GLOBAL

EDITION

Business
This Global Edition has been edited to include enhancements making it
more relevant to students outside the United States. The editorial team
at Pearson has worked closely with educators around the globe
Communication Today
TWELFTH EDITION

• Increased emphasis on global markets with new Ethic Courtland L. Bovée • John V. Thill
Detective and Communication Miscues box features as well as new

• Increased coverage of social media and infographics.

• Chapter 9 has been updated with a unique section on
producing business videos.

The field’s leading text for more than two decades,

continues to provide the cutting-edge coverage that
students can count on to prepare them for real business practice. This
Global Edition provides real-world training for the business world of
today and tomorrow, along with relevant material for students in Europe,

Thill
This is a special edition of an established title widely
used by colleges and universities throughout the world.
Pearson published this exclusive edition for the benefit
of students outside the United States and Canada. If you
purchased this book within the United States or Canada
you should be aware that it has been imported without
the approval of the Publisher or Author.
206 PART 2 Applying the Three-Step Writing Process

be easy for you, but that might not be the best approach for a given audience. As with cost, balance the
time factor with your needs and the needs of your audience. Finally, consider security and privacy issues
before distributing documents that contain sensitive or confidential information. Your company may
have restrictions on the type of information that can be distributed through various media and channels.

KEY TERMS
descriptive headings Headings that simply sans serif typefaces Typefaces whose letters boldface, italic, underlining, color, and
identify a topic lack serifs: example other highlighting and decorative styles
heading A brief title that tells readers about serif typefaces Typefaces with small crosslines typeface The physical design of letters, num-
the content of the section that follows (called serifs) at the ends of letter strokes: bers, and other text characters (font and
informative headings Headings that guide example typeface are often used interchangeably,
readers to think in a certain way about the subheadings Titles that are subordinate to although strictly speaking, a font is a set of
topic headings, indicating subsections with a characters in a given typeface)
multimedia document Electronic document major section white space Space (of any color) in a docu-
that contains a combination of text, graph- type style Any modification that lends ment or screen that doesn’t contain any
ics, photographs, audio, animation, video, contrast or emphasis to type, including text or artwork
and interactivity

CHECKLIST ✓
Revising Business Messages
A. Evaluate content, organization, style, C. Edit for clarity. ● Grammatical errors
and tone. ● Break up overly long sentences and ● Punctuation mistakes
● Make sure the information is accurate, rewrite hedging sentences. B. Look for missing elements.
relevant, and sufficient. ● Impose parallelism to simplify reading. ● Missing text sections

● Check that all necessary points appear ● Correct dangling modifiers. ● Missing exhibits (drawings, tables,

in logical order. ● Reword long noun sequences and re- photographs, charts, graphs, online
● Verify that you present enough support place camouflaged verbs. images, and so on)
to make the main idea convincing and ● Clarify sentence structure and awk- ● Missing source notes, copyright no-

compelling. ward references. tices, or other reference items

● Be sure the beginning and ending of D. Edit for conciseness. C. Look for design, formatting, and
the message are effective. ● Delete unnecessary words and phrases. programming mistakes.
● Make sure you’ve achieved the right ● Shorten long words and phrases. ● Incorrect or inconsistent font

tone for the audience and the situation. ● Eliminate redundancies. selections
B. Review for readability. ● Rewrite sentences that start with “It is” ● Problems with column sizing, spacing,

● Consider using a readability index or “There are.” and alignment

but be sure to interpret the answer ● Incorrect margins

carefully. ● Incorrect special characters

● Use a mix of short, medium, and long ● Clumsy line and page breaks

sentences.
CHECKLIST ✓ ● Problems with page numbers

● Keep paragraphs short.

Proofing Business Messages ● Problems with page headers and footers

● Use bulleted and numbered lists to A. Look for writing errors. ● Lack of adherence to company standards

emphasize key points. ● Typographical mistakes ● Inactive or incorrect links

● Make the document easy to skim with ● Misspelled words ● Missing files

headings and subheadings.

