THE GREAT

EPISODE ONE
Love and Marriage, Horse and Carriage.

Written by

Tony McNamara

UTA
 ii.

March 2 2018
A BLACK CARD.

THE GREAT

‘Occasional historical facts enclosed’

EXT ROADWAY DAY

1710 A carriage thunders through a forest landscape.

INT CARRIAGE DAY

Catherine, a young woman in her twenties. Charismatic, smart,

idealistic and asleep, surrounded by books.

EXT GARDEN DAY

Germany, 1710. A beautiful green garden. Flowers bloom,

butterflies flutter by. Two girls of seventeen swing on a
swing set. Catherine, wearing a beautiful blue silk dress and
bare feet. Angeline, a dyspeptic, prim looking girl in a
black silk dress and button up boots.

ANGELINE
I overheard my father talking last
night. He said your father is a
fool, that you have practically no
money and that you will soon lose
everything.

Catherine smiles, unperturbed.

CATHERINE
I don’t think that is true. We had
strawberries last night.

ANGELINE
So?

CATHERINE
They are an expensive fruit and I
always equate them with optimism
and happiness.

ANGELINE
You are a very naive girl. It is a
constant embarrassment to me.
 2.

CATHERINE
I just see the good in things. You
should try it. There is so much
good, Angeline. This morning I
found a bird in my pocket.

She takes a bird out of her pocket.

CATHERINE (CONT'D)
I hadn’t even noticed it climb in
there. Just heard it chirping
happily.

Catherine smiles broadly as the bird flies off.

ANGELINE
Oh my God, you are a child.

CATHERINE
Also not true. I am to be married.

INT CARRIAGE DAY

Catherine sits with a book in her lap.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)
Da. Nyet.

Books are stacked on the seat beside her, spilling down onto
the floor of the carriage.

EXT GARDEN DAY

Angeline stares at her a beat.

ANGELINE
Who would marry you? Does this
crazy man know your family’s
situation? That you have nothing!

CATHERINE
He cares not for such matters.
Emperor Peter and I are about finer
things.

Angeline’s swing shudders to a halt as her boots hit the

turf. She can barely bring herself to ask the question.
Slowly she asks.
 3.

ANGELINE
Emperor Peter? Of Russia?

CATHERINE
Yip.
Russia. Just the word evokes
visions of wonder, of a kingdom the
likes of which no one has seen
before. I am to be Empress of
Russia, Angeline! Isn’t that so...
completely right?!

ANGELINE
(stricken)
NO!

CATHERINE
(Joyfully)
Yes!

ANGELINE
No!

CATHERINE
Yes!

ANGELINE
No.

CATHERINE
Angeline, enough. It is too tiring
and I have a long trip ahead of me.
To Russia, where I am to be
Empress.

A bewildered Angeline shakes her head.

ANGELINE
How did this happen?

CATHERINE
He was sent my portrait and chose
me.

ANGELINE
Your portrait? He will be
disappointed when you arrive.
 4.

CATHERINE
He will love me and I him. He has
sent me a beautiful letter. Why
must you be cruel, Angeline? You
are a plain girl and it would suit
you better to have a sunny
disposition.

INT CARRIAGE DAY

Catherine looks out the window.

CATHERINE
Driver?

DRIVER
Yes.

CATHERINE
Stop please.

Catherine steps down from the carriage. Looks around. A deep

green forest reflected in a lake of crystal blue. The beauty
is overwhelming.

Catherine drops to her knees. Kisses the ground.

EXT GARDEN DAY

Catherine swings, smiling. Angeline stares at her.

ANGELINE
You, Empress of Russia. I feel
faint.

She sits on the ground.

CATHERINE
They have bears. I may get one.
They look cute.

ANGELINE
Cute! How did he even know you
existed?!

CATHERINE
He is my mother’s second cousin.
 5.

ANGELINE
You are practically brother and
sister. Your children will look
like hamsters!

Catherine jumps from the swing, lands elegantly and turns to

Angeline.

CATHERINE
Then they will remind me of you and
I shall look fondly upon them. We
will not meet again, dear Angeline
but I shall carry the look on your
face with me always. You have often
been cruel to me, but I have felt
your unhappiness and so I forgive
you.

ANGELINE
I don’t want you to fo-

CATHERINE
Too late, I already did it. I greet
the world with love and it greets
me the same. You spit in its eye
and wonder why your face is wet.
‘Peter the Great’. I guess that
will make me ‘Catherine the Great’.

INT CARRIAGE DAY

Catherine, asleep as the carriage rumbles on.

A crack of lightning and thunder sounds above her. Catherine

wakes and looks out her window. Mist envelopes the forest,
rain starts to drizzle down.

Soldiers suddenly appear from the forest, injured and

wounded. They appear ghostly in the mist. The carriage
carries on and they are lost again, as quickly as they came.

EXT WINTER PALACE DAY

The carriage pulls up outside the Winter Palace. An

impressive, Petrine Baroque building overlooking the Neva
river.

INT PALACE HALLWAY DAY

 6.

Catherine walks along behind a guard, her excitement growing.

The hallway is long and dark, lit by candles and lined with
stuffed animal heads: Stuffed elk and bear but also smaller
animals like foxes and even squirrels. Catherine carries a
small cutting of spruce in her hand.

Doors open and finally she stands alone in a receiving area

furnished by a few chairs, one broken.

There is a sudden rumble of noise and talking coming from

behind the doors in front of her.

The doors break open and Peter the Great enters. He’s
handsome, tall, with dark foppish hair and dressed in black
with a natty red scarf. Catherine curtseys.

CATHERINE
Emperor.

Peter comes to Catherine and walks around her, examining her

carefully. Finally he stops in front of her.

PETER
You looked taller in your portrait.

CATHERINE
Oh... I... um...

PETER
(To the entourage)
Send her back. Get me a tall one!

He turns on his heel and heads toward the door, to the

surprise of Catherine. Peter suddenly breaks down giggling,
thrilled at his joke.

PETER (CONT’D)
See what I did then?

The others start with appreciative, though somewhat fake,

laughter. Peter comes back to a still confused Catherine. He
is filled with boyish charm and a childish brio.

PETER (CONT’D)
I’m kidding. Kidding.

Catherine breaks into a smile.

 7.

CATHERINE
Oh I see. Yes. Very amusing.
Emperor Peter I present this branch
of spruce. It is an evergreen and I
hope it will be a symbol of our
feelings for each other. That we
will be constant and caring all our
lives.

Peter takes the branch, bemused. Walks back to his entourage.

PETER
(To his entourage)
She gave me a twig? She’s not a
retard is she?

ARCHBISHOP
It wasn’t mentioned.

Catherine is shocked.

CATHERINE
I assure you I am of sound mind,
sir. I wanted to thank you for your
letter. Noble, poetic sentiments.
It warmed my heart. I too wish the
same as you, that our love will
grow from a small ember to a blaze
that will warm our whole kingdom.

Beat

PETER
(to entourage)
I wrote a letter?

ORLO
We threw a little something
together.

PETER
How ‘bout that? Well, you liked it,
so that’s grand.

