UNIT

Essay Paragraphs
Part 1 Introductory paragraphs

Part 2 Body paragraphs

Part 3 Logical fallacies

Part 4 Concluding paragraphs

 Par t
Introductory
1 paragraphs

The introductory paragraph should introduce the essay topic and prepare
readers for the contents of the essay. Therefore, there are certain things
writers should consider when making decisions about any introductory
paragraph.

The introductory paragraph can be written before or after the rest of the
essay. Writing it before the rest of the essay follows a logical order, as it is
the first paragraph of the essay, and it also helps to focus the writer on the
specific contents of the essay.When the essay is finished, the writer can revise
the introductory paragraph written at the start to ensure its contents match
the essay. However, if writers do not have fully formed ideas about all the
contents of the essay, they may waste time deciding what to write in the
introductory paragraph.

Therefore:
• write the introductory paragraph without worrying about perfection.
OR
• write the introductory paragraph after writing the body paragraphs.

What to include

What to include in an introductory paragraph depends on the topic, the

type of essay being written, and the target reader. However, in general, the
introductory paragraph should consist of three parts:
1. background on the topic.
2. the writer's thesis.
3. a motive for the essay.

1. Background on the topic

Suitable background is information such as:
• a history of the topic.
• the current situation regarding the topic.
• different perspectives on the topic.
• definitions of key terms.
• statistics.

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 Unit 2 • Part 1

The following introductory paragraph includes all these features.

Statistics
- the
Demographers predict that the world's population will reach 9 billion by
middle of the twenty-first century. Competition for scarce resources will
______ certainly intensify as a result, with one resource of particular concern: food.
o The United Nations reports that close to a billion people are suffering from
-..

chronic hunger ("Food"). As the population continues to grow, this figure

I is sure to increase, so attempts are being made to meet the demand through
more industrialized food production, which aims for higher and quicker
yields of current food sources. However, industrialization usually requires
History! vast amounts of resources and produces large quantities of greenhouse gases,
current situation leading to concerns over the environmental sustainability of agricultural
industrialization. Therefore, the challenge is not only how to feed the bulging
population, but how to do so sustainably. Perhaps the answer lies not in
trying to produce higher yields of current food sources, but instead in finding
, alternative food sources. One possible solution, then, is entomophagy, the
Definitions of
---I+- scientific term for eating insects. Research has shown that insects have several
key terms
major advantages as a food source in terms of nutrition, cost, safety, and
environmental impact. Of course, it can be argued that the perception of
Different ---I+- insects as disgusting pests means that they will never be considered as a
perspectives source of food in many countries. Yet attempts should be made to change this
negative perception, as entomophagy offers a realistic and sustainable food
source in a world where population increase shows no sign of abating.

Exercise 1 Look at the introductory paragraph of the model essay on page 24. Label
the different parts of the introductory paragraph (follow the example
above).

Selecting background to include

Background information depends on the essay topic. The key question is:

What background information is necessary for readers to understand the

essay contents?

If the essay topic is familiar, provide a brief background and focus on

presenting information which may challenge what readers already believe
about the topic. For example:
Topic: Causes in the rise in worldwide obesity
Thesis: The rise in worldwide obesity rates has less to do with the spread of
American-style fast food, and has more to do with an increase in the
American-style "fast life. "

Readers may be familiar with this issue and have assumptions about its causes.
Appropriate background could be:
• statistics on the rise in worldwide obesity.
• clarification of how many kilograms overweight is considered obese.
• previous assumptions about the causes of obesity, plus a challenge to that
assumption:

33
 ~Although many people blame "fast-food culture" for the rise of obesity in
_____ many parts of the world, new research has revealed that fast-food meals
Assumption have no more calories than home-cooked ones. ~
Challenge

If the topic is less familiar, more background information may be necessary

for the reader to understand the topic. For example:
Topic: Ways to improve the lives of people in developing countries
Thesis: Funding for desalination plants is one way to increase social stability
and economic growth in those areas of the developing world in
need of fresh water, a resource arguably more vital than oil and
more precious than gold.

