN: No.
RANDAL: These have been profound experiences for you.
One difficulty after the other when you were ten, when you were
twelve, and maybe when you were younger than that, too. All the
way up until now, that feeling of not fitting in. That was a big part
of your experience when you ended up doing drugs and getting
busted and going to jail. You probably felt like you didn' t fit in in
jail either. (John takes a couple of deep, rapid breaths) There was
just one thing after another.
JOHN: Yes. (crying)
RANDAL: So say, "I would like to fit in."
JOHN: I would like to ... I would like to fit in.
RANDAL: I'm sure you would. You've been looking for that
one all of your life. (begins to stroke John's shoulder as John cries)
Say, "I deserve to fit in."
JOHN: (taking a deep breath and clearing his throat) I deserve
to fit in. I deserve to fit in.
RANDAL: Good. Say it louder.
JOHN: (louder) I deserve to fit in.
RANDAL: Say, "I'm a good person."
JOHN: I'm a good person.
RANDAL: Say, "I deserve love."
JOHN: I deserve love.

RANDAL: Say, "I deserve approval."
JOHN: I deserve ... (voice breaks) I deserve approval.
RANDAL: All right. You're doing well. You've been holding
back so much in your throat and your jaw and it's starting to come
out more. You're freeing that energy. It's a continuous process.
You're going to find it opening up more and more every day from
now on. You're doing great. Go inside your body and tell me what
you're feeling right now.
JOHN: (deep breaths) I don't feel bad.
RANDAL: Are you feeling clear? Do you feel good in your
body?
JOHN: Good, yes.
RANDAL: Do you feel a gradual lessening of the tension in
your throat area?
JOHN: Yes. The tension in my throat is gradually lessening.
RANDAL: And are you feeling better in the area of your jaw?
JOHN: Yes.
RANDAL: Okay. (Randal hands John a different pillow) That
child, that ten and twelve year-old child, had all these experiences
where he didn't fit in. And at other ages, too. I would like you now
to be the daddy to that child. Bring that child right here. (Randal
places the pillow on John's chest) I'd like you to talk to this ten
year-old child and tell him how you' re going to be there for him
and how he's going to fit into your family because he is your family.
(John is holding on to the pillow and breaks into sobs) It's okay to
cry. This boy has really had it tough. He hasn't had someone that
could be there for him much, but you can be here for him. (John
continues to sob)
That's it. Keep breathing. Let out any sound that wants to come
out. That's fine. You just keep holding this boy and let him know
you love him. (John takes a deep breath and begins to calm down)
The main thing is that you're holding him and sending him a lot
of love. That's first and foremost, but what would you like to say
to him?
JOHN: That I never realized a lot of these things that he had to
go through.
RANDAL: When you say you never realized, is this John
talking to your child within or is this John's father talking to him?
John's Shame 123
JOHN: This is my father talking to him.

( Beginning to work with the inner parent and child is valuable
here as a trigger that instantly and naturally shifts to John as a
boy doing Gestalt dialogue with his father. But the dialogue will
continue to ultimately be about healing the inner parent and child,
as well as helping to heal John's relationship with his father.)
RANDAL: So your father now is just seeing all of this. You
hadn't realized all John had to go through. What else do you want
to say?
JOHN: I could never have known that you were going through
all this. You never told me. I never bothered to find out what you've
been going through and the things you've come up against and the
things that made you feel bad.
RANDAL: Tell him if you're sorry that you never asked him
about all this.
JOHN: I'm sorry I never asked you about all this. I was always
too busy. Gohn breaks into sobs) But I love you so much, so much.
I didn't know. I wouldn't let you have to feel these things. There's
nothing wrong with you. There's so much that's right about you.
RANDAL: Good. Tell him what's right about him.
JOHN: (still sobbing and taking breaths to calm down) You're
so clever and so adaptable. You were able to learn about all kinds
of things so fast. You've been able to go to strange schools and hear
the things in Spanish and learn it right away. You learned to speak
it faster than Mom and I. You've been able to make new friends
and find new sports and just make all kinds of changes that you
pretty much had to make. I know how right you are. I know how
good you are. Your mother and I, we love you so much. We just
want the best for you. We tried to give you as wonderful a life as
possible. We know you're going to go on to do great things. You
can do anything. And your sister, she loves you and your brother
loves you, too. You had to learn all kinds of things and you are
just wonderful. We' re going to be paying a lot more attention and
making sure everything is really going all right for you. And that
people don't harm you and make you feel bad for who you are.
RANDAL: Good. Now be the boy. Be ten years-old. You're
listening to your father now. Take it all in. Your father is hugging
you and telling you how much he loves you and how proud he is
of you. He's telling you all these great things. How adaptable and
creative and clever you are, and all the things you could learn to do
so quickly. They're both so proud of you. Take it in. What would
you like to tell your daddy?
JOHN: Dad ... (breaks into sobs) Dad ... I love you so much and I
don't even see all that much of you. I know you're busy but I want
to spend more time with you. I want to do the things that you do.
Even if I'm young and too small to do them I want to be with you
and see you do them and think about them. I want you to take me
with you when you go on trips. I want you to take me to work
with you more often and show me the people you work with and
introduce me to your friends. I want you to do more things with
me and play with me more. I want to be so much like you. I want
to learn the things that you know because you' re such a smart dad.
I want to be with you more and I want to feel you more. I want to
wrestle with you and read things with you. Just let me do more
with you.
RANDAL: Excellent. Be dad and respond to your son.
JOHN: I want to ... (takes a deep breath) I want to make sure that
we do a lot more together. I'm going to make a point of thinking of
you every day whenever I think of my family. Whenever I think of
all I have behind me, I'm going to think of you. I'm going to make
sure that you feel more included and more a part of my life. I'm
going to take you to the embassy and introduce you to the marine
guards and to my secretaries and to my bosses. I'm going to take
you out and buy you ... (sobs)
RANDAL: Good. Be ten year-old John. Your father is really
hearing you and he's getting into it. He wants it just as much as
you now, so what do you want to say to your dad?
JOHN: I hope so dad. (still crying) I want... right away let's do
something. Let's go somewhere. Let's go eat somewhere. Let's just
be together and do something.
RANDAL: It's never too late to have a happy childhood and you
can have that right now. The energy between you and your father
has shifted now, John. It's shifted on the etheric plane and most
importantly, it's shifted within you. Ten year-old John needs that,
needs to be cared for and nurtured and taken fascinating places.
There's the father within you now that wants to nurture that boy
and take care of him. When it all happened the boy wasn't able to
communicate about it. (John continues to cry and sob) The father
John's Shame 125
loved his son but he was very busy and he didn't realize his son
was in so much pain. He would have done something if he had known.
What happened is sad, but it doesn't have to be that way anymore.
You have lived your whole life up until now, having had that
imprint, that experience of the boy whose father wasn't there
much but who really did love him deep down. The boy was alone
and isolated but that was then and this is now. It's not that way
anymore. Everything has changed because deep within you are
opening up and becoming receptive. You recognize that there's a
lot of love out there for you and you can reach out to people. You
have friends, people in this class, and family that you can and do
reach out to.
You're becoming wide open, John, to the love that's out there
for you. You're becoming wide open to finding different ways to
nurture and treat yourself well. It's amazing because you're going
to find that even strangers are changing. People you never met
before seem to be more positive because you have shifted. The
whole world is new to you.
Is there anybody who would like to come over now and say
something to John? Normally I'd ask you to say something from
your seats, but I'd really like those who want to now, to make a
strong connection with John. You can come over here on this side
(Randal moves over to make room) if you want to say something.
(a line of people begins to gather)
DAVID: Hi, John, it's David. You're a really beautiful man.
(David holds John's hands in his own and continues to speak
softly to him)
RANDAL: Take it in, John. You don't have to say a word. Know
that he means it very deeply. He really cares about you. All right,
Dave can stay right here and we'll let somebody else come.
CATHY: Hi, John. You are loved and accepted and we are all
your friends. It's yours to keep forever and ever, unconditionally.
TOBI: John, you're really a beautiful, strong and gentle man.
My life is so much richer for having met you. Thank you so much.
I love you.
BEVERLY: John, you are a beautiful man with a golden heart.
Please bring that heart more out into the world and shine it on us.
Thank you for this gift today. The man with the golden heart. (John
has been breathing deeply and smiling)
RANDAL: Let's have an echo of that. (several people, "The

man with the golden heart.") That sounds great.
CHERYL: Hi, John. The first time we did work together the
thing that struck me about you is that you really radiated out from
your heart with goodness. I didn't have to look deep at all to see
it. It was right there on the surface. You're a beautiful man. Thanks
for being here. Thanks for sharing so much.
BARBARA: You're so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing
yourself with us. We're all here for you. I'm so happy to have you
for my friend.
RANDAL: Take it all in. Feel that love. Feel being a part of all
of this.
PATTY: I really understand your experience because I had
the same kind of life. I was always the outsider and learned other
languages and went to other schools. Every time I went to another
one I was the outsider again, so I really understand. (she whispers
lovingly in his ear for a while and then hugs him)
BOB: (whispers something in John's ear - John grins and Bob
laughs out loud) You got it!
RANDAL: Others of you can say things at the break if you
would like to. Did you want to say something, Marleen?
MARLEEN: (class instructor) John, the future is welcoming you
with open arms, smiling. You're walking right into it and opening
up to all that you are, all that you are becoming. See yourself ten
years from now. What do you see?
JOHN: (haltingly) I see myself in very good health .. . and I
see myself with a deeply significant other ... I see myself having
learned a lot about a few things I'm very interested in. One of them
relating maybe to some sort of social work or something like that.
Maybe something where I can use hypnotherapy.
MARLEEN: So experience all that, John. Having a significant
other, being in work that is satisfying and where you enjoy being
there for others. You don't have to know exactly right now. You
know the direction it' s going. You're moving forward into the
future.
RANDAL: Now you're going to go even deeper into hypnosis
as I take this away. (Randal stands up and takes the pillow away)
Know that you always have the integration of the father and the
son within you. You have the receptivity and the trust to know that
John 's Shame 127
you can reach out and have good friends and loved ones in this
class and elsewhere. Stay in hypnosis and I'm going to help you
now to stand up. Here we go. (Randal takes John's hands and pulls
him up) Keep your eyes closed. (John is on his feet) Great. I want
you to feel yourself on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual
plane now. You'll feel so much a part of everything. We're all part
of this loving family that you have around you, and you feel that
we're all here.
(Randal motions and the class gathers together in a giant hug
around John) You're never on the outskirts again, John. You can feel
all of this, being a part, being in the middle of this circle. You take
this with you wherever you go and it helps to propel you forward
in your life to many good experiences, to loving relationships, and
many kinds of successful experiences in your work. You'll find you
have a lot of love to give and receive. You have a lot of good energy
and insights and caring to give to those around you, both in your
work and elsewhere. Be open to receive, John. You're the one in the
middle. You're at the heart of this circle, just wide open.
We're starting an official break right now but it may take some
of us a couple of minutes to get away from this circle. It feels great.
We're officially on a break and we're having a great time doing just
what we want to be doing.
(group member begins to spontaneously sing, "Father carry
me, a child I will always be," and John opens his eyes and looks
around)
RANDAL: This boy is as wet as a new born baby. I'm deliberately
leaving him in hypnosis.
John was moved deeply by this and shared from his heart
some of his feelings after the break, although it wasn't recorded.
He later wrote a beautiful testimonial about his experiences with
the teachers and the school.
CHAPTER 8
Curtis and Charlene

Explorations of Averting Catharsis
The use of non-detached comprehensive regression strategies

to explore trauma that contributed to an ongoing or recurring
difficulty often leads to some degree of emotional expression. In
some cases, however, even when a full-blown catharsis may seem
likely, further exploration leads away from the experience and
expression of strong emotions.
In Chapter 21 of this volume, Chris ' Struggles with Work: They'll
Kill M e if I Stop, significant emotional release may have initially
appeared to be a probability, given the intensity of her previous
cathartic sessions transcribed in Chapters 19 and 20. Chris had
signaled her receptivity to her emotions, which was part of what
led me to use various methods that often lead to strong emotional
expression. As the session evolved, however, it went in a very
important direction that included only some moderate expression
of emotions. Chris' previous work had led her through such
a release and transformation of energy that a major emotional
clearing was no longer relevant.
The following two cases illustrate additional examples in which
regression to trauma leads away from high emotional expression.
Curtis' Claustrophobia
Curtis volunteered to do a session in class regarding a feeling
of claustrophobia that he said comes up for him in various
circumstances. The five kinds of situations he described were

when the covers are too tight on his bed, in a restaurant booth with
people on both sides, in the back seat of a car that feels crowded,
when something is too close to his face, or if he is being held down.
He stated that he knew, or at least felt, that the onset of that feeling
went back to when he was an infant and had an enlarged thymus
gland that was treated by administering radiation to his throat
several times. During the experimental treatments with extremely
high doses of radiation, he was tied down with sand bags and the
x-ray machine was right in front of his face.
Curtis is someone who likes to challenge himself, and to
challenge his fear of claustrophobia he got onto the wrestling
team in high school and college. He used his claustrophobia to
his advantage and became an excellent wrestler. He didn't win
every match but when someone attempted to pin him he would
explosively flip out and escape. As the session began, Curtis was
animated about this issue and even expressed an expectation
that he would need to work through it in an intense, emotionally
charged fashion.
The experiences as an infant provided a logical explanation,
although circumstantial, and I used ideomotor questioning after
the induction to ascertain what experiences played a part in his
claustrophobic reactions. Curtis signaled that the experiences of the
radiation treatment were the key, and that there were no other causes.
After ideomotor responses determined full subconscious
receptivity to Curtis' memories and emotions regarding his
claustrophobia, I used an affect bridge to regress him. In an
emotional moment, Curtis' arms immediately went up as though
he was fending off efforts to pin him down. Even as I encouraged
him to stay with his feelings he settled down. I directed Curtis
to become aware of his surroundings, then had him engage in
Gestalt dialogues. When he dialogued with the doctor, whom
he had imagined as sadistic and cruel, the doctor was instead
saying, "I know it's difficult and you can't understand but if you
hold still we can get this done quickly." Curtis was able to make
a realization that while the method of treatment probably wasn't
a good idea, the doctor meant well. He was also able to recognize
that his father, who was present during the treatments, was having
great difficulty because he felt that the treatment was in Curtis'
Curtis and Charlene 131
best interest but he knew how traumatic it was for him. As Curtis
made those realizations he was able to let go without feeling or
expressing anger.
When I asked how he now felt Curtis said, "I'm done with
them but I'm still feeling trapped." I then braced myself, putting a
pillow against Curtis and telling him to push it away. I anticipated
pinning Curtis down and encouraging him to fight back in order
to get rid of the feeling. But Curtis briefly pushed away once with
moderate effort and very quickly settled down. When I questioned
him he said he was doing very well. He had gotten clear during
the Gestalt dialogue that everyone was on his side and that made
all the difference. All he had needed to do was get the weight off of
him and the feelings immediately dissipated.
Further questioning confirmed that those incidents were the
only major difficulties from childhood that were relevant to his
life. Otherwise, his conscious and subconscious awareness of his
early experiences was very positive.
Because of the radical treatments with radiation when Curtis
was an infant, he continues to get regular check-ups to make sure
he is cancer free. The tests have remained negative.
Given the details of Curtis' history and the intensity of the
subject matter, it might have been expected that substantial
emotions or even cathartic expression would be forthcoming.
This example shows that even when exploring such an
emotionally charged issue with someone who expects and
welcomes intense emotional expression, it isn' t always necessary
or important.
Interview Eight Days After the Session

RANDAL: I want to check in to see how you're doing. It was
interesting that you didn't need to get angry or express a lot of
emotion. As you had described in the preinduction interview,
those claustrophobic feelings only came up for you once in awhile.
I don't know if you have already noticed any changes, either
directly about those claustrophobic feelings that you used to have
- just a little suggestion (laughter) - or if you've noticed any added
comfort in certain situations. Or if there is anything else, including
something that you didn't even relate it to that has begun to change
in your life.
CURTIS: I do want to say that this wasn't something that

controlled my life or that I couldn't handle before. It just irritated
me that I would get uptight in these harmless situations. I haven't
felt that claustrophobia since the session, although I'm not sure
that I've been in a situation where I would.
The actual details of those radiation treatments were something
that I didn't remember and I wanted to go back to see what really
happened. The thing that really seems to have changed for me so
far, the big realization, was when I got to that place I expected the
doctor to be smirking, like, "Yes, we tie down little babies. We have
ways to make you talk." (laughter) The way I saw it in the trance
state was that the doctor was kind of embarrassed and uneasy
because I was upset and he just didn't know how to make it better.
The big breakthrough for me was realizing that everyone in the
room was on my side and doing their best.
One thing that has changed for me is my attitude toward other
people. I've been looking back at times when I've been angry at
people or people have been angry at me. I realize that in almost
every case one person was just not understanding what the other
person was saying, or was taking it out of context. Both people
were generally doing as well as they could but they didn't have
the information necessary to really understand. So these doctors
were doing their best even though I think they were doing harm
at the time. They were working from the best information that
they had. Since the session, whenever I've felt someone getting
angry at me or me at them, I've tried to stand back and figure out
what information they're working from, or I'm working from, that
might be being misunderstood. So that has changed for me. I'm
not a person who gets angry really easy anyway, but I'm looking
at people differently.
RANDAL: That could tum out to be a bonus that may be
even more significant than the value you get from what you were
working on directly. That set of incidents as an infant was the one
time when you said you had a very fearful experience. In general
you had a good family life and many things to be grateful for when
you were growing up. But having had this one set of experiences
created some general mistrust on a subconscious level. You can
see the context of how people can be hypnotized by their early
experiences, for better or worse, regarding certain expectancies
when situations later come up that may only seem loosely related.
This is already creating a shift for you in having a more balanced
view of the world now.
CURTIS: I think so.
RANDAL: That was an important insight. Does anyone have a
question for Curtis before he sits down?
JULIAN: Curtis, I know that you have a son who is now
roughly the age that you were then. I was wondering if that has
made any difference in how you're looking at this?
CURTIS: Yes, very much. When my son is crying and frustrated
I try and look carefully at what's going on because he can't really
understand. I think more about physically making him feel better.
If he's doing something physical instead of just saying no, you
can't do that, I will move him out of harm's way. I don't want to
be so much forceful as more physically comforting, something like
that.
JULIAN: Do you think that because he is the age that you were
then, that your experience came up now instead of maybe a year ago?
CURTIS: Actually this is my third time here (coming from
Japan to take various levels of the class) and I've wanted to talk
about it the last couple of times but I only just got up the courage.
This is my last two weeks.
RANDAL: You did a great job, Curtis. Thank you.
Charlene's Childhood Trauma

The following work was done in two sessions in class with a
woman who wanted to be able to let go of major issues from her
early life. In our first preinduction interview Charlene said that
she had come 76 to 98 percent of the way in letting go of issues of
childhood abuse, and she wanted to get all the way to 100 percent.
Two major issues with her father were incest and violent abuse.
She was also physically abused by her brother and by her mother.
When she was six years-old her mother came back from church
one day and told her she would never hit her again. From that time
on, her mother kept her word.
Other issues she discussed had to do with difficulty making
money and being confident in the world. She wasn't sure whether
she wanted to work on those problems or her issues with men that
had to do with betrayal, trust, and being used. Charlene was 52
years-old and had not been in a relationship for five years except
for a man she was briefly intimate with who told her afterwards
that he was bisexual. She said she was angry that he hadn't told
her earlier because that could put sex into a different and more
dangerous context. She also mentioned a man who, after having
sex with her, told her how busy his schedule was, which left her
feeling used. She said she might just resign herself to letting go of
having any relationships with men so that she could have more
energy and less complications in her life.
I discussed with Charlene about how situations keep repeating
themselves in different ways in a person's life until the underlying
issues get resolved. It felt best to work with her feelings of self-
doubt and fear regarding work, recognizing that that might also
tie in with her issues with men.
After the induction she signaled that it was safe to be open to
any memories and emotions that might come up. Via the affect
bridge Charlene regressed to the age of seven. She was in the
second grade in Catholic School, where there were 80 children in
class. The nun asked a question and Charlene stood up to answer.
"You're so bold, Miss Charlene," the nun said to her in a critical
tone, and she felt squashed. When I had Charlene move into a
Gestalt dialogue she started shaking and I directed her to intensify
the shaking in her w~ole body. As the energy was released the
shaking subsided.
Charlene had developed a "toughie" attitude, with a rebel
ingrained in her personality. As our work with this childhood
experience progressed, Charlene softened somewhat and felt that
she could let go of the rebel persona. I commended her for having
such wisdom at age seven. After substantial, albeit emotionally
subdued therapy that included awareness processes, dialogue,
insights by her adult and child parts and positive suggestions, I
asked if there had been any other major issue before the age of
seven. She signaled yes. Further ideomotor questioning, however,
determined that after all our progress, this was a good time to
complete the session. We concluded with some further positive
posthypnotic suggestions.
A week later in class Charlene stated that she wanted to be free
and not react to the abuse from her childhood. She noted that there
were a lot of negative things in her past but there were glimmers
of light as well. She gave examples of how her dad would show
her things in nature and teach her art and how her mother would
make little things with her. "It wasn't all terrible."
She also said that when she was 24 and her brother was 26, he
committed suicide. There had been many times when they were
growing up that he had beaten her badly. She described him as
mean and tormenting, saying he often made things very difficult
for her. A week before his suicide he started opening up to her and
she did her best to help out. When he took his life he left a long
suicide note and said, "Don't blame my sister."
Because he was living close to her at the time it was left to her
to call her mother and give her the news. It was one of the hardest
things she had to do and her emotions were mixed. She felt relief,
embarrassment, and the feeling that it was "a real pain in the butt"
to deal with. She also expressed concern that she didn't feel much
grief. I told her it was okay, that she didn't necessarily need to feel
grief.
We both remembered that the ideomotor signal toward the
end of the earlier session hadn't been followed up on and agreed
that it would be good to check that out. Her affirmative signal
had been in response to, "Is there any other major issue before the
age of seven?" I hadn't wanted to make any assumptions about
whether or not she needed to go to some other experience(s), but
I did feel that it was important to start by checking it out with
further ideomotor questioning.
Once she was in hypnosis, she again signaled acceptance to
her memories and emotions regarding difficulties from her past.
Then I asked whether it would be a good idea to go back to earlier
experiences before the age of seven. She signaled no. I said that
was fine, there could be any number of reasons for that signal. For
example, a "no" response could be because experiences before that
were not as significant as the other experience, or it was significant
but she had already worked through it.
Since the hypnotic induction she had been squirming around
quite a bit and I turned that movement into a deepening process,
suggesting that the more she squirmed the deeper into hypnosis
she would go. Then I asked, "Is your conscious mind aware of
why you signaled no?" and she signaled yes. I asked, "Is there
something you'd like to say about that?" She said that she felt it
was not so important currently to do that. She went on to say that

she didn't feel she needed to own her anger so much, but rather
that she needed to let go of it.
Charlene said she felt more sadness than anger now and she
wanted to forgive her father and her brother. Then she caught
herself and said that the issue was really about forgiving herself
for not having forgiven her father. Charlene told how her father
had pleaded with her before he died to forgive him and she
didn't want to. As we explored this, she recalled that in her
mind she hadn't felt that forgiving him would help him, and
that insight helped her to now forgive herself. She felt the relief
of that, and it was simple. She also forgave herself regarding
her brother.
During this process of forgiving herself I had asked her to go
within and experience how she felt. She said she felt like she was
in knots. I asked her to arrange her body into knots, then as she
succeeded in untangling herself, the feelings dissipated. When she
finished I suggested that she notice how easy it was to untie herself
if she got "tied up in knots."
At different times during the second session Charlene struggled
to get words out and her body would make movements. I would
watch the struggle for a time and then ask if that was enough. Each
time she responded promptly with, "I want to stop here now." I
supported and encouraged her, saying that in life and in all the
struggles she'd been through, she had done enough. "You don't
need to do that anymore." Charlene's body became very relaxed
and loosened up. Her arms opened to her sides as she became limp
and mellow. It was a real letting go experience that seemed to be
working on multiple levels.
Considering her early abuse issues I suggested that Charlene
choose an ideal loving parent, either from life or from television or
film, that could be an example of a really loving parent. I further
suggested that she could have that person as a part of her, loving
her inner child.
During our posthypnotic discussion Charlene said that when
she was growing up she had gotten angry over and over again,
and she felt that for her to get angry now would be to add fuel to
fire. She was a feisty kid and had stuck up for herself. She didn't
want to go there anymore. The anger was too close to the violence
for her and not a way to transcend it. This had been a learning
experience for her in how to do that. Different therapists had told
her that she needed to own her anger and needed to get angry. She
appreciated that in this session she had been allowed to go where
she needed to go. It was like a dance, as happens in therapy.
Fritz Perls encouraged dealing with what emerges, pointing
out that Gestalt is much more than a group of techniques and
has to do with becoming whole. I do hypnotherapy, including
any applicable Gestalt, from a context of being flexible, with the
bigger perspective in mind. In some ways this session obviously
didn't fit into normal Gestalt-oriented regression work. It was
more important to support her in letting some feelings subside and
learning to let go. Charlene looked radiant and soft afterwards.
Interview One Week After the Second Session

RANDAL: (to class) As Charlene said at the time, this was
not about owning her anger, which is an issue for a lot of people.
This was about letting go of things and finding other ways. (to
Charlene) How are you doing?
CHARLENE: I'm doing pretty well. It feels like the process is really
continuing. I feel lighter. I didn't know that I felt heavy (laughing), but
I feel much lighter than I did before we had the two sessions.
RANDAL: It's often a snowballing effect in which a person
makes a breakthrough and some improvement, and then continues
to expand it. What happened in the past is dealt with and then
there is also a relearning and dealing with neuropathways and
mental expectancies as new habit patterns get developed.
CHARLENE: Yes. Well, it's not that it's been one continuing
train of feeling freer but I haven't really gone into any deep
negativity. A lot of memories have surfaced that I've had before but
they're refreshed, and I've been able to make a lot of connections
in new ways with some of the old familiar memories as a result of
the work that we did.
RANDAL: That's great. When you refer to feeling much lighter
do you feel that in a particular place like your chest or shoulders or
do you feel it in your whole body?
CHARLENE: I think it's whole body.
RANDAL: Are there any particular feelings or insights off the top
of your head about your mother or father or brother or any of that?
CHARLENE: Oh yeah! (laughing) How much time do we

have?
RANDAL: Take whatever time you would like.
CHARLENE: I did want to say something about that catharsis
issue, very briefly. When I got to that part in the session of stating
what I had to say to my father and then to my brother I recall saying,
"You're no longer in this body and in this personality." That really
helped me and stayed with me because I just had a sense of deeper
freedom from the abusive experience with them now that they are
both deceased. They' re really gone in the sense of how I experience
them and who I knew them to be.
After our session my holding onto those experiences in
whatever way I held onto them, seemed to be so self-defeating.
It made sense to let them go. I couldn't let go in earlier times in
my life even if it was the sensible thing to do. But after the session
it made sense on multi-levels, not just on an intellectual level. It
made emotional sense. It made spiritual sense. I had something
to propel me. The session helped me to get there. Does that make
sense?
RANDAL: Yes. This is so important. It's not just about
understanding something, but working on it from the depth we
get to in hypnosis and refrarning the whole experience. You were
able to be there as a child but you had all the forms of support of
your adult self and me. The insights that come are much deeper
and affect the subconscious mind directly. More multi-layered,
more complex, more all-encompassing in many cases.
CHARLENE: Yes. So that's a bit about my dad and my brother.
And then my mother is still alive.
RANDAL: In fact you mentioned at the beginning of our last
session that you had talked to her the day after the first session.
You got some information from her about her not having enough
milk for you, and so forth. There were things like that that you
thought might be issues.
CHARLENE: I'm taking care of her now. She's not living with
me, but she's nearby. I'm the only one left in the family so I'm
tending to her a lot.
RANDAL: May I ask how old she is?
CHARLENE: She just had her 84th birthday a couple of days
ago. She's a diabetic and has recovered from a stroke. She never
had a day of therapy in her life and I've learned over the years a
very important thing about my relationship with her. I've asked
her for information to help me recover from the childhood abuse
and I've pushed many times to the point of upsetting her deeply. I
actually pushed so hard one time that she fainted. So I've learned
that taking care of my need for healing doesn't mean that I have
to push my mother beyond where she can go. I'm learning how to
ask her for information without going too far.
RANDAL: That's really good. It's clear that's been a part of
your process, that you learned to do a balancing act with that
perspective. You said earlier that you wanted to say something
about catharsis?
CHARLENE: Yes. Catharsis has been a very significant issue
for me. Growing up in my family, there was a lot of violence -
emotional and psychological, as well as physical. My response
to it, as fi:1r as I can remember, was to fight hard physically and
verbally. I'm half Sicilian and half Russian Jew. The Sicilian side,
especially, was just to yell it out. So there was a lot of yelling and
expressions of anger going on. Not to say it was in a healthy way.
It didn't feel therapeutic at all, but it was coming out. I was not in
a situation where I was repressed and tight lipped.
In the therapeutic processes that I've been through over twenty
five years or so, I've run into situations where therapists want me
to yell and scream and pound pillows and kick and do all of the
things that I think are good for lots of people to do. My response
has often been that I don't want to do that and still I have some
doubt about whether that's correctly been called resistance and
denial or whether it's my true inner nature telling me that's not the
way that I need to go about healing.
RANDAL: I would think the latter with that. Because of your
background and your experience you have been so expressive
in the past with yourself that you've had to learn a new way. I
validate and honor that. I trust that in your case that's now the best
solution for you.
CHARLENE: Thank you. I really appreciated in these two
sessions that you didn't insist upon that. I was able to go a more
gentle route in getting to what I needed to get to in the healing
process. At this point I just don't feel inclined to do any kind of
violent expressiveness. I have more trust in myself after these
sessions that the gentle route is the right route for me and that
these sessions helped me to get there with that.
RANDAL: This isn't very gentle but I'm going to do it. (raises a
fist in victory, as the class and Charlene laugh) Yes, right on. We're
celebrating with you.
CHARLENE: Right on, yes. And that's been really hard because
what I would do is get into these mental games with myself. A part
of me would say, "You're kidding yourself. You have to do some
exploding. You haven't exploded out yet." And then I would feel
like I was much more repressed and in denial or not owning my
anger. It was so confusing to go that direction. It didn't work. To
think, well, I'm past that. I'm going to go with the gentle route and
that's where I'm at with this.
RANDAL: Great. You look really good. (to the class) Doesn't
she look great? (chorus of "Yes!") I don't know how to say it -
your energy or your aura. You have a lightness. It's in your body
language. It's in your face. It's in your voice. You're doing great
work. Keep on track. (applause)
CHAPTER 9
Virginia's Desire for a

Healthy Relationship
The Extremely Dysfenctional Family
Note: Experienced therapists can be well aware of the language

that is sometimes used by clients during emotional sessions. The
transcripts in this book, which are actual sessions, are not censored.
It is beneficial for the student to become acquainted with a range
of possible cathartic reactions and communication, as well as to
accurately demonstrate the realism of the work.
RANDAL: What would you like to work on?

VIRGINIA: I'd really like to have a healthy relationship. I'll
be 50 in July and I've never been married. I have a lot of mixed
feelings about marriage. I've had opportunities but I've never
gone ahead with that. I'm not going to put out a shingle and say,
"Hey, anybody want to get married?" It's not like that. I just hope
that sometime in the future I'll be able to feel comfortable with
the idea. I don't want to get into my big story but there is a little
story, if I could just tell that. I don't have a role model for healthy
relationships. Even though my mother and father stayed married,
they didn't have a healthy situation going on.
RANDAL: You've said some things in class about the terrible
difficulties you and your siblings had growing up. To put it mildly,
this was not a healthy environment.
VIRGINIA: The other concern I have is that among my

brothers and sisters there is no one who seems to be normal in the
family. (starting to cry) My brother is a schizophrenic. (speaking
haltingly) Just be with me if you can, please. My brother has had
shock treatments since he was 13 and he would come home to visit
sometimes. (crying) And I love him but he has challenges. And my
other brother is in jail because he's a pedophile ... (voice breaking)
because ... I'm sorry. I'm getting into the whole story.
RANDAL: There is nothing to be sorry for. Stay in touch with
your feelings and do or say anything you want.
VIRGINIA: Thank you. So both my little brother, who is a year
younger than me, and my sister, who is two years younger, were
molested when they were children. I was supposed to be watching
them but I didn't know they were next door. The man next door
claimed he was a Christian and he was going to take them to see
God ... (sobbing) but he abused them. My brother and then my little
sister. My sister hates me because I let her down so she doesn't
want anything to do with me, and my mother doesn't like me
because I'm thin and I remind her of my father's ex-wife. I wasn't
allowed to sit on my father 's lap and I wasn't allowed to goof off
because I was always the one in charge. I'm the second oldest but
my brother couldn't be in charge so if anything happened it was
on me. It was my fault.
I feel disassociated. (sobbing and talking in a little girl's voice)
I want to connect with everyone here and I try to be good. I try
so hard to be what I think I'm supposed to be ... to be nice and
to be spiritual. I just want everything to be calm. I don't want to
get mad. I don't want to get upset. I'm just really trying to hold it
together but I feel so disconnected.
RANDAL: You don't have to hold it together. I know what
you're saying in general, but now is not the time to hold it
together.
VIRGINIA: I know. I'm sorry.
RANDAL: You're doing fine. I'd like you to stand up and move
over here. (Randal helps her to move into a reclining chair and
puts a blanket over her) Does this position feel comfortable?
VIRGINIA: Yes.
(Since Virginia is so emotional she is already in a hypnotic state
and Randal wants her to stay close to her feelings. She's accessing
Virginia 's Desire for a Healthy Relationship 143
important information and feelings, and now is a good time for the
formal hypnotic process. The "induction" is really a deepening, so
it will be exceptionally brief, and the initial ideomotor questioning
will be brief as well.)
RANDAL: Follow my fingers down. (moving his hand down in
front of her face until her eyes close) At the count of one your eyes
are locked tightly closed. Three, eyes sealing together. Two, sealing
as if they were glued. Number one, go ahead and try to open them
but they're stuck together. (Virginia tries but her eyes stay closed)
Now just relax, stop trying and go deeper. Breathe down into your
stomach. (Virginia takes a big breath) That's right. Feel whatever
you feel in your body right now. (to the class) I encourage everyone
in the class to ground yourselves.
(to Virginia) I'm going to ask you some ideomotor questions
now for answers from your subconscious mind. I'd like you to rest
your hands right here for the moment. (Randal arranges her hands
on top of her thighs) Visualize the word "yes" until a certain finger
begins to lift upward. There is a certain finger that is your "yes"
finger. (Virginia's left index finger moves) It's the index finger of
your left hand. Now think the word "no" until a certain finger
begins to rise. There is a certain finger that is your "no" finger.
(Virginia's left little finger moves) Thank you. It's the little finger
of your left hand. There is a certain finger that is your "I don't
know" finger, in case your subconscious mind doesn't know the
answer to something. Keep thinking "I don't know" until a certain
finger comes up. (Virginia's left middle finger moves) It's your
middle finger. And if your subconscious mind doesn't know how
to answer a question then you could signal with another finger.
(Virginia's left thumb moves) That's fine.
Virginia, there are a lot of issues that go back to your childhood.
My question to you is regarding emotional trauma. Is it safe and
appropriate for you to go back to recall any and all memories from
your childhood having to do with issues such as blame and guilt
and anger and fear? (Virginia's face is tense and she is crying) Is
it safe and appropriate for you to do that? (Virginia's index finger
moves) The answer to the question is yes. The other question I
want to ask you now, is it safe and appropriate for you to be open
to your emotions as you recall any and all feelings having to do
with such challenging issues as fear, guilt, anger, blame and so
on? (Virginia's index finger moves) The answer to the question

is yes.
All right, Virginia. As you're well aware, I'm here and we're
all here to support you. While a lot of these feelings and memories
are not pleasant, are certainly challenging, you're going to get
through this just fine. You can express whatever feelings you need
to express. It's a good time to get them out. Such feelings need to
come out in whatever way they want in order to get this out of
your system.
VIRGINIA: (in a little voice) I'm cold.
RANDAL: We want you to take care of yourself. (another
blanket is brought and put over her and the thermostat is turned
up) Keep breathing. Breathe down into your stomach. Are you
starting to get a little warmer?
VIRGINIA: Uh huh.
RANDAL: Is there anything else you want to say at this time?
VIRGINIA: I'm concerned about my disassociation and about
not being grounded, being always in the air. It's like not being
in my body. I realized in an exercise we did in class earlier that
the reason I always hurt myself is because I'm so disassociated.
I put myself in challenging physical situations in order to feel
alive because I feel so numb all the time. I want to feel something
and I'm not connected, so then I get hurt because I don't think
about consequences. Thank God I have a strong spiritual force that
protects me.
One time when I was riding my horse I hurt my fingers and
my back and that changed my life. I had a message or a feeling
that something was going to happen but I didn't listen. I need to
really know, to validate the truth within me, that when I hear·that
inner message I need to pay more attention. I'm concerned because
I want to be in my body. I get afraid sometimes but I want to feel
the things I'm afraid of.
RANDAL: Put the part of you that numbs you and
disassociates you from your body out there in front of you. Since
it's so disassociated it might already be outside of you. What do
you want to say to the part of you that does that?
VIRGINIA: Why do you do that?
RANDAL: Can you make a statement rather than asking why?
Tell her what you want from her.
Virginia's Desire for a Healthy Relationship 145
VIRGINIA: I want you to be a part of me, to connect with me

so I can feel you and so I can feel everything around me. I want to
be in touch with what's going on.
RANDAL: Good. Now when I touch you on your right shoulder
switch and be that part of you that has been disassociating yourself
and numbing you. At the count of one be her and you can respond.
Three, two, one. (Randal taps her shoulder)
VIRGINIA: It hurts too much to feel and you couldn't handle
it if you had to feel it. I'm protecting you.
RANDAL: All right. I'm going to count to one again and touch
your shoulder and you switch and be Virginia. Three, two, one.
(Randal taps her shoulder)
VIRGINIA: (in a little girl voice) You don't have the right to
say that. It's my whole life passing me by. (sobbing softly) And I'm
not getting it. I'm not really feeling it. I'm hurting myself trying to
feel it. That's not fair. I get to make the decision and I want to feel.
I want to!
RANDAL: When I touch your shoulder switch and be the
disassociating part. (Randal continues to tap her shoulder each
time she switches)
VIRGINIA: But I love you. Really, I went through it too. I saw
everything and I felt everything. It's really much better not to feel.
You can just be quiet and peaceful. It's better that way.
RANDAL: Switch and be Virginia.
VIRGINIA: I'm only living half a life. I can be quiet and peaceful
and I'm thankful that you love me and want to help, but please
understand that it would be so much better if we could just... I'm
not a little girl anymore. I've grown up a lot and I can do it now.
You've just been looking at the past but look at me now. I can do it.
I know I'm crying but most of the time I am grown up. I'm really
doing some amazing things. Can you just look at me?
RANDAL: I want to say that grown-ups cry, too. Switch and be
that disassociated part.
VIRGINIA: Well, I see you and you are growing up. That's
true. Maybe I haven't given you enough credit lately because I've
been so busy protecting you and protecting me. That's been my job
for a long time. I really care about you. I want to serve you and I
thought I was doing a great job with that. You've been a lot calmer
lately and it felt good to me because I didn't like all the chaos before
either. It seemed like you were attracting calmer people to you and
that felt good, too. I guess I'm doing it for you but, honestly, I'm
doing it for me because it felt really good to me to be numbed out
and peaceful and calm all the time.
RANDAL: That's a lot of important information. Now be
Virginia.
VIRGINIA: It's okay to be peaceful and calm and I like that,
but what I'm concerned about is the disassociation and the
compensation, the things I'm doing to make up for it. I put myself
in risky situations so I can feel stimulated and alive. I don't think
that's a good thing. I'm concerned about my ability to be authentic
and to connect with people in a real way and have feelings. I know
you let me feel at a movie and I can cry at a movie, but I don't want
it always to be imaginary or make-believe. I want to live in the
present. Can't we do something about this?
RANDAL: Change that question to a statement.
VIRGINIA: I want to do something about this. I want you to
let go and support me in this because I really want to move ahead.
I'm adamant about this.
RANDAL: Switch.
VIRGINIA: Wow, you've never even spoken to me before.
I'm surprised that you're saying all this. I thought I was doing a
great job and all. I mean, look at you. You can't even talk about it
without crying. How do you think you're going to do if I let all
this stuff in and you start feeling? What's going to happen? Just
by talking about this you started shaking. You got all cold and you
were crying. Do you really think you can do this?
RANDAL: Make that a statement.
VIRGINIA: Virginia, I don't think you could take it. I don't
think you could do it.
RANDAL: Okay, switch.
VIRGINIA: Just because I cry, I'm not a bad person. And I'm
not a weak person just because I cry. I've been hoping for a long
time and I don't always think about it.
RANDAL: Good. Now add, "It's okay for me to cry."
VIRGINIA: It's okay for me to cry.
RANDAL: Let's switch and be the other part.
VIRGINIA: It would be very hard for me to really let go
because I'm hurt, too. This is where I live. This is who I am and
I'm a big part of you. It's my issue, too, because I saw it and I'm
uncomfortable with it.
RANDAL: Now speak for yourself. (Randal is talking to the
disassociated part, but note that Virginia will answer as herself,
perhaps because of the literalness of the subconscious in response
to that sentence) Do you feel comfortable saying, "If you want to
feel that, that's fine, but I don't want to feel it." Something to that
effect. Does it seem right to say somethirlg like that? (Virginia's
index finger moves) All right, go ahead.
VIRGINIA: Okay, that's fine. Then you feel any way you want
to feel and do what you have to do for you. But I need to free
myself somehow from this whole thing and do what I need to do
for me. This is a really important time in my life. I'm experiencing a
lot of good things and a lot of growth. I feel like I'm feeling things,
and with or without your help, I'm beginning to understand
things that I didn't understand before. I used to be with you and
I wanted to put it all out of my mind and make it a happy little
day. But sometimes it isn't going to be a happy little day. We can't
make it perfect all the time. Life isn't perfect. You went through a
lot of challenges physically lately and you can see how life isn't
always perfect, right? But even so, even though life isn't perfect,
it's still worth living. It's still worth being present. Do you want to
go through your whole life and then at the end say, "Where's my
life?"
I think it's going to be a lot more fun if we live it and really
get in touch with stuff. We can do that. And so we get pissed off.
That's okay. And you could have said something to that man who
stepped on you, I mean what was that about? I'm mad because
you didn't even look up and say, "Hey, you stepped on me, you
son-of-a-bitch!" Why didn't you say anything? You just let him
walk by and figured, oh, it'll take care of itself. You have to stand
up for yourself and I'm a part of that. I'm standing up for myself.
I'm not taking it anymore. I want to live. I want to be happy. If
I'm sad I want to feel sadness. If I'm mad I want to be angry but
handle it. Not like a baby and whine, but in an appropriate way.
Take responsibility. I want to be connected to every aspect. I know
I can do it. You're either with me or you're not, but so be it. ·
RANDAL: Switch and respond.
VIRGINIA: Whoa! Oh boy.
RANDAL: Come back and go inside your body right now.

What do you feel?
VIRGINIA: I feel powerful.
RANDAL: Where do you feel powerful or how do you feel that?
VIRGINIA: I feel like I can breathe and so much of the time I
can't breathe. I feel like my lungs are open and no one is laying on
me. (note that this organ language will turn out to be more than
symbolic in light of Virginia's communication to her mother and
her brother further into this session) And my heart's not skipping.
It's pumping hard. It's strong. I feel good.
RANDAL: Your subconscious mind is discovering in more ways
than it knew before, how good it is for you to express yourself.
VIRGINIA: Yes!
RANDAL: Notice how powerful you are when you express
yourself.
VIRGINIA: It's very good.
RANDAL: Be in touch with your body and feel your ability to
breathe deep down into your lungs and stomach. Notice if there is
anything else that you feel generally in your body, or if you want
to elaborate on your breathing.
VIRGINIA: I feel that my head is connected and I'm feeling
all my parts. It's hard to explain but I feel solid instead of airy and
numb. I feel alive. I feel good, connected. That's important. It feels
really good.
RANDAL: Feel how it feels to be alive right now.
VIRGINIA: It's good!
RANDAL: Where do you feel alive in particular?
VIRGINIA: I feel alive in my legs, in my abdomen, in my pelvis,
in my hips. It's very strong.
RANDAL: Is there a feeling associated with that aliveness?
VIRGINIA: It's like I'm beginning to feel heat. Getting warm.
And it emanates from my stomach down my legs and up my body.
It's right in the middle and moving.
RANDAL: Feel that moving energy in your body.
VIRGINIA: It's nice.
RANDAL: Feel that aliveness in your pelvis, your hips,
your stomach. Feel it throughout your body. Intellectually you
understood that before but you're getting it subconsciously on a
deeper level now. How good it is for you to express yourself. There
are many appropriate ways to express your anger or your grief or

your fear or whatever the feeling is. If you want to cry there are
many times and places where you can feel safe to do that. Often
when you're in touch with a feeling you can find a good way to
express it and get it out of your system.
VIRGINIA: The middle part feels good but there's like a
trembling going on from the lower part of my thighs down toward
my feet. And in the upper part of my body it feels like shaking
from my heart up.
RANDAL: Stay with it. That trembling is a part of your
aliveness. Just let yourself shake. In fact, exaggerate it. Shake your
body. (Virginia moves her body and arms and legs and builds into
intense shaking) That's good. Shake your whole body. Get all that
energy out of your body. Release that energy! (Virginia's legs and
arms are flailing out and her hair is flying all around) Get that
energy out of your system! (Virginia is breathing in deep gasps
and making loud noises) That's good! Stay with your feelings.
Breathe down into your stomach. (taking the blanket away) I don't
think you need this blanket anymore. Feel your warmth, feel that
energy in your pelvis. (Virginia's legs are rhythmically kicking up
and down) Just allow your legs to do what they want to do, which
is kicking up and down right now.
VIRGINIA: (kicking and breathing deeply) Okay.
RANDAL: As you continue to kick up and down like that I
want you to say, "I can be me."
VIRGINIA: (in a powerful voice) I can be me.
RANDAL: "I am me."
VIRGINIA: I am me.
RANDAL: "I can say whatever I want to say."
VIRGINIA: I can say whatever I want to say.
RANDAL: Now bring your sister here and tell her off.
VIRGINIA: (Virginia's face scrunches up and she puts two
fingers to her mouth, speaking once again in a little girl's voice)
Oh, dear.
RANDAL: Tell her whatever you want to say.
VIRGINIA: (crying) I really love you and I wish you cared
about me, too. And I'm sorry if I did anything to you when you
were little. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry I let you down. I wish I
didn't. Please forgive me.
RANDAL: Keep breathing into your stomach. Switch and be

your sister. What does she say in response to that?
VIRGINIA: (voice turning cold and hard) You are so weak and
so pathetic. And you are so stupid.
RANDAL: Tell her what's stupid about her.
VIRGINIA: (voice getting big again) The way you act, the way
you talk. You big phony. You always try to be so sweet and so good
but you're just manipulative. You're a manipulative little bitch. I
can't stand you. If I had a gun I'd just take it to your head and blow
your brains out.
RANDAL: I know that really is what your mother told you,
that your sister said she would take a gun to your head the next
time she saw you. You talked about that before. Switch and be
Virginia. Breathe into your stomach. What do you want to say to
your sister?
VIRGINIA: (voice whiny and like a little girl) I care about you
but I'm so tired of caring what you think and being put down by
you. Always feeling I'm not good enough because I'm not as smart
as you, because I don't have a Master's Degree like you do, for all
the reasons that you think I'm pathetic. Because I'm not strong in
your estimation. I'm just tired. I'm me. I have good qualities, too. I
would be happy to do anything I could to support you as a human
being but I just wish, I know you don't like me, but if you could
just accept me that would be great.
RANDAL: Switch and be your sister.
VIRGINIA: {voice big and loud) Why can't you ever just stand
up for yourself?
RANDAL: Make that a statement.
VIRGINIA: Just stand up for yourself. I mean, you're doing the
same thing you've done all along. You make excuses. You don't
stand up for yourself. How would anyone... I don't want to be
with you because you're a weak person. It just makes me sick.
RANDAL: Say, "You make me sick."
VIRGINIA: You're a weak person and you make me sick.
You're a phony person, too. You're not real. You think you can
get by on being sweet and cute and how you look. And that's not
what it' s about. It's about using your brain and articulating. It's
about reading and getting an education and not going on about
your holistic deal and your health food and all that shit. It's about
getting the education. Getting the degrees. I'm getting my Ph.D.

What do you have? Nothing. Hello.
RANDAL: Be Virginia.
VIRGINIA: I do have something. I've gone to college. I don't
have what you have but I have an education. And I have a Ph.D. in
Results. I work with people all the time and I get great results. I'm
a master at what I do. And I don't just do it, I walk my talk. To you
my holistic stuff might be shit but it works for me. And I would
like to share it with you, if you were open, but it's obvious that
you're not and that's okay. I can live with that. I've apologized,
I've prayed about our relationship, and it's time for me to let it go.
I'm going to put it out to you one more time. If you ever want to
be friends I love you, I care about you, but I'm not going to live
my life grieving over a relationship that we have not had since
you left the house 18 years ago. I'm not going to grieve over it
anymore. And I'm not going to feel that I'm a bad person because
you and Mom hate me. And not to be mean, but you have your
challenges, too.
RANDAL: Right now be mean to your sister. Put her down.
Tell her what's wrong with her.
VIRGINIA: (in a little voice) Oh, dear. Nancy, you know
you have a hateful attitude and you bully people. You're really
intelligent and I admire that, and you have a great sense of humor.
But you have a way of using your cutting, sarcastic intellect and
really making people around you feel belittled and I think that's
really hurtful. (voice is getting stronger) I think that's really mean.
I think that's nasty. And you seem to enjoy it. You're on a power
trip and for whatever reason, you are my younger sister, but you
always made me feel like I was the younger sister. You always made
me feel like I couldn't do anything as well as you, but that's ... I'm
putting blame on you now and that's not what it's about. I realize
that, but in my opinion you were a very nasty, mean woman and I
know I haven't been married even once. You've been married three
times and it's still not working out and you're not married now.
(laughter from the class)
RANDAL: Good. Now switch and be Nancy.
VIRGINIA: I can't believe that you have the nerve to talk to
me that way. I'm just floored. But you know, I have to hand it to
you. I like you better when you just tell me what you think finally,
rather than cry and play the martyr and the victim. I'm sick of that
shit. This is the first time I've had even that much respect for you.
(holding her index finger and thumb an inch apart) I'm so glad
you're finally speaking up for yourself. It doesn't hurt me.
RANDAL: Good. Switch and be Virginia.
VIRGINIA: (incredulous) Really? (laughter)
RANDAL: (to the group) Now you see the sides are beginning
to come together. Her sister just sort of gave her a compliment.
VIRGINIA: Wow, okay. Well, you're a fucking bitch.
(laughter)
RANDAL: Good for you. Say that again.
VIRGINIA: (slowly and deliberately) You are a fucking
bitch.
RANDAL: Good. Let's see what your sister has to say to that.
VIRGINIA: (clapping her hands) Bravo, lady. Bravo. Bring it
on. Have you got any more for me? Give me your best shot.
VIRGINIA: (laughing) You are a mean, fucking bitch. (laughter)
And not only that, you have a polarity disorder. I mean you are
sort of psycho. You have your ups and downs and you really go off
your rocker sometimes. Maybe that's what you're sensing when
you're feeling bad about me. It's really stuff that's going on about
you. So why don't you just keep all of your psychological babble
to yourself and try to figure yourself out before you come trying to
figure me out. I like my life and I like what I'm doing and I respect
myself. And you know what? I like who I am. I'm proud of myself.
I'm proud of you, too. I know I was supposed to beat you up more
but I am proud of you and I do love you.
RANDAL: Say whatever you feel. It's all good. Now be
Nancy.
VIRGINIA: I just say, wow. I'm so glad that you're finally being
real. And you know what? I do love you and I care about you,
too, but I've just been waiting for the day when you could be a
real person instead of being such a child. I've always felt like you
were so needy and so dependent. I have all these kids I work with
as a probation officer and they all need me. I didn't need to have
another kid around. You're my older sister. I wanted someone I
could respect and I'm beginning to see that person in you now and
I'm glad. It's good. Good for you.
RANDAL: All right. Be Virginia.

VIRGINIA: .Thank you. (giggle) I tell you what. We can live
our lives in separation or if you ever feel like dropping me a line
the ball is in your court. (her voice has gotten big and confident, as
Nancy's has been all along) If you ever want to talk to me again,
open to some real conversation, then if there's something you say
that I don't like or I don't agree with I'm just going to say it like it
is because I know that that's where we are now. Heel really good
about that.
RANDAL: Be Nancy.
VIRGINIA:· Well, I look forward to that and I don't know if
I'll be calling you any time soon, but if I ever get the urge to talk
to you I will. I appreciate that. I'm glad we had an opportunity to
clear the air here.
RANDAL: Very good. Do you have anything further to say to
your sister?
VIRGINIA: I wish you well in your life.
RANDAL: And Nancy, is there anything further you have to
say to Virginia?
VIRGINIA: I wish good things for you as well.
RANDAL: Can you say goodbye to Virginia for now? (Virginia .
waves her hand) All right. Be Virginia and say goodbye to your
sister. (she waves her hand again) Get in touch with your body.
What do you feel inside your body right now?
VIRGINIA: I feel good.
RANDAL: Anything else?
VIRGINIA: Just warm and nice. It's like that gentle strength
where I'm strong but at peace. It's a nice blend, which is better.
RANDAL: You deserve to feel good. Feel that nice blend. And
your subconscious mind is learning right now that there are many
ways for you to feel good. And ironically, despite what we might
have been taught when we were younger, to express ourselves,
including our anger and our other feelings, can help us to feel
good and can even be good for others. You're finding good ways
to express your anger, and sometimes by just telling the truth. It's
good for you to express your truth. It's good for you to stand up
for yourself and to tell somebody off who deserves it.
VIRGINIA: Can I talk to my mom?
RANDAL: You may talk to your mom. Your mom is here.
VIRGINIA: (once again in a little voice) I'm really upset with

you. I feel like you never really wanted me and I never had a role
model. You were like a little child. You weren't really an adult the
way you acted. You were always hitting me and when I'd tell Dad
then you'd get hit. It was just terrible. I kept getting hit because
you were hitting me and you said I was a snitch. That's not what
a mother says to her daughter. A mother is supposed to love her
child, not stick glass in her finger and hurt her. (crying) It's wrong!
What's wrong with you? (making pointing gestures in the air)
You're a bad mother! You're a bad mother!
RANDAL: What does your mother say in response?
VIRGINIA: I did the best I could with you children. I was
very young and I didn't know any different. You know, you're
grandfather abused all of us and your grandmother abused us and
we ... I just did what I learned and what I thought was best. And
you needed to obey. You just needed to be in charge of the little
ones and you never did it right.
VIRGINIA: You can't expect a six year-old child, a five year-old
child, to be doing everything right. I was just a child. And anyway,
at that age I protected you and you would have been dead if it
wasn't for me. I helped you and you didn't take care of me. I took
care of you. Why were you so against me? I tried to be a good
daughter.
RANDAL: Make it into a stronger statement.
VIRGINIA: I was a good daughter.
RANDAL: Good.
VIRGINIA: I was good!
RANDAL: And say, "You didn't take care of me."
VIRGINIA: You didn't take care of me.
RANDAL: What does your mom say?
VIRGINIA: Who was there to take care of me? Your father was
constantly beating me. He was gone and when he would come
home he'd be drinking and he'd beat me all the time. Who took
care of me? I had all you brats around, having to take care of you
all the time. We didn't have any money. We didn't know where our
next meal was coming from. I had a lot of pressure on me. I didn't
have time to take care of you. I had to try to take care of myself.
RANDAL: Switch and be Virginia.
VIRGINIA: (crying) Then why did you have us? You didn't
have any resources and you had no love to give.
RANDAL: Make that into a statement and say, "Then you
shouldn't have had us," or something like that.
VIRGINIA: Then you shouldn't have had children because you
didn't deserve children. (crying) You didn't deserve them.
RANDAL: Switch.
VIRGINIA: We didn't plan it. It just happened that we had
children. We didn't believe in abortion so that's just how it worked
out.
RANDAL: Switch.
VIRGINIA: So it just happened. You never wanted any of us.
Is that it?
RANDAL: Switch.
VIRGINIA: We didn't plan for it. We didn't have the money.
But once we had you we tried to do the best we could.
VIRGINIA: Why say "we"? You don't have to bring Dad into
it. You! What's your thing? Even if you don't have money you can
have love. You can choose to love. You can hug a child. You can tell
a child that they're good. That's not about money. It's just about
compassion. You say you're a Christian and then you say, "You're
not living by the Bible. Honor thy father and thy mother!" while
you're beating me. How can I honor you when you're hurting me?
That's not fair.
RANDAL: It's so good for you to tell her how you feel. You're
doing great. Now switch.
VIRGINIA: (crying) Spare the rod and spoil the child. We had
to beat it out of you because you were bad. You're bad! Very bad!
RANDAL: Switch.
VIRGINIA: (shouting and crying) I'm not bad! I'm good. I'm
a good girl!
RANDAL: Tell your mom she's bad.
VIRGINIA: (still crying and shouting, her index finger pointing
and gesturing in the air) You're bad! You're bad!
RANDAL: Go inside your body right now. What are you
feeling? (Virginia covers her face with her hands and begins to sob)
Feel your feelings. It's okay to cry. Take your hands away and let
yourself cry. (Virginia's hands are now in fists) You're putting a
tremendous amount of tension in your hands. (placing a big pillow

in front of her) Put that tension in this pillow and tell your mother
that she's bad.
VIRGINIA: (sobbing and squeezing the pillow) You're bad!
You're a bad mother! You really hurt me and I think you're bad!
RANDAL: Good. Breathe down into your stomach and relax.
Go inside your body. What do you feel?
VIRGINIA: Confused. Like I have a knot still. (reaching behind
her neck) I just want to unravel it.
RANDAL: How do you unravel that knot? Do you do it with a
pillow or in the air or what?
VIRGINIA: It's back here. (reaching behind her neck again)
RANDAL: Okay, let your whole body become the knot.
(Virginia leans forward and entwines her arms around her legs)
That's right.
VIRGINIA: (hugging her legs) Tight. Real tight.
RANDAL: All right. Now that you feel yourself as the knot,
put that tightness into the pillow.
VIRGINIA: (in a little voice) Okay.
RANDAL: Put it into her. This is your mother. Put it back into
her. Squeeze her.
VIRGINIA: (squeezing the pillow and making noises) You did
it! It's all your fault. Now I'm doing it to you, just the way you sat
on me and pushed me and didn't let me breathe. Now I'm doing
it to you!
RANDAL: Say, "I'm choking you now."
VIRGINIA: I'm choking you.
RANDAL: Choke her.
VIRGINIA: You did it! You did it! You bit me and said, "Oh,
look at the choo choo train tracks." (shouting) There's no choo
choo train. It hurts! (breaking into sobs) It hurt.
RANDAL: Say, "I'm hurting you now."
VIRGINIA: Now I'm hurting you because you hurt me.
RANDAL: That's good, squeeze her. (Virginia is squeezing
hard) Okay, settle back now. Get in touch with your body. Breathe
down into your stomach. You're doing great. Stay with your
feelings. It's so good to get it out of your system. Put that energy
back where it belongs, where it came from. Now go inside your
body. What do you feel?
VIRGINIA: More relaxed.

RANDAL: Where do you feel more relaxed?
VIRGINIA: In my head and in my neck. The knot's gone.
RANDAL: This is a safe place to get that energy out without
really hurting somebody else. Get it out and return it back there
where it belongs. That's not for you. You got it out and now you're
continuing to clear yourself. Feel that clarity and that relaxation. All
that stuff was from before and it's not yours. Feel your freedom.
VIRGINIA: It feels better.
RANDAL: Get in touch with your body. What do you feel right
now?
VIRGINIA: I'm feeling happier. I'm feeling better. (laughing)
Way better.
RANDAL: Does your body feel good?
VIRGINIA: Yes, thank you. And I need to talk to my brother,
Ronny, who went away.
RANDAL: What do you want to say to your brother?
VIRGINIA: I know you were sick. I know you really had bad
challenges. I know they did shock treatments to you but there
was a part of you that was aware. I wasn't happy that you used to
pounce on me at night. I was only 86 pounds and you weighed 160
pounds. It hurt and I couldn't breathe. You scared me and I was
just little. You shouldn't have done that. It was wrong.
RANDAL: All right. What does your brother say?
VIRGINIA: I didn't want to hurt you. I love you. I just wanted
to be close to you because I missed you. (little voice) Oh, dear.
RANDAL: What's that "oh dear"?
VIRGINIA: Poor Ronny.
RANDAL: When you feel sorry for him that's a form of
manipulation. (Virginia's face looks puzzled) He's manipulating
you if you're feeling sorry for him. He hurt you. Get in touch with
that.
VIRGINIA: You hurt me. And not only that, before you went
and before you were even sick you used to throw me down and hit
me with a fly swatter if I moved. That wasn't right. Just because
you wanted to see your TV show.
RANDAL: Now what does Ronny say?
VIRGINIA: Well, you were real cute when you got feisty. When
I would throw you into the wall you would always come back.
You kept fighting right to the end. I liked to see you fight because
you were the little (singing), Fuddy-da, fuddy-da, fuddy-da ...
(shouting) Shut up! I hate that! (sobbing) Just shut up. You make me
feel crazy. Constantly, over and over repeating the same thing! Just
shut up! (in Ronny's voice) What are you going to do? (shouting)
I'm going to stab you with a knife! (sobbing) I hate you.
RANDAL: Who's saying, "I'm going to stab you with a knife"?
Is that Virginia? (Virginia nods) Okay, here's a knife in your hand
and here he is. This is a safe place to do this without really hurting
anybody. (Randal places an imaginary knife in Virginia's hand and
holds a large pillow in front of her) Stab him now. Get that out of
your system. (Virginia stabs at the pillow forcefully several times
with the imaginary knife) That's right. Say, "I could kill you."
VIRGINIA: (shouting and hitting) I could kill you!
RANDAL: That's good to get it out of your system. (as Virginia
slows down Randal pulls the pillow away) Get in touch with your
body. What do you feel in your right hand? (Virginia's hand is still
tightly closed into a fist) It's still there. Let's give him some more.
(Randal holds the pillow up and Virginia pounds it with her fist
several times) Give it to him! Give to him!
VIRGINIA: (as she hits at the pillow) I'll clean it up for good!
RANDAL: (pulling the pillow away again) How does your
hand feel now?
VIRGINIA: It feels good. (starting to laugh) My finger doesn't
hurt anymore. (laughing hysterically) It's great. My finger feels
good. Oh, my goodness.
RANDAL: It's so good to laugh.
VIRGINIA: (continuing to laugh) I just killed my brother! (class
laughs)
RANDAL: Well, you've got something to laugh about now.
Your brother is symbolically dead and Virginia is becoming very
alive. Good for you. Go inside your body. What do you feel?
VIRGINIA: I feel good. I feel at peace, ironically enough.
RANDAL: All right. Look at your brother over there dead.
How do you feel?
VIRGINIA: Good. He looks real peaceful.
RANDAL: You're both at peace. (laughter) There's always
a creative way to work things out. Of course, what's dead is his
craziness imploded inside you that was making you feel crazy.
Okay, say goodbye to your brother. You're one powerful woman.

It's so good that you're getting all of that stuff out. Feel that peace.
You've done tremendous work and for now I encourage you to
feel this completion. (Randal is beginning to lead the session to
completion, providing Virginia continues to feel at peace) And
know that if and when needed, you can speak up for yourself. You
just faced those people that you had such difficulty with from an
early age and you confronted each one of them. You can confront
any situation.
VIRGINIA: I can.
RANDAL: And you do not have to put yourself in dangerous
situations. You tune into your aliveness and your truth and your
spirit and create safe situations for yourself and that feels good.
You are tremendously powerful and you can have a lot of fun with
that. You find appropriate circumstances to constructively express
your anger, your truth, your criticism, all of the above and more.
VIRGINIA: (giggling) That's good.
RANDAL: Yes, that's good. You are just as important as anyone
else in the world and you deserve to have your say. If people try
to manipulate you with their stories you have your story, your
feelings, and you can express them and communicate them.
VIRGINIA: And also, because I wasn't able to connect with my
father, in the past I found older men to work for that I wanted to
please and practically be a slave for and they sensed that about me
and took advantage of my time and my work. That's the past and
I want to put that where it belongs. That's not happening anymore
either.
RANDAL: I believe you.
VIRGINIA: I make that declaration. This Virginia. (Virginia
raises a fist in the air)
RANDAL: I saw that fist in action a couple of times.
VIRGINIA: (giggling) Can I just beat up one more person?
(laughter)
RANDAL: Go for it! (Randal holds the large pillow in front of her)
VIRGINIA: I want to put it together. This is Don and Taylor.
These are the people who took my money.
RANDAL: Hit them both at once. You're that powerful.
(Virginia is hitting the pillow with rapid, sharp blows) Say, "I
hate you!"
VIRGINIA: I hate you! I hate you! You bastards! You're bad!