206
 CH AP T E R 6 Completing Business Messages 207

COMMUNICATION CHALLENGES AT Jefferson Rabb Web Design

Jefferson Rabb’s web business is doing so well that he has hired bio so that it will fit on a book referral website that limits author
you to help with a variety of writing and design tasks. Use what bios to 200 words.
you’ve learned in this chapter about revising messages and TEAM CHALLENGE: With a team of classmates assigned
designing for readability. by your instructor, visit three of the book websites on which
INDIVIDUAL CHALLENGE: The writer Alexander McCall Smith, Rabb has worked. You can find links from his website at www
one of Rabb’s clients, is so prolific that summarizing his career .jeffersonrabb.com. Evaluate and compare the sites’ readability
is a challenge—and being a best-selling novelist is only based on the advice given in the chapter regarding white space,
one aspect of his varied life’s work. Review his biography at margins, typefaces, and type styles. Prepare a class presentation
www.randomhouse.com/features/mccallsmith (click “About of your analysis.
the Author”), which currently runs about 650 words. Rewrite the

As an organization, the North American Personal Motorsports

Test Your Knowledge
Marketing Association has committed ourselves to help-
To review chapter content related to each question, refer to the ing our members—a diverse group comprising of dealers of
indicated Learning Objective. motorcycles, all-terrain vehicles, Snowmobiles, and personal
1. What are the three main tasks involved in revising a business watercraft—achieve their business objectives. Consequently,
message? [LO-1] our organization, which usually goes under the initials
2. What are your two primary responsibilities when editing or NAPMMA, has the following aims, goals, and objectives.
revising the work of another writer? [LO-1] Firstly, we endeavor to aid or assist our members in reaching
3. What are the relative advantages of short, medium, and long their business objectives. Second, NAPMMA communicates
sentences? [LO-2] (“lobbying” in slang terms) with local, state, and national
4. What functions do headings serve? [LO-2] governmental agencies and leaders on issues of importance
5. What are some ways you can make a document more to our members. And lastly, we educate the motorsports
concise? [LO-3] public, that being current motorsports vehicle owners, and
6. What are hedging sentences, and why should they be avoided prospective owners of said vehicles, on the safe and enjoyable
unless truly necessary? [LO-4] operation of they’re vehicles.
7. How do readers benefit from white space? [LO-4]
8. Why is proofreading an important part of the writing
Message for Analysis 6.B: Designing for Readability [LO-4]
process? [LO-5]
9. What perceptual tricks can you use to improve your chances To access this message, visit http://real-timeupdates.com/bct12,
of spotting errors during proofreading? [LO-5] click on Student Assignments, select Chapter 6, and then select
10. What factors should you consider when choosing a distri- Message 6.B. Download and open the Microsoft Word docu-
bution method for your messages (other than for systems ment. Using the various page, paragraph, and font formatting
where you don’t have a choice)? [LO-6] options available in your word processor, modify the formatting
of the document so that its visual tone matches the tone of the
message.
Apply Your Knowledge
To review chapter content related to each question, refer to the Message for Analysis 6.C: Evaluating the Work
indicated Learning Objective. of Another Writer [LO-1]
1. How does A.S. Watson’s Group decision to issue a set of To access this message, visit http://real-timeupdates.com/bct12,
guidelines on the identification and labeling of oilfish and cod click on Student Assignments, select Chapter 6, and then select
(see “Inaccurate Food Labels Cost Consumers’ Confidence” Message 6.C. Download and open the Microsoft Word docu-
on page 192) fit the definition of ethical communication from ment. Using your knowledge of effective writing and the tips on
Chapter 1? [LO-3] page 187 for evaluating the work of other writers, evaluate this
2. Why should you limit the number of typefaces and type message. After you set Microsoft Word to track changes, make
styles in most business documents? [LO-4] any necessary corrections. Insert comments, as needed, to explain
3. How can you demonstrate good business sense in the choices your changes to the author.
you make regarding message distribution? [LO-6]

Exercises
Practice Your Skills
Active links for all websites in this chapter can be found on
Message for Analysis 6.A: Revising to Improve MyBCommLab; see your User Guide for instructions on access-
Readability [LO-2] ing the content for this chapter. Each activity is labeled accord-
Analyze the strengths and weaknesses of this message, then revise ing to the primary skill or skills you will need to use. To review
it so that it follows the guidelines in Chapters 4 through 6: relevant chapter content, you can refer to the indicated Learning
208 PART 2 Applying the Three-Step Writing Process

