.EV.ERYItlll~u YUU l"lttLJ J.V J.U'IIVVV 1.'-.1 .

rJJ"1VL

THE BEST BIRTH EXPERIENCE FOR YOU-

WHETHER IN A HOSPITAL, BIRTHING CENTER,
OR THE COMFORT OF HOME

"Ina May Gaskin is a magnificent midwife and a wondrous

storyteller-and a writer who thinks deeply about the literal and
metaphoric place of birth in this country. This book
belongs on the bedside table of every expectant mother."
-Chris Bohjalian, author of Midwives and The Buffalo Soldier

"Simply put, midwife Ina May Gaskin is the most important

p ~rson in maternity care in North America, bar none. As a reproductive
scientist as well as a medical practitioner, I can assure readers that
BIRTH
·verything Ina May presents in this book is based on the best scientific
evidence. This book should be read by every woman who is having
or may someday have a baby, and by every midwife, nurse,
doula, childbirth educator, and doctor who assists or may someday
assist these women through their maternity experience."
-Marsden Wagner, M.D., M.S., former Director of Women's
and Children's Health, World Health Organization

"The inimitable Ina May Gaskin shares her birthing wisdom

once again, this time explaining how she and her team of midwives
have achieved such extraordinary success rates, and why the
natural birthing process, when left to its own devices, can proceed so
beautifully on its own. Required reading for;any woman
who wants to learn about her birthing options."
-Hope Edelman, author of Motherless Daughters

"Ina May Gaskin is an American treasure. In this invaluable

guide her deep experience and profound insights ,:treupdated for a
new generation and a new set of technologies. Indispensable!"
-Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth and Misconceptions
"There is nothing more important than how we are born.
We have forgotten this simple fact for far too long. Ina
May's Guide to Childbirth, as well as her earlier volume,
Spiritual Midwifery, is all we need to reconnect to the
empowering beauty of childbirth that is woman's
amazing gift for people-ing the earth.
"Few books have the potential to improve the life of
everyone born on the planet. This one does."

"Not only is Ina May Gaskin the most famous midwife

in the U.5.; indeed, she is the most famous midwife in the
world! This book will show you why. Ina May learned
about birth in the most direct way possible-from
attending births. Through the stories she t~lls in this
exciting new book, women can experience her learning
process. As Ina May learned, so her readers will learn
about themselves, their bodies, and their abilities as
birth-givers. And she will guide them through the maze
of new obstetrical technologies, showing them the way
toward wise decisions and fully informed choices."

-Robbie Davis-Floyd, author of Birth as an American

Rite of Passage
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 INA MAY'S GUIDE TO CHILDBIRTH
A Bantam Book / March 2003

Published by Bantam Dell

A Division of Random House, Inc.
New York, New York

This book provides information and stories about alternative

approaches to birth care. This book should not be substituted for
the personal care of a qualified physician or midwife, but should
be used only to consider and become familiar with the full range
of birthing options that are available today. The author and
publisher are not responsible for any adverse effects resulting
from the use of information contained in this book.

All rights reserved.

Copyright © 2003 by Ina May Gaskin

Book design by Lynn Newmark

Line art by Jackie Aher
For photograph and illustration credits, see page 349

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any

form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photo-
copying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval
system, without written permission from the publisher, except
where permitted by law.

Bantam Books is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc.,

and the colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Gaskin, Ina May.
Ina May's guide to childbirth / Ina May Gaskin. ,
p. em.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-553-38115-6
1. Childbirth. I. Title: Guide to childbirth. II. Title: From the na-
tion's leading midwife ... Ina May's guide to childbirth. III. Title.
RG661.G3762003
618.4'5-dc21
2002029901

Manufactured in the United States of America

Published simultaneously in Canada
'r want to thank my husband, Stephen Gaskin, for his unfailing willin ,-
o. ness to help me during the long process of writing this book. I liter-
ally could not have done this project without him. My thanks go also t
my agent, Stephany Evans; Pamela Hunt; Carol Nelson; Deborah
Flowers; Joanne Santana; Sharon Wells; Pamela Maurath; John
Williams, Jr., MD; Wendy Savage, MD; A. Mark Durand, MD; Alan
Graf; Anna Meenan, MD; Joseph Bruner, MD; Marsden Wagner;
Kenneth Johnson; David Frohman; Leigh Kahan; Robbie Davis-Floy I;
Elise Harvey; Leslie Hunt; Dana Gaskin Wenig; Claudia Oblasser;
Angelika RodIer; Michael Stohrer; Verena Schmidt; Betty Anne Daviss;
and Ken Starratt. I would also like to thank my editors, Robin
,Michaelson and Beth Rashbaum, and their assistant, Stacie Fine.
 AN INVITATION xi
Part I: BIRTH STORIES I
Part II: THE ESSENTIALS OF BIRTH 127
L-~
-:i "n..d~I'·(c.....Q
1. THE POWERFUL MIND/BODY CONNECTION 13.
2. Wl:fAT HAPPENS IN LABOR 14
3. THE PAIN/PLEASURE RIDDLE 150
.4. SPHINCTER LAW 167
5. WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR
PREGNANCY AND PRENATAL CARE 18.'
6. GOING INTO LABOR 20·~
7. GIVING BIRTH: MOVE FREELY, LET GRAVITY
WORK FOR YOU 226
8. FORGOTTEN VAGINAL POWERS AND EPISIOTOMY 248
9. THE THIRD STAGE OF LABOR 25
10. BENCHMARKS IN MIDWIFERY 26
11. WHAT YOU LEAST EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING 27 I
12. VAGINAL BIRTH AFTER CESAREAN (VBAC) 2 II
13. CHOOSING A CAREGIVER Oil
14. A VISION FOR MIDWIFERY AND MOTHERS IN
THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY II
GLOSSARY
APPENDIX A: THE FARM: OUTCOMES OF 2,028
PREGNANCIES 321
APPENDIX B: EVIDENCE-BASED CARE 323
APPENDIX C: THE MOTHER-FRIENDLY CHILDBIRTH
. INITIATIVE
APPENDIX D: THE SAFE MOTHERHOOD
INITIATIVES-USA 329
RESOURCES 331
INDEX 339

"' A!hatever your reason for picking up this book, I salute your cu-
Y\ riosity and your desire to know more about the important work
of having babies. For those who are pregnant, I kept you especially in
mind as I wrote this book.
Consider this your invitation to learn about the true capacities of the
female body during labor and birth. I'm not talking about a summary of
current medical knowledge translated from technical to popular lan-
guage. You can find plenty of that in bookstores. What I mean by true
capacities of the female body are those that are experienced by real
women, whether or not these abilities are recognized by medical au-
thoriti~s. The way I see it, the most trustworthy knowledge about
women's bodies combines the best of what medical science has offered
over the past century or two with what women have always been able to
learn about themselves before birth moved into hospitals. The purpose
of this book is to point you toward the best information currently avail-
able about women's real capacities in labor and birth and to show you
how these can mesh with the most effective use of modern birth tech-
nology. My intention is to encourage and inform you.
I have been a community midwife for more than three decades. I live in
a village in the United States in which wo.men and girls have little or no
fear of childbirth. My partners and I have attended the births of more than
2,200 babies, most of them born in their parents' homes or at our birth
center. Working in this way has enabled m~ to learn things about women
that are generally unknown in the world of medical education. It's not
easy to say whether the women in my viLage have less fear of birth be-
cause we know that our capabilities go beyond medical understanding or
that our capabilities are greater without aru:iety. Actually, both are true.
 The village is called The Farm, and it's located in southern Tennessee , tively rare for the women who give birth at The Farm. (Our cesarean
near Summertown. My husband and I, along with several hundred oth- rate up to the year 2000 was 1.4 percent; our forceps- and vacuum-
ers, founded it in 1971, and there we still live and work. One of the extraction rate was 0.05 percent. The U.S. national cesarean rate for
unique features of our community is that, from its beginning, the men 2001 was 24.4 percent, and the instrumental delivery rate was about
have not interfered with the women's desire to organize our own system 10 percent.) Women at The Farm know that labor can be painful, but
of birth care. At the same time, the men have always lent a good deal of many of them know as well that labor and birth can be ecstatic-even
support and technological expertise to make our care more readily ac- orgasmic. Above all, whether or not they experienced labor as painful,
cessible and available. They have never dictated where or how our ba- to a woman, they found labor and birth a tremendously empowerin
bies would be born. passage. .
Let me be clear about what I say about fear and birth at The Farm. I Have you never heard anyone speak positively about labor and bIrth
don't mean that these women in my village never experienced a few mo- before? If so, you are not alone. One of the best-kept secrets in North
ments of anxiety at the prospect of giving birth or wondered, Will I be American culture is that birth can be ecstatic and strengthening. Ecstatic
able to accomplish this seemingly impossible act? I'm sure that many of birth gives inner power and wisdom to the woman who experiences it,
us did wonder about this from time to time. Virtually all women do. Af- as you will learn from many of the birth stories told here. Even when
ter all, it is not immediately obvious to most people who grow up in civ- women in my village experience pain in labor, they understand that
ilized cultures-especially those in which most people live totally apart there are ways of making the sensations of labor and birth tolerable that
from animals-how birth can happen. When s~ch moments of doubt do not involve numbing the senses with drugs. They know that it is bet-
occur to women in my village, they are able to fall back on the sure ter to keep their senses alive if they are to experience the true wisdom
knowledge that their closest friends and sisters and mothers have been and power that labor and birth have to offer.
able to do it. This knowledge then makes it possible for them to believe In Part I of this book, you will hear the voices of these women as
that they can too-whether or not they've ever witnessed the act of they tell their birth stories. Some of the stories are told by the pioneer-
birth itself. The women at The Farm have relearned and been highly ing generation that collectively created the birth culture of our village;
successful at kinds of female behavior that modern women in civilized others are told by their daughters and daughters-in-law, who grew up
cultures aren't known to be good at-those that go beyond the common within this culture or. whose partner did. A {ew are told by women wh
medical understanding of women's bodies and birth. were born at home and grew up within our birth culture, who gay
My experiences as a midwife have taught me that women's bodies birth with other midwives. Other stories are those of women who de-
still work. Here is your chance to be exposed to a new understanding of cided to partake of our successful birth culture by having their babi s
an ancient system of knowledge that you can add to your general un- at our birth center. If you are pregnant or plan a pregnancy in the near
derstanding of what birth means. Wherever and however you intend to future, you may want to return to these birth stories again and again to
give birth, your experience will impact your emotions, your mind, your strengthen your own spirit in preparation for giving birth.
body, and your spirit for the rest of your life. My first book, Spiritual Midwifery, was one of the first North
The women in my village':- expect to give birth vaginally, for that is American books about midwifery and birth when its first edition w ..
the way all but one or two out of every hundred have their babies. Yes, published in 1975. It quickly sold more than half a million copies and
we do sometimes have to transport a woman to the hospital for a ce- was translated into several languages, introducing me not only to a gCI1
sarean or instrumental delivery, but such interventions are compara- eration of childbearing women and their partners but to a surprisi,'l',
number of doctors and other birth professionals as well. In some COLI II
'f! want you to understand that this village includes a school, a clinic, a water system, a tries, the book was made part of the curriculum of midwifery scho Is.
soy foods production plant, and several businesses, including a small factory that manu-
factures and markets a personal radiation detector that was invented in our village.
In several, doctors told me that they read it in order to recover frolll