I'm not bad, you're bad!
RANDAL: Good! Good!
VIRGINIA: (with a last hard blow) Ohhh yes!
RANDAL: Whew!
VIRGINIA: (in a sweet voice) Thank you. (laughter)
RANDAL: You're welcome. Get in touch with your body. How
do you feel? (laughing, Randal shakes out his arms and legs) I'll
get in touch with my body, too.
VIRGINIA: (laughing) I feel so good! Wonderful! So alive! I
don't have all that stuff in me anymore. It's been so long. (breaking
into laughter) I've got to get on the floor! (Virginia lies on her
back on the floor and flails her arms and legs furiously in the air,
screaming and laughing) That's good! (Randal helps her back onto
the chair) I feel light-headed.
RANDAL: Feel that light-headedness.
VIRGINIA: But it's not disconnected. It's light.
RANDAL: You're being in your body.
VIRGINIA: Yes.
RANDAL: You're tied in with your aliveness. Feel your
euphoria.
VIRGINIA: I can feel it. It's wonderful.
RANDAL: Stay with it.
VIRGINIA: Okay. (takes a big breath)
RANDAL: By staying with it, I don't mean trying to make it
stay. Just be there with it. That aliveness is with you because you
are that. Experience that beautiful, radiant, healthy, strong body.
You had to go through many things in your life, Virginia, and yet
you've continued to work on yourself. You were already healthy
in a lot of ways but at times you felt disconnected and now you
are in touch. You made this connection. You continue to have this
aliveness that helps you become even more radiantly healthy. That
combined with your very wise awareness of nutrition and healthy
living helps you to become more and more vitally alive and healthy
every day.
You are yourself and just by being your alive self you attract
positive people to you. Also, you become your own best friend.
Appreciate and love yourself. (Virginia hugs herself) Take care of
the child within you. Take care of the various ages of child, infant,
teenager, adult, all those wonderful parts. I particularly want to

talk about the child within who didn't have good parents when
she was growing up. You can be her loving mother yourself now.
Imagine being there with that child. (Randal hands her a different
pillow) Here she is. What would you like to say to her?
VIRGINIA: You're a good girl. A very good girl. So sweet.
You're smart. You're helpful. You're a good artist. You have a real
pretty voice and you can dance well. You care about things and
you love beauty and flowers. And the other children. And you
know God. You're a bright shining star. You're unique. You're
very good. I love you so much, honey. I'm going to support you
every step of the way. I'm going to be here for you. Whatever
you need, you can count on me. I'd give my life for you because
you're my sweet girl. And you're your own person. You're unique
and you're independent. But whenever you need me I'm here for
you. I'll always be here with hugs and sweet kisses and anything
else you need. If you ever need a friend, I'm your best friend. I'm
your mother. I'm everything. And you're everything to me. You'll
always be with me and I'll always protect you.
RANDAL: Beautiful. Now be that girl and take in all those
things that your mommy within just said to you. What a wonderful
mommy, who loves you and appreciates you so much. You've
got this mommy for the rest of your life. Whenever you want her
she's right there for you. Be young Virginia and be wide open to
receiving that love.
VIRGINIA: Can I talk?
RANDAL: You certainly can talk.
VIRGINIA: (in a little girl's voice) You're so nice. I love you
because you treat me really good and you treat me with respect.
I'm a person and you see me. You really see me. You see all the
good in me. You praise me for all the things I do right and you help
me when I don't know things. You teach me. If I don't do things
real well you teach me how to do it better but you don't yell at me
or hit me or hurt me. You're very sweet. I hope when I grow up I'll
be just like you.
RANDAL: I know you will. Feel that tender loving care. That
love and appreciation. Now switch and be Mommy and take that
in. Your daughter is loving you so much. She is so appreciative.
She's thrilled to have you as a mommy. You're the perfect mommy
in the world for her. How wonderful. And you get to be the mommy
of that little girl you're so proud of.
VIRGINIA: Oh sweetie, I've just waited to hear you say that
all of your life. (crying) I'm so happy that you love me and I'm so
proud that I can be your mother. I can be a real good mother. These
are tears of happiness because I just feel so good. Having you in
my arms and really loving you. Seeing what a good child you are
and knowing that you're your own person but also knowing that
you're a part of me. You're healthy and strong and intelligent and
emotionally stable. That makes me feel very proud of you. And
all the kind things that you feel towards me. Just know that all the
good things you feel for me, I feel for you only ten times more.
I'll always be with you in your heart because you're always with
me in mine. I carry you with me always. No matter what happens
we'll never be separated. I'm just a thought away.
RANDAL: Be Virginia the child.
VIRGINIA: Thank you. You're the best mommy in the whole
world. I'm so lucky to have you. Thank you for really loving me
and showing me how to do things and praising me when I do
them right. Helping me and really supporting me in every way.
And thank you for teaching me about God and that God is love. I
can be a good girl always.
RANDAL: Now be mommy Virginia.
VIRGINIA: You can, honey, and you know what else? You can
be and do anything you want because you have no limitations.
Anything that you can conceive in your mind, you just believe it
with passion and you can have anything you want. Remember
that.
RANDAL: Wonderful! What a team you are. Now be the child
and take that in.
VIRGINIA: Thank you, Mommy. I'm so happy to have you. I ·
never want to leave you. But if I ever do I'll always have you inside
me too, because I know we'll always be together no matter what. I
love you and you're in my heart and my mind always, Mommy.
RANDAL: Be Mommy now.
VIRGINIA: Me, too. We're good. We're both good.
RANDAL: Stay with that for a moment. You don't have to do
anything or say anything, other than just feel the love between the
two of you. Know that you always have yourself as the mother
loving your child so much and yourself as the child. Such a loving,
wonderful mommy.
VIRGINIA: I'm really proud of both of us.
RANDAL: I'm proud of both of you, too. You're doing fantastic.
Just to have survived with your sanity intact and your basic
goodness, was a great accomplishment. As you feel this bonding
between the child and the mother within you, you can also feel
· the strength and wholeness and love that is going to help you to
just fly. (Virginia giggles) These words are from a popular song: "I
believe I can fly." Know that you can do whatever you want to do.
You deserve to be successful, to be loving and to be in love. You
deserve to have good friendships and to be open and receptive
to developing a loving relationship when the time comes, with
someone special. You deserve all the love and abundance that is
there in the world.
Feel the mother and daughter joining as one. Going inward
and relaxing now. When you're ready you can let go and rest your
arms. (as Virginia relaxes her arms, Randal removes the pillow that
she has been hugging) Just be here right now.
VIRGINIA: (Virginia giggles) I feel like I just went a million
miles.
RANDAL: You made a comment earlier about how people
have to walk before they can run and you were walking and then
you could run. And you've come so far in your life that now you
can fly. You have come a million miles. And you've got a long way
to go so you can take your time and enjoy living your life along
the way.
VIRGINIA: Enjoy the moments.
RANDAL: Yes, enjoy the moments. Be inside your body and
feel how good that feels. You've done a terrific job. Trust yourself,
love yourself, and know that there are a lot of good ways to express
all of your different feelings. That is a part of being alive. You're
doing a service, a gift, to communicate your truth to other people.
I'm getting ready to help bring you up out of the hypnosis.
First, is there anything that you'd like to say or to ask?
VIRGINIA: (speaking in a whisper) Thank you so much. I'm
very grateful.
RANDAL: You're very welcome. Thank you for having the
courage to go to hell and back and end up in heaven.
VIRGINIA: (giggling) That' s exactly how it feels. I was a little

afraid but I knew I could trust you.
RANDAL: Thank you very much. I'm going to count from one
to five and with every number that I count you become more alert,
awake and aware. At the count of five you open your eyes and you
are then fully aware. Number one, slowly, calmly, easily and gently
begin returning to your full conscious awareness! (Virginia giggles
as Randal dramatically counts) On number two! More and more
wide awake and alert. On number three! Coming up now, more
and more invigorated. (Randal's voice is reaching a crescendo) On
number four! You can feel that blood surging through every vein,
capillary and artery in your body, helping you to feel fully alive,
wonderfully good! (Virginia and the audience are laughing as
Randal continues) Number five! {Randal throws his arms into the
air in a sign of victory and then clears his throat and settles down
as the class and Virginia burst into laughter and then applause)
Whew! Let's hear it for Virginia! (more laughter and applause)
VIRGINIA: {after a break) Those experiences from the past

have been demons all my life. I think the challenges I've faced were
because we had a very dysfunctional family. At the age of five, for
example, I had to call the police because my father was beating
my mother so badly. There was blood everywhere. Then my father
was kind to me in a sense because he thanked me for calling the
police. He said, "I could seriously have done some damage and
gone to jail here, and you really saved me from that." So I felt at
five that I lost my childhood and became a protector, even to the
point of protecting my brother who was a schizophrenic later on.
He started to get ill at age 13 and began to attack me.
I really appreciated the sensitivity Randal had in doing this
with me. The family dynamics I worked on was a necessary thing
in order for me to be able to go on with my work and to continue
growing as a human being. I had lived with suppressing my
feelings for so long. Every once in awhile things would come up
but I wouldn't break down in tears over it. It was just there and it
wasn' t allowing me to get to the next level.
RANDAL: You're going to go a long ways.
VIRGINIA: (Virginia's voice is very strong and confident) Yes,
I'm going a long ways and I know that. I grew up knowing I had
that within me. I also knew that if I didn't get rid of all that stuff
I wasn't going to be able to go on to the next level. I once heard
a yogi say that on your journey if you don't clean up your mess,
when you get to the top you're going to have to go back and clean
it up. And I don't want to have to go back. I'd much rather clean it
up now on my way up.
I commend Randal so much. Just watching him during these
five or six weeks of classes and observing the artistry has been
so valuable. Part of me was beginning to get grounded and that
enabled me to face the demons that were inside of me. It's really a
mixed bag because of all the religious stuff I've been taught. It was
very difficult to have anger and resentment toward my parents and
my brother. And then that whole guilt thing. How can I feel upset
with my brother, poor guy, when he's sick? Which is nonsense
because of course I felt hurt. I went through some heavy things. It
was a big mess.
I know that I'm not unique in the sense that I'm not the only
one who has gone through stuff like this. Everyone has a story. I
just hope that if any part of what I went through resonates with any
of you, if being here while I went through this helps you, then God
bless you. Randal really gave me a tremendous gift in being able to
clean all of that out. I can do so much with my clients now because
I know that it works. I feel clean. I feel grounded. I feel healed
and I feel congruent. I feel integrated. I feel for the first time, it's a
weird thing, but I feel my body. It feels so good to be in my body
and to be able to say what I feel without feeling guilty. When we
first started, I don't know if any of you noticed, but when Randal
asked me if it was safe ...
RANDAL: I asked about the safety to be open to the memories
and feelings.
VIRGINIA: Yes, and I was really frightened. My teeth were
starting to chatter because I had already blown the wad before
getting into the session, so to speak, where I was already in tears.
What have I gotten myself into? When Randal asked the question
I was thinking no, and then not only my one "yes" finger went up,
but both of my index fingers went up! (laughter) The subconscious
was saying, "Go for it, girl! What are you here for?" I just thought,
"Wow, it really works!" The answers just kept coming on their
own. It was amazing how that all happened. The neat thing about
Gestalt too, is the way my body was telling me what was really
going on. I got in touch with one part, that was good, now this
part is shaking. What is that about? It was just incredible the way
everything worked.
Once we got to the point where everything was cleared up it
felt different. Thoughts really are things. It's amazing. I've always
said that, but they really do manifest into your reality. Imagination
becomes so real and then all of a sudden you integrate it and it's
like a whole new chapter. I believe it's a domino affect. What I've
done has not only changed my past, my personal history, but also
my present. I mentioned earlier that I had an injury from when I
was on my horse. My horse weighs about a thousand pounds and
my fingers got caught up in the reins. Instead of letting go like I
should have, I was trying to fight it. One finger got torked so bad
that I couldn't move it and I couldn't' close my fist all the way.
After this session I can do this now. (demonstrates holding her
hand in a fist)
RANDAL: Was there a particular time when that seemed to
happen? Like when you were doing the hitting?
VIRGINIA: The knife! (the class bursts into laughter) I grabbed
that imaginary knife so tight that I think it loosened up my joint
and I closed my finger all the way. I was going for gold! (more
laughter) It was unbelievable. I would never have thought of
killing my brother but that's the great thing about Gestalt. I did it,
but everyone is intact. It's great.
RANDAL: It's so good because you can release those feelings
in a way that really doesn't hurt anybody. In fact, by doing it, you
can stop hurting yourself. When you' re holding that in instead of
getting it out, you do the same kind of thing to yourself. You were
basically stabbing yourself, in whatever symbolic way, by holding
back those outraged and angry feelings. It was so good to get it out
of your system. I know that you've been doing a lot of good work,
Virginia. You've come a long way but you still had a lot of stuff
to deal with. You did a great job. (applause) Does anyone have a
question for Virginia?
HAL: This isn't a question but I have an observation. I notice
as you're talking now, Virginia, that your voice is altered and it's a
very interesting alteration. There is something present that wasn't
present before. Your voice tends to be high and before you had a
high voice with no base. It's like you've added the base resonance.
When you're talking I can actually feel it. It's like this grounded
aspect of your voice is now present.
SHARON: It's coming from down in your gut and up through
your chest. You can feel the vibration and the depth. It's a whole
new voice.
VIRGINIA: Thank you. That's good to know. Before I used to
try to talk this way. I mean I had to focus on it. Now I feel like I'm
looking around here and relaxing and it's a natural thing. It feels
really good.
LIZ: I was having a visual impression. I was looking at your
face and I was thinking of a rite of passage. Your face now is the
face of a wise woman and before we started it was like the face of
a sweet girl.
CHARLIE: And you're powerful.
VIRGINIA: Wow!
MADELINE: I've seen you do courageous work before but this
was so huge and you just went for this opportunity.
VIRGINIA: I appreciate that. I know what it is to be present for
the first time in my life. To really and truly be present. I've always
had connectedness and congruity in working and it's great to do
all that, but it's just icing on the cake if you've got all this crap
below and are just loading it on top. We can never get to who we
are until we clear this stuff out. I guess the real work is the day
to day living in the present and enjoying the process. I'm really
excited about my life. Thank you. Marleen?
MARLEEN: Do you know who will love this, too? Bella. She's
going to love you.
VIRGINIA: Oh, yes. She might be healed, too. That is so great.
Bella, for all of you who don't know, is my horse. And she's very
much a child, so we had two children out there. She'd be running
through shrubs and I'd get a branch caught here and my neck
would get thrown back. We were ridiculous. (laughter) We'd go
out in the middle of the night and I'd fall off and get my fingers
mangled and all this stuff. I would think, well, this is just what
happens. Now it's a whole different thing. Horses are like two or
four year-old children, so now I can be a mother to my horse, too.
RANDAL: Can I interrupt for a moment? Do you notice how
Virginia has so much more power now? She had power before but
she's taking charge and calling on people and (looking at Virginia)

I can tell that you're really taking this in. {laughter) Excuse me, I
didn't mean to interrupt you, Virginia. (more laughter)
VIRGINIA: Thanks for sharing, Randal. (applause and
laughter)
MARY: The most amazing thing to me was when you said,
"I want to get down on the floor," and you came into all of your
energy and you just let it go. You looked so free. You were an
inspiration to me. That was your authentic self. It was wonderful.
VIRGINIA: I think the comment I would make is that when
you're that far, you've gone all the way and exposed yourself and
you're hanging out in the breeze, you might as well just finish it
up. (applause) At that point I wanted to experience everything.
It's strange because I was aware but I was also in an altered state.
It facilitated my ability to just say, "What the heck!" A thought
comes into your mind and you see it and think, "Good idea. I'm
in an altered state, I'll explore that. Hey, that feels good, let's do it
even more." I've been holding back for so long that it felt great to
experience everything I could possibly experience.
I feel that Randal gave me the greatest gift in introducing
Virginia to Virginia. I finally am me. I am I. I know who I am. I had
a conversation with someone recently about how I want to please
people and some people say, "You're too nice. Speak your piece.
Say your stuff." And I was thinking maybe I need to be tougher.
Then I started crying because I thought, I don't know who I am.
Am I a spiritual person or am I this ... what am I?
(switching to her confident voice) I know who I am and I really
do like myself the way I am right here right now. It feels real and it
feels good. I'm so excited that I can't wait to get out there and work
with all the clients that God brings me. And all of you were a part
of this. I'm very sensitive to the energy around me and I was like in
a womb. All of you were present and I could feel that you weren't
writing letters or being somewhere else. I felt positive energy from
each of you and that catapulted me to the next level. I know it's
going to be great. This is awesome. God bless you all.
RANDAL: Hallelujah! (laughter and applause) I have only a
couple of bits and pieces to add to the wonderful comments. It
was so interesting to see the catastrophic expectation Virginia
had about telling her sister off initially. She had started kicking
and was beginning to feel so free and then I said, "Now talk to
your sister," and then boom! All those blocks came up and I went
with that. "Okay, go with your feelings." And out of that came
turning the energy her sister had back on her. How ironic that the
expectation, "If only I'm nice enough maybe she'll come around,"
ended up being the opposite. Actually doing what her sister was
doing brought her and her sister much closer together.
VIRGINIA: And now I know why, too. For the first time we
were in rapport because that's how she gets rapport with people.
She's a probation officer and she kicks butt. That's where she lives.
RANDAL: That's the way she relates in the world.
VIRGINIA: I needed to do that, you know, be all things to all
people, and I didn't ever get that before. I thought if I was just nice
enough, but bull. Just meet people where they're at.
RANDAL: I have one other thought here. I was encouraging
virtually all of your feelings, but I want to point out something
about guilt or feeling sorry for someone. In Gestalt, Perls recognized
that underneath guilt lies resentment. There are things that some
people should feel guilty about, but not when you're five years-old
and your mother is beating you for not baby-sitting right. (looking
to Virginia) I'm not talking about you in any way. (laughter) I'm
just saying that when there is guilt there is resentment under that.
That's just the way it works. And here your brother was doing
all those horrible things to you and you were saying, "Oh, that
poor thing." And I didn't stand for that. I needed to encourage
you to recognize that you had justifiable feelings and to stay with
that rather than being manipulated into feeling sorry for him. You
needed to get beyond that.
VIRGINIA: That was so funny because when you said being
manipulated, I thought you were saying that I was manipulating
him at first by being sweet. I thought, oh, I'm being sweet, that's
how I manipulate. Then when you said it was the other way
around, wow! I wasn't even getting that. I was used to it being
about me and it's my fault. You made it clear and then I was able to
say, "Okay, what else? Even before he was sick he was doing stuff
to me." That was good and it really ended well. Finally finishing
and terminating that whole energy. He used to tease and tease and
it was so great to be done with that. I don't have to deal with it
anymore and I finally got it. I never would have thought of that.
RANDAL: Well, you created it in your subconscious mind.

Congratulations.
VIRGINIA: Thank you.
Interview Three Weeks Later

VIRGINIA: I think that this issue, even more than the family
dynamics, was about me becoming grounded. That's a strong
theme for a lot of people. Who am I? When you're really connected
you realize who you are but it's impossible to be grounded when
you have all these fragments of your past floating there like
alphabet soup with no reason or rhyme, and you're just like a live
nerve. Anything can trigger it and pull you back into a space that
isn't supportive and even affect the decisions you make. It creates
so many limitations. This has been so freeing. I'm so excited about
that and I appreciate it so much.
RANDAL: You did incredible work. The shift was so obvious
in your presence and bearing and in your voice. You could feel it
in the room. It was such magic.
VIRGINIA: People were coming up to me afterwards and
saying how there were parts that they could relate to and they
were going through a healing as well. It was an amazing response.
I could not have gone to the depths I went to without that positive
,s upport. I felt that energy surround me, all the energy of the
people in the room lovingly encouraging me. I felt free to
express anything that popped into my subconscious. I think
when you can really let go and go for it in that way, that
there can be some massive healing. It was also the trust I felt
for you through your voice and the encouragement you were
giving me.
There is something else that I want to share with you. Yesterday
I was hashing over everything and I was thinking, my God, in this
whole thing I killed my brother. I really wish I could have turned it
around into a positive resolution with my mother and my brother.
And then I let that go. I was thinking about it again this morning
and I said, well, I would never hurt anyone. What I did was kill the
memory that I had suppressed. It's not who they are today, it was
that whole picture and that episode that I had experienced. It's like
a personal history change to go back there. It was a sweeping or
clearing out.
This morning I went to do my meditation and I opened up the

Bible. I was reading Psalms and Proverbs and cross referencing,
and then I closed my eyes and asked for a kind of revelation. And
then I saw a vision in which I went to the River Jordan and I felt
the presence of Christ calling and saying, "Come into the water
for healing." I dove into the water and he was healing every
ailment that I had in my body and he healed me emotionally and
spiritually.
Then I came up on this little bit of land in the middle that Christ
was standing on. I held onto his robes and he put his arms around
me and said that I'd done such an incredible job. Then he said,
"Now call your family for a divine healing," and my father and
mother came through the water and both of my brothers and my
sister. We were all there around Christ. We were in that divine light.
It was so wonderful how we'd all been healed. I even put my former
bosses in the water for healing. They were all swimming in there.
After that Christ called me up to heaven with my little child
persona, and allowed me to stay. It was like the Milky Way. We
were there from night all the way to sunrise and we went all the
way to the gate of heaven. It was so incredible. We went full circle.
I did my psychosynthesis of the whole thing and it came around to
the cleansing. So that's what happened.
RANDAL: What a wonderful healing process you created.
VIRGINIA: The healing waters.
RANDAL: That's beautiful. Releasing all that toxic energy
in the session has helped you to heal yourself and truly forgive
and help heal your relationships. I think what you did with this
symbolism was a further multi-level healing of yourself that in
addition, to whatever degree that your family members are open
to healing, may affect them as well.
VIRGINIA: As far as I'm concerned there is a healing already
taking place and I'm good with everyone. I'm not holding back
now. This is going to free me tremendously to move forward.
I'm already working on a beautiful brochure and I'm absolutely
delighted at how everything is coming together. You cannot do it
when you're all mucked up because it drains you.
RANDAL: You're doing a terrific job. With all the incredible
traumas you had in your life, to be able to do so much. That's an
acknowledgment about the powerful person you are.
VIRGINIA: Thank you. And I take it that that is an

acknowledgment of the powerful healer that you are. And also the
tools we have with Gestalt and regression and psychosynthesis.
We just proved what can be done. Do you know how many years
of therapy we went through? It was amazing.
RANDAL: When someone has had to deal with terrible
difficulties growing up, as you did, and just try to survive, it
can be so healing to be purged of that. To cleanse the body and
release all that energy in a really powerful and cathartic way can
be absolutely profound.
Virginia's next session is the subject of the next chapter. She gives
further follow-up commentary for this session at the conclusion
of that chapter.
CHAPTER 10
Virginia's Panic Attacks

Smothered by Her Disturbed Brother
RANDAL: Tell us what you'd like to work on.

VIRGINIA (back in class for continuing education a year after
the session of the previous chapter) Sometimes I get up in the
morning and for no apparent reason this fear sweeps over me. I
try to identify what it is that I'm afraid of but it's illogical. I noticed
that one of the women I've been working with lately is totally out
of control with her eating. I told her to call me every day because
she's freaking out about it. I know how she feels because that's
how I felt when I was bulimic. When I couldn't throw up it made
me feel like I had to cut my stomach open or something to get this
stuff out. It felt like a desperate need to get rid of it. At one point
during my own struggle with this issue the thought crossed my
mind that I would just have to commit suicide because I couldn't
control it anymore. My whole life felt like one big lie. That's when
I sought help from a friend and I said, "Look, I'm doing something
that's totally disgusting. I can't tell you what it is because I'm
really ashamed but if you could call me every day I'll commit to
not doing it. I'll take it moment by moment."
So that's what I wanted to do with this woman who came
to me, and I hadn't had anyone like that since I was bulimic. I
thought, "This is going to be easy. I've gone through it, been there,
done that." Then all of a sudden I'm really in empathy with this
woman and it's bringing back feelings in myself that I had before. I
couldn't be fat, I had to look good and all these stupid things. Then
I started having agoraphobia, where I couldn't leave the house,

and my world kept getting smaller and smaller. I couldn't fly in
airplanes. I couldn't go under a parking structure because it felt
like everything was on top of me like a weight. Lately I've had a
hard time sleeping because of the dark. It feels like I'm closed in
at night. I don't want to go to sleep because I'm afraid. It's like
I'm being suffocated. I was doing really great with everything we
already worked on.
RANDAL: You did incredible work.
VIRGINIA: I was feeling so good until lately.
RANDAL: Two of your important issues are recently waking
up in the morning with this fear sweeping over you, and you've
also been going to sleep at night feeling afraid that the dark is
suffocating. Those are two very strong feelings and they're tied in
with your feelings in your previous session. Is there anything else
you want to mention?
VIRGINIA: It's mainly that panicked feeling I get.
RANDAL: Panic when you're waking up in the morning and
when you go to bed as well?
VIRGINIA: It happens a lot. Sometimes I'll be in my house and
I'll feel like I'm racing inside. I'm trying to get away and I have to
really focus. What am I trying to get away from? I talk to myself
to stay calm. "Stay rational here. What are we doing?" And l try
to take the right herbs to calm down, whatever it's going to take
to handle it, but sometimes it's out of my control. I still have that
feeling. It's an irrational fear. There's no one chasing me, there's
nothing happening, I'm not getting thrown out.
The only thing I can figure out is that this client has triggered
something with the bulimia. I believe panic attacks are a learned
thing for some people and that I trained myself to have them.
That's what that anxiety feels like. This situation has brought all of
that back. It's a little bit out of control and I want that control back
in my life. Healthy control.
RANDAL: Is this an ongoing client?
VIRGINIA: Yes, she calls me every day because that's how
I got help. I asked my friend to call me every day for six weeks
and then after six weeks I had created a pattern and I didn't do
· it anymore. I took it moment by moment. So this client is calling
every day and now I'm dreading her calls. I say, "Don't tell me
Virginia 's Panic Attacks 175
everything you've done in detail. Let's focus on what's good about

what you've done," because I don't want to hear it. I don't want
to go there.
RANDAL: That's quite a generous thing for you to tell her to
call you every day for six weeks.
VIRGINIA: I really want to help her.
RANDAL: Is there anything else you want to say before we do
the hypnosis?
VIRGINIA: No. (Virginia is beginning to look nervous)
RANDAL: Okay, you can move into this reclining chair over
here. (to the class) This is one of those times when I'll say put down
your grounding cords and surround yourself with golden or white
light. Maybe strong emotions will come up and maybe not, but be
prepared. (to Virginia) I'll be checking in with you to see whether
feelings or memories are even appropriate to come up with here
and we'll go with what your subconscious mind signals.
VIRGINIA: Okay.
RANDAL: Get ready now. Focus your eyes on my two fingers
and follow my hand as it moves toward your face. (Randal moves
his hand toward Virginia's face and then down) Follow my fingers
with your eyes until your eyelids close down.
(Virginia's eyes close and Randal leads her through a series of
rapid induction methods. Next he has her get in touch with the
fingers she uses for ideomotor signals, which are the same as they
were a year ago: Her left index finger is her "yes" finger, the left
little finger is her "no" finger, and her left thumb is her "I don't
know" finger.)
Now I'm going to ask you some questions for your subconscious
mind, regarding the fear you sometimes feel when you wake up
or when you go to bed. My question is, is it safe and appropriate
for you to be open to any and all memories that might come up
regarding your feelings of fear or panic? (Virginia's index finger
moves) The answer to the question is yes.
The next question is, is it safe and appropriate for you to be
open to your emotions as you recall any and all memories that
have to do with fear or panic? (Virginia's index finger moves)
The answer is yes. Now before we go on I just want you to know
that I'm here with you and the class is here with you and you're
going to be fine. You'll work this out very well. You know that.
You are a very special and remarkable person. You've come so

far in your life and you've got further to go. You've got a lot of
support around you and a lot of protection. Wherever we go with
this, I want to encourage you to know that you'll do great. What
you're about to deal with here you will work through with your
tremendous heart, your wisdom, and the power that you have
within you.
VIRGINIA: (looking tense) Okay.
RANDAL: I'm going to have you get in touch with something
you've been talking about that has been very difficult for you.
You' ll be able to get in touch with it as a way to work through it.
With each number that I count, as I count from one to ten, you'll
become more aware of feelings that you were describing earlier.
Feelings that are being triggered in part by your reaction to your
client, who is dealing with her difficulties with bulimia. A feeling
of fear, a feeling of panic that sweeps over you at times. With each
number I count you become more aware of a strong feeling of fear
that you sometimes have in the morning or when you go to bed
at night.
Number one, beginning to feel that kind of feeling that comes
up when you have that panic attack. Number two, beginning to
feel that in some part of your body, perhaps in your respiration.
Number three, perhaps in your heartbeat. Number four, feeling
more of that strong feeling of panic that sometimes comes over
you. Number five, feeling the fear that sweeps over you and wakes
you up in the morning. Number six, having a hard time sleeping.
Seven, as if the dark was corning over and beginning to suffocate
you. Number eight, feeling that feeling more intensely. Number
nine, on the next number I count you're right there with that
feeling. Number ten.
(Randal's voice has been getting faster and louder) Stay with
the feeling. I'm going to count quickly from ten down to one. As I
count downwards you' re going to go back to an earlier time in your
life when you felt that same feeling. Number ten, nine, eight, going
back in time. Seven, six, going back in time. Stay with the feeling.
Five, four, three, going back in time. Two, at the next number I
count you're right there. (Virginia gasps and begins to choke) One,
stay with the feeling now.
VIRGINIA: (squeaking the words out) I can't breathe!
Virginia's Panic Attacks 177
RANDAL: (breathing deeply and slowly) Do your best to

breathe now. There is something going on. There's some reason
why you can't breathe. Are you inside or outside? Pick one.
VIRGINIA: (gasping) Inside.
VIRGINIA: (gasping, voice squeaking) It's nighttime.
RANDAL: Are you alone or with others?
VIRGINIA: (barely getting the words out) There are two
people.
RAND AL: Where are you? Are you in your house or somewhere else?
VIRGINIA: House.
RANDAL: Are you in your bedroom or some other room?
VIRGINIA: (sobbing) My bedroom.
RANDAL: Why is it that you can't breathe?
VIRGINIA: My brother is suffocating me. (crying)
RANDAL: What do you want to tell your brother?
VIRGINIA: (loudly) Get off of me!
RANDAL: Go ahead and tell him again.
VIRGINIA: Get off me. I can't breathe.
RANDAL: All right, Virginia, here's your brother. (holding
a large pillow in front of her and guiding her hands to it) He's
suffocating you. Push him away! (Virginia shoves the pillow away
and Randal brings it back) Push him away! (Virginia grabs the
pillow from Randal and slams it to the floor, kicking at it) That's it,
kick him! Kick him! Say, "Get away! Get away!"
VIRGINIA: Get away! Get away! (Virginia has followed the
pillow to the floor, wildly hitting at it, and now sits there catching
her breath)
RANDAL: Good for you. Breathe. Stay with it. You're doing
well. Breathe down into your chest and belly. Breathe into your
whole body. (Virginia is taking big breaths and blowing the air out)
You're doing fine. Do you want to sit back up here? (Randal guides
her to the chair) What do you feel in your body right now?
VIRGINIA: (in a soft voice) I feel better.
RANDAL: How would you describe the feelings in your body?
I know you were feeling very intense feelings and they' re getting
less intense. What do you feel now?
VIRGINIA: Lighter.
RANDAL: Are you calming down?
VIRGINIA: Yes.
RANDAL: See how good it is for you to find a constructive
way to release the tension of that terrible experience and how
quickly you can now calm down. Find your center. Feel your
grounding and your strength. You're doing very well. You did a
very good job pushing your brother away. So where is he right
now? You threw him to the floor. Has he run out of the room or
what's happening?
VIRGINIA: He left.
RANDAL: How old are you in this experience?
VIRGINIA: Thirteen.
RANDAL: Has he done this to you before?
VIRGINIA: Yes.
RANDAL: Your brother has some serious problems, doesn't he?
VIRGINIA: He's a schizophrenic.
RANDAL: What's your name at 13? Are you called Virginia or
something else?
VIRGINIA: Ginny
RANDAL: You know there's something wrong with your
brother, Ginny. Do you know if he's been diagnosed as a
schizophrenic?
VIRGINIA: He's in a mental hospital but he comes home
sometimes on the weekend to visit.
RANDAL: So this is one of the weekends that he's home and
this is what he's doing.
VIRGINIA: Uh huh.
RANDAL: When he's done this before have you been able to
get him off of you?
VIRGINIA: My father helps me.
RANDAL: You mentioned that there were two people in the
room. Was your father coming into the room to try and help just
now, or is it someone else?
VIRGINIA: No, my sister is in the room. She sleeps in the room
with me.
RANDAL: What an awful experience to have. It was so good
to push him away this time. Let's deal with this once and for all.
Is there anything that you'd like to say to him now about these
terrible things he's been doing?
VIRGINIA: I did so much before.
RANDAL: I know that's one of the things you worked on

before and you did great work with that, but sometimes there is
some residual stuff. You've come so far and sometimes we don't
take all of the steps at once. I know a very wise nutritionist who
has said that sometimes people need to walk before they can run.
(referring to Virginia herself) You've been running lately, Virginia,
and what I'm telling you is that sometimes you have to run before
you can fly. So let's go ahead. There is more to finish up. Let's bring
your brother here. What would you like to say to him?
VIRGINIA: I understand that you have problems, but what
you've been doing with me is inappropriate. I'm very little. I only
weigh 86 pounds and you weigh 160. I can't breathe. I dread having
you come home because I'm afraid to go to sleep. I'm afraid you're
going to come in and I won't be ready to push you off and you're
going to suffocate me and I'm going to die.
RANDAL: Tell him how you feel about that.
VIRGINIA: (crying) I don't want that to happen because I want
to live. It scares me when you do that. I know you care about me
in your own twisted way but it's not a healthy way. You're hurting
me and you're scaring me.
RANDAL: Very good. Now don't be your brother, but listen to
your brother's response. What does he say?
VIRGINIA: I care about you. I'm not going to kill you. I just
want to be close to you.
RANDAL: Now be 13 year-old Ginny.
VIRGINIA: It doesn't matter what you say. It's hard for me and
I can't handle it. I can't breathe when you're on top of me and I try
to squirm and get away and you just laugh. You think it's a game
and you think it's funny but you're really scaring me.
RANDAL: Whatis his response?
VIRGINIA: I don't mean to scare you. I just thought it was
funny.
RANDAL: Your response, Ginny?
VIRGINIA: It's not funny. It's hurtful and it's wrong and I want
you to stop it.
RANDAL: Good. What does he say?
VIRGINIA: I don't know if I can stop it.
RANDAL: And your response?
VIRGINIA: You have to stop it. This has to stop.
RANDAL: His response?

VIRGINIA: If I stop it then I won't be close to you anymore and
I'm alone all the time when I'm away. I'm all by myself. I just want
to be close to you because I love you.
RANDAL: Ginny, what do you say?
VIRGINIA: That's a very sick kind of love. It's not good and I
know it's hard for you to understand that. I can be close to you but
not that way. I don' t want to be close to you that way.
RANDAL: Go inside your body. What do you feel right now?
VIRGINIA: Tight and shaky and cold.
RANDAL: Get that out of you and into your brother. Tighten
him. (Randal places the pillow in her hands) Tell him whatever you
want to say and really tighten him. He still hasn't gotten it. He's
saying, "I want to be close to you." Show him how you feel about
that. (Virginia is squeezing the pillow into a little ball) Tighten
him up. Suffocate him. Squeeze him into a little ball. (Virginia is
kneading the pillow into a ball) That's right! Now make some
sounds.
VIRGINIA: (continuing to knead and punch the pillow into a
ball, shouting) How does this feel! How does this feel!
RANDAL: That's right! Now you're bigger than him. Squeeze
him! Really squeeze him! Suffocate him!
VIRGINIA: (working hard) You're a little tiny ball! You can't
breathe anymore!
RANDAL: Yes! Yes!
VIRGINIA: How does that feel! How does that feel! (gasping
and taking deep breaths)
RANDAL: Good for you. (as she begins to relax Randal takes
the pillow) Good job. Breathe down into your stomach. You're
getting it out of your system.
VIRGINIA: (laughing) He didn't like that very much.
RANDAL: I guess you got the point across, didn't you?
VIRGINIA: Yes.
RANDAL: That wasn't very fun for him. You became bigger
and you squeezed and suffocated him. What does he have to say
now that you've shown him what it's like?
VIRGINIA: I was mean.
RANDAL: All right. So Ginny has told you that she wants you
to stop doing that. Are you going to stop now?
VIRGINIA: Yes.
RANDAL: Be Ginny. (Randal takes the blanket that was on
Virginia and shakes it) Are you warm enough now?
VIRGINIA: Yes! (laughter)
RANDAL: Good job. You know, 86 pound Ginny, I wouldn't
call you a weakling. You're strong! Good for you for standing
up for yourself. You really took a stand and got that out of your
system. What a relief. Go inside your body now and report what
you feel.
VIRGINIA: Much calmer. Breathing better.
RANDAL: You were feeling some tension before. Do you feel
most of that has dissipated?
VIRGINIA: Yes.
RANDAL: Do you have anything else to report?
VIRGINIA: I feel good about handling it but I just wonder
what's going to happen if I get a feeling when I'm going on the
plane or if I get this feeling for whatever reason again. What can I do?
RANDAL: Talk to that feeling that might come up.
VIRGINIA: Okay. I'm concerned about this feeling that I have
with you when my heart goes really fast. I just want to run and I'm
inside my skin but there's no place to go. I'm concerned and I don't
want to feel like that anymore.
RANDAL: Switch and be that feeling. What does it say in
response?
VIRGINIA: I can understand that you don't want to feel that
way. I'm sure it's not a comfortable feeling but that's how you feel
sometimes. Just accept it.
RANDAL: Say, "Just accept me."
VIRGINIA: Just accept me because I'm part of you.
RANDAL: Now switch and be adult Virginia.
VIRGINIA: I don't accept that.
RANDAL: "I don't accept you," or "I don't accept what you
just said"?
VIRGINIA: I don't accept what you just said. You're not a part
of me. I don't want you to be part of me and I reject you.
RANDAL: Switch and be that feeling that you are rejecting.
What is it saying to you now?
VIRGINIA: You're lying. You asked me to come.
VIRGINIA: How did I ask you to come?

RANDAL: Turn that question into a statement in whatever
way you can do that. You could say, "I did not ask you to come,"
or whatever fits for you.
VIRGINIA: I did not ask you to come.
RANDAL: Does that feel truthful to you?
VIRGINIA: I didn't ask you to come!
RANDAL: Okay, switch and be that feeling.
VIRGINIA: You did! You did!
RANDAL: Tell her how she asked you to come.
VIRGINIA: All the time when you were eating and doing all
those things that you did before. You showed me what to do. It's
like you fed me and I grew and grew and now I'm as strong as
you are.
VIRGINIA: It's not right.
RANDAL: Say, "You're not right."
VIRGINIA: You're not right!
RANDAL: Tell that feeling how it' s wrong.
VIRGINIA: You're wrong because I didn't do it on purpose.
It wasn't something I chose to do. It was the only way I could
deal with my life. I was trying to push everything down but
then it was just too much and I had to get rid of it. I couldn't do
it all.
RANDAL: Now switch. Can we give a name to the feeling?
VIRGINIA: The fear.
RANDAL: Okay, so what does the fear say in response?
VIRGINIA: Every time you did that you were feeding me. You
were allowing me to grow inside of you.
RANDAL: When you say "did that" are you talkiitg about the
bulimia?
VIRGINIA: Yes.
VIRGINIA: But I don' t do that anymore. I haven' t done it in a
long, long time.
RANDAL: Switch.
VIRGINIA: But I never left. I was always inside of you. I've
always been there and now I have my opportunity.
VIRGINIA: Why are you trying to hurt me? You say you're a
part of me. You should be on my side. You should help me not hurt
me. Why are you doing this?
RANDAL: Instead of asking why, say, "Stop hurting me."
VIRGINIA: Then stop hurting me.
RANDAL: Switch and be the fear.
VIRGINIA: I don't think I'm really hurting you. I'm a natural
part of your life. It's just how you handle it.
VIRGINIA: I want you to stop because you're not helping me.
RANDAL: Switch.
VIRGINIA: Look inside yourself and you'll understand.
RANDAL: That's fair. Go inside yourself, Virginia. What do
you feel?
VIRGINIA: Confusion.
RANDAL: Do you notice any physical feelings anywhere
inside your body?
VIRGINIA: There's a tightness inside my shoulders.
RANDAL: Take responsibility and say, "I'm tightening my
shoulders."
VIRGINIA: I'm tightening my shoulders ... and I'm tightening
my stomach.
RANDAL: It's good that you're acknowledging that. You're
taking responsibility. Now the last thing the fear said was, "Go
inside your body and you'll understand." Do you have any
response to that? Keep breathing. (handing Virginia a pillow) Take
this fear and tighten it. What do you want to say to it?
VIRGINIA: When you sweep over me you make me tight all
over and my heart goes fast. I feel like I'm going to fall and I'm
going to tighten you now.
RANDAL: Good, tighten that. That fear says, hey, it's good for
me to be here. Show it how you feel. Do to it what it's been doing
to you. Let's scare that fear. Really tighten it. (Virginia is pushing
the pillow into a little ball) Tighten it into a little ball! All right!
(Virginia pushes the pillow into a ball and sits on it) Sit on it and
squish it. (Virginia punches at the sides of the pillow underneath
her) Pound it! That's right! Very good. (Virginia is punching rapidly
with both fists) Yes! Yes!
VIRGINIA: You're not helping me!
RANDAL: Say, "Go away!"

VIRGINIA: Go away! You haven't been helping me at all!
RANDAL: Say, "I hate you!"
VIRGINIA: (pounding even faster) I hate you! Are you
satisfied? I don't like you in my life!
RANDAL: Good! Good!
VIRGINIA: You're bad! I don't want you and I don't need
you!
RANDAL: "Go away!"
VIRGINIA: Go away! Go away!
RANDAL: All right. (when Virginia stops pounding on the
pillow Randal takes it and helps her back to the chair) Go inside
your body. How do you feel?
VIRGINIA: Peaceful... and like there are trees all around, like
willow trees. And I'm protected under the trees. It's nice. The sun
is coming through and it's warm. It's not dark anymore.
RANDAL: Feel that lightness and those trees and the beautiful
natural setting. Doesn't that feel great? You certainly chased that
fear away. See how powerful you are? What a great lesson. Once
again you got it out. You did to it what it was doing to you. You
scared the daylights out of it. What's left is an· the trees and nice
fresh air.
VIRGINIA: Filtered air. Filtered through the leaves and the
sun. Lots of oxygen.
RANDAL: Enjoy being in this beautiful setting and breathing
the nice fresh air.
VIRGINIA: It's so much better.
RANDAL: And you deserve this. You deserve being in this
wonderful place.
VIRGINIA: I'm so happy.
RANDAL: You deserve to be happy. You paid your dues a
long time ago. You've got a lot of wonderful, joyful experiences
ahead in your life and you deserve them all. Just hang out in this
place now. You don't have to go anywhere or do anything. This is
a beautiful natural setting and the air is being filtered through the
leaves of the trees and the sunlight. It's all so good. God's beautiful
earth. You can feel very much at home here. And home here in
your body.
VIRGINIA: My body is my home! I'm safe.
RANDAL: You got my exact meaning.

VIRGINIA: (crying) I'm here. I'm home safe in my body.
RANDAL: Yes, be at home in your body. Love your body. Your
body deserves all of that love. It deserves love from within and
love from without.
VIRGINIA: (still crying softly) That's what it meant when
it said, "Look within." I can protect myself. I have the power to
protect myself.
RANDAL: Yes!
VIRGINIA: Against fear, against anything. I can do that. I'm
not a child. I'm a grown-up and I know what to do. I have it inside
of me.
RANDAL: Hallelujah!
VIRGINIA: Thank you.
RANDAL: You were visualizing this beautiful scene and I was
saying be here now, be at home here in your body. Then you said,
"I'm here! This is my body! It's me!" You got it. You got it exactly.
Feel it.
VIRGINIA: I feel it.
RANDAL: This is your body, your temple.
VIRGINIA: That's right.
RANDAL: And remember what it says in the Bible. I know
that you care very much about the Bible. Your body is a temple of
the holy spirit. Feel that. Recognize the body, the life that God has
given you. You can treat your body sacredly because it is sacred.
There has never been another you, Virginia, and there will never
be another you. Take your God~given life and use it to celebrate
yourself and this wonderful, beautiful world of ours.
You can do that just by being who you are. Who you are is a
lot of different wonderful things. Part of who you are is a great
nutritionist, helping people to be more healthy and alive. What a
wonderful work to do. And part of who you are in a bigger sense is
a great healer. The number one person who deserves your healing
is yourself. You can love that part of Virginia that has been fearful.
You can completely support her and be a wonderful nurturing
mother to her.
What would you like to say to that part of Virginia that has
needed to get that love? (Randal gets a new, soft pillow and gives
it to Virginia) Here she is. Little Ginny. Take real good care of her.
She can feel all that wonderful energy. (Virginia is giggling and
cuddling the pillow) Here is a wonderful, loving mommy. Doesn't
it feel good to love little Ginny?
VIRGINIA: Yes.
RANDAL: Now be young Ginny. How old are you now?
VIRGINIA: Five.
RANDAL: Be five year-old Ginny and feel that love from adult
Virginia. She gives you lots of love and attention and caring so
that you can have time to play, to relax, and to get a good night's
sleep so you can awaken each morning to a beautiful new day.
There are so many things to do. Sometimes you want to relax,
sometimes you want to play and at other times adult Virginia
needs to get some work done and that's fine, too. In fact you can
help adult Virginia with her creativity and you can help her to
see the wonder and the joy in the world. She can always have
her youth in you. You bring that beautiful child innocence and
wonder into Virginia's life. Isn't that wonderful? Just by being
who you are. Virginia loves you so much and you're giving so
much to her just by being you. (pause)
Just take it in. Adult Virginia take it in and five year-old Ginny
take it in. Now you're going to have a special feeling like a time
distortion where every second will be like a minute and in one
minute it'll feel like an hour of this wonderful love and attention
and bliss and harmony. I'm going to stop talking for a minute now.
VIRGINIA: (after about a minute Virginia whispers) Can I talk
to her now?
RANDAL: Adult Virginia wants to talk to five year-old
Ginny?
VIRGINIA: Yes.
RANDAL: Go ahead.
VIRGINIA: I think you're brave and you have a lot of courage.
I'm proud of you. I'm always going to protect you and you don't
have to be afraid anymore. My body is our house and we live there
together and it's a happy house. It really is! I'm going to take care
of you. There are trees all around and I'll open the windows and
there'll be so much fresh air. You're going to be so happy when you
go out to play. You can swing. It's going to be fun.
RANDAL: That's wonderful. Does five year-old Ginny want to
say anything in response? Or she can just take it in.
VIRGINIA: Thank you. I'm happy and I' trust you. You got rid
of the bogey man and we don't have to be afraid. I was more afraid
than you were but you could feel that because we're connected. We
don't have to do that anymore. When you let the sun in and the
trees were all around I felt so much better. I love you. Thank you
for getting us some help.
RANDAL: Yes, you could really feel that sun when it came out
and the trees. How good that felt. All that loving energy that is
there for you.
VIRGINIA: You'll never have to be in the dark again, ever.
RANDAL: That's right. You don't have to be in the dark again
because within you there is your own light. Whatever situations
come up you can use your light.
VIRGINIA: I can turn the light on inside.
RANDAL: That's right. Who's saying that? Virginia or Ginny?
VIRGINIA: Virginia.
RANDAL: That's good. Home sweet home. Now in your
own hypnosis process, talking to both Virginia and Ginny, you
can give yourselves a lot of TLC. In just a couple of minutes it's
going to be time to begin to come back but for right now just enjoy
this. I encourage you to give yourself a lot of nurturing in many
different ways. Most importantly, just be loving and focus on good,
loving, positive thoughts. Adult Virginia is taking care of the child
within and the child within is receiving the love of her own inner
mommy.
Know that you can always bring this kind of moment into the
here and now. Each time it'll be it's own special way. You've got
this wonderful big heart that is radiating love outwardly and also
receiving it within. You deserve that. It's a wonderful experience
to take your life back and to take charge. It's so powerful to get
that energy out of your system that you were holding in. Feel the
freedom and the tremendous love and magic that's there. There is
so much beauty around you and within you.
Taking your time, we're going to start to come back. Number
one, slowly, calmly and gently begin returning to your full,
conscious awareness once again. Number two, with each number
that I count you become more and more alert, awake and aware.
Number three, more alert, awake and invigorated with each
number. Number four, getting ready to open your eyes. On
the next number, continuing to feel this loving energy. Coming

back, number five. Open your eyes to a beautiful world. (Virginia
opens her eyes) Look around you at these beautiful faces
now.
VIRGINIA: (looking around) You look great. (laughter and
chorus of "so do you")
RANDAL: Just take it in. Take in all the love that's there for
you in the world in so many different ways. Adult Virginia as well
as little Ginny.
VIRGINIA: (Virginia cries softly) These are really tears of joy.
(to the class) Thank you for your support. I really appreciate it.
(applause)
RANDAL: (after the break) I'd like to re-emphasize the golden

rule of using Gestalt to create a safe place to take energy that we're
turning against ourselves and get that energy out. You saw how
that worked with both Virginia's brother and her fear. Virginia
really got into it and that was so good for her. Early on she was
feeling better and then there was more. The second time she really
got clear and free and she became just radiant.
VIRGINIA: It was like an epiphany. I didn't understand when
fear said to me, "Look inside yourself. It's within you." I don't
know what you said but you said something and it made me think
that this is my house.
RANDAL: I felt you were so present in the moment and in that
beautiful place in nature. I said, "You can feel very much at home
here and very much at home here in your body."
VIRGINIA: That fear was like an external thing and inside of
me it's really safe. Also, I think it was the child from what had
happened before who was really crying out because I haven't
spent that much time with her. My business' has been going so well
and I've been helping so many people but I have to admit that I've
been so busy working on everyone else that I haven't been taking
the time to do my own sessions. The child within me was feeling
fearful and screaming to be heard and recognized. The fear was
really trying to help me.
RANDAL: Yes, it was an aspect of your inner child that was
reaching out.
VIRGINIA: Right, and now I understand what those feelings
mean and I can deal with it because it's clear. It's such an awakening.
Thank you.
RANDAL: When you do this work you can get it at such deep
levels and not just intellectually. The important thing is
getting it down into your heart and to your whole cellular
being.
VIRGINIA: Exactly. It was such a release to do this.
RANDAL: Thank you, Virginia. (applause)
Interview One Year Later

RANDAL: Virginia had a profound, extremely abreactive
session two years ago, and a powerful follow-up session in class a
year ago. She had already come so far after her extremely stressful
childhood. Let's get an update.
VIRGINIA: What I'd like to share is the tremendous value
I've gained from coming here in the last three years. It's been
incredible. I've studied everything I possibly could about nutrition
and helping people and being of service. I've studied with people
I consider to be masters in different disciplines. But what I gained
here is the container that put it all together and allowed me to
utilize all the other things I've learned.
Every teacher has his or her own gifts but what I gained from
/1
Randal was immediate. I've done so much of what is called change
work" in things like NLP, and supposedly these are fast changes
that are supposed to last. It didn't last. What going really deep into
hypnosis does is allow you to get to the core, to the center of what
it's really about.
The work I did with Randal in Gestalt was incredible. The
first time I came I had major work to do around my family, which
was a gang-up type of thing that went on in my life as a child. It
hindered me in many ways, preventing me from reaching the level
of success I've reached today. Then coming back from that first
session I thought, "Oh my God! It's a catharsis. This is so great. I'm
free!" I did many wonderful things but still there was a piece left
that came up later.
RANDAL: You started to have panic attacks at times.
VIRGINIA: Yes, and when I came back the second time that
was the issue. I was having those panic attacks and I thought,
"Why, when we cleaned out everything with my whole family,

should I still have this?" I couldn't understand it. It was so heavy.
I was literally afraid to go to sleep because I would have this panic
attack that I couldn't breathe. It was like being in a coffin. This
dark blackness would just come over me. Like Randal has said, it's
what you carry. It's something that happens in childhood and you
link it to that. It's a way that the past is communicating to you and
saying, "Hey, listen to me. Something's not right here. We need to
clean it out."
When I came back and worked with Randal this last time it was
amazing because he is so gifted. I feel like I have no garbage, no
baggage, left. Since then my life has transformed into something
that is beautiful every day. I'm here to serve and to be of service
and now I have a clean vessel so I can do that. (to Randal) Thank
you so much. God bless you.
RANDAL: Thank you. (to the class) Also, Virginia has been
taking off as a success in her work. She does tremendous nutritional
consulting and so forth. Her whole life has taken off in a significant
way as a result of the work she did on herself in those two sessions.
As she said, this is incredibly powerful work.
VIRGINIA: It's the most powerful of any discipline I've ever
experienced, and I studied with Tony Robbins for 13 years. I also
studied time-line with Tad James, NLP with Sandler and Grinder,
and semantics and all kinds of structural integration. I've done so
many things with nutrition and all the inner work that I've literally
pushed my body back to 35 and I feel phenomenal. (at 51, Virginia is
very attractive and petite with the youthful skin and appearance of
a much younger woman) I couldn't have done that without a total
cleansing in spirit and mind. My whole body has been rejuvenated
because of letting go of the poison that was being released with
the constant conflict from stress. Stress depletes 90 percent of the
immune system. I'm literally getting better with each day.
RANDAL: Thank you. (applause)
Note: Certain details of Virginia's tremendous success in business

over the past year in contrast to her earlier struggle to make ends
meet are being left out because of confidentiality. Other differences
in Virginia's presence in the world are the dramatic improvements
in her confidence, projection, bearing and quality of voice.
Interview Three Years Later

RANDAL: We're doing an interview with Virginia about her
intensive sessions in class. I'll let you take over, Virginia.
VIRGINIA (facing the class): It started about four years ago
when I came to take the accelerated classes. In the first session we
did a Gestalt regression that was very powerful. It was two hours
long and in that two hours we were able to cover some major pieces
in my life. One issue was the abuse I received when I was young
from my older brother, who is a schizophrenic. Another issue was
the relationship with my sister, who is very hostile toward me to
this day. Then there was also the relationship with my mother,
which was very strained.
In the situation with my brother, he would come into my room
and suffocate me. I'd scream out for my father to help me and my
father would come in and pull him off. Then the next day I would
get beaten by my mother for causing trouble. It was not a healthy
situation and it was just amazing the way Randal was able to work
with me in that first session. At one point I was fighting and rolling
into a ball. I was on the floor and all over the place because I felt
this was my opportunity to be healed and really healthy.
The next year I came back and I was still having challenges
with my breathing so Randal did a second session. I was waking
up and going to the window at night and feeling like I couldn't
breathe. Even if I opened the window it was hard to breathe.
What we discovered was that memory in my body of my brother
suffocating me. When we dealt with that it was so wonderful. I've
never had that problem since.
The exciting news is that I've since had an opportunity to really
develop an extraordinary relationship with my mother. I had totally
forgiven her and I didn't have any hard feelings. I just wanted to
talk with her and I knew that she still had challenges with me.
I called and it turned out that she'd had a stroke and fallen. She
was very verbal, although ordinarily she's pretty guarded. I told
her I was corning to see her and she said, "Oh no, don't come
here." But I went anyway. She was cut on her face and she was
just a shell of a woman. She'd gone from 175 pounds to only 95
pounds.
When I got there I said, "Morn, why don't you come with me
and I'll rehabilitate you for a few days. I'm a nutritionist and I
have a whole supplement line. I'll take you home with me." And
she said okay. She was on 13 different medications at the time and
within three days she went into a coma and was in a hospital,
where she was pronounced clinically dead. Her glucose went from
150, which is the norm, down to 36. It was pretty traumatic.
When she came out I talked with her doctors and they agreed
that she could cut down on some of the medications. She's actually
off all of them now. This is a picture of my mom right after she had
the coma. (showing the class) She's 77. (she looks ten years older
than that and is very emaciated) If you take a close look you can
see the stitches. This is a picture of her at my birthday party three
days later, off all of the medication, and this is her two weeks later.
(there is a dramatic difference) It's been seven weeks now and she
says she loves me and she's grateful that she's with me. I am so
blessed to have her there.
RANDAL: I'll mention that Virginia is a nutritional counselor,
hypnotherapist and body worker. Her nutritional counseling is
exceptionally comprehensive.
VIRGINIA: Thank you. To give you an idea, my mother was
on laxatives and sleeping pills for 40 years and she doesn't need
any of that now. I also put her on a special oil that is really great for
keeping the myelin sheath and neurotransmitters healthy. It's also
great for energy and restores the body on a cellular level. Working
with her has been the greatest challenge of my life. In life it' s not
what you do so much, but who you become because of what you' re
doing. This whole opportunity has helped me to become a better
person.
RANDAL: And you said your panic attacks went away.
VIRGINIA: Oh, they immediately went away completely.
That's the beauty of it. It's so amazing. I'm giving you credit and
I also believe that God won't put us through more than we can
take and with that makes a way of escape. To my mother's credit,
she has that same belief and praying together has been a common
thread for us. We have that spiritual connection which is really
strong for both of us. I believe that there is a divine purpose and
I would not be able to help and have the empathy for as many
different types of people as I do now if I had not gone through
what I did. I would go through it again because where I am now
is bliss.
When I tell people my mom is living with me they say, "Oh my

God! You'll never be married now. You' re mom's living with you!"
(laughter) And I say, "Yes, it's great. It's the best thing." I just love
it. I have to really thank you (Randal) and thank God and thank
the group. It's awesome.
RANDAL: Thank you, Virginia.
From One of Virginia's Later Notes to Randal

You have been touched by the hand of God with your
remarkable gifts of healing. God has been working many miracles
through my life as well. I have learned so much from you. The
accelerated healing process was flawless; it truly catapulted my
belief system as to what is possible within a few short hours.
CHAPTER 11
Sean's Flashbacks of Possible

Molestation
Uncovering and Cathartic Clearing
SEAN: My issue is sexual abuse. I have flashbacks that first

started coming to me when doing shen therapy in December.
RANDAL: I'm not familiar with shen therapy. Is it some kind
of body work? Also, I'd like to get the context in which that issue
came up. Did it come up spontaneously while you were doing the
therapy or what?
SEAN: Shen is like a laying on of hands. I went to a shen
therapist because I was feeling depressed and images of sexual
abuse came up. It's only come up once in my life before.
RANDAL: Was it something that you were looking for in some
way or did it just come up during the therapy?
SEAN: It was spontaneous. I was surprised.
RANDAL: Had the therapist in any way suggested that this
kind of thing might come up in doing this kind of therapy?
SEAN: No.
RANDAL: That's good. These are some crucial questions for
recovered memories. It's so important for the therapist not to be
suggestive. There are some who might look for and expect that
kind of influence or possibility, so it's significant that these images
came up spontaneously on their own. Did you say that you had an
inkling of something like that coming up before?
SEAN: Yes, when I was in Freudian psychotherapy an image

like that spontaneously came up once.
RANDAL: We can definitely work on this if you feel comfortable
in front of the group.
SEAN: I'm comfortable with it if the group is comfortable.
RANDAL: I'm sure it will be good for the class to be
able to observe. How long ago did this issue first come up in
psychotherapy?
SEAN: About three years ago.
RANDAL: And it came up again while you were doing shen
therapy recently. Can you summarize the process in a sentence or
two?
SEAN: The practitioner directs the chi energy through her hands
onto various points of the body. It's roughly where the chakras are,
although it's a larger area than what is normally considered to be
the chakras.
RANDAL: Can you give us any details about what memories
came up or what you got a sense of? If there was a particular person
involved, about what age you were, that kind of thing.
SEAN: I sensed it was a man and I was very young, although I
couldn't tell what age.
RANDAL: Are you talking about before the age of ten?
SEAN: Before the age of five, I would say.
RANDAL: Are you aware of what feelings you felt at the time
this took place?
SEAN: Some feelings that came up were revulsion, shame,
anger, feeling somehow dirty and worthless.
RANDAL: Did you have an inkling at the time of whether
this seemed to happen once or if it may have happened more than
once? And maybe you don't know.
SEAN: It felt like one event.
RANDAL: As we get into the hypnosis I'd like you to keep your
conscious mind open and neutral so we can get a higher likelihood
of accuracy about any details if an incident actually happened, or
whether the memory could be symbolic of something. I know that
you only have a vague picture here and it seemed to be a man. Did
it seem to be someone you knew?
SEAN: I have an association with a pair of motorcycle goggles
that my uncle gave me. He was a motorcyclist.
Sean 's Flashbacks of Possible Molestation 197
RANDAL: Are you sensing that the goggles were in the area
at the time?
SEAN: I just had a picture of them when I experienced these
feelings. I get a sense of my uncle.
RANDAL: Okay. We have a sense of that possibility.
SEAN: I went home to Ireland for Christmas and one of the
things I brought back was a mouth organ that this uncle may have
given me. I took it to a Native American ceremony in February.
It was meant to be a healing ceremony but I left feeling quite
distressed afterwards. It seemed a very potent symbol, a mouth
organ, because the image I got was of a penis being inserted into
my mouth.
RANDAL: Did that image come to you at the time of the
ceremony?
SEAN: No, it was at the time of the therapy.
RANDAL: I want to double check on a couple of things from
your earlier Freudian work. One is that most Freudian therapists
put a strong emphasis on not being leading and on word
association, and so forth. But many Freudians also have a tendency
to see or look for sexual things. Do you remember if the therapist
was actually looking for something like that or was the therapist
neutral about it?
SEAN: She was quite neutral. When I brought it up I said,
"I can't see this as really being real," and she went along with
that. She didn't say, "Oh, it might be real." She just accepted my
interpretation.
RANDAL: I'm glad to hear she was neutral. Is there anything
you want to add about the Native American ceremony or your
shen work or anything else that might be useful to us?
SEAN: I had one session on past life therapy and this uncle
appeared briefly in that session.
RANDAL: How long ago was that?
SEAN: That was about three weeks ago.
RANDAL: In what way did your uncle appear in that
session?
SEAN: I went back to a scene from the crusades where there was
a sword in my neck. After the image of the crusades disappeared
an image came of my uncle with a sword between his legs.
RANDAL: Did that image spontaneously come up?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: It's so important to stay neutral. We don't know
if something sexual happened or not. This imagery that came up
could be symbolic rather than literal. It's not appropriate to do
regression work with possible sexual abuse without making it
really clear that there can be any number of different possibilities,
including that something could have happened, specifically with
your uncle or with someone else. Children are very perceptive and
they can tune into energy or vibes around them. They can pick
up on fears or something that is said or warnings that might be
consciously forgotten. The fact is that on some level, mentally,
physically, and/ or emotionally, there is something here that is
unfinished for you. We can deal with the essence of those issues
and see where that goes. Does that feel good to you?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: (a reclining chair is brought up and Sean moves
into it) Are you feeling comfortable?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: Look out here at my fingers and follow them as they
move toward your face. Take a nice, deep breath and fill up your
lungs. Follow my fingers as they move up now. (Randal's hand is
moving upward in circles in front of Sean's face) Good. Close your
eyelids down but continue looking up with your eyelids closed
as I count from three to one. At the count of one your eyelids lock
tightly closed. Three, two, stuck tightly together, number one. Try
to open your eyes but they're stuck tightly closed. When I touch
your shoulder relax, stop trying and go deeper. (Randal touches
Sean's shoulder)
You' re going deeper into relaxation now with every easy breath
that you take. I'm going to lift up your right foot. Let your foot
hang loosely in my hand. That's good. Take a nice, deep breath and
fill up your lungs; On the exhale, as I drop your foot, send a wave
of relaxation down your body and go much deeper. (Randal drops
his foot) We'll do that a second time. Take a nice, deep breath and
fill up your lungs. That's good. Take a deep breath now. On the
exhale send a wave of relaxation down your body. (Randal drops
his foot) We'll do the same thing with the left foot. Take a nice,
deep breath and fill up your lungs. On the exhale send a wave of
relaxation down your body. (Randal drops his foot)
Sean's Flashbacks of Possible Molestation 199
Now I'll come around and put my hands on your shoulders.

Take a nice deep breath again and fill up your lungs. On the exhale
send a wave of relaxation down your body. (Randal pushes down
as Sean exhales) Now as I rub your shoulders continue to feel
yourself going deeper and deeper relaxed.
I'm going to count from three down to one and at the count of
one only your eyelids open. I'll snap my fingers in front of your
face like that (Randal snaps his fingers) and on the finger snap
you instantly close your eyes and go deeper, even deeper than
you are at this very moment. Getting ready now, three, two, one,
open. (Randal snaps his fingers) Sleep now and go deeper. When I
say "sleep" I'm not referring to the sleep you sleep at night but to
hypnotic sleep, sleep of the nervous system. Again, three, two, one,
opening. (Randal snaps his fingers) Sleep now. That's your signal.
Going deeper. One more time, three, two, one, opening. (Randal
snaps his fingers) Sleep now, close your eyes and go deeper.
Whenever I snap my fingers and say the words "sleep now" it's a
signal to go much deeper in hypnotic relaxation.
As you continue to go deeper I'm going to put your index
and middle finger together. Imagine that I have placed powerful
epoxy glue between your fingers that is hardening and causing
your fingers to stick together. I'll take my hand away and that
glue continues to harden. (Randal removes his hand) I'm going to
count from five down to one and at the count of one you'll try to
pull those two fingers apart. You'll find that the harder you try the
tighter they squeeze together and the deeper into hypnosis you go.
Number five, stuck tightly together. Four, sealing together. Three,
as if those two fingers are a single finger. Two, on the next number
you make an effort but the harder you try the tighter they squeeze
together and the deeper into hypnosis you go. Number one, go
ahead and try to pull your fingers apart but they're stuck together
until I snap my fingers. When I snap my fingers the glue instantly
dissolves and you can separate your fingers. (Randal snaps his
fingers and Sean's fingers separate) Go much deeper now. The
glue has dissolved. As I stroke your fingers that is taking away any
remaining sensation of the glue. It has completely dissolved and
disappeared.
You continue to go deeper into relaxation, Sean, with every easy
breath that you take. I'll be checking now for ideomotor signals.
Focus on the hand that you use. I would like you to imagine, see,
hear and feel the word "yes." There is a certain finger that is your
"yes" finger. Keep thinking the word "yes" until a certain finger
begins to lift and to rise. (Sean's right index finger moves) Thank
you. I'm tapping that finger now. This is your "yes" finger. Now
think, feel, hear and see the word "no." There is a certain finger that
is your "no" finger. Keep thinking the word "no" until a certain
finger lifts up. (Sean'. s thumb moves) All right, good. I'll tap the
thumb now. This is your "no" finger.
Any time I ask for an ideomotor response to a question it's
for the purpose of eliciting information from the subconscious
mind. But if your subconscious mind somehow doesn't know the
answer, then that would be an "I don't know" response. Imagine
a big gray question mark. There is another finger on your right
hand that is your "I don't know" finger. Keep thinking the words
"I don't know" until a certain finger begins to lift. (Sean's little
finger moves) Good, we're already getting a response. Thank you.
You can rest your finger back down. The little finger is your "I
don't know" finger. If for some reason your subconscious mind
does not know how to answer a question properly with yes or
no then you can signal with your middle finger for that. (Sean's
middle finger lifts) That's correct. But I will do my best to carefully
structure the questions as much as possible to try to support your
subconscious mind in answering accurately with a "yes" or a "no"
finger signal.
Whatever answer you give in ideomotor I will appreciate. I'm
not looking for a particular answer. I'm looking for whatever is the
truth from your subconscious mind.
All right, we've been talking about some issues. Let's focus
for now on the association of emotions that you described. You
described having feelings of revulsion and shame and anger
come up for you around certain images. My question for your
subconscious mind is, is it safe and appropriate for you to become
aware of any experiences that have happened in your life that have
to do with feelings of revulsion, shame and anger? (Sean's index
finger rises) The answer to the question is yes. Thank you.
The next question I have for you, is it safe and appropriate for
you to be open to your emotions as you become aware of memories
having to do with revulsion, shame, and anger? Whatever answer
your subconscious mind wants to give is the right answer. (Sean's

index finger rises) The answer is an immediate yes.
All right, Sean, you're doing fine. My absolute, 100 percent
intention here is to be completely neutral. I'm encouraging you,
your conscious mind, your awareness, to be completely neutral.
What we're after here is to be open-minded to whatever the truth is
about anything that specifically did happen or didn't happen, that
had to do with those feelings of revulsion, shame and anger coming
up. We're going to move through a process now. Whatever feelings
or memories come up for you during this process, know that I am
here, we're here, to be completely supportive of you. Sometimes
people come up with memories not so much of incidents but of
specific energy of people, that kind of thing. Whatever awareness
comes up you are in a very supportive place here, so you can do
this in a safe way. You can get through this and it's going to work
out fine for you. In fact it will be really liberating for you. (aside
to the group) Put down your grounding cords and get yourselves
centered. Here we go.
Sean, you' re going to do great. I'll count from one up to ten. With
each number that I count you become more aware of these feelings
having to do with revulsion, having to do with shame, having to do
with anger. Some associations that you've had in your life at some
point. Number one, becoming aware of these feelings. Number
two, more aware with each number. Number three, beginning to
feel those feelings. Number four, revulsion. Number five, shame.
Number six, anger. Number seven, revulsion, shame, anger. Stay
with your feelings. Number eight, revulsion, shame, anger. Number
nine, right there. Ten. Feeling revulsion, shame, anger.
SEAN: (Sean's face has been tensing and now his mouth is
wide open and his tongue is stretched out as he makes a loud
noise) AAAHHHH!
RANDAL: (continuing loudly and rapidly) Stay with the
feelings. You're going back to an earlier time when you felt those
same feelings. Number ten, nine, eight. Going back to a time when
you felt those feelings. Seven, six, five, going back to a time when
you felt those feelings. Four, three, two, on the next number you're
right there. Stay with those feelings. One. (Sean's mouth is still
wide open and his tongue is stretched out, contorting his face)
Breathe down into your belly.
SEAN: (taking a deep breath) AAAHHHH! AAAHHHH!