Objective. In some instances, supporting information will be c. Unfortunately, no gadget will produce excellent writing,
found in another chapter, as indicated. but using a yardstick like the Fog Index gives us some
guideposts to follow for making writing easier to read
1. Evaluating the Work of Other Writers [LO-1] Find a blog
because its two factors remind us to use short sentences
post (at least three paragraphs long) on any business-related
and simple words.
topic. Evaluate it using the 10 questionson page 187. Email
your analysis to your instructor, along with a permalink d. Know the flexibility of the written word and its power
(a permanent link to this specific post, rather than to the to convey an idea, and know how to make your words
blog overall) to the blog post. behave so that your readers will understand.
e. Words mean different things to different people, and a
2. Revising for Readability (Sentence and Paragraph Length)
word such as block may mean city block, butcher block,
[LO-2] Rewrite the following paragraph to vary the length
engine block, auction block, or several other things.
of the sentences and to shorten the paragraph so it looks
more inviting to readers: 5. Editing for Conciseness (Unnecessary Words) [LO-3]
Cross out unnecessary words in the following phrases:
The Consumer Council reported increasing number of
complaints as compared to last year about malpractice
a. Consensus of opinion
involved in telemarketing companies selling hotel and b. New innovations
dining club memberships to customers. The telemarketing c. Long period of time
companies may use a fraudulent company name to d. At a price of $50
mislead the customers in buying the memberships or the e. Still remains
telemarketing companies may deduct the fees from the
6. Editing for Conciseness (Long Words) [LO-3] Revise the
customers’ account without consent of the customers even
following sentences, using shorter, simpler words:
if the customers have chosen not to renew the memberships
when their memberships expired. Customers end up buying
a. The antiquated calculator is ineffectual for solving
unwanted hotel or dining coupons or notice fees deduction
sophisticated problems.
from their credit card account only afterwards. Customers b. It is imperative that the pay increments be terminated
are advised by the Consumer Council to exercise precautions before an inordinate deficit is accumulated.
when dealing with telemarketing such as not to give away c. There was unanimity among the executives that
their credit card number to any third party if they have doubts Ms. Jackson’s idiosyncrasies were cause for a mandatory
about the payment; to ask for a printed copy of the leaflet; meeting with the company’s personnel director.
and to read the terms and conditions carefully. d. The impending liquidation of the company’s assets was
cause for jubilation among the company’s competitors.
3. Revising for Readability (Using Lists) [LO-2] Rewrite the
following paragraph using a parallel bulleted list and one e. The expectations of the president for a stock dividend
introductory sentence: were accentuated by the preponderance of evidence that
the company was in good financial condition.
Our forensic accounting services provide the insights
7. Editing for Conciseness (Lengthy Phrases) [LO-3] Use in-
needed to resolve disputes, recover losses, and manage risk
finitives as substitutes for the overly long phrases in these
intelligently. One of our areas of practice is insurance claims
sentences:
accounting and preparation services, designed to help you
maximize recovery of insured value. Another practice area a. For living, I require money.
is dispute advisory, in which we can assist with discovery, b. They did not find sufficient evidence for believing in the
expert witness testimony, and economic analysis. A third future.
practice: construction consulting. This service helps our c. Bringing about the destruction of a dream is tragic.
clients understand why large-scale construction projects 8. Editing for Conciseness (Lengthy Phrases) [LO-3] Rephrase
fail to meet schedule or budget requirements. Fourth, we the following in fewer words:
offer general investigative and forensic accounting services,
a. In the near future
including fraud detection and proof of loss analysis.5
b. In the event that
4. Revising for Readability (Sentence Length) [LO-2] Break c. In order that
the following sentences into shorter ones by adding more d. For the purpose of
periods and revise as needed for smooth flow: e. With regard to
a. The next time you write something, check your average f. It may be that
sentence length in a 100-word passage, and if your sen- g. In very few cases
tences average more than 16 to 20 words, see whether
h. With reference to
you can break up some of the sentences.
i. At the present time
b. Don’t do what the village blacksmith did when he
j. There is no doubt that
instructed his apprentice as follows: “When I take the
shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil, and when 9. Editing for Conciseness (Lengthy Phrases) [LO-3] Revise
I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.” The ap- to condense these sentences to as few words as possible:
prentice did just as he was told, and now he’s the village a. We are of the conviction that writing is important.
blacksmith. b. In all probability, we’re likely to have a price increase.
 CH AP T E R 6 Completing Business Messages 209