'~ xii •• A n I n v ita t ion

 some of the more frightening aspects of their training in obstetrics. I be- In addition, Part II includes an overview of the practices and treat-
gan to meet a breed of doctors who called themselves MDs (Midwives ments you are likely to encounter in a North American hospital, al I 11
in Disguise). Because of the book and the birth statistics published in it, with a guide to those that are based upon solid scientific evidence and
I was invited to travel all over the world and to share the results of my those that are not.
colleagues' and my work with birth professionals and women from Birthing is so integral with life-so common-that choices sur-
many different countries and cultures. This kind of cross-cultural expe- rounding it often get relegated to chance. We tend to go along with what
rience has let me look at birth and maternity care with a broad per- everyone else is doing, assuming that must be for the best. Living in a
spective and compare how certain obstetrical practices and habits that technological society, we tend to think that the best of everything is the
become entrenched in certain countries actually work against the most most expensive kind available. This is generally true, whether we are
efficient functioning of women's bodies. My experience has also taught talking about cell phones, cameras, cars, or computers. When it comes
me how necessary the midwife's role is in any given society and how im- to birth, it ain't necessarily so.
portant it is that the profession of midwifery stand on its own-inde-
pendent of obstetrics but always able to work with obstetricians in the
comparatively rare instances when the need arises.
Not long ago an obstetrician acquaintance remarked, "The two most
interesting pages in Spiritual Midwifery were the last two." He meant
the pages devoted to reporting our birth outcomes at The Farm. He
said, "You need to explain how you were able to accomplish what you
did, so that we who work in hospitals may incorporate your work into
what we do." Part II of this book is for him and for everyone who wants
to understand why the birth culture of The Farm has been such a suc-
cess. I discuss the guiding principles that surround and define our work
and recommend techniques that can be transposed from home birth to
hospital birth.
In Part II, I discuss in detail why there is so much mystery sur-
rounding the functioning of women's bodies in birth and how we at The
Farm were able to remove much of that mystery and turn it into work-
ing knowledge available to virtually everyone in our community. I ex- My partners and I. Left to right: Joanne Santana,
CPM; Deborah Flowers, CPM; Pamela Hunt, CPM;
plain why there is such a wide range of women's experiences in birth Ino May Gaskin, CPM; Carol Nelson, CPM; and
and why there can be such divergent interpretations of what is safe or Sharon Wells, CPM
unsafe in birth-giving. There is a logical explanation for all of this. The
same goes for pain in labor: In Part II, I delve into how it is that birth
can be experienced as painless-even orgasmic-or, more commonly in
civilized cultures, as the most: intense kind of pain. You'll learn that: a
woman's uterus in labor can close as well as open and about the condi-
tions that: are likely to make labor stall or go backward. You'll read
about some practical ways to make the sexuality of birth work for you,
not against you.

l~ 'i" • A" '"" it a Ii a "

T here is extraordinary psychological benefit in belonging to a group
. of women who have positive stories to tell about their birth experi-
ences. This phenomenon is exactly what developed within our village.
So many horror stories circulate about birth-especially in the United
States-that it can be difficult for women to believe that labor and birth
can be a beneficial experience. If you have been pregnant for a while, it's
probable that you've already heard some scary birth stories from
friends or relatives. This is especially true if you live in the United
States, where telling pregnant women gory stories has been a national
pastime for at least a century. Now that birth has become a favorite
subject of television dramas and situation comedies, this trend has
been even more pronounced. No one has explained the situation
more succinctly than Stephen King in his novella "The Breathing
 Method. "':' Commenting on the fear many women have of birth, his fic- experiences are an irreplaceable way to transmit knowledge of a
tional character obs"erves, "Believe me: if you are told that some experi- woman's true capacities in pregnancy and birth.
ence is going to hurt, it will hurt. Most pain is in the mind, and when a
woman absorbs the idea that the act of giving birth is excruciatingly ~ James's Birth-November 16, 1986
painful-when she gets this information from her mother, her sisters, By Karen Lovell
her married friends, and her physician-that woman has been mentally
prepared to feel great agony." King, you may not know, is the father of Huntsville, Alabama-Rocket City, U.S.A., where "the sky is not the
several children born at home. limit." My husband, Ron, had gone to work for the maker of the world's
The best way I know to counter the effects of frightening stories is to fastest supercomputers and was stationed at the NASA Marshall Space
hear QrJead errp..9::ve.!in on~l. I mean stories that change you because Flight Center. For all intents and purposes, it appeared that we were peo-
you read or heard them, because the teller of the story taught you some- ple geared toward state-of-the-art technology, people who would accept
thing you didn't know before or helped you look at things from a dif- the latest and greatest, even when it came to childbirth. So why The Farm?
ferent angle than you ever had before. For this reason, Part I of this That answer begins with the birth of my first son, Christopher. I had
book is largely devoted to stories told by women who planned to have just completed working for teacher certification. My plan was to get a
home or birth-center births with me and my midwife partners. You may job teaching that fall, but before that could happen, I realized I was
find this part of the book to be the one you want to read the most dur- pregnant. I-lere I was, fresh out of school with a lot of science courses
ing pregnancy. At The Farm, the only horror stories we shared were under my belt, and I felt I didn't know anything about childbirth. Yes, 1
those of previous births in which the care had been radically different knew the mechanics, how the body responded, what happened, but I
from that given by Farm midwives. As women began to have positive was totally ignorant as to how hospitals and medical professionals re-
experiences giving birth, their stories helped to calm the fears and wor- sponded to childbirth. Learning something about what options I had
ries of those who had not yet had babies. The confidence that these started me on my search for alternatives.
women gained from one another was a significant factor in why the My first visit with a highly recommended obstetrician in town was
midwifery care at The Farm has produced such good results. pretty unpleasant. The first thing I was told was the temperature in the
Stories teach us in ways we can remember. They teach us that each . delivery room could not be adjusted, altho\lgh the lights could. When I
woman responds to birth in her unique way and how very wide- asked to not have an episiotomy, he skirted the issue entirely by asking
ranging that way can be. Sometimes they teach us about silly practices me what kind of episiotomy I meant, never once saying whether he
once widely held that were finally discarded. They teach us the occa- would or would not give me one. This bothered me, but I knew this was
sional difference between accepted medical knowledge and the real about as magnanimous as he was going to get, so I let it slide. For the
bodily experiences that women have-including those that are never time being, I was getting good prenatal care. I could change later. How-
reported in medical textbooks nor admitted as possibilities in the ever, as time went on, I was less and less sure of this doctor. In fact, I
medical world. They also demonstrate the mind/body connection in a grew to distrust him. All along, there were little hints that he and I were
way that medical studies cannot. Birth stories told by women who in different head spaces. The biggest came during the sixth month of
were active participants in giving birth often express a good deal of pregnancy, when I was sent a certified letter that made no sense whatso-
practical wisdom, inspiration, and information for other women. Pos- ever, unless one read it do it my way or else. Finally, in the seventh
itive stories shared by women who have had wonderful childbirth month, the doctor said there could be no Leboyer birth,':' after leading

"The Leboyer method of birth, described by Dr. Frederick Leboyer in Birth Without
"'Read it after you've had your baby, as it is a frightening story, even though the scary Violence, calls for dim lights, soft voices, and the placement of the newborn baby in ~
part isn't about the birth process. body-temperature bath.

't.~ 4 • Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

,
 me to believe all these months there would be. It was at that point that I be at The Farm). When we arrived, we met Deborah Flowers and Pa-
knew I didn't want'this man touching me-and internal exams were to mela Hunt, who showed us the facilities and checked me. Deborah said
begin in two weeks. I knew I had to find someone else. I was one centimeter dilated and loose, which I attribute to her absolute
A nurse who practiced as an underground midwife suggested a doc- gentleness and the strong rapport I felt with her.
tor from a nearby town who would provide more considerate care. Ron was impressed that the birth cottage had hospital equipment to
Under his care I was able to have a Leboyer birth experience, but the stabilize an in:fant in an emergency. He was also impressed with the fact ,
hospital gowns and masks meant to create a more "sterile" environment that the midwives were emergency medical technicians and very quali- I~~
were just that-sterile, cold, and intimidating. Also I had to labor on my fied in their work. He decided to go along with a birthing at The Farm if ~JJ\SA
back because of the monitor and ended up with a big episiotomy and our insurance would cover it. We found out in a few days that it would.
forceps delivery. Because Deborah was my main midwife, I would bare my soul to
One of the pregnant women, who became my friend after the birth her. I just knew things would go well. The Farm had it all: "in tune"
of my son, used an original copy of Spiritual Midwifery as her bible, and midwives, a birthing house, a clinic with a holistic outlook, and doctor!
even tore out pictures and pages and pasted them on her wall. Her hospital backup if necessary. I also liked subtle nuances such as help-
daughter's birth, which took place at home, had a profound effect on ing the baby's head stretch the mother out without tearing, not
me. In the back of my mind I thought that, perhaps someday, I would relying on cold machines such as ultrasound and internal fetal moni-
have a child whose passage into this world would be really loving and tors, knowing how to deliver breech babies, and having faith in the uni-
spiritual. verse.
My second pregnancy was hardly noticeable. It seemed that the baby When I went into labor back in Huntsville, I didn't believe it at first
sort of slipped in and was no problem. The only indications of my preg- and continued my project of cleaning all the carpets in the house. Inter-
nancy were that I missed my March and April periods and my clothes mittently, I rested on the bed to reduce the contractions until 4:00 P.M.,
were a little tight around my waist. I wasted no time in finding the most when I realized I could no longer clean rugs. I waited a while to make
"lenient" obstetrician in town. I had no problems with him and found sure of what I was feeling, then at 5:00 I called Ron to come home. He
he was very honest with me. He flatly told me he insisted on an LV. and showed up, took things to the car, and we took off down the road after
that the hospital required an internal fetal monitor, although I could . calling the midwives.
sign a legal waiver and not have the monitor. I had resigned myself to Contractions were steady and strong. Ron clocked them at seven
this type of birth if necessary but decided to investigate further. I finally minutes apart. Because I sat as still as possible, they remained unchanged.
obtained a copy of Spiritual Midwifery from a health-food store in My back hurt with each contraction, which surprised me. Our drive was
Nashville, where I grew up. Several weeks later I wrote to The Farm, a little over two hours, and I was grateful for almost no traffic. Once at
and Deborah Flowers responded. The Farm, Ron called Deborah, who came to let us in. I crawled onto the
I immediately felt as if a deep-seated prayer had been answered and bed, where Deborah checked me. Ron brought things in while Deborah
prayed that if The Farm was right for me I'd end up there. When I told helped me through my labor. Chris had fallen asleep on a nearby fold-
Ron about hearing from The Farm, I think he was worried. After all, I down chair. Ron sat down on the bed to help me with my back, which
had seemed so content this time and the hospital was only ten minutes really hurt. Deborah grabbed my thigh while Ron pushed my back. It
away. Why did I want to go up to The Farm, which was about seventy helped, and I told them so.
miles away? I could feel the baby moving down. I remembered Kim, this young
Ron and I had a continuing dialogue about childbirth at The Farm. woman giving birth on a video that Deborah had shown me. :,he had
Finally, we both decided to go visit with an open mind (although I must been really calm and didn't have a husband to rely on. What a (;hicken I
admit I wasn't quite as open-minded as Ron; I simply knew I wanted to was, groaning, "Oh, my back!" ~"'ftN\')t "(iJ t 1'. '''-J1~~Q '

