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Week 6 Readings Summary

1. Supportive communication is problem-oriented rather than person-oriented, and aims to enhance relationships between communicating parties through accurate message delivery. 2. It is based on congruence where what is communicated verbally and non-verbally matches what is being thought and felt, rather than incongruence which can create mixed messages. 3. Supportive communication is descriptive rather than evaluative by avoiding judgments and labels, and validates individuals rather than invalidating them through communication that conveys superiority, rigidity or indifference.

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68 views4 pages

Week 6 Readings Summary

1. Supportive communication is problem-oriented rather than person-oriented, and aims to enhance relationships between communicating parties through accurate message delivery. 2. It is based on congruence where what is communicated verbally and non-verbally matches what is being thought and felt, rather than incongruence which can create mixed messages. 3. Supportive communication is descriptive rather than evaluative by avoiding judgments and labels, and validates individuals rather than invalidating them through communication that conveys superiority, rigidity or indifference.

Uploaded by

Yashasvi Sharma
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© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Week 6 Readings Summary

Textbook Chapter 5 Communicating Supportively


When accuracy is the primary consideration, attempts to improve communication generally
centre on improving the mechanics: transmitters and receivers, encoding and decoding,
sources and destinations, and noise. When communication is inhibited, distorted or
dysfunctional, we frequently have an even more complex, interpersonal situation on our
hands. People still communicate very much as they please—often in abrasive, insensitive
and unproductive ways. And more often than not, it is the interpersonal aspect of
communication that stands in the way of effective message delivery rather than the inability
to deliver accurate information (Golen 1990).

Q What is supportive communication?


Not only is a message delivered accurately when supportive communication is used, but the
relationship between the two communicating parties is supported, even enhanced, by the
interchange. However, the goal of supportive communication isn’t merely to be liked by
other people or to be judged a nice person. Nor is it used merely to produce social
acceptance. Positive interpersonal relationships have practical, instrumental value in
organisations. Researchers have found, for example, that organisations fostering these kinds
of relationships enjoy higher productivity, faster problem solving, higher-quality outputs and
fewer conflicts, while individuals benefit from greater career success and higher earnings
(Bishop 2006; Chang 2003; Holt & Jones 2005; Jay 2003; Levinson 2003; Tomer 2003).
Supportive communication, therefore, isn’t just a “nice person technique” but a proven
competitive advantage for both individuals and organisations. Moreover, delivering
outstanding customer service is almost impossible without supportive communication.
Customer complaints and misunderstandings frequently require supportive communication
skills to resolve. Not only must managers be competent in using this kind of communication;
they must help their employees to develop this competency as well.

Relationship skills and interpersonal communication skills form part of a type of emotional
intelligence that has been shown to be:

… significantly more important than cognitive ability and technical expertise combined. In
fact, some studies indicate that EQ is more than twice as important as standard IQ abilities.
Further, evidence increasingly shows that the higher one goes in an organisation, the more
important EQ can be. For those in leadership positions, emotional intelligence skills account
for close to 90 per cent of what distinguishes outstanding leaders from those judged as
average. (Kemper 1999: 15)

Q Why coaching and counselling is challenging??


What makes coaching and counselling so challenging is the risk of offending or alienating
others, or of coaching when counselling is necessary, and vice versa. This can happen easily
if managers ignore the feelings and reactions of employees and take a directive, hard-nosed,
‘shape-up-or-ship-out’ approach to correcting behaviour or attitudes, when what is needed
is listening and helping people to reach their own conclusions. Other managers may soft-
pedal, avoiding confrontations for fear of hurting feelings and destroying relationships. They
adopt the ‘don’t worry, be happy’ approach, when what is needed is a realistic assessment
of skills and abilities and some appropriate information and skills development. The
principles described in this chapter not only facilitate accurate message delivery in sensitive
situations, but also their effective use can produce higher levels of motivation, increased
productivity and better interpersonal relationships.