RANDAL: Let the sound out! Let the sound out!
SEAN: (making a loud, drawn out noise) AAAHHHHHHHH!
RANDAL: That's good. Getting it out. You can speak now. Are
you inside or outside?
SEAN: (loudly and sounding disgusted) I'm inside.
SEAN: Daytime.
RANDAL: Are you alone or with someone else?
SEAN: Someone.
RANDAL: Are you in your house or somewhere else?
SEAN: I'm in my house.
RANDAL: Is it someone you know?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: Is it male or female?
SEAN: (shouting) Male!
RANDAL: All right, what's happening?
SEAN: He's on top of me. (Sean's voice has become shaky and
he is starting to cry) Get off!
RANDAL: If you could say whatever you want to say, what
would you say to him?
SEAN: (in a quieter voice) Get off.
RANDAL: What does he say back?
SEAN: Shut up!
RANDAL: What do you want to say to him now?
SEAN: (shouting) Get off! Get off!
RANDAL: Good. Stay in touch with your body. What do you
feel in your body right now?
SEAN: Anger.
RANDAL: Where do you feel the anger?
SEAN: My arms.
RANDAL: How do your arms feel?
SEAN: Angry. (Sean's fists are clenched)
RANDAL: All right. (Randal gets a large pillow and is holding
it in front of Sean) Imagine that this pillow in front of you is him.
(Randal guides Sean' s hands to the pillow) Hit it!
SEAN: (hitting the pillow with one hand after the other)
AAAHHHH! AAAHHHH!
RANDAL: Yes! Yes! Yes!
SEAN: (hitting very hard and intense) AAAHHHH!

RANDAL: (holding the pillow away and catching his breath)
Good! Did that push him away?
SEAN: Yes. (breathing heavy)
RANDAL: What do you want to say now?
SEAN: Get off and stay off.
RANDAL: Be aware of the feelings in your mouth. What do
you feel in your mouth? Do you feel tension there?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: (Randal gets another pillow) Take this pillow in
your mouth and bite it.
SEAN: (with the pillow in his mouth, teeth clenched)
AAAHHHHH! AAAHHHHH!
RANDAL: That's right.
SEAN: (intensifying the sound) AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
RANDAL: Again!
SEAN: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
RANDAL: Again!
SEAN: AAAHHHHHH!
RANDAL: (pulling the pillow away) Okay, good. Relax. Go
into your body. You're doing great. Stay with it.
SEAN: AAAHHHHHH!
RANDAL: All right, there's more. (this time Randal holds two
large pillows in front of Sean) Okay, you've gotten him off but it
feels like you want to hit him some more. Here he is. Go ahead and
hit him now. (Randal is leaning into the pillows with his weight as
Sean pummels the front one with both fists)
SEAN: AAAHHHH!
RANDAL: (in rhythm with Sean's punches) Hit him! Hit him!
Hit him! Hit Hirn! That's right. That's right. (both Sean and Randal
are breathing heavy as the hitting begins to slow down and stop)
Good. Good. Getting it out of your system. Now you've knocked
him away, you've beaten him up, you've knocked him onto the
ground. Go inside your body. What do you feel inside your body
right now?
SEAN: (breathless) Satisfied.
RANDAL: Good. Your mouth, your jaw, is a lot more relaxed.
Your body is a lot more relaxed. (Sean's hands are still clenched
into fists) Do you want to relax your hands and see if they feel
comfortable relaxing? (Sean loosens his hands and they open up)
Does that feel fine to relax your hands?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: Stay with it. (Sean takes a big breath) You're doing
great. You've gotten so much of that anger and that outrage out. What's
happening with him now? Is he crumpled up on the floor or what?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: You can imagine yourself now standing over him.
Is there anything more you have to say to him?
SEAN: I'm trying to see his face. I can't see who it is.
RANDAL: Do you want to see who it is?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: All right, take a look at his face. See if it's someone
you recognize.
SEAN: It looks like my older brother.
RANDAL: About how old are you?
SEAN: Three or four.
RANDAL: I want to congratulate you on how incredibly well
you did. Only three years-old, being hurt in this way, and you
pushed and fought back. You got him off and you beat him up
and you got it out of your system. Now imagine being that three-
year old with all that power you have found within you. Is there
anything further that you want to say to this person?
SEAN: Keep out of my space.
RANDAL: Good. What does he say in response? Does he say
anything? You hit him really good. He's all crumpled up on the
floor. How does he respond?
SEAN: He doesn't answer.
RANDAL: Do you know that he heard you?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: Do you sense that he's going to do what you said?
SEAN: I don't know. I don't trust him.
RANDAL: So say that to him. "I don't trust you."
SEAN: I don' t trust you.
RANDAL: Does he say anything back now? You've shaken
him up. Is he going to keep some distance now?
SEAN: I think he will but I still don't trust him.
RANDAL: That's understandable and I appreciate that. Is there
anything else you have to say to him?
Sean 's Flashbacks of Possible Molestation 205
SEAN: I'm sad.

RANDAL: What are you sad about?
SEAN: That he wanted to harm me. (tears have been running
down Sean's face and Randal has been wiping the tears with a tissue)
RANDAL: That' s something to be sad about, you bet. It's okay
to cry. It's good to cry. You may have said all you need to say to
him right now because you don't need to be with him anymore.
You've become very strong and you've pushed him away. You've
told him how you feel. Is it time for us to send him away?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: Okay, so let's send him away. When you were a
young child there was something that you had to deal with that was
very difficult and which would have been a horrendous situation
for anyone in your position. I'm talking to that three year-old. Yes,
that happened then, but the world is different now. There is a part
of you that is a three year-old within the body, the mind, the spirit,
of a powerful, healthy, compassionate, strong, full-grown man.
You are now protected. Your brother was someone who was not to
be trusted but that was then and here you are now. You're safe and
your healing is taking place.
While keeping in touch with the part of you that is three, I
would like you to bring in your adult self to analyze if there is
something that you have been doing until now.in your life as a result
of that terrible experience that you had at the age of three. Is there
some way that you have been holding yourself back or blocking
or not being fully alive, or whatever it is? Some misconception or
misunderstanding about the world? Analyze that now with your
adult self. When you get some realization you can signal with your
"yes" finger. (after a pause Sean signals) All right. When I touch
your shoulder you'll be able to speak and say something about
how that experience has been affecting you until now.
SEAN: (tears rolling down his cheeks) I never felt I could be
my true self.
RANDAL: That experience was so stifling to you until now
that it was keeping you from being your true self, is that right?
SEAN: Yes, it was like I had a guilty secret.
RANDAL: Adult Sean, I would like you to talk to three year-
old Sean about this guilty secret that made him feel he could never
fully be himself. What do you want to tell that three year-old boy?
SEAN: It wasn't your fault.

RANDAL: Good, because he didn't know that until now. Say
that again.
SEAN: It wasn't your fault.
RANDAL: All right. (Randal gets a small pillow and places it
into Sean's arms) This is three year-old Sean. Tell him that again.
SEAN: (softly) It wasn't your fault.
RANDAL: (Randal uses a tissue to wipe tears from Sean's face)
That's right. Now be three year-old Sean. You are being held by
adult Sean who is giving you his loving, 100 percent support here.
Can you take that in now, little Sean? Can you understand the truth
of that when he tells you it's not your fault?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: What would you like to say in response to big
Sean?
SEAN: (crying) Can I catch up for things I missed?
RANDAL: Adult Sean, what do you want to say in response?
SEAN: Yes, of course you can.
RANDAL: (wiping tears and stroking Sean's hands) That's
right. It's so good to cry. Tell little Sean how he can catch up with
all the things that he missed, the good things that he was
unable to fully enjoy. Tell him about what he has in store for
him now.
SEAN: We can go out. We can play. We can go to the park. We
can find people to play with. We can make things.
RANDAL: Very good. Now switch and be three year-old Sean.
Does that sound good?
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: Now three year-old Sean, if you could imagine
having an ideal father, what would he be like? What would he
look like?
SEAN: He would be about nine feet tall.
RANDAL: Does he look like someone you know or is he a
giant, powerful man you don't recognize?
SEAN: He' s no one I know.
RANDAL: I don't know anyone nine feet tall either, but you
can imagine this nine foot tall, loving, powerful, protective father
that can take you places, teach you things, help you to have fun.
SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: He'll be a good daddy to you. He's going to protect

you really well. You can have that nine foot tall father because he's
a part of you now. That inner child had something very unfair
happen and has not had a chance to fully open up and trust and
experience the world. There is nothing to keep you from doing that
now. Feel how safe you feel. This is your inner father and you can
trust him completely. He loves you very much and you deserve
all of that love. Now when we switch be the nine foot tall daddy
to three year-old Sean, giving him a nice big hug. You're powerful
but you're gentle and you're hugging this beautiful little boy. Is
there anything you'd like to say to him?
SEAN: I won't let anyone hurt you.
RANDAL: All right, be three year-old Sean. Boy, you know
he's telling you the truth, don't you?
SEAN: Uh huh.
RANDAL: You know he's going to take really good care of
you, don't you?
SEAN: Uh huh.
RANDAL: And within this protection you can feel both your
innocence and your power. You can feel your freedom. You can
open up to a great, big beautiful world. There is a lot of love out
there, a lot of good, loving energy. Unfortunately, life isn't always
fair and some of us have to go through very difficult things. There
are a lot of ways you can begin to heal from that. One of the things
you can do is to practice some regular self-hypnosis, Sean, and
explore, with this beautiful three year-old boy, being protected and
helped by this giant, powerful daddy. This daddy that can take
real good care of you.
You can imagine both being the child and being the powerful
daddy that loves this boy within. We know that this daddy is
going to take very good care of this boy. You can feel it from both
perspectives. You can do self-hypnosis when you go to bed at
night and visualize this daddy who loves to take his three year-old
wherever he likes to go. The two of you can have a wonderful time
together.
Adult Sean, you have complete freedom now to be fully and
completely you. Why don't you say something about that. What
does it mean for you to be everything that you can be? Talk about
the wonderful person who is you.
SEAN: I'm compassionate ... spiritual... sensual... intelligent...

good looking ... strong ... witty... intuitive.
RANDAL: You've got all kinds of wonderful qualities. All of
those and a whole lot more. And you know you had those qualities
before but you have them even more now. There was a part of
you that was holding back, that was not fully owning or fully
recognizing that these truly are your qualities. As you let go of
your misconceptions from the past you see crystal clear, with all
parts of your subconscious, that this other person was someone
who did something very wrong. You were innocent. You couldn't
help what happened at the time. Nothing like that is ever going to
happen again.
You're free now to truly know deep within your subconscious
mind, that you are lovable and kind and spiritual and compassionate
and good looking and strong and confident. Deep down ·you
know that you have those wonderful qualities and much more.
You can feel great exuberance and vitality from deep within all of
your different chakras. Letting them express themselves forth in
healthy and wholesome and radiant ways, as if your whole
being is shouting (shouting) I am! And you are. (Sean is
smiling)
Take your time and take it all in, Sean. You can be adult Sean
and feel your strong, healthy, lovable adult. And you can be three
year-old Sean, a wonderful, joyful boy who can now come out and
play and be safe and protected. You can also be this wonderful
giant man who is this boy's father and takes such good care of
him. That means that you really nurture this boy inside of you.
You make sure that you give him the right kind of environment,
including your loving support and approval. Help him to enjoy
himself, to play and have fun, to be creative and spontaneous.
And you can have a balance because sometimes you can be
spontaneous and other times you need to be focused or disciplined.
You can be a good, loving father who gives a wise balance of
appropriate discipline and a lot of love and affection and approval.
(Sean takes a deep breath) That's good to breathe down into your
belly, into your lungs, into your whole body. Go inside your body
and notice how you feel. Do you want to give a report?
SEAN: Most of it is relaxed. There is still some tension here
(motioning to his neck) which I think is from another incident.
RANDAL: Your body is mostly relaxed and yet there is this

tension possibly from another incident. You've just worked through
a very difficult incident and that can be complete for now. Does
that sound good for you? (Sean nods) You've done a great day's
work here. If there is something residual in that area from another
incident it's possible that your aliveness from this work may help
to dissolve that and allow it to fade away. I don't know, I'm just
saying that it's certainly possible. We can let that be for now.
SEAN: Okay.
RANDAL: You've done great. Feel how clear you feel. Much of
your body is feeling so good, so peaceful, so complete, so whole, so
powerful and so open to love and approval. (turning to the class)
And now I would like to ask if there is anybody in the class who
would like to say something to Sean before we bring him up out
of the hypnosis?
JANET: You did a great job.
SHARON: You have a lot of great qualities and I really enjoy
what you contribute to the class.
ALICE: I second that, Sean. You are a very nice and
compassionate man.
NOREEN: Sean, it's been an honor to share your courage.
DEBRA: Your ability to work with people really comes from
your experience.
BARBARA: Everybody is thrilled for you, Sean. Everybody
here is so happy that you have been healed in this way.
TRACY: That's very true. We're all so pleased.
CINDY: I want you to know that you always have been and
will be the innocence of a divine child of God.
RANDAL: That's poetry. All of this is beautiful. (Sean has been
listening intently to everyone's comments and tears are running
down his face)
RON: Sean, you're very gifted and I know you're a great
hypnotherapist.
RANDAL: Thank you all very much. (wiping Sean's tears)
You've done great. I appreciate you for having the courage and trust
to deal with your inner issues so deeply and powerfully. You're
going to find new experiences of living your life on expanded
levels in so many different ways. Deep down truly feeling at peace
with yourself, truly liking, appreciating, and loving yourself for
the magnificent person that you are. There has never been anyone
like you and there will never be anyone like you again.
I'm going to help you return to your full, conscious awareness
now, Sean. You have plenty of time as you come back more and
more to your full, conscious alert self. Number one, slowly,
gently, easily becoming more and more alert, awake and aware.
Continuing with the gifts of yourself, bringing them with you. You
have them in and out of hypnosis. Number two, tapping into all
of your awareness and energy and vitality as you return to your
full conscious awareness. Number three, becoming more and more
alert, awake and invigorated with each number. Getting ready to
come back, number four. On the next number you open your eyes
and are fully alert, awake and aware. Coming back, number five.
(Sean opens his eyes) That's right. Welcome back. (pause) You look
great.
SEAN: Thanks.
RANDAL: You have a very peaceful quality. I wish you could
see yourself right now. Welcome home.
SEAN: You're not quite nine feet tall but you give a good
impression. (laughter)
RANDAL: Well, thanks. I'm pretty tall (Randal is 6' 4") but I've
never claimed to be that tall. That's quite a complement. (applause)
Look around at these beautiful people in the room and make a
connection here. We're going to be taking a break now and we'll
talk about the session after the break.
RANDAL: (after the break) This session was a good example

to demonstrate the importance of being neutral when there is
suspicion of a possible childhood trauma that's not consciously
remembered. In this day and age the classic example is sexual.
Besides being neutral yourself it's so important to encourage
your client to be neutral so you can both come at it with an open
mind. When a therapist is expecting that something has happened,
as some therapists do, or even when a client is expecting that
something happened and a therapist doesn't encourage that person
to be neutral, then the imagination can be influential in this highly
suggestible state. By being neutral and truly looking for whatever
the truth is, we can get more accurate memories and details from
the subconscious mind.
Sometimes people expect that something happened and it

turns out that they were just very intuitive and aware of the energy
another person was carrying, or even thoughts, which can have
a strong influence on very sensitive children. Ie s so important to
keep an open mind.
We've begun some coverage of regression work in lecture
and we had a group hypnosis, but this was the first regression
demonstration in this class. I'd like to point out that this was a fine
example of a highly emotional reliving of an experience, called an
abreaction. We witnessed quite a catharsis. A question came up
during the break about that. If a person has had a whole bunch of
experiences, is it possible that a catharsis can keep going on for an
hour or so? It hasn't been my experience that a client would need to
go on that long. I would say that this session involved a moderate
length catharsis. Many times working through childhood trauma
won't have the intensity.that we saw in this session or it will be
different, such as a release of grief, rather than the anger and so
forth that came out here.
Whatever occurs, I encourage all of the repressed feelings to
get out. Sean was experiencing tension in different parts of his
body and I wanted him to get all of that out of his system. That
can take as long as a person needs to get it out. Sean got out a
tremendous amount of intensity very quickly and that was so
good for him.
Those are a few thoughts. You can be ready for anything with
this work. Sometimes strong emotions arise, sometimes not. Each
situation is different. Is there anything else you'd like to say at this
point, Sean?
SEAN: I'm glad I got all of that out. I'm not perfectly clear about
what exactly happened and I don't think it's all that necessary for
me to know.
RANDAL: No, it isn't. What you needed was to shift and
clear away negative energy and blocks that were limiting you.
I've seen people do that with less memory corning back than you
had. The importance can be not so much in the details as it is in
dealing effectively, as you did very powerfully, in clearing that
energy away.
SEAN: It will be interesting to see if my relationship with my
brother changes. We've never had a good relationship.
RANDAL: That will be interesting to see. Is he in Ireland?

SEAN: Yes.
RANDAL: Do you go back there periodically?
SEAN: I'll probably be there in June.
BARBARA: When something comes up like that in a memory
and it seems to be associated with a particular person, what are the
odds of that being the reality?
RANDAL: Do you mean is there a chance that it wasn't his
brother as it seemed to be? When doing regression work we don't
get Polaroid snapshots or motion pictures. Memories that come up
can combine different life experiences or associations or dreams
or fantasies. There is not a guarantee that it was his brother who
was on top of him. The importance, as far as I'm concerned, is that
something like that happened in his life. Maybe it was exactly that
and maybe not, but being dominated, being bullied, the invasion
of his personal space, the repulsion of an experience, did happen,
and in some ways with his brother. That's what we worked with.
BARBARA: So when Sean faces these people later on he doesn't
really know Which person was involved.
RANDAL: When a person is angry at someone for something
that isn't consciously remembered and then he gets a lot of that
energy out of his system, the likelihood is of a shift in the energy
with that person. With everything Sean got out of his system the
probability is that there has been a shift in which the relationship
with his brother will improve. (to Sean) I think the fact that
you've had difficulty with your brother all of your life and now
you've gotten so much anger out, that you may feel a lot clearer
with him.
Emotional clearing isn't about helping people to build up
their energy to sue their parents or some such ridiculous thing.
This is about working through things so you can ultimately let
go of hostilities, let go of unfinished business, stop internalizing
negative energy and move on. Ultimately, if people can, to be able
to forgive and get on with life.
MARK: Can the same extensive work be done in self-hypnosis
without having guidance?
RANDAL: I would not recommend that anyone do this kind of
cathartic work in self-hypnosis. I would say that for people working
on releasing anger, sometimes hitting a punching bag or taking a
tennis racket and whacking balls can be a good thing. But as far as
going into self-hypnosis and trying to lead oneself in regression to
deal with a traumatic experience, even with all of my experience, I
wouldn't do that myself. I would want to have a supportive guide
there with me, especially when dealing with trauma, whether
the exploration became cathartic or not. Dealing with trauma in
regression is not something to be done in self-hypnosis.
GOLi: (to Randal) I just want to say that your compassion
really struck me. As a therapist, it was very interesting for me to
actually see how calm and compassionate you are as you work.
Then the part where you were able to hold those pillows while
Sean hit them with such great force. I wouldn't be able to do that
because there was so much power coming out of that.
RANDAL: When he was hitting I was really leaning into it.
At first I was only holding one pillow and then I got two the next
time. Two big ones. (laughter)
GOLi: I was thinking that if I were there instead of you I
wouldn't be able to do that because of my size.
RANDAL: I appreciate that and there are a couple of things I
can say. In private practice when I'm expecting to do regression
work that might involve some intensity, I sometimes have a person
lie down on a mattress instead of a reclining chair. We can have a
man hit the mattress with his fists and get his energy out that way,
or hit upwards at a large pillow. When you're hitting upwards, if
the pillow is high enough and the person can just barely reach it,
then you could be holding it up and letting it bounce or give way
with the hit.
When Sean's hands went into fists I was debating on doing one
of two things. I could have him hit with his fists or I could have him
squeeze a big pillow. That's an alternative thing you can do when
you're with someone who is a lot bigger and stronger than you. In
this case the energy was going into his hands but sometimes when
there is anger that needs to be released it can be done with kicking.
The person could kick up and down on a mattress, or if you're
strong enough you can do the same thing by having the person
kick outwards at a big pillow that you're holding. Anyone of any
size can work with someone by having them kick up and down on
a mattress.
We're out of time for now. Thanks again, Sean. (applause)
Interview One Week Later

RANDAL: How you're doing now, Sean? Have you had any
insights or has anything changed or shifted in your awareness
since your session?
SEAN: The immediate effect was that I was very tired. I had a
bath and went to bed early and the next day when I got up I was
just exhausted.
RANDAL: You did an incredibly intensive process.
SEAN: Yes, and I was very disoriented. I was supposed to
be reading something for my thesis and I stayed on the sofa for
most of Monday. I started to feel more integrated by the evening. I
have been less aware of the tension in my face throughout the week and
someone that I saw on Friday said, "Oh, your face looks much lighter."
RANDAL: Your face does look lighter. It looks more relaxed.
I remember at one point you were holding a lot of tension in your
jaw and I had you bite into a pillow.
SEAN: I've had a couple of memories come up from my early
childhood. Very neutral memories of the house I lived in, that
kind of thing. No major connections with the work we did. What
I remember most vividly about the session is the smell of the lilies
that were here on the table and your hand touching mine. Both of
those seemed to be very healing.
RANDAL: Some therapists believe in never touching their
clients, but that would eliminate some effective rapid induction
options, and is not realistic when doing emotional clearing work in
hypnosis. Beyond the touch of helping someone get in a particular
position or make a movement, I go with my intuition. You were
going through such an intense experience that I wanted to offer
my support. As you think of your older brother now is there any
thought that comes to your mind or any difference between how
you felt before the session and after?
SEAN: Immediately afterwards I felt more well disposed
toward him and more inclined to get in touch with him. I will be
sending him a card on his birthday this month.
RANDAL: Do you usually send him birthday cards?
SEAN: Some years I do and some I don't, but I will be sending
him one this year. .
RANDAL: You became aware during the session of your
brother being very dominant and being on top of you. We don't
need to go into any details, but was the extent of his aggression
entirely on that level as opposed to what you were wondering
earlier about it being sexual? It didn't necessarily sound like a
sexual image but I don't know and I want to get a sense of what it
seemed like to you.
SEAN: I'm not very clear on that.
RANDAL: So what you got was that you knew there was
a way in which he was being very hurtful and dominating you
physically, and that's as much as you know. We can assume that
there isn't necessarily any more than that even though you had
had a thought of something sexual before. You had all of those
feelings of shame, anger, feeling dirty, feeling worthless. I had you
get in touch with those feelings and go back to a time when you
felt that and you went back to this incident, which may be the most
significant incident.
If you felt like you were fighting for your survival in the way
your brother was being, that's plenty of reason to feel what you
were feeling. That doesn't mean that there is something more or
that there isn't, it's just that you needed to go there and you did
that. You worked it through and you did a great job with that. (to
the class) The affect bridge is such a good tool to tap a person into
a feeling and take them back to something major that happened at
an earlier time. And it may not be what you expect it to be. Sean
did a terrific job in staying present with those feelings and working
through them.
SEAN: So did you.
RANDAL: Thank you. Does anyone have a question?
SHARON: When a client comes back after such an experience
is there a way that you can start to rebuild the subconscious feeling
for the family member or whoever it was? I feel Sean was left with
a lot of doubt about his brother.
RANDAL: You're talking about doing that afterwards but
we did that during the session. As I suspected, Sean's response
was the opposite. He just communicated that after the session
he immediately felt better toward his brother, who he never
previously had a good relationship with. A sign of how this
therapy works is that even when you uncover a negative memory,
it had not been subconsciously forgotten. There were things going
on all these years in Sean's subconscious about his brother that
216 C ATHARSIS IN REGRESSION HYPNOTHERAPY
had been manifesting as a distrust and an alienation. For him to

finally bring it to the surface and face it consciously helped him to
work through it, to express his anger and get that upset out of his
system. It actually helped bring him closer to his brother.
SHARON: What about doing further healing work with him?
RANDAL: At this point I'm not getting a lot of charge on that
and it doesn't seem that we necessarily have to do that.
(Randal wants Sean to enjoy his current sense of completion.
He doesn't want to pressure him with potential doubt via
encouraging mental expectancy for further sessions. Sean might
want some more therapy regarding similar issues sooner or later,
but he'll know if it comes up.)
If Sean were coming back for a session I would just ask him
what's going on and how he's feeling. As in Gestalt, you deal
with what emerges. I would check out how he's feeling about his
brother, as I did. I think that healing is taking place on its own
and will continue in real life. If Sean is putting out an olive leaf
then I would be surprised if there isn't significant improvement in
the relationship. (to Sean) I have a feeling that when you go back
to Ireland you're going to be feeling reasonably good about your
brother and he may seem to be different towards you. I've seen
that happen and sometimes it's amazing. A client might not have
spoken to someone for ten years and then after a process like this,
the next day the other person calls from across the country. I feel that
people are connected in a lot of different ways and I feel it's possible
that there could be a shift already from your brother's standpoint.
STEVEN: Sean, last week you spoke about your uncle and a lot
of negative images that came up during other therapies. What is
your feeling about your uncle now?
SEAN: I don't know if there is more to resolve with my uncle
at this point.
RANDAL: I think you've responded right to the point. Even
though you were really focused on your uncle, nothing came up
in the hypnosis. That doesn't mean that there isn't something
there but it might not be anything more than not liking his vibes
and not trusting him. You could have an intuitive sense about
that. (to the class) That in itself could lead to the kind of imagery
Sean experienced. I encourage people not to assume that there is
necessarily anything more than that. The important thing is to go
with what emerges. Something may have happened with his uncle
in some way, but it could be verbal abuse or an intense personality
clash.
I think it is significant that Sean did, as I encouraged him to
do, keep an open mind. It's very important in this work for both
of us not to have expectations. The subconscious mind thinks
metaphorically and even though Sean got certain specific images
about his uncle in those processes he described last week, that
doesn't mean that things like that literally happened. Things can
get interpreted symbolically. If someone gets a flash of a possible
sexual abuse memory, for example, there may be something very
specific there and there may not be. I've had a whole range of
experiences with clients in therapy where in some cases there is an
unexpected discovery of sexual abuse, and in other cases people
thought there was something and it turned out not to have been
sexual abuse. And in some cases people know they have been
sexually abused and want to work through it, and surprises often
still occur during the therapy regarding the specific memories and
realizations that emerge.
Commentary
The importance of how careful a therapist has to be about
not being influenced by expectations, including expectations of
the client, was clearly demonstrated in this session. In the pre-
induction interview Sean talked about images of being sexually
abused by a man. Then during the affect bridge in hypnosis,
while beginning to uncover a buried memory, he began to stick
his tongue out, mouth gaping, in great discomfort and disgust. It
would be easy to make an assumption at that point that this was a
revivification of being sexually molested by a man. Without even
realizing it as an assumption, a seemingly careful therapist could
easily implant a false memory during such sensitive uncovering
work by merely asking if that is what he is experiencing. The
following chapter explores further details about the importance of
maintaining neutrality throughout a session.
An important aspect of this work is going with what emerges.
The memory that was retrieved and the work Sean did was the
most urgent direction to go in this session. Yet the work done was
not proof that he did not have a molestation experience with his
uncle, his brother, or anyone else. When I contacted Sean by phone

three months later he stated that he felt at peace with his brother,
complete in the therapy, and was doing well. That could be a sign
that he was never molested by anyone, or it could be that this
session and his other therapy and life experience had helped him
to work through what he needed to about that, at least for the time
being.
In contrast to this session, the presenting issue of .a session in
Regression Hypnotherapy, Volume One, was not expected to be
regarding molestation, but turned out to be. Molestation is an all-
too-common phenomenon, along with other traumas that can also
be deeply disturbing. The work that can be done, using sensitive,
skilled hypnotherapy with a motivated client, can yield profound
therapy regardless of the form of initial sensitizing and secondary
reinforcing traumas.
CHAPTER 12
Issues of Potential Sexual Abuse
The Subtleties of Neutrality

The companion volume to this book addresses various issues
regarding recovered memories, including a chapter that is devoted
to the subject. As discussed, sexual abuse is tragically a common
occurrence and many therapists emphasize this area of therapy.
It is essential in this work to be aware of ramifications and the
influence of unintended suggestions, including within the use
of supposedly non-hypnotic modalities. Revisiting and further
exploring this important topic will be useful. The tremendous
potential effects of suggestibility are well documented in placebo
studies and provide an essential message for all professionals in
the health and counseling fields to be exceedingly careful when
communicating with patients or clients about their conditions.
Neutrality is crucial when doing regression therapy and
especially so when any form of child abuse may have occurred.
It can be a red flag when a therapist specializes in the healing
of sexual abuse and records an unusually high percentage of
such recovered memories. Even the client's awareness of such a
specialty in itself can be a strong suggestion for underlying sexual
abuse. The consumer needs to be careful to seek counsel only from
reputable, knowledgeable and responsible counselors. And when
working with individuals in a counseling situation, therapists
need to keep personal agendas or theories out of their work. What
we're seeking is the truth from the subconscious of the presenting
individual within a neutral setting.
The preceding session with Sean clearly demonstrates the

necessity of neutrality on the part of the therapist in terms of having
an open mind, in not being influenced by any expectations of the
client, and encouraging the client to have an open mind. Initially in
this session Sean said he had been sexually abused and suspected
it might have been his uncle. As the hypnotherapy unfolded, the
relevant memory that arose had to do with his brother. It was
unclear whether that experience had a sexual context. Ironically,
the uncovering of any further details about the incident became
unnecessary or perhaps was even deliberately avoided by Sean's
subconscious. Sean was satisfied with the amount of details
that surfaced and his work was healing for him regarding his
relationship with his brother and in general. In the context of a
single session or a series of sessions, sometimes a client needs to
get just enough of a particular memory, and that can be preferable
to examining more details. It is important to recognize that therapy
is never about satisfying the curiosity of the therapist.
Lessons from the Case of Holly Ramona

By taking a deeper look at a major case we can further focus
on some of the inappropriate therapeutic methods that can set up
a suggestive environment for eliciting "recovered" memories. It
will also help us to more fully appreciate some of the potentially
dangerous and complex consequences.
Almost five years before the famous 1994 court case of Holly
Ramona, her mother, Stephanie Ramona, flew to Irvine, California
where 19 year-old Holly would soon return to college. Stephanie
met with Marche Isabella, a marriage and family therapist, to
discuss her daughter's depression and eating disorder. When
Isabella described what could cause bulimia, Stephanie responded
that almost every example she was giving had to do with sexual
abuse. Isabella replied that 70% to 80% of eating disorders were
a result of early childhood molestation, a possible cause that
Stephanie had never considered. (In fact, most studies show the
chances of a history of sexual abuse for bulimics to range from
28% to 60%.) Initial conjecture about underlying traumatic causes
of a disorder to a client would be inappropriately setting up a
suggestive environment. But Isabella hadn't even waited to meet
her potential client before beginning to plant suggestions. On her
Issues of Potential Sexual Abuse 221
flight back home to northern California, Stephanie kept wondering

if her daughter, Holly, could have been molested, and asked her
about that when she got home.
When Holly agreed to see Isabella for private therapy the
possibility of early childhood sexual abuse was brought up
immediately. In the first few months of therapy Isabella repeatedly
prodded her to try to remember if she was molested as a child, but
Holly did not recall any such memories. Then Holly started having
apparent memories of sexual abuse by her father that occurred
between the age of five and eight. These memories did not surface
during any therapy sessions but they were discussed and became
the focus of the therapy. As the sessions continued, further apparent
memories returned outside of therapy and continued after the
therapy had concluded.
The Ramona family psychiatrist was consulted, who in
turn contacted Isabella. The psychiatrist felt that Gary Ramona
should be confronted and that he could be potentially violent.
Isabella was against the confrontation and called in an affiliate
psychiatrist, Richard Rose, to perform a psychiatric evaluation.
Rose administered sodium amytal to determine whether Holly's
memories were true recovered memories. It was referred to as a
kind of "truth serum." Rose assured Holly that the images of abuse
that came up for her were real.
Isabella agreed to be in attendance at a confrontation with Gary
Ramona only after Holly was hospitalized at Western Medical.
When Gary arrived, both he and Isabella were surprised that Holly
had also asked her mother to join them. There, in what Gary later
called an ambush, Holly accused her father of multiple sexual
assaults against her, which he vehemently denied.
Several months after the confrontation, and against the advice
of Isabella, Rose, and her mother, Holly filed suit against her father.
Gary Ramona, who commanded a salary of nearly $500,000 a year
as a vice president of Robert Mondavi Winery, had lost his job,
his wife, and contact with Holly and his other two daughters. He
counter-filed a suit against her therapists and the hospital, alleging
that they had taken advantage of Holly's condition and extreme
suggestibility; subjected her to unwarranted and speculative
suggestions that her condition must have been caused by early
sexual abuse by her father; administered sodium amytal to Holly, a
sedative demonstrated to lead to disorientation and hallucinations;

and misrepresented to Holly that the fantasies and hallucinations
caused by sugg'estion and the drug sodium amytal were reality.
Gary Ramona's suit came to trial before Holly's case against
him. The jury found in favor of him and the press announced that
he had been exonerated. However, this case is not that simple. A
post-verdict interview with the jury foreman revealed, "We all get
disturbed when Mr. Ramona captured the headlines by claiming
a victory of sorts, when we know the case did not prove that he
did not do it." All of the jury members were impressed with the
considerable combination of disturbing circumstantial evidence
produced against Gary Ramona. However, their job was to
deliberate on whether therapeutic methods used had constituted
malpractice - and they had found that to be so. The jurists felt that
the therapists had not implanted the memories but had reinforced
them. While there were obviously wrongful therapy methods used,
that does not preclude a possibility that the alleged perpetrator in
this case may have been guilty.
Coaxing clients to rack their brains to dig up a memory that
a therapist suspects is buried is archaic, highly suggestive and
dangerous at best. If a therapist is on a mission with a preconceived
notion or projection, or in some other way becomes suggestive
to negative possibilities, the results can be devastating, as per
examples given in the Recovered Memories chapter of Volume I.
Appropriate hypnotherapeutic methods allow a client to get to
whatever the issues are without ever suggesting what they might
be. Such methods do not probe with the assumption that a major
memory is repressed. Whatever needs to surface will do so in a
supportive therapeutic environment without having to try to force
something out.
When abuse of some kind is recalled, therapy isn't about
finding the perpetrator in order to punish him or her. It is about
helping the victim work things out within in order to heal and
move on. (That is not to say that the public does not need to be
protected against child abusers. If a child molester confesses, the
therapist has a moral and legal obligation to report it. But if a victim
develops an apparent recovered memory, that by itself is legally
inadmissible.) As was stated in the first volume, good therapy
leads to maturation (as per the Gestalt definition of moving toward
Issues of Potential Sexual Abuse 223
self-support), self-expression, inner strength and acceptance, self-

actualization, peace and in some cases forgiveness. Good response
to therapy does not lead to suing one's parents.
Recovering Memories with Minimum Inaccuracy

The recovery of any possible traumatic memory, including
potential sexual abuse, needs careful, neutral attention during
therapy. We have tremendous tools available with hypnotherapy
for uncovering work and to increase recollection in ways that
minimize inaccuracy. The recall of memories in or out of therapy is
not perfect, but hypnosis used properly can significantly heighten
recall.
Psychiatrist Lenore Terr, author of Unchained Memories: True
Stories of Traumatic Memories, Lost and Found, worked with battered
and traumatized children and their parents for 30 years. She noted
that in instances of overwhelming terror, the normal process of
memory encoding is disrupted. Sensations and images can be
recorded without the actual story and stored in discreet areas of
the brain that are hard to reach. In cases of molestation and other
traumas that result in repressed memories, hypnosis can help bring
them to the surface even decades later.
Knowing that traumatic memories can be repressed and may
later be recalled, it is essential to be absolutely neutral in working
with someone who remembers or "has a feeling" that he or she
has been sexually abused or starts to come up with a memory in
hypnosis that seems to hint at sexual abuse. In the highly suggestible
state of hypnosis, well-meaning therapists can manipulate clients
into creating false recollections. A naive or untrained therapist may
unknowingly create a false memory by asking questions that are
interpreted literally by the subconscious and become a suggestion,
such as, "Are you being abused?" or "Is someone touching you in
an inappropriate manner?" Even much less suggestive questions
can be taken as suggestions.
Most age regression hypnotherapy ends up focusing on
memories that were never forgotten, although heightened details
of the memories are normal, a phenomenon called hypermnesia.
Eliciting memory recall of a major event that had been completely
forgotten consciously, or subconsciously repressed, can be a
secondary effect of regression therapy. In forensic hypnosis it
can be a purpose or goal, but not usually in regression therapy.

Heightened memory recall during the course of regression therapy
is demonstrated throughout the sessions of these volumes.
An Exception to the Neutrality Rule

When helping to revivify memories, I almost always phrase my
questions to be absolutely neutral." Are you inside or outside?" "Is
it nighttime or daytime?" "What is happening now?" "How do
you feel?" By careful, neutral questioning, the client has the best
possibility to actually revivify memories of an experience without
forming and developing a new or distorted image.
The exception would be to initially err, in a limited way, on
the side of asking about a positive possibility or asking among the
least negative in the realm of possibilities. For example, suppose
a client has been regressed via the affect bridge to a young age
and is aware of being in bed and feeling terrified. However, in
this unusual case she's not getting any more details and doesn't
know what is causing her to be terrified. I would encourage her
to stay with her feelings, and I might ask if she was just asleep
or has been awake. If she realizes she was asleep I might ask if
she's responding to a dream or something else. If it's not a dream
I might ask if she thought of something, heard something, or it's
something else. And so forth. If I ultimately feel it necessary to
offer possibilities and I am not strictly neutral, I give less negative
possibilities first.
A limited skewing of some initial or selected directional
questions toward the less negative possibilities in this manner
would not prevent a client from recovering a memory of something
much more serious. On the contrary, it would lead to the essential
truth that needs to be recalled, and will usually achieve that quite
quickly. However, a slight negative skewing or even an early
question intended to be asked in a neutral way (such as whether
anyone is with you) could trigger fears that cause a fantasy that
could seem to be a memory. This is an example of why we must tread
especially gently when working with memory and trauma. With
the appropriate use of comprehensive regression hypnotherapy
methods the process is safe and can be profoundly rewarding.
CHAPTER 13
Rita's Road Rage

The Explosive Driver
RANDAL: Do we have a volunteer? (Rita raises her hand) Rita,

would you like to come up here?
RITA: (Rita sits down next to Randal and lets out a big sigh)
I'm suddenly very hot. (taking off her sweater)
RANDAL: Well, you're in the hot seat. (laughter) What would
you like to work on?
RITA: I have an ongoing issue that's been with me as long as I
can remember, which is that I have a tremendous amount of anger
that gets triggered by emotional situations. For instance, when my
dad passed away I found myself really, really angry. It was almost
uncontrollable when dealing with people around all of the things
that had to be done. I also find that it comes up very often when
I'm driving. If someone cuts me off in traffic the level of anger I feel
is ... rationally I can say that it's not appropriate, but what I feel is
this tremendous surge of anger. I feel that this level of unresolved
anger affects me a lot.
RANDAL: Is this something that goes back to before you
became an adult?
RITA: Absolutely. I'd say that it's essentially related to my
family because my brother has the same issue.
RANDAL: This may not necessarily fit but would you say that one
of your parents has the same issue of suddenly getting very angry?
RITA: Not about traffic but yes, one of my parents lacks control
of anger.
RANDAL: Which parent?

RITA: My father.
RANDAL: When you get angry when you're alone in the car
do you scream and yell or do you hold it in or shake your fist or
what?
RITA: If I'm by myself I make comments. I don't scream and
yell but I might say something sarcastic or disparaging to myself.
It's not like I think the person is going to hear me. More than that
though, I may do something dangerous.
RANDAL: Aha. The plot thickens. (laughter)
RITA: I'm embarrassed to have to talk about this, but it's
affecting my life enough that I'd like to work on it if it fits to do
that.
RANDAL: It certainly does. Have you thrown things or
screamed or swerved, or is it that you felt close to hurting
somebody? Can you give an example?
RITA: The most recent example that had to do with driving
happened about a year and a half ago, and this was the most
extreme. My mother lives on a little cul-de-sac and I had received
an emergency call that she needed me to get there right away
because she wasn't feeling well. My mother is 85. When I got there
a woman was.sitting in a large car in the middle of the street talking
on her cell phone. She just stayed there and wouldn't move.
RANDAL: I'm getting angry about that. (laughter)
RITA: It's a very narrow one-way street and there was no way
around her. Somebody has to pull over and let the other person go
through. I honked politely and sort of signaled and she motioned
back, "Just a minute." So I pulled my bumper up to the front of her
car and started to move her car back.
RANDAL: Oh, wow!
RITA: Then she got upset and put her car in reverse and backed
up a little bit and started saying, "What's your problem?" And I'm
saying, "Well, I have to go there," so she backed up but she backed
up into my mother's driveway. So I signaled to her, "I'm going
there." By now she was furious because she thought I was making
it up or something so she wouldn't move. I got out of my car and I
pulled open her car door and at that point she said, "I'm going to
call the police," and I said, "I hope that you do."
RANDAL: You didn't say it that nicely did you?
Rita's Road Rage 227
RITA: Well, no. (laughing with the class) I said, "I can't wait
for them to get here."
RANDAL: Go on.
RITA: I feel very badly about this. I'm laughing about it now
but it's still a source of tremendous guilt. So then I let the car door
go and said, "Just get out of the way." Then she started to back up
into me and my car.
RANDAL: Boy, she was blowing it as much as you were.
RITA: I threw myself across her car and I took my key and
said, "You make one more move and I'm scraping this down
your beautiful paint and I really mean it, so please give me the
opportunity." So that's why... I can't remember what happened,
but I was shaking and so angry and upset that I had gone to this
level. Nothing about it was okay, but I was just so angry that I
wanted to destroy her. I was furious. She went her way and drove
up the street.
RANDAL: You didn't scrape her car?
RITA: I didn't scrape her car. She made some sort of threat and
it really frightened me so I got off her car and said, "Just get out of
here." She drove up the block and I went into my mother's house
to take her to the hospital, but the whole time I'm thinking that this
woman is going to come down and clobber my car or do something.
She knows exactly where I went. Anyway, the whole thing was just
very ugly. I was leaving on a special weekend for my anniversary
that night, and I spent the whole weekend feeling horrible that I'd
been so out of control. I felt like such a bad person. I was shaking
for most of the weekend. It was very hard. So that's the level my
anger will go to. Very physical. I have been attacked twice in my
life and in both cases I overwhelmed the male attackers.
RANDAL: Wow! So your anger has sometimes come in handy.
RITA: It has and I appreciate that, but in the car when someone
cuts me off or dangerously does something, I've been known
to chase them, which is nuts. I know that on a rational level but
physically and emotionally I will just go for it.
RANDAL: Well, thank you for your honesty. We all have our
stuff and at least you're getting it out, however inappropriately.
Some of us end up developing some disease as a result of holding
it in. Luckily, you apparently haven't gotten yourself into too much
trouble.
RITA: Well, actually that's not the case. After a series of tests
recently I was diagnosed with a very non-life threatening heart
disease. It's an arrhythmia brought on by adrenaline. It's very
interesting that a lot of what happens to me with the anger is a
tremendous surge of adrenaline.
RANDAL: So this is the opposite of what sometimes happens
with people who repress emotions and end up getting ulcers,
or whatever. In this case you are letting out this overwhelming
intensity which may be feeding on itself in a vicious cycle, and it
may have been hurting your body.
RITA: I think so.
RANDAL: This will be good to work on. You've given a very
good example from a year and a half ago. You said that was the last
one. Did you mean the last major one?
RITA: Yes, that was the time when my husband said, "You're
going to end up dead if you keep taking this response." And I
thought it was a good point.
RANDAL: You mentioned earlier that when your dad passed
away you really got angry. Did you have an over-all positive
relationship with your father?
RITA: No, I don't think so.
RANDAL: One thing you may have gotten from him to
some degree was your anger. Did you have a somewhat angry
relationship at times?
RITA: Absolutely. I would say that my father was a lot like me.
People who knew him outside of the family would never suspect
the level of anger he was capable of in private situations, but it was
very powerful. I know that often when someone dies the people
left may feel some anger. But this is different in that I was picking
fights with people. It was like I had so many emotions that I didn't
know what to do with, and somehow I chose anger as the way to
blow off all the emotion I was feeling.
RANDAL: How long ago did he die?
RITA: Let me think... 16or17 years ago.
RANDAL: That was quite awhile ago. Were you picking fights,
not at the funeral, but at work or with friends or at home?
RITA: Getting gas, stop signs ...
RANDAL: And this lasted for several weeks or so?
RITA: Yes, several weeks.
RANDAL: Anything else before we do the hypnosis?

RITA: I just want to say something. I'm a little frightened of
what this might reveal about me but I know that I need to come to
terms with it.
RANDAL: You're courageous to do this. I encourage you to
trust the situation and know that this will work out for you. We're
helping people that want to do it, to deal with their most difficult
issues. I'm fine with everything I've heard and I'm sure that I can
say for the class that we've all got our stuff to deal with. What
you've told us is not all negative. I'm glad that you've done some
good things for yourself with your anger as well. You're in a
very supportive environment. (Rita nods and moves into the
reclining chair that is brought up) Are you going to want a
blanket?
RITA: I'm pretty hot.
RANDAL: I'll put this pillow under your feet. Is that
comfortable?
RITA: Yes.
RANDAL: Look at these two fingers as I make little circles
here and follow them as they move toward your face. Continue
following them down until your eyelids close. (Randal leads Rita
through a series of rapid induction methods)
All right, continuing to go deeper into relaxation with every
sound that you hear and with every easy breath that you take. Rita,
you've been talking about your difficulty with your anger and I'm
going to ask your subconscious mind some ideomotor questions
about that. To start with, let's get in touch with which is your "yes"
finger and which is your "no" finger. Think the word "yes" in your
mind. See, think and hear the word "yes" until a certain finger
begins to lift and to rise. (Rita's right index finger moves) All right,
I'm tapping your finger. (tapping her finger) This is your "yes"
finger. Now I'd like you to think the word "no." There is a certain
finger that is your "no" finger. Think, hear and see the word "no"
until a certain finger begins to lift upwards. (Rita's right thumb
moves) Okay, it's the thumb of your right hand. Now we're going
to do a couple of practice questions. Is the color green a mixture
of yellow and blue? (Rita's index finger moves) The answer, of
course, is yes. Is red a mixture of purple and green? (Rita's thumb
moves) You've signaled no. Thank you.
This time I'm asking your subconscious mind a question

regarding the way your anger sometimes gets very strongly
triggered. Within the context of this session, is it safe and
appropriate for you to be open to any memories having to do with
getting angry? (Rita's index finger moves) The answer is yes. The
next question, is it safe and appropriate for you to be open to any
feelings that come up, whether they be angry or otherwise, having
to do with memories around anger? (Rita's thumb moves) The
answer to the question is no. Thank you.
What we need to do then, Rita, is to work in a way that will
help you to be detached in going through these experiences. You
can know that you're in good hands, including your own hands.
I will help you to be detached, to have some distance, so you can
go through whatever memories come up without experiencing the
associated feelings that were triggered at the time.
All right. I would like you to imagine that you have a grounding
cord going from the base of your spine straight down to the center
of the earth. That cord is helping you to ground and center. I
want to be very careful here to help you have this experience be
something that you can deal with calmly. Imagine a star of radiant
light shining down on you. The light can be white or golden or
some other color. Any negativity is draining out of your body
through the soles of your feet and down through your grounding
cord. Your body is being permeated by this healing light. It's a
light of protection. You're beginning to feel a glow from this light
around your body. You're feeling calm and peaceful.. That's good.
Inhaling down into your belly and exhaling any tension. Drifting
deeper and deeper into relaxation.
We' re going to help you, in a detached way, to explore a memory
as if it were being seen on a film. The memory is a significant one,
having to do with some issue of anger. Some memory from a long
time ago. It might have to do with someone else getting angry or
with you getting angry. Whatever the memory is, you're going to
see it as if you're observing a film of someone else. Imagine now
that I'm opening the door for you and you' re walking into a theater.
This theater has a special door behind the snack stand that goes
down to a room full of old reel-to-reel films. There are hundreds
or maybe thousands of old films on shelves down there. You're
going to take one film, or perhaps more than one. We may just
go to one memory or we may go to several, and these films have

these memories on them. You're taking these films and we're going
back up the steps. After you've reached the ground level you're
going up more steps to the projection booth. There is someone in
the projection booth who can load that film. It's an old film that
goes back a long way in your life.
As the film is being loaded you're going back to the theater to
take a seat and you're all alone there, except that I may be in the
background somewhere. You're centered and you're grounded.
The film is beginning to start. The film is a memory of an experience
that happened to someone; perhaps it was a young girl, perhaps it
was an older girl, perhaps she was a teenager. I don't know what
age she was, but this was an experience that had to do with intense
anger. You're going to watch this from a very calm place. (Randal
gets a tissue and wipes tears that are beginning to run down Rita's
face) I'll check here for a finger signal. Would you like to have some
more detachment? (Rita's right thumb moves) You've signaled no.
It's okay to cry and still stay fairly calm during this experience.
Go ahead and watch the film now. You can signal with your
fingers, yes or no, whether you've already started to get a particular
memory. (Rita signals with her index finger) The answer is yes.
Okay, stay with that memory but keep some detachment here.
You might feel some feelings, but just to the degree you would
feel in a movie about someone else. You're studying this for the
purpose of understanding it, for the purpose of really knowing
what happened. Look at it from beginning to end and then you can
signal with your "yes" finger. (Rita signals) All right, thank you.
I'm going to count from five down to one. At the count of one
you'll be able to say something about this incident that you're
watching but first I'll ask some questions, like about how old the
girl was and things like that. So here we go, getting ready to speak
now. Five, four, three, two and one. All right, Rita. Is the person that
you're looking at under 10 years-old? Yes or no. (Rita moves her
thumb) The answer is no. Is she under 20 years-old? (Rita's index
finger moves) The answer is yes. Is she under 15 years-old? (Rita's
thumb moves) The answer is no, so you're somewhere between
the ages of 15 and 20. When I tap you on the shoulder you'll be
able to say the age. (Randal taps her shoulder)
RITA: Sixteen.
RANDAL: Let's go with your finger signals again. Was this

something that happened outside of the home somewhere? (Rita's
thumb moves) No. Did it happen in the home? (Rita's index finger
moves) The answer is yes. So this 16 year-old girl was at home
when it happened. You'll be able to answer verbally when I touch
your shoulder. What room is she in when this happens? (touching
her shoulder)
RITA: The stairway.
RANDAL: Now finger signals. Was there at least one other
person there? (Rita's index finger moves) The answer is yes. Is
there more than one other person there?
RITA: I'm not sure.
RANDAL: (asking so as not to be leading about the father) Is
the other person your mother? (Rita's index finger moves) So we
know for sure that you are there and your mother is there.
RITA: Actually it's my father I'm certain of. The person that
might be there is my mother.
RANDAL: Thank you. Your father is there and your mother
might be there also. Is your father on the stairway or is he
somewhere else?
RITA: On the stairway.
RANDAL: So that's the scene. You're 16 years-old and you're
on the stairway with your father. What's going on?
RITA: I've gone out with some friends and we had a flat tire
on the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. I didn't get home until three in the
morning and when I came into the house it seemed like everyone
was asleep.
RANDAL: How are you feeling as you're coming into the
house?
RITA: I felt it was one of the best nights and the most fun I
ever had.
RANDAL: So in spite of the flat tire, up to that point you were
having a wonderful night.
RITA: It was wonderful.
RANDAL: Great.
RITA: I was worried that I hadn't.been able to call my parents.
It was so late that I decided not to call them. I was afraid to wake
them up so I came into the house and it seemed like everyone was
asleep. I was walking up the stairs to my bedroom.
RANDAL: As you were walking up to your bedroom were you

trying to be fairly quiet?
RITA: Oh yeah.
RANDAL: Trying not to wake anyone up.
RITA: I wasn't sneaking, though. I just believed everyone was
asleep. My father came to the top of the stairs and I was about three
stairs from the top. He was very angry. (Rita's voice is beginning
to crack)
RANDAL: What happens now?
RITA: He asked me where I'd been and I told him what
happened. He accused me of something. I don't remember what
but I remember saying, "I just didn't want to wake you up." And
I explained about the flat tire and how we were all together and
nothing bad had happened. The next thing I remember is being at
the bottom of the stairs.
RANDAL: How did you get down there?
RITA: (voice starting to shake) He hit me.
RANDAL: He hit you and he knocked you all the way down to
the bottom of the stairs?
RITA: I woke up at the bottom.
RANDAL: You woke up at what seemed to be a few seconds
later or was there a longer period of time?
RITA: Probably not more than a minute.
RANDAL: I can help you to be calm as you continue. Do you
need to watch this more like you're watching it from a screen or are
you doing okay as you're doing now?
RITA: I'm okay.
RANDAL: So there you are at the bottom of the stairs. What
happens next?
RITA: I don't remember.
RANDAL: You don't remember if you say anything or if he
says anything or you just get up and go to bed after that?
RITA: I remember standing up and being so angry. (tears are
rolling down Rita's face) So angry. I... that's all I remember.
RANDAL: There are a number of ways we can work with
this now, Rita. I asked a very general question before for your
subconscious mind, about whether it was okay to be in touch
with your feelings regarding any memory and you signaled no.
That may very well be the way we're going to go from here but I
want to check on that. This was an extremely intense experience

for you and strong emotions came up. It may be best to continue
to help you to maintain some distance from your emotions. You
now know what the specific memory is. Your subconscious mind
is aware of what we're dealing with. We're going to work on this
experience. There are some very good things we can do while I
continue to encourage you to maintain some detachment. That's
what I'm checking out with you here.
This is for your finger signals. Would it be best for you to
continue maintaining some distance from your emotions while we
continue with this process? (Rita's thumb moves) The answer to
the question is no. Would it be best for you to be open to being in
touch with your emotions, wherever that might lead you? (Rita's
index finger moves) The answer is yes.
All right, that gives us more choices to work with. I only want
to do what is appropriate for you. We'll do a dialogue similar to
Gestalt now, and I would like you to know that you can be protected
from your father. The situation is that you've been knocked to the
bottom of the stairs. You're very angry. You're there with your
father and you now have protection from him, however you want
to imagine that. There can be an invisible force field or whatever.
He can't touch you again. You are safe from him but you can tell
him whatever you want to tell him.
RITA: You have no right to hurt me.
RANDAL: Without becoming him I'd like you to hear
what he has to say in response. (during this age regression
in hypnosis with such a violent father, Randal is not having
her be the father, which is modified from the role playing of
traditional Gestalt)
RITA: He says he was terrified that something bad happened,
that I'd been killed or hurt. He was just so upset.
RANDAL: He was upset because he was so terrified. Now
respond to him.
RITA: That's not all he was worried about.
RANDAL: Say that to him as if he' s here now. "That's not all
you were worried about."
RITA: That's not all you were worried about. Admit it.
RANDAL: Do you want to elaborate or do you think he knows
what you mean?
RITA: I'll elaborate. You don't trust me. You think that I'm a
bad kid and that I get into trouble or do bad things. It's not true.
I'm the best behaved person. I always tell the truth to you. I never
lie. I don't do anything bad. I'm so goody-two shoes that everyone
laughs at me. I don't deserve this distrust.
RANDAL: Good for you. What does your father say in response?
RITA: He says that he knows there is something evil about me.
(sobbing quietly) That I have an evil streak.
RANDAL: Your response?
RITA: It's not true. You're wrong.
RANDAL: Do you want to say anything more?
RITA: I want to say that you should respect me.
RANDAL: Good.
RITA: I deserve respect. (crying)
RANDAL: Good.
RITA: I'm smart and I'm kind and I'm honest and you should
respect me and treat me well. (sobbing)
RANDAL: Good for you, Rita. Yes, you are all of those things
and you deserve respect. (Rita is sobbing loudly) It's okay to cry.
It's good to cry. You deserve that respect. (Rita is taking big gulps
of air) Okay, breath down into your stomach and keep letting the
sounds out as you exhale. (Rita continues to sob loudly) It's good
to cry. What does your father say in response?
RITA: He turns away. He goes into his bedroom and he doesn't
say anything.
RANDAL: Get in touch with your body now. Breathe down
into your stomach. What do you feel?
RITA: A wave of emotion. Wave after wave. It's like I'm daring
him to ever hurt me again. It feels clenched inside.
RANDAL: Here's your father now. (Randal is holding a large
pillow in front of Rita and places her hands on it) Clench him and
say whatever you want to say to him.
RITA: (clenching the pillow tightly with both hands) Stop it.
Don't do this. I dare you to do this to me again but I will riot be
responsible for what I'll do to you back.
RANDAL: Threaten him now. Tell him what you're going to
do to him.
RITA: I'll hurt you in any way I can. I'll punch you! I'll kick
you! I'll do anything I have to do.
RANDAL: You're telling him how you feel. That's good. (Rita
sobs) What does your father say?
RITA: (sobbing loudly and choking the words out) He keeps
changing. He's angry and then he's sad. He just keeps changing.
He doesn't stay the same.
RANDAL: What else do you want to tell him? You can repeat
something you've said or tell him something new. You've got him
now. You're grabbing him and you're bigger and more powerful
than him and you don't like how he's been treating you.
RITA: (sobbing for over a minute before continuing) I don't
want you to be this way. I just want you to not hurt me. (sobbing
loudly) I want to love you but you keep hurting me.
RANDAL: Does he say something in response?
RITA: (still sobbing loudly) He says ... that he's weak.
RANDAL: He is weak. Be aware that you're stronger than him.
You're more powerful.
RITA: (sobbing) He's my dad ... I don't want to be more
powerful. I want him to take care of me.
RANDAL: Tell him that. "I want you to be powerful but in a
good way. I want you to take care of me."
RITA: (sobbing in big gulps) I want you to take care of me ...
and care for me ... and see me for who I really am. I don't want to
have to be the strong one in the family.
RANDAL: How does he respond?
RITA: He's just confused. He's really confused. He feels so
sad. He can't say anything. He' s dissolving with failure.
RANDAL: Okay, let him do that.
RITA: (sobbing and pushing the pillow away) I don't want
him near me.
RANDAL: Go inside. What do you feel? (still sobbing and
making noises) It's good to cry.
RITA: I feel shaky and cold.
RANDAL: Okay, shake. I'll get you a blanket. (Randal puts a
blanket over Rita who is breathing very heavily) Stay in touch with
your body, breathing down into your stomach. What do you feel in
your body right now?
RITA: I... feel shaky and I feel kind of beat up inside.
RANDAL: Okay. I'll take the blanket away now. The golden
rule in Gestalt is to do unto others as you do unto yourself. Go
ahead and beat up your father. Hit him now.
RITA: I can't do it.

RANDAL: Then say, "I won't do it."
RITA: I won't do it.
RANDAL: Okay, push him away then. (Randal holds a large
pillow in front of Rita and she pushes it away vigorously) Good.
He's coming back at you. (Randal pushes the pillow at Rita and
she pushes it vigorously away again) There we go! Good! Go into
your body and stay with your feelings. That's where your power
is. This is a safe place for you to be in touch with whatever comes
up. What do you feel?
RITA: (in a clear, strong voice) I feel powerful.
RANDAL: Good, you've gotten more powerful to get this out.
Instead of beating yourself up you beat him up in a way that was
safe and didn't really hurt him. You symbolically got your feelings
out. Where or how do you feel powerful?
RITA: It's as though everything dropped down to a focus and
when I'm not focused I can't be clear. I just play dead. I do what I
have to do.
RANDAL: So right now feel your power. I'm noticing that
you' re shaking again and there can be different reasons for shaking.
How do you feel?
RITA: I feel cold.
RANDAL: I'll get you a blanket again. (Randal covers Rita
with a blanket)
RITA: I'm still cold.
RANDAL: Okay, I'll get you another blanket. You're so
powerful, see how you have this servant at your beck and call?
(laughter) There we go. (Randal covers her with another blanket)
Weren't you feeling hot a little while ago?
RITA: Yes.
RANDAL: Do you feel better now? (Rita nods) Okay, get in
touch with your body. (Rita takes a big breath) That's right. What
do you feel in your body right now?
RITA: I feel like I want something.
RANDAL: What is it that you want?
RITA: I want to be touched kindly.
RANDAL: May I touch you on your shoulder kindly?
RITA: Yes.
RANDAL: Good. (Randal places his hand on her shoulder)
Can I touch you on your other shoulder kindly as well? (Rita nods
and Randal moves behind her with his hands on her shoulders
and Rita sobs quietly) I'm just going to rub your shoulders a little
bit and let you know that you deserve to be touched kindly. (Rita
continues to sob quietly as Randal rubs her shoulders) In fact, if
you're going to be touched you deserve to only be touched kindly,
in a way you would want. Whatever happened to you before you
didn't deserve. You don't have to have that kind of experience ever
again. You deserve better than that and this time you were able to
do something that you weren't able to do before. You were able to
stand up for yourself and take charge. Now it's time for you to just
relax and get in touch with your softness, your vulnerability, and
to know that you deserve only to be touched with kindness. You
are a good person. I'm talking to the 16 year-old, a good young
lady, a good girl. You deserve to be touched kindly and only kindly
and appropriately. (Rita takes a deep breath) That's right, breathing
deeply into your belly. What are you feeling inside right now?
RITA: (looking very peaceful) I feel like the sky with soft
clouds.
RANDAL: That's very good. You can continue to feel like the
sky with soft clouds. Let's have your adult self or your higher self
look at this experience of what happened with the 16 year-old girl
and her father and the further understanding you now have from
the dialogue that just occurred. Analyze how this experience has
been affecting Rita until now. We want to see if she developed any
misconceptions as a result of having been mistrusted and treated
so badly. When you're ready to talk about it you can signal with
your "yes" finger. (after a moment Rita's index finger moves) What
would you like to say?
RITA: When I feel threatened on the road, or in any way, I get
angry because it feels like my only choice. It feels like that's how
I'm powerful.
RANDAL: Can you see how that developed for you in that
kind of environment? How that affected your decision that anger
seemed to be your only choice?
RITA: Yes.
RANDAL: You can see things crystal clear now, Rita. You can
see the unfair mistrust your father had of you and the way he
projected things that he was absolutely wrong about. You were a
good girl, a good young woman, and he didn't understand that.
Take a look at this decision you made in your subconscious mind

a long time ago, that the only way to be powerful was to be angry.
Get a sense of whether that is true. Does that fit for you today?
RITA: I feel powerful at other times, too.
RANDAL: How else can you feel powerful?
RITA: When I sing.
RANDAL: Well, if someone cuts you off in traffic maybe you
could sing something.
RITA: (laughing) I'll have to learn how to shatter
windshields.
RANDAL: (laughing along with the group) That could be a
creative idea. Really project your voice out there. Good, so singing
is a way of being powerful. What else is a way of being powerful?
RITA: When I work in healing circles, just getting out of the
way and supporting someone's highest good. Just letting that
happen.
RANDAL: Be aware of your power when you can get out of
the way and support someone's highest good. Do you want to give
another example?
RITA: When I teach and in my therapy sessions. Trusting
that knowing that comes up and just going with it. Not leading a
person, but following that knowing path that becomes so clear.
RANDAL: You' re talking about ways to be very powerful when
you're teaching and with your hypnotherapy sessions. I know that
healing path, that knowing, from being of service in a session. You
can have that both in your teaching and in your sessions. You're
tapping into your higher self, your higher awareness. You're
tapping into spiritual truths and ways of being in which you can be
very powerful and very nurturing. These are excellent examples.
Do you feel you can be powerful in humor sometimes?
RITA: Maybe.
RANDAL: I liked your comment about shattering windshields
with your singing. (Rita laughs) There are many ways that you can
be powerful. Now that you have purged yourself of the trauma of
that past experience and its associations, you can open yourself
up to many constructive ways of dealing with things. What
would your higher self like to tell you, Rita, about encouraging
you to be in touch with your full powerful potential to be good to
yourself and to your body and to your heart? I'd like your higher
self to give you some insight about one of those situations when
something happened that might have bothered you so much in
the past. You can imagine Rita driving along, you're Rita's higher
self, and things are going just great. Then someone is about to cut
in front of her. What would you like to say to Rita about how she
could handle that situation?
RITA: You have a choice. One of the most powerful is to just
step aside.
RANDAL: That's true. Can you imagine yourself being far
more powerful than that person is at the time they're doing that
act? (Rita's index finger moves) Good. You have far more important
things to do in the world than to pay any more attention than you
need to, to avoid such a person. You can tap on your brakes or get
over to the other lane or move away from them if they' re actually
driving dangerously rather than just rudely. You've got your whole
purpose in life, which is far beyond dealing with such mundane,
trivial things as that.
I see a little bit of a smile there. Is it funny to think of such a thing
as trivial? It could be. I remember driving with Charles Tebbetts in
Washington a few years before he died. He was probably about
80 then, and he didn't always drive up to the speed limit. He said
that sometimes a driver got really mad at him for driving slow and
would shake his fist at him or shout or ho~. He would respond
by just smiling and waving. Sometimes that really got to them
(laughter), and occasionally it would lighten them up.
There are a lot of ways to be powerful, to make a strong
statement. You know that for you to be more powerful means for
you to do things that are in line with who you are spiritually, in
line with your higher self and your highest well-being.
You're a good-hearted person and you take care of that good
heart of yours. You're lucky to have found out early, as you have,
about the sensitivity in that area so you can have the clarity of
purpose and the motivation to do something about that. You have
already been doing a lot. You have everything within you now to
help you develop surprisingly easy new habits, healthy habits,
to deal with each situation in your life with cool and positive
assurance.
You have great spirituality and a lot of wisdom. You have a
wonderful subconscious mind. Even as a 16 year-old you were
very clear that you weren't being treated properly. You knew that
you were a good, kind person, a trustworthy person who deserved
so much more than you were sometimes getting. Now as an adult,
having your own life, having surrounded yourself with good
people, having made wonderful connections, you can create many
positive experiences in your life, and the vast majority of the time
things will go just fine.
Now that you're continuing to clarify things for your
subconscious mind you can feel a growing sense of peace within
you that helps you to handle each situation as it comes. Just
knowing deep inside that there are various solutions, various
options, helps you to lighten up and to calm down. You made
a decision years ago that was a reasonable decision for you to
make under the circumstances, that the way to be powerful was
to be angry. You recognize now that you have many ways to be
powerful. Ways that are more powerful, in most cases, than being
angry, especially because of the effect that anger has had on you.
There are times for all of us when we may be legitimately angry.
And just communicating your appropriate truth can be a good
way to express anger if that's necessary. But you'll find that the
majority of the time there are solutions that transcend anger. I'd
like to check in. Is there anything you'd like to say about what
I've been saying? Do you agree or is there anything you'd like to
elaborate on or change?
RITA: I agree with what you've been saying and I feel like I'm
making really important progress for my life and for my body and
for my soul.
RANDAL: Yes, you're making very important progress. There
is a healing that has already taken place and further healing is
continuing for you. If someone does something inappropriate in
traffic you can just brush that off. There are far more important
things to pay attention to. You make sure you're safe and have
enough distance from that person. One of the ways to be truly
powerful is to get in touch with that center of power and wisdom
within you that knows what to do and how to do it. That part of
you deep down inside is wise and powerful.
In fact, you are even beginning to recognize that those rare
difficulties that come up can actually be opportunities for you now
to get into new habits of not reacting but calming down, being at
peace, transforming energy. You can consider yourself doing any

number of things in traffic, including singing. (singing) You can
sing. (laughter) You can test out your power to break glass with
your singing. (more laughter) So whether you bring in humor or
not, you can have a good time. There are a lot of ways to have a
good time and be powerful. Is there anything further you would
like to say or ask me about before I bring you out of hypnosis?
(Rita's thumb moves) Okay. You look very blissful and peaceful.
How are you feeling?
RITA: I'm hot! (laughter)
RANDAL: Look how powerful you are, creating all that heat.
(removing the blankets) You're doing a fabulous job, really and
truly. (to the class) Would anyone like to say something to Rita
before I bring her out of hypnosis?
KAREN: Rita, I really admire your courage to look at your
early experiences.
JIM: I would like to suggest that in the weeks ahead you will
be receiving all the highly positive mirroring that you deserved as
a 16 year-old.
RANDAL: That's very good. Thank you, Jim.
CINDY: I'm sending you a big hug and lots of love.
RANDAL: And you'll get a chance, if you want, to hug her
physically in a little while. Thank you all. (to Rita) I know there
are a lot of good, loving feelings from everyone here for you. I
would like to add a few more things before I bring you out of
hypnosis. My heart goes out to you for what you had to experience
in childhood. I think you handled things as well as you could. Your
subconscious mind has learned a great deal in helping to transcend
those experiences now. I want to acknowledge you because there
were actually some important ways that your anger helped you
tremendously. It's interesting that the feelings that are associated
with anger can also be redirected and raised to a higher octave.
Sometimes, for example, some feeling associated with anger
could lead to doing something to make a positive difference, like
speaking out about something in a responsible manner.
You have so many solutions to dealing with things, so many
other options that can come up for you, including positive feelings
of joy, humor, creativity, and truly letting go. When your body starts
to become agitated you can quickly let it subside. You deserve that.
Your body deserves to have a lot of healing and TLC. You have a
wonderful heart, Rita, and I encourage you to be especially loving
with yourself. Here is a pillow (handing Rita a different pillow),
which for the moment can be your inner child. You don't have
to say anything at first. Just hold her and love her. (pause) She
deserves a lot of love. She didn't always get that love a long time
ago but she can get it now. (Rita giggles) Is there anything you
would like to say to her?
RITA: I want to say that I'm doing everything I can to be good to her.
RANDAL: Say that to her.
RITA: I'm doing everything I can to be good to you.
RANDAL: Good. Now switch and be the inner child, young
Rita, and take that in. How does that feel? (Rita is smiling) It feels
good doesn't it? Be aware of the tremendous amount of love there
for you because you're a wonderful girl. Rita is very proud of you.
I'm talking to young child Rita now. There are some major things
corning your way. You're a good-hearted girl and you've got a
real good-hearted mommy here who is taking good care of you.
Adult Rita, you can find many ways in which you can allow your
inner child to come out and play and have fun and be creative.
You can enjoy being adult Rita, and tuning in to the needs of child
Rita. There is a balance there. You can focus on your work and be
responsible and at other times you can be playful, allowing that
joy of your inner child self.
I'm going to count now from one to five and with each number
that I count you become more and more alert, awake and aware.
Number one, gently, calmly and easily begin returning to your full
conscious awareness. Number two, more and more alert, awake
and aware with each number that I count. Number three, feeling
yourself resting comfortably. Taking all of these things with you as
you continue to give love and healing to yourself in the days and
weeks ahead. Number four, getting ready to open your eyes. On
the next number you open your eyes feeling fully alert, awake and
refreshed. Welcome back, number five. (Rita giggles and opens her
eyes, wiping tears away)
RITA: Thank you very much. (Randal and Rita hug)
RANDAL: You're welcome. You did a great job.
RITA: (looking out at the audience) Thank you, everybody.
(applause while Rita sobs quietly)
RANDAL: How are you feeling?