~ 6 • Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

 Just at transition,':' I wailed, "My back is killing me." Then, and it
cited. I still didn't want to call these cramps" contractions" in case it
was truly a prayer, "Oh, God, help me." Just then I felt my whole bot-
wasn't really happening. I timed them and they were about four min-
tom bulge. The midwives commented on how stretchy I was. I pushed,
utes apart. Donna asked if I wanted to go see a midwife, but I decided to
and they could see the head. I pushed again and out came the head. Such
hold off until I was sure I wasn't getting excited over nothing.
a relief. The rest of the body seemed like nothing. Ron got to cut the
Finally, in the middle of a Star Trek rerun, while my body was posi-
umbilical cord after it was clamped, and Chris awoke in time to see the
tioning itself in contorted ways all over the chair I was trying to sit in, I
cut. A few minutes later I was easily able to push the squishy blob (the
placenta) out of me. concluded that I had better see a midwife. Donna and I drove over to
Pamela's. She checked me and informed me that I was three centimeters
I had a beautiful baby boy, born around 11:50 P.M. with hardly any
dilated and that I would probably give birth that same night. Surprised
head molding. He wanted to relax before nursing. We looked him over,
and happy, we went home to prepare.
. then gave him to Joanne to weigh and dress while Deborah and Pamela
Finally, the moment had come. Pamela soon arrived, followed by Ina
gave me two stitches for a small tear.
May and Deborah. By this time, my ability to converse had deteriora.ted.
I was grateful to have had such an easy pregnancy and that the birth
I was just trying to deal with what was happening to my body. Th~ngs
itself was not just a psychosocial event but spiritual as welL I was thank-
were happening quickly. I didn't try to hold any of the contractIOns
ful to have such loving, caring midwives and such a loving, thoughtful
back. I just let them come as fast as they wanted to, knowing that would
husband. I knew that this was the right way to have a baby. I enjoyed
help the birth happen without delay. It all felt very natural. I just "went
how the midwives paid attention to every detail and looked at things in-
tuitively as well as on the surface. with it." I went with taking a bath too, which was very helpful and relax-
ing. Ina May and my mother gave me support in the bathtub. Ina May
The next day I felt so good. I looked at the clear blue November sky
showed me how to breathe deeply and slowly.
and the brown oak leaves left on the trees and basked in the warmth of
I tried it, and just then one of the strongest contractions yet over-
the sun. I realized that I was truly blessed, that there really were some
whelmed me. I had to stand up. Some bloody, gray stuff dribbled and
things on which technology could not improve-one of those was the
plopped into the bathwater. About this time, I started saying, "O~,
billion-year-old evolutionary process of human childbirth. To some it
God!" I came out of the bathroom and did what I had to do, whether It
may have seemed primitive; to me it was perfect.
was squat, bend over, walk around, say, "Q..~,my G~," or dance like a
whooping crane. The contractions were getting very intense. I hardly
0>;4' Harley's Birth-October 19, 1995
had time between them to rest.
By Celeste Kuklinski
I remember looking at all the ladies there, who had done this quite a
few times, and thinking they had been nuts!
Around five o'clock I started feeling unusual cramps. Not wanting to
I got on the bed and kind of writhed around. My mother. said so~e-
give a false alarm, I didn't say anything. I had my General Education
thing about letting gravity do its thing; I could really feel It workIng.
Development (GED) class that night, and I didn't really feel like go-
Watching the baby move downward in my belly, I tried to breathe ef-
ing. Playing "truant officer," Donna, my mentor and friend, drove me
fectively and let the birthing happen as best it could.
to class. Mary, the teacher, said I was probably just having those fake,
The time came when I felt the need to push. I instinctively massaged
practice cramps (Braxton-Hicks). I went home early, unable to con-
centrate. my gates of life to help them open. Then I felt the baby's head crowning,
ready to come out. The contractions were so heavy, I just wanted them
The cramps were getting stronger, and I was feeling warm and ex-
to be over with. So I gathered all my might and, with a big push and
"Transition refers to the time of full dilation just before the urge to push is felt by the some loud primal grunts and yells, I finally oozed the baby's head out.
mother.
Then, with another push, out slid the rest of the body. What a relief!
 Even though I hadn't been able to say much other than, "Oh, my When I went to Pamela's birth, I was still quite full of the invigorat-
God," and "Oh, baby," I was about to utter, "Get the camera!" ing energy from my son's birth. Pamela had been working very hard at
When I look at Harley, my heart overflows with love. I'm taken by dilating for hours, and she was tired and afraid. I sensed that she was
his pure presence, his innocence, his so adorably cute noises and ex- frightened that she wasn't going to be able to pull off getting this baby
pressions, and his wonderful, sweet sleeping face. Even though having out. I wanted to connect deeply with her and share my recent experi-
him was painful, I wouldn't call it that; I'd call it INTENSELY NAT- ence to help her relax and open. Pamela was naked, propped up on pil-
URAL. lows on the bed, holding on to her knees. I took my clothes off (except
for my underpants and pad since I was still bleeding from Jon's birth)
and crawled up on the bed with her. I laid next to her-head to head,
Pamela's labor with her first baby seemed endless to me (as well as to her, breast to breast, womb to womb. I told her about my cave and ocean
I'm sure). After I had been with her for twenty-four hours or so, I got and the great rushing, swelling, and opening. I told her about surrender-
the idea of calling in OUT mutual friend, Mary, who had given birth a few ing over and over and letting go. We began experiencing her contrac-
days earlier. Most of [he women of our community were in awe of tions together. We held each other and rushed and soared together. My
Mary's birth-giving abilities, since she had a history of having her babies womb, though empty, was swelling and contracting too. I could feel
either without knowing that she was in labor or before we midwives blood rushing out with the contractions, but not too much-I knew it
could get there. was okay.
As Pamela relaxed and shared her wondrous birthing energy with
~ A Story of Sisterhood-February 13, 1972 me, she began to open and dilate smoothly. Before long, she gave birth
By Mary Shelton to a beautiful, serene little boy. What
a glorious experience!
I had given birth to my second son a week or two before I got the call to
see if I could assist Pamela with her rather difficult, long-lasting birth ~ Ramez's Birth Story-
process. My son's birth had been smooth, energizing, and delightful, so May 30, 2003
Ina May thought maybe I could help Pamela. By Njeri Emanuel
On the afternoon before my son, Jon, was born, I was reading Ram
Dass's book Be Here Now and feeling very centered and high with it. I When I was pregnant, I thought I
remember I fastened on a particular word and meaning: surrender. I be- would probably want an epidural,
gan having contractions and feeling big waves of energy moving. I visu- because I heard that labor was go-
alized my yoni as a big, open cave beneath the surface of the ocean, with ing to be excruciatingly painful.
huge, surging currents sweeping in and out. As the wave of water They talked a lot about pain in my
rushed into my cave, my contraction would grow and swell and fill, W;;r class. At -first, I thought {"
reach a full peak, then ebb smoothly back out. I surrendered over and might want a C-section, because
over to the great oceanic, engulfing waves. It was really delightful-very then I wouldn't have to push, and I
orgasmic and invigorating. Michael, my husband, was lying with me, had heard that pushing was the
and we experienced the wonderful rushing together for some time. hardest part. But when I thought
Finally, when it came time to call the midwives, the phone didn't about it more, I knew I didn't want
work, so Michael delivered Jon himself. It all went very smoothly, and a C-section, because it would take
Michael and I were clear, focused, and very high. a long tim~ to heal. (My mom used

~ 10 •• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

~/:~
~~tNJ ..
I
1...... .\.'
 to go to births with The Farm midwives during the five years we lived exercises recommended by mY obstetrician. I planned to have my baby
on The Farm, so I Knew a little about natural birth.) in Nashville, where I had beeilliving for more than a decade. I had an ul-
When my labor actually started, I got into the shower for a while, but trasound at four months but\V"asscared to look at the pictures because of
that didn't help my back labor as much as walking did. My midwife at all the talk about the risk of being over thirty-five.
the hospital kept asking if I wanted to lie back down in bed, but I said, Late in my pregnancy, concerned that my doctor was so busy that
"No, I like walking." My aunt Carolyn stayed with me and applied pres- my husband, Rick, and I didn't get much time with her, I decided to visit
Sl,1reto my back during contractions. the midwives at The Farm in March. I had lived at The Farm when I was
Pushing turned out to be the easiest part-a big relief. Someone held in my early twenties, having moved there with my father and siblings.
a mirror so I could see my progress while I was pushing. They told me The way the midwives checked me made me feel comfortable. Their
to expect burning, but there wasn't any. I didn't have an episiotomy or a clinic was not as modern as the doctor's office had been, but I sensed a
tear, and my mom says that my son, Ramez, was born with his eyes friendlier feeling about the place. After doing some research and asking
wide open. After he was born, I was more happy than tired. My total la- lots of questions, I decided that I wanted the midwives to attend my
bor took eight hours. Ramez is six weeks old now, and he's good at birth. I realized that if my labor lasted longer than twelve hours, my ob-
breastfeeding. He has gained five pounds since his birth. stetrician was more likely to get scared of my being almost thirty-nine
than the midwives were, and that increases the chance of a cesarean.
I was hoping that Ina Mar could attend my birth, but there was a
~ Brianna Joy's Birth-June 20, 1995
problem with this plan. She had to speak at a midwifery conference and
By Bernadette Bartelt
wouldn't be back until June 19. Carol checked me on June 12 and said
I was thirty-eight and pregnant with my first child. I was so excited. I I was dilated one centimeter. I went for a long walk the next day. My
had a fairly easy pregnancy, with no morning sickness or any other com- uterus contracted a lot throughout the next two days. On the night of
plication. I worked Ollt regularly at Jazzercise, doing the 'low-impact the 15th, I had a hard time getting any sleep because of contractions
that came every ten minutes. Carol came over to check me the next
morning and said that my cervix was thinning and was open to three
centimeters. She advised me to continue walking, so I did. I went to
bed that night but had another hard time sleeping, because of contrac-
tions. This time they were much more intense. Rick and I walked down
to the creek, where I sat with my feet in the water for a while. It felt so
cool and relaxing. That night I had part of a wine cooler to help me
sleep, but it didn't work. I paced the floor for part of the night. The
next time Carol checked me, though, she gave me good news. I was
open to five centimeters.
By the morning of June 18, Carol apparently thought that my labor
needed a boost, because she came over with some castor oil. I was close
to six centi~~ters open, but 1could eat, sleep (short naps between con-
tractions, that is), walk, and continue functioning. I went to a potluck
meal at the h~use of one of the midwives. That night Carol stayed with
me and helped me get through the contractions, since there was no way
I could sleep at all. I tried a lot of positions. I sat on a birthing chair for

r..M 12 • Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

 a while. I knelt beside the bed and hung over a pillow. I pulled on a rope was scrunched up so it didn't really look like a head to me. The most in-
that was hanging from the ceiling. It was hard to stay relaxed. I tried to tense part was when the baby's head came through. I felt a burning pain
focus on my breathing instead of the incredible amount of back labor I and was told not to hurry through this part. I pushed for about forty-
was having. At this stage, I could really understand why women might five minutes. It was easier after the baby's head was out. Actually, her
resort to the use of some pain relief. I was about seven centimeters open. hand had come out with her head. The rest of her came out real quick
I appreciated the help I was getting from Carol, and that kept me from and smooth.
worrying about future pain. I should also add that I know a lot of She cried right away, and they immediately put her on my stomach.
women who have had home births, and I thought that if they could do She was so beautiful. She weighed eight pounds thirteen ounces and was
it, so could 1. in perfect condition. I felt so much relief after the birthing was over.
On June 19, the midwives encouraged me to eat some breakfast. I Deborah made some breakfast for me. It felt so good to eat again.
had some toast and jelly. I was a little nervous, but somehow I knew Brianna Joy was the 1,937th baby born on The Farm. I was too excited
that I was in such good hands that everything was going to be all right. and having too much fun to go to sleep for a while.
I ate some soup around noon, and Carol came back with some energy-
replenishing drink to bring up my strength for the labor ahead of me. ~ Abigail Rosalee's Birth-April 21, 2000
Rick went upstairs and slept for a while, because he hadn't gotten By Katie Hurgeton
much sleep from trying to make me comfortable for the last few
nights. Ina May called me from the airport and said she would see me : Qf t,,,, \'\. My husband, George, was born in The Farm Birthing House almost
. a b out two h ours. Slle came ng h t over an d sal°d s1le would stay until° ...J fJ)J.'
In 0

twenty-three years before we found out that I was pregnant, and as an

my baby was born. outspoken advocate of natural and home birth, he was adamant that our
She encouraged me right away to try to get some rest. I slept a little, baby would be born in that same house. It didn't take too much arm-
and Rick rubbed my feet. I got nauseous and vomited, which made me twisting to convince me that this was the best method of birth for my
feel a little better. I began having stronger contractions down lower and baby as well as for myself.
some burning pain. The next time someone checked me, I was eight I expected my mother to be excited and pleased that we had decided
centimeters open. I tried many other positions and took a shower. Ina on a home birth and would be taken care of-by the most renowned mid-
May heard me making some sounds and helped me focus on slowing wives in the country. She was neither excited nor pleased. Instead, she
and deepening my breathing. That helped me relax, since I needed to and my father joined forces in telling me that I was endangering not
focus on something besides my back labor. When she checked me only myself but their unborn grandchild as well. Every time I spoke
again, I was at nine centimeters-big progress. Then I thought I needed with my mother, she had another birthing horror story that ended with
to go to the bathroom, but I was starting to push the baby down. I " ... and if she hadn't been at the hospital, she would have died." After
moved from the toilet to the birthing stool, and very soon the: head was she had exhausted those stories, she expounded on my choosing not to
crowning. I felt that I had to lean on someone, so Rick sat behind me. I have an epidural.
kept concentrating on breathing slowly in between urges to push. The "You're going to need one," she'd say and smile sweetly. George and
midwives were talking about how strong I was, because I wasn't com- I finally had to tell my parents that we knew what their opinion was,
plaining or fighting the feeling. Actually, I felt relieved to be pushing that we were going to do this our way, and that the topic was not open
and liked this part of the labor. I hadn't thought I would, but now I re- for further discussion. We also let them know that if they continued to
member this part as the most fun. It went the quickest, and I knew that attack or question our decision on this matter, we would simply have to
I would soon see my baby. stop coming over. They stopped bringing it up-with us. My mother
Someone held up a mirror, and I could see the baby's hair. The head proceeded to call my pediatrician, my physician, her best frien::l-who