1. Supportive Communication is problem orientated, not person orientated


Page number 242

2. Supportive communication is based on congruence, not incongruence


For many years, research has consistently illustrated that the best interpersonal
communications, and the best interpersonal relationships, are based on congruence. In
other words, when what is communicated, verbally and non-verbally, matches exactly what
the individual is thinking and feeling, communication and relations work better (Dyer 1972;
Hyman 1989; Knapp & Vangelisti 1996; Rogers 1961; Schnake et al. 1990).

Different types of incongruence


Two kinds of incongruence are possible. One is a mismatch between what we are
experiencing and what we are aware of. For example, we may not even be aware that we
are experiencing anger towards another person, even though the anger is present.
Therapists must frequently help individuals to reach greater congruence between
experience and awareness. A second kind of incongruence, and the one more closely related
to supportive communication, is a mismatch between what we feel and what we
communicate. For example, we may be aware of the fact that we feel angry, but we do not
explicitly express the feeling. This can create a ‘mixed message’, as the words are saying one
thing but our tone and non-verbal communication are shouting another.

3. Supportive communication is descriptive, not evaluative


When people use evaluative communication, they make a judgment or place a label on other
individuals or on their behaviour: ‘You are bad’, ‘You are doing it wrong’, ‘You are incompetent’. This
evaluation generally makes the other person feel under attack and the response is defensive.
Probable responses are: ‘No, I’m not bad’, ‘I’m not doing it wrong’ or ‘I am as competent as you are’.
Arguments, bad feelings and a weakening of the interpersonal relationship result.

Important steps are mentioned for descriptive communication (evaluation) page 244

4. Supportive Communication validates, rather than invalidates, individuals


Communication that is invalidating arouses negative feelings about self-worth, identity and
relatedness to others. It denies the presence, uniqueness and importance of other individuals.
Especially destructive are communications that invalidate people by conveying superiority, rigidity or
indifference (Cupach & Spitzberg 1994).

Important on superiority
Communication that is superiority-oriented gives the impression that the communicator is informed
while others are ignorant, adequate while others are inadequate, competent while others are
incompetent, or powerful while others are impotent. It creates a barrier between the communicator
and those to whom the message is sent. Superiority-oriented communication can take the form of
put-downs, in which others are made to look bad so that the communicator looks good. Or it can
take the form of ‘one-upmanship’, where communicators try to elevate themselves in the esteem of
others. One common form of superiorityoriented communication is the use of jargon, acronyms or
words in such a way as to exclude others or to create barriers in a relationship.

Validation communication, on the other hand, helps people feel recognised, understood, accepted
and valued, it has four attributes

1. It is egalitarian
2. It is flexible
3. It is two-way
4. It is based on agreement

Book mentioned these 4 points in details on page number 247

5. Supportive communication is specific (useful), not global (not useful)


in book page number 248

6. Supportive communication is conjunctive, not disjunctive


Conjunctive communication is joined to previous messages in some way. It flows smoothly.
Disjunctive communication is disconnected from what was stated before.

Q in what ways can a communication appear as disjunctive?


Highlighted in book on page number 249

7. Supportive communication is owned, not disowned


Highlighted on page number 251

8. Supportive communication requires listening, not one-way message delivery


Highlighted on page number 251

The importance of listening


Page number 252

Important summary
Page number 259

The most important barriers to effective communication in organisations are interpersonal.


Much progress has been made in the last two decades in improving the accuracy of message
delivery in organisations. Communication problems, however, still persist between
managers and their employees and peers. A major reason for these problems is that the
kind of communication used frequently does not support a positive interpersonal
relationship. Memos and email, for example, are efficient. However, instead of building
rapport and trust between the individuals communicating—because of factors such as a lack
of social cues, de-individuation and depersonalisation—memos and email can sometimes
engender distrust, hostility, defensiveness, and feelings of incompetence and low
selfesteem (Spears & Lea 1992). Hugh Mackay (1993: 264) reached a similar conclusion:
The communication Model by Schulz von Thun
The communication square is the most familiar, and by now the most widespread, model by
the author. The four levels of communication are not just significant for private
companionship, but especially for the vocational domain, where the professional and
human are constantly interlocking.

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