Readers may be unfamiliar with two key parts of the thesis - the issue of
water shortage and desalination plants. Appropriate background could be:
• the scope of the water shortage problem (e.g., countries affected, how
lives are affected, resulting social and economic problems).
• statistics on water availability.
• a definition and description of "desalination."

Exercise 2 For each thesis statement below, list appropriate background information
to help readers understand the essay topic.

1. Thesis: Arranged marriages are still an integral aspect of many cultures

and actually seem to be more stable than the more modern "love
marriages. "

Background:

2. Thesis: Although people are better informed about other cultures

through the internet, racism and ethnocentrism is apparently increasing,
as people find more opportunities to compare their own culture to that of
others.

Background:

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 Unit 2 • Part 1

3. Thesis: The argument could be made that nanotechnology has been the
most influential science in the twenty-first century, due to the
number of life-changing pro-ducts developed from it.

Background:

4. Thesis: An analysis of the bodily features of the main actors in the top
25 highest grossing movies of today versus those 30 years ago
indicates some similarities and differences in what is considered
physically attractive in males and females.

Background:

5. Thesis: The vast sums of money spent trying to deter drug trafficking
and drug abuse seem to have had little or no effect, thereby
warranting the implementation of more radical tactics in the
"war on drugs."

Background:

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 2. The writer's thesis

As explained in Unit 1, the thesis is a clear statement of the writer's position

on the topic. It is often the last sentence of the introductory paragraph.

In the sample paragraph on entomophagy (page 33), the thesis is the last
sentence:

Yet attempts should be made to change this negative perception, as

entomophagy offers a realistic and sustainable food source in a world where
population increase shows no sign of abating.

Everything that follows in the essay should focus on showing how and why
this thesis is valid.

3. A motive for the essay

While the thesis is the writer's position on the topic, the motive is the reason
why it is necessary to take this position or why the topic is worth exploring.
The motive explains to the reader the situation which led to the thesis. A
common indicator of a motive is by the use of the words but, however, or
although.

The following are three common motives for an academic essay:

o There is an issue worthy of debate.

a. Thesis: The internet has made society less efficient, less informed, and
less healthy.

Motive: Some view the internet as an overwhelmingly positive force

which has benefited mankind.

b. Thesis: The concepts of marriage and monogamy evolved from societal

necessities, rather than innate human tendencies.

Motive: It is widely accepted that finding a life partner in marriage

and having children is a natural goal for humans. However,
research has cast doubt on whether or not marriage can be
considered natural.

8 There is a problem requiring a solution or explanation.

a. Thesis: To lower recidivism rates among violent criminals who return

to society, the time they spend in prison should focus on keeping
their mind and body active with productive activities that foster
ambition and self-confidence.

Motive: For most countries, prison is the main means for punishing
criminal behavior and making society safer. However, while
prison does protect society in the short-term by keeping criminals
away from ordinary citizens, incarceration and lengthy prison
sentences seem to be counter-effective in reducing violent crime
rates in the long-term.

36
 Unit 2 • Part 1

b. Thesis: The paradox of increased IT spending by companies but lower

productivity and increased work hours is attributable to a
number of factors related to employer expectations, difficulties
in measuring productivity, and significant shortcomings in
computer-based work.

Motive: The spread of computers should have signaled the dawn of

an era of efficiency in the workplace, leading to increased
productivity and shorter work hours. However, statistics show
that productivity has dropped and work hours have increased
since computers became ubiquitous in offices all around the
developed world.

@) There is information which may aid understanding.

a. Thesis: It is clear that students in families living in poverty have few of

the types of social and parental interactions necessary to
properly prepare them for the challenges of academic study.

Motive: It is well documented that students from impoverished

backgrounds tend to perform poorly in school compared with
their more affluent counterparts. However, while reducing
the cost of education does alleviate some of the financial
burden, research has indicated that certain factors common in
these students' lives outside school have a greater influence on
their poor academic performance.

b. Thesis: A major reason why Western celebrities are popular in Asia but
Asian celebrities are less so in the West is that the Western
cultural products have vastly superior financial and marketing
strength.