He comes back to Catherine. Takes her hands.

PETER (CONT’D)
Welcome.
 8.

CATHERINE
I hope I make you happy.

PETER
You’re perfect.

She blushes.

PETER (CONT’D)
I need an Empress who’s from
aristocracy, but not from a family
that is powerful or a player. Your
family, apparently, are fucked.

Catherine is startled. Peter, meanwhile, is suddenly wistful.

PETER (CONT’D)
I wish mother were here.

CATHERINE
She has passed?

PETER
I miss her.

CATHERINE
That’s sweet.

Beat.

His nose wrinkles.

PETER
You smell funny. Is that usual?

CATHERINE
I... have been travelling.

PETER
Let’s hope that’s it. Wedding's at
seven. Archbishop Samsa will now
give you instructions. Whoah you’re
cute. I have to go back to my
whores... horses. Horses. Going
riding.

He exits with a giggle, leaving Catherine a bit disconcerted.

 9.

INT HALLWAY

Catherine walks along the hallway, trying to keep up with the

lugubrious, cunning, heavily bearded Archbishop.

CATHERINE
He seems lovely. Obviously some
cultural issues may be at play, but
I will soon get used to that and we
will be as one.

ARCHBISHOP
Aren’t you gorgeously optimistic?

CATHERINE
It has been said, and I believe
there is no other way to be.

ARCHBISHOP
Indeed. And how is your
relationship to the Lord our God?

CATHERINE
We’ve had no trouble as yet.

ARCHBISHOP
You must allow me to be a spiritual
mentor to you, a guide touched by
God.

CATHERINE
Of course. Thank you.

INT CATHERINE’S QUARTERS

The Archbishop leads her into a large apartment. A servant

woman stands as they enter. She curtsies.

ARCHIE
This is Marial. She will be your
girl.

Marial is in her early twenties, with red hair and a quick

dry wit.

MARIAL
Empress.

Catherine smiles and nods. The Archbishop turns to Catherine.

 10.

ARCHIE
I now need to find out if you are
intact.

CATHERINE
I’m sorry?

ARCHIE
Whether your interior wall has been
breached.

He pulls his gloves off, holds up two fingers, and spits on

them. Catherine stares at him.

CATHERINE
What wall are we talking about?

Marial whispers to her.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)
My -

MARIAL
(apologetically)
It is the way of things. A
tradition for royalty.

ARCHBISHOP
Lay down.

Marial reluctantly leads Catherine over to the bed. Catherine

lies down. Stares up at the ceiling. Winces.

INT PETER’S APARTMENTS

Peter is dressing in a shirt, pulling on pants. Servants help

him.

Madam Putin, thirties, cool, elegant, hard to read lies naked

on the bed, draped in a sheet.

Gregor, Peter’s best friend, thirty, kind looking, loyal

comes in with a knock.

Peter looks up at him.

PETER
How do I look? Marvelous or bloody
marvelous.
 11.

Gregor crosses to Peter, a quick flick of his eyes to Putin

in bed. He takes Peter in.

GREGOR
Mostly marvelous. You have a hair
that has escaped the blade.

PETER
I do?

GREGOR
I will pluck it.

PETER
No, your wife can do it.

Madam Putin stirs on the bed. She gets up. Walks to them.

Pecks her husband on the cheek and faces Peter. Pulls the
hair.

PETER (CONT’D)
Fuck. Ouch. She has her brutal
side.

PUTIN
It is part of my charm.

GREGOR
How true.

Peter checks himself in the mirror.

PETER
Mother liked me to look perfect.
And on a day like today...

GREGOR
She would be proud.

Peter turns to them.

PETER
You are my dearest friends. Embrace
me!

The three of them hug awkwardly.

 12.

INT THE BANQUET ROOM NIGHT

The wedding feast. A long dining table, with Peter and

Catherine in the centre. Music plays. Catherine notices the
women wear wigs but they’re worn kind of like hats, sitting
strangely on their heads. One of the women notices her
noticing.

WOMAN
Empress, it is the latest from
Paris. You recognise it no doubt?

Catherine nods with a weak smile.

CATHERINE
I do not but I recognize it as...
special.

The woman smiles.

General Velementov, a fat, boozy looking General in his

fifties sits alongside Orlo, a bookish, neurotic guy,
glasses, in his thirties. The General stares at Catherine.

ORLO
General, stop staring at the
Empress. You will attract his
attention. Is that what you wish?

VELEMENTOV
She is a vision of radiance. I must
make my introduction.

ORLO
A bad idea.

Peter and Catherine eat.

PETER
This fucking duck is delicious! Do
you not find?

CATHERINE
Indeed.

Peter catches the Archbishop’s eye and yells across the

table.
 13.

PETER
Ever eaten duck as good as this
Archie?

ARCHBISHOP
I have not.

PETER
Ever eaten pussy?!

ARCHBISHOP
I have not.

PETER
God is a cruel master!

General Velementov, who has made his way over to them, bows.

PETER (CONT’D)
Empress this is Velementov, my
General in charge of our war on the
infidel.

Velementov kisses Catherine’s hand and makes a slight moaning

sound as his lips touch her skin.

CATHERINE
I saw soldiers on the road on my
trip.

PETER
Oh, did they look happy?

CATHERINE
They seemed scattered and badly
wounded.

PETER
Shit. Maybe we lost. Velementov,
you horse’s bitch!

VELEMENTOV
Sir, I have had no definitive
reports from the front, however a
rider is expected immi-

Peter, annoyed, lifts his leg and boots him hard in the
chest. Velementov topples over.
 14.

CATHERINE
Dear sir.

She goes to help him.

VELEMENTOV
I am fine. It is a jape is all.

CATHERINE
Oh. You seemed hurt.

VELEMENTOV
There is much fat to cushion me.
How radiant you are.

CATHERINE
Thank you.

Peter throws a glass at the wall, others follow. He stands

and addresses the crowd.

PETER
I miss my mother today. How she
would’ve loved this.

Catherine is touched by his emotion.

PETER (CONT’D)
She was the last Empress of Russia.

CROWD
Huzzah!

PETER
A toast to my new wife, the new
Empress of Russia!

CROWD
Huzzah!

They all hurl glasses at the walls. Some miss and hit people.
Catherine goes to stand and speak.

PETER
You don’t talk my love.

CATHERINE
Oh. Of course.

She sits back down.

 15.

PETER
So, a wedding gift for my new wife
seems in order!

They all applaud. Catherine excitedly. He leans over, kisses

her cheek.

PETER (CONT’D)
I hope you like it.

The doors open and a brown bear is led in. Catherine’s eyes
pop open with joy. She squeals and runs to the bear
fearlessly.

With Orlo and Velementov.

ORLO
They have de-clawed this one?

VELEMENTOV
Must you be scared of everything
Orlo?

ORLO
It is called wisdom and
discernment.

Velementov roars at Orlo. He startles. Everyone around him

laughs. He blushes.

Catherine pats the bear happily. Runs to Peter, hugs him.

CATHERINE
Thank you.

PETER
Huzzah!

