Lesson 3

 Stress Management

Objectives:
At the end of the lesson you would be able to:
1. Understand what stress is and what causes it
2. Understand the importance of managing stress
3. Identify possible causes of stress in your life and ways to manage them

Stress Management
Sometimes, it feels like you are hopeless about stress. It sometimes feels like you can
do nothing about stress at home or at school. However, even if oftentimes it feels this
way, there are ways or steps you can do to ease the pressures and gain back the control.

Why is stress management important?

If you are living with high levels of stress, you are risking your health and your entire
wellbeing. Stress can destroy your emotional stability, as well as your physical health.
It reduces your ability to think clearly, function effectively, and stops you from enjoying
life. It seems like there is nothing you can do about it. The exams keep coming, the
bills won’t stop coming every month, and school and family responsibilities will always
demand a lot of your time and energy. But there is a lot more you can do to control
stress than you think.
Effective stress management helps you break the hold that stress has on your life so
that you can be happier, healthier, and more productive. The end goal is a balanced
life, with time for work or school, relationships with family and friends, relaxation, and
of course, fun. But stress management is not the same for everyone. Everyone deals
with stress differently. That is why it is important to experiment and find out what
works best for you.

Here are some techniques that can help you fight stress.
1. Identify the sources of stress in your life. It all starts with knowing what causes
the stress. This isn’t as simple as it seems though. While it is easy to identify
major stressors such as shifting courses, moving to a different boarding house,
or going through a breakup, pinpointing sources of chronic or recurring stress can
be more complicated. It’s very commonplace to overlook how your own thoughts,
feelings and behaviour contribute to everyday stress levels. Sure, you may know
that you are constantly worried about your school deadlines, but maybe it’s your
bad habits, procrastination or reluctance to stay away from distractions that is
causing the stress.

2. Practice the 4 A’s of stress management. While stress is an automatic response

from our brain, some stressors arise at predictable times. For instance, the
 dreaded commute to school, a meeting with your thesis adviser, or family
gatherings. When handling these predictable stressors, you can either change
the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose in
any given scenario, it’s helpful to think of the four A’s: avoid, alter, adapt, or
accept.

Avoid:
Learn how to say no. Know your limits and stick to them. Whether you are in your
personal or professional life, accepting or taking on more than you can handle will
surely give you added stress. Learn to identify which responsibilities are best for you to
accept and say no to things that can be done effectively by others as well so that you
will not be overburdened.

Avoid people who stress you out. If someone consistently causes stress in your life, limit
the amount of time you spend with that person, or end the relationship.

Take control of your environment. If the news makes you anxious, turn off the TV. If
traffic makes you tense, listen to music, or read a book.

Review your to-do-list. Analyze schedules, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you have
too much on your plate, remove things that are not really necessary or put them at the
bottom of the list.

Alter:
If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter or change it. Often, this involves
changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

Express your feelings instead of keeping them inside. If something or someone is

bothering you, be more assertive and communicate your concerns respectfully. For
example, if you have an exam to study for, and your roommate keeps on chatting with
you, say up front that you only have a few minutes to talk. If you don’t voice your
feelings or concerns, resentment will build and the stress levels will rise.

Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behaviour, be willing
to do the same. If you are both willing to adjust and bend a little, you will have a better
chance of understanding each other.

Create a balanced schedule. All work and no play as we all know, is not a good idea.
Try to find a balance between work or school and family life, social life and personal
hobbies, and relaxation.
Adapt:
If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations
and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

Change perspectives. Try to view the stressful situation from a more positive side.
Rather than getting mad at a traffic jam, take that opportunity to pause, listen to your
favorite music, or read a book.

Look at the big picture. Ask yourself how important this situation will be in the long
run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting anxious over? If the
answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.

Adjust your standards. Trying to be perfect at anything is a sure source of avoidable

stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set realistic goals
for yourself and others. Learn to be okay with “good enough.”

Practice gratitude. When stress is weighing heavily on you, take a moment to reflect
on all the things you are grateful about. This strategy can help keep things in a better
perspective.

Accept:
Learn to accept the things you can’t change. Some sources of stress are unavoidable.
You can’t prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, or a serious
illness or national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept
things as they are. It may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than bumping your
head against a situation you can’t change.

Don’t control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control, particularly
the behaviour of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things
you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.

Look for the upside. When facing challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for
personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect
on them and learn from your mistakes.

Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people
make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negativity by
forgiving and moving on.

Share. Expressing what you are going through can help you find release, even if there
is nothing you can do to change the situation. Talk to a trusted friend or make an
appointment with a professional.
 3. Get moving. When you are stressed, the last thing you probably feel like doing
is getting up and going for an exercise. But physical activity is a huge stress
reliever – and you don’t have to be an athlete or spend hours in a gym to
experience the benefits. Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good,
and it can also serve as a valuable distraction from your daily worries.

While you’ll get the most benefit from regularly exercising for 30 minutes or more, it’s
okay to take it slow and build up your fitness over time. Even very small activities can
add up over the course of a day. The first step is to get up and move. Here are some
easy ways to add exercise into your daily schedule:
a. Take your dog for a walk
b. Put on some music and dance
c. Walk or ride a bike to the market or school
d. Use stairs instead of the escalator or elevator
e. Play sports

4. Connect with others. There is nothing more calming than spending quality time
with another human being who makes you feel safe and understood. Human
interaction triggers a cascade of hormones that counteract the body’s “fight-or-
flight” response. It is nature’s stress reliever. So make it a point to connect
regularly with family and friends.

5. Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When
you’re stretched out too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and
focused. You will be tempted to avoid or cut back on all the healthy things you
should be doing to keep stress in check like interacting with others or getting
enough sleep.

6. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. In addition to regular exercise, there are other

healthy lifestyle choices than can increase your resistance to stress.

a. Eat a healthy diet. If your body is well nourished, you will be better
prepared to deal with stress. Therefore, be mindful of what you eat. Start
your day right with a healthy breakfast and keep your energy up and your
mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
b. Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary boost caffeine and sugar
provide often result in a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the
amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolates, and sugar snacks in your diet,
you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.
c. Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind as well as your body.
Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think
irrationally.

7. Learn to relieve stress in the moment. When you are stressed by your morning
commute, or stuck on a difficult homework, you need a way to manage your
stress levels right in that moment.
The fastest way to reduce stress is by taking a deep breath and using your senses. By
viewing a favorite photo, smelling a specific scent, listening to your favorite song,
chewing your favorite gum, hugging a pet, for example, you can quickly relax and focus
yourself. Of course, not everyone responds to each sensory experience in the same way.
The key is to experiment and discover what’s best for you.