Motive: Western athletes, actors, and singers enjoy huge followings all
around Asia. However, attempts by their Asian counterparts to
create similar levels of popularity in the West have met with
minimal success. Part of understanding the appeal of Western
celebrities in Asia requires an examination of the relative power
of their cultural industries.

Look at the introductory paragraph of the model essay on page 24.

1. Underline the motive.

2. Decide which type of motivating point it is, and write the number in the
margin next to the motive.

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 Exercise 4 For introductory paragraphs a, b, and c below:

1. Underline the motive.

2. Decide which type of motivating point it is, and write the number in the
margin next to the motive.

Example:
Nowhere else in the world do Emperor penguins live, do 4,000 meter-
deep ice sheets exist, do distant galaxies shine brighter, or do winds blow
colder. The extreme climate of the Antarctic and its remote location on
the globe make it an ideal laboratory. Scientific research of such rare
conditions may offer the potential to better understand the entire global
ecosystem. Because of the efforts of scientists and documentarians,
who bring back rare data and footage informing the public about
Antarctica's features and ecosystem, the interest among tourists to see
and experience this unspoiled place has grown exponentially. Many laud
the once-in-a-lifetime trip to Antarctica as experiential education in eco-
tourism. a category of traveling focused on environmental conservation
and minimal invasiveness on a natural area. Tourism dollars are also a
valuable potential source of funds to help finance the many ongoing
scientific experiments being conducted. However. despite these benefits.
the presence of humans in Antarctica. particularly that of tourists. has
been unavoidably intrusive. The sheer number of visitors has resulted in
unprecedented damage to the continent, with scientists warning that,
unless significant measures are taken, the increasing number of tourists
will inevitably bring irreparable future disruptions to the fragile ecosystem
there, with possible ripple effects around the world. As Antarctica has
no government or rule of law to protect itself, the onus is on scientists,
governments, and tour operators to coordinate their efforts to ensure
visitors maximize their travel experience without negatively impacting
Antarctica's environment.

a. Much has been written about the cultural basis of seniority-based versus
merit-based promotion and pay in companies, as well as the benefits and
drawbacks of each system. A seniority-based system is more common in
the East - e.g., Thailand, Japan - where the hard work and loyalty of
company employees are rewarded with increased status and pay as they
get older. While such a system virtually guarantees lifetime employment
for employees, it also often breeds inefficiency and even laziness among
those who feel there is no incentive to do more than what is required of
their position. A merit-based system, however, is prevalent in the West
- e.g., the United States, the U.K. - where productivity is the basis of
position and pay. It gives employees the incentive to work hard and be
innovative, but it also often leads to competition among employees,
resulting in distrust and conflict in the workplace as well as less job
security. Studies have indicated that there seems to be a shift toward a
more merit-based system among companies in the East, but a number of
factors can help determine if such a shift is necessary.or desirable.

38
 Unit 2 • Part 1

b. Since the middle of the twentieth century, Keynesian economic theory has
been the mainstay of governmental policies in regulating the economy.
The theory essentially contends that in times of recession, a free-market
economy may not be able to self-correct naturally, thereby requiring the
government to intervene by trying to stimulate the economy with such
measures as tax and interest rate cuts and increases in spending on various
projects. Although Keynesian policy has been successful in the sense
that there has not yet been a repeat of the Great Depression of 1929,
the lingering effects of the market collapse of 2007-8 and subsequent
recessions have shown that traditional government interventions are
having relatively little effect in turning economies around. An explanation
for this lies in examining particular aspects of modern communication,
especially with regard to the effect of the media and "bandwagon"
behavior.

c. Much credit is given to Hollywood for spreading American culture around

the world through movies and TV shows. However, one might argue that
another American export has had an equally or even more pervasive
effect in capturing the minds and souls of people worldwide: hip-hop.
Hip-hop culture began on the streets of New York in the 1970s, as house
and street parties in black and Hispanic communities provided a venue
for listening to rap music and wearing loose-fitting brand sportswear as
a fashion statement. Since then, hip-hop has won fans around the world,
as youths have adopted its musical, clothing, and speaking styles, while
also combining elements of their own culture. There are a number of
factors which have driven hip-hop's popularity and helped create one of
the world's truly global music styles.