INT CATHERINE’S QUARTERS NIGHT

A line of Catherine’s trunks. Marial, opens up trunk after

trunk of books. Catherine, in a nightgown, lies on the bed.

MARIAL
Madam, where are the rest of your
clothes?

CATHERINE
They’re somewhere I’m sure.
 16.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)
Me, a married woman. How I dreamed
of this.

MARIAL
Congratulations.

CATHERINE
And did I tell you about the bear?

MARIAL
You did, but I am happy to hear of
it again.

CATHERINE
I once dreamed of... No, had a
vision of a bear and the bear
embraced me and my heart was
aflame. From that moment I always
knew I would have a great love.

MARIAL
I see.

CATHERINE
I am sorry to... I am just...
excited.

MARIAL
Madam, if I may speak... You do
know... Um, are you ready for
tonight? You do know what to
expect?

CATHERINE
You suppose me more naive than I
am. My mother has explained
everything.

MARIAL
She has?

CATHERINE
Yes. The man caresses you softly,
pressing his lips to yours. Your
breasts and skin awaken and shiver
with palpitating joy. Between your
legs quivers and moistens with
longing. He enters you and you
become one.
(MORE)
 17.

CATHERINE (CONT'D)
Your bodies meld, your souls mesh.
As the sensation takes hold of you,
you fall into a black sky filled
with the shiniest of stars. You
float for a time in ecstacy before
waves of pleasure push and pull you
back into your body. Your body
ushers forth yelps and sometimes
song, before he and you explode
within, collapsing together spent
and unified. Then you lay together,
laughing softly, weeping
occasionally with ecstatic joy and
finally he wraps his arms around
you, whispers poetry softly into
your ear and you fall into a
delicious sleep.

Marial stares at her. A beat.

MARIAL
Yep. That’s pretty much it.

Voices are heard approaching.

CATHERINE
It is him.

MARIAL
Good... luck.

She exits, leaving Catherine alone. Catherine arranges

herself in what she imagines is a sensual pose on the bed.

INT HALLWAY NIGHT

Peter walks with Gregor. Gregor has a duck Kazoo in his hand.
Blows it.

PETER
He was saying it will bring the
ducks to you, instead of you having
to find them.

Peter gets to the door of Catherine’s room and enters,

leaving the door open for Gregor.
 18.

INT CATHERINE’S ROOM

Catherine lies on the bed.

CATHERINE
My dear Peter.

Peter resumes his conversation with Gregor, out of sight but

at the door.

PETER
But then he does it, he blows this
caller...
I don’t believe it and then...
(to Catherine)
Empress.

She leans towards him for a kiss. He kisses her for a moment,
then rolls her onto her stomach, unbuttoning his pants.

He enters her. She gives a sharp cry. He starts fucking her.

PETER (CONT’D)
And fucking ducks come from...
Oh... everywhere. But not like four
or five, like fifty.

GREGOR OS
It is hilarious.

PETER
Oo. It was. Truly comical. Fucking
ducks everywhere. We all just... Ah
ah... started running for cover.
Firing like crazy. Ducks are
dropping, people are... screaming.

GREGOR OS
I would love to see it.

PETER
Ah ah... I will get him to do it
again. But this time we will...
Aaah!...

He stops, breathes heavily.

PETER (CONT'D)
... watch from the balcony. No
danger to us.
 19.

He starts buttoning his pants up.

PETER (CONT’D)
Whew. Marvelous. Let us hope my
seed has found purchase. Have a
pleasant evening Empress.

He heads out toward the door.

PETER (CONT’D)
So Gregor, shall we crack that new
vodka from Kiev?

He exits, leaving a stunned Catherine still lying on her

stomach on the bed. A pensive, disconcerted look on her face.

INT BEDROOM DAY

Catherine lies awake as the new day breaks.

An idea. A determined look on her face.

She goes to her side table and takes a sheet of paper and a
pen and writes the words.

1. Love Peter

2. Make him love me.

3. Find culture and education here.

Marial enters with a breakfast tray..

MARIAL
Are you alright Empress?

CATHERINE
Quite fabulous.

MARIAL
(surprised)
Last night was... alright? As you’d
...imagined?

CATHERINE
Well, to be honest with you it
was... brief. And... somewhat
abrupt.

MARIAL
Brief is often a relief.
 20.

CATHERINE
And it was not much as I had
imagined.

MARIAL
I’m sorry. I had thought of warning
you.

CATHERINE
It is possible I had an overly
romantic view of its unfolding. I
do that.

MARIAL
You would not be the first.

CATHERINE
The truth is we do not know each
other, our love is an ember, a mere
spark, and I must blow on it with
the full force of my lungs so that
it bursts into passionate flames.

Marial isn’t sure how to respond to Catherine’s bright eyed

fire.

MARIAL
Right.
Shall you breakfast here or in the
garden?

CATHERINE
I will breakfast with my husband.
Where is that?

INT DINING ROOM

A dark, sparsely decorated dining room with a long table.

Peter is hungover, in pants, bare torsoed.

He sits alone throwing bits of bread and cheese to his dogs.

PETER
Zeus tear my head off will you?

He hears the doors creak open.

 21.

PETER (CONT’D)
I am not to be disturbed! I will
cut your throat.

CATHERINE
I would rather you kiss it dear
husband.

He looks up, sees Catherine.

PETER
Oh, hello.
What do you want?

CATHERINE
You look unwell. I recognise it. My
father looked this way often.
Maid!

A maid scurries in.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)
Bring the Emperor two raw eggs,
tomato juice, salt, pepper and a
jigger of vodka. Shake it and pour
it into a glass.

The maid exits.

PETER
I like to be alone in the-

CATHERINE
I’m sure you did, but now we shall
greet the day together, with sunny
dispositions and fearless hearts.

Peter stares at her. Baffled. Catherine looks at the dog.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)
Hello dog.

Peter is about to throw her out but the drink arrives with
the maid.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)
My father liked to imbibe heavily,
this was his solution to the
morning troubles.
 22.

Peter looks at it.

PETER
It has vodka in it?

The maid nods. Peter shrugs, throws it back. Shudders a

little.

PETER (CONT’D)
Huzzah!

He throws his glass at the wall. It shatters.

PETER (CONT’D)
I like it. Yes. That’s better. You
are a witch.

CATHERINE
You must break a lot of glasses.

PETER
... I suppose we do.

He looks at her.

PETER (CONT’D)
Come.

Catherine smiles. Happy.

INT HALLWAY

Peter walks along the hallway. Catherine follows a step

behind, trying to keep up.

CATHERINE
Shall we perhaps picnic today?

PETER
This is mother.

He stops in front of a mummified body in a glass case.

PETER (CONT’D)
I would not bury her. I could not
bear the thought of never seeing
her.

CATHERINE
She is stuffed?
 23.

PETER
Oh mother...

He starts sobbing. Then beats at the glass. Catherine tries

to embrace him. He shakes her off. Straightens himself up.
Walks to the window.

PETER (CONT’D)
Apologies. Ridiculous. I might have
the flu.
Mother, this is Catherine.