c. Our goals include making a determination about that in b. The keys to 34A and 35A are in executive hands, with the
the near future. former belonging to the vice president in charge of sales
d. When all is said and done at the conclusion of this ex- and the latter belonging to the production manager.
periment, I’d like to summarize the final windup. c. The keys to 34A and 35A have been given to the produc-
e. After a trial period of three weeks, during which time tion manager, with the aforementioned keys being gold
she worked for a total of 15 full working days, we found embossed.
her work was sufficiently satisfactory so that we offered d. A laser printer and an inkjet printer were delivered to
her full-time work. John and Megan, respectively.
10. Editing for Conciseness (Unnecessary Modifiers) [LO-3] e. The walnut desk is more expensive than the oak desk,
Remove all the unnecessary modifiers from these sentences: the former costing $300 more than the latter.
a. Tremendously high pay increases were given to the extraor- 15. Editing for Clarity (Dangling Modifiers) [LO-3] Rewrite
dinarily skilled and extremely conscientious employees. these sentences to clarify the dangling modifiers:
b. The union’s proposals were highly inflationary, ex- a. Full of trash and ripped-up newspapers, we left Dallas
tremely demanding, and exceptionally bold. on a plane that apparently hadn’t been cleaned in days.
11. Editing for Clarity (Hedging) [LO-3] Rewrite these sen- b. Lying on the shelf, Ruby found the operations manual.
tences so that they no longer contain any hedging: c. With leaking plumbing and outdated wiring, I don’t
a. It would appear that someone apparently entered illegally. think we should buy that property.
b. It may be possible that sometime in the near future the d. Being cluttered and filthy, Sandy took the whole after-
situation is likely to improve. noon to clean up her desk.
c. Your report seems to suggest that we might be losing e. After proofreading every word, the letter was ready to be
money. signed.
16. Editing for Clarity (Noun Sequences) [LO-3] Rewrite the
d. I believe Nancy apparently has somewhat greater influ-
following sentences to eliminate the long strings of nouns:
ence over employees in the e-marketing department.
a. The focus of the meeting was a discussion of the bank
e. It seems as if this letter of resignation means you might
interest rate deregulation issue.
be leaving us.
b. Following the government task force report recommen-
12. Editing for Clarity (Indefinite Starters) [LO-3] Rewrite
dations, we are revising our job applicant evaluation
these sentences to eliminate the indefinite starters:
procedures.
a. There are several examples here to show that Elaine c. The production department quality assurance program
can’t hold a position very long. components include employee training, supplier coop-
b. It would be greatly appreciated if every employee would eration, and computerized detection equipment.
make a generous contribution to Mildred Cook’s retire- d. The supermarket warehouse inventory reduction plan
ment party. will be implemented next month.
c. It has been learned in Washington today from generally e. The State University business school graduate place-
reliable sources that an important announcement will be ment program is one of the best in the country.
made shortly by the White House.
17. Editing for Clarity (Sentence Structure) [LO-3] Rearrange
d. There is a rule that states that we cannot work overtime the following sentences to bring the subjects closer to their
without permission. verbs:
e. It would be great if you could work late for the next three a. Trudy, when she first saw the bull pawing the ground, ran.
Saturdays. b. It was Terri who, according to Ted, who is probably the
13. Editing for Clarity (Parallelism) [LO-3] Revise these sen- worst gossip in the office (Tom excepted), mailed the
tences to present the ideas in parallel form: wrong order.
a. Mr. Hill is expected to lecture three days a week, to c. William Oberstreet, in his book Investment Capital Re-
counsel two days a week, and must write for publication considered, writes of the mistakes that bankers through
in his spare time. the decades have made.
b. She knows not only accounting, but she also reads Latin. d. Judy Schimmel, after passing up several sensible invest-
c. Both applicants had families, college degrees, and were ment opportunities, despite the warnings of her friends
in their thirties, with considerable accounting experi- and family, invested her inheritance in a jojoba plantation.
ence but few social connections. e. The president of U-Stor-It, which was on the brink of bank-
d. This book was exciting, well written, and held my interest. ruptcy after the warehouse fire, the worst tragedy in the
e. Don is both a hard worker and he knows bookkeeping. history of the company, prepared a press announcement.
14. Editing for Clarity (Awkward References) [LO-3] Revise 18. Editing for Clarity (Camouflaged Verbs) [LO-3] Rewrite
the following sentences to delete the awkward references: each sentence so that the verbs are no longer camouflaged:
a. The vice president in charge of sales and the production a. Adaptation to the new rules was performed easily by the
manager are responsible for the keys to 34A and 35A, employees.
respectively. b. The assessor will make a determination of the tax due.
210 PAR T 2 Applying the Three-Step Writing Process