Exercise 5 For each thesis below, write a possible motive.

a. Thesis: Witness testimony in criminal trials can be considered unreliable

due to a number of factors which affect the ability of humans to
accurately recall something or someone.

Motive:

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 b. Thesis: Developments in traffic management suggest the key to
reducing accidents may be to reduce the number of instructions
given to drivers through road signs.

Motive:

c. Thesis: Despite being costly to host, the Olympics seem to bring a

number of beneficial social effects for the host country.

Motive:

d. Thesis: Traditional styles of medicine have a role to play alongside

modern medical techniques.

Motive:

e. Thesis: More focus should be placed on preventing health problems

rather than dealing with them once they have already occurred.

Motive:

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Par t

2 Body paragraphs

Purpose and parts

Essaysare organized into a logical flow of information which demonstrates

why the thesis is valid.

( ••Thesis

Topic sentence
••
I
I

~------Supporting sentences

Topic sentence
••
I
I

~------Supporting sentences

Body paragraphs follow the introduction. They form the majority of the essay
because they present all the details supporting the thesis.

A body paragraph contains:

1. A topic sentence. This is usually the first sentence of a body paragraph.
It states the topic and a controlling idea of that paragraph.
2. Supporting sentences. These are claims, evidence, and explanations which
show how the controlling idea supports the essay'sthesis.
3. An optional transitional sentence. This sentence can be at the end or
beginning of a paragraph to indicate one idea is complete and a new one
is beginning.

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 Topic sentences

Each body paragraph requires a clear topic sentence, which states what the
body paragraph will be about. The sentence includes:
• the topic - the theme of the paragraph which is related to the thesis.
• a controlling idea - the specific focus of the paragraph. All the details in
the body paragraph support the controlling idea.

Here is a thesis and topic sentence from an essay on photography's influence

on art:

Thesis: Photography dramatically influenced artists by a affecting their

subject matter, level of detail, and development of new styles.

Topic sentence:
One effect photographv had on artists was in changing the subjects in their
paintings.

The above topic sentence shows that the paragraph will be:
• linked to the thesis about the "effect photography had on artists."
• specifically about how photography was influential in "changing the
subjects in their paintings."

Topic sentences
• can begin with either the topic or controlling idea.
• should use precise words for stating the topic and controlling idea,
avoiding pronouns such as they, it, or these, or words such as reason,
aspect, or effect when they are not clearly explained.

Examples:
1 It was also a new creative medium for artists.
1 Creating a new medium for artists was also an effect.

These two topic sentences are ineffective because they do not give readers a
clear idea of what the paragraph will be about, nor do they remind readers
what the thesis of the essay is.

./ Photography also inspired artists to explore a new medium by which art

could be created.

This topic sentence is effective because it is clear that the essay is about how
photography affected artists and that the controlling idea of the paragraph
will be about how artists began using photography as a medium to produce
art.

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 Unit 2 • Part 2

Exercise 1 Read the following topic sentences. Circle the topic and underline the
controlling idea if possible. Decide the effectiveness of each topic
sentence.

1. As of 2008, over half of the people using a social networking service were
over 35 years old.

2. First, cars are safer today than ever before because airbags have become
a standard safety feature.

3. Furthermore, although not an old technology, they have already become

obsolete.

4. Increased productivity in the workplace has been another result of staff

being allowed to use their own tablet computers.

5. Another limitation is that electricity cannot be generated at night.

Relevance

When writing a topic sentence, it is important that the topic sentence shows
its relevance to the essay thesis. Here is a thesis and two topic sentences:

Certain aspects of reality TV shows reflect the American character and

preferences which enable these programs to dominate television ratings in
the u.s.
a. One reason there are so many reality TV shows is that they are relatively
inexpensive to produce.
b. Through reality Til, American society has shown a voyeuristic desire to
look into the lives of other, "ordinary" people.