RITA: (laughing) It was a long journey!
RANDAL: From hot to cold to hot again.
RITA: (looking at the group) I really want to say that I don't
think I could have done this without each of you, and I really mean
it. Thank you for being here. (to Randal) And thank you.
RANDAL: You would have done a fabulous job in a private
session too, but a whole different dimension is added with a
loving, supportive group. (to the class) I'm aware of the support
that you can feel in the room and that's an acknowledgment of all
of you. We'll take a break and then I'll make more comments and
take some questions.
RANDAL: (after the break) Rita did an excellent job in this

session with a very emotionally charged issue. Initially, one logical
direction could have been to use the affect bridge to tap her into
her feeling of anger and then go back to an earlier major event,
followed by Gestalt work. But this was contraindicated by the
subconscious communication of her finger signals, that some
feelings would be better to avoid during the regression.
Rather than pursue further ideomotor questioning to get more
specific at that point, the direction I chose was to help Rita to be
detached in various ways, including the theater image. Throughout
much of this session I was encouraging her to be detached by
talking about the girl in third person, and yet certain emotions
were coming up. Sometimes, in spite of the detachment methods
used, when working through an issue the person begins to feel
similar emotions to what they would feel if they were watching a
movie, but without a full blown abreaction.
When Rita related that she was at the bottom of the stairs
and that her father had hit her, I had to decide where to go from
there. Sometimes the subconscious mind doesn't want to go just
anywhere with the emotions but it will focus on a particular
scene or memory. It was reasonable to bring the question back
again to her subconscious mind. "This is the situation now and
what is appropriate here?" I was just checking things out to see
which direction was possible for us from there and I structured the
question in such a way that it was perfectly fine not to be in touch
with her emotions. Rita then signaled that it was appropriate to
be open to her emotions now and that helped me to go in a logical

and valuable direction, which was a modified Gestalt dialogue
between her and her father.
Even when Rita signaled that it was fine to feel her emotions,
that didn't mean we were trying to get her to have a big catharsis. It
just meant that we could open things up and encourage whatever
wanted to come up to do so. If the signal had been no at that point
I still could have worked at helping her to realize misconceptions
that had developed and how she had been living her life that way
until now. We could have used hypnoanalysis and reeducation
of the subconscious mind and perhaps moved on to doing some
work with the inner child and perhaps an inner ideal parent. Even
though I didn't do things in that exact way, we did work in various
stages, including with her parent-child. (to Rita) Do you want to
say something about your experience?
RITA: I thought I might address how it felt from the inside
when you asked me those questions because it was very surprising
to me that my subconscious didn't want me to feel the feelings.
Inside I went, huh? Then it was very interesting because there
was a moment when I thought, I'm just going to lie. I want to go
through these feelings! Then I thought, wait a minute. If you're
going to do this with clients you have to respect it within yourself.
So there was an argument going on inside. Finally the "no" finger
went up and I said okay, so be it if that's what my subconscious
really wants.
It became very clear, especially when you re-asked the
question, that I felt that the nature of what I was dealing with was
an emotion that overwhelms me and that's why my subconscious
had said no the first time. You said it perfectly as you phrased the
question, that you had asked very generally and now you were
asking specifically. It was a very different response of okay,
now we know what we're dealing with and I'm willing to go
there.
RANDAL: Not only willing, but your finger signal was that it
was the best thing to be open to your emotions in going there.
RITA: I think also that was based on being at a deeper level in
the hypnotherapy process. I felt supported. "Everything is okay.
This is familiar territory. I feel safe." That was why asking the
question then was okay. It was great that you asked me.
RANDAL: I appreciate your feeling that the structure of it was

good because it wasn't at all meant to be taken as trying to change
your mind. Anger was something you got in touch with here but in
a very specific and focused way. I think that you said it best. Does
anyone have questions for either Rita or myself?
GOU: (to Rita) If you had gone to a therapist do you think you
might have been afraid to deal with your emotions, not knowing
where they were going to come from? Did knowing that you were
in a safe environment have a lot to do with knowing Randal?
RITA: Yes, I think it does have to do with having witnessed
Randal working with other people. To even get up here was based
on past experience of watching Randal work. Two things come up
for me with your question. First, part of it was the safety I felt as we
went into the process. But then it hit a different place at some point
where it was the actual safety of the moment that allowed me to go
into those specific feelings that were so scary to me. So it's a little
bit of both. I think if I had been working with a hypnotherapist for
the first time, I would probably not make this the first thing I chose
to work on. I believe that my internal protections would really test
the person out on other things and build some trust before I would
go to this. And remember, we're in Level Four. (laughter) It took
me this long.
RANDAL: Just think of someone dealing with her scariest
issue and doing that in front of a group. That takes a lot of courage
even when you feel a sense of trust. Such considerations can easily
trigger the fear of what Perls called catastrophic expectation. This
would be challenging under any circumstances.
RITA: I was going to say one other thing that was interesting
to me. I had absolutely no pre-meditation to raise my hand. I was
shocked when my hand went up. (raising her arm in demonstration
and pulling it down) Oh my God! (laughter)
DENNIS: Randal, could you elaborate more on where you
could have gone if Rita had said no the second time, that she didn't
want to feel those feelings?
RANDAL: As I said earlier, she had been hit and was at the
bottom of the stairs. If she had said no again I could have said, "I'm
glad your subconscious mind is helping to protect you from this
experience." There is no exact thing or particular order it would
have to go but an example would have been to have her come to
the present and look back at the experience as a detached memory.

We might possibly go right into analyzing how that experience
she'd had as a girl affected her at that point in her life. We did do
that later, but after having done a lot more. Then I could have gone
on from there into positive suggestions.and inner child work.
Another example would be to have her get detachment and
then imagine changing it in some way to reframe the experience.
For example, I might have had her imagine that she is now watching
that girl in the film becoming much bigger and the father becoming
much smaller. Then she could imagine being able to calmly deal
with him, perhaps seeing the father as a little boy. I would have to
be careful, if I had gotten that signal, not to have her feel emotions
because I'm not trying to create a Gestalt dialogue back and forth,
which tends to bring up the emotions. I would take care to help her
be detached and focus on realizations with that. In that scenario I
would also go on to deal with misconceptions, reeducation of the
subconscious mind, affirmations, and post-hypnotic suggestions
for success.
BARBARA: I learned a lot in this. You used the pillow in four
things. Even when you wanted her to beat up on her father, it
showed that her love for her father was greater than any anger.
You re-directed that in bringing her to help herself. That was very
meaningful. It was used for the inner child as well.
RANDAL: Yes, although I used a different pillow for the inner
child with that. The pillow is used in a lot of ways. I asked her to
beat him up as a way to externalize her feeling of being beaten
up inside. She didn't want to beat him but I wanted her to do
something with that energy and it evolved into pushing him away.
With all of the energy that was there I figured she was going to
be hitting him and I didn't think one big pillow was going to be
enough. I needed two, and I was really bracing myself. (laughter)
She was powerful in pushing it away, too. I got knocked off my feet
pretty well with that. (patting Rita on the shoulder)
IRMA: Rita, was that memory something you remembered
before or did it just come up?
RITA: This is a very present memory for me. It's very much
been with me since it happened.
RANDAL: It's not a recovered memory, it's something that
certainly was not forgotten by the conscious mind.
RITA: No.
IRMA: When Rita said she didn't want to get in touch with her
feelings and you did the theater thing, you started talking to her in
the third person. Then I may be wrong but I think you switched to
talking to her directly.
RANDAL: I caught myself doing that. I think you can have
partial detachment within the first person but normally you would
stay in the third person
IRMA: I thought you might be going with your intuition.
RANDAL: If at least some degree of detachment had been
signaled, this would not be something I would usually intentionally
do. But I sometimes do use my intuition in making a transition in
some way or other, and I think that is partly what occurred here.
In fact, some emotions were starting to come up, and I checked
and she said that was fine. But if I was doing it exactly like my
original intention, it would be to stay in the third person with that.
A lot also depends on who I'm working with. If Rita had been a
more fragile personality, I would have been much more focused on
keeping her detached.
RITA: I want to say that I didn't notice.
RANDAL: I think it's significant that you didn't notice.
CINDY: Have you ever worked on that memory in some way
or other?
RITA: I have worked with anger before but I've never actually
worked with that scene. I've tried to deal with anger and pictured
myself in the car doing something different, but never like this.
The last thing I want to say is that so many of you came up to
me afterwards and I really appreciate that. One of the things that
came out of that is that a lot of people felt they knew what I was
feeling and had their own experiences. For whatever happened
that was positive for me, I really hope we can all be healed to some
degree. Thank you very much.
RANDAL: (in unison with the group) Thank you. (applause)

RANDAL: It's great to see you. You're looking wonderful.
RITA: Thank you.
RANDAL: It's been a week since the terrific session you did.
Are there any further insights that have come up over the last
week or any further awareness or feelings that you can share

with us?
RITA: In general I feel that there is more flexibility around me.
It's an overall feeling of spaciousness and less need to control in
some ways. I feel less that I have to control other people, I think
my husband would say (laughing), gratefully! It's interesting that
I don't feel attached in the same emotional way that I did to certain
things, like when I'm driving, for instance. But I still have the habit
of being irritated or making a comment like, "Nice going!" .
RANDAL: You find yourself with certain knee-jerk reactions.
RITA: Yes, it's like, oh! But the emotional content, that sort of
intensity of feeling that wells up, is not there. It's really interesting
to feel those reactions. It's almost like hearing someone else say it.
RANDAL: Such detachment is a giant leap. You really cut the
cord between yourself and the emotional reaction to the initial
sensitizing event. Not just the big one we went to when you
were 16 years-old but the general pattern between you and your
father. That's a great description of the distance that you've begun
to create. And when those automatic responses happen you can
continue to nurture the part of you that can lighten up and calm
down. You can reinforce all of those positive things that will be so
good for you and for your health. Those reactions that come up
are not who you are and they continue to fade out in time as you
nurture and support yourself. There are certain aspects that will
automatically fade anyway and you continue to accentuate and
accelerate that process by not dwelling on the negative, but just
recognizing it and letting go.
RITA: I also found myself explaining to my husband last night
that I've been really generous with other drivers just to see what it's
like to not be so geared into feeling like it's some form of disrespect
if I'm cut off or something. I'm saying, "Oh, I can be generous with
this. (motioning with her hands to an imaginary driver) It's okay,
go ahead." And people seem to say, "Oh, thanks!" (laughter)
RANDAL: I'd say that's a spectacular improvement!
RITA: It's so funny because people are just like, "Oh, somebody
is letting me go," and it feels great.
RANDAL: And considering your peace of mind and your
physical health, how much more you can enjoy it if you're out
driving for, say, half an hour or so and being relaxed and allowing
people in. I like the word you used, generous. You probably
don't save more than a minute or two if you're trying to rush and
that's nothing. Your whole experience of driving is going to be
transformed so it will be an enjoyable part of your life.
RITA: That's great!
RANDAL: It's transforming already. This is fabulous. Do you
have any other thoughts or insights that you want to share?
RITA: One other thing is that I realize it would be so much
easier in my life to just leave more time to do things. To make a
commitment to do that so if I have to get out of someone's way,
it's not this big crisis like, "Oh, I'm not going to make it to the toll
bridge at the time I'm supposed to." It just feels illogical now to
plan things so tightly. I don't remember you saying anything about
this, but I felt this intense sense of making a commitment to leave
more space that I think I need in lots of ways.
RANDAL: I don't recall having said anything directly about
that but I do know that you're in touch with your intuition and
you're in touch with your subconscious. I gave you suggestions
along the lines of continuing to find other insights and ways to
handle situations. Hopefully the suggestions helped that process
to accelerate and increase the efficiency of your improvement in
lifestyle. That fits perfectly for you.
(to the group) By the way, one of the posthypnotic suggestions
that I gave Rita several times toward the end was what a good-
hearted person she is, acknowledging her kindness and so forth.
How many of you were aware of the added meaning? (most in
class raise their hands) Remember the diagnosis of heart disease
brought on by adrenaline, and so continuing to encourage her to
be a good-hearted person had multiple meanings.
RITA: (laughing) I got that!
RANDAL: I figured you wouldn't miss that one. You know
how important that is.
MARY: Rita mentioned being generous on the road and so I'm
going back to when Randal mentioned being good-hearted. Well,
there it is!
RITA: That's right. Being generous on the road is an example
of being good-hearted.
MARY: So it did take on multiple meanings for your body and
your mind. When I heard you say that I remembered what Randal
had said and I thought, well! Very generous on the road, that's
amazing.
RANDAL: This is spectacular change. Even after a thorough
session like this, if it was in private practice, I would often
continue with a few follow-up sessions for further subconscious
integration
(to Rita) If you were a client of mine and in for a private session
right now I would be giving you posthypnotic suggestions such as,
"Congratulations, you're continuing to find that these new patterns
are becoming more and more a part of you. You're enjoying your
generosity on the road and enjoying a whole new way of having
more time in your life and being more generous and good-hearted
with yourself," and so on. I encourage you to give yourself positive
suggestions for further anchoring in self-hypnosis regularly over
the next few months. (she smiles and nods) Does anyone else have
a question?
SUSAN: I just want to ask you, Rita, when you did the
experiment on the road with generosity did you have any somatic
response to that? Were you aware of any feelings in your body as
opposed to the opposite way that you were doing it before when
you felt the adrenaline rush?
RITA: It's funny, .b ut I hadn't thought about that. Now that
you've asked, it's been more like I break out in a smile because I
don't have that feeling. It's a feeling of spaciousness. I'm waiting
for that old feeling to come but it doesn't and I go, oh! (smiling and
throwing her hands up)
RANDAL: Is that just a little bit different than the way she
was acting before? (laughter) Compare that to her dramatic
confrontation with that woman. What a night and day difference.
Congratulations.
SUSAN: It sounds like you get such enjoyment out of smiling.
RITA: Yes, but I'll realize that I'm smiling, and I'll suddenly
think, why am I smiling? And then, oh! I don't feel bad. I don't feel
like an evil person!
RANDAL: As a dear friend of mine says, "Life is good and
sometimes it's even better!"
RITA: Yes!
JIM: It's like a sub-personality was doing your driving and
was angry and at war with your dad's sub-personality, or was
outraged at the injustice of that relationship. Now you're in the

driver's seat and you can be your true self, which is a generous,
warm, helpful person. If someone wants to go you can let them go
in front of you.
RANDAL: Thank you.
CHAPTER 14
Jill's Writing Block

The Private Journal Read by Her
Police Chief Father
RANDAL: We're going to do a regression demonstration, and

I'll remind you this kind of work can become very personal. Do
we have a volunteer? (Jill raises her hand) Come on up, Jill from
Georgia.
JILL: (laughing) I feel scared.
RANDAL: That's the first time I've heard someone say that.
(laughter) I'm teasing of course. It's a normal response. I'm sure
you want to work on something that is an important and personal
issue and this is an opportunity to do that.
JILL: The issue is writing and confidence. The two are linked
and it goes back to being a kid and having my dad find my journal
and cutting my voice off.
RANDAL: How old were you when you're father did that?
JILL: I was about 12.
RANDAL: That's too bad. I bet your journal included personal
issues that were none of his business.
JILL: And that had to do with him. It was a place for me to vent.
RANDAL: Yes, writing in a journal can be a way to vent and
get things out of your system. I consider reading someone's private
journal to be a real invasion. However young a child is, we all need
to have our private place. Did you inadvertently leave it out or did
he search and find it?
JILL: It was search and seizure. He was chief of police.

(laughter)
RANDAL: He forgot to put his badge away when he got home.
How was it for you when that happened?
JILL: Well, I was late getting back from visiting with some
friends. I guess I must have been 13 because I was a freshman.
He was really mad and he started ... railing on me. My mom was
standing on the stairs and he was there with my journal in his
hands. I just sort of went stiff. It's an issue now because I write a
weekly column and it brings up that anxiety. Can I do this? Am
I going to be cut off? I seek male approval. There is a real issue
around expressing myself through writing and being ridiculed
and shamed for what my thoughts are as a result.
RANDAL: When you talk about writing a weekly column, is
that full-time work or a peripheral part of your job or more of an
avocation or hobby?
JILL: It's something that I'd like to do full-time. I'm a freelance
writer half-time right now and I'm a half-time hypnotherapist.
RANDAL: Obviously you have a passion for writing in spite of
the trauma of that experience.
JILL: Yes.
RANDAL: Do you feel that you're holding yourself back? I
know you love doing hypnotherapy too, but if you can really let
go of this experience do you feel that you would get more into
your writing?
JILL: Yes. I've got several manuscripts just waiting to be done.
RANDAL: Are you partly through some of them?
JILL: I'm partly through all of them. (laughs) And then I...
(gestures with her hand across her throat)
RANDAL: Are they fiction or non-fiction?
JILL: One is fiction and one is a script.
RANDAL: When you start to do something like that... (moving
his hand as she did)
JILL: Cut it off.
RANDAL: What does that cutting off mean to you? Cutting off
your feelings, cutting off your thoughts?
JILL: Quit talking. Quit sharing. Decapitation.
RANDAL: That's a good symbol for that. So even at the young
age of 13 you were drawn to writing.
Jill's Writing Block 255
JILL: Yes.
RANDAL: Were you already starting to take some creative
writing classes at that age?
JILL: Mostly writing was survival to me then. It was a safe
place to go. It still is.
RANDAL: In spite of that experience.
JILL: But with a bit of trepidation. It's like I want to come out of
the closet about what I really think without being murdered for it.
I'm really glad for this opportunity to work on it. Thank you.
RANDAL: Well, thank you for sharing. There is an element
of betrayal, if you can call it that, and for you to be able to put it
out in public is part of this healing process. You've described the
feeling of what happened then and how that comes up internally
for you now. I used the word invasion, and you were ridiculed.
What comes up when you think about how that felt, and still feels
in certain ways, when you want to express yourself?
JILL: It's an eclipse.
RANDAL: An eclipse of what?
JILL: Of my perceptions. I have my perceptions, it's bright, and
then this disc goes over and it's dark. And I don't know if it's ever
going to get light again. I've worked on it but I haven't been able
to get through the impasse.
RANDAL: Does it actually come up in the sense of wanting to
write something personal and then you get some kind of darkening
feeling?
JILL: Blank, like a brick wall. Well, not a brick wall. It's more
like a fog wall. If I'm just journaling for myself it's no problem
because I can hide my journal now. I'm a grown-up. But I want to
get past this. I have a series of 30 articles that are due. I really feel
like I'm ready to turn the key in the lock and undo whatever is
keeping me afraid.
RANDAL: Okay. Are you ready to do some hypnosis?
JILL: Yes.
RANDAL: (Randal folds a blanket on the floor and Jill lies
down) Do you want a pillow for your head?
JILL: A pillow would be very good.
RANDAL: Okay. (Jill gets comfortable with a pillow under her
head and rests her hands on her stomach) It's probably best to put
your arms at your sides unless you're definitely more comfortable
this way. (Randal and the group laugh as Jill pulls her hands up to
her face to mock hide herself and then puts them at her sides) Here
we go. Look at my two fingers as they move toward your face .
Follow my fingers. That's it. Take a nice deep breath and exhale.
Follow my fingers down until your eyelids close down. (Jill's eyes
close and Randal leads her through a series of rapid induction
methods)
Continue to breathe deeply and rhythmically down into your
belly. You continue to go deeper with every easy breath that you
take. I'm going to ask some ideomotor questions for your fingers
to help determine some perimeters here regarding the issues that
you have been bringing up. I encourage you to trust wherever it
is that your subconscious mind signals is appropriate for us to go.
This is an opportunity for you to take a big step forward in your
life, to tum that key and open that door and move on. You've got a
lot of support in a lot of different ways, perhaps in ways that you
don't even know about. You're going to do fine.
I'd like you to become aware of the hand that you do ideomotor
signaling with. Imagine the word "yes." Think, hear and see the
word "yes" until a certain finger begins to lift and to rise. (Jill's
left index finger moves) All right, it's the index finger of your left
hand. I'm tapping that finger now. This is your "yes" finger.
Now think, hear and see the word "no." There is a certain
finger that is your "no" finger. Keep thinking, hearing and seeing
the word "no" until a certain finger begins to lift and to rise. (Jill's
left thumb moves) Thank you. (tapping the finger) The thumb of
your left hand is your "no" finger.
Now ifl were to ask you a question that even your subconscious
mind doesn't know the answer to, a certain finger will lift for "I .
don't know." Imagine a gray question mark until a certain finger
begins to lift and to rise. (Jill's right thumb moves) You're moving
the thumb of your right hand. That's fine. Now if there was a
question that for some reason your subconscious mind refused
to answer or that can't be answered in a yes, no, or I don't know
way, you could signal at that time with any other finger. (Jill's right
index finger moves) I'm seeing a movement of the right index
finger. Thank you.
Here are a couple of practice questions for you now, Jill. Is this
month that we're in considered to be the month of March? Yes or
no. (Jill's left index finger moves) The answer is yes. Other answers
may not be so immediate but that was an obvious answer. One
more practice question here. Is next month the month of January?
(Jill's left thumb moves) Of course the answer is no.
I'm asking this next question within the context of the issues
that you have been bringing up regarding your writing and your
confidence. You described something along the lines of a fog,
an eclipse, a barrier that sometimes occurs for you around your
writing. Is it safe and appropriate for you to recall any and all
memories having to do with these issues of difficulty or blocks in
writing? (Jill's left index finger moves) The answer is yes.
Another question. As you recall any particular memory
having to do with these difficulties with your writing, is it safe and
appropriate for you to be open to whatever emotions may come
up? Gill's left index finger moves) The answer is yes.
Focus on your breathing as I talk to the class for just a moment.
(to the class) This could be a good time to put down your grounding
cords. Strong feelings may or may not come up but we have to be
open and receptive to whatever occurs.
Jill, I'm going to count from one to ten. As I count upward you
stay in your hypnotic state but you become more in touch with
the feelings and difficulties that you've been talking about. You
used the word eclipse as an example, something dark blocking the
light. You used an example of a fog wall. You mentioned feelings
of being put down or ridiculed. Those are the kinds of things that
come up sometimes when you want to write something. Here we ·
go.
Number one, with each number that I count become more
aware of those feelings. Number two, some kind of block, a fog,
an eclipse that comes up. Number three, feeling the feelings
more intensely, perhaps in a certain place or places in your body.
Number four, the feeling of being criticized for your writing.
Number five, feeling that feeling more strongly with each number
that I count. Number six, this feeling of getting in trouble. Number
seven, feeling that feeling more strongly now, more intensively.
Number eight, beginning to feel those feelings. Like opening the
flood gates of a dam, those feelings are moving through your body.
Number nine, on the next number I count you're right there with
that feeling. Stay with that feeling, number ten.
I'm going to count quickly now from ten down to one. As I

count downward you' re going back to a previous time in your life
when you had some great difficulty because of your writing. When
you got ridiculed, when you got criticized, when you got put down
because of your writing. Ten, nine, going quickly back in time now.
Eight, going back to a previous time. Seven, the years are passing
by and you're going back in time. Number six, returning to a
previous time in your life. Number five, you're getting younger
now. Number four, going back to a time when you got criticized
for your self-expression, for your communication. Number three,
going back to that time now. Number two, on the next number
I count you're right back there at that time. Number one. You
can speak and stay in your hypnotic state. As I ask you some
questions you can give me verbal answers. Are you inside or
outside? Pick one.
JILL: Inside.
JILL: Nighttime.
RANDAL: When you say inside are you in your home or
somewhere else?
JILL: Home.
RANDAL: Your age now. Are you under 15 years-old? Yes or no.
JILL: Yes.
JILL: No.
JILL: No.
RANDAL: Are you 13 years-old?
JILL: Yes.
RANDAL: All right, you're 13. Here's the scene. You're in your
home, it's nighttime and you're inside. What room of the house
are you in?
JILL: The entryway.
RANDAL: Is there at least one person near you?
JILL: Yes.
RANDAL: Who is there?
JILL: My dad and my mom.
RANDAL: At the age of 13 are you called Jill or some other
name?
JILL: Jill Ann.

RANDAL: Your mother and father are there and you're in the
entryway. What's happening?
JILL: I got in late because the bus was late and I got in trouble
for that.
RANDAL: Let's make that in the present tense. "I've just gotten
in late and I'm getting in trouble for something."
JILL: I'm dead.
RANDAL: That's the feeling like, "Oh God, I'm dead." And
why do you feel dead?
JILL: Because my parents are meeting me at the door.
RANDAL: When they're meeting you at the door do you think
you're dead because you're in late, or do you sense that there is
something else happening?
JILL: I knew I was late when I was on the bus and I just dreaded
getting home.
RANDAL: So what's happening now?
JILL: Not only am I late and in trouble for that, but on top of
that, Dad has my journal in his hands.
RANDAL: Okay, this is the scene you were describing before.
I was leaving it open so you could go where you needed to go and
this is the obvious place. Your dad has your journal in his hands
and what is he saying to you?
JILL: I just see his lips moving. I can't hear anything.
RANDAL: I take it he's not happy.
JILL: He's big and unhappy.
RANDAL: You can see his lips moving and you're not even
hearing what he's saying, but you know he's big and unhappy.
He's holding this personal journal of yours in his hands.
JILL: He's pointing at it and thumping his finger on it.
RANDAL: How are you feeling as he's doing that?
JILL: Really scared.
RANDAL: Where do you feel scared? Do you feel it in a
particular part of your body?
JILL: I feel it in my stomach and I tighten up so that my legs go
into a spasm. This whole part of my body just goes rigid. (gesturing
to her hips)
RANDAL: When you say this part of your body are you
meaning from your hips on down to your feet?
JILL: Anything in the range from here (her lower stomach or

hips) to my knees, including my fists.
RANDAL: So the middle section of your body from your
stomach to your knees and your fists go into this rigid tightness.
You're only 13 years-old and your dad is really upset at you. Are
you aware of your mom at this point?
JILL: Yes, she's standing on the second stair. She's not saying
much.
RANDAL: Do you have a sense of how she seems to be feeling
about all of this?
JILL: She's disappointed in me and scared.
RANDAL: She's feeling scared, and you're certainly feeling
scared yourself in this situation.
JILL: (whispers) Yes.
RANDAL: What do you say in response to your father's
thumping on your journal and being so upset?
JILL: I can't say anything. He's the only one who's allowed to
talk. I'm screaming in my head.
RANDAL: Imagine that it's a similar situation now but your
father can't touch you. There's a Plexiglas wall between you and
your father. You're back there now and we've created a magic
barrier. You're 13 years-old and there is screaming going on in
your head. You can tell your father what is screaming in your head.
What do you say to him?
JILL: (softly) I scream, "That's my book."
RANDAL: Go ahead and scream that. "That's my book!"
JILL: (whispering) I can't scream it.
RANDAL: You can take responsibility. You can scream it. It's
your choice. You can say it intensively like you really mean it or
you can scream it.
JILL: (takes a deep breath) As long as he can't hurt me I guess
it's okay.
RANDAL: I promise you he can't touch you now. There's a
Plexiglas wall and I'm protecting you from him. You're going to
do fine.
JILL: (yelling) It's my book!
RANDAL: Great! Now the situation is that you're standing up
for yourself. You're doing something that you couldn't do then,
and that' s good. Be your father. What does he say in response?
JILL: Anything in this house is mine. If you don't want to live

here don't let the door hit you in the ass.
RANDAL: I see. What do you say to him?
JILL: I'm leaving.
RANDAL: What does your father say?
JILL: Get the hell out of here.
RANDAL: Your response?
JILL: (crying softly) I don't know where to go.
RANDAL: Yes, you're only 13 years-old. Go inside your body
now. What do you feel?
JILL: I feel sad and scared.
RANDAL: Where do you feel sad and scared?
JILL: Mostly inside my head. That's all I can feel.
RANDAL: I understand that you feel sad and scared inside
your head. Can you describe the feeling physically? Is there
movement? Is it heavy or light or what?
JILL: Numb. I know I'm sad but I just feel numb. Like I'm in
shock. I can feel my head but I can't feel the rest of my body.
RANDAL: Breathe down into your stomach and maybe you
can get some feeling into the rest of your body. (Jill breathes deeply)
I'm just checking it out here. Right now can you feel anything
below your neck?
JILL: A little bit. I feel a sense of my body. Some twitching in
some of my muscles.
RANDAL: Which muscles do you feel twitching in?
JILL: The backs of my legs and my upper arms from time to
time. They're just random twitches.
RANDAL: I'm picking up this pillow so you can take your fists
and say, "It's my book!" as you hit the pillow. (Randal guides her
hands to the large pillow he's holding) Go ahead.
JILL: (Jill begins hitting the pillow) It's my book! It's ... my...
book!
RANDAL: That's good!
JILL: (getting louder as she continues to hit) Give me my book
back!
RANDAL: (shouting) Say that again. "Give me my book
back!"
JILL: (sobbing) Give me my book back you fucker!
RANDAL: Again! That's good!
JILL: (barely audible through sobs) Give me my book back.

RANDAL: Say that again!
JILL: (shouting forcefully through her sobs) Give me my
fucking book back!
RANDAL: Good! Good! (to the rhythm of her punches) Hit
him! Good! Good! (the hitting stops and Randal takes the pillow
away) Breathe into your stomach. (recovering his own breath)
Breathe into your body. What do you feel in your body? Give_me
a report, please.
JILL: I feel mad in my body.
RANDAL: Where do you feel mad?
JILL: I feel mad in my throat, mad in my fists, mad in my
stomach.
RANDAL: Okay, so you're feeling mad. (getting the pillow)
Let's do it some more. Here's the pillow. Come on. I guess you
don't have your book back.
JILL: (sobbing) I don't want it to be a pillow. I want my fists to
be like a hammer.
RANDAL: Hammer away! Imagine a hammer in your fists and
hit away! Hit away!
JILL: (hitting slowly and forcefully with one fist and then the
other) Like a sledge hammer!
RANDAL: Like a sledge hammer in each fist! Pound away! Tell
him how you feel about him.
JILL: (mumbles) I don't feel anything. (sobbing) I hate you!
RANDAL: Say it again. "I hate you!"
JILL: I hate you! I just hate you! I hate you. (punching to the
words until her energy runs out)
RANDAL: (taking the pillow away and taking a deep breath)
That's good. Are you getting somewhere? You're hitting him with
a sledge hammer. What's happening with him with all of this?
JILL: I think he's confused.
RANDAL: What's happening with you? Go inside your body.
What do you feel?
JILL: Resolved. I feel... worthy for a minute.
RANDAL: All we've ever got is the here and now. Let's drop
the minute and say the first part of that. Let's hear what you have
to say.
JILL: I feel worthy?
RANDAL: Yes, that's what I mean. If you feel it for however

long it is, that's all we have and that's everything. What we've got
is the here and now, so say that again.
JILL: I feel worthy.
RANDAL: Very good. That sledge hammer did it. A couple of
sledge hammers. What do you feel in your body right now?
JILL: I feel happy. .. and sad.
RANDAL: Feel the shifting that's happening. You were tensing
your body and putting that energy in you. You took those sledge
hammers and you got that anger out and you can feel happy about
succeeding, about getting it out of your system., about feeling your
worthiness. You're also feeling some sadness so let's go into that
sadness. There is something left over, perhaps related to that anger.
Where do you feel the sadness?
JILL: (gesturing to the area of her hips) Right here.
RANDAL: In your hip area. The range is from your stomach
down to your upper thighs, is that correct?
JILL: Yes.
RANDAL: Can you describe something more about that
sadness? Is there a physical sensation of some kind or a lack?
JILL: It's severed. Maybe numb. Dark. It doesn't have to do
with writing but it has to do with other Dad stuff. Mad at Dad.
RANDAL: I'm going to help you to bend your knees here.
(Randal guides Jill's legs) Get into this position with your knees
up here and move your pelvis up and push down on the mattress.
Say "I hate you!"
JILL: Like this? (raising her pelvis off the mattress and dropping
it back down)
RANDAL: Yes.
· JILL: (whispering and moving her pelvis slightly) I hate you,
Dad.
RANDAL: Yes.
JILL: I hope I can do this and be here.
RANDAL: Is it too difficult for you to do that?
JILL: I'm afraid of where it's going to go.
RANDAL: I see. This is an opportunity for you to go beyond
your fear of words and emotions. You're a writer and the words
and feelings need to come out. Don't be shy here. Go ahead and
say whatever you want. Maybe there are other words you want to
say to your father. Whatever it is, go for it. This is about your self-
expression and your freedom. It's about your words, your choice,
and your dignity. You have someone who is trying to stifle that and
he has no right to do that.
JILL: I don't know what to do. I'm afraid because I remember
that I'm in the group.
RANDAL: The way I see it, Jill, this group is a perfect
opportunity. After all, isn't this about stopping holding back
because of what people might think? About putting it out there
to the world? (Jill nods) All right then, let's put it out there to the
world.
JILL: (big sigh and then sobs) It's not just my book that he
took!
RANDAL: Tell him. (Jill sobs) Can I take your boots off here?
JILL: Yes. They have a zipper. (sighs) I feel scared, like I'm too
hard of a case.
RANDAL: No, you're doing great. There's more than one way
to do these things. (holding the big pillow and guiding her feet to
kick at it) Alternate some kicking.
JILL: I might hurt you.
RANDAL: I'll protect myself. Go for it!
JILL: (kicking) I hate you, dad! (breaking into sobs again) You
hurt my body... you took my girlhood away. You took my writing
away. You took everything that mattered away! (sobs turning into
anger and screaming) I take it back!
RANDAL: Yes! Keep going. You're doing great!
JILL: My feet are like cement blocks that kick the shit out of
you!
RANDAL: Good, kick the shit out of him!
JILL: (sobbing) You'll never hurt anybody again. You'll never
hurt the girl again and you'll never hurt me again and you'll
never hurt mom again! You'll never ever cut me off, ever! Period!
(screaming) I take my power back! Now!
RANDAL: Yes! Breathe into your gut. (the kicking stops and
Randal removes the pillow) Breathe into your genitals. Feel the
energy. You're doing great. (breathing deeply and pausing to catch
his breath) What do you feel in your body? Give me a report.
JILL: I feel more energy in my body. I feel shame in my body. I
feel gratitude.
RANDAL: Take that shame and get it out. (holding the pillow
to her feet again) We've got some more kicking at him to do. Say,
"Shame on you!" Put it out to him where it belongs. You don't
deserve that. It's not yours. You know who it goes to. You can do it.
JILL: (crying) The shame is all on me.
RANDAL: Tum it around! Put it on him!
JILL: (kicking timidly) Take your shame back. This is your
shame. (kicking strongly and screaming) This is nothing to be
ashamed of! This is not my shame! You can have it back! It's not
mine. (sobbing and screaming) Taking every bit of it back now!
RANDAL: Yes! (takes the pillow away as the kicking stops)
Breathe into your stomach, into your gut, into your pelvis.
(breathing deeply to encourage her deep breathing) What do you
feel in your body?
JILL: I feel strong.
RANDAL: Good!
JILL: Worthy.
RANDAL: Good.
JILL: I feel able.
RANDAL: Good.
JILL: And I feel certain.
RANDAL: I don't see any fog around those feelings. Do you
feel a good clarity and connection in your body now?
JILL: Yes.
RANDAL: Very good. Do you notice any physical sensations
anywhere in your body?
JILL: No.
RANDAL: So you're in touch with your body and you feel
those feelings that you associate with your whole body now, is that
right?
JILL: Yes.
RANDAL: Does that include your pelvis? Do you feel that area?
JILL: Yes.
RANDAL: Excellent. What happened to Dad?
JILL: (laughs) He sort of got blown to smithereens with those
cement shoes.
RANDAL: What those sledge hammers started those cement
shoes finished. Be 13 year-old Jill Ann. Jill did this and Jill Ann did
this. You did this as an adult, you did this as a 13 year-old, you're
doing this now. There's a new kid in town. (Jill giggles) You're
getting your girlhood back as well as your womanhood, more than
you've ever had before. And you deserve it all. That shame that got
imploded wasn't deserved and you got it out. You released it back
to the offending party.
Now you can use your adult reasoning mind to look back
at something that you already knew a lot about. This difficult
experience you had as a 13 year-old had been affecting you until
now and now your experience is different. When you're ready to
talk about that you can signal with your "yes" finger. (after a pause
Jill signals) All right, go ahead.
JILL: I just caved in and slouched a lot. I felt afraid of men. I was
afraid of expressing myself, especially when I was being honest
about my thoughts. I hid my real self. I was mostly comfortable to
be by myself.
RANDAL: You've given a lot of very important ways in which
this affected you. In letting go of that experience and smashing
your dad to smithereens and getting all of that negativity out of
you, how have you changed from this time forward in these ways
of self-expression and posture and so forth? (Randal says this
not as an assumption that all will be effortless and perfect for her
from now on, but to support and encourage her positive mental
expectancy)
JILL: I trust myself and I can stand up straight. I don't have
to hide. I can protect myself and not let other people's shame
debilitate me.
RANDAL: All of these are excellent.
JILL: I can be happy and write at the same time.
RANDAL: Happy and right at the same time. What a nice
combination.
JILL: (spelling) W-R-I-T-E. (Jill could have speculated that
Randal might be saying right instead of write, or her response could
have been the result of her hypnotic state, which can tap people into
their intuition, or at times, even mind-to-mind communication)
RANDAL: Oh! (laughing) Yes, that's an even nicer combination.
You can be happy and write. You've already said plenty, but I want
to check if there is anything more you want to say about how you
are now in your expression and your body and your energy and
your emotions.
JILL: It's easy to write my thoughts now.

RANDAL: I know for a fact that you're really good with
words.
JILL: (laughing) I've been hiding and doing it underneath for
a long time.
RANDAL: Feel yourself being free. Take that key and unlock
that door and move on through. What's on the other side? Are you
already through this door now?
JILL: It's my key and it's my door and I've toyed with going in
and out of it but it's not locked ever again. I'm stepping through
it, but I have an enormous pair of wings that I have to fold to get
through the door. (laughing)
RANDAL: Those wings can really take up a lot of space but
you can tuck them in for now.
JILL: They're pretty spectacular.
RANDAL: Big, beautiful wings.
JILL: My back is to the observer part of me as I walk through
the door and it felt a little scary to go through. I thought it was dark
but it really isn't. I'm here now and it's just new.
RANDAL: Well, after all, the eclipse is gone and you're in the
light. You can see clearly now. Is this a place where there is room
for you to spread your wings?
JILL: Oh, yes.
RANDAL: Are you inside or outside?
JILL: I'm outside and it's my inner world. There are acres of
wildflowers.
RANDAL: That sounds lovely.
JILL: And there are streams. My wings are put away still.
RANDAL: Do you want them still put away at this point?
JILL: Yes. I have a big hawk that stays on my shoulder, and I
have to put them away when the hawk comes out.
RANDAL: Is the hawk out now?
JILL: When I come into my inner world my hawk is on my
shoulder.
RANDAL: Be here in your inner world with your hawk. It's
great to have your wings tucked away for now. There is a time
for everything. There are acres of wildflowers. You can feel free
and strong and powerful. Describe how you love to write. Say
something about that.
JILL: I'm standing on a bridge in my very big yard and I raise

my hand and say I'm home. I can write. I'm doing this. All of the
beings and the animals and the people who support me on the
inside are having a party for me.
RANDAL: Is this a coming out party of sorts?
JILL: Yes. It's not like a big brawl or anything, they're just really
cheering me on. A lot of little people, fairies and things.
RANDAL: That's fabulous. Take some time to just be here with
this wonderful support system that is celebrating and cheering for
you. They want you to know how happy they are for you and how
much they love you. They're excited for you to have your complete
expansive freedom. One of the nice things about being here with
your hawk is that you have all the time in the world to fly whenever
you want to, but right now it feels good to be grounded in your
body. Feel yourself solidly on beautiful mother earth.
I'm going to count from five to one and at the count of one
you're going to have a special time distortion experience where
every second of outer time will give you a minute of inner time.
A minute or two of outer time with this experience will be like
a couple of hours to just be there with these wonderful beings
supporting you. When I reach the count of one you have this time
distortion and take in all of these wonderful experiences. Five,
four, three, two, one.
(after two minutes) All right, returning now to normal time.
I want to encourage you to go back to this very wonderful place
whenever you want. Give me a signal if you're ready to complete
your celebration and move on. am signals with her left index
finger) The signal is yes.
Jill, I can feel almost giddy trying to imagine the exuberance
and full expression that you have and deserve to have. am giggles)
I hadn't seen you since the Level Two class last August and for
someone who at times had issues related to your writing and self-
expression, you wrote a beautiful note that made it incredibly clear
how much you had enjoyed the classes. I was very moved by that.
You have certainly touched me with your power, your exuberance,
your energy, and who you are. You are an extremely powerful
woman and you're just going for it from here.
Your writing is not only something you do that gives so much to the
world, it also gives so much to you. You feel your full self-expression
being communicated through words and actions. You are a powerful

writer. You are very good with words. You have an excellent mind
for writing but it's your heart and soul, as much as your mind, that
is corning through in your writing. You have thrown away that
former experience. You will have a memory of what happened but
it no longer has the affect that it had. The memory of that seems a
lot smaller and a lot further away.
You know, there is a silver lining to the difficulties that happen
when things aren't fair. In fact, there is a golden opportunity here
because there was so much that you were holding back, and now
you can really get it out and feel the tremendous release. There
are so many things that you want to write. You can take them a
step at a time because you've got the rest of your life. Just as you
are giving so much to the world as you do that, you are healing
yourself as well.
The other side of the coin is that you can actually use that
difficulty and the experiences you've had up until now as a means
of adding to the depth of who you are as a person. The part of you
that has been wounded and is healing can give you empathy and
awareness. Not only in expressing yourself, but in giving you an
identification with people so that you can reach out and understand
in a very deep way. All the difficulties you had before, and your
tremendous freedom now, makes that energy and happiness and
vitality all the more joyous and even ecstatic sometimes. It's not
like you'll feel this happiness all the time, but it'll keep corning
back. It'll linger and express itself in so many ways. Writing is
such a wonderful art form for your mind and your heart and your
whole being.
Is there anything further that you would like to say or to ask
before I help you come back out of the hypnosis? (Jill signals with
her left thumb) No. There is a sense of completion here and a sense
of beginning. Feel the happiness and the energy that you bring with
you. It's yours forever. No one is going to take anything away from
you. All the important things, the essence of who you are, is yours.
You've got it back and you're keeping it. You can trust yourself to
expand in many exuberant and healthy and robust ways.
Here we go. Number one, slowly, calmly, easily and gently
coming back to the room. All aspects of yourself are coming back
completely to the present time. Number two, corning all the way
back and owning your adult self, the teenage you, the child you,
the infant you, all the different ages of you that are all the more
whole and all the more free. Number three, with each number
that I count you' re more and more energized, refreshed and
invigorated. Number four, getting ready to open your eyes. On the
next number you open your eyes and are then fully alert, refreshed
and alive, and I mean fully alive! Gill laughs) Number five. You can
open your eyes and take a breath and stretch. Gill's eyes open and
Randal helps her to sit up)
JILL: (throwing her arms up) Yes!
RANDAL: Welcome back. Be sure to take some time tonight
and tomorrow to go inward and have some quiet time, because
you've done a lot of cathartic work here. There is a balance to reach
here between contact and withdrawal.
JILL: There is a price I have to pay, in terms of being more
available to myself.
RANDAL: Yes, you want to give yourself some time for a
while, starting this evening and tomorrow, to go inward and just
relax and savor your aliveness. You can be on top of the world
and love the energy with people, and know also that you need to
experience some precious alone time as well.
JILL: I want to say that I've worked on this with a lot of other
modalities, and there's always been a piece I haven't been able to grab.
RANDAL: And now you have?
JILL: Yes, and that's why I stepped up to the plate. Hypnosis
is a great opportunity to access the subconscious where decisions
are made and that was what I needed to do just now. I really thank
you for this opportunity. I've been saying, "I'm going to get it!" but
I wasn' t getting it. And I've got it now.
RANDAL: I know that, too. We're going to take a break and
after that I'll say something about this process. I'll ask you then if
there is anything further you'd like to say and we'll take questions.
(to the class) There is an incredible range of what people can go
through with regression. This was a cathartic example. There was
something about Jill's energy when she was coming up to the plate
here that led me to think we might have some fireworks. (to Jill)
With all that was going on in your body you needed to get that out
and you did a great job with it. Gill giggles) This was a home run!
A grand slam! Let's hear it for Jill. (applause)
RANDAL: (after a break) A couple of people told me during the

break that they were feeling so much emotion watching the session
that they started to cry, and I'll bet they' re not the only ones. One
of them said that seeing that I wasn't crying helped her to maintain
her groundedness. But I also want to say th_a t being in my position
is certainly different than being in the audience. If I was out there I
might be crying. That's not to say that I never will shed tears when
I'm working in a session, but having the responsibility helps me to
be grounded and stay in charge.
Also, as you continue over time to do regression work, which
sometimes involves emotional clearing, you get adjusted to
the intensity so that you can be with somebody who is feeling
very strong emotions and remain centered. You can feel great
compassion for the person. I felt some of my strongest emotions
in the session when I was hearing about this incident the first
time. It was heartbreaking. I can feel for someone but at the same
time I am here to serve this person, and it's important to have my
independent space to be able to do that.
I'd like to say a few words about the process. Right from the
beginning Jill came out with this dramatic scene with her father.
You might question why I was being so general when we were
going back in time, and it was because sometimes there is an earlier
incident that could be repressed, or a related early experience
that could be surprisingly important. The affect bridge works to
help you go to where you need to go. Most of the time, when we
have discussed in the preinduction interview what seems to be an
obvious initial sensitizing event, the client will go to that place. By
being general you are not leading the person when there could be
another or even more relevant incident to go to, instead of or as
well as the seemingly obvious one.
That said, there are times when I will suggest a person go to
a specific memory instead of generalizing. But if I do specify a
place to go I will then usually do ideomotor signals to determine
whether there is some other major event that is also important to
go to. Or after a general affect bridge has led to a different event,
I will suggest going to a specific incident discussed by the client
earlier.
Once we got into the work I started checking, as is usual, with
ideomotor signals to see whether it was appropriate to be open to
explore any memories and be open to any emotions. I'm not trying
to suggest that the person has to feel or express a particular kind
of emotion, although the affect bridge and Gestalt will certainly
encourage emotions to come up. The key is whether to be open to
the emotions as opposed to being detached, as would be the case
in instances when a person feels the need to have distance from the
emotions, whether a particular feeling or in general.
A classic Gestalt method we repeatedly used was to externalize
negative feelings that were being internalized. If someone is
hurting her body in some way, repressing energy, then we want to
get that out and redirect it. A perfect example of that was when Jill
felt shame. I started to have her put the shame out into the father
and she had a hard time getting it out at first. (to Jill) He had given
you the shame, now let's send it back. You took it on, as any child
in your position would have done. When you were 13 you didn't
have the Plexiglas and you didn' t have a therapist working with
you. (to the class) This was imploded energy that she needed to get
out and give back to her father. He was the one who deserved it for
the invasion of her privacy, and she was able to release the trauma
of that imprint experience and take her power back.
When doing a Gestalt dialogue we can occasionally have
the client check inside, where the person's inner awareness will
give lots of information and ultimately suggest directions for the
therapeutic process to develop. The client may be very subdued,
or feeling some feelings but not strongly expressive, or it may
ultimately become cathartic. It's whatever the person needs. Jill
had this tension building up that she needed to get out. Go with
the flow. If I had said, "Go ahead, hit this pillow," and Jill happened
to burst into tears, I'm not going to say, "No, don't cry. Hit the
pillow." (laughter)
Again, it's not always an expression of those emotions that needs
to happen. It may be about realizations, about communicating your
truth to yourself or others, about making peace, or about a gradual
letting go. We have to be careful to not make assumptions. A lot of
people who think they're letting go of emotions are really turning
them in and holding things back, creating muscular tension and
other physical and emotional problems. Gestalt awareness processes
are a way to get clear about issues of repression versus truly letting
go. Those are a few thoughts on the matter. Are there any questions?
PRISCILLA: When you were asking Jill to make a movement

and she wasn't comfortable with it, at first you were encouraging
her to do it. How do you know when to stop or if it's the right
thing for somebody?
RANDAL: I'm glad you're bringing that up. Jill had this
repression in the pelvic area which included some anger toward her
father. I wanted her to move that out. Some of the techniques such
as hitting or kicking that are used in Gestalt have been developed
to a greater extent by bodywork methods like bioenergetics. You
have your client mechanically do a symbolic repetitive movement,
sometimes with sounds or words, that can help tap into and release
strong emotions. Before that, Jill's hands were making fists and we
moved into hitting the pillow. Then it felt that the energy in the
pelvis needed expression. Part of her resistance was that she felt
concerned about what might come out. But for whatever reason,
that was not the only choice. I will coax a person up to a certain
point if they seem to be holding back because they're afraid of the
feeling or they're self-conscious. I'm not going to push a person
too much, but I'll give some initial encouragement. Then it worked
really well to switch over to kicking.
(to Jill) I also want to mention something you said at one
point about being a difficult subject. I had no question whatsoever
that we were coming along fine. Even when a person doesn't get
anywhere for a moment we just stay with this process and it will
tend to resolve itself. The feeling of self-consciousness came up at
that time and may have come up at another time as well, and that's
fine. I pointed it out, saying something like, "You're holding back
because of the group and what's the issue? It's communicating and
getting the word out there to other people. If you can do this in the
group that's all the better. You're making a statement to the world
here."
It's wonderful that when we encounter something that could
be seen as a barrier or a problem, we can transform it. What seems
like a liability can be reframed into an opportunity. This was a
good example. One of the beautiful things about Gestalt is that
as feelings come up, that's a part of your experience. You go with
those feelings.
JILL: I have a comment on the legs thing. It was very good that
you shifted into doing the kicking because the other movement
was going to trigger me into a bunch of other regressions that I

didn't want to go to.
RANDAL: Good for you. You took charge there and that
was why you were holding back. That gave us an chance to do
something that would fit better yet still dealt with the block in the
pelvic area. Obviously restricted energy in the pelvis is going to
affect the legs, and vigorous kicking with the legs will help free up
the pelvis.
JILL: Yes, and it just felt less confrontive with the memory. It
sort of hit it from another direction and yet it accessed the same
energy.
RANDAL: Exactly. It was perfect. That's how we can work
together as a team. It also goes to show that in hypnosis you still
have control. You could say no at any point, even though we had
really good rapport and were moving along. In some places there
was some initial resistance and then you would get right through
it. Then in this place there was initial resistance and we shifted the
movement and it worked great that way.
PERRY: Jill's rage when she was kicking seemed to be somewhat
controlled given the gravity of the situation. I know women who
would have knocked you out. (laughter)
RANDAL: Let me tell you, she was pretty powerful! I was
really bracing. There was not only physical but psychic and
emotional energy there! If you have some doubt about whether
you can handle some movement there are alternative things you
can do. I could have had her alternately kick her legs up and down
on the mattress, for example.

RANDAL: (Jill is sitting next to Randal) I was thinking about
our session afterwards and recalling that there are exceptional
cases when someone at the start of a session says she's scared
and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I might move into an
ideomotor exploration, or lead a detached regression without
even checking whether detachment is needed. Or I might go
in a different direction, working with positive suggestions and
metaphors.
You came up here and sat down with all of this energy and
said, "I'm scared!" and yet it felt like you were raring to go. I had
an intuition that you would be signaling yes, let's go for it, and you
certainly did.
Sometimes a person's presence and body language might
indicate a more inward energy, more repressed, or more shy. In a
situation like that I would be inclined to go in a much softer, gentler
way. Maybe somewhere into the session, if it feels appropriate, the
person may go further with it. But in the vast majority of cases
when I'm about to do a regression with a client I prepare for
possible emotional clearing work by the ideomotor checking. So,
how have you been doing?
JILL: Ah, yes, it's been several lifetimes. (laughter)
RANDAL: I see. We've been doing some processing, have we?
(more laughter)
JILL: First there was an internal breaking of the seal on the
code of silence and that shattered something on the inside. For the
next couple of days I felt like the Library of Congress inside with
all of the books on the floor. There were books everywhere and
they were all unsorted. (laughing) Oh, God! Where do I start? I
just noticed that and went with it. Through some of the hypnosis
processes that we did here in class and little sessions on my own,
I was able to take those feelings of being overwhelmed and sort it
out. I let my subconscious and my heart do their things. It reminded
me, if you've ever seen the Popeye cartoon, of when Whimpy has
a stack of bread in one hand and lunch meat in the other and he
shuffles it all up and then the sandwiches are all made. (laughter)
That was my vision.
RANDAL: (laughing) That's an interesting visualization.
JILL: And the other one was that for a long time I've just felt
shattered by experiences from my childhood. When I'd go into my
meditations with things like that, I've worked with this for a long
time, I haven't quite picked it up piece by piece like that. (taking
a big breath) How many lifetimes is this going to take! But doing
it in hypnosis with that subconscious sorting process made it so
much faster and more efficient. From a feeling of having all of
these shards of mirror down around my feet, it became a series
of mirrors. Sometimes when you have two mirrors together you
can see a corridor of mirrors. Well, that corridor of mirrors was
an image that I worked with for several days. Then yesterday I
had a great image of all different ages of me sitting at a round
table and all these ages of me got to meet all the people in my
inner world that will protect them. I felt all those mirrors coming
together (clapping her hands), like that. I'm sure I'm going to have
other ones pop up but it was very gratifying. The work that we
did sort of encapsulated and then over the next few days it went
underground and then above ground and internally. It's been
awesome.
RANDAL: That's beautiful. Are you looking forward to doing
some writing when you go home after this intensive?
JILL: Yes.
RANDAL: Thank you.
JILL: Thank you, everyone.
CHAPTER 15
Kane's Rebellion Revisited

Unfinished Issues of School and Mother
RANDAL: What would you like to work on?

KANE: Well, I'm going to be starting college in the fall and
I've always had some apprehension about going back to school.
When I was younger it was important to my mother that I become
a doctor or a lawyer. Those were the only two correct choices that
I was allowed to have.
RANDAL: My son, the doctor. Or lawyer.
KANE: Yes, and as a young, wild, curly-haired boy who
wanted to be a race car driver, it didn't sit well. To summarize, as
a child I scored very high in aptitude tests. They wanted to put me
into a special school to pursue an engineering background so that I
could become a rocket scientist or physicist or something like that.
We came from a poor family and my mother, not having had the
things she wanted when she grew up, realized that I had a good
opportunity for a better life than she thought she had. But that
wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted to be like the other kids.
I didn't feel very listened to. It was like, "Yes, but..." As things
progressed I felt more and more resistance. I was the only child of
a single parent and my mother really pounded it in that I must do
well in school and go into college prep programs instead of being
in, say, shop or metal class, typical things that I wanted to do. I was
placed in honors programs when I was younger and there was a
lot of homework in all of my classes. I felt like I was forced to do
it. I built up a rebellion and as a result, I failed in sixth grade. I had
to repeat it.
278 CAIBARSIS IN REGRESSION HYPNOTHERAPY
RANDAL: In the sixth grade were you already in honors

classes?
KANE: Even before that. When I was in first grade they were
going to advance me to second grade because of my aptitude, but
because I was a poor behavioral student they didn't. The constant
theme of my report cards was, "Shows a lack of self-discipline. Fails
to maintain self-control." I was the class clown and I was always
in the principal' s office. I was a really exuberant kid, laughing and
friendly. School was easy for me so I didn't feel the need to pay
attention. I'd just fool around and then I'd get in trouble. They
didn't put me ahead a grade because they said I wasn't emotionally
mature enough even though I was intellectually smart enough.
Every year up until fifth grade I went to the next grade for certain
subjects like reading and math. In first grade I would go to the
second grade class for reading and math and then back to first
grade for the other subjects.
I don't know exactly why, but I got less and less interested in
school. Fifth grade was when I got my first "F" and that was a big
deal at home. Then in sixth grade I totally fell apart and failed
every single class. I would do well on all of my tests, it wasn't that I
wasn't learning the material, but I wouldn't do my homework. The
teachers would fail me because of that. I felt that was hypocritical
because at the beginning of the school year the teachers would
always say, "Here's how we make your grades: 50% is from tests,
20% is from quizzes, 10% is class participation, 10% is attendance
and 10% is homework. As a bright kid who was good at math I
would think, well, if I don't do my homework I still get an A. I get
a 90 as long as I show up in class and participate and I get 100 on
all of my tests. (laughter) But in the teacher's mind that equated
to a 55.
RANDAL: They weren't as good at math as you were,
unfortunately, but they were the ones who gave the grades.
KANE: It was like I was special on the one hand but then they
would say, "What do you think, that because you're smart you
don't have to do your homework?" I would end up failing and that
just went on. Finally, after I failed in sixth grade I was like, wow,
I don't really want to stay back. This kind of sucks. Now I have to
do it all over again. So I got myself passed along but I never really
did well.
Kane's Rebellion Revisited 279
RANDAL: Let's bring it up to date. In junior high and high

school did you just muddle through most of the time?
KANE: I actually ended up getting thrown out of high school. I
just hated it at that point. The only thing that kept me in school was
my love for sports. School was still easy, even through high school.
One teacher in my sophomore year picked me out and said, "Look,
I don't care how well you do. If you don't do my homework you're
going to fail my class." At the end of the year he mathematically
figured it out and gave me a 29.3 in the last marking period, failing
me for the year. I failed English that year also, because I hated my
English teacher. That meant I couldn't play sports. I was an all-
state football player at that point so it was really...
RANDAL: It must have been devastating for you.
KANE: It was. I hated school and I didn't see any reason to
continue. The way my mother took it was that if I wouldn't do
what she wanted she wouldn't give me any more love. She basically
moved out with her boyfriend and I lived alone in the apartment
that was left, which was kind of fine for me. At least I was left alone
and not bothered anymore. But because of this I developed some
strong negative associations toward school and it's still a constant
theme from my mother that I must go to college. Even when I go
home now, and I'm 30 years-old, she'll say, "When are you going
to go to college?" A part of me is still rebellious and I think that has
prevented me from going to college just to not please my mother.
Now it's important for me to go to college because intellectually I
want to go and learn for myself.
RAND AL: So you' re not doing it to give in to your mother. You' re
doing it for yourself and it'll be great if that makes her happy, too.
KANE: But I still have these feelings that are anchored to the
past so that whenever I get out the college catalog and start looking
at all the forms to enroll, I get that feeling of... I can't even describe
the feelings, but I've been dragging my feet. There's nothing that's
preventing me from enrolling in school except for me. It seems like
I always come up with an excuse not to do it.
RANDAL: What's the value you expect to get from going back
to school now?
KANE: A wonderful experience, a social environment, meeting
people who are interested in life, and wanting to learn. I want to
meet different people and expand my mind and my capacities.
RANDAL: Not necessarily for your work, then.

KANE: Right, I don't think that's necessary for me.
RANDAL: I know you're a successful coach and you don't
need to get a college education for that, but you feel it would
broaden your experience and your awareness and help you to
connect socially. And ultimately, in ways that may surprise you in
the future, there may be some time when you want to get ahead
in whatever way, including as a coach, by expanding things to the
next level. Having a college background or a college degree may
make a big difference.
KANE: Yes, just to be a more well-rounded person intellectually
and socially.
RANDAL: Does your concern get down to just the homework,
or are there issues about all of the unpleasant associations with
failure and authority figures?
KANE: I want to make sure that I give it my 100 percent effort.
I don't want to just go to college, I'd like to excel at college. I'd like
to tum it around and get straight P.:s and feel comfortable staying
at home and putting in the time and effort that's needed to get the
grades. I want to really comprehend the material. I don't want to
be one of those people who just crams at the end of a course, like
waiting until the last three days to get an assignment done. I want
to say, hey, this is important to me. I want to take that on and do
very well in it.
RANDAL: Good. Do you want to go to a state college,
university, private school, community college, or what?
KANE: At first I'm going to start at community college. I went
back and got my high school diploma but I've never taken a SAT
or ACT or anything like that. I'm not going to jump right into a
university but I'd eventually like to transfer.
RANDAL: That sounds like a good way to do it. One thing
that concerns me is that you're talking about straight P.:s, which is
great. I like your enthusiasm. But regarding the perfectionism, if
you get mostly A's and some B's, can you live with that?
KANE: Sure.
RANDAL: That's good. We have to define our perimeters of
success. I'd say that going from failing to averaging two or three
N s for every Bis very good indeed. Are you ready for some hypnosis?
(Randal puts a thin mattress on the floor and Kane gets comfortable)
KANE: A little side note that I didn't mention, Randal, is that

between the teachers and my mother I think I built up a resistance
to authority figures. (laughter)
RANDAL: (standing tall with his hands on his hips, and a stern
voice) What's that you say? (more laughter)
KANE: One more thing that I'd like to work on is not to have
an emotional response every time somebody tells me something in
an authoritative manner. The way I react now when my emotional
buttons get pushed is I feel this lightning bolt strike through my
body and the heat starts to rise. I even start sweating and that's
something I'd also like to release. If I have a teacher that I don't
necessarily like, I don't want to have those feelings. I realize it's
just something I need to deal with and move on. ·
RANDAL: Is this a suggestion you want for yourself?
KANE: Yes.
RANDAL: Okay, good. I'd like you to close your eyes now.
Take a nice deep breath and fill up your lungs. Exhale slowly and
relax. That's good. (Randal leads Kane through a series of rapid
induction methods)
I'm going to check your finger signals now. There is a certain
finger on your right or your left hand that is your "yes" finger.
Think, see and hear the word "yes" until a certain finger begins
to lift and to rise. (Kane's right index finger moves) It's the index
finger on your right hand. Now a certain finger is your "no"
finger. Think, hear and see the word "no" until a certain finger lifts
upward. (Kane's right thumb moves) It's the thumb on your right
hand. If I ask you a question that even your subconscious mind
doesn't know the answer to you could signal with your middle
finger or your little finger of your right hand. Just think the words
"I don't know" until a certain finger begins to lift up. (Kane's right
little finger moves) It's your little finger. Thank you. And if there
is a question that you don't know how to properly answer with
a yes or a no, then you could signal with the middle finger of the
right hand.
Kane, we're dealing with the kinds of issues you've been
bringing up about school; issues of fear and failure, and about going
back to school. My question for you is, is it safe and appropriate for
you to remember any and all memories having to do with issues
of fearand failure? (Kane's right index finger moves) The answer
is yes. The next question is, is it safe and appropriate for you to
be open to your emotions and feelings as you recall any and all
memories having to do with issues of failure in school? (Kane's
right index finger moves) The answer is yes. Let me expand that
to talk about failure in general. Is it safe and appropriate for you
to be open to any and all emotions, as well as memories, having
to do with issues of failure? (Kane's right index finger moves) The
answer is yes. Thank you.
All right, Kane, I'm going to count from one to ten. With each
number that I count you'll become more aware of the feelings that
you've been talking about. The kinds of feelings that have to do
with failure, that have to do with difficulties in school, that have to
do with difficulties you feel in thinking about going back to school.
Recalling certain ways in which you felt failure before. Number
one, becoming more aware of those feelings of failure. Number
two, you can recall it because you've had the fear of failure even
recently. Number three, that' s part of what brought you up here.
Number four, the fear of failure about going back to school. Number
five, with each number that I count you're becoming more aware
of that feeling. Number six, more aware of that feeling of failure.
Number seven, feeling it in your body. Number eight, feeling it
more strongly. Number nine, on the next number I count you're
right there with that feeling. That fear of failure, number ten.
I'm going to count quickly from ten down to one as you go
back to an earlier time in your life when you felt this fear of failure.
Number ten, nine, eight, going quickly back in time. Seven, six,
going back to an earlier time. Five, going back in time. The pages
of the calendar are flipping back. Four, going back quickly in time.
Three, two, on the next number I count you're right there. Number
one. I'm going to ask you some questions and you can quickly
answer verbally. Are you inside or outside?
KANE: Inside.
KANE: Daytime.
RANDAL: Get a sense of your age in this memory that's coming
up for you. Are you under 12 years-old? Yes or no.
KANE: No.
RANDAL: Are you under 15 years-old?
KANE: No.