c. Verification of the identity of the employees must be sell products in the local area, so the people affected by all
made daily. this are not potential customers. Moreover, providing accu-
d. The board of directors made a recommendation that rate information to the surrounding community and updat-
Mr. Ronson be assigned to a new division. ing it as the project progresses will take time away from your
e. The auditing procedure on the books was performed by other job responsibilities. Do you have an ethical obligation
the vice president. to keep the local community informed with accurate, up-to-
date information? Why or why not?
19. Completing: Designing for Readability; Media Skills:
Blogging [LO-4], Chapter 8 Compare the home pages of 21. Proofreading [LO-5] Proofread the following email message
Bloomberg (www.bloomberg.com) and MarketWatch and revise it to correct any problems you find:
(www.marketwatch.com), two websites that cover financial Our final company orrientation of the year will be held on
markets. What are your first impressions of these two sites? Dec. 20. In preparation for this sesssion, please order 20
How do their overall designs compare in terms of infor- copies of the Policy handbook, the confindentiality agreenemt,
mation delivery and overall user experience? Choose three the employee benefits Manual, please let me know if you
pieces of information that a visitor to these sites would be anticipate any delays in obtaining these materials.
likely to look for, such as a current stock price, news from
international markets, and commentary from market ex-
perts. Which site makes it easier to find this information?
Expand Your Skills
Why? Present your analysis in a post for your class blog. Critique the Professionals
20. Communication Ethics: Making Ethical Choices; Media Identify a company website that in your opinion violates one or
Skills: Blogging [LO-3], Chapter 8 The time and energy more of the principles of good design discussed on pages 196–199.
required for careful revision can often benefit you or your Using whatever medium your instructor requests, write a brief
company directly, such as by increasing the probability that analysis of the site (no more than one page), citing specific ele-
website visitors will buy your products. But what about situ- ments from the piece and support from the chapter.
ations in which the quality of your writing and revision work
really doesn’t stand to benefit you directly? For instance, as- Sharpening Your Career Skills Online
sume that you are putting a notice on your website, inform- Bovée and Thill’s Business Communication Web Search, at http://
ing the local community about some upcoming construction businesscommunicationblog.com/websearch, is a unique re-
to your manufacturing plant. The work will disrupt traffic search tool designed specifically for business communication re-
for nearly a year and generate a significant amount of noise search. Use the Web Search function to find a website, video, PDF
and air pollution, but knowing the specific dates and times document, or PowerPoint presentation that offers advice on ef-
of various construction activities will allow people to adjust fective proofreading. Write a brief email message to your instruc-
their commutes and other activities to minimize the negative tor, describing the item you found and summarizing the career
impact on their daily lives. However, your company does not skills information you learned from it.

Endnotes
1. Jefferson Rabb website, accessed 21 January 2013, www.jeffersonrabb 4. Jacci Howard Bear, “Desktop Publishing Rules for How Many
.com; Joshua Bodwell, “Artful Author Web Sites,” Poets & Writers, Fonts to Use,” About.com, accessed 22 August 2005, www.about.com.
January/February 2011, 79–84; Super Sad True Love Story website, 5. The writing sample in this exercise was adapted from material on
accessed 22 January 2011, http://supersadtruelovestory.com; Beat the the Marsh Risk Consulting website, accessed 2 October 2006, www
Reaper website, accessed 22 January 2011, www.beatthereaper.com. .marshriskconsulting.com.
2. Deborah Gunn, “Looking Good on Paper,” Office Pro, March 2004,
10–11.
3. Jacci Howard Bear, “Desktop Publishing Rules of Page Layout,”
About.com, accessed 22 August 2005, www.about.com.