Catherine curtsies.

CATHERINE
It is my honour.

Catherine is moved. Looks at Peter, still faced away.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)
You loved her so.

PETER
She was a Goddess. Extraordinary,
powerful. No one like her.
Strangely I felt paralysed when she
was around. Someone should work out
what goes on between a chap and his
mother. There’d be money in that.
Alright. That’s done.

He steps into the hall. Catherine follows.

CATHERINE
Where shall we go now?

PETER
I have mens things.

Peter sees Madame Putin walking toward them.

PETER (CONT'D)
Madame Putin.

PUTIN
Emperor.

PETER
Take the Empress to the other
ladies and speak of hats.
 24.

PUTIN
Of course.

CATHERINE
Oh. I will see you later?

PETER
Indeed.
It may indeed be pleasant to have a
wife.

She smiles. He grabs her tits suddenly, quickly.

PETER (CONT’D)
Yes, it is pleasant!

Laughs. Heads off. Sees Velementov walking further down the

hall.

PETER (CONT’D)
Velementov! Come here you fat fuck!

Velementov runs. Peter starts chasing him. Catherine is

disconcerted. Putin takes her arm and leads her off the other
way.

PUTIN
Let us walk.

INT HALLWAY

Catherine walks with Madame Putin.

CATHERINE
He is a mercurial fellow. Deep of
heart I feel. And a curious jester.

Putin looks at her.

PUTIN
How sweet you are. I could put you
in my mouth and you would dissolve.

CATHERINE
Then do not, for I am too happy.

PUTIN
I will be your dearest friend and
confidante. You will need one.
(MORE)
 25.

PUTIN (CONT'D)
Most of the women have tongues in
the shape of a cat o nine tails.

Putin pushes open a door and it opens into.

INT SALON

A room of well groomed, heavily made up ladies. They all

applaud and curtsey. Surround Catherine with embraces and
welcoming smiles. Catherine is overwhelmed, happy.

They lead her to a chair.

Hat boxes abound.

PUTIN
Hats have just arrived from Paris.
You must know all the latest
gossip.

CATHERINE
On... hats? No, I have never been
much interested in hats. However
have any of you read the latest
Montesquieu? I have a copy if you
would like.

A silence.

PUTIN
A delightful jest. Bravo.

They all applaud. Catherine doesn’t get it, so continues.

CATHERINE
We could all read it and then
discuss it together over tea and
cake. I would often do this with my
friends and sisters.

The women all look at Catherine. They see she’s serious.

PUTIN
We cannot read.

CATHERINE
None of you?

PUTIN
It is... not done.
 26.

WOMAN 2
And seems dull.

WOMAN 1
And time consuming.

Putin changes tack.

PUTIN
Anyways, more interestingly,
Captain Dostovey is seeing Lenka.

CATHERINE
(unsure)
Oh. That is nice.

WOMAN 2
It is unless you’re his wife!

The women all burst out laughing.

PUTIN
There is champagne being set
outside. Shall we roll balls on the
lawn?

EXT LAWN

Catherine stands watching as the women all roll colored balls

down a small incline. Servants collect them at the bottom.

CATHERINE
What happens now?

PUTIN
Well, they bring them back up and
we do it all again.

Catherine finds this ridiculous. Marial who holds a tray of

drinks near her, catches her look.

MARIAL
Empress, you seem tired. Might I
escort you to your apartments?

CATHERINE
Indeed I am a-

A lady interrupts.
 27.

LADY SVENSKY
Marial, you speak out of turn. You
must wait for the Empress or one of
the Ladies of court to address you.
You cannot just speak.

MARIAL
You may rip my tongue from my
foolish body dear Lady Svensky, or
try to, and we will see what
develops from there.

A beat. Some titter. Svensky blushes. Putin allows herself a

small smile.

PUTIN
Remember your place Marial.

MARIAL
My apologies ladies. I sometimes
forget who I am.

LADY SVENSKY
Of course we are within our rights
to whip you to remind you if needs
be.

MARIAL
Bit-

PUTIN
Marial has apologized and we are
all reminded of where we stand. In
time she will adjust. Empress,
would you like Marial to escort you
to your apartments?

CATHERINE
Indeed. Perhaps I shall see you
later.

PUTIN
That is the beautiful thing my
dear. You will see us every day
now.

Catherine takes this in. Nods.

INT HALLWAY DAY

 28.

Catherine and Marial walk the gloomy hallway.

CATHERINE
Do you wish to explain the exchange
on the lawn?

MARIAL
Not particularly.

CATHERINE
Do it anyway.

MARIAL
I was once one of them, a lady of
the court. My family had some
business dealings with the Emperor
and my father foolishly stuck to
his point of view. And so, he made
us servants.

CATHERINE
To humiliate you.

MARIAL
Father cleans the stables, my
sister is in the kitchens. It is
oddly clever of him. He could not
kill us as father is popular, but
to humiliate us is a standing
warning to all the court.

CATHERINE
That is sad. You best be careful
then.

MARIAL
It unfortunately is not part of my
nature.

CATHERINE
If you are a servant your nature is
not relevant and your insolence
will get you beaten.

Marial looks at her.

 29.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)
That is the truth of it and it
scares me that you would be beaten
so I say it plain so you will see
it.

MARIAL
It is well put. I shall try.

CATHERINE
You I like, very much.

MARIAL
And I you.

CATHERINE
They do not read. Do you?

MARIAL
A few words.

CATHERINE
Well no wonder they are cruel and
vapid like four year olds in
ridiculous hats. We must feel for
them.

MARIAL
It is impossible.

CATHERINE
We must try.

They walk on.

INT CATHERINE’S APARTMENT NIGHT

Catherine is in a sheer night gown. Her hair is being brushed

by Marial.

MARIAL
You are stunning.

CATHERINE
I aim to be that.
 30.

INT HALLWAY

Marial leads Catherine by candlelight, down the hallway. They

get to Peter’s doors. The guards look confused.

MARIAL
The Empress would like entry you
oafs.

CATHERINE
If you please.

INT PETER’S BEDROOM

Peter lies in bed under the sheets. His face in shadow of

candlelight. Catherine creeps into the room, a mischievous
smile on her face.

CATHERINE
Husband.

Peter’s eyes flip open.

PETER
Wife?!

Catherine drops her gown.

PETER (CONT’D)
Huzzah!

She moves toward him.

PETER (CONT’D)
Move over.

The covers beside him suddenly shift. Madame Putin pops her
head up from where she has been blowing him. Catherine reels.

PETER (CONT’D)
Come Empress.

CATHERINE
I-

PETER
Join us. It will be romping good
fun.

Catherine stops. Stunned. Hurt.

 31.

CATHERINE
I-

PETER
Oh for fuck’s sake! Do not be
boring and have a peasant’s
morality. And do not look at me as
mother would. Disdainful and hurt.
I will not fucking stand for it.
(He suddenly changes tack, is
pleasant)
I want you in this bed. Please.
Please. Make your husband happy. Is
that not what you came here to do?

Catherine nods. Raises a smile. Walks towards the bed.