KANE: Yes.
RANDAL: What is your age right now?
KANE: Sixteen, I think.
RANDAL: Okay. You're 16, you're inside and it's daytime. Are
you at school, at home, or somewhere else?
KANE: At school.
RANDAL: At the age of 16 is your name Kane?
KANE: Yes.
RANDAL: All right, Kane. Are you alone or are others there or
just one person?
KANE: Myself and a teacher.
RANDAL: What's going on with you and the teacher?
KANE: The teacher has pulled me out into the hall to talk to
me. He has taken steps to try to get me to do my homework before.
It started out as a humiliation, to point out to the whole class that I
was one of the people who didn't do his homework.
RANDAL: Was that something he had just done today?
KANE: No.
RANDAL: That was something he had previously done.
What's he doing now?
KANE: He's already taken another step by informing the class
that each day I don't do my homework I'll get five points taken off
of my test at the end of the week. Every Friday we have a test and
we have Monday through Thursday to have homework, so now I
start my test off with an 80 even if I were to get all correct answers.
This has caused me to go from doing my homework once or twice
a week, maybe three times in a good week, to zero.
RANDAL: So how do you feel about what he's doing?
KANE: I feel it's unfair. School is too subjective. We're here to
learn and these people pick favorites. I like you, I don't like you.
The people they like are treated better than the people they don't
like. It's not fair because I do well and I learn and this other stuff is
irrelevant at this point.
RANDAL: Do you share your feelings with him?
KANE: Not at this particular time but Yve probably brought
that up in some of our other conversations. At one point he told us
how he was going to grade people and he's not following his own
words.
RANDAL: Did you point that out to him at some time?

KANE: Yes.
RANDAL: So he knows what you've previously said, and
now he's hearing you describe your feelings that this isn't fair.
When I tap you on the shoulder imagine being your teacher
and responding to Kane's feelings about this. (tapping Kane's
shoulder) Go ahead.
KANE: I don't care what you think or feel. This is my class
and you're going to do my homework. You might get your 80's or
whatever, but if you don't do your homework I'll make sure that
at the end of the year you will fail my class.
RANDAL: (continuing to touch the shoulder whenever he has
Kane switch) Switch and be Kane and respond.
KANE: I'm just holding it in. I'm repressing all of my feelings
of anger because I feel like if I start letting it out I might physically
assault him.
RANDAL: What is going on in your body right now?
KANE: My heart is beating faster. There is a lot of tension in
my chest and lungs area. A feeling like anxiety.
RANDAL: Feel that anxiety. Feel your heart pounding. What is
that feeling in your chest and lungs area?
KANE: It feels like this massive ball of energy that is being
held in really tightly.
RANDAL: Okay, I want you to do that to this pillow. (placing a
large pillow in his hands) Do to this pillow what you've been doing
in your body. Put all of that energy into here. Put it into a ball.
(Kane's muscles are straining as he intensely squeezes the pillow)
Put it into a ball! Put it into a ball! Breathe as you do it. That's
right! You're doing that to the teacher now. Do that to the teacher!
Put that into him! Squeeze him! (Kane begins to relax) Okay, that's
good. (Randal takes the pillow) Breathe down into your stomach.
Feel your body. What do you feel right now?
KANE: A lot calmer.
RANDAL: This is a safe place to do that. We're dealing with
the energy of that situation and getting it out of you and into the
pillow or symbolically, the teacher. Be the teacher now. What does
the teacher want to say?
KANE: I don't think there would be a teacher at this point.
(Kane is a very muscular man)
RANDAL: Okay, so you've made your point to the teacher. You

don't like what he was doing. Now when I touch your shoulder I
would like you to bring in adult Kane. You said you're 30, is that
correct?
KANE: Yes.
RANDAL: Thirty year-old Kane, talk to 16 year-old Kane. Is
there anything you'd like to say to him about those feelings that
this is really unfair. "I'm here. I'm learning. That's the point.
I shouldn't have to do this homework." When I tap you on the
shoulder I would like you, adult Kane, to talk to 16 year-old Kane.
(touching his shoulder)
KANE: Kane, this is me from your future. I'm here today to try
and help you with some insights so hopefully you won't have to
suffer frustrations and mistakes that, being you in the future, I see
you have created for yourself. Life, although you don't like to look
at it that way, is like a game. We should be able to express ourselves
freely and just be who we are all the time. But we don't live in that
kind of world or society and sometimes, actually most of the time,
it's more beneficial to play the game. Look at the circumstances and
see how to get what you need with the least amount of resistance
and be flexible in your approach. Change your approach, change
your style, rather than just being yourself all the time.
RANDAL: Switch and be 16 year-old Kane and respond to
that.
KANE: (laughing) I'm not really sure what to say to that.
RANDAL: Well, you're 16 year-old Kane and you can say
whatever you want.
KANE: How is this going to make my life better?
RANDAL: Make that into a statement.
KANE: It seems like to be somebody that is not me to get what
I want is manipulation.
RANDAL: Switch and be 30 year-old Kane.
KANE: That is definitely one way to look at it but another way
to look at it is, what are the consequences if I don't adapt to fit the
situation? The way you're looking at it now, Kane, is that you are
omnipotent in your universe. You can push the universe around
or just be your free expression and the world is going to conform
to meet your needs. That's just not reality. The reality is that you
are a person in this universe and you have to be present and aware
enough to see the environment you're in and adapt to it so you can

survive with the least amount of injury or harm to yourself.
RANDAL: Good. Be 16 year-old Kane.
KANE: That sounds very logical. I don't think I know exactly
how to do that yet but I promise to think about this more.
RANDAL: Be 30 year-old Kane and respond.
KANE: You're bright and intelligent. You have all of the
resources you need to be successful and you'll be successful no
matter what approach you take. The difference is how much you' re
going to have to struggle to get to the goal at the end. The more
you learn to be flexible and see what the situation is before you
take action, the less effort you'll need to use to get the results you
want.
RANDAL: Be 16 year-old Kane.
KANE: That makes sense.
RANDAL: Now 16 year-old Kane, recognizing the sense that
your 30 year-old self from the future is making, I'd like you to
imagine now what you want to do with that realization, in terms
of being in school and doing your homework.
KANE: Most of the reason that I don't do what I'm supposed
to do in school is that I'm rebelling against my mother because
she won't give me love and appreciation the way I want it. So I
childishly am not giving her what I know will make her happy
because she won't listen to me and understand my perspective.
Also, the better I do in school, the more likely my mother is going
to pressure me into going to college because I'll get a scholarship
or it just fits that I should go to college. But that's not what I want
to do with my life.
RANDAL: So bring your mother here, 16 year-old Kane. What
do you want to say to her?
KANE: I just want you to let me be who I am. I want you to
appreciate and love me for who I am and trust that I know what
decisions are right for me. I know that you care about me and you
think you know what's best for me. I'm sure you do have insights
and wisdom that I don't have. But I have a strong sense of what
I want to do and I feel that I could be successful in that. It hurts
. me when you tell me that the things I want to do are stupid or
irrational or something I shouldn't pursue.
RANDAL: Switch and be your mother. Respond to your son.
KANE: (pause) I have a hard time because it's usually explosive

and loud and I just turn off. I get so emotional that I can' t remember
what's said. I couldn't even tell you what she would say because I
have to shut down.
RANDAL: What are you doing right now? Are you shutting
down?
KANE: Yes.
RANDAL: How are you shutting down?
KANE: I'm trembling, and there's a huge ball of energy in my
chest. I'm repressing it and keeping it down so I don't explode.
RANDAL: You're going to do that to your mother now. Here
she is. (holding a different pillow in front of Kane) Squeeze it into
her now. Give it back to her. (Kane is squeezing the pillow but
reluctantly)
KANE: I don't want to give it back to her. I love her.
RANDAL: Say that to her. She's right there.
KANE: I love you. I just want you to love me back. (crying)
Just love me. (sobbing softly) You're the only family I have.
KANE: (crying) You're the only one that I have. (sobbing) I
don't want to fight.
RANDAL: What does your mother say in response?
KANE: Yes, but... I just want you to make sure that... I want the
best for you in your life.
RANDAL: I'm talking to mother now. Say what you just said
only use the word "and" instead of "but" so you're not negating
the yes. Say, "Yes, and also ... " Something like that. Tell him what
you want.
KANE: I just can't hear it.
RANDAL: Is this Kane talking?
KANE: Yes, this is Kane. It's just so repressed. All this stuff,
these constant fights and battles. It's so repressed down there. It's
the same theme over and over again.
RANDAL: Get in touch with your body. What do you feel?
KANE: Stress, anxiety, discomfort.
RANDAL: Where do you feel it?
KANE: My chest and stomach mostly.
RANDAL: You said stress and anxiety. Is there tension?
KANE: Trembling and tension.
RANDAL: All right, you've got more there. Let's put it into her.
KANE: (starts to squeeze the pillow) I feel like squeezing is
more like compressing it back in there. Making it smaller instead
of expanding it and letting it out. I can't hurt my mother. I just
can't visualize this. Squeezing is like hurting her. That's not what
I want.
RANDAL: What do you want?
KANE: (voice cracking) I just want to scream. I just want to say
love me. Just leave me alone. Just shut up.
RANDAL: (loudly) Shout it to her.
KANE: (screaming) Shut up! Listen to me!
RANDAL: Good!
KANE: (still screaming out the words) Listen to me! I know
what I want!
RANDAL: Good!
KANE: I don't need you to tell me what I want! I just need you
to love me! Just love me! (sobs and then bursts into penetrating
screams) AAAHHHHHHH! AAAHHHHHHH!
RANDAL: (pushing the pillow that Kane has been holding to
his mouth) Bite it now.
KANE: (biting and screaming) AAAHHHHH! AAAHHHHH!
RANDAL: That's good. One more time.
KANE: AAAHHHHHHH! (turning into sobs)
RANDAL: (whispering) That's good. It's okay to cry. Keep
breathing into your belly like you' re doing. It's good to cry. It's
good to feel your feelings. It's good to get your feelings out. This is
a safe place to do that. What are you feeling in your body now?
KANE: Relief.
RANDAL: Go ahead and relax. You're doing very well. You're
getting an A in this class. Stay with your feelings. How do you feel
right now?
KANE: Like I'm trying to let all the tension out.
RANDAL: How is your body doing in that respect? Do you
feel the tension evaporating?
KANE: Yes, the tension is leaving as I breathe.
RANDAL: Good, just do that. Let the tension leave as you
breathe deeper. (pause) I'd like you to bring in adult Kane now.
Take a look at this issue that 16 year-old Kane has with his mother.
That you have with your mother. You can make some kind of
Kane 's Rebellion Revisited 289
realization about this issue. What would you like to tell your 16
year-old self about this?
KANE: Well, Kane, I know this is something you're probably
not going to understand and definitely don't want to hear at this
point in your life, but your mother loves you. She's doing the
best that she knows. Some people have a hard time changing or
accepting the way they are. That's something you'll learn as you
progress through your life. Some people would rather live in a
state of denial than accept or try to change or face their fears.
One of the things you're going to have to accept is that your
mother doesn't know how to change worry into love. She thinks
that worrying is loving and the more you try to make your mother
understand the way you want to be loved, the more she hears that
she's a bad mother. So you' re going to have to learn to be strong
enough to accept your mother for who she is. You have to grow up
and realize that she's not going to change. You're going to have to
be strong enough to change on your own and accept her as who
she is and learn how not to let her disapproval of your decisions
hurt you emotionally.
RANDAL: Good. Now switch and be 16 year-old Kane.
KANE: How do you know?
RANDAL: Find a way to make that into a statement. You have
an opinion about what he just said. Tell him your opinion.
KANE: I think if I explain it, if I try hard enough, that she'll
understand. She'll change.
RANDAL: Be 30 year-old Kane.
KANE: Well, that's what I thought. I've tried and tried. Twenty-
six page letters, heart-to-heart talks that turn into fights, and all I
learned from that is the more I tried to get my mother to change and
accept me for who I am the more defensive she gets. The more self-
righteous she gets the less love I get because of it, which pushes us
farther and farther apart. All that did was create more space, more
distance, more non-love. I'm 30 years-old now and my mother still
doesn't have trust in me and doesn't think that what I'm doing is
right. She doesn't look at me as a success and she doesn't think that
I'm going to end up being successful.
You're 16 and I'm 30. For 14 years you've tried and for 14 years
you've gotten the same result which is not the result you want. The
result you want is to have a good, loving relationship with your
mother. Constantly telling her she needs to change or that she's not
doing it correctly or not giving you what you need is not getting
you that result. So if you'd still like to try to fight, you might find,
as I have found, that it doesn't help anything.
RANDAL: Good. Switch and be 16 year-old Kane.
KANE: (big sigh) I don't want to accept that. It just doesn't
seem fair.
RANDAL: Who said life was always fair?
KANE: It's not.
RANDAL: You just said that you recognize that life is not fair.
Can you accept that it isn't fair?
KANE: Yes.
RANDAL: As you accept that life isn't fair, you hear what
30 year-old Kane is telling you. He's giving you a tremendous
amount of wisdom from years of experience. He even wrote a 26
page letter trying to change your mom, just like she's been trying
to change you. You're hearing the experiences that 30 year-old
Kane, this person who has lived almost twice as long as you now,
is sharing with you. What do you want to say to him in response
to that?
KANE: I will try my hardest to always accept others for who
they are and understand ...
RANDAL: Let's take that a step further and instead of saying
"I'll try my hardest to accept others for who they are," say "From
this time forward I'm accepting others for who they are."
KANE: From this time forward I will accept others for who
they are and only focus on myself, because that's the only person
you can change.
RANDAL: "The only person that I can change."
KANE: The only person that I can change. From understanding
what you told me I realize that the best way to get other people to
change is to change yourself. To become the best you that you can
be, and then hopefully others will look at you as an example.
RANDAL: Excellent. Sixteen year-old Kane is getting a lot of
wisdom now.
KANE: The more I try to get my teachers to change and
understand my point of view the more defensive they become and
the more they don't like me or like to be around me. Then they try
to punish me or change me and that just creates more pain.
RANDAL: The part of you that is a teenager is gettinglhat very

deeply now, is recognizing that it doesn't work. The wisdom of
your adult self is really penetrating the part of you that has wanted
to be right about this and to rebel. You're recognizing deep down
that it just doesn't work. If a teacher says that 10% is all of the
grade that's devoted to homework he has no right to fail someone
for not doing homework, but that's what is done in the real world.
Your purpose in life is not to set yourself up as an underdog to get
people who are fixated in unfair ways to change. You have much
bigger and better and more fun things to do in your life. This is
a good place to bring in what Perls called the Gestalt Prayer. So
please repeat it after me, and you can think about your mother in
particular as you say this. "I am I and you are you."
KANE: I am I and you are you.
RANDAL: "I do my thing and you do your thing."
KANE: I do my thing and you do your thing. (Kane begins
crying softly as he speaks)
RANDAL: "I am not in this world to live up to your
expectations."
KANE: (sobbing and choking out the words) I am not in this
world ... to live up to your expectations.
RANDAL: "And you are not in this world to live up to mine."
KANE: (sobs) And you are not... in this world to live up to
mine.
RANDAL: "If by chance we find each other it's beautiful."
KANE: If by chance we find each other it' s beautiful.
RANDAL: "And if not it can' t be helped."
KANE: And if not it can't be helped.
RANDAL: See your mother in front of you and wish her well.
KANE: I love you.
RANDAL: Good. Does your mother say something in
response?
KANE: She loves me too. (sobbing quietly)
RANDAL: Yes, she does. Say goodbye to her for now.
KANE: Goodbye Momma.
RANDAL: Can you hear her saying goodbye to you for now?
KANE: Yes.
RANDAL: Okay, saying goodbye and sending her on her way
with your blessings. Accepting who she is. You've spoken some
great words of wisdom, Kane, about who your mother is and who
you are and what you've been doing and what needs to be done.
You are doing yourself a real favor, and also your mother, for letting
go and accepting her for who she is. And accepting others for who
they are. Going back to school now is not going to be about being
right or making a point or rebelling. You've got good things to do. You'll
have some fun and learn some things and expand your horizons.
You'll have a wonderful time going back to school. You have
everything going for you. I think you even have an extra advantage
in going back because you don't even need to. You're doing well in
your work and you like it. You're returning to school for yourself.
You're doing it to have some good experiences that you didn't
allow yourself to have before. It's going to be wonderful. You're
not doing it for your mother or anyone else. You're not doing it for
your work, although who knows what kinds of possibilities in the
future may open up for you.
You can see yourself winning and being successful in so
many different ways in school. You can be successful by paying
attention in class, something that you are very good at. You can
be successful by doing your homework, something that in the
meantime you have become very good at. For example, you've
been outstanding in this class in doing your homework. ·And you
can be successful at making friends and meeting people. You can
be successful by setting out your goals and succeeding in them.
You can be successful in getting to class on time and having good
attendance. You can be successful in what you learn and how you
apply it in many different ways to your life and to your work and
to the enjoyment and expansion of your possibilities. You're going
to take it a step at a time and you'll be enjoying it.
You are very bright and intelligent, Kane. And as you are letting
go of that misdirected rebellion it is freeing you up to have a good
time, to enjoy learning and to enjoy doing your homework. You also
have a sense of humor in realizing that people don't always make
sense. You can see that. You're learning to accept people for who
and what they are. Maybe they refuse to understand something
but you have far better things to do than to point out or try to help
them to change or be different. Accepting your mother for who
she is, accepting others for who they are, accepting your teachers
for who they are, allows you to be free to go back to school, to
have a great time, and to get good grades overall. That's not the
most important thing in the world, but it's easy for you to get good
grades. You study very well and you learn very well.
Isn't it wonderful to know that in spite of what we can call
failures in school before, being held back and getting F's and
quitting school, that you continued to go forward. You're a fine
coach and you're happy in life. You have ended up being successful
in all the ways that matter. Now you have a chance to go back to
school and be successful in ways that you weren't before. There is
a lot of fun and play and joy in life, and a lot of fun and play and
joy in going back to school.
You are creating a good balance between getting your work
done, being in class, doing your homework, meeting other people,
and taking advantage of your life's experiences. That makes you
that much more of an interesting person for people to get to know.
This is something that you can just relish. You're really looking
forward to going back and you' re going to do very well. (Kane
takes a deep breath) That's right, breathing down into your belly.
Go inside your body. How are you doing?
KANE: I just have ... my whole body is trembling. It's having so
much energy. It feels like ... like I can't get it out. It's stuck in there.
RANDAL: How does that feel?
KANE: It's uncomfortable. It's too much energy.
RANDAL: So how can you release that energy? Do you feel it
somewhere in particular?
KANE: Most of it is in my chest.
RANDAL: Can you describe that energy in your chest a little
more?
KANE: I just want to scream. I'm afraid of how much it is, how
deep it will be.
RANDAL: Go ahead. You can scream.
KANE: (takes a deep breath and lets out blood-curdling screams)
AAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAHHHHHHH! AAAAHHHHHHH!
(there is a pause and then Kane continues screaming deeply and
loudly) AAAAHHHHHHHH! AAAAHHHHHHHH! (Kane stops
and begins crying and moaning)
RANDAL: That's good, feel your body. (Kane moans and cries
uncontrollably for a couple of minutes) It's okay to feel your body.
You're doing fine. Breath down into your belly. (Kane takes a deep
breath) That's good. It's so good to release that. Feel the power of
letting go of it. (Kane is breathing deeply) Go inside your body.
How do you feel inside your body now?
KANE: Much better.
RANDAL: Feel yourself feeling so much freer now after
releasing that. You've got a tremendous amount of life force. You've
got a tremendous amount of energy and love. You' re opening up to
the love that is around you and here for you. You're understanding
more completely now that your mother has limitations that come
from her own past and her own history. Deep down inside she
really loves you very much.
Deep down inside you are open to recognizing that there is a
lot of love in the world for you. And you can give yourself a lot
of love. You can be a good father to yourself, giving yourself the
love that you've always deserved. The fact is that you are open
to receive the love that you sometimes didn't feel back when you
were growing up. You can feel that both from within and from
without. You just trust that because it's there and you'll discover
and re-discover it with each passing day.
For now it's time for you to come back here. I'm talking to
the different ages of Kane. The child, the teenager, the adult, all of
you. You'll continue to grow and develop wisdom and acceptance.
I'm going to begin counting now. Number one, slowly, calmly and
easily returning to your full conscious awareness. Number two,
with each number that I count you become more and more alert,
awake and aware. Number three, feeling more and more rested,
refreshed and invigorated with each number that I count. Taking
your time. Number four, getting ready to open your eyes on the
next number. When you open your eyes you are then fully alert,
awake, aware, refreshed and feeling fine. Coming back, number
five. Take your time. Welcome back. (Kane is crying softly and
Randal leans down to hug him)
KANE: (whispering) Thank you.
RANDAL: (also speaking softly) Very good job. (applause) Go
ahead and make some connections here. Look around and feel the
love that's out there for you.
KANE: (looking around and wiping tears) Thank you.
RANDAL: I'm sure there are some people who will be wanting to
make connections with you at the break. You very much deserve the
break we're going to have right now. You've done plenty of good work.
RANDAL: (after the break) How are you doing?

KANE: Much better.
RANDAL: You look really soft and receptive. It looks like you
got some good TLC during the break.
KANE: Yes.
RANDAL: You just had a very cathartic session with some
powerful emotional clearing work. (to the class) I do want to
remind you that regression doesn't necessarily need to go in an
intense emotional direction. But when an abreactive experience
does happen, when it needs to happen, it's very valuable. (to Kane)
You learned early on that your mother wanted you to live up to her
expectations and that didn't fit for you, and yet you wanted to do
the same thing with her. You also learned to react in a way that
produced a lot of grief for you. You learned to take a lot of your
strong feelings in life and turn them within and it's not good to
keep doing that. It was great that you could really release that and
transform it.
Toward the end it felt like we might have come to a completion
and when I asked you to go inside your body you felt all this energy.
When you first started to describe that, it didn't necessarily mean
that we had to do anything with it. If you had continued with,
"I'm tingling throughout my body and my body is so aware,"
that might have been something to just feel. But it was energy that
really needed to be released. There was a tension behind it. You
needed to do more letting go, which you did very well. Do you
want to make any comments?
KANE: Just that I've realized through the years that a lot of
the things that happened in my childhood had so much control
over my behaviors. Those neural associations are hard to change.
I really tried but some of them hung on and that was one of the
things that led me to take this course, to learn how to do that for
myself as well as for others. There are times when we don't like
how we react but we can't seem to change.
I know that for me there were only two responses when I was
younger. That was fight or flight. I could either fight and let out all
of my emotions or I could hold it all in and flee from it. As far as
with my mother, fight or flight was a lose /lose situation. If those
are the only ways you know to deal with the world, it's constantly
going to be lose/lose. That's another reason I came here, to learn
how to better manage my mind and emotions so I can have that
pause, that time to come up with an intelligent response about

what I'm going to do to deal with a situation to try to create a win/
win for both parties.
I didn't have that when I was growing up. I had a difficult time
when people pushed my buttons. It's hard for me to create that
space. My point is that it turned me into a person who didn' t like
to fight because I realized early that there was no win in fighting.
I would flee instead and hold it in, and that's why all that energy
was there. It's been in there for years. Instead of dealing with a
situation on an intellectual level, I would flee and repress all of
that. I really didn't deal with any of it. It took me years to realize
that fleeing is just as bad, if not worse, than fighting.
RANDAL: And now you're realizing that on a deep
subconscious level as well, that there are directions to go other
than fight or flight.
KANE: I knew that, but when I'd get into situations I'd realize
that I didn't have that ability. I want to keep developing the ability
to have more than two options.
RANDAL: I like that you changed from, "I didn't have that
ability" to "keep developing that ability." You actually had begun
to learn that but there were so many issues of being right and
having knee-jerk responses to situations. You had already come a
long way in life but your subconscious mind needed to get some of
this on a really deep level, a core level, which you've done.
I feel like you have an inner knowing now about letting go of a lot
of those negative early patterns. You can go to college and have a great
time with it and have a chance to do things you didn't do before.
Interview the Next Day

RANDAL: (to class) The session with Kane had a lot of different
elements, including good dialogue, along with some powerful
catharsis. During the Gestalt dialogue, when I asked Kane to
become his mother he came up with something like, "She's being
really loud and upset. I can't hear what she's saying." I could have
kept focusing directly on the impasse with his mother but in this
particular situation I went with a transactional analysis perspective
and had him dialogue with his adult self.
In transactional analysis we look within us to the viewpoint of
the child, the parent and the adult. I had him study the situation
as an adult, and then the adult dialogued with the child within.
That could also be considered a different kind of Gestalt dialogue
that you can use when you've gotten to a stuck place, or you've
completed something else and that feels appropriate. It worked
very well, although it wasn't the only direction we could have
gone at that point. I could have had him dialogue with his body,
for example, or we could have continued to stay with the issue
with the mother. (to Kane) Here you are the next day. How have
you been doing in the short time that has transpired?
KANE: Very good. Obviously there is going to be a lot more
integration and sorting to come.
RANDAL: Yes, including some self-hypnosis. You're well on
your way.
KANE: I'm very much looking forward to starting school in
the fall and doing well and taking charge of my life.
RANDAL: That's great. You've already done so much personal
growth in your life and this session helped you to deal more
thoroughly with some unfinished business. You went far beyond
the issues with your mother and authority figures to get a deeper
understanding of how to work things out more smoothly in
the world. You're sitting here polar opposite. to how you were
yesterday, with the nervousness you were feeling about going
back to school. Now you're at peace about that and looking
forward to it.
KANE: I was really surprised at how much energy I had
actually stored up and repressed. Working through the dialogue
really helped me to reframe the situations of my life and to look at
them from a different perspective. But even at the end I was still
feeling like, what am I going to do with all this energy? I felt like I
was ready to levitate off the ground.
RANDAL: It had really seemed complete. I had moved into
positive suggestions and visualizations for success and then I
sensed it would be good to check it out.
KANE: It helped quite a bit to release that stored up energy.
RANDAL: It's so good to have a safe place where you can do
that without hurting yourself or anyone or anything else. You really
did some clearing out and releasing so you can heal and move on.
KANE: It definitely didn't feel to me like an angry energy, it
was just energy.
RANDAL: Yes, just to let out that pent up energy that you were
so used to containing and holding in.
KANE: Thank you and all of the class for your support.
RANDAL: Thank you.
SARAH: Randal, now I understand what you mean about
why you're smart enough to not get hurt. You didn't hold a pillow
up there for Kane to hit! (she's referring to Kane's considerable
strength) I was thinking surely he's not going to let Kane start
punching on a pillow that he's holding! (laughter)
RANDAL: Actually there wasn't a punching kind of energy in
this case, but if it was I would have figured something out. Biting
the pillow was okay. (more laughter) Thank you, Kane.

RANDAL: Your session a year ago had to do with going
back to school, but it also had to do with your relationship with
your mother and general life processes. What's happened in the
meantime?
KANE: Last year's session was a regression and there were two
main issues. The first was feeling like I was misrepresented as a
student. I especially had some problems with one of my teachers.
The other was that I had a lot of pressure from my mom. I was a
very bright child and she really wanted me to use that to become
a doctor or a lawyer. As a normal teenager I think I rebelled on
more than one level. I refused to learn and built an emotional
block toward learning. Before that I really loved to learn and to
read and it turned into hating to go to school and hating to do
homework.
That stayed with me in my life and was something that wasn't
right. I wanted to learn and to feel good about going to school.
Shortly after our session last year I was hit by a car. It was a serious
accident so I had to redirect my focus from going to school to actually
putting my body back together. I had to learn how to walk and all
of those things, so I haven't been to school yet. Some of what I have
noticed since our session is that my relationship towards my mom
has been ... I've been able to feel more unconditional love towards
her. I also realized that I never really wanted to go to college, yet
I felt I needed to do that in my life in order to achieve a level of
happiness or success.
Part of me also still wanted to make my mom and my step-

dad happy because I knew that if I graduated from college they
would be proud of me. That was the little kid in me that wanted
acknowledgement from them. I wanted them to be proud of me
and I wanted them to love me. I felt that if I completed that task
then they would finally accept me for who I am and love me the
way I want to be loved.
Now I've come to the realization ... I don't have that feeling that
I need to do things my parents want me to do so they'll love me. I
haven't felt that internal pull, like the way I used to feel frustrated
if they were disappointed in my decisions. I just feel confident that
my decisions are right for me. I know where I'm going in my life
and they might not understand it right now, but later on in life I'm
sure they'll see that I am going to be successful. I've realized that I
can't change them, I can just love them for who they are. It's been
a lot easier for me to just love them.
And they don't say so much, "You shouldn't do this" or "You
shouldn't do that" anymore, because we've been through that. I
can still see it in some tension maybe, that on some level they're
sometimes not really connected with me or they don't approve of
me. That would bother me before whereas now it just passes. It's
something that I notice but it's not something that makes me get
frustrated and want to explain things to them or be defensive in
my position. So that's been really good.
My relationship with my mom and my step-dad has been a
lot more rewarding and happy and growing. Integrating, I
guess, would be the correct terminology. This year's been really
great, even though the accident was severe. There were so many
positive things that came out of it and I know my life is going
to be better for it. Here I am, back here in a year and graduating
from Level Five. I'm happy and healthy and ready for the next
challenge. I thank you very much for the session. It's great to
be here.
RANDAL: Thank you. Of course your accident was severe and
you've done a great job in healing from that. I remember that when
you talked about going back to college I knew you were successful
in your work and felt you didn't really need to. Perhaps also the
tremendous shift in your life of recovering from the accident
clarified or developed your perspective. At any rate, even though
300 CATHARSIS IN R EGRESSION HYPNOTHERAPY
the session was framed in part about going back to school, you got
just the kind of healing you needed.
It's very significant that your relationship with your parents
has improved substantially. Having unconditional love doesn't mean
you need to do something that isn't true to yourself. It means that you
love your mom and you're present in the relationship, rather than
trying to get her to love you. You're really coming from your heart
now. You can love your mother without feeling like you have to do
something for her. Your relationship has become much more healthy.
Maybe you'll go to college some day and maybe not. If you feel
like you want to some day I'm sure you'll do really well and have a
good time. The important thing is that you've been able to work on
those underlying issues and clear them out, and that affects your
whole life. You've dealt with the related issues regarding your
relationships, including within, that were so important and you've
freed yourself in those areas.
KANE: I'd like to make one more comment about my accident.
Every doctor that I've been to has been ... I would say uncomfortable,
with how well I healed. And surprised, like it really shouldn't
have happened. A lot of that is due to using my self-hypnosis and
making a commitment inside that this is not going to continue to
affect me in my life. I'm going to heal and I'm going to be strong
and healthy again. I used a few positive affirmations over and over
again after the accident. In my self-hypnosis I would say, "I'm
going to heal ten times faster than the average person." It was like
a mantra. And another thing I would say was, "Once I get through
this I will become stronger than I was before." About a year later
now I can say that I'm just about as strong as I was before and I'm
still continuing to heal. I'd say that next year at this time I'm going
to be stronger than I was before I was hit. So many positives have
come out of the accident.
RANDAL: That's great. Your doctors would probably consider
it mind boggling, inexplicable for you to be where you are now,
not to mention progressing even further from here. You were so
physically mangled in the accident, and on top of that you were an
athletic coach. That was your life. Now to see what you've done for
yourself. I'm not surprised that you did it from your own strong
will and motivation. You were able to tap into the power of your
subconscious through self-hypnosis.
KANE: One of the good things that has come out of this is
that in about ten days I'm going to be taking some pictures with
a professional photographer. I have some pretty horrible pictures
from the accident. All of the ligaments were tom off of my pelvis
and popped wide open. They said I could have given birth to a
16 pound baby. They put a plate in there to put me back together.
There's a lot of scarring. The pictures are being taken so I can show
my clients that if there is something that you really want to do and
you have motivation and faith in your ability, there really is not
much that you can't accomplish. I'm going to use that as a tool to
help people.
RANDAL: This is one of the ways that you are transforming
your accident into a positive thing. It helped make you a better
coach and now you can identify further with your clients. Being
so helpless in the hospital and in bed for all those months, you
can really identify with someone who needs to go a long way. You
deeply realize how much work is involved in that recovery and so
forth.
KANE: Thanks again, Randal. It was great.
RANDAL: Thank you, Kane. I'm really glad to see how well
you' re doing.
CHAPTER 16
Theresa's Abusive Relationships

The Unlovable Child
THERESA: I have a history of abusive relationships in my life.

Despite many years of therapy, this seems to remain a stubborn
problem that is holding me back. I'm 48 and I've worked through
much of my history but my last relationship with a male partner
fell apart because of verbal abuse which could have escalated to
physical abuse if we hadn't broken up. At this point in my life I
find I'm creating ways to avoid opportunities to meet potential
lovers. I really would like a relationship, and this is the one area of
my life that isn't working. I'm focusing all of my energy on dance
and work (Theresa is a therapist), and while this is fine for now, I
would like to have a loving partner I feel safe with.
RANDAL: You've summarized that very well. Is there anything
else you want to add?
THERESA: Yes, briefly. I'm concerned that if I invite a partner
into my life and it becomes abusive again, that I'm going to focus
my energy there. That hurts me in terms of my work in dance,
which is a very important creative outlet for me. I've taken lessons
with rriany teachers and performed for 18 years, and have been
dancing seriously for four years. I don't want this to get in my way,
and yet I want to have a partner as part of my support system.
RANDAL: That's a normal and healthy desire. Has your
history of abusive relationships been primarily verbal or has there
also been physical abuse?
THERESA: Both.
RANDAL: So being beaten in the worst physical cases?

THERESA: Yes.
RANDAL: Tell me about your relationship with your mother
and father when you were a child.
THERESA: They had a physically abusive relationship. I
saw my father hit my mother and put her in a hospital twice. He
was also physical with me and so was she. They were both very
abusive.
RANDAL: Are you referring to spankings or beatings?
THERESA: Spankings, beatings. I have a punctured eardrum
that was a direct result of their abuse. I can't immerse my head
under water, which is a real bummer when I wind surf. I just
make sure I don't fall very much. (laughing) And my mother has
a history of mental illness, bipolar, so that hasn't helped. She's
currently in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship
and in therapy. That's something I realize is hers and I don't have
to involve myself.
RANDAL: Both of your parents were verbally and physically
abusive with you. That's plenty, but was there anybody else from
your childhood that you remember being strongly abusive toward
you?
THERESA: I had a couple of teachers that were abusive. A
second grade teacher and a third or fourth grade teacher. And then
I had one in nursing school and another one as I was finishing
my doctorate. I've had that happen in work situations as well.
More often with female authority figures like teachers, bosses,
supervisors and the like. It's been pervasive.
RANDAL: So you've had abusive history with both females
and males, although it seems that the greatest sense of urgency for
the moment is issues with men. You're not in a relationship right
now but you'd like to be, and that's what brought you here.
THERESA: Right.
THERESA: Yes. (Randal adjusts a mattress on the floor, and
Theresa lies down)
RANDAL: Look at these two finger tips and follow them
as I move my fingers. (Randal's hand moves down in front of
Theresa's face) Follow my fingertips until your eyelids close down.
(Theresa's eyes close) Tum those eye muscles completely loose. I'll
Theresa's Abusive Relationships 305
count from five to one and at the count of one your eyes are stuck
tightly together. Five, sealing together. Four, tighter and tighter
together. Three, two, stuck together. One, go ahead and try to open
them but they're stuck closed. The harder you try the tighter they
lock and seal. When I touch your left shoulder relax, stop trying,
and go deeper. (Randal touches her shoulder)
I'm lifting up your left hand. When I drop your hand into mine
send a wave of relaxation down your body and feel yourself go
much deeper. (Randal drops her hand) I'm going to drop it again
and this time you'll go deeper still. (Randal drops her hand) I'm
dropping it a third time and you'll go deeper still. (Randal drops
her hand) Now I'm going to pull down on your left foot and that
will cause you to go deeper. Take a nice, deep breath. On the exhale,
as I pull down, send a wave of relaxation down your body. (Randal
pulls as Theresa exhales) That's good. Now I'll do the same thing
with the right foot. As you exhale I pull down and you go much
deeper. (Randal pulls as Theresa exhales) That's good.
I'm going to count from three down to one. At the count of
one only your eyelids open and you stay in hypnosis. When you
open your eyes I'll immediately snap my fingers in front of your
face and that will cause your eyelids to close and you to go much
deeper. Getting ready now, three, two, one, opening. (snap) Sleep
now, close your eyes and go much deeper. Again, three, two,
one, opening. (snap) Sleep now, close your eyes and go deeper.
Whenever I snap my fingers and say the words "sleep now" you
close your eyes and go deeper.
This time I'm pushing down on your shoulders and as I do,
that is a signal for you to go much deeper. Take a nice, deep breath.
That's good, Theresa. On the exhale go much deeper. (as Theresa
exhales Randal pushes down) As I rub your shoulders continue to
go deeper. Take another deep breath and on the exhale go deeper
still, way down.
Focus on your breath, breathing down into your belly. I'm
putting your hand on your stomach for a moment and that's going
to cause you to go deeper. Put your attention on your left hand.
I'll ask a couple of simple, obvious questions to test your finger
signals and you can signal with the correct answer. Is the state
we're in known as the state of Louisiana? (Theresa signals with
her thumb) You signaled with your thumb. Your thumb is your
"no" finger. Next question, is the state that we're in right now the
state of California? (Theresa signals with her index finger) You
signaled with your index finger. That is your "yes" finger. You'll
probably find that most or all questions I ask can be answered with
your "yes" or "no" fingers. If you need to communicate something
other than yes or no with your subconscious mind, then you can
signal with another finger on your left hand.
I'd like to remind you that your finger signals are for
information from your subconscious mind as I ask you questions.
I'm not looking for a particular answer. Just give me the answer
that is true for you.
I'm talking now to Theresa's subconscious mind. Theresa, is it
safe and appropriate for you to remember any and all memories
with your conscious mind that have to do with issues regarding
your own verbal and/ or physical abuse? (Theresa's index finger
moves) The answer is yes. Is it safe and appropriate for you,
Theresa, to be open to your emotions and feelings as you recall
experiences that have to do with being physically and verbally
abused? (Theresa's index finger moves) Thank you. The answer is
yes. (to the class) All right folks, put your grounding cords down
and center yourselves.
Theresa, you have within you a tremendous power and
resourcefulness, a tremendous wisdom and love. As we go to
some unpleasant scenes you're going to be able to use all of your
resources effectively so that you can get many benefits from this. I
absolutely trust the power within you. You'll do just fine.
I'm going to count from one to ten. With each number that I count
you'll become more and more aware of the kind of frustration you
felt in your last relationship as it was getting increasingly verbally
abusive and that appeared to be getting borderline physically
abusive. I want you to recall the kind of feeling you had at the
worst time when you made the decision to end that relationship.
As I count from one to ten you stay in hypnosis but become
more aware of that feeling. Feel that feeling, whether it might be
anger or grief or fear or terror. Whatever that feeling is, become
more aware of it with each number. Number one, two, three,
becoming more and more aware of that feeling, that fear, that anger,
that frustration, that grief. Number four, five, six, more and more
aware of that feeling. (Theresa sighs and her breathing becomes
more rapid) Number seven, feeling it in your body, that feeling

that came up the last time you were abused so badly. "Oh no, not
again." Number eight, like the flood gates of a dam, feeling it more
strongly. Number nine, staying there with that feeling. Number
ten. Now I'm going to quickly count backwards as you stay with
the feeling. We're going to go back to an earlier time when you
felt you were getting abused. Ten, nine, eight, going back in time.
Seven, Six, five, going back in time. Stay with the feeling. Four,
three, two, one, you're right there. Stay with it, Theresa. Are you
inside or outside? You can speak.
THERESA: (breathing fast) Inside.
THERESA: Night.
RANDAL: Are you under ten years-old? Yes or no.
THERESA: No. I'm an adult.
RANDAL: How old are you?
THERESA: Forty five.
RANDAL: What's happening?
THERESA: (voice becoming high and intense) I'm arguing
with the man I'm living with.
RANDAL: And how do you feel?
THERESA: He's not hearing me ... and I'm scared.
RANDAL: What are you scared of?
THERESA: Ym scared he's going to hurt me.
RANDAL: You're afraid he's going to physically hurt you?
THERESA: Yes.
RANDAL: What happens? Does he end up physically hurting
you or not?
THERESA: No, I run away. I leave the house. I'm going outside.
It's the middle of winter time and I run outside in the snow.
RANDAL: How does it feel to be outside in the snow in the
middle of winter?
THERESA: Safer than inside.
RANDAL: Are you dressed warm enough?
THERESA: (shivering and distressed) Not really.
RANDAL: Do you stay out there a long time or not?
THERESA: As long as I can.
RANDAL: Because you're getting colder?
THERESA: Yes.
RANDAL: What happens when you go back inside?

THERESA: It starts again. He starts to yell in my face and I go
in the bathroom and shut the door. He's pounding on the door.
(breathing heavily and whispering) He can't get me in there.
RANDAL: I'd like to ask you for an ideomotor signal now.
Pounding on the door is getting physical. Does it get any worse in
this particular scene? (Theresa's index finger moves) The answer
is yes. What happens?
THERESA: (still whispering, voice shaking) He kicks a hole in
the wall.
RANDAL: Does he actually assault you at this particular
time?
THERESA: No.
RAND AL: What is the feeling when he's yelling in your face or
when he's pounding his fists on the door or when he's smashing a
hole in the wall?
THERESA: (breathing fast) Powerless ... can't get out. I'm not
free. Restrained.
RANDAL: Be aware of this feeling of powerlessness. You can't
get out. You're trapped. Stay with that feeling. I'm going to count
from ten down to one and you'll go back to an earlier time in your
life when you were much younger. Some time in your childhood
or possibly as a teenager, when you felt trapped and you couldn't
get out, when you felt powerless. Ten, nine, eight, that feeling of
being trapped. Seven, six, going back to an earlier time. Getting
younger now. Five, four, three, two, one. You're back to an earlier
time. Are you inside or outside? Pick one.
THERESA: I'm inside.
THERESA: Daytime.
THERESA: With others.
THERESA: Yes.
RANDAL: Are you under nine years-old?
THERESA: Yes.
RANDAL: Are you under six years-old?
THERESA: No.
RANDAL: How old are you?
Theresa 's Abusive Relationships 309
THERESA: (in a small, scared voice) I'm seven.

RANDAL: Are you at your house or somewhere else?
THERESA: I'm at my house.
RANDAL: Which room?
THERESA: The bedroom.
RANDAL: Your own bedroom?
THERESA: I share it with my sister.
RANDAL: Who else is in the room with you?
THERESA: My father.
RANDAL: Is there anyone else besides you and your father?
THERESA: No, they're outside the door.
RANDAL: That's the situation. You're in your bedroom and
you're seven years-old. What's happening now? (Theresa begins
to sob) It's okay to cry.
THERESA: He's hitting me and yelling at me. (sobs) He's
hitting me really hard. It hurts so bad.
RANDAL: Where is he hitting you?
THERESA: All... over.
RANDAL: What are you doing? How are you responding?
THERESA: Yelling, "Leave me alone! Stop it! Quit hurting me!
Stop it!" (sobbing) And the more I yell the more he hits me!
RANDAL: Go inside your body. What do you feel?
THERESA: (in a little voice) Terror.
RANDAL: Yes, of course you feel terror.
THERESA: Oh God, it's so scary.
RANDAL: What do you wish you could do?
THERESA: Run!
RANDAL: Okay. The scene is changed now. Find a way you
can get out of there and run. Maybe I can hold him back and you
can run.
THERESA: Okay! Okay!
RANDAL: Run away now. (Theresa calms down slightly) Are
you away from that now?
THERESA: Yes, I am.
RANDAL: We'll do something different now. You're going to
be fine. We'll return to the scene only this time you'll come back
with adult Theresa, this terrific therapist who is right here with
you. You'll find that with adult Theresa you have a lot of power.
You're coming back to the scene and you can even have a powerful
Plexiglas barrier between you and your father. I'm talking to seven
year-old Theresa. You've got big, strong, powerful adult Theresa
with you and you have me here, too, if I'm needed. Okay? You're
seven years-old. Your father has been doing terrible things. He's
been hitting you and beating you. You don't deserve that. What do
you want to tell him?
THERESA: (in a little voice) I want to tell him to stop and leave
me alone.
RANDAL: Say that directly to him.
THERESA: (stronger) Stop it! Leave me alone!
RANDAL: As I touch your shoulder switch and be your father.
What does your father say in response?
THERESA: No, I can't. I'm too mad.
RANDAL: Switch and respond as seven year-old Theresa.
THERESA: (sobbing) I'm only a kid. Leave me alone. I couldn't
have done anything that bad. I couldn't have!
RANDAL: Okay, switch and be your father.
THERESA: I can't control myself. You make me so angry.
RANDAL: Be Theresa.
THERESA: I don't know... I just want you to love me.
RANDAL: What does he say in response?
THERESA: I love you but I don't know how to show you. The
only way I know how to show you is to leave you alone. My whole
life is in turmoil right now. I don't get along with your mother
and I'm too young. I want to do other things with my life. Being a
parent is too big a responsibility for me. I can't handle it. (sobs)
RANDAL: Who are you right now?
THERESA: I'm adult Theresa. I'm looking at this thing and I'm
getting some insight that I didn't have before.
RANDAL: What is that insight?
THERESA: That my father is really a very sad, mixed up
individual. He's screwed up.
RANDAL: That's so true. You couldn't get that when you were
seven. Seven year-old Theresa, see that in your father right now, just
what adult Theresa is seeing. He's a very sad, mixed up person.
THERESA: (still crying softly) I see it but I want him to stop
hurting me. I'm scared of him. I'm scared all men are mean. I don't
want him to be mean. I know other families where kids love their
fathers and their fathers love them. But not in mine.
RANDAL: It's interesting that you say you're afraid all men
could be mean, but you also see other kids whose fathers are
different, aren't they?
THERESA: Yeah, they are.
RANDAL: A lot of kids have good fathers, isn't that right?
THERESA: Yeah, they do.
RANDAL: It's good to be aware of that. Now look at your
father. You're seven year-old Theresa. See him seem to physically
grow smaller. Not necessarily younger, but just smaller. You're
getting bigger and he's getting smaller. Look at him as though
you' re looking at him for the first time and getting these realizations
about him. Seven year-old Theresa, what are you seeing in your
father now?
THERESA: I see that he acts worse than me.
RANDAL: You're only a child and he's acting worse than you.
He's like a child, isn't he?
THERESA: Yeah.
RANDAL: At least now when he's angry it's like he's not
grown up, is that right?
THERESA: Yeah.
RAND AL: It's important for seven year-old Theresa to realize that.
THERESA: Geez, I didn't know that.
RANDAL: What didn't you know?
THERESA: I didn't know that he was acting like a kid.
RANDAL:That'sright.There'ssomethingthatisveryimportant
here that adult Theresa has discovered and now seven year-old
Theresa is getting it, too. There were certain misconceptions you
got when you were very young, from the terrible way your parents
were treating you at times, that have been continuing to affect
you in your life until now. When you get a realization about what
misconceptions you got about the world or yourself, you can signal
with your "yes" finger. (Theresa signals) Okay, when I touch your
shoulder communicate about that misconception. (Randal taps her
shoulder)
THERESA: Well, I believed that I was a bad person, that nothing
I did was right and that I was unlovable. I didn't know that people
could treat each other nicely, that they could love each other, and
that that was really honestly true. I did see it in other people in the
way they treated each other but I couldn't see it for me.
RANDAL: So at some level you did realize that it was true for
some people but it did not feel true for you. You felt that you were
unlovable because of the way you were treated.
THERESA: Yes.
RANDAL: And that you couldn't do things right. Some part of
you felt like you must deserve this because this was what you were
getting. Is that what you felt or something different?
THERESA: Yes, and that I was stupid. My daddy would say,
"You don't know from nothing."
RANDAL: You're saying this within the context of giving
misconceptions. Does that mean you recognize now that you
weren't stupid? That just because your father said it, that didn't
mean it was true?
THERESA: Yes.
RANDAL: This is so important. You're doing great.
THERESA: I'm not stupid. I figured something out. They just
didn't want me to figure it out because it would have messed up
their program. (Theresa bursts into laughter)
RANDAL: Good for you. Laughter can be cathartic. Seven year- .
old Theresa and five year-old Theresa and three year-old Theresa,
you were too young to know that at the time. You created mental
expectancy. Do you see that you blamed yourself but it wasn't
your fault? That you believed the terrible things they said? You
believed you must be a bad person, that you couldn't do things
right, that you were unlovable. You can see how you got those
misconceptions. Can you forgive yourself for having developed
those misconceptions?
THERESA: Yes.
RANDAL: I bet you can. How would you feel if a seven year-
old girl came into your office and was getting treated that way?
What would you want to say to her?
THERESA: I would want to say that it's not your fault. You're
not a bad person. You know right from wrong. You don't make
yourself wrong because you feel something is wrong.
RANDAL: Great, now you're talking to yourself. Say that to
yourself.
THERESA: (starting to sob) Theresa, I want you to know, to
realize and believe after all these years and all the journeys you've
been on, all the lessons you've learned and are still learning, that
you are not wrong. Your feelings are right. You know now because
you've had training in helping other people to trust their feelings.
It's okay for you to trust your feelings. ·
RANDAL: Be seven year-old Theresa and take it in. Feel adult
Theresa holding you. Tell her how you feel about what she's telling
you.
THERESA: (sobbing quietly) I'm so glad somebody
understands. I'm so glad somebody does love me.
RANDAL: The most important person in the world that can
love you is yourself, is adult Theresa. Take it in. Feel her love for
you 100 percent. You deserve that. You always deserved that. What
you got wasn't fair and that's too bad, but you can get the good
love you deserve now. Seven year-old Theresa, you deserve to
have all that love. It's right here for you. You can give it to yourself
and you deserve it. It's so important that you understand that now
deep down. (to the class, and indirectly to Theresa) This is beyond
intellectual, this is a subconscious understanding. She's getting it
on a deep level right now.
(to Theresa) You're beginning new patterns of treating yourself
in a loving way, and as you treat yourself in a loving way you
discover loving things happen. I'm going to do a little bibliotherapy
with you. I have a wonderful book here by Cheryl Canfield called
Peace Pilgrim's Wisdom. It's a compilation of quotes from Peace
Pilgrim. Have you heard of her? She's called a genuine American
saint who walked for 28 years for peace, starting in 1953. There are
365 sayings in this book and I've been reading one each day. I'll
read the saying that I read today: "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it
and it smiles back at you." There are so many ways to say it. What
we put out we get back.
Theresa, it's time for you now to put out good expectations.
As you expect to be loved, you are loved. You deserve love. You
deserve good things. You deserve to be treated with respect. Your
subconscious mind is opening up to that reality more each day
from now on. You'll continue to develop that reality by being good
to yourself, by being loving toward yourself, and by practicing self-
hypnosis daily. Are you willing to make a commitment to practice
self-hypnosis for at least a few minutes each day or evening for at
least the next month? (Theresa's index finger moves) The signal is
yes. Thank you. Starting new habits.
You have just cut some very important links. Part of the breaking
of those links is getting some realizations deep in your heart and
your soul that it wasn't your fault. Even if you intellectually knew
that before, you're understanding it at a deep level now. Your father
was someone who had grown up in some ways and not in others.
When he let loose like that he wasn't being an adult and he wasn't
being fair. You deserved much better and you didn't know that at
the time. On some level you knew that you hadn't done anything
that bad but some part of you felt it must be your fault because it
was your father or your mother doing this.
Now you deeply recognize, Theresa, that this wasn't your
fault. You are lovable. (Theresa giggles) You really deserve love.
You deserve to be treated nice. You saw that all those other kids
were getting treated nicely but it was so distant for you. What you
expected was what you were getting. That became a habit that you
created. You don't need to do that any more. "As a child I saw
through a glass darkly. As an adult I let go of childhood things."
You giggled a moment ago. What was that about?
THERESA: (giggles again) Well, it was just that I always
thought childhood was supposed to be a time to be carefree and
protected and safe and I'm learning that as an adult. It's a long
time coming.
RANDAL: Yes, it's a long time coming but it's all the more
sweet because you can appreciate and enjoy it that much more
profoundly. What happened was sad and unfair but ironically,
because of all your struggles and all you suffered, it makes the
beautiful things in the here and now that much sweeter. You've got
a lot of good things coming your way, and you can fully appreciate
these good things more than ever.
Boy, there are some good quotes that I've been reading in this
book these last few days. (laughter) Here's one on the same page
and look at this from the big picture, Theresa. It may be hard to
see from a small picture, but from a very big picture, imagine that
this is in some ways an orderly universe and that the suffering that
comes to us can have a purpose in our lives, can teach us something,
and we can look for its lesson. Here is the quote: "Every experience
is what you make it and it serves a purpose. It might inspire you,
it might educate you, or it might give you a chance to be of service
in some way." Rather than me telling you, let's have adult Theresa
Theresa 's Abusive Relationships 315
come up with what you can do with those difficult things that
happened. How can you use that in your life now? When you get
a realization signal with your "yes" finger. (Theresa signals) Go
ahead.
THERESA: I want to take this as a reminder that I am as lovable
as anybody else and that it's okay for me to accept love. I've given
love, and sometimes given it where it wasn't deserved. And I don't
need to do that any more. It isn't necessary. It just feels great.
RANDAL: That's wonderful. We can use the challenges
that come into our lives to make or break us. We can use them
in positive or negative ways. You can take these experiences and
make yourself a stronger person. In fact, I respect you very much,
Theresa. I think part of what has made you the terrific therapist
you are, is that you've used the struggles you've had to develop
an empathy and insight that helps you be so powerful in working
with people. Until now your subconscious hadn't fully realized
that it really wasn't your fault. You don't deserve abuse in your
relationships. Deep down you now know that you really deserve
good things. This is tremendously liberating for you. It's going to
have more of an effect every day. Every day you are feeling lighter
and more free and more joyous. I want you to use your tremendous
therapeutic capabilities, along with the added insight you have
now which makes you incredibly powerful, to do the best therapy
in the world for yourself. Do you agree to do that?
THERESA: Yes.
RANDAL: You deserve a bunch of really good things. You're
going to treat baby Theresa and seven year-old Theresa and
adult Theresa and all the Theresas in-between, wonderfully. All
the different parts of you can now live so fully, so completely, so
joyously, that you can get more satisfaction out of a day than a
lot of people get out of a week or a month. Pay attention. Give
yourself time to nurture yourself, to do good things for yourself, to
have fun and to socialize. Be seven year-old Theresa now. Is there
anything anybody in the class would like to say to seven year-old
Theresa?
MARY: Welcome to love, Theresa.
GEORGE: We love you, Theresa.
SUSAN: Theresa, you're so beautiful. Will you be my friend?
JANET: Do you want to go out and play?
RANDAL: (Theresa is grinning) Just take it in. Some of them

may say some more things later. Theresa, you're waking up this
time to a different world. There's been a shift and it makes sense in
every way. You know that there are many people who have good
relationships and you are now one of those many people. Welcome
home. You deserve this respect and honor. You're as important as
anybody in the world. Feel yourself wide open. Breathe down into
your belly. Feel yourself light and free. Nice, deep, slow breathing.
Is there anything further you would like to say or ask for before I
bring you out of the hypnosis? (Theresa signals yes) Go ahead.
THERESA: I just want to remember that this is the way the
world is.
RANDAL: You'll always remember. You've had a core
experience, an imprint inside your heart and your mind. You
know, you feel, you sense, you've got it. This is the way the world
is. What's happening is that those other experiences are continuing
to fall by the wayside. There may be times when you temporarily
forget but then the feeling and the memory and the awareness
comes back. It's easy. You keep tipping the scales back to the way
things really are, and the way things really are for you is a world
that is full of love and respect.
There may be occasional times for all of us that we get some
of the other stuff but that's not really where it's at. You're finding
yourself letting go of the charge on those other things and coming
back to this love that permeates and is really around us all of the
time. You're coming back to this as the reality that is your home.
One of the ways you continue to accelerate this process is by
practicing your self-hypnosis each day.
I'm going to count from one to five and at the count of five
you open your eyes and are then fully awake. Number one, slowly
and calmly beginning to come back. Number two, more alert and
aware with every number. Number three, coming back to a whole
new beautiful world. Number four, getting ready now. Five, open
your eyes and look out at the beautiful world.
Commentary
As a reminder, the post-hypnotic suggestions are not naive
proclamations that there will be no problems anymore and that
everything will be perfect. Rather, this is a golden opportunity for
positive mental expectancy at a particularly receptive moment for

the subconscious, which can help such visions feel more familiar
and natural, and to become more expected and easily accepted.
The directive and fast-moving style I used from the beginning
of this session fit for Theresa and her presenting issue. It wouldn't
necessarily fit for everyone. The class Theresa was in included
another student who had discussed her struggles from abuse in
class. The energies of the two students were very different from
each other. Theresa felt to me like a fighter. She was a frank,
energetic, take-charge person, who exuded confidence. The other
student was very soft-spoken and delicate, and quite fearful and
sensitive regarding her issues of abuse. If I had worked with the
other woman, I would have used a more permissive style from the
beginning, developed a longer preinduction interview, and given
considerable healing imagery during and after the induction.
Depending on the development of the preinduction interview, I
may well not have even gone in a direction to potentiate emotional
clearing regression as an option in an initial hypnosis with her.
Theresa Writes One Year Later

Here are portions of her letter, accompanied by a wedding
invitation:
You see? Miracles really do happen! The work we did last year
worked. It's a long story that I'll have to tell you in person, but
how Mike and I met includes a strong past life connection. I had a
spontaneous regression about 5 months after we met where I got
some tremendous insight into how we met and why.
Mike is a very spiritual person. (Thank goodness!) And very
creative - he paints watercolors, makes samurai swords, teaches
Feng Shui, gardens... and works in a body shop during the
day. I just received my part-time Assistant Professor of Human
Development.... My practice is growing ... and I'll be going to part-
time in nursing starting in August. Things are coming together
and as ever, I am very busy! Mike and I are looking at submitting
proposals to teach workshops together. In fact, we have done some
team teaching at his classes, and consultations as a couple.
We hope you can come to our wedding. We'd love it!
CHAPTER 17
Regarding Past Life Regression
Among a variety of major functions, the subconscious mind

stores a vast warehouse of our memories and their associations.
When the subconscious is accessed through hypnosis, long-
forgotten memories or details can be brought back. Hypnosis can
be used to solve various kinds of mysteries or to find lost valuables.
Quite fascinating to some is the "recovery" of memories that may
appear to come from the self, but from a very different time or
place - a life experienced prior to this lifetime.
The Theory of Past Life Regression

and the Value of Metaphor
Past lives therapy is a controversial subject that is often
scoffed at by the scientific community and many hypnotherapists,
but embraced and in some cases specialized in by other
hypnotherapists. A large percentage of the world's population
believes in past lives (especially among those whose religions
teach it), and many millions more consider it a possibility. From
the point of view of some religions and philosophies, the energy
of an individual soul incarnates and reincarnates for the purpose
of healing, learning lessons, service and finding balance. Some
theorize that during hypnotic regression work the vivification of an
energy that is affecting an individual in this life - that perhaps has
no known foundation or origin in this life - may arise (sometimes
spontaneously) as an apparent past life memory. For the sake of
simplicity, when I speak of past lives I am referring to any one of
the possible explanations for such recollections.
The importance of exploring this subject as regression does not

lie in attempting to prove or disprove the validity of past lives.
There are many avenues of thought in addition to reincarnation
that give alternative explanations about what can appear to be past
life memories. The subconscious is the seat of the imagination and
it's easy to fantasize during hypnosis. Some such "memories" can
form, especially during hypnotic states, as a subconscious metaphor
for an aspect of one's life and/ or incidents or identifications from
childhood, in some cases consciously forgotten. Unconscious
associations with television, a movie, a book, a consciously
forgotten story, a dream, or a combination of factors can develop
into a metaphorical fantasy.
There are also those who have claimed proof of reincarnation in
the examples of special cases in which a subject speaks in the ancient
dialect of a foreign language never learned in this life. However,
even such exceptional occurrences can be given various kinds
of theoretical explanations, including cellular memory, tapping
into the collective unconscious, or even a psychic connection to
an actual experience that occurred to someone in the past. There
may sometimes be logic in past life association although it can
also be seen as consistently metaphorical. Whether the inductor
or inductee believes in reincarnation as a given reality or
possibility or not, the metaphoric value need not be overlooked
or undervalued.
Reincarnation cannot be proved or categorically disproved.
Yet even if you discount the theory altogether, that doesn't in itself
invalidate all past life therapy. We can compare past life therapy in
this respect with dreamwork. As I discussed in my book, Become
the Dream, and in the first volume of this set, at the time a dream
occurs it is reality to the subconscious mind. Dreams are ways
that the subconscious mind metaphorically pieces together and
attempts to cope with and integrate our experiences in the world.
During Gestalt dreamwork and Hypnotic DreamworkTM we fully
accept the dream as reality. Reliving the dream therefore is a
form of regression and such therapy with subconsciously created
metaphors can be profoundly effective. When imagery of a past
life, either expected or not, occurs during hypnotherapy it is at least
a metaphor for current life issues. That is sufficient for therapy that
can be extremely effective and valuable.
Regarding Past Life Regression 321
In addition, a past life regression may more easily enable

some people to work on healing a difficult issue in life. In some
cases it may be easier to face something apparently caused in
another lifetime, rather than facing the vividness of a current pain
or personal details of a consciously known or blocked trauma
from early life. Even if something is presented in metaphorical
form, it can have the same healing effect. This is not meant as a
proclamation that all past life memories that occur in regression
are certainly only metaphors. Rather, I'm pointing out that when
work in age or past life regression is metaphorical, it can still be
exceptionally effective.
Therapeutic processes with past life regression are generally
essentially the same as with age regression. Both books in this set,
in their entirety, are relevant to past life regression. Any therapist
specializing in past life regression will find unique and valuable
material throughout this Regression Hypnotherapy series that
is very relevant to doing past life regressions. The following
chapters on past life regression are also further important
examples for therapists who are developing age regression
skills.
Exploring the Possibilities

In an interesting twist, I had a session with a student who felt
she had an unreasonable fear of the ocean. Her family liked being
around water, including snorkeling in the ocean, which made her
feel left out. Since she couldn't find any trigger or explanation
from her current life experiences she wondered if she might have
drowned in a past life. With very careful non-leading ideomotor
questions, she signaled that there was a psychological or emotional
issue that had been metaphorically translated into a fear of water.
Though there may have been a hint of a possible past life event,
the deep underlying issue that came up, and was obviously the
crucial issue overall, had to do with a sense of abandonment in this
life that began in her infancy. As her signals indicated, the most
important direction to pursue was that energy of abandonment.
After a thorough session, she remarked that she had felt some
conscious resistance at first in exploring the abandonment issue. A
part of her wanted to avoid that and was thinking, "Let's explore
something like past lives. That would be kind of interesting and
then we won't have to deal with that image of my husband and the
boys (swimming away from me)."
At other times the affecting issue may be related to events in
the person's current life and also could theoretically lead back
to a previous life memory. As one client put it regarding her
fear of public speaking, "It feels like something more is there
than whatever particular memories I have." In her preinduction
interview she spoke of almost feeling paralyzed when it came
to speaking in public or even "speaking up" for herself. She also
gave an example of a traumatic event in her early life. After the
induction I set up ideomotor signals and soon asked her, "Is there
at least one significant incident prior to that experience that has to
do with difficulty for you regarding public speaking?" She signaled
yes. Eventually, questioning led to, "Does this major fear that
comes up regarding speaking have to do with at least one incident
before the age of one year old?" She signaled yes. Continuing the
questions, I asked if the initial major incident happened after the
time of her birth. She signaled no. I asked if it had to do with her
birth experience. She signaled no. I then asked if the initial major
incident having to do with her difficulty speaking occurred when
she was in the womb. She signaled no.
Whenever a client indicates a possible past life experience I
generally explore a wide range of possibilities before checking
in about something more unusual or extreme. (This is similar to
and consistent with checking in neutral ways during uncovering
work about potential trauma.) I asked about various possibilities
first before going to the question, "Does the initial major incident
having to do with the fear of speaking come from a previous
life experience?" She signaled yes. From there we proceeded
with a careful exploration that led to a dramatic apparent
past life recollection. The energy of that fear was captured in
her recollections, and the therapy in that context helped her to
overcome her fear.
My regression work almost always has to do with age
regression rather than past life regression. If I lived in a culture
with common religious beliefs of reincarnation, surely a much
higher percentage of my clients would regress to past lives. But
even here in the United States, there are a substantial minority
of therapists, and people in general, who feel that when we have
Regarding Past Life Regression 323
issues in this life it is likely to be tied into a past life experience. I

assume, unless contraindicated, that when the client returns to a
major event or events in this life (often at least including an initial
sensitizing event), that the crucial events in this life will be exactly
where we need to go. That gets consistently confirmed toward the
conclusion with ideomotor signals that there is no further major
previous trauma regarding the issue, and working within this life
has consistently yielded successful results. However, when I'm
regressing someone or checking for further experiences, I'm not
usually suggesting to go back to an earlier experience in this life,
just to return to an earlier experience. If someone spontaneously
has an apparent past life regression I can be receptive. Or if a new
client strongly suspects a past life connection, I will encourage the
person to be receptive and open to however the therapy develops,
but will begin with a discussion of current life issues.
Understanding Suggestibility Factors

It is essential to be neutral in the recovery or exploration of
any memory. If a client has initiated interest about past lives or
a possible past life memory, a regression might include an affect
bridge to tap the person into the feeling that is being explored
and return to an initiating event, wherever that leads, rather thart
regress the person specifically to a past life. The regression sessions
of the following chapters are good examples of the affect bridge
leading to an apparent past life, whether or not it's expected. When
a client does seem to experience a past life regression I accept it as
part of the reality within the subconscious, as I accept the reality of
a client's dream.
In the recovery of any kind of memory, we cannot expect an
exact movie or snapshot of an event. Memory, recalled in or out
of hypnosis, can be influenced by other memories or dreams or
various expectations, associations, perspectives, projections and
fantasies. What we deal with is the energy of those memories and
the ways in which a person has projected them onto his or her
current life.'
Inherent in hypnosis is the suggestibility factor. Therapists
must always use the utmost care to avoid leading a client regarding
memories or past life associations. This includes communication
in which there has been no formal induction of hypnosis. People

who are highly suggestible can be manipulated into creating
a memory by a well-meaning therapist using inappropriate
methods. If a therapist were to express the idea that past life
memories can be uncovered and then suggest, "Let's use hypnosis
and find out if this issue originated in a past life," that could elicit
a spontaneously created past life visualization. Fantasies of all
kinds can be easily created during hypnosis. The transcripts in this
book demonstrate the use of effective procedures for revivifying
and enhancing memories without hinting at suggestions for a
particular direction.
CHAPTER 18
Corinna's Self-Destruction
Past Life Regression:
The Annihilation of a Village
RANDAL: Come on up to the hot seat, Corinna.