'~ 14 .• Ina May's G u ide toe hiId b irth

 is a registered nurse at Vanderbilt Hospital in the labor and delivery "This morning."
ward-and my former obstetrician/gynecologist to check up on the "Did you take anything for it?"
midwives' credentials. She eventually came back and told me that all of "Yes, some Tylenol. But it didn't do anything."
these people had told her The Farm midwives were the most knowl- ''I'm going to take your blood pressure again. It's high."
edgeable and experienced midwives to be had anywhere, that they knew I didn't really think anything of it. The midwives left the room to
what they were doing, and that my mother should RELAX! talk. When they came back in, Ina May approached the table where I
This was still only the beginning. was still reclining and said, "We feel that you have enough of the signs
At my next prenatal visit Ina May and Pamela went down a check- that we would like for you to-" And here George and I were both
list, asking me if I had been exposed to any of these various diseases holding our breath. We were positive that Ina May was about to tell us
since I'd been pregnant. When they got to rubella, I stopped them. "The that they wanted me to go ahead and move into the Birthing House be-
first month I was pregnant, I got a rubella vaccination that was required cause they thought I'd be going into labor soon. Our joy at this thought
for me to be admitted to college." They froze and looked at me with half was short-lived. "-go to the hospital to have some tests run. You are
smiles of disbelief. Ina May said, "But they're supposed to make sure showing symptoms of pregnancy-induced hypertension." George and I
that you're not pregnant before they give you that shot." both deflated. The hospital? Pregnancy-induced hypertension? After
"Well, they asked me," I explained, "but I was on birth control and my they had explained to us what PIH was and some of the risks associated
period hadn't been late yet so they gave me the shot." Neither of them with it, we drove, heavyhearted, to meet them at the hospital. If I had
said anything. I started to get nervous. "Maybe I'm wrong. I'll call my PIH, the midwives would not handle my birth on The Farm and I
doctor tomorrow and find out." would have to have my baby in a hospital.
"Yes," Ina May said, still half disbelieving, "do that and then call us." At the hospital I was given a room and a gown and was hooked up to
I didn't ask any questions, but when George and I got home I looked heart and blood-pressure monitors. After about an hour of observation
up rubella in my copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting and and my doctor's comment that "Maybe your high blood pressure is due
cried for the rest of the night. The question in the book read something to your being nervous about having your baby on The Farm" (my
like, "Should I have an abortion if I've been exposed to rubella in my blood pressure was normal at the hospital), I was issued a clean bill of
first three months of pregnancy?" And the answer began, "Not neces- health. (Doctors call what I had "white coat. hypertension.")
sarily." The book also warned that rubella could cause congenital heart This little run-in, however, made my already nervous parents even
deformities. I was shocked and grief-stricken. When I called my doctor more so. My mother provided me with a portable blood-pressure cuff
the next day, he informed me that the shot had merely been a booster so that I could intermittently monitor my blood pressure at home. It
and he didn't think it would have any adverse effect on the baby. An was a couple of days after my visit to the hospital that I got an alarm-
ultrasound at twenty-two weeks indicated that mine was still a low-risk ingly high blood-pressure reading. My husband was on a conference
pregnancy and could be handled at the Birthing House. call at work, so I called my mother, who immediately suggested that I go
Our second trip to the hospital came quite unexpectedly. We were to the hospital. Unfortunately, the hospital that my primary-care physi-
visiting the midwives for what would be one of the last times before the cian worked for was at least two hours from our apartment. And be-
actual birth. They took my blood pressure, as usual, and began running cause my mother would've been enormously relieved if I had to have
down the list of standard questions. my baby at a hospital, I decided to call her friend, Anne, the Vanderbilt
"Any headaches?" labor and delivery nurse who had been incredibly supportive of my de-
"Yes." It was really the first bad headache I'd had since I'd become cision from the start and had an amazingly calming effect on my mom.
pregnant. On this point, however, she agreed with my mother. She thought that I
"When?" had enough ~ymptoms and found my blood-pressure readings way too

.~. 16 • I n a May' 5 G u ide toe h i Id b ir t h

 high. At my last hospital visit they had done no blood work. Anne was ~emember how long everything took to hap en and r~r;\ .j
not happy about that and was insistent that I have blood work done. In later. However, other than the time of my first contraction and the tim
order to do this, my primary-care physician would have to call in a re- that Abigail was born, I don't recall much of the time frame. When I
ferral. The doctor was none too happy to do that. After a rather frigid recorded the story in my journal later, I wrote that the contractions had
conversation in which she again stated that she thought my high blood lasted for about four hours and the pushing for about two. Ina May told
pressure was due to being nervous about having my baby on The Farm me that some women like the contractions better and some the pushing.
and added that she was going to suggest to Ina May that I have my baby I liked the pushing best. It seemed to me the most clearly effective means
in a hospital because of that, she called in the requested referral to the to the end.
doctor whom Anne had picked out for me. She promised to pick some- After approximately two hours of pushing and after having crowned
one who would not be induction-happy. for only one push, Abigail Rosalee was born. Her recorded birth time
My husband left work and we drove to Vanderbilt Hospital, where I was 10:22 A.M., exactly six hours after my first contraction. She was
was seen by a physician, admitted to the labor and delivery ward, and taken by Ina May and Pamela, who cleaned her up, weighed her in at
given a room. Again I was hooked up to the fetal heart monitor and eight pounds thirteen ounces, and dressed her in her snuggest layette.
blood-pressure machines. They took some blood and we waited for the We called my parents from the Birthing House and they answered
test results. their cell phone right as they were stepping out of the car at the funeral
We had both called our families and told them to be on alert in case home. They announced to all of the friends and relatives there that they
the doctor decided to induce. When the results came back, I was not were proud grandparents. (This was their first grandbaby.) They said
found to be hypertensive. We were sent home with the reassuring words that people kept coming up and shaking their hands, saying, "Congrat-
that "the midwives can, by all means, deliver this baby safely." My par- ulations!" and then immediately, "We're so sorry." My mother said that
ents didn't know whether to be relieved or more nervous still. for her it was a powerful reminder of the circle of life and death and that
My water broke at 4:00 A.M. on the morning of April 21, the day of God is holding us all in His hands. -
my grandfather's funeral. He had been my last living grandparent. We
called Ina May and asked if we should leave immediately. She advised us ~ Autumn Apple Windseed's Birth·-November 11, 1970
to try and relax for a couple of hours and then to make our way down. By Kim Trainor
My first contraction came at 4:22 A.M. We left about two hours later
on some advice from my mother, who'd told me, "Contractions are The birth of my first child in Manhattan was a standard-procedure hos-
not fun. But contractions in a moving vehicle are even less fun." We pital birth. I was first put in a room by myself, left to my own fears, and
grabbed our things from the apartment and took off. Other than the had my amniotic sac ruptured by an attendant. Then I was stuffed in a
fact that throwing up in a car is harder to manage than in a bathroom, ward of screaming and yelling women in labor. Most of them did not
I don't remember there being that much difference in the feel of my speak any English. The attending physicians were all Chinese, and they
contractions. spoke very little English or Spanish.
They proceeded to give me oxytocin to step up my labor. (Oxy-
We arrived at the Birthing House a little after seven. It was a cold day tocin-called Pitocin in the United States or Syntocin in the United
but the midwives had come by hours earlier and turned the heat on, so Kingdom-is a powerful synthetic hormone given to women in order
inside the house was cozy and inviting. Ina May and Pamela arrived to start or to stimulate labor.) I was told. to stay still. Because I sat up
shortly after and checked my dilation. "It's a good thing you decided to once, I was strapped on my back to the bed and scolded by the nurse on
go ahead and come," Ina May said. "You're already eight centimeters." call, who said, "Stop trying to squat!"
While I was in labor I tried to keep an.:xe on the clock so that ~d A fluorescent light was set up to glare on me so the attendants ulcl
r
t.\~ 18 • Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

1
 see when they came in. Because there was an air of assembly-line birth birth parents and extended families.
in that hospital, they left the light on and then left me alone to labor, We were a community of about four
strapped to the bed. After what seemed like days (it was fifteen hours), I hundred when I arrived in 1973. I
felt the baby's head between my legs. I called to the nurse that I thought was always employed in some form
I was ready to deliver. I was whisked off to the delivery room, had my of community service, and my five-
feet put in stirrups and stockings, and given a standard-procedure epi- year-old daughter was involved in
siotomy-twelve stitches. The baby literally shot out of me, screaming the community with the kid group
and red, and was taken away before I could see what gender baby I had. and got to take care of horses and
Then they knocked me out with ether to sew upthe unnecessary epi- play in the woods and be cared for
siotomy. When I awoke, I was told, finally, that I had a healthy girl, by other mothers when I was work-
weighing eight pounds nine ounces. ing. Along with about four other
I tried then to breastfeed her but was given only twenty minutes in mothers, I took care of a group of
which to do this. I was having difficulty, so I asked for some help. An kids when I wasn't working at
irate nurse reluctantly tried to show me how to breastfeed. She squeezed something else.
my breasts roughly and declared that I wasn't the kind of woman who When I was ready to give birth, I
could breastfeed. When they took my baby down the hall to the neona- was already familiar with the women
tal nursery after this unsuccessful attempt, I ran after my crying babe. I who would be my midwives. I felt
caught up with the nurse and grabbed my daughter in order to comfort whole and healthy on the com- Lily
her. At this point, I was hauled off by a couple of ward attendants. They pletely vegetarian diet of The Farm.
took me away from my baby, brought me to my room, and gave me a My daughter, my unborn baby, and I were indeed thriving.
powerful sedative that kept me awake but unable to move. This was an When my water broke, I called Leslie, one of the midwives on call, to
incredibly traumatic experience. I came away from birth bruised and let her know that I was about to start my labor. She hurried over to
battered, drugged and ripped off of my nurturing instincts and sense of check m . tio . It all felt relaxed and loving. My daughter wandered
confidence. After such a trauma, I knew I would never again give birth (l'M.}.C .in and out of the room for a while, but she had one of the women to
under such inhumane conditions. look after her' while I was in labor. The birth rushes were strong and
steady. I was surrounded by five wonderful women, who all had had
~ Lily Rose Heart's Birth-November 20,1976 their babies at home and knew what I was feeling. They encouraged,
By Kim Trainor rubbed, joked with me, and kissed me. I felt like I was a precious person
giving birth to a precious baby.
It was six years later before I was to give birth again. I knewI would def- When I was in transition, I gasped and thought I could not go on. At
initely have a home birth with a midwife, but I didn't know how to go this point, the woman behind me said, "What you need is this," and gave
about it. A friend of mine told me about The Farm and its offer to me a kiss. That made me laugh. Then I began pushing, which I thought
women who didn't want an abortion but who had no support. I knew I was a great sensation. It felt so good. I moaned very deeply, almost
wanted to have this child. The father wasn't there for us, so I felt I should sounding like a cow. It began to get dark and cold, so we lit the kerosene
at least have my baby in a place that encouraged natural birth. lamp and stoked the fire in the woodstove.
I arrived four months before the birth of the baby and lived in an old The ecstasy of birth was so wonderful. My daughter slipped out, a
Army tent with a wood frame, a sort of combination house and tent. I long and graceful baby-all nine pounds ten ounces of her, without a
was integrated into living in the Tennessee woods, with many other tear. We all laughed. Such a feeling of elati.on. The midwives put Lily on