INT PETER’S APARTMENTS DAY

Dawn. Catherine awakens in the bed. Putin and Peter asleep.

She wraps herself in as sheet, steps quietly from the bed.

Sees Gregor sitting in a chair beside the door, head in hands
staring at the floor. He looks up.

They stare at each other an awkward beat.

GREGOR
I am sorry. I am... I... Gregor, we
met at the wedding.

CATHERINE
She is your wife.

GREGOR
Yes. And he is my Emperor and I
love him so... that is... that and
this is this.

CATHERINE
I see. Is it not hard though... to
share?

GREGOR
Marriage is a struggle on a number
of levels.

CATHERINE
I am beginning to see that.
 32.

They smile wryly at each other.

GREGOR
I try to love... just that.

She nods.

EXT FOREST DAY

Peter and Catherine walk together along a forest path.

PETER
If you spy a rabbit, point but do
not yell.

CATHERINE
It must be an enormous
responsibility and honor to lead a
country of such import.

PETER
It’s actually not that hard.

CATHERINE
Really? The decisions must weigh
heavy.

PETER
No. Not really.
I was born to rule. Rabbit.

A rabbit in the brush. Peter pulls a pistol and shoots at it.

The rabbit hops away.

PETER (CONT’D)
Damn!

CATHERINE
I would like to be useful to
Russia. To help it’s greatness.

PETER
You will bear my heirs. There is no
higher use. You are blessed.

CATHERINE
I am indeed.

PETER
Are you with child yet?
 33.

CATHERINE
I am not.

PETER
I must empty myself into you again
soon. Rabbit.

She flinches as he shoots.

PETER (CONT’D)
DAMN!

CATHERINE
I thought perhaps I could help in
education. There is an explosion of
ideas in France.

PETER
And an explosion of syphilis in
Kiev!

CATHERINE
What?

PETER
It is a joke. You are slow of mind
and wit.
Gents! I said there is an explosion
of syphilis in Kiev!

He turns back. We realize they are being followed at ten

yards by Velementov, Gregor and others. They roar with
laughter. He resumes with Catherine.

PETER (CONT’D)
Did you roll colored balls with the
ladies?

CATHERINE
Briefly.

PETER
It is a lark. What fun.

CATHERINE
Yes. My question is, can I fund a
small school?
 34.

PETER
Will it stop you talking about dull
things? And I jest of course. Sort
of.

CATHERINE
It will.

PETER
If it makes you happy. You may do
it. Talk to Bettina for funds.

CATHERINE
Thank you. Thank you.

She hugs him. He turns back to his men.

PETER
Let us drink.

They all get flasks out. Catherine watches as Peter skols a

drink.

PETER (CONT’D)
Now let us fight.

He walks up to Velementov and punches in his face. Laughs.

PETER (CONT’D)
Fight back fatso. Hit me.

Velementov takes a purposefully lame swing and misses. Peter

kicks him in the balls. He goes down.

Angry for a second, Velementov runs at Peter, who

athletically pivots. He misses him.

PETER (CONT’D)
Finally some fight in the military.
About fucking time.

Peter goes toward Velementov who swings and hits Peter in the
mouth. Peter punches him hard and fast a few times in the
face. Velementov drops to his knees.

Blood flecks spray from his mouth onto Catherine’s dress. The
others laugh.

PETER (CONT’D)
Rich! RICH!
 35.

Peter grabs Velementov’s hand to pull him up and then sees.

PETER (CONT’D)
Rabbits!

They turn and see three rabbits looking at them. The rabbits
run. Peter runs into the brush after them, his posse
following behind.

Gunshots are heard.

EXT PALACE GROUNDS

In the palace grounds, a small cottage stands amidst a

cluster of outbuildings.

INT COTTAGE

Marial and Catherine look at it.

CATHERINE
We will paint it. Brighten it up.
Some chairs will be brought over
from the palace.

MARIAL
May I... learn?

CATHERINE
You must.

EXT PALACE GROUNDS

Catherine and Marial walk across a courtyard.

CATHERINE
Where is the library?

MARIAL
The what?

CATHERINE
Books. We must have books. Simple
to start. And perhaps we can have
talks on ideas.

They turn the corner and see a group of people crowding

around a tree, staring upwards. They walk over and look.
 36.

An executioner stands on a branch, holding a man with a noose

around his neck. Before Catherine can speak, the executioner
pushes the man off the branch.

Catherine stands there breathing hard, trying to suck air

into her body.

MARIAL
Actually, I think I know where the
books are.

INT LIBRARY

Catherine pushes open the door. It coughs up some dust as it

swings back. There are broken chairs. Crates of wine bottles
on the floor. She turns to Marial.

CATHERINE
Thankyou. I’ll be fine.

Catherine moves over to a cobwebbed row of books. Rests her

head against the shelf. Takes a moment. She runs her fingers
along the spines the books, covered in dust. She looks down
the end of the row and sees Orlo. He is reading and is caught
up in it, unaware of her. A tear trickles down his face as he
reads, a smile creases his lips. He looks up as he wipes the
tear away. Sees Catherine. Is startled.

ORLO
Empress.

He gets up fast, kicking the tea cup beside him across the
room. He scrambles after it.

It stops at her feet. He is on his knees in front of her.

CATHERINE
What were you reading?

ORLO
A book by a fellow, a brilliant
fellow called Rene Descartes.

CATHERINE
And you were moved?

ORLO
I’m sorry. It is embarrassing and
unmanly.
(MORE)
 37.

ORLO (CONT'D)
(to himself)
I’m such a dickhead. Fuck.

CATHERINE
His ideas light the mind. I told
him so.

ORLO
(surprised)
You know him?

CATHERINE
I only met him the once. He seemed
sweet and smelt of cheese but what
a mind.

ORLO
I am Count Orlo.

CATHERINE
Orlo. A pleasure. I am seeking some
books to put in my school.

ORLO
Your school?

CATHERINE
The Emperor has ordained I should
have a school. I will teach women
to read and hopefully talk much on
Descartes. You are welcome to help
me.

ORLO
I would be... stunned and elated.

INT BOARDROOM

Peter is rolling a marble along the table, Gregor rolls it

back. Velementov, Orlo and the Archbishop stand waiting.

PETER
So talk Velementov.

VELEMENTOV
The battle did not go as hoped.
 38.

PETER
Fuck. Again!
Why are we losing!? Anyone!?

VELEMENTOV
I believe I called for a halt and a
regroup before we set forth into
that valley. My opinion was-

PETER
Blame. Blame. I would’ve won if
what...? The rest of us had not had
an opinion?

ARCHBISHOP
It seems a good summation of
Velementov’s rather churlish
attitude Emperor.

ORLO
And yet possibly true. His plans
are often twisted by the group’s
opinions when in fact he is a
brilliant strategist.

VELEMENTOV
Thank you sir.

ARCHBISHOP
I believe Orlo will now talk of
suing for peace, as he revels in
our losses.

PETER
Is that true Orlo? You revel in our
losses?

ORLO
No, sir I...

PETER
I will stuff this marble deep in
your ass if it is. Fuck! What do we
do?