CORINNA: (Corinna sits next to Randal, laughing) It's going
to get hotter.
RANDAL: What do you want to work on?
CORINNA: I'd like to go to the source of a very strong conflict
within myself that is related to smoking. I have a tendency toward
self-destruction and it plays out in many ways, including a stopping
of my own breath. I quit smoking for about three days and I woke
up feeling incredible. On that day I just kept feeling better and
better. That morning I was sitting and meditating and this voice
came out and said, "The war is over," and a flood of emotions came
with it. It kept going and going and it was a beautiful experience.
RANDAL: When did this happen?
CORINNA: It was just last week.
RANDAL: Elaborate about your feelings when that voice
came.
CORINNA: It was powerful and very beautiful but all of
a sudden I started seeing a familiar area of conflict. I can relate
it back to my early childhood. There was always conflict in my
family, although I'm totally at peace with my family now. I started
to see scenes that have come in other regressions and even in other
deep therapeutic work. I've had flashes of past lives and it was
always at a time when I was dying. During the times I was dying
it was always because my village and even my culture was being
annihilated. In those experiences, even though there was a lot of
catharsis in the remembrance of these things, there was a kind of
calm to it. When this voice came out so clear that the war was over
there was so much energy with it. It was very powerful. But still
there is that underlying current of internal conflict.
RANDAL: Some of the key ideas of what you're working on are
a tendency toward self-destruction, internal conflict and familiarity
with conflict. Of course quitting smoking is important but there
are even bigger related issues you're dealing with, including a
struggle to fully manifest your potential for abundance.
CORINNA: Oh, yes.
RANDAL: Are there any other phrases you can use? I take it,
for example, that the self-destructive part of you causes you to
go back to smoking. I'm wondering if you can elaborate on that
or give me more specifics. Are you sabotaging yourself? Are you
punishing yourself? What is going on?
CORINNA: Well, both of those. I experienced it especially in
the last retreat I did. It was a long retreat in silence and isolation
and there was a recurring theme of exile and annihilation.
RANDAL: This was for how long?
CORINNA: Twenty one days.
RANDAL: Did you create this for yourself or participate as
part of a group?
CORINNA: By myself. I've done retreats before with other
people meditating in the same building, but it was much easier to
come into it completely alone. It was very powerful in that sense.
Much deeper stuff came up.
RANDAL: Was this retreat in recent months?
CORINNA: Yes, in December.
RANDAL: Three months ago. What came up during that
time?
CORINNA: What kept coming up was a feeling of giving up,
like withdrawing and not making an effort toward the things I
love and value and not seeing them fully realized. If you look at
my life it seems utterly absurd because I'm doing quite well. Yet
it's something that nags me very deeply. It shows up especially
in intimate relationships. I broke up from a 14 year relationship a
Corrina's Self-Destruction 327
couple of years ago and a lot of this stuff started to come up then,
which I was grateful for.
RANDAL: So you have a tendency to move away from things
that you love.
CORINNA: Defeating myself before I even get going. Very
often I get really quiet and can organize and articulate and envision
things, and the minute I go into action it just disintegrates. Not
with everything, but with things that are really original. I have
an incredible fearfulness. I start to move into ... it's almost like a
vacuum. Suddenly the energy is taken out of it and I'm literally
convinced that this thing that takes the energy away has a life of
its own. It's buried in the unconscious somewhere. It's a tape or a
programming and something happens.
During the retreat I became aware of two things. There were
some things I would go into that were quite painful and I'd just
go with them, witnessing and staying meditative and they would
transform into very beautiful places. And there were other things
that I couldn't get access to.
RANDAL: Was there a specific feeling you can recall or was it
associated with a memory?
CORINNA: A feeling. I couldn't get any images or anything
around it. It was just a very powerful feeling. It doesn't have an
emotional name to it.
RANDAL: Would you describe it in the best words you can?
What is it somewhat similar to?
CORINNA: It's actually annihilation.
RANDAL: Okay. I'd like you to switch chairs now. You can
move into this nice, comfortable chair here. (Corinna switches
chairs) When you do ideomotor signals do you use your right
hand or your left hand?
CORINNA: Either one. (Corinna's left hand moves) My left
hand moved so I guess that's the one. (laughing)
RANDAL: Please rest your hands on your thighs. Go ahead
and look at my fingertips and follow my fingers as they move
toward you. Follow them until your eyelids close down. (Randal
moves his hand down in front of Corinna's face and her eyes close)
That's good. I'm going to count from three down to one. When I
get to one try to open your eyes but the harder you try the tighter
they lock and seal and the deeper into hypnosis you go. Three,
stuck tightly together. Two, sealing together. One, go ahead and

try to open them but they're stuck together. When I touch your
left shoulder relax, stop trying and go deeper. (Randal touches her
shoulder and Corinna relaxes)
All right. I'm lifting up your left hand by the thumb. Let your
hand hang loosely and limply in mine. As I drop your hand send a
wave of relaxation down your body and go much deeper. (Randal
drops her hand) Now I'll do the same thing with your right hand.
Let your hand hang loosely and limply in mine and when I drop
it send a wave of relaxation down your body and feel yourself go
much deeper. (Randal drops her hand) That's very good. Going
deeper with every easy breath that you take. As you breathe in
you are breathing in prana, the life force . As you exhale you are
releasing any cares and tensions and going deeper.
Now I'm putting the thumb and forefinger of your right hand
together. Imagine that I'm placing a powerful epoxy glue there
that is causing them to become absolutely stuck together. (Randal
uses the right hand for this hypnotic test because the left hand will
probably be the focus of the ideomotor signals) I'm going to count
from five down to one and at the count of one you'll try to pull
your thumb and finger apart. The harder you try the tighter they
squeeze together and the deeper into hypnosis you go. Number
five, four, stuck together. Three, two, stuck together. One, go ahead
and try to separate your fingers but they' re stuck together until I
snap my fingers. When I snap my fingers you'll find that the glue
instantly dissolves, your thumb and finger separate and you go
twice as deep. (Randal snaps his fingers and Corinna's fingers relax)
Taking away any sensation of the glue. As I stoke your fingers and
hand you feel that relaxation spreading throughout that area and
throughout your body.
Continue to focus on your breathing as I lift up your left leg.
Let it hang loosely and limply in my hand. When I drop your leg
into my other hand, which will catch it, feel a wave of relaxation
move down your body and go much deeper. (Randal drops her
leg) That's good. I'm going to do the same thing with your right
leg. As I drop it send another wave of relaxation down your body
and go much deeper. (Randal drops her leg) Good.
Now as I push down on your shoulders with my hands send
a wave of relaxation down your body. Take a nice deep breath and
Corrina 's Self-Destruction 329
fill up your lungs. On the exhale feel yourself go much deeper.

(as Corinna exhales Randal pushes down) That's very good. Way
down, way down.
All right, Corinna, focusing on your breathing. Feel yourself
going deeper inside with each breath. As you go deeper yol,l are
going toward your Source, with a capital S. Toward your soul.
Toward the essence of who you are. Who you are is an old soul
who has come a very long way. You have had many experiences in
the life of your soul. A whole range of experiences. You have found
creative and healing ways to transcend many great difficulties.
You have been communicating about some unfinished
business. As you tap into the essence and the Source of you, you are
tapping into your entire history of power, your ability to heal, your
creativity, insights, awareness and consciousness .. As Fritz Perls
said, we are much greater than our wildest dreams. I'm encouraging
you to allow yourself to let every easy breath bring you closer to
the essence of you, to tremendous power, intelligence, awareness,
consciousness, compassion. There are so many aspects of yourself
that you'll now use to help you to shed certain overlays, certain
experiences that haven't been completely dissolved. I call on that
Source to signal properly from deep within your subconscious,
from your superconscious, with certain information as we get
underway so that we can best achieve these goals and allow them
to manifest.
Tune in now to the hand that your subconscious mind would
like to use for finger signals. A certain finger is your "yes" finger.
See, hear and feel the word "yes" in your mind until a certain
finger begins to lift and rise. (Corinna's index finger on her left
hand moves) Your index finger is your "yes" finger. (Randal taps
the finger) Now see, hear and feel the word "no." Keep thinking
and hearing the word "no" until a certain finger begins to lift up.
(Corinna's thumb moves and Randal taps it) This is your "no"
finger. I'm adjusting your hand slightly. (Randal moves her hand
to her thigh, palm down)
I'll ask your inner mind, the deeper essence of you, a question.
It has to do with the recall of memories. The question is this: Is it
safe and appropriate for you to recall any and all memories that
have to do with such feelings as annihilation and defeat and major
conflict? (Corinna's index finger moves) You have signaled yes.
Next question for your inner Source. Is it safe and appropriate

for you to be open to your emotions as you recall any and all
memories having to with these kinds of issues? (Corinna's index
finger moves) You have signaled yes.
Feel your center. Feel yourself knowing that you are about to go
somewhere very challenging, but you have great support around
you and great support within you. Gathering your support, here
we go. You're going to do great. In a moment I'll begin to count
from one to ten. As I count upward you stay in hypnosis but you
tap into feelings of annihilation and major defeat. Tapping into
those feelings that you know very well.
Number one, beginning to tap into that feeling of annihilation.
Number two, feeling that feeling. You're going to use that feeling
as a bridge to your experience. Number three, feeling that feeling of
annihilation. Number four, feeling that feeling of defeat. (Corinna
has started breathing very deeply and her mouth is becoming wide
open) Five, feel those feelings. (turning to the class) Everyone,
further ground yourselves. Six, feeling that feeling of annihilation.
Stay with it. Feeling it in your body. Feeling it more intensely.
Seven, eight, stay with it. Nine, on the next number you're right
there with it. (Corinna lets out a loud despairing sob) Number ten,
you're right there. Stay with the feeling. (Corinna is sobbing and
gasping)
I'll count quickly from ten to one. You're going back in time.
Stay with the feeling. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, going back
to an earlier time when you felt annihilation. Four, three, two, one,
you' re there now.
CORINNA: (loudly, in gasps) Ahhhhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhhh.
Ahhhhhhhhh.
RANDAL: Stay with that feeling. It's okay. You can let out any
sounds that you want to. (Corinna is gasping and shaking) Let it out.
CORINNA: Ahhhhhhhhhh. Ahhhhhhhhhh.
RANDAL: That's fine. (Randal takes a tissue and wipes tears
from Corinna's face) Stay with the feeling.
CORINNA: (The sound becomes a very high pitched shriek
and continues) Ahhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh!
RANDAL: That's good. Make that sound. Get it out. Get the
sound out. Get it out. (Randal makes deep "ah" sounds which
Corinna begins to follow, then gradually calms down) I'm
about to ask you some questions. Stay with the feelings. Stay
with the memories. Stay with the experience. Are you inside or
outside?
CORINNA: Outside. Ahhhhhhh.
CORINNA: Ahhhhhhh. It's night. Ahhhhhhh.
CORINNA: (voice shaking) I can hardly see. I can' t see.
RANDAL: It's nighttime and you can't see. What's
happening?
CORINNA: It's big and dark.
RANDAL: What are you feeling?
CORINNA: There's space. I don' t know how to call it feeling.
RANDAL: It's a space feeling.
CORINNA: I've been here. I've been here a lot.
RANDAL: Where is this?
CORINNA: I can' t find the place.
RANDAL: Feel what you feel.
CORINNA: Trembling ... I feel in pieces.
RANDAL: When you say you feel in pieces what does that
mean? Do you feel different things in different parts of your
body?
CORINNA: I have strong feelings but no physical strength.
RANDAL: Stay with your feelings. That's the important
thing. What do you feel right now in your body? Do you still feel
trembling?
CORINNA: My heart is pounding. (sighs)
RANDAL: Breathe deeply and let sound out as you exhale.
(demonstrates) Ahhhhhh.
CORINNA: Ahhhhhh. I've been this far many times.
RANDAL: Stay with your feelings.
CORINNA: Everything starts to disappear and I start to feel
silent.
RANDAL: What position is your body in? Are you sitting or
lying down or standing or what?
CORINNA: It' s hard to find my body.
RANDAL: Do you have a body? I'm asking your finger signals
right now. (Corinna' s thumb moves) You're signaling no. Stay with
the feeling. (Corinna sobs) Let the sounds out.
CORINNA: Ahhhhhhhhhh! (the sound gets very loud, and

then she begins to pant)
RANDAL: You know this place. You've been here many times
before. Stay with the feeling. (there is a long pause as Corinna sobs)
Stay with your grief. It's good to cry. You're getting it out of your
system. You're releasing this. It's good to release whatever you're
feeling right now. (Corinna continues to cry) It's so good for you
to get it out. (pause)
CORINNA: (sobbing loudly) I don't want to come back!
RANDAL: You don't want to come back to your feelings or
you don' t want to come back to somewhere else?
CORINNA: I don't want to come back here.
RANDAL: Where is back here?
CORINNA: I don't want to come back to people.
RANDAL: What is it about people that you don't want to come
back to? Something that happened between you and some people.
It's time to face that. (Corinna is sobbing and choking) You can do
it. (pause) What is it that people have sometimes done to you?
CORINNA: Everyone.
RANDAL: What did everyone do? (Corinna is sobbing and
panting) I'm going to count from ten down to one. At the count of
one you will know if you have the memory or just the knowledge.
You'll know something about what people do that you're afraid
of. (Corinna is moaning loudly) At the count of one you'll become
aware of what it is. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three,
two, one. Feel it.
CORINNA: (moaning and sobbing) I don't want to be part of
it.
RANDAL: Part of what? What are they doing? (Corinna is
sobbing and panting) What do you feel in your body right now?
CORINNA: (choking the words out while sobbing) I feel like I
don't have any energy... I have tons of energy but I can't use it.
RANDAL: It's time to use that energy. Where do you feel your
energy?
CORINNA: In my belly and my throat.
RANDAL: Okay, let's use that energy. Make some noise.
(Corinna has been moaning and now begins to shriek loudly for
several minutes) Get it out. (shouting, then pauses) That's good!
You're getting all that energy out of your system. That's good for
you. (Corinna chokes and gasps and Randal begins to lead her in
short breaths)
CORINNA: Oh, God, there's so much.
RANDAL: All right, you can get more out. Feel it in your body.
What do you feel right now?
CORINNA: Oh, I feel much better.
RANDAL: Where do you feel it right now? The same places or
different?
CORINNA: More in my chest now.
RANDAL: Get that energy out of your chest. Get it out of your
throat, too. (Corinna begins to moan loudly and then shrieks,
breaking into sobs) That's good. You couldn't get it out before but
you' re getting it out now. (Randal lets out loud breaths and Corinna
follows) It's all coming out now. It's dissipating and leaving. You're
releasing it. (Corinna begins shrieking but less sharply than earlier)
That's good ... Stay with it and breathe down into your stomach.
(Corinna gasps for air) Stay with your feelings ... All the time and
space in the world is yours now. (Randal breathes deeply with
Corinna) It's all coming out and you're letting go. You're doing
great.
CORINNA: (crying) I want to know. I want to know.
RANDAL: What do you want to know?
CORINNA: I want to know what it is.
RANDAL: All right. You can go back with some detachment or
you can go back and be in the experience. It's a matter of whether
you want to be in or out of your body when you see what happens.
Finger signal. Do you want to be out of your body when you see
what happens? (Corinna's index finger moves) You signaled yes.
You're going to see this as a hidden observer. You may develop
some strong feelings but through observing that person that was
you. (commentary below discusses this hidden observer) You'll
watch what is happening from a distance. You're not in that body
when it happens.
I'm going to count from ten down to one and when I get to
one it'll begin to open up for you. You see what happened to you
at that time to make you feel like you didn't want to be around
people. Remember, you're watching this. You see this scene from
a distance. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, the scene is beginning to
become clear. You're bringing yourself to that scene but you're
a hidden observer. Five, four, three, two, one. (Randal taps her
forehead) You're starting to see a scene. (Corinna moans loudly
and gasps) It's okay to feel your feelings but you're watching it
from somewhere else. All right, say something about it.
CORINNA: I'm just barely there. I see a house and I know
there's blood everywhere and I don't want to go.
RANDAL: Is the blood in the house or outside the house?
CORINNA: (shrieking) It's around ... it's around!
RANDAL: So you know something about it. Now you have a
choice to find out more or not to find out more about the details of
this scene. Either way is fine. Whatever is best for you. I'm asking
your subconscious. Is this enough detail of this scene? (Corinna's
thumb moves) The answer is no. There is a house and there is
blood around it.
CORINNA: (sobbing) They're people I love.
RANDAL: Are they inside or outside?
CORINNA: (shrieking) They're all my people. (shrieking)
Ahhhhhhhhhh!
RANDAL: Your people. Are your people inside the house or
outside?
CORINNA: Dead ... they're all dead. Ahhhhhhhhhh!
RANDAL: You're watching that scene. Finger signals now. Are
you one of the dead people?
CORINNA: No. No.
RANDAL: So you are alive. Have you been physically harmed
or not?
CORINNA: No. I'm somewhere else. I'm in another country.
I'm not even here. ·
RANDAL: When you say your people are you talking about
your family or your village or what?
CORINNA: (sobbing loudly) My village. They're my people.
RANDAL: Many of them have been killed?
CORINNA: They're all dead.
RANDAL: They're all dead. (Corinna shrieks loudly and sobs)
In the lifetime when this happens, do you come upon this scene?
CORINNA: (sobbing and speaking in gulps) I'm there ... and I
don't go to see them.
RAND AL: Do you come across this annihilation and you see a little
bit and then you don't want to see any more? Is that what happens?
CORINNA: I can feel it all and I don't go there. (sobbing)

RANDAL: You find out some of it and you don't want to find
out anymore. Is that what happens at that time?
CORINNA: I don't want to see them. (shrieks and moans)
RANDAL: That's okay to not want to see them. This is a terrible
tragedy. You don't have to see more of it. You've just lost most or
all of your whole village. There are a lot of people dead.
CORINNA: (sobbing) They're all gone.
RANDAL: What happened is terrible. They all died. This could
be from any number of different causes and I want to be neutral as
we find out. Was it a natural disaster or other people or what?
CORINNA: People.
RANDAL: Did other people kill your people?
CORINNA: Yes. Yes.
RANDAL: On purpose?
CORINNA: Yes. No fucking purpose.
RANDAL: Do you know who these people were who did this?
CORINNA: (Corinna makes several sounds and then says
loudly) I don't care who killed them. I don't care about them.
RANDAL: You don't care who killed them, you just know it
was people. Some people came and killed them and now you have
a feeling that you don't want to be around people. You say you
don't care but you do care. What happened was terrible.
CORINNA: I don't care about my life. It doesn't make sense to
care about my life.
RANDAL: It doesn't make sense to care about your life when
life is treated so carelessly. That's the mistaken lesson you learned
from that experience. (Corinna is sobbing) Let's bring in your
higher self now to help you. She will give you some information
about the decision you made at that time. This experience you saw
was so horrible that you made a decision that if life is going to be
treated like that it's worthless. Something to that effect.
CORINNA: No reason at all. (sobbing)
RANDAL: Listen to your higher self now. What is she telling
you? Higher self, is it true that because of that terrible tragedy her
life is worthless? (pause) What does your higher self say?
CORINNA: (sobbing) Carry on.
RANDAL: She's here with you now. You have some
communication to do with these people who did this terrible thing.
You can have some protection, a wall between you or whatever

you need. They're going to be on the other side but you can see
them and you can talk to them. You need to tell these people how
you feel. (Corinna mumbles some sounds) You've been projecting
these people onto the world. I know you said you don't care who
these people are but you need to face them. Tell them how you feel
about the terrible thing they did. You can say whatever you want.
CORINNA: (sobbing) They don't like it either.
RANDAL: It's important for you to see that. They don't like it
either. Are they horrified by it also?
CORINNA: Yes.
RANDAL: Get some understanding. What would make some
people, who are also horrified, do such terrible things? Did they
see these things happen to other people or was it something else?
CORINNA: Politics. Other people are telling them to do it.
(begins shrieking)
RANDAL: Are these soldiers?
CORINNA: (sobbing and speaking haltingly) Yes. They're on
horses and they're wearing armor. I see one man and he looks so
sad.
RANDAL: Talk to the people who sent these soldiers to kill
your people. What do you want to say to them?
CORINNA: Oh, God. They're so inhuman and so hard.
RANDAL: Face them. You have the power and you have the
protection. You have the courage to do this.
CORINNA: They don't care. They don't care. I don't want to
give them that much. Nothing reaches these people.
RANDAL: It's time to reach them. Reach out and hold them so
they will hear you. (Randal puts a pillow into Corinna's hands and
she holds it close to her face) Tell these people what you want to
tell them. Reach them!
CORINNA: (sobbing) I can't stand them.
RANDAL: Tell them.
CORINNA: I can't stand you. I can't stand this fucking
insensitivity. It's incredible. They're not human. (pushes the pillow
to the floor)
RANDAL: "You're not human."
CORINNA: You're not human. (shouting) You're not human!
You're not human! Ahhhhhhhh! (sobbing and gulping)
RANDAL: Listen to that person. What does he say in

response?
CORINNA: He's scared. He's scared.
RANDAL: What is he scared of? What you're saying or
something else?
CORINNA: No. He's scared of himself. He's scared to see it.
He knows it. (sobbing) I... I... I don't know if I can feel compassion.
I don't know.
RANDAL: You're coming a long way in your understanding.
It doesn't make sense. It's crazy and it's terrible and all of that, but
you're starting to more deeply understand what's going on. The
sadness and the fear and the things that have gone on to cause
such a terrible tragedy. (pause) Is there anything else you want to
say to these people now?
CORINNA: I wish I could reach them.
RANDAL: If you could reach them what would you say to
them?
CORINNA: (breathing heavily and gasping) I would ask them
to be people. (sobbing) I would ask them to be part of the human
race, to be part of us. To feel it a.n d know it's not just a game.
RANDAL: That's good. What do they say to that? Pick one of
them out. What does he say to that?
CORINNA: He wants to.
RANDAL: He wants to what?
CORINNA: He wants to be part of it.
RANDAL: This is so important for you to experience right
now. You're coming such a long way. It's difficult, I know. But it's
important to recognize that what makes him seem inhuman is that
he's blocking out his humanity, not that he's completely inhuman.
There's something there that's been blocked out. People in their
essence aren't like that. He feels pain. He's not happy with this.
You understand that. You can see that. There is a human being
there that is blocked out. He's in pain and he's scared.
CORINNA: (sobbing) I know that he aches so much.
RANDAL: You can feel that. Is there anything else that you
want to say to him?
CORINNA: I want to invite him into the world where people
mean something. (breaking into sobs)
RANDAL: That's so good. How does he respond?
CORINNA: He wants to come. (sobbing) It's hard to reach him.

I have mixed feelings. I don't know whether to feel compassion or
hatred.
RANDAL: I understand that. You have mixed feelings.
Whatever you want to say and do is up to you. What is he saying
now?
CORINNA: He's not saying anything. We're holding each
other with our eyes. We're holding that space there.
RANDAL: Okay, hold that space with your eyes.
CORINNA: I see him and he sees me.
RANDAL: Very good. (pause) You're doing so much toward
helping him to heal. I know it's a long process but you're doing
very well. He's already come a long way to come out of his shell
and see you.
CORINNA: (in sobs) Oh God, it's so strange. I think, "My
people are dead" and then I see him. I see that he's also my people
and I hate him. It's so difficult.
RANDAL: It's very difficult and it's very sad that things
sometimes come to such tragedies. He's been very alienated and
very isolated from your people and from his people. He's made
some terrible mistakes. (pause) What's happening with him right
now? Does he have anything to say?
CORINNA: (speaking haltingly) He feels my hesitation. I
feel my hesitation. Somehow I know it's up to me to make this
happen.
RANDAL: To make what happen? What needs to happen right
now?
CORINNA: Understanding.
RANDAL: Yes, he needs to understand. You are helping
him to understand. It's painful, I know that, but he's beginning
to understand. On the great mandala, this has been happening
far too long. So you can invite him to take his place on the great
mandala.
CORINNA: (sobbing) It' s hard to let go of my hurt.
RANDAL: It's okay to feel your hurt. That's very important
and real too. But as you let go of your hurt, as you're in the process
of doing, you are helping him to heal and you are helping yourself
to heal. You're helping him to transcend because we all need to
transcend this. We need to break the cycle. The cycle goes on until
we take steps forward to rise above it and that's what you're doing.
That's what great people do in the world to heal and help heal.
That's what Gandhi or Nelson Mandela, the great peacemakers of
the world, do to create so much healing. Sometimes punishment
is appropriate. But forgiving and moving on can eventually be
appropriate, too. If not forgiving, then letting go and moving
on. Whatever it takes to move forward and take that first step.
I don't know what is best here, only you do. You're doing it on
your own. You' re coming up with it in your own way, reaching out
very powerfully and helping to transcend this thing that has been
going on and on. The time has come to rise above this and stop
that pattern.
CORINNA: (emotionally) The war is over now.
RANDAL: Yes ... yes.
CORINNA: (sobbing) I can see it now.
RANDAL: You can see what now?
CORINNA: (haltingly between sobs) I can just take one person
at a time. It's so hard because so many died at the same time.
RANDAL: It's hard. Gandhi said, and I'm paraphrasing, that
each of us can probably only make a small difference in the overall
big picture, but nevertheless, it's so important for each of us to do
what we can. That is a part of our task.
CORINNA: (sobbing) It's hard. He wants to come.
RANDAL: Do you want to invite him to come?
CORINNA: Now he's my only companion and I don't know.
RANDAL: Make him your companion for now. You can do it.
You have the power to do it. (pause) Look at this person. Even
though he has wielded all of this power, some part of his humanity
is coming out. See him as a small child.
CORINNA: I do! I see him that way. But what he represents is
so large.
RANDAL: How do you help him to transcend what he
represents?
CORINNA: Doing it is easy. Being willing to is the hard part.
RANDAL: Yes, helping him is the easy part. Being willing is
the hard part. That's quite a breakthrough. What an insight. So it
comes to within you. (pause) Are you willing?
CORINNA: (long groan) I feel a little bit mischievous, you
know. (laughing) I don't want to make it too easy.
RANDAL: (laughing) I understand that. Sometimes you need

to be stern with a boy who's done something very bad. That's part
of it. It's not all lovey-dovey. You can be a very powerful teacher.
You can have balance between that love and that discipline. We
grow through a good balance of love and discipline.
CORINNA: He gets it.
RANDAL: This is so powerful for him and it's so powerful for
you. You've tapped into a greatness within you to come so far. To
be willing to help such a person heal. To help you to heal.
CORINNA: I don't want to hold onto it.
RANDAL: It's time to let go. This has been going on far too
long. It's time to forgive. It's time to heal. It's time to move on.
CORINNA: (laughing and crying) Talk about dancing with the
devil, my God!
RANDAL: You recognize that he was hooked into the devil but
he's not the devil, of course.
CORINNA: He's got more to him than that.
RANDAL: You' ve come so far from feeling that such people
were not human to reaching out and seeing the humanity
within. While you were doing this for him you were doing this
for the world . What happened in the process is that it is healing
also for yourself. A very powerful healing that you deserve.
You have a right to it and you fully accept it. You have a right
to success, you have a right to be loved, a right to joy, a right
to peace and to all the good things that life has to offer. There
is so much good in the world and there is so much good in the
essence of people. The essence is good and the essence can be
brought out.
One of the best ways you are good to others is by being good
to yourself, being loving to yourself and being your own best
friend. Allowing yourself to have joy and peace and love and
health and success and so much more. Allowing yourself peace
deep within, to reach that great wisdom that is there. It comes with
being a powerful healer. It comes with forgiveness. It comes with
love. And as that love goes out from you it also goes to your own
inner self, your inner child. You are completely loving to yourself
and forgiving of yourself because you deserve it. It's gone on far
too long. The war is over. (Corinna sobs) It's time for you to give
peace a chance. The time has come and you're doing that now. You
deserve it and we all deserve it. You radiate peace, Corinna. You
radiate love. You radiate good will.
The spiritual power that it took for you to do what you've just
done is radiating both within and without. You are much more
in tune now with the Source that is you. In fact you were very
much in tune all along and that has been obvious in the things
you have done in life and who you are. Now you have that much
more freedom to be fully expressive. You've already been very
expressive. An expert at teaching expression. It's one of the many
things you do so well. Now you are fully in touch, down to the core,
with your full self expression. You're wide open to the tremendous
abundance around you and within you. The more you give out the
more is returned in relationships, in work, in life, and in your own
very important relationship with yourself.
Breath down into your belly. Feel the peace within. Feel your
center. Feel your calm. Ironically, inner strength comes in part
from letting go. How beautiful. As you let go you are all the
more centered, peaceful, calm, radiant and powerful. Letting go
is so good. (pause) I'm getting ready to bring you up out of the
hypnotic state. Is there anything further you'd like to say or ask
before I do that?
CORINNA: (big sigh) It's so clear that there are no enemies.
Only ignorance.
RANDAL: Yes, it's crystal clear. It stays with you and you
nurture the wisdom and the insights. You nurture your heart and
your compassion. It becomes more and more clear as you move
toward the light. In a moment I'm going to begin counting from
one to five. With every number that I count you become more and
more alert, awake and aware. At the count of five you open your
eyes and are then fully alert and so clear. Continuing to bring with
you all of this and so much more as you come fully back to your
conscious awareness. But it's a very special conscious awareness
that comes back and stays with you. It includes a very deep
spiritual understanding, as well as wisdom, love and compassion.
It includes having balance in your life, making contact and going
inward. It includes a tremendous range of things. The better you
take care of yourself the more of a natural healer you become.
Number one, slowly, calmly and gently begin returning to your
full conscious awareness once again. Number two, more and more
alert, awake and aware with each number that I count. Number
three, more and more alert and invigorated but also very much at
peace. Number four, getting ready to open your eyes on the next
number. Coming back fully alert, rested and refreshed. Coming
back, number five. (pause)
CORINNA: (slowly opening her eyes) We covered a lot of
ground.
RANDAL: Yes we did. Take your time coming back. (applause
as Randal and Corinna hug) We'll take a break and then come
back.
RANDAL: (after the break) You were saying some profound

things during the break. Would you like to share some of that with
the group?
CORINNA: It was so good to get away for a few minutes to
just be quiet.
RANDAL: That's what I meant when I talked about the balance
of contact and going inward. I'm glad you were able to get away
for a few minutes.
CORINNA: Oh, there's so much. So many key elements of my
life. One of the significant things for me was that I'd been to that
place where I felt the sense of annihilation and the feeling that I
could see essentially what I didn't want to go back to. That's when
everything shifted and I went farther than I've ever been able to
go.
RANDAL: There was such a conflict within because the
experience was so catastrophic and yet you needed to be able to
integrate and make sense of it to work through it. We went through
many steps with that and at one point I felt like I needed to check
to see if it was appropriate to move on.
CORINNA: I'm really grateful that you kept with it. In fact
at one point you said, "If you could reach them what would you
say?" And that made all the difference because I was in this space
of feeling defeated no matter what I did or what I had to give. I
was feeling, "You're not going to reach these people. You're just
not going to." What you said brought me so much closer. One of
the sensations I had that was so strong, was that these were such
healing stories. In some ways I don't even feel that it's personal.
It's a shared thing. It's what we do to each other.
RANDAL: It is absolutely universal. What we do to each other

is still happening in the world in many ways and also what we do
within ourselves. There is a Gestalt here which is a world view and
a world experience. This is very deep and ancient stuff.
CORINNA: The significant thing for me was first of all, the
point when I was holding eyes with the perpetrator and he was
rendered helpless by the truth of my situation. I guess that's how
the psyche works. All his people disappeared so it was just him and
me there. (laughs) I knew, I could feel, that his heart was opened
because of the truth of the situation, and I could feel my reluctance
to embrace that. I immediately thought it was easy to help him, but
was I willing? That was the difficult part. My wounded will was
right there and then (clap) all of a sudden it was clear.
RANDAL: It was so powerful when you made that realization.
I really felt it. You initially felt it was hopeless and you realized, "I
can do it if I'm willing ."
CORINNA: (laughing) Yes, getting me close to this character
was really good. I'm aware that I still have some grieving to do
around my feelings.
RANDAL: Absolutely. I didn't necessarily expect you to
accomplish so much. This experience is something you've been
avoiding for a very long time. It is not to be assumed that a person
will move as thoroughly as you did in one session.
CORINNA: I've been close. I got to that same point but got
lost. I didn't have a body and I had all this experience. I could
even see the place. I feel really complete about this now, the
totality of having worked with this before on my own but never
coming through to completion. Now I can quietly let it integrate
and feel how much a sense of loss it was. This is something that
I've seen in my life again and again, how this sense of injustice is
so overwhelming that I would simply lose all energy. I feel that I
passed through that in this regression.
RANDAL: Yes, that's great.
CORINNA: The most healing element for me is actually having
the experience that there are no enemies. That there really is only
ignorance. For the perpetrator that's all it is, whether the enemy
comes from inside or from experience. That was a lot.
RANDAL: Before I take a couple of questions I want to say,
Corinna, that you've just been through a tremendous experience.
I encourage you tonight after class to really give some time to

yourself and take some quiet time tomorrow to reflect and allow
the integration to continue to take place.
CORINNA: Yes, I will. This is precious stuff.
RANDAL: (to the class) The vast majority of the regression
that I do is age regression. I assume, unless a client says something
otherwise, that we will need to go no further than the initial
sensitizing event in this life. Then if someone spontaneously
regresses to an apparent past life, or has come to the session
strongly suspecting a past life connection, I can be receptive.
I was neutral in this session. Corinna was talking about past
lives but I didn't ask her to go back to a past life or to some time
in this life. I just left it open to have her tap into this feeling of
annihilation and go back to some time when she felt that, as I
counted from ten to one. That was the affect bridge and it was wide
open to whatever was going to be. When a client experiences a past
life regression I accept it as part of the reality of the subconscious,
as when working with the subconscious reality of dreams, and I
accept Corinna's experience. Her regression felt so meaningful and
so archetypal. She was tapping into a core experience.
CORINNA: I would like to add that letting that guy in was the
most abundant thing I've ever done.
RANDAL: That's perfect. If you can be that abundant you're
wide open now to have all kinds of abundance in your life.
LIEF: I thought it was interesting to look at the whole thing
because there were certain stages. It started with fear and then
there was the rage and a big piece around grief. Then it went
around eventually to forgiveness.
RANDAL: It is reminiscent of what Kubler Ross says about the
six stages of death. Those are such universal feelings. It was like
peeling the layers.
LOURDES: Why did you mention that you were surprised she
went as far as she did today? Would it usually take multiple sessions
to get to that point? How would you stop that kind of recall and
just put it on the shelf until the next time you see a person?
RANDAL: What I said was I didn't necessarily expect her to
accomplish so much. She went so far on so many levels, starting
with her powerful series of abreactions. As we continued, I
was impressed that Corinna embraced so much feeling while
experiencing insight and growth. There was such depth to her

work. There were so many complexities and she went so far in
letting go and moving on and transcending on various levels.
I didn't assume when I started the Gestalt dialogue that
Corinna was going to come all the way to embracing this
person and becoming a companion to him. I'm looking for full
communication and expression. They started incredibly far apart. If
she had finished the dialogue with a thorough communication and
a greater mutual understanding but not reaching forgiveness, after
all the other powerful work of this session, that would have been
great. Then going so far as making this seemingly inhuman person
into a human one and helping him to embrace humanity was such
a powerful thing that Corinna chose to do. I didn't tell her to do
that or try to encourage it, and I never try to force forgiveness. If
it's going to come in a session, it needs to come from within when
the person is ready.
When I brought in Corinna's higher self there was still so much
pain going on that I felt we needed to move into a Gestalt dialogue,
although I could have continued working with the higher self. I
might have said, "You've seen this now and you're learning a great
deal from this experience," and then move on to misconceptions.
But so much was going on and there was still so much that could be
done. We moved into Gestalt at that point. Many therapists don't
ever go so far and still many of their clients get good results.
There will be many times in therapy when there is further
work on an issue after a session, and that's normal. You don't have
to get a sense that the person has gone all the way in every aspect.
If there is emotional clearing work being done in a session, I want
the client to reach a sense of completion about that. I won't stop
the session in the middle of a catharsis, and as I've said, I usually
allow at least an hour and a half for a regression session. And there
are degrees of completion and various steps that can be taken.
If you can get to the point of realizing misconceptions that is a
powerful further level, and you can often begin to move to further
completions beyond that in doing work such as I do in the 15 or so
steps of emotional clearing regression.
We've gone overtime so we'll stop here, but if any of you have
further questions and would rather not wait until our next meeting,
please see me after class.
Commentary
Ernest Hilgard' s term "hidden observer" can refer to a
phenomenon used for either hypnotic analgesia or recall in which
sensory pain or memories can be masked by an amnesia-like barrier
between dissociated streams of consciousness. The symbol is more
commonly used for objective observation while encouraging
complete physical and emotional detachment during hypnotic
recall of trauma. I often use the hidden observer in this way during
hypnotic regression if ideomotor signaling has contraindicated the
use of emotional clearing work. In this session I used the phrase to
encourage an initial detached perspective for Corinna in order to
coax forth the traumatic memory or imagery without attempting
to restrict access to her emotions.

RANDAL: Welcome back. You've had some time during
this last week to let things sink in. What would you like to
say?
CORINNA: The experience after the session was incredible.
The whole session was, but I felt really calm the next day and I was
pretty quiet for two days. I recognized immediately that the scope
and dimension of the experience was really big so I decided to just
take it easy and let the energy move into place and shift around.
The next morning when I woke up there was a feeling of things
just being in place and moving inside energetically. The experience
kept, and still does keep, replaying in different dimensions and
layers. At some point the realizations and integrations started to
come in and all jell.
RANDAL: That's great.
CORINNA: Also I was tired. I slept a lot this last week.
RANDAL: (laughing with Corinna) I don't know what would
make you tired!
CORINNA: It was beautiful. I got everything done that I
needed to get done. Things flowed. But I was in a kind of no-time
zone. I felt when I got into this space I was just home free.
RANDAL: Great. I'm glad that you were taking care of yourself
and letting your subconscious and conscious mind do some resting,
as well as everything else.
CORINNA: I really appreciate that you didn't interfere with the

process as it was happening. I have a lot of respect for you. There
were a couple of brilliant moments. I'll speak within the context of
the experience. (turning to the class) You know the vastness and
continuity of life is too much for some people. You can just think
of it symbolically. (turning to Randal) But when you said, "Do you
have a body?" it was absolutely a stroke of brilliance.
RANDAL: It was the obvious question. You kept not being
able to find your body.
CORINNA: Well, I didn't have a body. I was right at that point
where it was clear I was out of body. That allowed me to complete
the story, which was incredible. I'd been to that point a couple of
times. I was even at that same scene once but I was farther away
from the experience. Much farther away. And the other thing, in
terms of working together, was the affect bridge. When you went
into that... I'm pretty easy with feelings and emotions anyway, but
I never realized the link, in terms of soul-making, until this affect
bridge. I got further and further into that feeling that you were
really encouraging and at the center and peak of the feeling you
went into going back to the experience. It was like every dimension
consolidated into a singular movement. Then (Corinna snaps her
fingers) I arrived at the scene. It was amazing.
RANDAL: That's a very hypnotic description you just gave
because one thing that happens as people go deeper into hypnosis
is that their concentration tends to narrow down to a single focus.
On a different level that's part of what you're talking about.
CORINNA: This was taking it into so many different
dimensions of time and space. It's almost like form dissolving
completely, consolidating and then reconfiguring.
RANDAL: This felt very special. One comment I made may
not have related to you but it just came out of me. It was something
I identified with but most people probably aren't familiar with.
When I said "Take your place on the great mandala," had you
heard that song by Peter, Paul and Mary?
CORINNA: Well, I understood the symbolism right away.
RANDAL: Good.
CORINNA: There are a lot of layers to this story but there were
two things that happened simultaneously. I'll call it evolutionary
viewpoints. One was personal and one was transpersonal in a very
big way. My people were incredibly magical, simple, mystical,

poetic people, and they were just annihilated. It was so complete.
There were no questions. The isness of it, and the impact of it, was
just overwhelming. Part of that holding, what I kept with me, was
the inability to comprehend that that's possible in the nature of
things for no good reason at all. That's one thing that was personal
to carry over. But once I started getting back into the experience
and could continue with the growth and just being, I became aware
that my people were gone. This really beautiful tribe had come to
such a flowering within the context of who they were. But then all
that I was left with was the so-called enemy, the soldiers who did
the killing and the hierarchy attached to that. At that moment there
was such a knowing that now these were my people and I had so much
resistance. It was a leap. That is one layer that comes again and again.
I got to the point where I was with the guy who did the killing
and things started to happen as we came closer together. There was
a connection. I realized that he went from being this completely
insensitive inhuman thing, and it was just through holding each
other's gaze. I was witnessing him becoming aware of the impact
of his actions and the fear emerging. There was something in the
fear that made me really aware that I was witnessing a soul maybe
here for the first time, which was powerful. It took me about two
days to get to that point and I realized what a gift, to experience
that. Then I started to look at the whole story. The good and
the bad and the right and the wrong of things, and it's so much
bigger than that. It's the nature of how things evolve. I started
to be so much more at peace with the way things are. You know,
annihilation, creativity, the whole story. I've kind of encapsulated
it with a phrase so I can remember that the bits of soul-making can
sometimes make a pretty gnarly soup. (laughter) There are lots of
elements involved in this. As far as wholeness goes, all the pieces
are available to me now.
RANDAL: Thank you very much.
CORINNA: Thank all of you. It was amazing to have you be
part of it.
RANDAL: Are there any questions for Corinna?
TOM: I couldn't make sense of one thing you were saying, that
your people had been annihilated. Then later it somehow seemed
more logical because they had reached a certain high evolvement.
CORINNA: It started to make sense in terms of my own journey.

TOM: And the enemy had now become your people.
CORINNA: Well, I'm still working on that one. (laughter)
But I'm starting to sense that in the regression there was a place
where, it was fast, but I became really aware that I had accepted
the situation for the first time. That's when I realized that part
of it is just accepting the isness of it. There was no way for me
to separate people. I'm a person and these were the only living
people. There was a certain quiet knowing in the fact that, okay,
this is where the journey is going. I'm aware now that there is no
way to separate myself but that's what I had wanted. One of the
reasons this stayed with me is that I really wanted out. I wanted
to find a way to separate myself from life. That's an impossibility,
but all of my energy went into that. Even in the regression I looked
around and saw the soldier and I was aware of his hierarchy. I
realized that the only way to keep going in life is to allow these
people into my experience. This is something that is a very integral
part of my life right now, to be big enough to embrace every aspect
of our humanity, including the brutality and ignorance. It's very
powerful but I'm not afraid of it anymore and I don't feel I have to
struggle to achieve it anymore either.
RANDAL: That's wonderful. I'm glad you got that.
TOM: Would there be a possibility that you felt obliged or
responsible to bring those other people to the same level?
CORINNA: For me this is the real work and my real quest to
participate. It's a big thing. I'm involved in so many ways but there
is still something that I hold back. It's the willingness part. There's
a part of me that's very aware, that knows how much I have to
give, but I still withhold. There's a kind of dance where part of
me takes the passive side and the other part is very involved but
struggling, so this whole story is unfolding here and now in that
way.
PETER: During your experience it sounded like you were
speaking with a Russian accent.
CORINNA: Well, it was in Europe. I sensed that it was a
culture like the Druids or something like that. We were a very
simple people. The people were beautiful. That much I was really
aware of. It was a long time ago but it's not. It's still alive. That was
the other beautiful thing. I'm supported in a lot of different ways
but out of this experience it was so clear that there is no death, just
a changing of forms. I have a much deeper appreciation of life.
Everything has value though I may not see it for several thousand
years. (laughter)
LOURDES: I don't even know if I have the right kind of
vocabulary to talk about this.
CORINNA: I don't either.
LOURDES: You keep talking about it as a story.
CORINNA: I see everything as a story, I think because language
is inadequate. I say, "Wow, that's a great story." Because it is a
story. A story of our lives. Which brings me to another space that
I was in this week. Do you know the story of Chung Tzu and the
butterfly? Chung Tzu wakes up with a dream and says, "I dreamt
last night that I was butterfly." And then he starts wondering, "Or
am I a butterfly dreaming that I'm Chung Tzu?" (laughter) That's
something that's really growing inside of me. I'm feeling it as a
beautiful sense of expansion. I don't feel the walls of separation
that I put up and that other people put up nearly as much. It's
a space of feeling that everything is alive and we have access to
everything all the time. I see and appreciate getting involved with
the smallness of our personal preferences, but it's a really tiny part
of the big picture.
RONALD: Is it your sense that this was a past life?
CORINNA: Well, it doesn't really matter right now, as far
as exploring it was fun and interesting and relevant and overall
expanding our awareness. I'm so alive in the transformation. But
I do know it was a long time ago and it's still now. The time-space
dimension is completely... we agree on certain concepts, a 24 hour
day, etc., but the experience I have is that everything that has ever
existed is existing now at some level and layer and dimension.
RANDAL: I would encourage you to stay with your subjective
sense of it.
CORINNA: I don't want to wonder with information because
that takes me out of it.
RANDAL: That gets into the left brain instead of staying with
our emphasis of the right brain. It's something we can naturally
be curious about but I think, especially with the emotional and
spiritual expansion and discovery that you're going through right
now, it's good to stay away from trying to figure it out.
CORINNA: There is another thing. When I woke up the next

morning I hadn't realized how much of a conflict I had with it
because I fought against it so successfully. But there is a magic and
a beauty and a wisdom to these people that has been a singular
driving force in this lifetime that has reflected in the music I play
and my poetry and connection with nature. Some part of me has
always been in conflict with that and I was able to reclaim the
whole beauty of it, the whole magic of it, and really let that be
part of my life again. That was really sweet. It was very simple but
significant in effortless ways.
JOSH: I want to say how much I appreciate your attention to
your own process. Your knowing your terrain is such a great gift
for me to learn from. I was so affected at one point when you said
something like, "How can you be so insensitive to life?" Maybe
insensitive wasn't the word.
CORINNA: No, that was the word. That was the experience.
JOSH: I was wondering if that was a call for you, or a
charge for your own life, to be right up against living with the
enemy.
CORINNA: Well, that's a good question. There was a point
where I noticed I was alone. My people were gone. These people
were here, these people were the enemy, and I had a choice to
make at that point. I could continue with life on those terms or not.
I realized that it's about bringing courage forward. It's not about
courage to dominate, but courage to embrace. It's about having the
courage to participate unconditionally. The world is not going to
change for me and I can't wait for those conditions to arrive. It's
something I've been working with for awhile, seeing the limitation
that I impose on myself. This experience has actually given me
a feeling of less fear. In some ways it's very subtle but it's very
profound. Every day I have things to do that are challenging and
I have doubts about myself. I move into situations now with the
same energy. It's still a lot of energy because it's a challenge and an
unknown, but I move now much more with a sense of rightness.
This is good. I belong here. This is the right way for me to go. I'm
no longer held back by my own hesitation, my own self-doubt, my
own separation.
RANDAL: There is an extra deep knowing, a very peaceful
feeling.
CORINNA: It's very beautiful. I think this is the real core that's
developing in this story. For the first time in my life I'm starting to
feel like I belong here. It's kind of a big deal. (laughing)
RANDAL: I'd say so.
CORINNA: There was a part of me that was so not liking what
happened and I developed my own private war with existence.
It was really beautiful that you continued and brought me to this
fellow because it made me bring it in closer. It also got me in touch
with that willing part of myself. It was intense. (laughs) There was
a lot to it and the dimensions keep unraveling.
RANDAL: That's great. Sergio?
SERGIO: How do you feel now about the man who was
responsible for ordering the annihilation of your village?
CORINNA: The very first thing I felt was a need to own that
character. This was the kind of guy that I couldn't stand my entire
life. Stupid, powerful. He wasn't evil, he was just stupid and he
had a lot of power. I see it everywhere in our society and I was
always outraged at this configuration.
RANDAL: You came so far with that that at first he was just
absolutely inhuman. There was nothing good about him. Now
you're taking something that had such horrendous repercussions
and recognizing the ignorance aspect, rather than seeing that man
as some monster that doesn't have any humanity at all.
CORINNA: Right. And I actually did get to the point where
I saw his humanity and I also saw that it was important that
there was simply acknowledgment of that. But you know, Sergio,
there was something really beautiful about me owning my own
ignorance and seeing what that does to me in my own separation
and limitation. That was really a gift. It's very powerful to be able to
acknowledge and see ignorance when it's there instead of spending
time trying to compensate for it which just builds information on
top of ignorance. Eventually it collapses. When I allowed him into
my heart it created more space in me as well.
MIKE: Do you see a change in your present situation? I'm
talking about in actually handling people.
CORINNA: Yes. Magical things have been happening. It's
funny but things are so the way they should be that it seems ...
RANDAL: Natural?
CORINNA: Exactly!
Corrina's Seif-Destruction 353
RANDAL: Isn't that interesting. (laughter)

CORINNA: I'm naturally not putting energy into the tension,
the struggle, the conflict, because the conflict is gone.
RANDAL: It's obvious that you felt it deeply at the time. This
is a wonderful integration.
LIEF: I just want to say that something that seems so magical
with this process is the way you worked symbolically and covered
all the realms from the most transpersonal, spiritual, archetypal
and existential experiences of your life.
CORINNA: It keeps turning and folding and with each turning
another layer and dimension is revealed. Incredible.
SUSAN: Do you feel you want to continue working with
hypnotherapy with this particular subject or do you feel more like
sitting with it for awhile by yourself to just see what unfolds?
CORINNA: Well, both. I came out of that retreat knowing that
hypnosis was a tool I needed as a bridge to get into that space of
wholeness. But my approach has always been to be inviting but
not seeking. An effortless effort, which is kind of the way hypnosis
is. There is more invitation and awakening rather than going in
and grabbing something. It's hands off right now. I'm clear. I don't
want to put too much work in it.
RANDAL: You're being very present with yourself and with
life right now. There's a momentum happening with you that's
beautiful to be aware of. I'd say to just keep this momentum going
for the foreseeable future.
CAROLYN: You said that you had gotten to a certain point
before and then you got stuck and you couldn't go any further. What
was it this time that allowed you to see this to its conclusion?
CORINNA: (gesturing to Randal) Well, I had a great facilitator
and I knew he wouldn't impose his ideas on me. (laughter) And
I knew he wouldn't be afraid of the energy. There's a tremendous
amount of energy there and it takes a special person to not get
distracted by that or not to absorb it or try to stop it. That's one
thing. I also had a readiness and a knowingness that it was essential
for me to take my next step in order to feel integrated and whole.
RANDAL: I tried to tune in to Corinna in a respectful way,
recognizing from the beginning that these were tremendously
powerful and archetypal issues, very spiritual and emotional issues,
that had gone on for a long time. I wanted to treat this moment
with the respect and profoundness that it deserved. My intention

from the beginning was to honor Corinna by communicating with
her in the big picture as an old soul. That was part of setting it up
so that Corinna would be able to go through this. Certainly being
able to handle the emotions that come up and staying present in
each moment with her is an important part of the therapy.
CORINNA: I'd like to say something here because I really
learned how, aside from the drama and all the stuff around
emotions, this pure feeling was an incredible vehicle. It was like
the cleanest ride I could possibly take to this interior experience.
There aren't that many words to describe it but basically it got me
really connected. In a certain way it wasn't even emotion in my
experience. It was a freeing of energy so there was room to grow.
I know it looks agonizing from outside but the inner experience
went beyond that. It was very beautiful.
RANDAL: That's the crucial thing. For many people there is a
catastrophic expectation of facing our greatest fears and pain, but
Corinna was embracing it completely, even though there was some
initial resistance in getting to that horrible scene. She recognized
that she really wanted to get there. Once you were in it you sensed,
"I need to be here. And if I can move through this, it will feel so
good on the other side."
CORINNA: It's really true. The feeling of meeting it so
dramatically was a tremendous gift and relief.
GREG: I'm sitting here watching you interact with people and
I get a sense of calm about myself, just tuning into your energy. It's
like heal yourself, heal the planet. You heal and the rest of us catch
something off of that energy.
CORINNA: That's how I decided to come into this training. I
think it was Pythagoras who said, "Physician, heal thyself." I can
only give what I have. It's been a great experience. I really felt that
everyone was with me through this whole process.
Corinna Writes Eight Years Later

Thanks for sending the transcript, Randal - it's fantastic. 'Tis
truly the theme that is at the centerpiece of transformation for me
in this lifetime. It is getting far more graceful and compassionate
for me since my first awareness and response, I am happy to say.
I'm gratified - awesome session.
CHAPTER 19
Chris' Terror
Past Life Regression:
The Concentration Camp
RANDAL: Is there something you'd like to work on?

CHRIS: Yes, but what I want to say first is that sitting here is
terrifying for me.
RANDAL: Do you generally have stage fright?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: And this is far more in a big way because you'll
working on a challenging personal issue.
CHRIS: Yes, but I'm less afraid of that aspect than sitting up
here.
RANDAL: Well, we'll have a session this time in which you
just confront your fear by sitting here and then we'll do another
session in a couple of weeks. (laughter)
CHRIS: (laughing) Okay. (pretends to get up to leave)
RANDAL: Wait. You have to sit here. (laughter)
CHRIS: Let's see. I'll just rap a little and see what comes clear.
RANDAL: Take a moment and then say what you want to
say.
CHRIS: (takes a breath) It feels like terror is the link. I grew up
with a rage-aholic, alcoholic father who was very abusive to my
mother and my brother and less to me, I think, but I witnessed it
all. Having the house smashed up was a common occurrence and
my mother being punched and that sort of thing.
RANDAL: So there was physical as well as emotional and

verbal violence.
CHRIS: Yes. So I think I grew up not really knowing how I felt
about anything. I left home when I was 18 and vowed I'd never go
back and ask for anything. I've done a lot of healing around that. I
do go back to visit now. Eventually I ended up in California after
11 years in Italy. I was searching for something. Back when I was a
kid at home the conditions made me search for something that was
bigger than my father, which was God.
Then six years ago I got into deep meditation practices. I had
an intention when I set out of seeking truth. There were some
very blissful moments but what kept coming through was this
hopeless despair, like hell, and it would come in and out. I would
see people standing around huddled in the snow and I was cold.
Then it would go. I kept asking what this was about and it turned
out that I experienced ... (Chris' voice breaks up with emotion)
being gassed in a concentration camp ... as an eight year-old girl.
Wow. (shaking slightly) This is a lot to work on. I have no Jewish
heritage, not in this life anyway. It was like ... How could they? And
what I kept hearing during the experience was, Don't let them put
out the flame.
I realized afterwards that this was clearly about forgiveness
and worked with a therapist. I think I've come a long way on my
own, too, but I feel like I carry terror in my body. I'm a functioning,
normal, loving person but there is something that can get triggered
in me. It can be the war in Iraq or anything that is about abuse or
violence towards women. I came out of this meditation six years
ago feeling as if I'd had everything taken away from me. There was
nothing else to be taken. I thought, well, the holocaust happened in
the past, and so many people are striving for that to never happen
again. But it's happening everywhere to some degree. When I was
growing up there was a part of me that thought killing myself
was an option to getting out of my hell, which was being at home
with my father and all of that fear. Then with my spiritual path,
realizing that wasn't an option, I got even more scared. Suicide
wasn't an out or it wasn't one I was going to take anyway.
RANDAL: No exit.
CHRIS: No exit until it's time. And I've done a lot of work with
people who are dying. That's a passion for me and a recognition
Chris' Terror 357
that I'm more comfortable with dying, really, than being alive.
So when I'm getting ready to do this and realizing I'm up here in
front of the class and I'm terrified, it's not about any of that. It's
about being seen and being heard and being exposed. I can only
imagine that that's when you get hurt, when you're seen and
heard.
RANDAL: What are you afraid of? What's the catastrophic
expectation of being seen or heard or exposed?
CHRIS: It's irrational, but my body goes into that feeling of
fear.
RANDAL: Do you have a guess or a sense of whether this
vision of a concentration camp was a very strong identification
from the terror that you experienced as a child, or is it your gut
feeling that it felt like a past life?
CHRIS: It felt like a past life. I hadn't really believed in past
lives before then. Well, I wasn't sure. I hadn't really considered it
for myself.
RANDAL: What else would you like to say?
CHRIS: I have no childhood memories except for being left on
my first day of school.
RANDAL: Being dropped off at school?
CHRIS: Yes, and screaming my head off. That was at age six.
Before that it feels like a black hole.
RANDAL: When you describe the rage-aholic alcoholic father,
were those memories from later childhood?
CHRIS: Maybe starting around the age of eight. The whole
house revolved around what mood my father was in. We were all
on tenterhooks.
RANDAL: And you've done a fair amount of work on some of
this? Including, as you mentioned, seeing a therapist.
CHRIS: I've done a lot with all of that.
CHRIS: There is something else. A part of me isn't comforted
by the fact that that is the past and it's over now. I'm not sure about
parallel realities. I was in fear for quite a time that I might wake up
and that would be my reality and not this one.
RANDAL: Interesting.
CHRIS: I lead a functional life but this is definitely...
RANDAL: In the background?
CHRIS: Yes. I really believe in love and compassion and good,

and then there is a part of me that wonders how I would fare back
there again.
RANDAL: I was going to wait and say something in hypnosis
because things usually have more impact that way but I feel that
you're going to get so much from this session anyway that I'll say
it now. (note the suggestion Randal just gave) When you talk about
parallel realities, we do have parallel realities because as long as
we' re carrying something that is unfinished from the past, that is
a parallel reality in the present. As far as waking up, I don't expect
you to literally wake up and actually be there in that time. That
is something that you're still living with within you in the here
and now periodically. Sometimes it's more in the background
and sometimes it's more in the foreground. At least in that way
we certainly have parallel realities. Okay, are you ready for some
hypnosis?
CHRIS: Yes. (Chris moves into a reclining chair and a blanket
is put over her)
RANDAL: Look at these two fingers and watch them as they
circle around. Watch them as they get closer and closer and follow
my fingers up. Now keep your eyeballs looking up as you close
your eyelids down. (Chris' eyes close and Randal leads her through
a series a rapid induction methods)
Now focus on your breathing. Let your breathing be slow and
steady and deep and continuous. I'm talking to your subconscious
mind now. I want you to understand that we will only go where
it's appropriate for you to go. You've got some unfinished stuff
here that you want to work through. Specifically there is an issue
of terror that you carry with you. You feel that certain things
trigger it. Strong fear. It's been with you a long time. In awhile
I'll be asking for finger signals from your subconscious mind
to help us determine what is the appropriate direction for us to
take here.
Let's get clear now on what your finger signals are. See, hear,
and feel the word "yes" in your mind's eye until a certain finger
wants to lift and to rise. Keep thinking that word. (Chris' thumb
moves) Very good. We're getting a movement from the thumb on
your right hand. That is your "yes" finger. (Randal taps the thumb
lightly)
Chris' Terror 359
Now there is a certain finger that is your "no" finger. I'd like
you to see, hear, and feel the word "no" until a certain finger lifts
and rises. (Chris' middle finger moves) All right, we've got a
movement from your middle finger. (Randal taps the finger) This
is your "no" finger.
If I were to ask you a question that even your subconscious
mind doesn't know an answer to, then imagine an "I don't know"
response. It could be like a big gray question mark. There is a
certain finger on your right hand, either your index or your little
finger, that is your "I don't know" finger. (Chris' index finger
moves) Okay. I see a movement of your right index finger. (Randal
taps the finger)
If I were to ask you a question, Chris, and your subconscious
mind did not know how to properly answer in a yes or a no manner,
then you can signal with the finger I'm touching now. (Randal taps
her little finger) Your little finger. I'll do my best to ask questions in
such a way that your subconscious can answer yes or no, but you
need to answer in whatever way is correct for you.
We're going to do a couple of practice questions here. The first
practice question is, are we on the fourth floor of this building?
(Chris' middle finger moves) Good. The answer to the question
is no. Is this considered to be the second floor of this building?
(Chris' thumb moves) The answer is yes. Good.
When asking these questions I'm asking for the truth of your
subconscious mind. What you have chosen to work on today is
an issue of terror. This strong fear and terror goes back to very
difficult experiences. Regarding this issue of terror my question
for your subconscious mind is, is it safe and appropriate for you
to remember any and all memories having to do with the feelings
you sometimes have of terror? (Chris' thumb moves) Your signal
is yes. Fine. The next question, is it safe and appropriate for you to
be open to your emotions as any memories come up that have to
do with the feeling of terror? (Chris' thumb moves) The answer to
the question is yes.
There is something I want to say here before we continue on.
Whatever comes up, Chris, I'm here with you, the group is here
with you, and you can bring in any other resources. Your higher
self is here with you. You're going to recall certain things that are
very challenging. You will be able to handle them. The purpose
of getting in touch with this is to help you work through it. I

encourage you to recognize that whatever you go through now,
you're going to get through it successfully and it will be of great
benefit to you.
Focus on your breathing as I to talk to the class for a minute.
(to the class) If you haven't done it already, get those grounding
cords down and center yourselves. All right, Chris, I'm going to
count from one to ten. With every number that I count you stay
in hypnosis and maybe go even deeper, but a certain feeling will
come up in some way. Maybe you'll feel it emotionally and maybe
you'll feel it in your body. It's a feeling that you know all too well.
It goes way back. With each number, as I count from one up to ten,
you feel this feeling of terror growing. This feeling that you have
described as terror in your body. Bringing it to the surface now.
On number one, feeling more and more that feeling of terror.
Number two, something is there that you've lived with for a long
time. Number three, feeling that feeling of terror that you sometimes
feel. It's associated with war. It's associated with violence to
women. (Randal refers to triggers but deliberately avoids mention
of a possible past life, wanting to avoid influencing her in that
direction) Number four, feeling more and more that feeling of
terror. (Chris begins to sob) Stay with the feeling. Five, six, seven,
feeling that feeling coming up stronger now. (Chris is gasping in
deep breaths) Eight, nine, ten, stay with that feeling.
Now I'm counting from ten down to one. (Randal is shouting
over Chris' loud gasping and sobbing) Go back to an earlier time
when you had that feeling. That's good, that's good. Get it out of
your system. Your going back to a time when you felt this. (Chris
is shrieking loudly and sobbing) Ten, nine, eight, going back to
another time. Seven, six, five, going back to another time. Four,
three, two, one. You're right there. (Chris screams) Stay with your
feelings.
(Randal continues to encourage Chris as she screams for
several minutes) Getting it out... Getting it out of your system ...
You're releasing and getting it out of your life ... You're doing
fine ... You're letting it drain out of your body... You're releasing it
out of your body, out of your hands, out of your feet, out of your
mouth ... You're getting it out... (Chris continues shrieking with
less volume and intensity) You're doing fine. You're going to be
Chris ' Terror 361
okay. (Randal begins to breathe deeply in rhythm to her shrieking

and she begins to quiet down but starts choking) I'm going to ask
you some questions and you'll be able to verbalize and tell me
some quick answers. Are you inside or outside? (Chris is choking
uncontrollably and it appears that she might throw up) Someone
get a wastebasket, please. (a basket is brought up and held under
Chris' mouth as she continues choking)
CHRIS: (in a panic) I can't breathe! (making gagging sounds
for several minutes into the basket)
RANDAL: Breathe now. You can breathe. (Chris stops gagging
and sobs deeply) Stay with it. Stay with your feelings. You're
getting it out of you this time. You're doing fine. You're going to
make it. (Chris starts shivering and Randal takes the blanket which
had partially slipped down and pulls it up around her) Let's get
you covered. I'll ask you some quick questions. Are you inside or
outside?
CHRIS: (speaking with difficulty) I don't know.
CHRIS: (sobbing) I don't know.
RANDAL: Do you get a sense? Do you see anything? Do you
hear anything? What do you feel?
CHRIS: (choking) It's dark.
RANDAL: Okay, feel what you feel in your body right now.
What do you feel?
CHRIS: (still crying, whispers) Cold.
RANDAL: Do you feel cold all over or some particular place?
CHRIS: I feel like I'm dead.
RANDAL: Does this feeling like being dead have to do with
symbolism, such as some part of you being stifled? (Chris shakes
her head) Do you feel like you just died? (Chris nods) Finger signals
now. Your subconscious mind knows what's going on. Your feeling
is that you just died. Let's just be open minded here, whatever the
answer is. Is this feeling of having just died regarding a difficult
experience within your life? (Chris' middle finger moves) Your
signal is no. Are you actually experiencing the feeling of having
just physically died? (Chris' thumb moves) The answer is yes.
I'd like to check now about whether this has something to
do with the life you described earlier or if this is different. Is this
different from what you were talking about in the concentration
camp? Yes or no. (Chris' middle finger moves) The answer to the
question is no. Is this regarding a memory of having been gassed
in a concentration camp? (Chris' thumb moves) The answer to the
question is yes.
You've just left your body. You've just died. You've had a
terrible trauma after a series of unspeakable experiences. That's
what you had to deal with. There is something that you have taken
from that life and those shocking, terrifying experiences that have
still been affecting Chris in her life until now. Tune in, inside, to get
a sense of what you've kept. What feeling or what decision was
made that is still affecting you? You've done a lot of growing in
this life and let go of many things, but there is something, at least
one thing, that you have continued to keep in this lifetime. When
you get a realization of some kind of feeling or misconception that
you have brought over into the here and now, signal with your
"yes" finger. (after a pause Chris' thumb moves) All right, you've
signaled with your "yes" finger. I'll count from three down to one
and at the count of one you'll be able to say something about what
you carry with you from that life. Three, two and one.
CHRIS: It's not safe to be in a body.
RANDAL: That was a lesson that you learned from that
lifetime. Now bring in the wisdom of your higher self. Bring in all
of the guidance you can to help you in this experience. Before we
go on with these realizations bring here one or more of the people
who did those terrible things to you then and say whatever you
want to say to them. I can be here to protect you. They can't hurt
you again. There is a clear protective shield. If you could tell this
person or these people whatever you want, what would you say?
CHRIS: (crying and choking) You hurt me and I forgive you.
RANDAL: Thank you. Do you truly feel that you forgive those
people or that person? I'm not doubting, I'm just checking. I'm
neutral. Go inside and see how that feels.
CHRIS: Why?
RANDAL: You're asking them why. Now is the time to get
anything out. What is that person saying in response to that?
CHRIS: Too strong.
RANDAL: Meaning that you and the others are too strong? Is
this "you" plural?
CHRIS: Yes.
Chris' Terror 363
RANDAL: Is that person feeling that they're afraid of you

and the others? That they need to do this to protect themselves?
Is that what they feel? (Chris nods) Be yourself again. Are you an
adult or a child here? I know what you said before, I'm just double
checking.
CHRIS: A child.
RANDAL: This person who said, "You people are too strong.
We're trying to protect ourselves." What do you want to say in
response?
CHRIS: I never did anything.
RANDAL: That's true. You never did anything. Now listen to
the response.
CHRIS: I don't know.
RANDAL: Maybe they don't have a response. It's good that
you've done this. You can get a sense of the incomprehensibleness,
the shock, the terrible experience that you had in that lifetime that
you brought with you. We're going to let go of those people who
were so fearful, who were so sick. That was that situation. That
was then. You had this terrible experience and you died and you
go on to be born as Chris.
Come up to this lifetime as Chris in the present. You continue
to carry with you some feelings and some memories from that.
You said something in effect that it's dangerous to have a body,
is that correct? (Chris nods) As I said earlier, bring in your higher
self, bring in the great wisdom of your subconscious mind. There
is a part of your subconscious mind, Chris, that feels this way. That
was such an unspeakable experience that it feels like it's not safe to
be in a body. It's understandable that a part of you feels that way.
Part of you continued to have that incredibly intense memory.
But you're also releasing the intensity, and already came a long
way with your catharsis. That intensity is continuing to fade away
as you get realizations and as you make discoveries about those
experiences.
Your subconscious mind is getting a clear understanding
about what happened and how that affected you. What kind of
misconception or misconceptions developed as a result of those
terrifying experiences? Misconceptions that have been affecting you
until now. When you get a realization about that, signal with your
"yes" finger. (Chris' little finger moves) I'm getting a signal for not
knowing how to answer. Let me see if I can be more specific. You

made a decision in that lifetime that has stuck with you until now.
A decision that it's not safe to be in a body. Can your subconscious
mind signal if that is a factual belief for Chris in her life in the
present? (Chris' middle finger moves) The answer to the question
is no. That was a very reasonable idea for that terrified child to feel.
It wasn't safe in that day and in that age. There is a part of you that
recognizes that that was then and these are completely different
circumstances now.
Through your signal you recognize that that deeply held
belief is not true and no longer fits for you. I'd like you to have
that part of your subconscious communicate to the other part of
your subconscious to help you understand completely that in this
lifetime you have gone way beyond that experience. It is now safe
to be in a body. When you've done that, communicate by signaling
with your "yes" finger. (after a pause Chris' thumb moves) I
was getting a little movement for a few seconds and then a more
pronounced yes.
This is something you were feeling for a long time and you
are continuing to release the last vestiges of that. You've made the
breakthrough, made the realizations, and it is inevitable that you
will continue to release the misconception. The only thing that is
left, and it is an automatic process that you can accentuate with self-
hypnosis, is that you are changing neuro-pathways and letting go
of the emotional attachments to those fading memories. You've cut
the cord between yourself and those feelings and memories. Some
of this will come just in the process of life itself. Every day you are
feeling more peace, more healed, more content, more comfortable
in your body. First there is the breakthrough you have made which
is very profound, very significant. That is the main thing. Every
residual memory and feeling will continue to fall by the wayside,
like shedding excess baggage. Letting go now.
Check in if there are any other misconceptions that come to
your conscious mind from your subconscious about anything
you carry with you from that lifetime. You can signal with your
"yes" finger or your "no" finger. Is there any other realization or
misconception or negative attitude that you have continued to
carry with you? (Chris' thumb moves) I'm getting a yes answer.
I'm going to count from three to one and at the count of one you'll
Chris' Terror 365
be able to say something about what you've been carrying with

you up until now. Three, two, one.
CHRIS: It's dangerous to be seen and heard.
RANDAL: Uh huh. I was just looking at that in my notes. It's
dangerous to be seen and heard. That's a misconception you've been
carrying around. Does the feeling that it's dangerous to be seen and
heard come directly from experiences in the concentration camp?
You can signal with your "yes" or "no" finger. (Chris' little finger
moves) There is an "I don't know" signal. Does a significant part
of that feeling come from that experience? (Chris' thumb moves)
The answer to the question is yes. Is there also a significant further
experience that it's not safe to be seen and heard that comes from
your experience as a child in this lifetime as Chris? (Chris' thumb
moves) The answer is yes. Are those the two main experiences that
this comes from? The terrible experiences of that lifetime and the
experiences when you were very young in this lifetime? (Chris'
thumb moves) The answer is yes.
Take a look at the situation here with your adult self and your
higher self, parts of you that can use your life's experience, your
wisdom, your passion, and everything that you, Chris, are. And
to recognize that the child from th~ other life and the child that
is Chris in this lifetime both had terrifying experiences. It was a
very appropriate feeling, a feeling that seemed in one lifetime to be
related to your very survival, and in this lifetime it was extremely
important not to be seen or heard to try and protect yourself. That
was a reasonable feeling for both children.
Chris, now that you are here as a full grown adult, look at that
and determine for yourself if the time has come for you to let go
of the perception that it's not safe to be seen and heard. You've
already signaled that it is a misconception. Has the time come for
you to let go of that? (Chris' thumb moves) The answer is yes. You
recognize that it is a misconception and you recognize that it's time
to let go of it. Feel that release happening now. You are letting go of
that misconception. What' s coming in its place is the recognition
of the truth that it is fine and perfectly safe in your life now to be
seen and to be heard.
Your subconscious mind is getting clear that that was a
conception at the time that you had for a good reason but you no
longer need it now. Does your subconscious mind fully accept that
366 CATIIARSIS IN REGRESSION HYPNOTHERAPY
you no longer need it? (Chris' thumb moves) The answer is yes.
Very good. You have let go of that and continue to release it. Any
residual memories or feelings will continue to wash away in the
days and the weeks ahead. You're continuing to build new neuro-
pathways, expectancies, positive attitudes and trust that you are in
a completely different world now than you were in either one of
those difficult circumstances. Those circumstances are gone now.
You have kept with you some links that were natural for
someone in your circumstances to have, that were so strong they
were hard to get rid of. And you have just let go of them. There is
a tremendous release, a huge burden that is being lifted. You are
feeling lighter and freer and calmer. Look back with your adult
self, recognizing the incredibly difficult experiences the child had
in this lifetime and the child had in the other lifetime. Can you
forgive the child for having made those decisions? (Chris' thumb
moves) The signal is yes, of course you can.
All right, Chris. (Randal hands Chris a pillow) Talk to the child
within you, the child that went through such incredible difficulties.
She's right here with you. Tell her whatever you'd like to say to her.
CHRIS: (crying) I'm sorry you had to go through that. You're
strong. You didn't deserve it. I don't understand it either.
RANDAL: Very good. Switch now and talk to adult Chris. Be
whatever age you are, four or six or ten. Make up an age now. How
old are you?
CHRIS: Five.
RANDAL: All right, five year-old Chris. Talk to adult Chris.
Here she is being supportive of you. She's sorry you had to go
through that. She knows how strong you are and how well you've
done. She doesn't understand it either. What do you want to say
to adult Chris?
CHRIS: Some people were nice to me.
RANDAL: Is the five year-old you're talking to the five year-
old Chris in this lifetime?
CHRIS: I don' t know.
RANDAL: Okay, talking to the five year-old child within.
You say some people were nice to you. That's good. Switch and be
adult Chris and respond.
CHRIS: They can see your light.
RANDAL: That's good. You can see her light, too.
Chris ' Terror 367
CHRIS: Yes I can. You can't put that light out.

