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Aperture Science Enrichment Center Volunteer Application Form

The document is an application form for volunteering to participate in experimental testing scenarios at the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. It warns applicants of hazardous conditions like hallucinations and contact with material emancipation grills that can cause vaporization. It also notes that subjects may be assigned a Weighted Companion Cube to assist with tasks, but will have to dispose of it in an incinerator upon completion. The form states that the testing will not be monitored and wishes the applicant good luck.

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824 views1 page

Aperture Science Enrichment Center Volunteer Application Form

The document is an application form for volunteering to participate in experimental testing scenarios at the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. It warns applicants of hazardous conditions like hallucinations and contact with material emancipation grills that can cause vaporization. It also notes that subjects may be assigned a Weighted Companion Cube to assist with tasks, but will have to dispose of it in an incinerator upon completion. The form states that the testing will not be monitored and wishes the applicant good luck.

Uploaded by

hello56754
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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08 Aperture Science Enrichment Center Volunteer Application Form

Notes

Subject name: ___________________________


Subject hometown: ___________________________

Hello.
Thank you for expressing interest in the Aperture Science Enrichment Center testing program. By completing this application you are volunteering to
participate in one or more standard unspecified experimental testing scenarios. Aperture Laboratories can not elaborate on the nature of any testing
until said testing has begun, and in certain cases can not clarify the intent of the test until successful completion, or death.
As part of a required protocol, we must advise you of the following hazardous conditions:
The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations.
To ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Avoid contact with any Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill as it may result in partial vaporization.
At this time the Enrichment Center would like to alert you that in certain testing scenarios you may be assigned an Aperture Science Weighted
Companion Cube. This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through your test. Please take care of it. Certain protocols render your
Companion Cube indispensable, as it will assist in various requisite tasks. The Enrichment Center would like to take this moment to warn you that the
Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you, and in fact can not speak. In the event that the Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center
urges you to disregard its advice. Upon completion of given tasks you may be required to dispose of your Companion Cube in an Aperture Science
Emergency Intelligence Incinerator. Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science
employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanizing process. Although the euthanizing process is
remarkably painful, 8 out of 10 Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain. If it could
talk, and the Aperture Science Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it can not, it would tell you to go on without it because it
would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
As part of a required test protocol we will not monitor the test. You will be entirely on your own. Good Luck.
Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience. The enrichment center apologizes for the inconvenience and wishes you the
best of luck. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

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