ORLO
The Archbishop started this war
when God sent him a vision.
(MORE)
 39.

ORLO (CONT'D)
Perhaps he could revisit this
vision and provide more details on
how to win it.

ARCHBISHOP
God has called us to it. We must
win it.

ORLO
God is all care and no
responsibility at times.

ARCHBISHOP
I do not doubt the Russian fighting
man and it is treasonous to do so.

VELEMENTOV
We lost some eighteen hundred men.

PETER
God Damn it! How’s that look? Bad
is how, in case any one was
wondering. My father won battles,
expanded the kingdom. I also do not
like all the limbless soldiers in
the halls. It casts a pall over the
fun of a ball when so many can’t
dance.

VELEMENTOV
Let me come back with a new
strategy.

PETER
Do that.

VELEMENTOV
I can win this for us.

PETER
So do.

ORLO
On another matter may I commend the
Emperor on his decision to allow
the Empress a school.

PETER
I make women happy Orlo. Sometimes
they yelp like newborn puppies.
(MORE)
 40.

PETER (CONT'D)
It is a lovely thing. You should
try it if your cock ever finds its
way out of your hand into a woman.

ORLO
Indeed...

PETER
Blushing. God you’re a faggot.

ARCHBISHOP
I would like to approve the texts
she wishes to teach. She may bring
some new ideas from the west. The
French are affecting Europe’s
thinking in a distressing way.

ORLO
In an astounding way that blows
light into our age. The fact that
women will be part of this is I
believe a stunning achievement for
our nation. And will be celebrated
across Europe.

They all stop.

ARCHBISHOP
Women?

PETER
What?

EXT SCHOOL HOUSE

The cottage is being painted and finished. Workmen bring

books in barrows. Catherine stands happily watching her
school take shape. A crowd of men arrive. They light Molotov
cocktails and hurl them through the windows. Start punching
the men and burning the books.

CATHERINE
No... No...

Guards pick her up and carry her away.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)
Let me go!!!
 41.

INT DINING ROOM

Peter is gathered with his cronies. A cock fight is taking

place on the floor of the dining room. Bets are being placed.
Men stand grooming their birds, drinking. Catherine enters.

CATHERINE
They have burnt my school down! You
must... seek justice, wreak...
havoc upon them.

PETER
You did not say this school was for
girls.

CATHERINE
I... did I not? Yes. Women here
cannot read.

PETER
And they shall not! Women are for
seeding not reading. Ha. Pithy.
Gents! I said, women are for
seeding not reading.

The men laugh.

CATHERINE
You? You burnt my school down!?

PETER
I did. You may go! I forgive you of
course as I am of gentle heart, and
massive cock. Gentleman! I said I
am of gentle heart and massive
cock!

ALL
HUZZAH!

CATHERINE
I-

PETER
Do not lie to me again!

He throws a glass at her. She ducks and it smashes above her

head.
 42.

PETER (CONT’D)
You are admirably quick. Huzzah!

She exits.

INT HALLWAY

Marial walks down an empty hallway. At the other end Lady

Svensky appears.

Two guards appear with her. Marial slows somewhat.

MARIAL
Gabriel I have apologized. We were
friends once.

SVENSKY
Guards.

The guards move toward her. Marial eyes her.

MARIAL
You are doing this then?

SVENSKY
It will help you adjust to your
place. Think of it as an act of
friendship.

Marial nods. The guards come toward her, one of them has a
piece of rod. Marial seems to acquiesce then suddenly sprints
through the gap between them, and is on Svensky, slamming her
into the wall. Marial bites her ear.

MARIAL
Let us make it worth it then.

The guards pull Marial off. One of them rips open her dress
at the back. A cane lands heavily. A dazed Svensky, bleeding
from her ear, watches on as the guards lay into Marial.

INT CATHERINE’S BEDROOM DAY

Marial comes in, stiff and sore. Catherine stares at the

ceiling.

MARIAL (CONT’D)
Morning Empress. Will you breakfast
in here or with him?
 43.

CATHERINE
I... Are you alright?

MARIAL
I slept badly.

She nods.

MARIAL (CONT’D)
Breakfast?

INT. BREAKFAST

Catherine eats silently, reading. Peter sits, throwing bread

to his dog. He watches Catherine for a moment.

PETER
Did you see Gregor carrying two
baby ducks everywhere yesterday?
Hilarious. Nipping at vodka in his
pocket they were.

Nothing.

PETER (CONT’D)
We do not have to breakfast
together.

CATHERINE
I wish it to bring us closer.

PETER
And how is it working?

CATHERINE
May I share this passage from
Diderot? Orlo found it for me.

PETER
Orlo is a faggot. A smart one, and
handy for the thinking part of
running the country, and I do not
care who fucks who as long as one
fucks. Though I suspect he does not
even do that. What sort of life is
that?

Beat.
 44.

PETER (CONT’D)
Just musing.

CATHERINE
So I shall read. ‘Man will never be
free until the last king has been
strangled with the entrails of the
last priest’.

Beat. She meets his gaze. He smiles.

PETER
Love it.
Bye.
Zeus.

The dog is up. They head for the door.

He stops suddenly.

PETER (CONT’D)
Are you pregnant?

CATHERINE
No.

PETER
Annoying.

He exits. Catherine sits. Puts the book down on the table.

CATHERINE
(quietly)
I hate you.

INT HALLWAY

Catherine walks out into the hallway.

Men are bare chested, wrestling, throwing tomatoes at each

other, drunk.

Catherine sighs.

She exits through a door onto.

EXT A COURTYARD

The quiet of the green lawn.

 45.

Sunshine. The beauty of nature takes hold. She calms.

Lies on the grass. Sun on her face. Closes her eyes.

A beat.

A shadow falls over her.

Catherine opens her eyes. The fat figure of General

Velementov is standing, staring at her.

VELEMENTOV
Empress.

CATHERINE
General.

VELEMENTOV
I was... I saw you in the sun and I
worried for your alabaster skin. I
felt if I positioned myself at
ninety degrees my torso would
provide shade cover. I trust my
interruption is forgivable.

CATHERINE
I... am happy in the sun. I imagine
myself floating in the sky far from
here, but I appreciate your
thoughtfulness. How goes the war?

VELEMENTOV
Ups and downs. Some conjecture on
the best road forward. I fear
paralysis but we trust in the
Emperor’s wisdom.

CATHERINE
Is that wise?

VELEMENTOV
I...

CATHERINE
My father was in the military and
said that to some war is merely a
chess game and to others a horror
of responsibility for the blood of
men. Where do you fall on this?
 46.

VELEMENTOV
You win the chess game, you win
people’s lives. That is how I see
it. Good day. You... look lovely...
again.

He wanders away, dabbing at his sweating forehead.

Marial comes out.

MARIAL
Empress. The party.

Catherine nods.

EXT THE GARDEN

The rolling lawns of the palace grounds. Trays with shooters

of Borscht, vodka and legs of roast duck line the linen
covered tables. Peter and the court eat and drink.

About thirty yards away across the lawn, Catherine’s bear, on

a long chain, wanders around.