~.t 20 ., Ina May's Gwide to Childbirth

 my chest, and we all admired and adored her. I thanked the midwives seen. It was about four feet long and had a knot in it. Otis was so happy
and they thanked me for being so easy to help in birth. to be out. The midwives placed him on my chest immediately. He was
I bonded naturally with my baby. She nursed easily and happily, and born hungry and weighed ten pounds two ounces.
I felt strong and powerful. I thought, if I could do this, I could do any- Not long after the birth, I decided to walk downstairs. It was very
thing. This community of hardworking and honest people showed me hot, and the sky was dark purple, like my son had been at first. I re-
how to be who I really was. I decided to stay and live with them and member the way the wind blew up the stairwell as I walked down with
have them be my tribe and family. my beautiful son. Then the thunder and lightning began, and it started
to pour rain, making everything cool and comfortable. I was grateful to
0,;4 Otis Francisco's Birth-July 2,1980 have my baby among friends and family. He was welcomed and adored
By Kim Trainor by the rest of the household.

The summer Mount St. Helens blew up was one of the hottest I can re-
0,;4 The Joy of Delivering Grace-April 30, 2000
member, and I was beginning to feel my baby wanting to be born. I
By Kathryn B. Van de Castle
started to rush steadily at five in the morning. The sun was just coming
up, but the heat was already strong. I had slept downstairs the night be- You might think that I would be an unlikely candidate for a birth at a ru-
fore because it was so hot and I was restless. I got up and started to pre- ral Tennessee birth center. I am a typical upper middle-class American fe-
pare for a long, hot birthing. male who doesn't like to experience pain. I grew up knowing that my
A few hours later the rest of the household was up, and I told every- mother had an extremely difficult time birthing me. I get light-headed
one that I was going to have a baby soon. The ~s<:,ame b .....!2. when I hear words like phlebotomy. Now 'ldd to this that I marri~:d Keith
check on me and found that my cervix was about five centimeters di- (who is a doctor) at the age of thirty-seven after an eight-month-Iong
lated. My -;'ater did not break as it had in my other two labors. The mid- courtship, and we conceived our child two weeks [ateI'. Obviously, we
wives suggested that I take a hike in the woods with my husband, so were still getting to know each other throughout our pregnancy. Keith
that gravity would help to open me up more. We walked for about an
hour or two, and I felt in a timeless sort of space in which every sound,
scent, and color was illuminated and heightened. I could f~:elmy baby
move me open, and when the intensity of the rushes incn;ased, I just
leaned on a tree. The rushes grew more intense and came more often. I
decided to head back up the hill to my bed.
When we got back, I was almost eight centimeters dilated, but the
water bag was still· intact. I paced back and forth beside my bed for a
while. When my water bag broke near full dilation, incredible amounts
of water poured out of me. That's when I felt the baby's head press di-
rectly against my cervix, and I immediately felt the urge to push.
It felt so good to push. The baby's head soon crowned and was born.
Ina May told me to stop pushing and she swiftly removed the umbilical
cord, which was around the baby's neck three times-bloop! bloop! o'NS
bloop! Out came the rest of him, all dark purple, almost black-looking. Grace, her baby sister Faith, Kflthryn and Keith,
It was amazing. Otis had the longest umbilical cord the midwives had her parents

I~ 22 • '00 May', Go'de to Childbi"h

l
 was an incredibly wonderful partner throughout a pregnancy that was and deeply, I kept focusing on the drawing of a purple flower on the wall
sometimes difficult because of prolonged nausea and a death in the family. above his head. I began repeating to myself, "I am a flower opening up."
.He shopped for foods that appealed to me when I was so nauseous that I With all this help, I was able to remain strong. I did not let the contrac-
could not even enter a grocery store, helped me with diet when my Vir- tions overwhelm me.
ginia doctor decided I had gestational diabetes, and kept my spirits up. 1na May, Pamela, and Pamela's daughter Stephanie helped reassure
My sister, who is an ob/gyn nurse, gave me some good advice. "Don't me throughout labor that I was okay and let me know what to expect
read a bunch of books," she said. "And don't write a birth plan. The more next. I became aware that I had a choice to think about negative things
you write down exactly how you want it to be, the less likely it is that you or the joys of my life. I learned to discipline myself to come back to the
will get it that way." She explained that too much reading could interfere present and breathe with Keith and affirm that I was okay and listen to
with the ability to flow with what your body is telling you. I was con- the others saying that I was doing a great job.
vinced and never picked up a birth-preparation book. The cycle of my labor followed this pattern: Keith would notice a
As for choice of birthplace, I knew instinctively that the bustle and contraction coming and he would start slow, deep breathing, and I
routines of a hospital would be hard for me to deal with. I could see my- would keep that pace with him. I would peer at the flower above his
self shutting down with the constant comings and goings of the hospital head and either go to positive or negative thoughts and listen to people
staff. And although Keith is a doctor, he has an unusual familiarity with~\.-~\. 'J saying I was all right or would repeat that to myself. Between c~ntrac-
hom,e birth, since ~~~lteen yea,rs o~ The Farm before oing to ~,"f"'.<:L- tions, I would rest and relax. Then the cycle would begin again.
medlCal school. He trusted The Farm mIdWIves, and I trusted him. I noticed that when I tried to look at things, it put me more in a
We traveled to The Farm a month before I gave birth. That gave me thinking mode, but when I was listening, I was more in a feeling/
the opportunity to relax, walk for hours each day, and eat well. As we instinctive mode. For instance, hearing that I was all right really made
walked I would talk to Grace and ask her to help me in the birth process me feel better. If it had been written down and I was reading it, it would
and promised her I would deliver her safely. She obliged me by posi- not have made me feel as good .. ~. Feeling wasn't.
tioning herself head-down three months before birth. My contractions When I was in feeling mode, things didn't seem so overwhelming,
started about four-thirty in the morning eleven days before my esti- When I was fully dilated, Keith helped me walk to the bed. These
mated due date. I decided not to wake Keith, as they were still ten min- were the longest ten steps of my life. I was dearly hoping I would not
utes apart. He woke later, and we watched a movie and took a walk have a coiltraction in the middle of the h;ll. I sat on the bed for a few
before going to our midwife's house for lunch. Once there, I took one moments but felt uncomfortable there and didn't know how to relieve
bite of potpie and threw up. My contractions got stronger. that feeling. Keith reminded me that I had been interested in trying a
Ina May tried to help me relax by massaging my thighs, but I needed birth stool. The midwives brought it over; I sat on it and began pushing
something more. Keith reminded me that I had planned to relax in a tub. with all my might.
When I stepped into the warm tub I was dilated one centimeter, and Pushing was absolutely exhilarating. I loved it. I began making in-
when I emerged seven hours later I was fully dilated. Throughout that credibly deep, loud cries that helped me move Grace down. I was ec-
time, I asked for reassurance. many times, because I felt scared to feel so static as I pushed Grace out.
much power in my body. Through the process of natural childbirth, I gained a lot of confi-
Keith told me a thousand times that I was okay and helped me dence in myself. I left my comfort zone and the culture I had grown up
breathe so that the contractions were bearable. My friend Cynthia had with. I learned that I can work through scary and painful situations and
told me a few days earlier that she felt labor was like surfing. I kept be strong and present when I need to be. My fear of not knowing how
thinking of that during the hours in the bathtub. Keith helped me over to be a good mother has disappeared as my confidence in my intuition
and over again to get on top of the wave. As he helped me breathe slowly of how to love Grace has increased. I have felt incredible energy and life

'~ 24 .• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

force through my body, and I have rea.lly been reborn a happier, health- the date my obstetrician had estimated that I would be due? This got us
ier, and more confident person. I have learned I can choose to focus on pretty upset, and after calling...<l.,l:esarean revention hotline, we decided
the darker side or the lighter side of all that is around me. I choose the to break ties completely. We had my medical records transferred to The
lighter side and have the discipline to keep it up. Farm Midwifery Center and never looked back.
We left Alabama for The Farm the night I began having labor. It was
pouring rain when we arrived, and it rained all night. Joanne and Debo-
tJ.;;4 Shannah's Birth-May 22, 1985
rah, my midwives, told me to try and get some sleep to have strength for
By Mary Ann Curran
the birth. I tried to sleep, but the contractions made it very difficult.
The major catalyst in deciding to leave our obstetricians was our Bradley They were two minutes apart, and I was trying too hard to relax, mak-
natural-childbirth classes,::' which we began taking during the last half of ing them worse. I finally realized what I was doing and that I could
my pregnancy. It was through these classes that we learned of sOJpe sleep between contractions, although at first sleep in two-minute inter-
~rous I2ra££~s tha~~_~tan_cG~a~~-~9s..ealiris·-;tt1~~-~·~p~t~f"~~ere vals didn't seem very restful. I did the breathing and relaxation exercises
going to use: routine electronic fetal monitoring and intravenous lines we learned from our Bradley lessons. They helped, but there was still
delivering Pitocin to intensify labor. The Bradley classes really opened pain, which I wasn't expecting. I thought that doing the exercises and
our eyes and also made me realize how many important things I was breathing would eliminate or keep pain to a minimum, but it doesn't
compromising by doing things the way the doctors wanted. My original work that way for everyone.
hopes for a birth with midwives in a regular bed began to sound better Through my off-and-on semiconsciousness, I watched morning
and better. Then we tried to change our hospital-admittance consent come, and Jim and my midwives woke and were getting ready. Joanne
form, on the advice of our Bradley instructor. Little did we know what a had checked my dilation a couple of times during the night and checked ~O- '7ltaJ,.., ~
fracas that would cause! me again first thing in the morning. I was a little discouraged, having rpaJ'...o' \
. . VoIr J~ I