RANDAL: That's right. Just see that light around her expanding
more because she's in a safe environment now. She's got a chance
to really blossom. So be the five year-old. You're a very special five
year-old. After everything you went through, that's what you are
saying now. You're quite a special girl, remembering people who
were nice to you.
CHRIS: I'm a fairy.
RANDAL: All right, this child is really blossoming now. She
has a lot of childhood to catch up on. Be a fairy. Dance around. Feel
yourself dancing and being so light. Just fly. It's time for the five
year-old and the three year-old and you at all your different ages
to have a happy childhood. You've got some catching up to do and
that's going to be a lot of fun because it's different now. You have a
safe environment and someone who's really here for you and loves
you and will protect you and keep you safe. Be that dancing, flying
fairy and just take it in. (pause) Now switch and be Chris. Be here
with this beautiful girl. I know you're going to take great care of
her. Is there anything further you'd like to say to her?
CHRIS: She is a fairy.
RANDAL: Say that to her. "You are a fairy."
CHRIS: You are a fairy.
RANDAL: Good.
CHRIS: And you're beautiful.
RANDAL:Nowswitchandbethatbeautifulfairy.Yourecognize
that this is a wonderful world and there is a lot of light. You are a
lot of light. You are a bundle of joy. Chris loves you very much.
I'm talking to this five year-old fairy. You are creating the rules
now. Imagine what it would be like to have a loving mother. You
could have any mother in the world. You could have an imaginary
mother or a real person or make up some combination of attributes
because you can do whatever you want. You are that powerful.
You can have the most wonderful mommy in the world. Tune into
that now. Get a feeling for what your mother looks like or if she has
a name or you just call her Mommy. When you're ready you can go
ahead and describe her.
CHRIS: She's like Chris.
RANDAL: That sounds like a wonderful mommy to have.
Does she look and act like Chris?
CHRIS: Uh huh.
RANDAL: All right. Maybe you can have a mommy that is
Chris. Does that sound good? (Chris nods) Very good. Now
imagine someone, he may not be someone you recognize, but this
is your new daddy. He's a wonderful daddy who is very loving
and peaceful and patient and supportive and very proud of you.
He' s just a perfect daddy. When you get a realization of something
about how he is or what he looks like, then go ahead and say
something about him.
CHRIS: He's big and he's got a beard and he has a big laugh.
He has his quiet times. And he likes to hug. And he likes to play.
He listens to me. He shows me things. He takes me into nature.
He' s gentle. And he tells me the truth. He thinks I'm wonderful.
RANDAL: He thinks you're wonderful because you are. Be
with that daddy now. Five year.:.old child, be with that daddy and
that mommy. You've got this wonderful daddy and mommy. Just
be there together. You can all hold each other and you can give
them each a big hug. (handing a pillow to Chris) Just soak it up.
(pause) Good. Be the mommy now and give your little girl a nice
hug here. There you go. Just feel that beautiful, darling girl. Know
that she is with you always. She is in you always. You gain from
the joy of having this lovely girl to take care of, this delightful,
magical, soaring fairy girl. And that you can be that special fairy
girl and take in all this love from your mommy and daddy.
I'd like you to practice some daily or nightly self-hypnosis. It
can be when you go to bed or a different time. You to do it every day
for awhile. Visualize being with your child and visualize being this
child with these wonderful, loving parents. Just practice doing this
every day. Nurturing and being nurtured. Loving and being loved.
You deserve it. Adult Chris deserves it and child Chris deserves it.
Healing more and more. Comfortable habits of being safe. It's safe
to be seen and safe to be heard. It's safe to be present and safe to be
in your body. Your flame continues to grow brighter and brighter.
For now we'll say goodbye to this child, knowing she will always
be with you. You can finish your hug now. (after a pause, Randal
takes the pillow away) Say goodbye for the moment.
CHRIS: Goodbye.
RANDAL: That's very good. Chris, you continue to feel more
and more peaceful deep within. Now the background is becoming
Chris' Terror 369
a pleasant one. The background and usually the foreground. I say

usually in the foreground because life for all of us sometimes has
its experiences that have to be dealt with. That's life. But it will
be within the context of tremendous peacefulness, strength and
clarity within. It's kind of an enlightened quality that you know
deep down inside that you are safe and you are powerful. You
can feel this deep feeling of trust within. You can trust yourself
for having survived with your spirit and your love intact through
all those terrible experiences and bringing yourself all the way up
until now. And even before now, before today's work with this,
you already were a fairy of life. I could feel it from you all along,
such beautiful, loving energy. You are a natural healer. I know
. you've been incredibly helpful to others, including working with
people who are dying.
You're a joy to be with, Chris. You've always been a joy to
be with but now you've taken a step to the next level and you
are becoming a joy for yourself as well. Before there was this
unfinished stuff that you have now shed, and you can be as
healing and loving to yourself as you have been to others and even
more so. Furthermore, you find you can be even more healing and
present with others, whether it be family members or clients or at
the hospice where you work. You will be even more present and in
your body in the here and now. You don't have to try to do anything,
it's just the way you are. That wonderful, loving, powerful energy
that is Chris becomes even more radiant, even more light.
I encourage you to give a lot of that radiance and that love
and that light to the child within, to the parent within, to the adult
within. Really take good care of yourself because you deserve it.
You deserve to have a chance, in so many ways, to allow that child
to blossom more and more. To allow her to play and to allow you
to play, too. To be creative. To have fun and enjoyment. (to the
class) Before I bring Chris up out of the hypnosis, is there anybody
in the group who would like to say something to her?
ELLA: Chris, this is Ella and I really love you. You're such an
asset to be around. People really love you.
JEAN: Chris, we've always thought you were special and we
still think so and we' re happy for you.
EMILY: Chris, this is Emily. You are such a special person. Your
light shines so brightly that it lights the world.
BOBBY: This is Bobby, Chris. I just love being with you in so

many ways, emotionally and spiritually.
RANDAL: Thank you all. Chris, I'm going to count now from
one to five as I bring you up out of the hypnosis. Number one,
gently and easily begin to come back to your normal waking
consciousness. Two, more and more alert, awake and aware with
every number that I count. Three, coming back. Four, on the next
number you can open your eyes and stretch if you want. Coming
back now, number five. Take your time. (to the group) We'll take a
short break and talk when we come back.
RANDAL: (after the break) Okay, Chris, you've had a chance

to go inward. Is there anything you'd like to say to the group about
your process? That was obviously a very intense session and you
really covered a lot of bases.
CHRIS: Just deep gratitude to all of you for holding that space.
It's such a validation for this work.
RANDAL: This is really from the inside out.
CHRIS: When it started I was concerned that I wasn't going
to go into hypnosis. I feel different inside now. I feel much more
spacious. Something shifted on a deep level. I've done a lot of work
over a long period of time and something was stuck. This felt like
an opportunity to reach that place and move it.
RANDAL: You made a breakthrough with that. Someone
commented during the break about what incredible therapy can
be done with regression work, often so much in just one session.
And one of the things that got you to the point of being able to do
all of this was all the work you've done on yourself up until now.
You were facing your worst fears, facing your terror. This work is
not easy but in a concentrated period of time you can experience a
profound shift through hypnotic regression. It's part of a process
that will unfold in your life.
CHRIS: And just the space to be with it. I've had people tell me
what it's about. "Oh, this is obviously your birth process. You're
coming down the birth canal." (laughing)
RANDAL: Is this a therapist telling you or just a friend?
CHRIS: A psychotherapist, yes.
RANDAL: Perls was such a genius, and he would say, "How
am I supposed to know what this is about?" Through Gestalt he
Chris' Terror 371
would tap people into hypnosis, although he didn't use hypnotic

terms. And through dreamwork or whatever, he'd have them make
discoveries for themselves and trust that experience as reality. I'm
saying that who you are has brought you to the place to be able to
make these changes. It takes the kind of integrity and courage that
you had to face your fears and work through them.
There is a real synchronicity about doing this session in front
of the group. There was this perception you had from your past
experience that it's dangerous to be seen and heard. That was as
tough as dealing with this other terror. I feel that your courage in
doing this in front of the group added so much to the process. You
had this projection on the one hand, but also the intuitive part of
you trusting that this could be a safe place. That made it easier for
you to get in touch with and face the terror, and made it that much
more real for you. Is there anything else you want to say?
CHRIS: There was an interesting time in there when I felt like I
was just spinning and falling.
RANDAL: Was that during the abreaction?
CHRIS: I can't remember exactly when it was but I was listening
to you and wondering if I was going to pass out.
RANDAL: That's a sign of hypnosis, probably combined with
the intense issues you were confronting.
CHRIS: It was like being in a swirling vortex.
RANDAL: Very interesting, Chris. Thank you. (Chris goes
back to her seat) There were so many different processes .that
we worked with. After the clear message that this is an issue of
terror, her signal to be open to her memories and emotions gave
us the greatest opportunity. I am always neutral in the process,
but I was pleased by her affirmative signal because this seemed
to be something that needed to be purged. I was up to about the
number four as I was tapping her into that feeling of terror when
the dam began to burst forth and I started counting a lot faster. It
became a very powerful abreaction from an absolutely terrifying
experience.
Then the enormous release of tension and emotion and terror
was so healing. I had her do a little bit of Gestalt dialogue partly
to get a sense of the reality of the experience of that lifetime and
how this came up. I didn't feel we needed to play that out back
and forth too much. We got a clear sense of what the issues were
and how Chris felt at the time and then it was time to let go of that
world and return to the present. That's always where our issues
ultimately lie.
Chris had just had such a cathartic release that it felt appropriate
to quickly bring her to the here and now to help her move through
the misconceptions she'd kept from that experience. We had
already done a lot of letting go at that point and I wanted explore
those deep-seated beliefs. I don't think there is any one way in
which to work with something. In this particular case I helped her
create an ideal mother and an ideal father. I could have just worked
with the child within, which was very valuable for Chris, but I felt
I was giving something extra, which I often do, to add the vision of
.the child having a wonderful mother and father. It felt particularly
apropos, considering the father she had grown up with.

RANDAL: Hello, Chris. How have you been doing in the last week?
CHRIS: Saturday night after our session I just felt emptied out.
I went home and had a long bath and then I just sat and meditated.
I was really at peace and I felt great. Sunday morning I woke up
and I had a knot in my stomach. What comes up for me, here comes
the irrational stuff, is that I did something really bad by talking
about my father and the home situation. I thought, okay, I'll do
some work with this child. It feels like she's scared about it. Then
the adult is thinking, well, there are the three tenets in Buddhism
which state that our communications should be kind, necessary,
and true. And so I haven't found any peace with that.
RANDAL: Was that in particular about opening up and sharing
the difficulties you had with your father?
CHRIS: Yes. I told too much. I shouldn't have done that. It
felt like the child from the concentration camp is relieved. It's still
horrible and it's still there, but there is space in that. I got to cry a
lot about that. Just grief, and that felt good.
RANDAL: A cord was cut which gave separation from the
initial sensitizing events and that's a significant part of the healing
that you're experiencing. But there is this other thing going on.
CHRIS: Right.
RANDAL: It's interesting that there were these misconceptions
you got from those experiences about not being safe to be in a body
Chris' Terror 373
and not being safe to be seen and heard and also being exposed. I
think that's enmeshed with other kinds of things that have been a
part of you and part of your morals and so forth. You asked, is it
necessary, is it kind, is it true.
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: There is no question that in your healing process
you needed to deal with these things. I feel you're being kind to
yourself here in the sense that this is all very confidential. In the
big picture we can certainly look at the struggles of your father
or anyone else. There is always a reason or a story, which doesn't'
excuse his behavior. If we were to look at his life we would have
a greater understanding of him. I'm feeling like there is one of
two things here. That knot in your stomach could come from the
tremendous breakthrough in which you really bared your soul with
us. Or there is a kind of knee jerk subconscious reaction to being
so vulnerable and so out there. One of the positive things about
this is that the part of you that felt uncomfortable was regarding
the specific aspect of issues about your father. You experienced
and moved through your terror in so many ways, and you were
so present and so vulnerable and open. For you to have that as the
only residual major discomfort from this incredibly challenging
and personal experience is terrific.
CHRIS: That's right.
RANDAL: I think that part of the solution is just to acknowledge
this, as you're doing. To say, hey, this is within the context of the
way I experienced it. That may be just what you need to do with
this and let things settle. It's conceivable that there is something
residual that could benefit from further explorations. We can check
in next week and if necessary we could do a follow-up session. It
could even start with a little Gestalt process in which you become
that knot in your stomach and see where that goes, and it's possible
that could get resolved in a brief session. (To this point, Randal is
being careful to frame options positively, not wanting to suggest
or pressure someone who was initially volunteering for a single
session to come in for further sessions.) I'm just throwing out these
ideas. I'm open to any feedback or response you have.
CHRIS: I've tried .to work with it and it just feels old and deep.
It's opened something up that actually felt like it was smoothed
over, like it's opened up some energy between me and my father.
RANDAL: This is obviously something important. With this

additional information I feel that there is something unfinished
here, something separate but linked. You dealt with core issues
regarding your terror but there is this other issue that is also
significant. You know I'm not taking private sessions, but
sometimes when I've done a session in class and the person needs
a follow-up from that, I will see that person for a private session
if that is preferred. Maybe it will just be a matter of talking it out
instead of a session, but I'm giving you the option of exploring
this further if you want to. It's your choice to either do a follow-up
session in class or privately. You can talk to me after the class if you
have a decision already or you can let me know later. Does it sound
good to have these options?
CHRIS: Yes. Actually, it feels like a big relief.
RANDAL: Good. You made a powerful breakthrough in the
last session and it led you into this. There is something more that
goes deep and goes way back. That's something that you'll be
able to deal with effectively in another session. Other than that it
sounds like you feel clear, you feel finished, you feel relieved, as
far as the terror issue.
CHRIS: There has been a huge shift. And there is something
there that I'd like to unearth so that I can really embrace the whole
thing.
RANDAL: Yes, and it feels like you're most of the way there.
CHRIS: Saturday night I had such peace in my soul. It was
wonderful.
RANDAL: You're at peace with the core issue you worked on,
and the session helped you to unearth this other thing. It's going
to give you all the more peace to deal with that. Thank you very
much. Do you have any other thoughts?
CHRIS: Just that I'm really grateful.
RANDAL: I'm very glad for the work that we did. Thank you,
Chris. (applause)
CHAPTER 20
Chris' Guilt
Exposing the Abusive Father
RANDAL: (in a private session with Chris two weeks after the
session in class which was transcribed in the previous chapter) One
of the important things you said about our last session is that there
were two five year-olds. The five year-old from the concentration
camp and the five year-old from this life. Let's start from there.
CHRIS: All right. I was at peace Saturday night after the session
and then Sunday I had a knot of fear in my stomach. It felt like there
were two five year-olds. The one from the concentration camp felt
taken care of and the other one felt more fearful about why we had
talked about my father. What if he found out, and just ridiculous
stuff. Then when I tried to do some Gestalt the adult was like, well,
is it true, is it necessary, is it kind? Why had I said all that in front
of everyone when it hadn't come up in the session? It felt like some
energy got stirred up there.
RANDAL: This makes sense when you consider all your
childhood traumas regarding your father, combined with having
to hold back your feelings.
CHRIS: Yes. The only person who could have any feelings was
my father. If anything went wrong we hid it and we were scared.
If we did bad in school we were terrified. There was no anger.
No one else could have anger. No one else's feelings were valid.
Anything that wasn't in agreement with him was defiance. It was
almost like having to become psychic around him, to figure out
what his mood was to know what to say and what not to say.
RANDAL: You were trying to keep him from getting upset.

CHRIS: Yes. Like I was prescribed Valium when I was 16 or
17. My mother said, "Don't let your father find out." It was really
crazy-making. Also the depersonalization of the individual was
one of the things I felt bad about. You know, we used a code name
to refer to him. My mom was in on this, too.
RANDAL: Was referring to him in code a kind of passive-
aggressive thing toward him or was it a way of trying to keep
things so low key that if he heard he wouldn't know?
CHRIS: I think it was probably both.
RANDAL: One of your key points was that the five year-old
from the concentration camp felt resolved and you can continue
that healing with positive suggestions and visualizations in self-
hypnosis; whereas the five year-old that is you in this lifetime feels
there is this related issue that came to the surface when the other
issue started to recede.
CHRIS: Yes. Regarding the first five year-old, before I did the
regression with you I'd done a breathwork session in a group and
gotten that response of gasping and not being able to breathe. I
didn't know what that was. And then after we had our session I
feel like I'm not going to have to go through that again.
RANDAL: I know you felt real relief during that session. There
were some huge shifts and you cleared away so much.
CHRIS: Yes, but I don't enjoy the fear response my body goes
into. Very often it's way out of proportion to what I'm doing and it
still feels related to not being safe to be seen or heard. I don't enjoy
that at all and it doesn't make any sense.
RANDAL: It's really obvious, though. You can see the
connection to what you grew up with and how you respond as a
result. You mentioned when you arrived how nervous you've been
today and that you've had to go to the bathroom a lot. Or were you
throwing up?
CHRIS: I felt sick and just anything I ate was going right
through me.
RANDAL: And I said that's fine even though it doesn't feel
good. It's a sign that you realize there is something important here.
CHRIS: And there is nothing I'd rather be doing.
RANDAL: So in spite of the unpleasantness of that response
you feel a real commitment to work with this.
Chris ' Guilt 377
CHRIS: Oh, yes. I'll take this as far as it needs to go.

RANDAL: I know you've worked on issues with your father.
Are there any other insights in the past couple of weeks since the
session?
CHRIS: It did resonate with me when I talked about a black
hole around my childhood. I'd never said that before but it really
seemed to fit.
RANDAL: By black hole do you mean an empty feeling or
blocking your memories or what?
CHRIS: Blocked, empty. What I don't remember is more of the
same, I'm sure. But like, where was my childhood? That bridge
with the past, what happened to that childhood?
RANDAL: So much of your life was spent trying to keep your
father from going into his rage that you really weren't able to have
much of a childhood. Are you ready for some hypnosis?
SUE: Yes. Well, I do have a desire at some stage to end up with
my arm levitated and not know why I can't get it down. (laughing)
That's my kid.
RANDAL: Oh, good. Your child is coming out now. That's a
good sign. Here we go. (Randal holds up his hand) I'd like you
to look at the two outside fingers as they move toward your face.
Take a nice deep breath and fill up your lungs. Exhale and follow
my fingers down until your eyelids close. (Chris' eyes close and
Randal leads her through a series of rapid induction methods)
Now, Chris, I'd like you to put your attention onto the hand
that you're going to be using your ideomotor responses with. I
have in my notes the signals that you used last time but I'm just
going to check to see if they're the same. (Randal checks and Chris'
signals are the same. Her thumb is her "yes" finger, her middle
finger is her "no" finger, and her index finger is her "I don't know"
finger.) If for some reason I ask you a question that you don't know
how to answer you can signal with your little finger. I will do my
best to ask questions is such a way that you can correctly answer
yes or no.
I'm going to ask your subconscious mind some questions.
Take your time and allow your subconscious mind to respond
in whatever way it wants to. The issue that we're dealing with
is about what came up for you around exposing your father. The
awkwardness and discomfort of that feeling, including guilt.
Here's a question. Is it safe and appropriate for you to be open

to any and all memories having to do with this issue of exposing
your father? (Chris' thumb moves) You've signaled yes. The next
question, is it safe and appropriate for you to be open to your
emotions as you recall any memories that have to with this feeling
of guilt or exposing your father? (Chris' thumb moves) And the
answer is yes.
Chris, I want to remind you that you have tremendous resources
at your disposal. You can tune in to your spiritual depth and to the
support you have around you. You can be aware that you have
tremendous strength inside of you and outside of you to help you
go through this successfully. In a moment I'm going to count from
one to ten. With each number that I count you become aware of
this feeling that has to do with guilt about exposing your father.
You talked about him being a rage-aholic and an alcoholic. You put
that out there and felt the guilt that came up from that feeling.
Number one, two, three, feeling the fear of exposing your father.
Four, five, six, perhaps the fear of exposing your own feelings.
Seven, feeling that feeling more strongly with every number that
I count. Eight, whatever that feeling is, guilt or fear or terror, that
has to do with exposing your father. Nine, feeling that feeling you
woke up with the other morning more and more strongly. Feeling
that knot in your stomach. Let that feeling grow stronger now.
Number ten. That knot in your stomach, that feeling of fear or of
having done something wrong.
I'm going to count from ten down to one as you go back to an
earlier time when you felt that same kind of feeling. Number ten,
stay with your feeling. Number nine, going back in time. Number
eight, being afraid. Feeling guilty. Feeling terrified. Whatever that
feeling is of exposing yourself or your father. Seven, six, going
back in time. (Chris begins to cry softly and shake) Stay with
your feelings. It's okay to cry. Five, four, three, two, let your body
shake. That's good. One, you're back there. Stay with the feeling.
I'm going to ask you some quick questions and you'll be able to
respond verbally. Is it nighttime or daytime? Pick one.
CHRIS: (crying) Nighttime.
CHRIS: With others.
RANDAL: Are you inside or outside?
Chris' Guilt 379
CHRIS: Inside.
CHRIS: No.
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: Are you between 10and15 years-old?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: How old are you? What pops into your mind?
CHRIS: Thirteen.
RANDAL: You said you're inside. Are you home or somewhere
else?
CHRIS: Home.
RANDAL: What room are you in?
CHRIS: The kitchen.
RANDAL: Who are you with?
CHRIS: (sounding scared) My father.
RANDAL: Is it just the two of you?
CHRIS: No. My mother.
RANDAL: Okay, your mother is there, too. That's the scene.
What's happening, Chris?
CHRIS: He's raging at me.
RANDAL: How does it feel as he's raging at you?
CHRIS: Terrifying.
RANDAL: You're terrified. Has he raged at you before?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: Is this something similar to what he's done before?
CHRIS: It's different.
RANDAL: How is it different this time?
CHRIS: I didn't know I had done anything wrong.
RANDAL: Is he raging at you for some particular reason?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: Is he upset at you for doing something you didn't
realize would be wrong?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: So what is he raging at you for having done?
CHRIS: I invited a friend of my brother's to a dance.
RANDAL: And he's raging at you for that?
CHRIS: He doesn't like him. He thinks I did it to defy him. He
hit me and I... (voice trails off)
RANDAL: Is that how it started, he just suddenly hit you?

CHRIS: No, he raged at me and then he hit me.
RANDAL: Stay with your feelings. Get in touch with your
body. It's okay to cry. Breathe down into your stomach and let out
any sounds that need to come out. (Chris is sobbing) It's okay to
cry now. You're safe here but stay with how it feels.
CHRIS: I wet myself.
RANDAL: Stay with your feeling. Do you say anything to your
father?
CHRIS: No.
RANDAL: Why don't you say anything to your father?
CHRIS: I can't.
RANDAL: You can't say anything because he'd go even more
ballistic. Keep breathing down into your stomach. (Chris is crying
softly) It's okay to let any sounds out. It's different now. You can
let sounds out. At the time this happens do you hold back your
tears?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: Because you don't dare show your feelings?
CHRIS: I'm too terrified to cry.
RANDAL: Well, now you can cry. It's safe for you. Imagine
that you're in that scene and you're 13 years-old, but imagine what
it would have been like if you'd been rescued from your father.
That you're never going to have to deal with him again if you don't
want to. There is Plexiglas between you and him and I'm helping
to protect you. You have all the protection you need. You can say
whatever you want to say to him. What would you tell him if you
know you're completely protected now? Tell him the truth about
how you feel about him.
CHRIS: (choking and sobbing) You're evil!
RANDAL: That's good. It's okay to cry. You can let sounds
out. Breathe. (Chris begins to moan) That's good. Keep breathing
and as you exhale let some sound out. It's good to cry. (Chris is
making sounds as she cries) You weren't able to cry before but it's
okay to cry now. It's safe to cry now. You told him that he's evil.
What does your father say in response to that? He's behind that
Plexiglas. He can't touch you. All he can do is say what he's going
to say.
CHRIS: He'll fucking kill me.
Chris' Guilt 381
RANDAL: Remember, you're protected from him. He's never

going to be able to touch you again. He's never going to be able to
hit you again. You're dealing with his anger now but you're safe
from his physical assault and you'll continue to be safe from that.
What do you want to tell him when he says he's going to kill you?
What do you say if you could tell him just how you feel?
CHRIS: No you won't.
RANDAL: Good for you. Go inside your body and tell me
what you feel.
CHRIS: My throat is really tight.
RANDAL: Okay, let some sound out. (Randal makes an
"ahhhh" sound)
CHRIS: (choking) Ahhhh.
RANDAL: (Randal holds a pillow out to Chris) Grab this
pillow now and say, "I hate you!" Talk to your father.
CHRIS: I hate what you do.
RANDAL: Good. "I hate how you treat me."
CHRIS: I hate how you treat us all.
RANDAL: Good. Tell him that.
CHRIS: You've got no right.
RANDAL: That's right. Tell him, "You're evil."
CHRIS: Evil comes through you.
CHRIS: Ahhhh. (crying)
RANDAL: You can tell him how you feel.
CHRIS: (crying and choking) I'm thinking of another time
when I'm sitting at the table.
RANDAL: Yes.
CHRIS: There's a fight going on and he drags my mother into
the other room.
RANDAL: Was this over dinner?
CHRIS: It was lunch time and I could hear all this banging. I
was sitting at the table one minute and in the next minute I was in
the other room screaming at him to leave her alone. (sobbing and
choking out the words)
RANDAL: Good for you.
CHRIS: He was pulling her around by her hair (sobbing) and
he ripped her dress. And I was standing there screaming at him
and I didn't remember getting up from the table.
RANDAL: Good for you for telling him off. (Chris begins to
gag) Let me get something for you if you need to throw up. (Randal
brings a wastebasket as Chris chokes) It's okay. It's okay to get it
out. (Chris spits up into the basket) Let me get you a napkin.
CHRIS: I'm okay. (continues to cry)
RANDAL: If you need a tissue it's here. Stay with your feelings.
Good for you for telling your father off. Is there anything further to
report about that scene?
CHRIS: He stopped. He was so shocked by me.
RANDAL: Good for you. You were able to get him to stop.
CHRIS: He was pulling her hair and ripping her clothes and
punching her. And my mother made a dress for me of that same
material to remind him of that time and had me wear it.
RANDAL: How did that feel?
CHRIS: It was yellow.
RANDAL: Here's a tissue. (Chris wipes her face) How old are
you when that happens?
CHRIS: Nine or ten. Maybe eight.
RANDAL: In spite of your terror you did what you could and
it worked.
CHRIS: I don't know how I got from the table to the other
room. I was scared when I realized I was screaming at him.
RANDAL: That was quite a heroic thing for you to do. You were
just a little girl in those terrible circumstances. You did something
that was extremely threatening and dangerous and yet you did
it. And it worked. Good for you. That shows heroism on your
part.
CHRIS: (sobbing) I'm remembering another time when he had
my brother pinned down on the sofa and was punching him. I
didn't know what to do.
RANDAL: How old are you when this happens?
CHRIS: I'm about seven.
RANDAL: So there he is punching your brother and you don't
know what to do and you're terrified. Is that right?
CHRIS: (crying while speaking) I remember another time when
I was in bed and I could hear something going on. It was a time
when his sister was staying with us. They were arguing upstairs
and he got a gun out and he was going to kill her. I didn't know if
he was going to shoot her or not.
Chris ' Guilt 383
RANDAL: That's terrible. You knew that he got a gun out.

Could you see it or were you just hearing it?
CHRIS: I was hearing it. Someone was screaming at him to put
the gun away.
RANDAL: About how old are you when this happens?
CHRIS: I don't know. Pretty young.
RANDAL: Even younger than seven?
CHRIS: Yes. (Note that in the previous session Chris said her
only memory before age eight was the terror of being dropped off
the first time at school.)
RANDAL: So you're remembering memories further and
further back now. These memories go on and on, don't they? One
memory after another of your father's rage and the terror of having
to deal with that. Did this go on when you were just a baby as well?
CHRIS: I don't know.
RANDAL: Go inside your body. What do you feel inside
your body right now? I'm going to take away the pillow. (Randal
removes the pillow)
CHRIS: I want to get really small.
RANDAL: All right, get really small.
CHRIS: (Chris pulls her legs up toward her stomach and turns
on her side, with her fists clenched) Because I don't feel safe.
RANDAL: You're curling up. That's good. You're curling up
your arms and your legs. Feel yourself getting really small. What
do you feel in your body right now? Your legs are curled up and
even your toes are curled up. Your arms are crossed over you and
your fists are closed up. Feel what you feel in your body right now
and breathe.
CHRIS: I feel tense and I feel like I'm going to throw up. My
stomach hurts.
RANDAL: Do you feel the tension just in your stomach or
elsewhere as well?
CHRIS: Everywhere but especially in my stomach. It's hard to
describe what it feels like.
RANDAL: Can you tell if it has a shape or a size? Does it move
or stay still? Describe it in any way you can.
CHRIS: It's heavy and it's very dark. And it's sore.
RANDAL: I want you to get that stuff out of your stomach.
Now imagine that you're much bigger and stronger or that your
father has shrunk down so you can really grab him and tell him
how you feel. Be heavy. Put your weight onto him by pushing
into him like this. (Randal puts the pillow against Chris on the
sofa, moves her hands to it, and guides her upper shoulder down
toward the pillow) Say whatever you want to say, like, "I hate what
you do."
CHRIS: I hate what you did. I hate how you were.
RANDAL: Say it as though it's happening in the present.
CHRIS: I hate how you are. I hate what you do.
CHRIS: I hate you!
RANDAL: Begin to bear down on him now. Say, " I'm bearing
down on you."
CHRIS: I'm bearing down on you!
RANDAL: That's right. You're doing very well. Put that same
dark energy back in him that he was putting out into the world.
That same poisonous energy. Put it back into him now, back into
that source. Put it into that pillow. Put it all into him. (Chris is
sobbing as she puts her full weight on the pillow) Tell him, "Here
is your evil energy back."
CHRIS: Here is your energy back to you.
CHRIS: (crying louder, Chris moves back on her side) I feel
sorry for you.
RANDAL: Okay. I'm putting the pillow aside. Tell him what
you feel sorry for him about.
CHRIS: You don't know any joy. You don't know anything.
You don't know how to be loved. You just have to think you know
everything so you can tell everybody else what to do but you
didn't learn anything. You keep telling us what we're doing wrong
and why you're right and why we make you behave the way you
do. You don't take responsibility for anything. It's always someone
else's fault.
RANDAL: That's good. You're telling him the truth now. If he
were to say something in response, what does he say?
CHRIS: If he didn't have a family he would be doing things he
liked doing.
RANDAL: So he's blaming you again, isn't he? Blaming other
people. What do you say to him about that?
Chris ' Guilt 385
CHRIS: You should have thought of that before.

RANDAL: What is his response?
CHRIS: He wished he had.
RANDAL: Be Chris. Do you want to say something further to
your father? (pause) Breathe down into your stomach.
CHRIS: You wasted your life.
RANDAL: His response?
CHRIS: He knows that.
RANDAL: Go inside your body now. What do you feel inside
your body?
CHRIS: I feel lighter.
RANDAL: What do you feel in your hands? (Chris' hands are
in fists) Just stay with the feeling or feel it even more.
CHRIS: They feel like his hands.
RANDAL: What do his hands do?
CHRIS: They hurt.
RANDAL: Okay. Time for you to punch. Let's get that energy
out of you. It doesn't belong in you, Chris. The way to get it out of
you is to hit him back. He hits other people and now you hit him
back. (holding a large pillow in front of her)
CHRIS: Is it okay?
RANDAL: It's fine. Hit this pillow and let it symbolize the part
of him that does that. Hit him as hard as you want. (Chris begins
to jab at the pillow tentatively and then pummels it rapidly) That's
good! Hit! Hit!
CHRIS: (As she hits) Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
RANDAL: That's good. Get it out. Now think of that part of
him that hurts with his hands and say, "I hate you!"
CHRIS: (still pummeling the pillow strongly) I hate you! I hate
you! I hate you! (Chris continues to hit hard with her fists and
shout "I hate you" for several minutes until her energy is spent)
RANDAL: You're doing great, Chris. Go inside your body.
What do you feel?
CHRIS: Oh, wow. Stirred up.
RANDAL: You bet. What do you feel in different parts of your
body?
CHRIS: I feel shaky.
RANDAL: And you are shaking, so allow yourself to shake.
You're getting that energy out by shaking. What else do you feel?
CHRIS: (laughing) I want to hit some more.

RANDAL: I think so. I see your hands are still in fists. All right,
let's get it out. You're doing very well. There's so much from so
many years. Remember, what you're hitting is the part of him that
does that. I know there's a human being in there somewhere but
you' re giving back the energy that's his energy. (Randal holds the
pillow up and Chris begins hitting it hard and rapidly) "I hate
you!"
CHRIS: I hate you! I hate you! You fucking goon! I hate what
you do! (crying and eventually hitting more slowly until she stops,
gulping in big breaths of air)
RANDAL: (also breathing heavily from holding the pillow)
Breathe down into your stomach. Your knees are up and I'm going
to stretch your legs out now. (Randal pulls her legs out) All right.
I'm going to help you relax your arms back down. (Randal stretches
her arms out at her sides) That's it. Your hands are more relaxed
now. That's good. Stay in touch with your body. Feel inside your
body. You're doing great. Stay with it. How do you feel right now?
CHRIS: (pause) I feel angry.
RANDAL: All right. What do you want to say to your father?
Say anything you want.
CHRIS: I'm not sure who I'm angry at.
RANDAL: Without even trying to figure out who it is, what is
your anger about?
CHRIS: I just feel it in my body.
RANDAL: You feel that anger that was permeating your
existence for all those years. You've been getting it out and you're
doing a great job but you're still feeling that there is some more
there.
CHRIS: Anger and terror.
RANDAL: What do you want to say to your father?
CHRIS: Why? Why? Why?!
RANDAL: What does he say back?
CHRIS: He says it just comes over him.
RANDAL: Do you want to talk to him about taking
responsibility? He says it just comes over him as though it just
happens to him.
CHRIS: Why don't you just own it? Why don't you just
acknowledge it? You have some power in this. You make your choices.
Chris' Guilt 387
RANDAL: Tell him that, rather than asking questions. Say,

"Start owning this! Recognize that you're making your choices."
Make statements.
CHRIS: Recognize that you're making your choices. You just
do this and the next day you send flowers to my mother and say
you love her and forgive me and I love you, I love you. Well, stuff
your fucking flowers. Just don't do it again.
RANDAL: Good. What does he say in response to that?
CHRIS: He calls me a bitch.
RANDAL: So this is the situation. What do you say?
CHRIS: I could say it in an even better way.
RANDAL: And what is that way?
CHRIS: I would forgive you if you asked for forgiveness and
just did everything you could not to do it again. No matter what
happens around you, no matter how you can justify it, you make
a choice. Take a walk, go out, whatever. Just don't bring it back
here.
RANDAL: What is his response?
CHRIS: It deflated him a bit.
RANDAL: So you've actually gotten across to him again.
CHRIS: He says something about some pills he's taking but then
he stopped. He was about to blame something but he stopped.
RANDAL: He caught himself. Good.
CHRIS: He looked at me and stopped. He hasn't said
anything.
RANDAL: You got him to become more aware. There is some
real improvement happening here. He's catching himself when he
starts to blame something.
CHRIS: He's looking like he wants someone to go over and feel
.sorry for him.
RANDAL: Keep your center.
CHRIS: He looks like a kid.
RANDAL: Watch him looking like a kid. Recognize his behavior
is a sign of being stuck in tantrums like a child. Even the part of
you that is just a girl can see him for what he is, a child throwing
tantrums.
CHRIS: A bully.
RANDAL: Yes, a bully. And since he's bigger and stronger he's
been able to get away with a lot of things. He's a child throwing
tantrums. He's been able to get his way at times but it really hasn't
worked for him and it certainly hasn't worked for anyone else.
See him and recognize that very clearly. That's all he is. A little
bully. I know when you were a child growing up he was so much
bigger than you and things were different then. But you are no
longer a child growing up and the part of you that is an inner child
can now see him from a new perspective. He's just this little boy
throwing tantrums. He can't touch you anymore. Something else
is also happening and that is that the little boy who was throwing
tantrums is beginning to stop and think. He starts to put the blame
outside of himself and then he catches himself. You're starting to
get through to him. That's very good.
CHRIS: I still don't trust him.
RANDAL: Of course you don't. You've reached him to some
degree and he's got a lot more steps to go. You've been powerful
enough to cause someone who was so obsessed and stuck to stop
and hear you and think. He wasn't doing these things before. Of
course he's got a long way to go but you've made a dent in that
armor. And you don't have any illusions about him. You recognize
that he still has a tremendous number of problems but your
communications are working. First and foremost, you're getting
that energy out of your system and giving it back to its source.
He's got his own work to do if he chooses to do it. That's his
path. What you're doing right now, Chris, is releasing his stuff.
You're purging your body and your mind and your emotions
and your spirit. You're cleansing yourself of his stuff. Meanwhile
your body, your mind, your spirit, your heart, are all healing. Any
remaining residual tension is continuing to drain out of your body.
Go inside your body right now. What do you feel?
CHRIS: My ovaries hurt.
RANDAL: Feel that pain in your ovaries. When I touch you
on the shoulder I'd like you to be your ovaries and say something
about what you're feeling right now. Three, two, one. (Randal taps
her on the shoulder) What do you want to say?
CHRIS: I was hurt. It's not safe
RANDAL: It's not safe for what?
CHRIS: It's not safe to be in here. It's not safe to be a woman.
RANDAL: That's one of the misconceptions you got. When
you were growing up it wasn't a misconception. It was a fact. It
Chris' Guilt 389
wasn't safe to be a woman, to be a girl, to be a child. It was not safe

in your household.
CHRIS: I didn't feel safe being a woman in my house.
RANDAL: Are you talking about as a child or as an adult?
CHRIS: Both. I started my period when I was 10 and I didn't
want that. It didn't feel safe.
RANDAL: That's very understandable but let me hear it in
your own words. Why wasn't it safe to get your period at 10 years-
old? Why is it not safe to be a woman?
CHRIS: I don't trust my father.
RANDAL: You don't trust your father in terms of the
beatings?
CHRIS: In general. I never wanted to take off too many clothes
when I went to bed in case I had to run out of the house into the
street to save myself.
RANDAL: I would like you to bring your higher self into this
now. Your higher self has been here all along. You've gotten some
of your insights from your higher self already. This decision you
made at a young age that it's not safe to be a woman, what does
your higher self have to say to you about that?
CHRIS: That it was true and now the healing comes through
the feminine.
RANDAL: That was true, yes. How about now? You say the
healing comes through the feminine. Does that mean that being
feminine is a big part of the way to heal yourself, a way to heal
others, all of the above, or what?
CHRIS: All of the above.
RANDAL: Does your higher self feel that it is safe to be a
woman now in your life or that you can make it safe? Would either
of those be true?
CHRIS: I can make it safe.
RANDAL: How do you make it safe?
CHRIS: With the self-defense I've learned and by being awake
and aware.
RANDAL: So you can make it safe. You're an adult now and
you're a strong, awake, aware, conscious woman who is in good
condition and has training in self-defense. All of that. Would it be
fair to say that, taking all these things into account, you are making
it safe and will continue to make it safe to be a woman?
CHRIS: As much as I can. It's never safe to be a woman.

RANDAL: That's a strong statement. You say it's never safe.
Aren't there some times when it's safe? There are times when it's
safe and times when you're vulnerable?
CHRIS: It's never guaranteed that you're safe as a woman.
RANDAL: All right. It's never guaranteed to be safe to be a
woman. But you can make yourself more safe?
CHRIS: I can make it more safe.
RANDAL: Okay.
CHRIS: But I can't always. I don't like that. I like to go out
alone in nature but it's not safe to do that. When I'm in the desert
and I'm afraid, it's that there will be a man there. I'm not afraid of
snakes or anything like that.
RANDAL: I certainly understand what you say and I'm
wondering whether you can reframe that. Anything can happen to
any of us at any time and even a man can get hurt by another man,
in nature or otherwise. I'm wondering if you can take reasonable
precautions so that you can have a great likelihood of being safe
at any time.
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: Good, because what I'm concerned about, Chris, is
that if you have an attitude that's a really deep part of you that
it's never safe at any time to be a woman, whether you might
sometimes draw that negative energy or just not be very relaxed
or accomplish as much by being on guard. I'm wondering if you
use your intelligence, your wits, and so forth, if somehow you can
be in situations, including being alone in nature, where you have
an extremely good likelihood of being safe.
CHRIS: I do that.
RANDAL: So technically I understand what you're saying
and I'm not making light of that. A sudden medical emergency
or a nuclear bomb or terrorist act could happen at any given time,
for that matter, and I know there are such possibilities. But I'm
concerned that you recognize that you can live your life so that
at any given time you have an overwhelming likelihood of being
safe. You can focus on the peace and tranquility of that safety
rather than the chance that something bad or dangerous might
happen.
CHRIS: I can do that.
Chris' Guilt 391
RANDAL: One of the things we're dealing with right now

is the child's way of looking at things. You can let go of certain
aspects of that, keeping certain obvious understandings for your
protection and so forth, but recognizing that you have all the
wherewithal now in your life to have the extreme likelihood at
any given moment of being safe. It's important for you to be able
to trust life. You've been safe this hour and the hour before. You
haven't been attacked by a man in a long time and if you're taking
reasonable precautions you'll have an extreme likelihood at any
given moment, any given hour, any given day, of being very safe.
In the very rare event that something should in some way
threaten you at some time, you have various means of protection,
including your heart, your love, and your positive energy. By
creating a mental expectancy of positive things happening and
being reasonable and prepared in your actions and activities, that
combination will be extremely likely to keep you safe. Does that
feel correct to you?
CHRIS: That feels fine.
RANDAL: Good. I think we need to have a balance in our
lives and there are a lot of truths that you are aware of. There are
significant issues for women in society but you also recognize that
in spite of those negatives out there, there are a tremendous number
of positives. You are far advanced from the horrors that you had
to face as a child. It's time to let go of them and recognize that
they no longer exist in your life in the here and now. I'm making
a statement and you can tell me whether that statement is true or
false.
CHRIS: It's true. I've got a lot of love in my life.
RANDAL: So you can appreciate it. There was an overwhelming
experience that happened over and over again in your childhood,
but that was then and this is now. What you have in your life now
is incomparable to what you had then. In fact you're going to find
that there was a weight before that is being lifted from you. It was
a perspective that was affecting you here and there all along, Chris.
You've had so much growth in your life, so many positive aspects.
You've had a lot of love, a lot of good energy, and you've come so
far. You're finding that the stuff that was there in the background
that was still having its affect, that filter, is fading away. What
you're left with and what you continue to open yourself up to is
the tremendous amount of love and good energy that is around

you. I'd like you to be in touch with that now. Go inside your body.
How do you feel right now?
CHRIS: I feel fine now.
RANDAL: Good. We'll begin to wrap up this session. You can
stay here for a few minutes if you'd like while I go into the other
room and then I'll come back. Would you like that?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: (comes back a few minutes later) How are you
doing? Are you feeling okay?
CHRIS: You're very loving.
RANDAL: Thank you very much. And you're very loving too,
Chris. It's astounding how far you've come in your life with all
of the horrors you had to grow up with as a child. I know you've
worked a lot on yourself and it feels like you're continuing to push
the veils away and let in the light and the loving energy that is
out there. You can be so much more relaxed in so many areas of
your life. At home, in nature, at work. Your subconscious mind is
continuing to learn a great deal. It's continuing to heal, to let go of
the negative and to be receptive to the tremendous positive things
that are out there. There is a growing understanding, a growing
sense of peace and tranquility and safety.
Expectations tend to be realized. If you're doing things
reasonably intelligently, then you can expect good things to happen.
You can expect to be safe. Your subconscious mind continues to
understand that on a deeper and deeper level. You're feeling more
and more comfort being in your body and being in your life. You
also have my complete permission to get completely enlightened
and have this be your last incarnation. That's perfectly fine, too. ·
In fact I suspect that the very act of learning to feel comfortable in
your body, to be at ease and at peace in your heart, in your soul,
in your life, may be just the thing that helps you to be free. Isn't it
interesting how this all works? Is there anything further that you'd
like to say or to ask before I take you out of the hypnosis?
CHRIS: I still don't trust him even if I've forgiven him.
RANDAL: That makes a lot of sense. It's good to have some
balance in this, to have the recognition of the reality of the situation.
If you're ready to forgive him, that does a lot of good to the world.
It helps you and it helps him.
Chris' Guilt 393
CHRIS: I expect the best of him now.

RANDAL: That's fine. Is he still alive?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: I realize that he has a long way to go but I've seen
over and over again, with the kind of work you're doing here, that
sometimes it has an effect on the etheric plane. Did you say you
expect the best from him? (Chris nods) You might have some good
surprises.
CHRIS: If I have to come back again I don't want to go through
this with him again.
RANDAL: How about if you say, "If I choose to come back
again I won't go through this with him."
CHRIS: If I choose to come back again I'll be at peace with him.
RANDAL: Good. You can say, "It's my decision whether to
come back again."
CHRIS: It's my decision whether to come back again.
RANDAL: And now it's your decision to begin to come back to
full conscious awareness. Take your time and begin to come back
now. (after a pause Chris opens her eyes) How are you doing?
CHRIS: (big sigh) I'm okay.
RANDAL: This was a big step. Things are continuing to sort
themselves out. You said you were feeling better about it. How are
you feeling now?
CHRIS: My stomach is having little contractions. I feel very
sober. I have a lot to sift through. (giggles)
RANDAL: There was a lot of stuff and you came a long way.
You may find that the world opens up and some things lighten up
in surprising ways in the next few days. There is a lot to sort out.
CHRIS: What I'm getting is that there is so much love in my
life and I'm very loving and compassionate. And I'm very positive.
But there was this undercurrent and now I'm really in touch with
how strong that undercurrent still was. It hadn't gone away, it was
just pushed to one side.
RANDAL: Kind of in the background, like background noise.
I feel very strongly that you've let go of a lot of this undercurrent.
Things will be settling and shifting in the days ahead but you're
going to be finding that there will be a lot more lightness.
CHRIS: I'm so grateful for this. You can't imagine. It's really
spurred me on even more around hypnotherapy. Not that I needed
to be spurred on. I'm noticing that I still haven't got my childhood

back, but I'm not sure I need it.
RANDAL: You can create your own inner childhood and I
encourage you to do that with your inner child.
CHRIS: What it's like is going into the basement and sorting
through all the junk and the mess. I liked when you had me go into
my ovaries and become that.
RANDAL: That felt really deep. It felt like it hit a lot of layers.
CHRIS: I'm glad you were saying what you did about reframing
it because I go to the desert and I do some incredibly daring things,
but something shifted when you said that. We do what we can
with good intention and trust, and that's what I do.
Interview One Month Later

CHRIS: After the past life regression session, when I woke up
the next day, I felt that there were two five year-olds that were
split. They were like the light and the dark. The one from the past
life regression was the light. The other one, which felt more related
to this thing with my father, was the dark side. She was terrified
and betrayed. The feeling was a sense of betrayal.
RANDAL: That's well put.
CHRIS: The other thing that came up about not getting my
childhood back is that I did have memories from that period but
there is nothing before whatever age we came up with and there
never has been. That still feels a little strange.
RANDAL: Actually, you did bring back a couple of additional
important memories before the age of eight. I know that after the
first regression you felt a real relief that night and then the next
morning there was the issue with the two five year-olds and the
realization that it was uncovering something new.
CHRIS: The thing I'm still caught on is that there are no
memories before a certain age. Part of me is curious and part of me
doesn't want to know.
RANDAL: The main issue related to fear of your father was
very obvious and urgent. This sounds more like you' re wondering,
my God, what happened before this age? What else could there
be? You know that it wasn' t pleasant for you then and that you had
a lot of difficulties, and it' s entirely possible that it's more of the
same. I don't feel that people have to go back and remember every
Chris' Guilt 395
detail of every difficult thing that happened. I think the proof is

in the pudding. If you're feeling basically at peace and you're just
curious about that, my feeling is that you don't have to go back
and remember those things. And yet that's not an absolute. If you
continue to have a nagging curiosity, then there may be something
important to explore and work through. That's valid, too. I want
you to see both sides.
CHRIS: Yes, if it keeps nagging. What I want to say about it is
that as far as the child who went through all that, I feel emotionally
unhooked from her. That's the best way I can explain it.
RANDAL: That's very significant. A big part of what we did
was to help you cut the cord between yourself and the emotional
fixation and trauma of those experiences. The fact that you have
that detachment now is the core of it. Along with that are the
realizations you got and so forth. You're getting a lot of success.
There is a possibility of something more with your curiosity, but
that may be more of an intellectual thing at this point. Time will tell.
CHRIS: I think the key word you said was nagging because
when something is nagging then I know it's trying to get my
attention. That's why I wanted to wait a little period after the first
regression to see if this other five year-old would just integrate and
be quiet, but she didn't.
RANDAL: And now you can just sit with this and see what
happens. You said you don't have any memories before the age of
six, is that correct?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: A lot of people don't remember before the age of
six. One of the things that struck me is that you didn't remember
anything and then as we were going along one memory after
another kept coming. There was certainly a feeling that there were
a lot of similar memories that could come. Have you been doing
self-hypnosis with the inner child and so forth?
CHRIS: Not as much as I want to. But what has come up for me
on its own has to do with stepping into hypnotherapy and working
with something that I really love and being paid for that. I do a lot
of volunteer work and I've given a lot of time away. I still do. And I
have this block around getting paid for helping people, like is that
okay? Because I've always hated what I've done for money even
though I've been good at it.
RANDAL: Issues like this do come up for some people,

especially when getting into a practice.
CHRIS: Something came up that I hadn't remembered before.
It seemed like what was related to this was that I used to have to
clean my father's shoes and he would give me six cents a pair.
I was little and these shoes were huge and there would be like
eight pairs of them. I hated that. In that recall I really felt like, my
God, it's interesting that I would go back to that, getting paid to
do something that I really hated. And there was no choice. I had
to do them.
There was another memory about going into a shed and
having to clean it and there were spiders. Once I said no and I
really wished I hadn't. I then begged him to let me do it because he
just totally went ballistic. So it was an interesting connection there
and it makes me feel sick, so I'm still working on that.
RANDAL: This is an example of something tied in to getting
paid for work that is very unpleasant. It sounds like you got to
something really important with that. Did you feel like it was
good that you could remember that? Just the insight itself can be
valuable.
CHRIS: It felt good to get that insight and as I'm talking about
it now I feel kind of sick about it.
RANDAL: So it's still emotional. It may be something that could
use further regression, not just working with positive suggestions
and metaphors. Another way would be to do some Gestalt on it
and see where that leads. You can work on this in self-hypnosis
and see if that's enough, or we can set up another session if you
want to.
CHRIS: It doesn't feel like the other two did.
RANDAL: Right. You may be able to work with this on your
own. You have lots of resources to do that. If you get to a stuck
place you can come back and do a session.
CHRIS: I like the idea of maybe some sort of integration but I
don't know that that's vital, either.
RANDAL: Do you have any other thoughts or feelings since
your session? You did fabulous work with that, sort of going to
hell and back.
CHRIS: In the spring I'm going back to New Zealand to see my
parents so we'll see who walks in the door. (laughs) What age I am.
Chris' Guilt 397
RANDAL: You've made major shifts and there is always further

integration in the process of life. I encourage you to periodically do
some visualizations of loving, healing energy in hypnosis, which
you deserve so much.
CHRIS: The one other thing that really gladdened me was that
despite going through that, I didn't come out feeling any more
anger or resentment against my father. It felt clean.
RANDAL: That's wonderful. Congratulations.
CHRIS: Thank you.