A group of women surround Catherine, all wearing their wigs

in a hat-like fashion.

SVENSKY
I would like to have a mink that is
colored puce.

They all nod in agreement. Catherine is bored to tears.

PUTIN
Marvellous idea.

Catherine can’t bear it. Suddenly lashes out.

CATHERINE
Your wig Madame Svensky! It’s not
supposed to be like that.
They are meant to be fitted to your
heads. They are not hats!

There’s a silence. The women are mortified.

A sudden burst of action from near them.

ARISTOCRAT
Fool!
 47.

A drunk aristocrat pushes a male servant to the ground and

boots him in the face repeatedly.

Catherine is stunned. It is over as fast as it happened.

The crowd turn back to their drinks and resume chattering

like nothing happened. The servant, bloody faced, lies on the
ground. Orlo goes and helps him up. Other servants come and
help him away.

Orlo sees the look on Catherine’s face.

ORLO
Shall we walk, Empress?

Catherine stares at him. Her eyes on his. She nods. They walk
down towards the bear.

Over with the men, Peter has a rifle. He is surrounded by a

group of guys. One in particular is pointing to something on
the gun.

PETER
So, explain it to me.

GUY
It is called a sight. Your eye
falls between the two marks, and
your target lines up with it.

PETER
I have perfect aim though.

GUY
But for our soldiers, or less
perfect hunters than your royal
self. And accurate up to fifty
yards.

PETER
No! I don’t believe you.

Down by the bear. Catherine feeds her bear an apple with

Orlo.

ORLO
I just read Voltaire’s pamphlet on
the universal freedom of men.
 48.

CATHERINE
Oh my God! You must let me read it
and we shall discuss.

A gunshot rings out. The bear drops dead beside them.

From the assembled group above them on the lawn there is much
hilarity and applause.

Orlo and Catherine stare at the bear in horror.

ORLO
Oh God.

Catherine strides up the hill toward the laughing crowd.

Peter sees her coming.

PETER
Oh dear, someone’s cross.

The crowd titters. Catherine heads through the crowd toward

him, eyes blazing.

PETER (CONT’D)
Good shot, huh?

Catherine doesn’t stop. She just slaps him hard as she can
across the face, pushes past him and away. Leaving everyone
stunned.

She walks on.

Peter is ashamed and embarrassed.

Two things he doesn’t like to be.

INT HALLWAY

Catherine walks along the hallway, her face set and blank.
She enters

INT LIBRARY

The library. Among the empty racks Catherine finds a nook,

begins crying. Sits. Her back against the wall.
 49.

The door opens and she sees Peter’s boots through the space
in the racks. Peter walks over, sits in a chair on the
opposite wall. Slumps down.

They stare at each other a beat.

PETER
We’ve got problems, haven’t we?

Catherine does not respond.

PETER (CONT'D)
You are the only person who has not
loved me. It is inconceivable to me
and says nothing good about you.

CATHERINE
If you had treated me with an ounce
of kindness I was ready with a
heart full of love.

PETER
Um... You look really pretty.

CATHERINE
My heart is breaking. I miss home.
I am lonely for family, friends,
fun ideas, strawberries.

PETER
And I need my cock sucked.

CATHERINE
What?

PETER
Well, we’re sharing, right? Our
needs.

CATHERINE
Let me go home, please.

PETER
Not going to happen. Strawberries
I’ll work on. Friends, the women at
court.

CATHERINE
Gossiping morons obsessed with the
next affair or dalliance.
 50.

PETER
You’re so judgemental. You might
want to look at that. You know your
problem? You have no idea how lucky
you are. There are soldiers dying.

CATHERINE
Because of you.

PETER
Serfs beaten daily.

CATHERINE
You could stop that!

She gets up and goes to him.

CATHERINE (CONT'D)
If you would just read these books
with me. These ideas that are
sweeping Europe! Justice, humanity,
every man a valued soul. We could
rule Russia in a different manner-

PETER
I rule! You serve!
Is it that difficult to
understand?! What happened to that
happy little girl who gave me a
twig?

CATHERINE
She died.

PETER
Seems overly dramatic.
I am mostly kind to you. Do I beat
you?

CATHERINE
I suffer the blows of your disdain
daily.

PETER
But it’s not the same as actual
blows is it?

CATHERINE
I -
 51.

PETER
Don’t know?

He stands and hits her hard in the stomach.

PETER (CONT’D)
Compare and get back to me.

Catherine drops to the floor and sucks in breath.

Peter goes and stands by the fireplace. He stares up at the

portrait of his parents standing with eighteen dogs.

PETER (CONT’D)
Mother and father never acted like
this. My mother was a saint. I’m
glad she’s not alive to see this.
Not that I’m glad she’s dead. I’m
not. Never. Sometimes... Once.

Catherine, recovered, is still on the ground. She stares at

him with sheer hate.

PETER (CONT'D)
Don’t look at me like that. You’re
a disappointment to me too. Still,
there must be pleasure between a
man and wife.

He starts to unbutton his pants.

CATHERINE
No.

PETER
I don’t need a wife with a
poisonous mouth and a dry cunny. I
will shut you up at my pleasure and
you will be happy. You will die
here in content old age having
given me hours of pleasure and
service and many heirs. Boys
preferable.

Beat. Catherine makes no moves.

PETER (CONT’D)
You will come here or I will come
there.
I do have a temper and some rage.
(MORE)
 52.

PETER (CONT’D)
You cannot cross me, especially not
in front of others, or you will
pay. Endlessly. And you will never
win. You will just be in pain.

He strides toward her. She closes her eyes.

INT CATHERINE’S ORCHARD

Two long black boots dangle below a branch, belonging to

Catherine who sits in a tree staring out at the sky beyond
the walled garden.

Marial stands below her.

MARIAL
Are you alright Empress?

CATHERINE
I would be better if I had wings.

MARIAL
Might I suggest Vodka instead.

Catherine drops to the ground.

CATHERINE
I am a fool Marial. A great love.
I looked at myself in the mirror
and laughed in my own stupid face
this morning.

She takes a shot and drinks.

CATHERINE (CONT’D)
Do you want one?

MARIAL
I have resolved to know my place.

CATHERINE
I have resolved not to. I need you
to help me leave this place.

MARIAL
I would be signing my own death
warrant. I’m sorry.

CATHERINE
A carriage is all I need.
 53.

MARIAL
I cannot. I’m sorry.

Marial takes her tray and leaves.

EXT HALLWAY

Marial walks. The Archbishop is suddenly walking beside her.

ARCHBISHOP
Sorry to startle you.

MARIAL
You didn’t. You reek of innocence,
I smelt you five minutes ago.

He smiles.

ARCHBISHOP
How is she?

MARIAL
Unhappy.

ARCHBISHOP
Hmmm.

MARIAL
She wants to leave.

He nods.

He eyes the edge of a scar that is visible on her back.

ARCHBISHOP
And how are you?

He lifts her ponytail up to reveal more.

MARIAL
Learning my place.

ARCHBISHOP
I doubt that will ever happen.
 54.