It wasn't until the next day that I was ready to break ties with the staye d at f our centimeters smce 10:00 P.M. At 10:00 A.M., Joanne
medical world. I had a visit with one of my obstetricians, who had checked me and said I was five centimeters. Not long after that, I was
heard from the hospital about our trying to change the consent form. I nearly fully dilated, and.1~:.~roke the water bag.
think it's safe to say he was outraged. His internal exam was noticeably Very soon after that, my contractions became much stronger. The
rougher, and he spent forty-five minutes afterward lecturing me about stage I was entering is called transition, and'if you've ever been through
the doctor-patient trust relationship. On the verge of tears, I tried re- it, you'll understand why. I felt as if I was in another world, totally out
peatedly to explain our feelings to him, but I don't think I got through. of touch with the regular everyday world. The world I wasin was called
By the time I got home, I knew that if I were to go into labor that night, Labor, and my only purpose in life was Birth. It was a time of intense
to The Farm I would go! concentration, and I felt pretty shaky. Jim and my midwives were all
In spite of all this, my husband, Jim, and I thought it safe to retain there to support me, yet I was afraid to look into their eyes. I was afraid
our obstetricians "in case of emergency." But at the next and last visit to they would have worried looks! Finally, I looked into Jim's eyes and
the obstetrician, the doctor started talking about a cesarean section be- saw that he didn't look at all worried, just very calm. I didn't have the
cause I was" overdue." How could I be overdue when the visit fell on concentration to turn around and look at my midwives-the contrac-
tions were too frequent and intense-but I could feel Joanne squeezing
':-The Bradley method of natural childbirth stems from the work of Dr. Robert Bradley,
my foot at the peak of each contraction, letting me know that she was
an early follower of Grandy DickcRead's method. Bradley, influenced by his wife's
reading of Dick-Read's book Childbirth Without Fear while he was in his obstetrical going through it with me. Meanwhile, my uterus and baby were work-
training, wrote Husband-Coached Childbirth. His work is carried on hy Marjie and Jay ing intently, bringing on the birth. My sign that a contraction was be-
Hathaway, who founded the American Academy of Husband-Coached Childbirth
(P.O. Box 5224, Sherman Oaks, CA 91413). ginning was feeling Shannah's feet pushing up toward the top of my
 uterus, her head turning back and forth at the cervix, the uterine muscles I attended Sara Jean's birth in 1971. A Farm resident during her early
closing step by step-like a hand closing into a fist-and climaxing at years, Sara Jean grew up in a culture in which women expected to have
the clench point. Then, in the same graduated process, the contraction un medicated births in their own homes, attended by midwives they
would undo itself. knew well. When she became pregnant for the first time, she lived in an-
Finally, Joanne checked my dilation and, to my great relief, I was other state, where her insurance coverage would not allow for a home
fully dilated. "You came through transition beautifully," Joanne told me. birth. She chose midwifery care in a hospital.
"Oh, was that transition?" I asked. That's how much in another world
I was. ~ Sara Jean's Story-December 5, 1999
So there I was, half-reclining on Jim's chest and really geared up to By SaraJean Schweitzer
push away. This is the good part, I was thinking. And it surely was.
Pushing was HARD work. Don't get me wrong: It was so rewarding I was due in three days and felt impatient. Gerrie Sue, a former Farm
and fulfilling, I can't explain it. It seemed like slow going until the head midwife and close family friend, agreed to be at my birth to support me.
crowned, and I had to concentrate so hard, I couldn't even look up at She told me that it was important to try to have this baby a little early
the mirror Deborah was holding. After the crowning, a little more rather than late. Because I'm small, she didn't want me to have a big
s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g and pushing, Shannah's head was born. baby. I tried all sorts of methods to help trigger labor. Every day I hiked
After Shannah's head was born, the rest of her came out in one push, in the hills, asked my husband, Richard, to make love to me and nurse
and there she was in all her glory! Of course, we got to hold her imme- my nipples. I even tried having the
diately. pressure points on my feet mas-
I felt accomplishment, wonder, thrill, and relief. saged. I didn't want fear to prevent
the baby from coming, so I tried not
to dwell on thinking about the birth
experience. I thought, If I have to
Barbara's Reflections jump off a cliff, why think about
By Barbara Wolcott how I'm going to do it? Just jump.
Staying active was important to
i me and seemed to help. The day be-
;1 I guess the most important thing I figured out was that your!! fore Luca was born, I went on a hike
!i attitude and how you approach your birth is of the upmost :) in the hills with friends. I walked
11 importance. In other words, it is important to face each birth ,j ahead of them all the way, thinking
;; like a bull, with full force, no fear or hesitation, with the atti- Ii that if I moved strong and fast, the
U tude that you can do this and you aren't going to hold back. q baby might be shaken up from his
This is your opportunity to remember your power as a 'I serene little world and come out.
woman, inhibitions not allowed. Those contractions are I! When we got home, my sister
power surges, and each one gets that baby closer to birth. l~ was upstairs in my mother's apart-
Your baby feels your strength and also your fears. The mid- !! ment, crying over a personal issue. I Luca with angel wings
wives helped me so much with this and kept reminding me of II went to console her, but it made me
my strength. 11 feel like I was putting my baby and everything I needed to do to get him
":~;;,:;:c::c,-::'~:; "':•. :-~d out on hold. I knew my baby could arrive any hour, but I really needed