RANDAL: When we talked in October you said you would be
going to New Zealand in a few months to see your parents.
CHRIS: That was in April.
RANDAL: How did that go?
CHRIS: (laughing) I don't know how it relates to the session, but
I know it does. One of the things that has always been challenging
for me when I go back is the negativity of my parents, which I was
accustomed to when I lived there, I'm sure. The first night I got
there I was tired from traveling and in about 10 minutes I could
feel that I was really struggling with it. Then on the second night
my parents were drinking a lot and into their negativity about how
everything in the world is bad. They were goading me, saying,
"What do you think about this?" and "What do you think about
that?" and "The world is going to shit."
I was trying to stay grounded and centered and not get sucked
into it and I thought I was doing quite well until my mother started
on about, "Well, what are you doing? You're just smiling about
this? You think it's funny or something?" And I said, "No, I don't
think it's funny but I have to recognize what I can influence and
what I can't. What you're talking about I can't influence so I don't
want to put that much energy and thought into it."
But it's everything, Randal. It's not just a couple of things.
They watch every news program, get all the bad stuff, and that's
their world view. I need to protect myself because I can slip into
that easily. Anyway, my mother took issue with that and they left
the room to go into the kitchen, which is the next room, and they
were talking about me as if I wasn't there. And I could hear this
conversation going on. My father was saying, "Well, Dorothy, she
just doesn't even know she's alive. She hasn't been through what
we've been through so she's got no idea." And something in me
just snapped. I got up and I went into the kitchen and I said, "If
you think it's been easy for me, I could tell you a thing or two. If
everything is all so bad why don't we just cut our wrists and be
done with it?"
I was beyond upset. I couldn't even stop myself. Then my
father said, "I know that place. I've thought of killing myself quite
a few times." And I said, "Well, so have I. I'm your daughter.
We've probably got something in common at this stage." Then my
mother started to try and placate things somehow and her way of
doing that was to say, "I know you haven't had it easy. That bloody
Tony!" - who was my ex-husband. As if they hadn't had anything
to do with it!
RANDAL: Blaming it on him.
CHRIS: (laughs) Nothing to do with my childhood! Nothing
that I grew up with or anything. So then I was really upset and I
went outside. My mother came out and said, "I wish you'd come
in and say something to your father. He's really upset in there and
I don't want him to have a heart attack tonight." So now I was
thinking, "Oh, great. Now my father's going to die tonight and it's
all my fault. (laughing with Randal) I can laugh about it now and
maybe even some part of me at the time was thinking, "This is too
weird." So I said, "Okay, tell me what you want me to say to Dad
and I'll say it." And she said, "I don't know but you'll know what
to say."
So I sat there for awhile and then I went into the kitchen with no
idea what I was going to say to him. When he turned around I still
didn't know what I was going to say. Then the most unexpected
thing you could imagine came out of my mouth, which was, "You
know I love you, don't you?" and he sort of melted in front of
my eyes. He came over and gave me a hug and said, "I love you,
too. You know I'm proud of you. I always have been." I had never
heard that before. Never!
RANDAL: Wow!
CHRIS: So I burst into tears and that's where it got left. It was
late and they went to bed. I spent the whole night listening to my
dad get up and down and I thought, "Is he going to have a heart
attack? Is this going to be the end of this?"
Chris ' Guilt 399
RANDAL: It sounds like it was a real healing for you to say

that to him and for him to respond the way he did.
CHRIS: For me to hear him say that he was proud of me and
always has been ... (voice trails off)
RANDAL: That must have been so good for him as well as for
you. If he was having that kind of tension in his heart, that must
have diffused a lot of it.
CHRIS: In reality the condition of his heart has little to do with
the tension that night. They overeat and drink so much, beginning
at 11 o'clock in the morning. So I was also needing to bring that
into my consciousness because I could have easily taken it on that
this had been all my fault. That was obviously what was being put
on me. Then when that came out of my mouth I thought, of all the
things that could come out! It was probably the only thing I could
have said.
RANDAL: It was like you created a little miracle there. Isn't
that a fascinating lesson?
CHRIS: Yes. So after that they were more careful and when it
came time for me to leave my father was tearful and a few times
since then he has said that he loves me.
RANDAL: Really! You've never heard him say that before and
now you've heard him say it repeatedly. Was that on the phone
since then?
CHRIS: Yes. I've actually said it to him before on the phone but
he could never respond.
RANDAL: And now he is. Chris, you've made a real
breakthrough here.
CHRIS: He's doing it all the time.
RANDAL: I'm not imagining that everything is perfect now,
but I'm feeling like a big step has been taken that is really lasting.
That is fabulous. At first your parents were being so insulting and
you met them head to head, then reached out lovingly to your
father. After that they were not only more careful but apparently
things were more reasonably peaceful between you for the rest of
the trip. I imagine there was less intensity.
CHRIS: Yes. The drinking was still happening and all of that
but there was a bit of a standoff. Instead of having no respect for
me it was like, wait a minute. It bites. (laughter) From the moment
I got there it was like there was just no place to hide.
RANDAL: You did some very powerful work with your father
in the last session. Your parents are still your parents and they've
pretty much written their life scripts, but in spite of that you were
able to make quite a breakthrough. I would think that the work
you've done was part of how you bolstered yourself up and were
able to reach out so lovingly in such difficult circumstances.
CHRIS: I have a feeling that both of the sessions we did had an
impact on that. It's hard to separate them.
RANDAL: Yes, one was directly relevant to the other. Whether
you take the first session as a metaphor or an actual past life, the
issue with your father is a direct follow-up to that concentration
camp experience. However you look at it, the first session had the
same kind of issues of survival and incredible emotional pain. In both
sessions much of what you were working on tied in with your father.
CHRIS: Yes, and that's still there, along with the concentration
camp. There's no denial around it, but I'm less hooked into it. I feel
that what happened with the trip home this time had something
to do with not hiding. I realized as soon as that incident with my
parents happened that I was willing, if I had to, to leave with a
suitcase. So be it. So there was some sort of distancing or unhooking.
There was a cleanness and clarity about it. At the same time I realize
that what I really want from my father is completion.
RANDAL: Hopefully he'll meet you part way as he has started
already to do.
CHRIS: And he might not. I don't have an attachment to that.
That's probably something that I got from that session.
RANDAL: Yes, it's good you don't have that attachment. The
fact is that he's already done some significant meeting with you.
With who he is it's quite a breakthrough that he has repeatedly
told you he loves you. I also think that what came up for you after
that first session that you felt unfinished with was that you had
exposed your father. That's what brought up all of this and made
you want to work on it.
CHRIS: That's right.
RANDAL: You made a decision not to hide from what was
corning up around your father and here you are dealing with the
reality of that.
CHRIS: One of the benefits and joys of doing it in hypnosis is
that I'm not depending on him to change. It's not even fair for me
Chris ' Guilt 401
to expect him to change. It's me who wants to change. If someday

he does, and I have heard him say since then that he loves me,
great. But that my parents are really going to change? I don't think so.
RANDAL: I think to the degree that you can accept them for
who they are, ironically, may possibly help them to change a little
bit just by being in an atmosphere of acceptance. You created a
miraculous life for yourself and real transformations in spite of
your hellish childhood. You don't owe them anything. If you are
drawn to wanting to connect because they are your parents, then
that's something you choose to do.
CHRIS: You said I don't owe them anything and I've been
brought up with I owe them everything. I need to think of that
because I did buy into the idea that I owe them something. Like I
had to be a certain way for them in order to be satisfactory, which
was to jump on their bandwagon of negativity. That isn't going to
happen again in any form.
RANDAL: That's good. Part of your ability to feel less hooked
in and to have less of an emotional charge is because of all of your
fine work in the session with what came up about exposing your
father.
CHRIS: I appreciate your skillfulness during those sessions.
The compassion, the wisdom, the insight, the intuition. Just being
there. I never felt your stuff getting in and I really honor that.
RANDAL: Thank you.
CHAPTER 21
Chris' Struggles with Work

Follow-Up Past Life Regression:
They'll Kill Me if I Stop
Chris' work of the previous two sessions leads to this issue,

which we focus on one year after the session in the previous
chapter. While the regression hypnotherapy of this chapter becomes
emotional, it doesn't reach cathartic proportions. The session is an
important follow-up and expansion of Chris' cathartic regressions
and gives further insights into her issues and healing. Also, the fact
that the affect bridge and regression to major trauma do not lead to
cathartic emotional clearing is a sign in this case of how far she has
advanced in her transformative process.
RANDAL: You were just saying that you recently came back
from the desert where you were doing some fasting.
CHRIS: I was there in solitude and I had a little sleeping bag.
RANDAL: Were you there by yourself for several days?
CHRIS: I was there for four days and three nights. I think it
was one of the most challenging times that I've done something
like that.
RANDAL: Really? I remember you talked about going to the
desert before.
CHRIS: Yes, I've been doing it annually for nine years. David
(Chris' husband) was also there. We do a similar thing. He'll go his
way and I'll go my way.
RANDAL: So you found a place where you could really be

away from other campers?
CHRIS: (laughing) No campers.
RANDAL: Do you go to different places each time?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: Was your meditation or vision quest or whatever
you call it, tied in with what you want to see me about today?
CHRIS: Yes. It's all related and I can't sort it out. Actually you
asked earlier if it was related to our previous sessions and I said I
didn't think so but of course it is.
RANDAL: On some level it may be. It's been about a year since
our previous session and you said over the phone that you want to
see me about working on success issues this time.
CHRIS: The main heading for it would be right livelihood.
RANDAL: So are you getting away from left livelihood
then?
CHRIS: (laughing) Wrong livelihood.
RANDAL: Well, goodforyou.Areyou thinking of hypnotherapy
as right livelihood?
CHRIS: That's definitely the next step. I've been working
with this issue for awhile and when I found hypnotherapy I said,
"Thank you, God!" I do have a part-time practice.
RANDAL: I remember when you did the training with us that
you had a vision to consider doing this as your livelihood.
CHRIS: When I started I didn't really know what hypnotherapy
was. I just knew I was meant to do it.
RANDAL: Then by the time you completed the program you
decided that you not only wanted to do it, but that you wanted to
do it as a career.
CHRIS: By the end of the first class, actually. (laughing)
RANDAL: The first day?
CHRIS: Yes, the first day because it brought in all the things
I feel I know but I didn't have a container for it before. I learned
so much. To get back to my reason for being here, I'm stuck on
something that feels really old. It's that I have never had a job that I
liked and that I could say I looked forward to on Monday morning.
I seem to spend my life waiting for five o'clock and waiting for
Friday.
RANDAL: Have you been working at a job like that lately?
Chris' Struggles with Work 405
CHRIS: Yes. That is, my job when I'm not doing my practice
with hypnotherapy. I've decided that the first step is to work three
days a week at my job if I can't just drop it, which I seem to think
I can't, and then give more time to my hypnotherapy. Otherwise
I'm doing nothing but working because I'm either at my job or I'm
seeing clients. It feels like that anyway. I've been praying on this
and I keep getting guidance that this is my life going by. I came back
from the desert a little early to go to a Cancer as a Turning Point
conference. It takes place every year and it's always somewhere
different. This year it was in San Francisco. It was inspiring to me
because I know that I have a passion for working with people who
are life threatened. I've done volunteer work with hospice and I'm
excited about the possibilities of hypnotherapy with that.
RANDAL: I remember you talked about your volunteer work.
That can be very rewarding.
CHRIS: So this was a weekend with 1200 people, 80 percent of
whom have had cancer. It was like a kick in the backside for me. I
don't know how long I'm going to be here but I can't be wishing
my life away or holding back, particularly in this area. I'm a healer.
I know I am.
RANDAL: I told you that within the first several days of the
class if you remember.
CHRIS: Yes, I remember. And there is some part of me that is
afraid to make that step. I pray on it, I've been to the desert, I've
had guidance on it left, right and center, and I go into fear. I've
been in almost constant fear and anxiety about it.
RANDAL: Is the scary part the actual talking to your boss or is
it having your own business with all that entails, including having
to do the marketing and getting a full time practice established?
CHRIS: It feels multi-layered in a way. There's one level
of doing something that I love. How can I be paid for that? I've
worked on that for years. Of course I should be doing something I
love and of course I should be paid for it.
RANDAL: That's better than being paid for something you hate.
CHRIS: That would be great. Don't laugh. There is some part
of me that believes that if you love your job you shouldn't take
money for it.
RANDAL: You'd feel guilty being paid for something that you
love?
CHRIS: I think so. Things are fine with my volunteer work and
then I think there is some fear that maybe it would become tainted,
I think that might be in there too. I'm not good with money issues
and being paid. It's much easier for me to give things away.
RANDAL: Have you ever been involved with a spiritual
discipline that encouraged doing unpaid selfless service or is this
an idea that you came up with?
CHRIS: I don't know where it came from. I know my father
always hated what he did and had a heart attack to stop doing it.
(laughs) I was not encouraged to do something I love.
RANDAL: It doesn't seem like you've followed in your
father's footsteps exactly, but he certainly isn't a good role model.
So you have guilt about money issues and that may relate, in part,
to growing up with a father who hated his job and complained of
work being a burden.
CHRIS: You go to work, you give it your best, and if you live
any time after that you can enjoy it. That's one part of it. Another
part, I think, is can I make it? Will the universe really support me
in this if I do my part?
RANDAL: Have you been feeling reasonably good about
charging people in your part-time practice?
CHRIS: I've waffled here and there and I'm getting better with
it.
RANDAL: You're gradually desensitizing yourself.
CHRIS: Very gradually, but I tend to work with anyone no
matter what they can pay me right now.
RANDAL: So part of the issue is recognizing that you deserve
to be well compensated for your work, just as anyone else would
deserve to be well compensated for doing good work.
CHRIS: Yes, that's there. And I feel I'm 98 percent onboard
about doing this. It's like I have no choice. This is so clear to me. I
am dicing with my health and my life by sticking in this area that
doesn't feed me. I come home exhausted. It's hard for me to make
the shift between work and hypnotherapy because I numb out to
be at work, to just do a good job but not think about it too much. I
don't put my money where my guidance is. As I'm talking about
it, it feels so big and so old.
RANDAL: What are you associating that with right now when
you say big and old?
CHRIS: It feels big because I've given myself some time this
week and I've decided to go back to work on Monday and say
something. I've been in anxiety all this week because I get it so
clearly when I'm in the desert and in my meditation. But then I've
been waking up anxious about letting go of something. I don't
know what the heck's going on. Ninety eight percent of me is
onboard and two percent is terrified.
RANDAL: Of quitting your job?
CHRIS: Of letting go of something.
RANDAL: Are you wanting to cut back to three days a week
in order to make it affordable for you, or are you wanting to quit
your work?
CHRIS: I want to just give my job up but...
RANDAL: It doesn't sound like you're happy with it.
CHRIS: I'm not.
RANDAL: I don't know how much of it is your job and how
much of it is your subconscious issues about work. What kind of
work is it?
CHRIS: It's management consulting. The firm has been getting
smaller and smaller since I joined.
RANDAL: So you're taking on a lot of work?
CHRIS: Yes, now it's just the president and me.
RANDAL: That's getting pretty small. He may have to go
soon.
CHRIS: (laughing) Yes! And he's not an energizing person to
be around. He walks in the room and I feel instantly tired.
RANDAL: From a balanced perspective, what do you really
feel? Is it tough because it's a pattern you have of not liking your
work, of having that association, or is it more than that? It sounds
like your boss really is difficult to be around.
CHRIS: Well, there are always money problems so I haven't
gotten a raise for two years. It's hard for me to go in and demand
that when he talks about how are we going to get through next
month? I feel like I've taken on something that's not mine to take
on. I know I have.
RANDAL: So once again there is a money issue here for you.
CHRIS: Yes, and I'm not learning anything in my job. I'm not
getting any training. I'm stagnant there.
RANDAL: How long have you had this job?
CHRIS: Four years. There were other people there and

everyone's been let go, little by little. If it wasn't for the two cats I
couldn't stand to be there. I'm very isolated. And the luxury is that
I do feel I could go in and say I'd like to cut back to three days. It
makes sense because we never have enough work and all of that.
RANDAL: It is interesting that you are the last one to be kept
on. It must be that in spite of your frustration, you're good at what
you do.
CHRIS: Yes. As I'm good at hypnotherapy, and I'm hard on
myself there, too. Before I get a client I go into all sorts of things
like, oh my God, a new client! And I meditate before I see them.
Invariably I get a lot of gratitude and people come back and love
it. I'm a slow learner in some things, in learning to trust myself and
the process.
RANDAL: Does your intuition tell you that the thing for you
to do is to just cut back for now, to be balanced in this job and
do your best and then phase it out in the months ahead as you
establish your practice more? Or does your intuition tell you to just
drop it? (Chris nods) You feel like it's time to move on? (nodding
again) And knowing realistically that you can't expect an instant
full time practice, do you feel you could afford to do that? (Chris
shakes her head) Aha.
CHRIS: 1 know my work is with catastrophic illness. I know
that's where I'm being taken. To be at that conference was so
inspiring and it put everything into perspective. That's why I'm
looking at this and thinking please, can we just move beyond this?
If I don't go back this week and say something to my boss in the
course of the week I may as well ... I don't know what I may as well
do! (laughing)
RANDAL: So part of you feels that what you really need to
do is quit your job and just go for it, and part of you feels that you
can't afford to do that. I think we're just about ready to do the
hypnosis.
CHRIS: I wonder if the ideomotor would tell me what's really
going on. I mean, is this really intuition or is it not the right timing?
That's one of my thoughts about it.
RANDAL: I think doing ideomotor with that is one possibility.
I'm intrigued by the tenacious consistency you seem to have with
your dislike for paying jobs. That feels like a possible direction to
go in. You said the retreat you just did in the desert was a real
tough one. Were you going there just to meditate and you got to
feeling really uncomfortable or was the issue of your livelihood
coming up a lot for you?
CHRIS: It was there before I went. What am I going to do?
What are my next steps to bring myself into more wholeness and
alignment? And then what happened when I went out there, which
invariably happens, is that the vision gets much bigger. It's almost
like this is so small. What I was actually getting was, "You know
the answer to this. Don't keep asking."
RANDAL: Were you being specific in asking what you need to
do about your job?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: What did your gut feeling tell you?
CHRIS: To let go of my job. And if I think that going to three
days is a first step, do it.
RANDAL: So letting go doesn't have to be rigidly dropping it?
CHRIS: That's what my inner negotiator said. Maybe I need to
look at another part time job, maybe work in a hospice, even it's
an office job. That would make a difference somehow. One of the
things about not changing before was, what would I do? What can
I do?
RANDAL: Now you have some possibilities with your skills
in hypnotherapy and your experience in hospice work. I could ask
you ideomotor questions like, do you need to make a stand? And
then give you a pep talk about it, that kind of thing, but I feel
that would be a band-aid approach. I'm concerned about these
deeper issues you have with money and jobs. I feel it would be
best to work on that and from there you will just leap at whatever
is best for you to do. If you do work for your job part-time you
may be surprised at how much better it could be, as one of the
possibilities. I don't know where we're going to go with this, but
that's my feeling.
CHRIS: That sounds good. Trust is a big issue, too. I feel like I'm
being asked to trust more. I'm not going to have my head chopped
off by making a move towards joy. I do trust the universe.
RANDAL: Okay, get ready for some hypnosis. (Chris shifts ·
back in the recliner) Watch my two fingers moving down toward
your face. (Randal does an eye catalepsy and other induction
techniques and then reestablishes ideomotor responses - the right

thumb is Chris' "yes" finger, the right middle finger is her "no"
finger, and the right index finger is her "I don't know" finger) If
your subconscious mind doesn't know how to properly answer
the question with yes or no then that could be a signal with your
little finger. (Chris' little finger lifts) Thank you. You can relax your
hand.
I'm going to be asking you some questions now, Chris, about
some of the issues we've been discussing. Issues regarding success,
difficulty with your job, fear of doing something you like regarding
work, at least one of those issues. My question for you now is,
is your subconscious mind willing to have us pursue lines of
questioning having to do with these issues? (Chris' thumb moves)
The answer to the question is yes.
We may come back to ideomotor questioning and we've gotten
approval for that, but right now I would like to consider another
possibility. Requesting an ideomotor signal, Chris, is it safe and
appropriate for you to remember any and all memories having to
do with issues of difficulty regarding work? (Chris' thumb moves)
The answer is yes. The next question, is it safe and appropriate for
you to be open to your emotions as you recall any and all memories
having to do with issues regarding work? (Chris' thumb moves)
The answer is yes.
All right, Chris, focus on your breathing. Breathe down into
your stomach. I want you to know that you're going to do great.
You have your intuition, you have a guardian angel or angels, you
have your higher self, you have God here supporting you. You'll
do just fine. In a moment I'll be counting from one to ten. With
every number that I count you're going to become more aware
of a feeling you sometimes have. A feeling of difficulty with your
work. A frustration with your work.
On number one, beginning to feel the first vestiges of negativity
toward your work. Number two, whatever that feeling of negativity
is. You can't wait for your work to be over or maybe it's another
kind of feeling. On number three, there are many kinds of negative
feelings you've had about your work over time. Number four,
feeling in your subconscious mind a negative feeling about how
difficult or awful work is. Number five, feeling more strongly about
how repulsed you are about your work. Six, something about work
that is so difficult for you. Seven, wherever it comes from, you're

feeling that feeling welling up in you now. Eight, like the flood
gates of a dam, that feeling is bursting forth. A feeling of repulsion
about work, so anxious to get away from your work. Number nine,
on the next number I count you're right there with that feeling of
wanting to get away from work, not wanting to have anything to
do with work. You hate work. Number ten.
Now I'm going to count quickly from ten down to one and
you'll stay with that feeling but go back to an earlier time when
you had that kind of feeling. Number ten, nine, eight, going back in
time. Seven, six, five, going further and further back in time. Four,
three, going back in time. Two, going back to some time when you
were feeling a very negative feeling about how much you hated
work. On the next number that I count you're right there. Number
one. Are you inside or outside? Pick one. (Chris begins to cry
softly) Stay with your feelings. Breathing down into your stomach.
It's okay to cry. Are you inside or outside?
CHRIS: (whispering) I'm outside.
CHRIS: (still whispering) Daytime.
RANDAL: Are you alone or is there at least one other person
there?
CHRIS: (quietly sobbing) Other people.
RANDAL: Stay with your feelings. What is your age? Are you
under 25?
CHRIS: I'm eight.
RANDAL: Okay, you're outside, it's daytime and you're eight
years-old. Where are you?
CHRIS: (crying and struggling to speak) I'm in a concentration
camp.
RANDAL: I'm sorry. (sighs as Chris sobs quietly) So be there.
Checking with your subconscious mind now, is it appropriate
for Chris to stay with the imagery for now of recalling being in
a concentration camp? (Chris's thumb moves) The answer to the
question is yes. So this is the situation. You're eight years-old and
you're in a concentration camp. Do you know at the moment if
either of your parents are around?
CHRIS: I haven't seen them.
RANDAL: Are you a boy or a girl?
CHRIS: I'm a girl.

RANDAL: What are you doing outside with these people?
CHRIS: I think I'm pushing something. Maybe a wheelbarrow.
RANDAL: Are you being made to do some kind of labor or is
there some other reason you're pushing this barrel?
CHRIS: I think I have to.
RANDAL: How does it feel to be pushing that barrel and being
there as this eight year-old girl?
CHRIS: I'm scared not to.
RANDAL: What would happen if you don't do the work?
CHRIS: They'll kill me.
RANDAL: Have you been made to do work before in this
concentration camp?
CHRIS: Everybody's working.
RANDAL: Have you been here for awhile?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: It must be unbearably difficult for you to be only
eight years-old and to be in such terrible conditions. You're so
young and here you are being forced to do this labor. How do you
feel about the kind of work you have to do and the way they work
you?
CHRIS: Repulsed. There are bodies everywhere.
RANDAL: Are you referring to dead bodies?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: Are these people who have recently died? (Chris
nods) If you could speak and tell the truth about how you feel, is
there somebody that you would like to talk to?
CHRIS: God.
RANDAL: Okay, what would you like to say to God? You're
eight years-old and the situation is just horrible. Corpses here and
there, the work is very hard and you're afraid that if you don't
work they'll kill you.
CHRIS: This is not okay.
RANDAL: What do you want from God?
CHRIS: Stop this.
RANDAL: Be God. How does God respond to you?
CHRIS: I'm not sure God's home.
RANDAL: Okay, be this eight year-old girl. "God, where are
you? I want to talk to you."
CHRIS: Where are you God?

RANDAL: Switch and be God responding.
CHRIS: I'm here.
RANDAL: God, what do you want to say to this eight year-old
girl who is in this concentration camp?
CHRIS: I'll release you soon.
RANDAL: Switch and be this girl.
CHRIS: (crying) I think I know what that means.
RANDAL: What do you feel about what God said, that he'll
release you soon?
CHRIS: I don't know what's worse. (sobbing) To be released
or to be here.
RANDAL: When God says that he'll release you soon, what do
you feel he means?
CHRIS: That I'll die. (sobs)
RANDAL: Are you afraid of dying?
CHRIS: I'm afraid of being alive.
RANDAL: Yes, I know that. You're afraid of being alive and
you're afraid of dying, is that right?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: Both seem to be horrible. I'd like a finger signal
response to this next question. In this lifetime as a little girl in that
concentration camp, does this eight year-old girl die rather soon?
Say within a matter of weeks or months? (Chris's thumb moves)
The answer to the question is yes. So the eight year-old girl is going
to die soon. Would it be safe and appropriate for us to go forward
past her death to have her discover what it's like for her after she
dies? (Chris's thumb moves and other fingers quiver slightly) I
got mixed signals, but most strongly the "yes" finger. I would like
for your subconscious mind to take you to an appropriate place
after this girl has died. When I count from five down to one you'll
be in that place. It's appropriate and safe for you to be there and
you'll be beyond living. Five, four, three, two, one. Begin to get
a feeling of what it's like now, past the very difficult and terrible
life of this young girl. She has passed away and you are wherever
you are. Just experience what that's like. When you're ready to say
something about that you can signal with your "yes" finger. (Chris
signals after a pause) Okay, what do you want to say about that?
CHRIS: (whispering) It's quiet.
RANDAL: How are you feeling about being in this place after
having died?
CHRIS: Expansive.
·RANDAL: Good. Is there anything else you feel or notice? Are
you feeling positively or negatively?
CHRIS: Peaceful.
RANDAL: The eight year-old girl was afraid and didn't know
if death would be as bad as life in the concentration camp, but your
experience of this is that it's something much better, is that correct?
CHRIS: Uh huh.
RANDAL: So you can actually enjoy the peace and the
expansiveness. It was a great unknown for you and naturally, as
so many people are, you were afraid of death. Now that you are
here you can discover the peaceful qualities, the expansiveness,
the quiet. Enjoy all of these feelings and more. You went back to
that tremendously difficult life of that young girl in response to
Chris' difficulty with her work. You have just discovered some
terrible facts about associations with work, and discovering those
facts can be very liberating in itself. What I'm drawn to do now
is to look back at that life as a means to really get clear about any
misconceptions about work from that lifetime and how those
misconceptions have been continuing to affect you in your life
until now. It's something that may already be clear to you. Signal
with your "yes" finger if you're ready to do that. (Chris signals)
Okay. Coming fully back to the present as Chris, but having access
to the aspect of that experience that was affecting your feelings
about work until now. When you're ready to say something about
that you can signal with your "yes" finger. (Chris signals) All right,
go ahead.
CHRIS: As horrible as it seems, it keeps you alive.
RANDAL: So that's a conception you developed from that
lifetime, that work is horrible but it's the only thing that keeps you
alive. That was a reasonable conception to have. Now you're in
another world many decades later, and it's a different lifetime as
Chris. The circumstances are very different and your world is very
different. You can look back at a little of what that girl had to go
through and at the conception that was reasonable for her at the
time. That work was horrible but it was the only way to stay alive.
You can understand how that conception was developed. Are you
ready to realize that the conception from that lifetime no longer

needs to be a valid one for Chris' life anymore? (Chris' thumb
moves) The answer is yes. Good.
Chris, it's crystal clear for you. It's easy to recognize how
anyone could have a conception like that from such a terrible
experience, and that association with work was continuing to reside
in your subconscious mind. It was even reinforced by your father ' s
difficulty with work as you were growing up in this lifetime. That
conception colored your experience of what work has to be, and
continued to affect you subconsciously. Now you can set yourself
free of such conceptions, recognizing that they were appropriate
for that time but they are no longer valid for you. I'd like to check
with your finger signals, Chris. Can you understand the terrible
circumstances that this developed from and can you forgive
yourself for having had such misconceptions about work? I'm
saying misconceptions in terms of this life. (Chris' thumb moves)
The answer to the question is yes.
Tap into your higher self now and discover the truth of what
is possible regarding work. You can tap into the positive realities,
the potential you have to experience right livelihood, to have joy
in your work, to be able to help people and to make good money.
When you're ready to say something about any or all of that, signal
with your "yes" finger. (after a pause Chris signals) Okay, what
would you like to say?
CHRIS: It's not important to live long but to live well.
RANDAL: That's true. What else would you like to say?
CHRIS: Meaningful work and joyful work. .. make every day a
good day to die.
RANDAL: Chris, would meaningful work and joyful work
also make every day a good day to live?
CHRIS: Yes.
RANDAL: Do you give yourself permission to quite possibly
live a long, joyful life? (pause) Does that feel all right?
CHRIS: (Chris nods) Wow.
RANDAL: You deserve a long, healthy life, whatever that
means for you. Do you give yourself permission, if that's what' s in
store for you, to allow for that to happen? To have abundance, to
have a long life, to have a lot of joy, to help people out, to make a
lot of money?
CHRIS: Uh huh.
RANDAL: How does that feel?
CHRIS: It feels good. I'd need some abundance to live a long,
healthy life.
RANDAL: You need abundance and you deserve abundance.
Doesn't it make sense to you that the people who really deserve to
be paid appropriately well in the work they do are people who are
providing good service? (Chris nods) And doesn't it make sense
to recognize that you deserve to provide a good service and to
be well compensated for that? In fact isn't that your destiny, to
provide good service and to be well compensated for it? (after a
pause Chris' "yes" finger signals) Very good.
You are letting go of misconceptions about money, recognizing
that there are many people in the world who are very good and
very helpful at what they do and many of them make a good living
at it as well. You recognize that people would love to be helped by
you. You have so much good to give.
When I told you very early in the program, during Level One,
that you are a natural healer I really felt that. I don't normally say
things like that so early in the class. You have a wonderful heart,
a deep compassion. You're a lovely person. I know that you have
already done a lot of good in your hospice volunteer work and
in your hypnotherapy work. You're intelligent and intuitive, you
love to give, you're very spiritual, you're very aware. You've got
a right to it all, Chris. I can't think of anyone who is any more
deserving than you to be able to enjoy doing good work and
getting compensated well for it.
As you give so shall you receive. As the best goes out from you
only the best is returned. Visualize yourself doing hypnotherapy
with clients on a variety of issues, and helping people with
catastrophic illness. There is so much meaningful work you can
do with that. It's all very natural. You're very good with cats
and therefore you're very good with cat-astrophic illness. (Chris
giggles) A little humor is good for us. You're going to do terrific
work, Chris. You're already doing wonderful work but you can
visualize yourself within a reasonably short period of time, being
able to focus completely on the work you love. As a hypnotherapist
and perhaps in addition to that, further work dealing with people
with advanced illness.
Chris ' Struggles with Work 417
Joseph Campbell said, "Follow your bliss." Look at how good

you have been at doing what you mostly did not enjoy, so good
that the president of the company let go of one person after another
until you're the only one left besides him. You're that good. Are
you aware deep down at how good you are at working when you
love your work? Of course you already know that. You already
described how, in spite of whatever feelings you might have in
getting ready to do a session in hypnotherapy work, after you do
it you feel so expanded and powerful and joyful. And your clients
are so appreciative. You are deep down recognizing that you are a
natural healer, a powerful healer, and that you deserve abundance
from your work. Just as you enjoy paying for a service that is very
good and healing for you, you also recognize that people want to
pay you well for doing the empowering work that you do. It's a joy
for people to come to you to get therapy. They want to compensate
you well because you deserve to be well compensated.
When I was in college and starting my practice, I felt
uncomfortable charging anything but low rates. Then as time
went by I let go of some guilt about money. I continued to help
people and to work on my confidence and recognize the value
more and more of the work that I do. It was a wonderful process.
This is a wonderful process for you as you are now moving on
toward becoming a full time hypnotherapist and all of the positive
things that entails. To get the word out, to creatively market your ·
services, to feel the joyful rewards of the very happy clients you
are helping.
You have the tools to do very powerful work with people.
Tools that you've already been using. Now that you have let go of
the affects and the misconception of that former lifetime you can
enjoy freedom, full self-approval, complete acceptance of being a
successful therapist in every manner. Successful in the help that
you give your clients and successful in being well rewarded. You
already know from your own experience how rewarding it is to
be able to make a difference in people's lives. It's so satisfying to
be able to do that and make a good living at it, including having
abundance. That is becoming more your reality from this time
forward.
This question is for your finger signals. Is there anything
further you would like to say or to ask me before I bring you out
of the hypnosis? (after a pause Chris' thumb moves) You signaled

yes. What would you like to say?
CHRIS: That I love the eight year-old.
RANDAL: Bring her here now. What would you like to say to
her? (Randal gives Chris a pillow) Here she is. You can hold her.
Some of it can be non-verbal, with your touch and your energy.
(pause) I'd also like you to be that eight year-old and feel Chris'
tender loving care as she holds you. I'm talking to the eight year-
old girl that deserved so much better than what she got... and God
did take her out of her misery. Talking to the eight year-old girl,
that's all gone now. It's all past. Is there anything you want to say
to Chris?
CHRIS: Thank you for the hug. I'd forgotten what that was
like.
RANDAL: Chris, is there anything more you want to say?
(Chris signals no) Are you ready to say goodbye for now?
CHRIS: Goodbye.
RANDAL: And eight year-old girl, you can say goodbye to
Chris. Chris, you can bring this girl back if you want to in your
own self-hypnosis and give her a lot of nurturing. If you ever feel
that there is a part of her that is a part of you, you can feel yourself
getting taken care of very well.
CHRIS: I feel like I'd rather she move on.
RANDAL: Thank you. She's had her life and it's time to move
on. That's a better idea. So you can say goodbye and wish her well
and send her on.
CHRIS: She liked it where you took her before.
RANDAL: Okay. Talking to the eight year-old girl, it's time for
you to go. It's time for you to go back to that place of peace and
tranquility. Know that that's the place for you to be. You've got
all the peace, all the expansiveness that you could possibly need.
There is a lot of love out there for you. You can say goodbye to
Chris now, and go with blessings.
You have the inner child within you and you can take good
loving care of her. You only take on now that which is appropriate
for you, the inner child and the adult that is truly you. You can let
go of a lot of the stuff from the past that is not you and that is gone
now. The life that you have continues to become more and more
expansive and free, including much abundance.
In some ways you can be like a newborn babe as you reclaim

that sense of innocence and freedom and purity. You have your
whole life ahead of you. In a moment I'm going to begin counting
from one to five and with each number that I count you become
more and more alert, awake, aware and invigorated. Number
one, slowly, calmly and easily returning to your full conscious
awareness once again. Number two, feeling more and more alert,
awake and aware with each number that I count. Number three,
more and more wide awake and alert with each number. Very
much in touch with your heart, your higher self and your sense of
freedom. Receptive to miracles and to wonderful good things that
are coming your way. On number four, getting ready to open your
eyes. On the next number you are fully alert, awake, aware and
feeling good. Coming back, number five. Take your time. Open
your eyes, take a deep breath and stretch.
CHRIS: (hugging Randal) Thank you.
RANDAL: Good job. You've certainly come a long way. I'm
glad your intuition directed you at the end to give that girl a hug
but also to send her on her way. You don't have to reclaim that
lifetime.
CHRIS: Thank you. You are the best, Randal. (laughing) You
probably already know.
RANDAL: I think you and I work very well together. Thank
you. I'll accept that I'm the best if you'll accept that you're the
best.
CHRIS: Ohhh! I am accepting that I'm the best.
RANDAL: Great. Thank you very much. I'm honored by your
appreciation and I'm sincere in my appreciation to you, too.
CHRIS: It's hard to believe that that's where it went again.
RANDAL: My feeling was that rather than approaching this
through detailed ideomotor questioning, which is often a great
idea, there was a core issue that we could get to directly. I didn't
think it was just a coincidence that your jobs always entailed all
those negative things. Obviously that came from somewhere.
I figured it could come from your childhood, for example, with
your awareness of your father's negativity about work. That
was a reasonable possibility, and it could have related to other
experiences and issues from your life. But I was well aware when I
was counting back that rather than saying, "You're getting younger
and smaller," I kept saying, "You're going back in time." I kept

it open without implying anything beyond an age regression. It
certainly fit, didn't it?
CHRIS: Wow, it does. It all fits together.
RANDAL: So how are you feeling now?
CHRIS: It's a strange word to use but I'm feeling relieved.
RANDAL: I think that's a great thing to feel. You've relieved
yourself of something that went back a long way.
CHRIS: Ninety eight percent of me was onboard for something
but the two percent was ... (makes a clutching gesture with her hands).
RANDAL: And like you did with that young girl, you just
freed it up and let it go. You've confronted very difficult things
again and again in our sessions, and you've had the courage to
allow yourself to move through them, let go and move on. It's been
fabulous work.
CHRIS: Part of my prayer was to show me what was getting
in my way.
RANDAL: Well, this was a nice follow-up to the difficulty
you were experiencing in the desert. I know what hard work such
an in-depth meditation can be and how valuable it is. But isn't it
incredible each time you do some good hypnotherapy, especially
working through core issues during regression, how quickly
you can move through so much. Our capacities are truly mind
boggling.
CHRIS: I don't think I even have a clue as to what's possible yet.
RANDAL: The fact that you know that is a sign of your
awareness.
CHRIS: (laughter) The more I know, the more I know I don't
know. Thank you, Randal.
RANDAL: My feeling was that you are so healthy in so many
ways and have such a conscious awareness that this negativity
with work didn't mesh with who you are. I definitely felt that this
was something that went back, however far.
CHRIS: And the anxiety that I've been having, especially this week
RANDAL: We did great work in this session and I feel that there
is a tremendous shift that has happened and will continue. Your
intuition can lead you from here with a 'lot more possibilities than
before. I do want you to give yourself some positive visualizations
when you go to bed at night or in self-hypnosis. You've had some
bad habits and associations for a long time. To further ground

yourself in your reality, to accelerate that process, your homeplay
(rather than homework) assignment is to do some self-hypnosis
on a regular basis for at least the next month, then occasionally
thereafter. You can visualize having abundance, enjoying and
moving forward as a hypnotherapist, and so forth. You've got all
these tools and all these different ways to ground yourself.
Chris Writes Five Years Later

It felt like a page-turning novel had fallen into my hands when
I began to re-read my sessions with Randal. I was instantly drawn
in and moved by what I was reading, but I also felt detached - I
think I used the word "unhooked" in one of the sessions - from the
drama of it. This was very assuring.
As a follow-up, there is so much I could say, and all good. I did
gradually withdraw from the job that was unfulfilling and moved
more fully into my hypnotherapy practice. As for the little dancing
fairy girl, she is alive, very well, and lets me know when life is
getting too serious and I or boring!
Perhaps the biggest part to report, though, is that the final
chapter with my father has been written between those sessions
and now. He died three years ago and, while I was not with him
physically at that time, our last telephone conversation included
the exchange between us of "I love you." However, the undeniable
proof of the depth of healing that had occurred for me was when I
returned to New Zealand and immediately went to the mortuary
to see his body. He looked more peaceful than I'd ever seen him
and, as I placed my hand on his heart, a genuine sense of fondness
flowed through me. I will never forget that moment. It was the
confirmation of a completion with him in the fullest sense of
the term, and for this I am eternally grateful. How badly he had
behaved with us, his family, was still undeniable and inexcusable,
but I had forgiven him - the human being who had been my father
- and I felt at peace. And I still do.
Thank you again, Randal, for the compassion, wisdom, insight,
intuition, respect, and the love that you brought to these sessions.
It's really a gift. You are really a gift!
'A_p_pendix
Abreaction and Catharsis:
Foundations and Meanings
As discussed in Chapter One, when exploring therapeutic

methods that may produce very intense emotions, the terms
catharsis and abreaction are sometimes used. Partly because of its
occasional use in the general language, catharsis is more commonly
understood while abreaction is less familiar to persons who are
begilliung their hypnotherapy or psychotherapy education. ·Here
we'll briefly explore some ways in which the meanings of both
words have developed in a therapeutic context.
Historically, Josef Breuer first began to develop abreaction
in 1880 as a therapeutic technique in which there is a discharge
of repressed emotions by reliving traumas that had been buried
in the subconscious. He and Sigmund Freud published these
findings in 1895 in Studies in Hysteria. John Watkins (the originator
of the affect bridge in hypnotherapy) states that when Breuer
induced his patient to abreact that meant "to relive early traumatic
situations in her life in which she both remembered and expressed
feelings .... " Using this" cathartic treatment," The new Harvard Guide
to Psychiatry states that "Breuer and Freud added the important
technical innovation of raising to consciousness the memories and
related emotions deriving from the traumatic events immediately
responsible for producing the symptoms." The Longman Dictionary
of Psychology and Psychiatry refers to the" cathartic method," stating,
"Abreaction refers to the process; catharsis to the end-result, the
discharge of tension." Interestingly, Hinsie and Campbell's Psychiatric
Dictionary gives an opposite explanation, stating, "The method used
424
to bring the repressed material into consciousness is called catharsis,

the term abreaction technically refers to the end-result."
Exploring definitions and descriptions of abreaction in
the contemporary literature of psychology, psychiatry and
hypnotherapy, the term has typically lost the early association of
necessarily referring to recovering memories. For example, William
Kroger defines abreaction as, "An emotional reliving or reenacting
of traumatic experiences, with a resultant release of energy." Gil
Boyne describes an abreaction as a highly emotionalized reliving
of an experience in hypnosis. He says, "Often there is a strongly
emotionalized abreaction followed by cathartic ventilation (tears,
fear responses, angry words, etc.) at which point the hypnotherapist
can begin the process of re-education and reprogramming of the
subconscious mind." Daniel Brown and Erika Fromm refer to
abreaction as an intense emotional "acting-out" and don't limit the
term to recovery of previously blocked memories. Neither does
Simon Rosenberg, who emphasizes that unexpected abreactions
to positive suggestions have good potential for growth. Brown,
Scheflin and Hammond state, "Contemporary abreaction does
not emphasize memory recovery. The ... procedure is based on the
assumption that one is working with a patient who already has a
continuous memory for at least the gist of the traumatic event.. .. "
I would not necessarily make such an assumption myself, but
neither would I assume a blocked memory.
As mentioned in Chapter 1, regression is minimally discussed
in most hypnotherapy books. When it is emphasized, it is usually
done in specific, limited ways. Many authors teach that detachment
methods are to be routinely used, and emotions avoided. Most
hypnotherapy books don't discuss other emotional clearing
methods either, so information about abreaction or catharsis is
generally absent.
Some therapists understand abreaction only in terms specific to
their own practice. Michael Yapko, for example, defines abreaction
as "Unexpected and intense negative emotional reaction to the
content or structure of an intervention triggered by negative
associations." While it may indeed occur spontaneously and
unexpectedly in the course of therapy, this definition is limited and
ignores documentation of the deliberate use of abreaction, as well
as contemporary techniques .that often lead to abreaction.
425
Accurate and useful glossaries of these words tend to come

from therapists who specialize in emotional clearing therapy. Like
aspects of Gil Boyne's Transforming Therapy™, Kenneth Kelzer's
Deep Journey Method uses hypnosis and Gestalt therapy as its
core. In Deep Journeys, he defines abreaction as, "An extraordinarily
intense emotional release, in which feelings are discharged through
crying, screaming or various other involuntary body processes." He
defines catharsis as, "An inner, emotional cleansing accomplished
through the release of deep and intense emotions. The term usually
refers to the release of negative emotions."
In conclusion, the word abreaction is currently often used as
similar in meaning to catharsis in the context of therapy.
426
'References
Preface to Volume II
Churchill, R. (2009). Become the Dream: The Transforming Power of Hypnotic

Dreamwork (2nd edition). Santa Rosa, CA: Transforming Press.
Churchill, R. (2002). Regression Hypnotherapy: Transcripts of Transformation.
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Chapter 1: The Value of Catharsis in Regression
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& Wilkins.
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Chapter 3: Working with Abreaction

Chapter 4: Grounding and Centering for the Therapist

427
Chapter 11: Sean's Flashbacks of Possible Molestation

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Chapter 12: Issues of Potential Sexual Abuse
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Watkins, J. (1987). Hypnotherapeutic Techniques. New York: Irvington Pub-
lishers.
Yapko, M. (2003). Trancework: An Introduction to the Practice of Clinical Hyp-
nosis (3rd edition). New York: Routledge.
This remmmended reading list is relevant to major themes ofthis wlume. The R.eferences
ofthe previous section include awide 'lXlriety ofadditional sources for further study.
Gestalt Therapy
An additional resource is The Gestalt Therapy Page, http://gestalt.org, a
joint project sponsored by The Gestalt Journal and the International Gestalt
Therapy Association. This resource-rich website includes many good links
and a massive bibliography of books relevant to Gestalt therapy.
Churchill, Randal, Become the Dream: The Transforming Power ofHypnotic
Dreamwork. Transforming Press, 2nd edition, 2009. The first book
about the integration of hypnosis and any form of dream therapy,
by the originator of Hypnotic Dreamwork™. Gestalt dreamwork
is synergistically augmented by powerful hypnotic modalities,
and sometimes develops into regression therapy.
Kelzer, Kenneth, Deep Journeys: Experimental Psychotherapy with Dreams,
Personal Archetypal Tales and Trance States. North Atlantic Books,
1999. This beautifully written book describes and demonstrates
the unique synthesis of methodologies, including hypnotherapy
and Gestalt, that make up the author's Deep Journey Method for
effective, long term transformation.
Korb, Margaret P., Gorrell, J., & Van De Riet, V., Gestalt Therapy: Practice
and Theory (2°d edition) Gestalt Journal Press, 2002. An excellent
overview of Gestalt theory and practice from the history of its
philosophical development to current trends in its theoretical
explorations and clinical applications.
Perls, Frederick, Gestalt Therapy Verbatim, Gestalt Journal Press
Edition, 1992. Gestalt therapy's colorful primary founder helped
put his work at Esalen on the map with this classic. Includes a
superb theoretical overview of Gestalt and a large collection of
dreamwork transcripts.
Perls, Frederick, The Gestalt Approach & Eye Witness to Therapy, Science
and Behavior books, Inc., 1973. Perl's last and most comprehensive
work, can be read as one entity or as two separate works. He was
working on both books at the time of his death.
430
Yontef, Gary, Awareness, Dialogue and Process: Essays on Gestalt Therapy,

Gestalt Journal Press, 1993. Called "the most significant addition
to the body of Gestalt therapy literature in almost two decades,"
this 570 page collection of Yontef's writings includes the
definitive overview of the theory and practice of Gestalt. Highly
recommended as a training text and as a resource for graduate
students and scholars.
Hypnotic Suggestions
· Regression sessions are often most effective when used in conjunction with a
series ofsessions that in large part emphasize direct and/or indirect suggestions
and metaphors (although sometimes some self-hypnosis homework will suffice).
Even within a regression-oriented session, post-hypnotic suggestions given
toward the end of the hypnosis is always an important addition to the process.
Hammond, D. Corydon, Editor, Handbook of Hypnotic Suggestions
and Metaphors. W.W. Norton and Company, 1990. This practical
desktop reference is the largest collection of hypnotic suggestions
and metaphors ever compiled, with contributions from over 100
experts in the field.
Hunter, Marlene E., Creative Scripts for Hypnotherapy, Brunner I Mazel,
1994. A wide variety of scripts for hypnotherapists, with a wealth
of elaborate metaphorical imagery.
Kroger, William S., Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis, J.B. Lippencott,
2nd edition, 1977. This major text covers an exceptionally wide
range of material and makes a very effective reference book.
Tebbetts, Charles, Self-Hypnosis and Other Mind-Expanding Techniques,
Westwood Publishing, 1987. Besides being good introduction for
the hypnotherapist to help teach self-hypnosis to clients, the rules
outlined in this bestselling book for structuring autosuggestions
are fully relevant for proper and powerful use of direct suggestion
during hetero-hypnosis.
Zimmerman, Katherine, Hypnotherapy Scripts, Volumes I, II and III,
TranceTime™ Publishing, 2006. Many of the scripts are infused
with good ideas for regression explorations that can be used in
group or individual sessions.
Ideomotor Methods
Cheek, David B. and LeCron, Leslie M., Clinical Hypnotherapy,

Harcourt Brace, 1968. This out-of-print classic introduces the
431
subject of ideomotor methods and gives an excellent overview of

hypnotherapy.
Cheek, David B., Hypnosis: The Application of Ideomotor Techniques,
Paramount Publishing, 1994. An interesting many-faceted
study of the field of hypnotherapy with insights from 50 years
of clinical practice, including extensive utilization of ideomotor
methods.
Churchill, Randal, Ideomotor Magic in Exploratory Hypnosis: Utilizing the
Awareness, Knowledge and Wisdom of the Subconscious, Transforming
Press, in preparation. This teaching text emphasizes insight-
oriented ideomotor strategies in the context of regression that can
yield profound results.
Ewin, Dabney M. and Eimer, Bruce N ., Ideomotor Signals for Rapid
Hypnoanalysis: A How-To Manual, Charles C. Thomas, 2006. This
text focuses on utilizing ideomotor methods for hypnoanalysis of
psychosomatic disorders, helping therapists to go deeper while
accelerating and improving the efficiency of their work.
Mutke, Peter H. C., Hypnosis: The Mind-Body Connection, Westwood
Publishing, 1987. Emphasizes teaching the finger-signal form of
ideomotor methods within self-hypnosis. An in-depth guide to
recommend to our clients to augment the learning of this skill,
there is much information of value to therapists as well.
Rossi, Ernest L., and Cheek, David B., Mind-body Therapy: Methods of
Ideodynamic Healing in Hypnosis, W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.,
1994. The term ideodynamic is a synonym for ideomotor. This
519-page text includes hundreds of engaging case reports from
Cheek's clinical work, complemented by Rossi's chapters linking
this often intuitive work to the latest research in psychobiology.
Recovered Memories
Brown, Daniel; Scheflin, Alan W., & Hammond, D. Corydon, Memory,
Trauma Treatment, and the Law: An Essential Reference on Memory
for Clinicians, Researchers, Attorneys, and Judges. W.W. Norton &
Company, Inc., 1998. Exceptionally comprehensive and balanced,
this massive book is the definitive work on the subject of recovered
memories and the law.
Courtois, Christine A., Recollections of Sexual Abuse: Treatment Principles
and Guidelines. W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., 1999. This well
balanced, exhaustively researched book provides clinicians with
432
information about the controversy of delayed memories of sexual

abuse and sound guidelines for working with these issues.
Terr, Lenore, Unchained Memories: True Stories of Traumatic Memories,
Lost and Found, Basic Books, 1995. Child psychiatrist Lenore Terr,
an expert in trauma and repressed memory, has been a powerful
expert witness in high-profile court cases.
Yapko, Michael D., Suggestions of Abuse: True and False Memories of
Childhood Sexual Trauma. Simon & Schuster, 1994. Yapko explores
the interrelated subjects of memory, repression and suggestibility. He
reveals the alarming ignorance of many mental health profes.5ionals and
provides guidance for working with memories in therapy.
Regression
Many books in other sections of this bibliography also directly emphasize the
subject of regression, including all of the books in the Recovered Memories
section.
Barnett, E. A., Analytical Hypnotherapy: Principles and Practice,
Westwood Publishing, 1989. This well-researched book includes
many transcripts of hypnotic regressions, with considerable use
of Transactional Analysis and ideomotor methods.
Boyne, Gil, Transforming Therapy: A New Approach to Hypnotherapy,
Westwood Publishing, 1989. The first book to combine Gestalt and
hypnotherapy, by the therapist who integrated these two fields.
Emphasizes a collection of transcripts in which transformational
hypnotic regression modalities are integral to the process.
Churchill, Randal, Regression Hypnotherapy: Transcripts ofTransformation,
Volume I, Transforming Press, 2002. This essential first volume
to Catharsis in Regression Hypnotherapy explores valuable uses of
regression, including how to integrate modalities such as Gestalt
and ideomotor signals. Including transcripts and commentary, it
emphasizes the powerful therapeutic potentials of comprehensive
strategies based on Churchill's 15 Major Steps in Emotional
Clearing Regression.
Elman, Dave, Hypnotherapy, Westwood Publishing, 1964. This classic,
originally entitled Findings in Hypnosis, is the summation of
Elman's theories and techniques. Among his major contributions
to the field, he was a pioneer in the development of regression
and hypnoanalysis strategies.
433
Wambach, Helen, Ph.D., Reliving Past Lives: The Evidence Under

Hypnosis. Barnes & Noble Books, 2000. This late psychologist was
a pioneer in past life therapy, doing thousands of sessions over
her long career.
Weiss, Brian L., M.D., Through Time Into Healing. Fireside, 1992. This
psychiatrist's popular past life books are primarily written for the
general public, although this book has a fair amount of specific
information that can be useful for therapists.
'lndex
A Breuer, Josef, 21, 423
Brown, Daniel, 424
Abreaction, 20-22, 30, 32-37,
423-425. See also Catharsis c
as a sudden release of emotion,
35 Campbell, Joseph, 417
as an opportunity, 22 Campbell, Robert, 423
common occurrence in emotion- Case histories
al clearing, 21 Chris (guilt), 375-401
confidence in the full use of, 36 Chris (past life regression),
definition of, 21 355-374
first use of, 21 Chris (past life regression
unexpected, 424 follow-up), 402-421
Affect bridge Corinna (past life regression),
to encourage expression of emo- 325-354
tions, 19 Curtis and Charlene (averting
to lead to an initial sensitizing catharsis), 128-140
event, 23 Daniel (emotional blocking),
Anger 47-77
getting beyond, 22 Jill (writing block), 253-276
releasing of, 23, 37 John (shame), 107-127
A Textbook of Pathology (Boyd), 22 Kane (rebellion), 277-301
Averting catharsis Rita (road rage), 225-252
explorations of, 129 Rose (pervading sadness),
79-106
B Sean (possible molestation),
Become the Dream (Churchill), 195-218
xvii, 25, 320 Theresa (abusive relationships),
Bioenergetics, 36 302-317
Boyd, William, 22 Virginia (dysfunctional family),
Boyne, Gil, 23, 424, 425 141-172
Virginia (panic attacks), memories influenced by, 323

173-193 revisiting as a form of regres-
Catharsis, 19-25, 33-37, 423-425. sion, 320
See also Abreaction
as an integral process, 19 E
definition of, 21 Einstein, Albert, 42
opportunity for growth, 21
Emotional clearing
preparing for possible, 33
for healing and self-expression,
release of intense energy, 33
24
spontaneous, not planned, 19
important healing work
understanding of, 20
through, 22
Cathartic method, 21, 423
not always necessary, 27
Compassion, detached, 42
openness to, 28
D Emotional clearing regression
steps in, 36
Deep Journeys (Kelzer), 425 Emotional expression
Deep Journey Method, 425 encouragement of, 34
Detachment evolving to catharsis, 34
as per subconscious guidance, through physical movement,
28 34
methods of, 28 Emotions, 19-24, 27-30, 32, 34-37
support of signals for, 29 discomfort working with, 36
Detachment methods dissociative suggestions for
develop regression skills using, further detachment, 29
20
expressing within the thera-
for the avoidance of emotions,
peutic context, 24, 33
21
expression of not always neces-
routine use to avoid emotions,
sary, 27
21
permission to explore, 23, 27,
Dissociation
avoid Gestalt with, 29 28
grounding energy with, 44 releasing the repression of, 23
setting up, 28 using breath to get in touch
Dreams with, 34
as metaphor, xvii using detachment to avoid, 21,
as reality to subconscious, 320, 28
323 using Gestalt to encourage, 19,
associations with, · 224, 320 27,29,30
as subconscious integration of utilizing openness to explore,
experiences, 320 27, 29
experiences combine with, 25, Expectations
212 not to be influenced by, 217
Index 437
F Guilt
association with, 406
Fear feelings of, 205, 227, 405
association with experiences, working through, 417
25,406 working with, 143, 375-401
expression of, 149
feelings of, 173-174, 263, 281, H
375-376, 405, 410
Hammond, D. Corydon, 424
working through, 48, 263
Hilgard, Ernest, 346
working with, 49, 120, 130,
Hinsie, Leland, 423
134, 143, 176, 182-185, 188,
Hypermnesia, 223
282, 355-374, 378 Hypnosis
Forensic hypnosis, 223-224 for recalling memories, 19
Forgiveness Hypnotherapy
not to be coaxed, 37 for increased recollection, 223
when a person is ready, 37 for uncovering work, 223
Freud, Sigmund, 21, 423 Hypnotic Dreamwork, xvii
Fromm, Erika, 424 accept as subconscious reality,
320
G developing skills in, 20
Gestalt, xv great shifts common in, 25
independent study of, 20
I
modified approach to, 35
to encourage expression of Ideomotor Magic in Exploratory
emotion, 19 Hypnosis (Churchill), 28
Gestalt dreamwork ldeomotor signals
accept as subconscious reality, access inner knowledge, 28
320 for subconscious guidance and
developing skills in, 20 direction, 27
Gestalt processes for subconscious permission,
for inner awareness, 20, 30 23
to intensify emotions, 30 to clear subconscious misun-
Grief derstanding, 28
getting in touch with, 23 to find memories, 28
release of repressed, 23 Ideomotor techniques
Grounding and centering, 39-45 selective integration of, 20
Grounding induction Isabella, Marche, 220
script for, 40
summary of steps, 45
J
Grounding techniques Journaling, 96-99
methods and uses of, 42 as adjunct to therapy, 96
K Perls, Fritz, 24
Pillows
Kelzer, Kenneth, 425 for expression/ release of emo-
Kroger, William, 424 tions, 67-69, 73
to externalize internalized feel-
L
ings, 66-67, 71, 114, 131,
Longman Dictionaary of Psychol- 156, 183-184,203,214,284
ogy and Psychiatry, 423 to make comfortable, 229, 255,
288
M to represent another person,
Memories 114-115, 118, 156, 158,
changing to reframe experi- 177, 180, 202-203, 235-237,
ence, 29 261-262, 264-265, 287, 336,
hypnotically recalling, 25 381, 384-386
not an exact snapshot, 25 to represent inner child, 93-94,
recovering with minimum 122, 126, 161-163, 185-186,
inaccuracy, 223 206,243,366-368,418
Metaphor use of in therapy, 34-35, 139,
subconscious, 320 213,247,272-273,298
value of, 319 Positive feelings
Molestation. See also Sexual catharsis with, 33
abuse Positive suggestions
early childhood, 220 for encouragement, 23
repressed memories of, 223 Post-hypnotic suggestions
working with suspected, for positive mental expectancy
195-218 316
Psychiatric Dictionary (Hinsie and
N Campbell), 423
Neutrality
an exception to the rule, 224
R
encouraging an open mind, Ramona, Gary, 221
220 Ramona, Holly, 220-222
importance of, 219 eliciting "recovered" memories
important for therapist, 27 220
p lessons in the case of, 220
Ramona, Stephanie, 220
Panic attacks, 173 Recovered memories, xvi, 21,
Past life regression, xvi-xvii, 219-224, 423-424
319-324,325,355,403 exception to neutrality rule,
neutral uncovering, 322 224
possible explanations for, 319 minimizing innacuracy in, 223
theory of, 319 necessity of neutrality, 220,
value of metaphor, 319 223,323
Index 439
not influenced by expectations, script for, 40

217 to tap into subconscious, 300
red flag with some specialists, Sexual abuse, 219-224.
219 See also Molestation
use of hypnosis with, 319 flashbacks of, 195
Regression flashbacks vs. symbolic inter-
major steps in, 19 pretation, 217
Regression hypnotherapy working with possibility of,
as opportunity to work with 198
emotions, 33 Shame
for exploring unresolved is- associations with, 200
sues, 33 emotional clearing with, 24
leading to positive feelings, 33 feeling of, 173, 196, 215, 264
Regression Hypnotherapy working with, 107-127, 143,
(Churchill), xv-xvii, 19, 200-201,265-266,272
321 Sodium amytal ("truth serum")
Release 221
abreaction with, 35 Studies in Hysteria (Breuer and
attempting to limit, 21 Freud), 423
constructive, 24-25, 36 Subconscious mind
in emotional clearing, 27, 29, seat of emotions and memories,
33 21
of feelings, 19 Suggestibility
of held back emotions, 23 potential effects of, 219
of psychic tensions, 21 Suggestibility factor
the value of, 23 inherent in hypnosis, 323
with spontaneous catharsis, 20 understanding of, 323
Resistance
concerns about, 30 T
constructive possibilities, 30 Terr, Lenore, 223
Rosenberg, Simon, 22, 424 The New Harvard Guide to Psy-
Rose, Richard, 221 chiatry, 423
s Therapeutic breakthroughs
furthered by self-analysis, 36
Scheflin, Alan, 424 integrated into the here and
Self-hypnosis now, 36
encouragement of, 25, 297, 313, Tissues
364,368,376,396,420-421 use of in therapy, 34, 89-90,
for further value, 25, 44, 207, 205-206,231,330,382
251, 300, 316 Transforming Therapy, 425
for inner child work, 207, 368, Trauma
418 blocked or past life, 321
not recommended for cathartic buried, 22
work, 212-213 coping with, 31
hypnosis for repressed memo-

ries of, 223
ideomotor signals with, 323
neutrality in uncovering work
with, 322
observing a session involving,
43
processing unresolved, 19
regression to, 33
reliving, 31
residual effects of, 25
u
Unchained Memories (Terr), 223
v
Vomiting
during therapy, 89-90, 97, 101,
383
w
Wastebasket
use of in therapy, 34, 85, 89,
361, 382
Watkins, John, 423
y
Yapko, Michael, 424
Regression Hypnotherapy
Transcripts of Transformation, Volume I
The "Ultimate Teaching Text" by Randal Churchill
An intimate view of profound therapy by America 's leading regression teacher.
Winner of the Founders Award for Excellence in Professional Literature.
Randal Churchill has taught his pioneering regression work to thousands

of therapists over three decades. In this fascinating, well-organized and
responsible training guide, he uses his unique style to weave together a
powerful combination of methods for deeply transforming therapy.
There has been a strong need for more comprehensive literature in
the extremely important field of regression therapy. Guidance and details
regarding therapeutic options is severely limited in most books. Almost
all books on the topic provide little or no information on various power-
ful and crucial forms of the work, such as the integration of Gestalt, and
protective and exploratory ideomotor methods.
Regression Hypnotherapy gives the reader an inside look at the tremen-
dous range of possibilities available for regression strategies. With great
skill and sensitivity, the author integrates a wealth of effective options, uti-
lizing 15 Major Steps in Emotional Clearing Regression. Comprehensive
strategies often include regressing to initial sensitizing events, emotional
clearing, uncovering misconceptions and doing reeducation. Riveting tran-
scripts and commentary complement chapters providing clearly written
principles, documenting the profound potential of this work.
"Regression Hypnotherapy, by Randal Churchill, is destined to become an

instant classic and will be used by hypnotherapists for decades to come.
This ultimate teaching text is highly recommended for all in the field."
-Ormond McGill, CHt
The Dean of American Hypnotists
Author of over 25 books
432 pages, hardbound, with a beautiful dust cover. Printed on acid-free,
natural recycled paper with soy-based ink.
Visit www.transformingpress.com, for more information, includ-
ing the Table of Contents, Preface, reviews, a sample chapter, and an order
form to get an autographed copy.
Transforming Press, PO Box 9369, Santa Rosa CA 95405
email: [email protected]
Early Praise for "An Instant Classic"
"Randal Churchill has done it again! In his latest text, Regression
Hypnotherapy, memorable case transcripts with invaluable process com-
ments fix techniques in the reader's mind, adding richly to the insight.ful
theoretical sections. The methodology is presented with great clarity for
practical integration into modern hypnotherapy practice. The process
comments accompanying the therapy transcripts are invaluable.
"Randal Churchill's merging of key Gestalt Therapy concepts into
regression, hypnoanalysis, reeducation and integration processes of
Clinical Hypnotherapy is a major advance in the teaching literature of
Hypnotherapy. A brilliant blending of theory and practice, Regression
Hypnotherapy is a must read and study for practitioners and students
of hypnotherapy." .
-Gil Boyne, CHt
Founder and CEO, American Council of Hypnotist Examiners
Author of Transforming Therapy
"Randal Churchill has written a rich and stimulating book on the

complex and ever sensitive topic of regression hypnotherapy. I recom-
mend it highly for its lucid text, steeped in his many years of practice
and his masterful training of hypnotherapists. The depth of Randal's
experience and his thorough sense of care and compassion for his cli-
ents shine through again and again. Regression Hypnotherapy is a superb
contribution to the field."
-Kenneth Kelzer, LCSW
Author of Deep Journeys
"Regression Hypnotherapy, written by one of the most insightful and

innovative regression therapists in the field, is the most important book
about regression ever published. Randal Churchill's unique style and
gifted insight give clarity to the rich potential for transformation exist-
ing in the deeper intelligence of our own minds.
"With expert guidance and sensitivity, he leads individuals into the
inner world of subconscious memories and emotions - assisting them
through powerful emotional clearing and the access of their own inner
wisdom for understanding and reeducation - transforming past traumas
and emerging with triumphant clarity and peace. Churchill's skilled
direction in actual sessions is an art form as well as powerful therapy."
-Cheryl Canfield, CHt
Author of Profound Healing
Become the Dream
The Transforming Power of Hypnotic Dreamwork
Randal Churchill, the originator of Hypnotic Dreamwork™,
writes the 2nd Edition of the book that transcends interpretation
The "unique and revolutionary" Become the Dream, the first book about
combining dreams and hypnotherapy, is winner of the Founders Award for
Excellence in Professional Literature. Integrating a wealth of hypnotherapy
modalities with Gestalt dreamwork, Randal Churchill demonstrates Hypnotic
Dreamwork, based on original work he began developing in 1970.
• The vast majority of dreamwork methods rely on analysis and inter-
pretation. By contrast, Gestalt dreamwork brings the dreamer into a deeper
experience of the dream itself and allows the individual to find the unique
relationship of the dream to his or her own existential experience. The work
can go much further with the addition of a variety of effective options such as
hypnotic deepening, ideomotor methods, regression and positive suggestions
for further insight and integration.
•The first two chapters of the book provide a foundation for understanding
the potential value of hypnotherapy, Gestalt dreamwork, and the integration of
these forms of therapy. The third chapter gives insights for developing dream
recall and lucid dream skills. A later chapter emphasizes the author's signature
processes of elicited and guided hypnodreams. The rest of the book focuses
primarily on transcripts and commentary of a wide range of fascinating dream-
work sessions, which draw the reader into an intimate look at therapy from
the inside. With sensitivity and skill; the author demonstrates the remarkable
potential of this unique work to tap into the receptivity and wisdom inherent
in the subconscious mind and the potential for profound change.
• Become the Dream is a powerful and practical teaching tool for professionals
in any of the health and counseling fields, and an inspiring and provocative
book for anyone seeking self-knowledge and actualization.
"This fascinating book is unique and revolutionary ... an important addi-
tion to the fields of dream therapy, hypnotism, Gestalt therapy and psychology.
Become the Dream is a major breakthrough, a text of university and universal
level, worthy of worldwide acclaim."
- From the Foreword by Ormond McGill, The Dean of American Hypnotists
Second Edition © 2009: 288 pages, hardbound, with a beautiful dust cover.
Visit www.transformingpress.com, for more information, including
the Table of Contents, Foreword, reviews, a sample chapter, and an order form
to get an autographed copy.
Transforming Press, PO Box 9369, Santa Rosa CA 95405 • [email protected]
Praise for Become the Dream from the Fields of
Psychology, Gestalt Therapy, Hypnotherapy & Dreamwork
"Randal Churchill is one of the best hypnotherapists working today, and
a superb teacher of this powerful transformative art. He has poured his heart,
his soul, and over 25 years of hands-on experience into his new book, which is
filled with information on the best methods and techniques for working with
dreams, hypnosis, regression and the subconscious mind .... Essential reading
for counselors and therapists."
- Dr. Jim Dreaver, author of The Ultimate Cure
"Become the Dream is a very welcome addition to the literature of Gestalt
Therapy. Gestalt dream work, when practiced skillfully, is more art form than
therapy, and I'm happy to see that Randal Churchill understands truly the art
of working with dreams."
- Robert K. Hall, M.D., Psychiatrist, Gestalt Therapist, Lomi School Founder
"Become the Dream promises an awareness that goes beyond the bounds of
our five senses. Combining hypnosis and dreamwork as Churchill has done con-
firms the ancient aboriginal understanding that dreaming is an intangible world
that is an intimate and indispensable aspect of the tangible one. Avoiding the
typical conscious interpretations of dreams, Churchill shows how transformation
is more likely when dreams are experienced via the hidden power of hypnosis."
- Dr. Donald Trent Jacobs, author of Patient Communication for First Responders
"Randal Churchill's caring style and humor provide an added dimension to
this inspiring and pioneering work. Become the Dream illuminates the personal
and existential relationship of the dream to the dreamer. Unlike interpretive
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subconscious mind reveals real dramas being played out in life. Connecting
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tic array of techniques with gifted intuition to lead the dreamer to profound
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- Cheryl Canfield, CHt, author of Profound Healing
"In Become the Dream Randal Churchill provides innovative approaches to
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pist relationship in any counseling situation. The dialogues are particularly
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Here are Comments from HTI Graduates
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-Priscilla Broussard, CHt, Swannanoa, NC
"When I saw your brilliant work in New Zealand last year I was so impressed I
knew I certainly had to come and learn more. The month here has simply flown,
full of real gems in terms of therapy, and in terms of getting to know myself better.
The depth of the excellent therapy demonstrations and the personal knowl-
edge, commitment and sincerity of each instructor is truly remarkable."
-Dr. David Page, Registered Psychologist, Palmerston North, New Zealand
"In my blind assumption that this was merely a fine school for the training of
hypnotherapists, I found myself walking willingly into a sage and loving co-
coon. In this place, I experienced and witnessed spiritual transformation and
personal growth unparalleled in any other single event of my life. The depth and
breadth of the wisdom and knowledge offered to your students far exceeded
my wildest expectations, and the deep bonding I accomplished with the class
I will carry in my heart forever."
-Catherine Hershon, CHt, Marketing Researcher, Sausalito, CA
"It's very hard to find the words to express my profound gratitude and appre-
ciation for everything I was privileged to witness in class - it was almost like
a fairy-tale where miracles can be worked easily, effortlessly, and joyfully.
Everything was performed with great skill, experience, feeling, respect, and deep
love." -Tanya Konyukhova, CHt, Translator, Moscow, Russia
"The moment I arrived, I knew this was it. This is what I've been searching
for for over three decades. I was literally bursting with excitement, experiencing
new worlds with each new lesson .... In the years that I've been wroking as a
hypnotherapist I've met many others in the same field. What arrests my atten-
tion is that although some of these peopple have attended excellent schools they
have not the broad range of knowledge that I have acquired at HTI..."
-Mary Caldwell, CHt, Charlotte, NC
Early Praise for
Catharsis in 'Regression ']-{y_pnotfiera_py
"Randal Churchill has given us another 'break-through' volume of his
amazing publications on regression hypnotherapy. I've never before
encountered such detailed, professionally impeccable, verbatim
transcriptions of cathartic release therapy that convey, so deeply, a
therapist's capacity for compassion, while at the same time offering
profound teachings for therapists in training.
"Catharsis in Regression Hypnotherapy: Transcripts of Transformation is a
treasure, and a resource for the entire field of depth psychotherapy,
an offering whose gifts are never-ending. In his new book, Randal's
skills as a brilliq.nt therapist are enriched by his skillful integration of
Gestalt Therapy with hypnotherapy, his huge capacity for insight, and
his maturity as a master teacher of his work."
Robert K. Hall, M.D.
Psychiatrist, Gestalt Therapist, Co-founder: Lomi Foundation
Dharma Teacher: Spirit Rock Meditation Center & El Dharma Retreats
"In Catharsis in Regression Hypnotherapy Randal Churchill has written

an excellent companion volume to Regression Hypnotherapy. With
courage, confidence and lucidity, he consistently goes into the deepest
places where his subjects have been wounded and leads them through
healing trance sessions. No wonder they trust him so much as his
commitment to their healing is as strong and steadfast as it is gentle
and respectful."
Kenneth Kelzer, LCSW
Author of Deep Journeys
"Catharsis in Regression Hypnotherapy is rich in fascinating case material

and instruction that teaches therapists the keys to exceptionally
powerful therapeutic results. With insight gained from four decades of
clinical experience combined with his acute sensitivity and intuition,
Randal Churchill merges Gestalt Therapy into regression, reeducation
and integration processes guided by a blend of theory and practice. The
profound effectiveness of his work is eloquently demonstrated through
transcripts, commentary and follow-up interviews of dramatic cases
showing remarkable results. This is a major advance in the teaching
literature of Hypnotherapy. Adding to Regression Hypnotherapy, this
companion volume is a powerful model and teaching tool, a must
read for experienced therapists and students alike."
Gil Boyne, CHt
Founder and Executive Dir., American Council of Hypnotist Examiners
Author of Transforming Therapy
"Catharsis in Regression Therapy is an exquisitely powerful model of
the healing potential of regression therapy. What better way to fix
these methods into your own subconscious mind than to read and
re-read these excellent examples of Churchill's innovative work. As a
companion to Regression Hypnotherapy, Volume I, this work again sets
the standard for our profession. I highly recommend this book to any
serious hypnotherapy students and practitioners."
Katherine Zimmerman, CHt
Author of Hypnotherapy Scripts, Volumes I - III
"Containing the substance of many years of experience with clients,

Catharsis in Regression Hypnotherapy by Randal Churchill is an excellent
book for the hypnosis professional. Although many facilitators guide
clients to avoid negative emotions, Churchill helps clients confront
their emotions in order to experience catharsis and release; and he
obtains excellent results. The healing power of love and forgiveness
will be apparent to the reader."
Roy Hunter, M.S., FAPHP
Author of Hypnosis for Inner Conflict Resolution: Introducing Parts Therapy
Catharsis in
'Regression ']-{yynotherayy

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Catharsis in

Copyright© 2008 by Randal Churchill

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized

Some names have been changed in certain transcripts included

Cover design by Nadise Whiteside

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 2008907272

FIRST EDITION. Printed in the United States of America

1. The Value of Catharsis in Regression 19

14. Jill's Writing Block

15. Kane's Rebellion Revisited

16. Theresa's Abusive Relationships

17. Regarding Past Life Regression 319

18. Corinna's Self-Destruction

19. Chris' Terror

20. Chris' Guilt

?t6out the ?luthor

While the first volume includes many explorations of working

purpose of therapy, the energy that. is affecting an individual as

The Value of Catharsis

The appropriate use of comprehensive emotional clearing

Selecting Appropriate Processes

occurs during therapy, the subconscious is signalling a desire for

Understanding Abreaction and Catharsis

books for hypnotherapists. When it is emphasized, it is often done

or detachment. However, in such a context, even an unexpected

Exploring the Value of Emotional Release

fact, by expressing emotions within the therapeutic context, a

Considerations to Keep in Mind

change in the energy of the other person. Some clients have

Emotional clearing is a process that allows an individual to get

Ideomotor Methods for Subconscious Guidance

options for therapeutic intervention. Moving forward after such

Working with Emotions After Signals for Detachment

Sometimes there is an initial request for detachment, but as the

Utilizing Openness to Emotions

integrated as appropriate to release stifling emotions, transform

In spite of the strong negative memory and feelings encouraged

Working with Abreaction

Abreaction is a highly emotional reliving of an experience, which

Preparation for Potential Catharsis

(Even a large, strong therapist needs to be prepared for physical

Encouraging Emotional Awareness and Expression

To help a client get more in touch with emotions, the therapist

Bioenergetics and related body oriented therapies emphasize

Bringing It All Together

Grounding and Centering

Grounding and centering techniques empower you as a

A Grounding and Centering Induction

color. It is showering down on you and cleansing you. If it is daytime you

Methods and Uses

forms of massage, and some aspects of physical therapy. There are

could be a sign that there is some significant issue that is unresolved.

Summary of Sample Grounding

1. Eye focus with deep breathing and counting, then closing

Daniel's Emotional Blocking

Daniel has come from across the country for continuing

though you really do have to work at something to learn it, you

DANIEL: That's true.

DANIEL: Exactly. I don't know if this relates to it, but I was