INT CATHERINE’S APARTMENT

A trunk. ‘Austria’ written on it. Marial stands and nods to

two men, who pick it up and carry it out.

INT TRUNK

Curled inside, Catherine, with bread, cheese and water. She

tries to remain steady as they carry it.

EXT CARRIAGE

The trunk is loaded onto the carriage.

It drives out of the courtyard and down a path.

INT TRUNK

Catherine smiles.

Then feels the carriage stop. A clanking sound.

Then a splashing noise.

EXT THE LAKE

Peter and some of his men stand looking at the trunk as it

bobs in the middle of the lake.

INT THE TRUNK

Catherine, alarmed as water starts pouring into the trunk.

She starts to panic, trying to kick the trunk open.

EXT THE LAKE

Peter watches as the trunk disappears below the surface of

the water.

He nods to two men who start to pull on a chain lying on the

grass. It is attached to the trunk, which is pulled up and
out of the water and up and onto the grass.

INT THE TRUNK

A drenched, spluttering Catherine blinks into the light as

the lid lifts. Sees Peter and his men.
 55.

PETER
Escort the Empress back.

INT PETER’S APARTMENTS

Peter and Gregor play handball against a wall inside. The

Archbishop enters.

PETER
What the fuck’s going on Archie?
You said she was the one! You said
you’d seen it. You said she would
make me happy!

ARCHBISHOP
I-

PETER
Do I look happy?!

ARCHBISHOP
I-

PETER
Gregor! My face.

GREGOR
Discontented at the minimum.

PETER
At the fucking minimum! Remind me
of this vision?

GREGOR
He saw her name drawn in the sand
on a beach where Jesus was walking.

ARCHBISHOP
All marriages take time to-

PETER
My parents didn’t! And mine should
not! You need to fix her! I will
not be...

GREGOR
Ugly with discontent.

PETER
Exactly!
 56.

INT CHAPEL

Archbishop Samsa sits in a front pew, staring at the bling on

the altar. Catherine walks slowly up the aisle, taking it in.

She sits at the end of the pew.

ARCHBISHOP
Ah my dear child. Is it not
beautiful?

CATHERINE
Yes.

ARCHBISHOP
I’ll tell you a secret. If you look
closely that icon is rusting, that
one is bent at the side. Nothing of
course is perfect. This is the
human lot, we do nothing but strive
for perfection and fall short.

CATHERINE
You refer metaphorically to the
marriage.

He looks at her.

ARCHBISHOP
I liked you the moment I-

CATHERINE
Put your fingers inside me?

ARCHBISHOP
As distressing for me as it was
you.

CATHERINE
I doubt that.

ARCHBISHOP
There is a way of things here, and
a way of things with Peter.

CATHERINE
I have tried.
 57.

ARCHBISHOP
We think our hearts are spent, but
God refills them if we can but find
the...

CATHERINE
Ladle?

ARCHBISHOP
Indeed.

CATHERINE
You would like me to try.

ARCHBISHOP
I would like you to accept the
limitations.

CATHERINE
Why?

ARCHBISHOP
An unhappy Emperor makes rash
decisions that affect millions.
This is bigger than you and your
happiness. Your father has already
run through his initial payment
from us and been back for more. We
have furnished him with this, but
that tap can be turned off.

He snaps his fingers.

ARCHBISHOP (CONT’D)
So your unhappiness is a ripple,
hurting many.

CATHERINE
I cannot be happy here.

ARCHBISHOP
I am not asking you that. I am
asking you to pretend. Lest he
drown you in the lake on a drunken
whim.

She looks at him. He takes his hand and puts it over the
candling burning at the end of the pew.
 58.

ARCHBISHOP (CONT’D)
People underestimate the joy in
suffering. Walk through the pain
and on the other side...

She stares as his flesh burns. He smiles.

ARCHBISHOP (CONT’D)
Joy and a purity.
And I do love the smell.

He closes his eyes and inhales deeply.

INT CATHERINE’S QUARTERS

A large, silver knife lies on the dressing table. Catherine

slowly unbuttons her cuffs and slides her sleeves up to
reveal blue veins in her translucent wrists.

She picks up the knife and holds it against her wrist, her
eyes filled with pain.

Marial and the boy, Vlad, enter and see her. The boy stops,
startled. Marial puts a book on the table.

MARIAL
From Count Orlo.

She starts arranging cushions.

MARIAL (CONT’D)
Would you like cake with your
knife, Empress?

CATHERINE
You know my mind, Marial. Do not
try to stop me. Just leave me be.

MARIAL
I would not presume to speak, for
the Empress is so smart and book
readingly that I am sure her
judgement is sound.

CATHERINE
I am resolved.

MARIAL
Vlad will get a bucket for the
blood.
 59.

Vlad nods and exits at a clip, leaving Catherine paused.

CATHERINE
There is no other way. I am a
prisoner here.

MARIAL
Indeed.

CATHERINE
Married to an idiot.

MARIAL
It has never happened to a woman
before.

CATHERINE
Yes, but to an Emperor! A madman!

MARIAL
He is one of a kind it is true.

CATHERINE
I am doomed.

Vlad brings the bucket back in, goes to Catherine and

disconcertingly positions it under her wrist.

MARIAL
Towels too Vlad. There may be some
overflow.

He nods and runs out.

CATHERINE
What am I to do? Live at someone
else’s whim?!

MARIAL
God forbid, Empress.

CATHERINE
Ever since I was a child I felt
like greatness was in store for me.
A great life, I felt. Like God
himself had spat me forth to land
on this earth and in some way
transform it. That I was here for a
reason, a purpose.
 60.

MARIAL
Why did he make you a woman then?

CATHERINE
For comedy, I guess.
That idea now feels like some
delusion, when I am trapped here.
And yet I felt it Marial, in my
being. Deep in my bones.

Vlad comes back in with towels and starts arranging them

around Catherine’s feet.

Catherine stares at the towels surrounding her feet and the

bucket.

MARIAL
It is not a lineage.

CATHERINE
What?

MARIAL
Russia. It does not go to an heir
if there is not one. If the Emperor
dies, it goes to the Empress.

CATHERINE
What do you mean?

MARIAL
Just giving you a lesson in how
things work here. You are also not
the only one unhappy. There are men
here, unhappy, looking for a
leader.

CATHERINE
Is there one?

MARIAL
I hope I am looking at her.

CATHERINE
Me, I am... a foolish child.
 61.

MARIAL
What if you are not? What if your
vision of the bear and a great
love, your heart filled and
glowing... What if that great love
was Russia itself, not Peter?

CATHERINE
You just want revenge for what has
befallen your family.

MARIAL
I ascribe no purity to my
motivations.
I will get coins to place on your
eyes.

Marial goes.

Catherine, still holding the knife, closes her eyes.

F/back

EXT FOREST

The moment Catherine stepped from the carriage in Russia. The

beauty and enormity of the forest, the lake, kissing the
ground. A bolt of recognition.

CUT BACK

Catherine’s eyes open. Marial enters the room. Catherine

looks at her. Smiles.

Catherine drops the knife in the bucket.

THE END