,~~.t 28 " In a May's G u ide to Childbirth

 to talk to my sister. I felt her pain as if it were my own. Throughout my two hours, while Richard massaged my back; it felt so nice. When I got
pregnancy, alLthe emotions/vibes that I was exposed to felt as if they out, I vomited what seemed like gallons of juice. (My midwife had rec-
were being fed directly into my baby. That night I stayed up until about ommended that I stock up on juices for energy during labor. I didn't feel
2:00 A.M. talking with my sister, the whole time feeling anxious about like eating at all, so with slightly lowered blood sugar, I really needed
the baby. the nourishment.) I was told that vomiting was a sign that the baby was
When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed I was having period cramps. By about to come and that pushing would begin soon.
morning the cramps woke me up. I called my mother, who told me to I lay down on the delivery bed so my midwife could check my dila-
call Gerrie Sue. I didn't want to wake her up, so I waited about forty- tion. Six centimeters, more than half open. Later on she broke my bag
five minutes while Richard and I monitored my cramps. I told her that of water, I contracted some more, and was told I could start pushing.
the cramps persisted and were getting stronger and closer together. She Still later I had a real strong urge to push, which felt like I was going to
thought I was in labor and that I needed to call my midwife. My mid- have the biggest bowel movement ever. In retrospect, I think I should
wife told me to go about my day as usual and to maybe take a walk. She have started to push at that point, rather than earlier, to avoid wasting
said that I might have the baby in about a day to a week. When I told my limited energy. I pushed again and again for maybe forty-five min-
Gerrie Sue what my midwife had told me, she said, "I really think utes without progress. I moved into several different positions, includ-
you're going to have the baby today, so I'll be there soon." She also ing squatting on the floor, dangling from a bar above the delivery bed,
pointed out that Farm women seem to go into labor quickly. While I and standing up while leaning against the bed, and still no progress. I
was in the shower, my mucus plug came out of my vagina. Richard was started to get really tired, thirsty, and hot, so I was given ice to chew on
on the computer, keeping track of my contractions as I moaned them and a cold cloth for my head. I thought things could drag on and on
out to him. this way.
My mother came down to my apartment with eager friends and I pushed for another twenty minutes or so. The nurse put a fetal
family. As soon as she looked me in the eyes, she knew I was seriously monitor on me. We heard the baby's heart rate drop slower and slower
in labor because of my tears and the intense look on my face. As soon every time I pushed. My heart sank. My midwife told me that his cord
as Gerrie Sue arrived, she gave me a pelvic exam. She found me dilated was probably being compressed by his head squeezing through my
enough to say, "We have to get her to the hospital now and call her small frame. I knew this was serious and tbat if I panicked I would waste
midwife." precious energy, making the situation worse". I realized then that I alone
Everyone scurried around, gathering everything and loading up cars. couldn't push my baby out and that my energy was fading. All I focused
Richard and I rode in Gerrie Sue's car, with me sitting on a plastic bag in on was strength and the life of my baby. I asked if there was a way I
case my water broke. Th(~ ride to the hospital was an exciting one. My could get an energy boost, and the nurse put in the sugar-water LV. My
heart was beating fast and I was thinking about how we were about to midwife quickly called in a doctor. The b"by's head was showing, but I
have a totally new life with our little baby in just a few ho~rs. I was hav- didn't have the oomph to push him out on my own.
ing very strong contractions, which were intensified by the car ride. The doctor came in and immediately put me on oxygen. He de-
We arrived at the hospital around 12:00 P.M. I signed some papers and manded action from just about everyone in the room and told me to do
went straight to a birthing room. An LV. was hooked up to my wrist and absolutely everything as he instructed. Of course, I more than agreed.
I was given a hospital gown to wear. More information was collected. I The energy felt intense and rushed. My mother was crying in the corner,
felt that I could barely deal with more questions and red tape. and the room quickly filled up with additional hospital staff and mterns.
Gerrie Sue told me to make deep low-pitched moans with my con- Richard sat behind me for support, as I le'lned back with my legs apart
tractions to stay calm. This really helped. She also suggested that I take and pulled my knees up toward me. There was a very hot bright light
a warm shower to relax my muscles. I stayed in the shower for at least shining on me. The doctor tried pulling the baby out with a vacuum
 extractor, which looked like a toilet plunger. I gave my strongest push- baby and nurse him. He latched right on to my breast. It felt like such a
he pulled with all his might and still the baby didn't budge. We tried natural way to love and nurture him.
again and again-still nothing. His heart rate was frighteningly slow Later, I tried to urinate and couldn't. My insides were in shock, and I
now-it seemed as if there was only a slow beat every few seconds. was bloated from juice, so I had to be catheterized. I was given some
There was a feeling of panic in the room. I felt as if I had to reverse that strong painkillers and then wheeled to our recovery room, where we
feeling for my baby's life, so I concentrated on staying calm, positive, could sleep with our baby. I thought I could finally spend some time
and focused. I blocked out everyone in the room and only heard what with our baby now, but his body temperature was slightly low, so he
the doctor was telling me to do. was taken away and put under a heat lamp for about an hour. Richard
He decided that an episiotomy would speed the birth. I was given a followed to make sure he was in good hands, which he was. When they
local anesthetic and sliced so fast that I didn't even know it had hap- returned him to me, I nursed him again and told him how proud I was
pened! The doctor told me to give a final extremely hard push. I pushed of his bravery and strength during the birth. I let him know that I was so
again so hard that I thought my eyes were going to pop out and my face happy he had made it through our journey.
explode. Aaghh, the baby finally came out! That night in our room I realized what an amazing gift our new baby
It was 5:14 P.M. The doctor practically threw the baby to the nurse, was, but I also felt sadness and a sense of loss within myself. I knew this
saying, "He's your baby," and then quickly continued to work with me, was the beginning of his new life and the end of my selfishness and the
telling me to push again for the placenta. The birth took about eight part of me that was holding on to still being a child myself. My life was
hours from my first contraction. The baby's vital signs were checked no longer my own. This was still the happiest and most spiritual day of
and all good. He weighed eight pounds two ounces! No wonder it was my life. I felt so grateful to have Luca.
such a struggle to have him. I bathed and had my hair brushed. I wished
that I could have seen my baby the way he looked immediately after
birth-before he was cleaned up. In my early days as a midwife, I felt free to change some of the language
After the placenta came out, the doctor told me not to touch any- surrounding birth as a way to help women cope with labor pain. I have a
thing near or below my belly while he carefully stitched many deep lay- master's degree.in English and was aware of how language can condition
ers of muscle and skin. That took about an hour. I looked over at my our response to a physical/emotionallspirituc:l process such as labor. I be-
baby on the table nearby, but I could barely see him because my eyes
were so swollen and blurred from pushing. I asked Richard to go look at
-- ~-~
gan to use the word rush instead oL contraction. Why use a word that
suggests tightness and hard muscles when successful labor will require
him and tell me what he looked like. He was absolutely perfect, healthy expansion of the cervix, I thought. Many of the women at The Farm
and beautiful even through blurred eyes. adopted this change in language. Rasey's mother, Janet, gave birth to her
He had platinum blond curls all over his head, with a pinkish-orange on The Farm in 1974, and I was her midwife.
color to his skin. I immediately fell in love with him. He seemed so fa-
miliar. I couldn't wait to touch him, but I felt like I had been hit by a 0;;4' Rosey's.Story-September 20, 1994
truck on a foggy night and had just barely made it alive. I was also by Rosemary Larson
bound to the table as I was being stitched. My mother started escorting~~
a few people from the crowd in the waiting room to see our baby. I I had an arrangement to have my baby with midwives on the California
didn't want everyone to come in, because I was overwhelmed, my legs coast, which is about an hour and a half away from my home. There
were still spread, and I was sure I looked like hell. I was anxious for the were not many choices of midwives in my area. There was one
medical procedures to end so I could hang out with my new family, but nurse-midwife, but she attended hospital-only births. There were ru-
they dragged on. After I was stitched up, I got to hold our sweet little mors of home-birth midwives, but they couldn't take insurance and
 they were hard to locate. I was intent on having my baby at home, if at wonderfully between them. My contractions were getting ser ngcr and
all possible. I had read and heard too many horror stories of hospital stronger, but I was handling them fine by myself and was able t [re-
births, and I felt much more confident having my baby at home. I was pare for the trip. I had a mug of raspberry-leaf tea and I ate a banana and
a home-birth baby myself, born at The Farm, and my two sisters were my prenatal vitamins. I wasn't hungry. I just thought it would be g d
also born at home. to fortify my body for the work ahead. The drive over was better than
My pregnancy was normal, although there were some worries usual, even though the contractions were steadily becoming more in-
about my blood pressure rising too high. I wasn't worried, and I knew tense. I had a towel between my legs, because amniotic fluid would gush
the baby was coming sooner than my due date. I had a couple of false every little while. As my husband and mother continued ordinary con-
starts, which left me about three centimeters dilated and fully prepared versation in the front of the car, I was feeling slightly neglected in the
for my trip to the coast. (This happened just before I reached thirty-six back as I concentrated on my contractions. My mom, perhaps sensing
weeks' gestation.) I was slightly worried about the drive over. The road my isolation, asked if I was even having any contractions because she
is long and winding. The plan was to have the baby in a cabin that was thought I wasn't acting like I was in labor. I assured her, emphatically,
available to women who lived too far away to have the midwives come that I was. After that I decided not to feel sorry for myself or weird at
to their home. all, because this was going to be a fun experience if I let it be.
At thirty-seven weeks, on the night of the full moon, I woke at about We had left around 8:00 A.M., and it was close to 10:00 as we neared
3:00 A.M. and had to pee. I remember being disappointed that I hadn't felt the cabin. My contractions really picked up as we drove the last five
any contractions. I had been sure this would be the night. As I was pee- miles parallel to the ocean. They were coming every two or thrf;e min-
ing, I heard a popping sound and felt a big gush of warm liquid. I stood utes apart. I let everyone know this and they could tell by my behavior
up to see if it was my waters breaking or if it was my imagination. Sure that I was serious. As soon as we got to the cabin, my mother raced to
enough, water dripped down my legs. The moon was still high and bright the phone and told the midwives she thought I was close. Suzan was
in the sky. I ran into my bedroom and excitedly told my husband, Aaron, surprised to hear all this because she hadn't heard anything since
that my waters had broken. He sleepily said, "They did?" I was laughing 3:00 A.M. when my waters had broken. She arrived within ten minutes.
and getting a towel for myself. We called Suzan, one of my midwives. She When she checked me, I was seven centimeters open. Everyone was
told me to go back to bed until my contractions started and became surprised except me. I still felt relaxed and clear. The contractions were
strong and regular. Go back to bed? I thought, how crazy! But I did lie strong enough that I began using Aaron to help me through them. I
down and soon after I felt my first contraction. It felt much more intense hung on his shoulders and leaned forward into his neck. I bounced
than the previous Braxton-Hicks contractions I'd felt before. Amazingly, lightly during the peaks and tried to keep my mouth relaxed. Suzan
I was able to sleep for a while. When I wasn't sleeping I was very relaxed. commented that I wasn't acting like I was seven centimeters dilated.
Looking back now, I realize that I didn't think about anything "extra" She said that she was always really grumpy at this point. I didn't see
the whole time. I didn't think about how the birth would be, or about the any reason to be grumpy. In fact, the thought seemed ridiculous. Being
fact that I wo.uld soon have a newborn in my arms. I knew it, but I didn't grumpy would have ruined it.
think abou(it then. Suzan was busy preparing things and calling for the other midwife
"
I called my mother, Janet, around 6:30 A.M. to tell her I was in labor and her assistant, Dawn. As a midwife, Suzan was very steady and de-
and/6 arrange for her to pick us up. She really wanted to.be there for the pendable. She would check the baby's heartbeat and then back off and
. ~it'th, her car was smoother and bigger, and she'd offered to drive to the allow me to rely on my instincts to handle the labor. I found that the toi-
o'~oast. I thought it would make her day, her life, if I invited her to be let was the most comfortable place to be. I was peeing a lot anyway. Af-
there. I was a little worried about my husband being totally comfortable ter a while, I felt like going back into the bedroom. I had been feeling
sharing the birth with my mother, but as it turned out, things went really hot, then really cold, and nauseous. (All signs of transition, but at
the time I didn't even notice.) I was completely inside my body. I didn't believe that it was far enough down to see since I hadn't pushed very
feel like a "me" at all. I wasn't looking around or checking out what much. A hand mirror magically appeared, and I saw the purple-gray,
other people were doing. I knew peripherally that my mom was taking squashed little quarter of my baby's head. The mirror helped me focus.
pictures and Suzan was sterilizing her equipment. I moved to the bed. I would look down as I squatted and pushed and would be so involved
All of a sudden, I knew I was going to throw up. I quietly told Aaron, that the pain seemed far away. The midwives asked Aaron if he wanted
and they quickly got a pan. Just as Dawn, the assistant, arrived I threw to feel the head and when he did, he was totally amazed.
up all over the bed. I laughed and told her that she had quite the sense of As the delivery approached, Dawn began to take charge, handling
timing. There I was sitting on the bed with a big mess. I felt much better the washcloths and warm oil. She coached me through some particu-
larly strong pushes and I yelled that it hurt. It was said in a factual way,
after throwing up.
The contractions got to a point of leaving me with no relief. The not as a complaint. I just needed a release. Then I mentioned that it hurt
teeny space between each one, if there was any, was still so intensely in- right above and below my birth canal. They checked it out and saw that
tense that the thought occurred to me that I should try to push. I told I was tearing in both places. But what was there to do but go on? I knew
Suzan, and she told Dawn to check me to see if I was fully dilated. I had no choice but to keep pushing. It was hard. As the head was
Dawn reported that all she could feel was the baby's head-the cervix crowning, I was pretty tired. It was just so intense. I gave a final push,
was all the way back. From talking to other women, I had the idea that and the baby's head was out, all purple and squashed and facing my
the pushing part would be fairly easy and a relief from the intensity of right thigh. Seeing his head brought a smile to my face. I really couldn't
the contractions. In fact, it was extremely hard work and the most in- push anymore, so Dawn helped pull the baby out and placed him on my
tense part of the whole experience. I never physically felt like pushing, I tummy. All the pain and force that I had been feeling a moment before
just continued to have the thought in my mind that I should do it. was completely gone. I knew my baby as soon as I saw him. I checked
Everything around me was extraordinarily clear and sparkling. It to see if he was a boy or a girl; he was definitely a boy! He was crying
was around noon, and the sun was beaming in through the window pretty loudly, saying, "I'm here!" I told him he could stop crying by
above the bed, all golden and holy. Everyone's energy in the room saying; "Hi, Baby," and talking to him. He was all pink and fat and
clicked and it felt very mellow. Everyone had a job to do. My mother healthy. He immediately made eye contact with me and consoled him-
was taking photographs and Dawn was warming up olive oil and hot self by sticking his fist in his mouth. I tried to pull him up to my breast,
washcloths. The warm washc.loths proved to be one of the nicest things but Dawn stopped me because the umbilical cord wasn't long enough
I've felt. They actually managed to feel good, even though I was at a for him to reach that far. My placenta came quickly after the cord
point where it felt like nothing could bring me relief. Suzan continued stopped pulsing, and Aaron cut it. I pulled the baby to my breast and he
to monitor the baby's heartbeat, which was fine. She also provided me began nursing like he'd already done it before. Aaron curled up next to
with instructions on how to push and when, which were so in tune with me and met our new child. I had torn enough for a few stitches but my
what I was doing that I almost thought she could feel it. She was my attention was fully on our baby and I couldn't have cared less. It was a
rock, my stability, grounding me when my body was overwhelmed with little after one o'clock in the afternoon.
contractions. Aaron was on the other side of Suzan, on the bed, com- After aboUt an hour of hanging out with the baby we weighed him
forting me, massaging me and supporting me when I squatted. That was and discovered he was eight pounds exactly. A little while later, we had
funny because Suzan and Dawn suggested that I try squatting and I the most delicious meal of my life. All that work had left me with quite
said, "No, that sounds too intense," and they said in unison with my the appetite~ I followed the meal with an unsteady shower, assisted by
mom, "That's what you want! You have to go into it." So I did. I squat- Aaron, as my mother held the baby. The midwives were pleased with
ted and pushed and then would lie back down when the contraction was how well things had gone and joked about how they didn't even have to
over. They asked if I wanted to see the baby's head, and I couldn't stay out late.
 but my labor didn't get any stronger. Pamela decided then to leave Dan
0,;4' The Most Painful, Most Wonderful,
Most Beautiful and me alone, saying that we should call if there was any change. Hours
Experience: A Birth on The Farm-May 17, 1997 and hours later, Pamela returned and checked me. I was only at three
By Tracey Sobel centimeters!
On Thursday I was in the garden all day and running around doing By this time I was really tired, so we lay down to take a nap. I would
things. I didn't have the huge burst of energy that everyone talks about, fall asleep for a couple of minutes, then wake up with every contraction.
but I had a little burst of energy. I had a feeling that the baby was com- It hurt more when I was lying down than when I was sitting or stand-
ing the next day. (He didn't. I was in labor for forty-one hours.) ing. All I wanted was to sleep, and I kept waking up in pain.
I didn't get to sleep Thursday night until about 2:00 A.M. Then I Most of Friday passed. When the midwives came by again, I was
woke at 4:00 A.M. and went to the bathroom. There was blood. I didn't still at three centimeters. It felt like the contractions were getting
feel any contractions, although that might have been why I woke up. I stronger, even though not much was happening. I got into the tub
I woke Dan and told him we might be about to have this baby, but I de- about 9:00 P.M. The bath eased the contractions a lot. When I came out
cided not to call the midwives and to lie in bed a little longer. I wanted to an hour later, Dan's mom, Mary, was here. The plan was for her to
wait for at least an hour, because during the last two weeks I had had a catch the baby.
lot of "practice" labor that lasted for about an hour and then stopped. "Lie down and rest," the midwives said. I did fall asleep between con-
This time, the contractions kept coming every four to eight minutes and tractions for a couple of minutes, but each time another came, I woke up.
didn't stop. I remember asking whoever was with me, "How long was I sleeping?" It
About 6:00 A.M., I called Pamela. She said she would come right over. would feel like an hour, but they would say, "Four minutes."
When she checked me, I was 2.5 centimeters dilated. "Yes, you're in la- Ina May came over to check me a~ound 5:00 A.M. This time I had
bor," she said. She thought from the way my contractions were coming made some progress: 4.5 centimeters. The contractions kept getting
on that my labor was going to go quickly. She stayed for a while, set up stronger. At 6:00 A.M., I was at 6.5 centimeters. Ina May thought that
her supplies and equipment, cleaned up a little, and made some food, things might move more quickly, so she called Dan's mother and
Pamela. Everyone rushed over, and I spent the whole day in the bath.
Ina May and Pamela took turns massaging me, which helped. Someone
was always sitting with me, which was a go~d thing, because I slept be-
tween contractions while I was in the bathtub. I even ate in the water,
because it felt so good to be there.
"Imagine a flower blooming," said Pamela, while I was in the bath.
"As the flower blooms, the baby is being pushed out." I was reminded
of the story of Thumbelina. That image clicked strongly for me and
really helped. From then on, even when I was in strong labor, I kept
thinking of that image-a huge, beautiful flower opening, and the baby
commg out.
All of a sudden, in the afternoon, I couldn't sit anymore. The con-
tractions were so strong that I had to stand up and lean over the bed to
deal with them. Every time I peed, they came up even harder. I became
scared to pee, because they hurt even more when I was sitting down. I
had to be on the move.
 All three midwives had the same opinion: "You might want to go for May came in, and she was telling me to go, "Pfffff" like a horse blowing
a walk." I couldri"'t imagi1il,.e
doing that, but I couldn't sit either. Instead of out its lips, between contractions. I did and each time it would make me
pacing around the house; Dan and I went walking in the woods. Every laugh, which helped me relax.
time I had a contraction, I grabbed on to him so I wouldn't fall. I had to But I was starting to think, Oh, my goodness! How can I stop this? I
bend my knees during the peak of each contraction; otherwise, it would felt like I was on a roller coaster: The whole ride is kind of scary, up and
have hurt worse. I couldn't have kept from bending my knees if I'd down, up and down; you get to the very highest peak and you're about
wanted to. My body was just doing what had to be done. to go down the steepest part-and you think, I'm going to die. I want to
When we were out in the woods, the trees and flowers and plants get off. That's how I felt, but I kept saying to myself, There is no way to
were very vivid and alive. It was the most real experience I've ever been stop this. I'm stuck in this now. I'm here. A couple of times, I thought,
through-so in-the-moment and so bright. No wonder people just go to a hospital to get some kind of painkiller. I
We stopped walking and sat for a little while. We were trying to kiss, wouldn't have wanted to do it that way, but when I was in the crazy
but every time I had a contraction, we would realize that it wasn't part, I kept thinking, No wonder people do it.
working. Ina May had said that kissing might help the baby come I had no due who was in the room. I knew Dan was on the right side
quicker, but as soon as I sat down and felt the first contraction, I said, of me. I was squeezing his hand, and sometimes I grabbed on to him.
"Thi~ is not happening." Dan had to help me back up, and we went Once during a contraction, I reached over and bit his chest! Another
walking around some more. I didn't want to go back y~i:. We walked time, I was leaning on Pamela's shoulder and I almost bit her! I stopped
through a little field of flowers at the edge of the woods and through the myself when I realized what I was about to do. It was just a reaction.
horse pasture. We saw a horse that was pregnant. Just a week before, I There were times I was thinking to myself, I can't do this, it's too much,
had gone out to the pasture; the horse and I had toucht;d bellies and had I can't do it. A few times, Pamela put her face a couple of inches away
our picture taken. from mine, gently pulled back my hair, and said "You're doing fine. You
When we got back to the house, I walked around and around in it. are having this sweet baby. Keep breathing." This helped.
Every time I felt a contraction begin, I would look for something or . For a while I stood on my knees with my body upright during con-
someone to grab on to. And someone-either Dan or one of the mid- tractions. Between them I rested on all fours with my head down on the
wives-would push on my back. That eased it so much. Without some- bed. Then the baby's head moved further .down, making that position
one massaging my back, it was too much. painful rather than comfortable. Suddenly I couldn't kneel on all fours
Every contraction had a definite end. There were no two ways about anymore. I had to be upright. I could feel he was coming. My body
it. It would be so strong, then all of a sudden it would be gone. That was \- started pushing down. I thought the baby was coming outmy butt. The
the best feeling in the world. Once it was done, I was euphoric. Right af- midwives assured me he wasn't. "I know he is, I can feel it," I said. I
ter a contraction was when things would be the most vivid. I would feel thought something was wrong, and I was scared to push.
so good. Pamela was right in front of me, and Dan was right next to me. I was
I kept walking around. Every time I tried to sit, it felt like the baby's squeezing on to him for dear life, and Pamela kept pulling my hair bac!<
head was already halfway out and I was sitting on it. (His head was out of my face and talking me through it. It started burning badly, and I
nowhere near out, but that was how it felt.) For a while nothing hap- screamed. I heard these noises come from myself that didn't sound hu-
pened. I was just dealing with the contractions. When Ina May checked man. They sounded beastly, primitive. My whole body was coming
me next, I was 8.5 centimeters. Pamela suggested that I get on all fours, down and trying to get the baby out.
which I did, and the contractions got even stronger. She kept saying to Eventually, I thought I might be able to lie back. When I did, t11t'
me , "Breathe between contractions." When I did have a contraction, she midwives saw I was crowning. They kept wiping my face with a wash
would say, "Breathe it out, breathe it out." I had started screaming. Ina cloth, and I was thinking, Can't you just pour a bucket of water on 111 .?
 But I couldn't get the words out. They sprayed oil on me and the baby's me to open my mouth enough to surround my husband's. It was at this
head came right out. (I watched the video that was made, and it actually point that I became more aroused than I had ever been in my life! There
took a couple of minutes, but I thought it happened instantly.) was no pain-only the most extreme sexual pleas~re and complete open-
Dan's mom was in position to deliver, and her touch felt good. I felt ness. It was orgasmic. I'm sure that all of this happened within just a few
my baby's head push through. The rest of his body shot out. It felt dif- seconds, but I passed through transition, and before I knew it, I was
ferent from the head, but it felt so good. I was so relieved. I lay back and starting to push the baby out. I could not have been more surprised. Not
just breathed for what seemed like the first time in a year. only did I have a new son, but I now had a brand-new feeling about my
When I was pushing, I was thinking, Never again. I'll never do this husband. What astonished me the most was that the latter part of labor
again. But as soon as he came out-the second they laid him on me-I was not just pain-free, but really good. My husband and I have been
thought. Wow, look at you! For you it was worth it. You are so beautiful. married more than thirty years now and have two grandchildren. I tell
Then they started talking about the placenta coming out, and I my kids about my son's birth, because I know that this birth experience
thought, Oh, no, there's more! I asked if it was going to be anything like helped me through the years with my marriage-it confirmed the trust
pushing him out, and they told me it was a lot easier. in such a vulnerable and sacred place.
I had uever wanted to have a kid. The two or three times I had held a )},
baby in my life, I felt really awkward. When I got pregnant, I was okay
~ Galen's Birth-September 16, 1972 'kt~h,'2\J\_\
with it, but I was still worried. I knew I would love him, but I hoped I ~,\ I
By Anita Staengl ~ ~ '\ '. \ Q/J • I '1
would adore him. The second he came out, it was as if he had always ) v' I' ~, '. \~Jj'vl..t.l.o\;)" [,;0
been with me, he was meant to be with me. Nothil;g felt weird about it On the morning of my son's birth, I started getting what felt like cramps.
at ~ll. It felt so natural and so pedect. I just held him, and I looked at Luke, my husband, waited awhile and then called the midwives. It was a
him, and I thought, You're what was missing in my life. beautiful sunny day, and I spent most of it walking around outside.
Contractions started getting heavier. My water broke. "I feel scared,"
I said.
Early in my career, I attended a birth and learned from it an important Ina May got tight up into my face and asked, "Of what?"
technique for lessening labor pain for women for whom it is culturally I thought it was obvious. I was afraid ofthis incredible pain that felt
appropriate. like a lightning bolt going through me.
During the next contraction I realized that I was indulging in self-
~ Who Knew? pity. Then I thought, No, I'm supposed co be having a baby here, not
By Anonymous \h\ } ,>..; thinking of myself! I began to follow Ina May's instructions of taking
deep breaths with each contraction. I felt like I was turning myself in-
The midwives came and helped me breathe deeply through the contrac-
side out with each push. Sitting up helped me use up all of the energy of
tions. This deep breathing did make the pains less. Then the contractions
the contraction so that I didn't really feel pain.
became even more intense, and I was not sure I could stand any more.
Galen was born with a few pushes, one and a half hours after my
Seeing that I was scared, Ina May suggested that I kiss my husband dur-
water broke. When he came out, he Was a bright reddish-purple. I
ing the next contraction. This was the furthest thing from my mind, but I
thought an organ of my body was slipping out when he began to ap-
did what she said. I should say here that my relationship hfld been rather
pear. He lay perfectly still, like a blue Aztec statue. We all held our
rocky around this time, and the way we kissed each other had never been
breath, and slowly pink spread over his body. One of the midwives
very satisfying to me. Anyway, while kissing, the contractions continued
cleaned his nose, and he started crying and alternately clenching his
to be strong. Ina May was sitting on the end of the bed, and she advised fists and spreading out his fingers.