Topic sentence "a" is irrelevant because, although it is about reality TV shows,

it is not related to the idea of how it reflects the American character. Topic
sentence "b" is relevant because it mentions a specific character trait: being
voyeuristic.

Exercise 2 For each thesis on the next page, read each topic sentence and:

• circle the topic and underline the controlling idea.

• determine if the topic sentence logically supports the thesis by writing

"yes" or "no" in the space next to it.

43
 1. Thesis: Certain aspects of reality TV shows reflect the American
character and preferences which enable these programs to
dominate television ratings in the u.s.
Potential topic sentences:
a. Reality TV has also caught on in Asia, so much so that they have started
their own shows there which are similar or even direct copies of the
original American versions. _

b. Many of the participants in the most popular reality TV shows are there
to achieve status and prestige, which is indicative of what motivates
Americans in general in many aspects of their life. _

c. Almost every major TV network in the u.s. has its own lineup of reality
TV shows, with new ones debuting every season. _

d. Reality TV also highlights the competitive nature of Americans, as many

shows have features which make them as dramatic as sports events.

2. Thesis: With society's high value on personal and environmental health,

an increasing number of people are becoming vegetarians
because of the benefits it brings to individuals and the world's
ecosystem.

Potential topic sentences:

a. Adopting a vegetarian diet is widely believed to reduce the risk of many
illnesses. _

b. Vegetarians used to be known as Pythagoreans, after the ancient Greek

philosopher and mathematician Pythagoras, an early advocate of non-
meat diets. _

c. A vegetarian lifestyle is also seen as fashionable among some young

people.

d. The success of animal rights groups over the last four decades
has created a generation expecting the ethical treatment of animals.

e. Adopting a vegetarian diet is also believed to contribute to a reduction in

greenhouse gases that cause global warming. _

f. In many Western countries, Asian food has become much more popular
due to its perceived health benefits. _

g. Another factor is protecting the balance of the' world's ecosystem.

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 Unit 2 • Part 2

Supporting sentences and the "waltz"

Supporting sentences follow the topic sentence in a body paragraph. They

provide details that support the controlling idea. To organize these sentences,
use the paragraph "waltz." The waltz is a way to write supporting sentences so
that they work together to logically develop ideas to support the controlling
idea. The waltz has three parts:

Part 1 A claim: a sentence or sentences introducing a specific point

about the controlling idea. One or more claims may
be introduced in a body paragraph.
Part 2 Evidence: a sentence or sentences providing one or more
examples, statistics, or other evidence supporting
each claim.
Part 3 An explanation: a sentence or sentences explaining the meaning
of each claim and evidence, and showing their
significance, relevance, or implication to the
controlling idea.

Examples
a. Part 1: Body paragraph developing one claim for the topic sentence on
page 42.

One effect photography had on artists was in changing the subjects

Topic sentence
in their paintings. Prior to the camera, the subjects in paintings were
often of religion, wealthy people, or landscapes. However, during the
Introducing the
nineteenth century, photographs of ordinary people going about their
claim
everyday lives inspired artists to use these subjects in their paintings.

In this example, the controlling idea in the topic sentence is photography

"changing the subjects in their paintings." The claim, "photographs of
ordinary people going about their everyday lives inspired artists to
use these subjects in their paintings," supports the controlling idea that
photography changed the subjects in paintings. The essaywriter needed
to write two sentences to express this one claim clearly.

45
 b. Part 2: Evidence added to support the claim

One effect photography had on artists was in changing the subjects

in their paintings. Prior to the camera, the subjects in paintings were
Introducing
often of religion, wealthy people, or landscapes. However, during the
the claim
nineteenth century, photographs of ordinary people going about their
everyday lives inspired artists to use these subjects in their paintings.
According to Biggs (2001), The Umbrellas by Pierre-Auguste Renoir, in
which the artist depicts a rainy street scene in Paris, vividly exemplifies
this influence. The people in the painting are not posing. The principal
Evidence female figure and a young girl look out at the viewer as if they notice
supporting
the claim they are being watched while the other figures appear only concerned
about making their way in the rain; one female figure is even shown in
the act of raising her umbrella. Another figure, a man, is shown to be on
the verge of speaking to the principal female figure, which suggests the
painting is like a photograph of people on a typical rainy day.