.~
 rhythm and then let go, leaving my neck flaccid and my head lolling
He immediately took to my breast.
We slept. The ~'extday Luke looked beautiful to me, his hair and skin against Don's chest.
tinted golden by the sun. He was singing, "That's the way God made it, Each time a wave crashed through, the midwives cheered, no long I'
concerned with creating a quiet atmosphere. "Good one!" they encour-
because that's the way He wanted it to be."
Galen had a wonderful fragrance emanating from his little head. It aged. I had the thought that I was supposed to be able to hold my head
lingered for days, filling our room. I have since heard that sweet smell is up-although there was no longer any way of controlling my muscles.
As Leslie and the others cheered my progress, I realized whatever was
a sign of the presence of angels. I believe they were present.
happening must be just right. I could be rowdy if I liked.
In position for the birth, I made some cow noises. Leslie told me that
~ Samuel's Birth Story--July 18, 1979 an open, relaxed mouth helped open my bottom.
By Patricia Lapidus Thel1:~9-eyr:r:.,:n~ged~ 10velYJi_~ptise. As I was getting ready to push,
By evening I knew I was not going to go to bed for a normal sleep. I my dear friend Kay Marie (who was also a midwife) came into the room.
She lived in Washington, D.C., and was present on The Farm only be-
wasn't rushing much yet. I was just tending to float away-and I had an
amazing feeling of energy that I was ready to use in a big way! We de- cause of a midwife conference taking place. Knowing that she had not
been present to 'catch my older son, the midwives had invited her t
cided to go to bed and snooze while we could.
Some time during the timeless hours, Mary Louise, one of the mid- catch Samuel. Leslie, who had done so much for me during all the hours,
wives, brushed my hair in a very soothing way. She was so thoughtful moved over with a smile, as pleased as I was with Kay Marie's being
that she understood I had to spit the ice out during each rush and have it there. She h~d no ego investment after all those hours. I was so grateful.
back to suck on between rushes. Things like that became important and A few pushes and Samuel appeared, headfirst, then shoulders, with a
little help from Kay Marie, who supported him gently. He seemed to
I hardly had to explain. .
Whenever I felt a rush begin, I would look at Don and say, "Ready, slip out easily after all the effort.
babe?" and he would grin. I would look into his eyes and we would She put the baby on my belly. "Look at him, honey!" I exclaimed t
laugh. Everyone laughed with us. I realized it was up to rne as the labor- Don, and we began to study our child the way parents do. His eyes were
ing ~oman to set t~~~. When I decided to have a good time, we open. He seemed to see us. ~e ~as an old ~oul, only temporarily small,
could all have a good time. The rushes felt like riding giant ocean waves. come to us for his own inscrutable purposes. He inspired respect and
devotion. .
I'm from the coast of Maine, so I know waves. The image of waves
washing ov~r me helped me allow the universe to do its work. The
waves pounded the granite shores of my flesh. I was beyond choice, be-
Angelika and Viktor are German nationals who became pregnant while
yond mind.
Leslie, my midwife, managed my labor very thoughtfully. She sug- traveling in North America.
gested I sit on the edge of the bed and lean on Don, allowing gravity to
assist in opening. He was wonderful, so steady and present and patient ~ Angelika's Story-June 18, 1991
with his strong, unchanging body. I hung on to him just to be grounded By Angelika and Viktor Engelmann
in physical reality. I thought it was magical of him to be able to hold his
body still. Now he became the granite shore and I became the waves. A We were ma;ried for fifteen years before getting pregnant. The preg-
huge rush would take me, all of me-every muscle, not only the ones in nancy was a surprise to us, since we had been together so long and had
my uterus around the baby-every muscle all the way to my scalp. The never used birth control. Having no kids made it easy for us to trav ·1
rushes were so intense now that they took my neck muscles into their around different parts of the world in our camper. My birth story begins