In this example, the painting The Umbrellas is the evidence which shows
that the claim "ordinary people going about their everyday lives" is true.
The essay writer needed several sentences to describe this evidence
clearly.

c. Part 3: Explanation added to express the significance of the claim and

evidence
The explanation in the waltz is crucial to make the reader understand why or
how the claim and evidence support the controlling idea and the thesis.

One effect photography had on artists was in changing the subjects

in their paintings. Prior to the camera, the subjects in paintings were
often of religion, wealthy people, or landscapes. However, during the
nineteenth century, photographs of ordinary people going about their
everyday lives inspired artists to use these subjects in their paintings.
According to Biggs (2001), The Umbrellas by Pierre-Auguste Renoir, in
which the artist depicts a rainy street scene in Paris, vividly exemplifies
this influence. The people in the painting are not posing. The principal
female figure and a young girl look out at the viewer as if they notice
they are being watched while the other figures appear only concerned
about making their way in the rain; one female figureis even shown in
the act of raising her umbrella. Another figure, a man, is shown to be
on the verge of speaking to the principal female figure, which suggests
the painting is like a photograph of people on a typical rainy day.

46
 Unit 2 • Part 2

Explanation of The result was a revolution in subject matter; the mundane events of
the significance life became interesting subjects, and elevated the common person to
of the claim and
evidence
the status of worthy subject in serious art.

To be effective, the explanation should clearly express the meaning of

the claim and evidence, and show their significance to the controlling
idea. The explanation should not just repeat the claim or evidence. In
this example, the meaning of the claim and evidence is: Photography
caused a "revolution in subject matter" because photographs often
had subjects of common people doing common things, as exemplified
in The Umbrellas, so artists were inspired to also use these same, new
subjects. Therefore, the writer concludes that "the mundane events
of life became interesting subjects, and elevated the common person
to the status of worthy subject in serious art."

d. Parts 2 and 3: Reversed position in a body paragraph

The order of the waltz parts can be changed. A claim usually follows the
topic sentence to clearly establish the specific idea that will be developed.
However, in the following waltz, the evidence and explanation are
reversed.

One effect photography had on artists was in changing the subjects

in their paintings. Prior to the camera, the subjects in paintings were
often of religion, wealthy people, or landscapes. However, during the
nineteenth century, photographs of ordinary people going about their
everyday lives inspired artists to use these subjects in their paintings.
The result was a revolution in subject matter; the mundane events of
Explanation of
the significance of life became interesting subjects, and elevated the common person to the
the claim status of worthy subject in serious art. According to Biggs (2001), The
Umbrellas by Pierre-Auguste Renoir, in which the artist depicts a rainy
Evidence street scene in Paris, vividly exemplifies this influence. The people in
supporting
the painting are not posing. The principal female figure and a young girl
the claim and
explanation look out at the viewer as if they notice they are being watched while
the other figures appear only concerned about making their way in the
rain; one female figure is even shown in the act of raising her umbrella.
Another figure, a man, is shown to be on the verge of speaking to the
principal female figure, which suggests the painting is like a photograph
of people on a typical rainy day.

It is the writer's decision how to arrange the evidence and explanation

parts in body paragraphs. In this example, the explanation is presented
before the evidence. The writer may have decided that putting the
explanation before the evidence was more effective in supporting the
claim, or wanted to avoid repeating the same waltz organization in each
body paragraph.

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 e. Body paragraphs with multiple claims
In a body paragraph with more than one claim, simply start a new waltz with
the next claim.

At the beginning of the twentieth century, the mass-production of

Topic sentence
cameras contributed to making society more equal. First, with George

1st claim Eastman's development of photographic film in 1885, cameras became

cheaper. For example, released in 1900, the Kodak Brownie was the
Evidence for
1st claim world's first mass-produced camera. It sold for only $1 and became an
immediate success with millions sold (McDougal, 2001). The result of
these inexpensive cameras was that photography became a new leisure
Significance of 1st
activity accessible to all. People from all social classes could now afford
claim and evidence
to participate in an activity previously reserved for those with the free
time and wealth needed to take pictures. In addition, these cameras were
2nd claim easy to use and produced inexpensive photos, which led to the idea of
the "snapshot." Wilson (2003) describes snapshots as photos of everyday
Evidence for events such as birthday parties and other celebrations, animals, or travel
2nd claim
destinations, characterized by their amateurish technique, spontaneity,
and low picture quality. The ease of taking snapshots allowed everyone
Significance of 2nd
claim and evidence to record the unique events of their own lives. In short, mass-produced
cameras played a role in equalizing society by allowing all social classes
Implications of 1st to pursue the same hobby, and by empowering ordinary people to
and 2nd claim and
visually express and document their own lives for the first time.
evidence

48
 Unit 2 • Part 2

Exercise 3 Read the following thesis statement. Put the sentences for a body
paragraph supporting this thesis into a logical order by numbering them
1-9.

Thesis: Preventable diseases are a major cause of poverty in developing

countries.

Body paragraph sentences:

____ With no investment in infrastructure projects or business ventures,

entire regions remain isolated and backwards because of the threat of malaria.

This impact on people results in a significant reduction in

productivity and lost income, and inhibits daily commercial activity.

____ In all, malaria, a disease seen as a result of poverty, is also a

significant contributor to poverty throughout the developing world.

____ First, communicable diseases such as malaria negatively affect the

workforce.

____ The World Bank (2007) found that in areas where malaria outbreaks
are commonly reported, investment from both domestic and international
sources are virtually non-existent.

____ The presence of malaria also prevents larger scale economic

development through discouraging investment.

____ Moreover, malaria prevents many people in developing regions

who work from their homes from participating in the day-to-day commerce
of their community.

____ The presence of disease limits the economic growth of many

developing countries.

____ The World Health Organization (2010) estimates that malaria alone
accounts for nearly 40 percent of absenteeism among workers in developing
countries.

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 Exercise 4 Develop the ideas in the following body paragraphs.

1. Write an explanation in a body paragraph from an essay about the

benefits of nuclear power.

One of the main benefits of nuclear power is

Topic sentence
that it is relatively clean.

Nuclear power does not produce the same level

Claim
of atmospheric pollution as fossil fuels.

Burning fossil fuels produces 21 billion tons of

Evidence carbon dioxide every year, and the planet can
only absorb about half of that amount.

Explanation

2. Write a claim and explanation for a body paragraph from an essay about
making driving tests more difficult for older people:

Another reason for making the driving test

Topic sentence more difficult for older people is that it would
likely increase road safety.

Claim

After about 60 years of age, people experience

declines in reflexes, strength, eyesight, memory,
Evidence
concentration, and judgment as a result of the
natural aging process.

Explanation

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 Unit 2 • Part 2

Exercise 5 Write two logically organized and developed body paragraphs supporting
the following thesis. Use the information provided to help write each
paragraph.

Thesis: Globalization is essentially Americanization, as U.S. culture has

become a part of the daily lives of people in countries around the
world.

1. Information:
McDonald's now operates over 25,000 restaurants worldwide, and opens
six new ones per day.

Topic sentence

Claim

Evidence

Explanation

2. Information:
About two-thirds of movie ticket sales around the world are for films
made in the United States.

Topic sentence

Claim

Evidence

Explanation

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 Transitional sentences

Transitional sentences can be placed at the end of a body paragraph, or at the

beginning before the topic sentence. These sentences can be useful to:
• prepare the reader for a change in ideas.
• add emphasis to the new idea.

Here is an example of a transitional sentence placed at the end of a paragraph.

One effect photography had on artists was in changing the subjects

in their paintings. Prior to the camera, the subjects in paintings were
often of religion, wealthy people, or landscapes. However, during the
nineteenth century, photographs of ordinary people going about their
everyday lives inspired artists to use these subjects in their paintings.
According to Biggs (2001), The Umbrellas by Pierre-Auguste Renoir, in
which the artist depicts a rainy street scene in Paris, vividly exemplifies
this influence. The people in the painting are not posing. The principal
female figure and a young girl look out at the viewer as if they notice
they are being watched while the other figures appear only concerned
about making their way in the rain; one female figure is even shown in
the act of raising her umbrella. Another figure, a man, is shown to be
on the verge of speaking to the principal female figure, which suggests
the painting is like a photograph of people on a typical rainy day. The
result was a revolution in subject matter; the mundane events of life
became interesting subjects and elevated the common person to the
status of worthy subject in serious art. Yet, photographs were perhaps
more influential in prompting an even greater impact on art: detail.
The camera also allowed painters to depict a greater level of detail
previously not possible. Before photographs, ...

Alternatively, the transitional sentence can be placed at the beginning of

a paragraph:

... The result was a revolution in subject matter; the mundane events of
life became interesting subjects and elevated the common person to the
status of worthy subject in serious art.
Yet, photographs were perhaps more influential in prompting an
even greater impact on art: detail. The camera allowed painters to depict
a greater level of detail previously not possible. Before photographs, ...

52
 Unit 2 • Part 2

Body paragraphs without topic sentences

Some body paragraphs have a controlling idea that requires many claims to
support it. In these situations, it may be necessary to spread these claims over
more than one paragraph. When more than one body paragraph develops
the same controlling idea, only the first paragraph requires a complete topic
sentence. The additional paragraphs can begin with a claim that supports the
controlling idea from the previous paragraph.

In the essay in Exercise 6, body paragraph 6 has the topic sentence:

The Antarctic ecosystem is also threatened by environmental hazards brought

by the increasing stream of tourists.

Body paragraph 7 continues to support the same controlling idea of

threatened by environmental hazards, so it begins another waltz with
another supporting claim:

Moreover, the threat of invasive microbes and other unseen organisms

presents a major problem to the safety of the environment.

In the above claim, invasive microbes and other unseen organisms supports
the controlling idea of threatened by environmental hazards.

Exercise 6 In the following essay:

1. Identify the topic and controlling idea in each body paragraph topic
sentence.

2. Choose one body paragraph and identify the claim(s), evidence, and
explanation parts of that paragraph.

3. Identify any transitional sentences in the essay.

Essay prompt:

The increase in tourism to Antarctica in recent decades has been a controversial

issue. Outline the problems that tourism has created in the Antarctic region, and
propose solutions that would address these problems.

Nowhere else in the world do Emperor penguins live, do 4,000

meter-deep ice sheets exist, do distant galaxies shine brighter, or do winds
blow colder. The extreme climate of the Antarctic and its remote location
on the globe make it an ideal laboratory. Scientific research of such rare
conditions may offer the potential to better understand the entire global
ecosystem. Because of the efforts of scientists and documentarians, who
bring back rare data and footage informing the public about Antarctica's
features and ecosystem, the interest among tourists to see and experience

53
 this unspoiled place has grown exponentially. Many laud the once-in-
a-lifetime trip to Antarctica as experiential education in eco-tourism, a
category of traveling focused on environmental conservation and minimal
invasiveness on a natural area. Tourism dollars are also a valuable potential
source of funds to help finance the many ongoing scientific experiments
being conducted. However, despite these benefits, the presence of humans
in Antarctica, particularly that of tourists, has been unavoidably intrusive.
The sheer number of visitors has resulted in unprecedented damage to the
continent, with scientists warning that, unless significant measures are taken,
the increasing number of tourists will inevitably bring irreparable future
disruptions to the fragile ecosystem there, with possible ripple effects around
the world. As Antarctica has no government or rule of law to protect itself,
the onus is on scientists, governments, and tour operators to coordinate their
efforts to ensure visitors maximize their travel experience without negatively
impacting Antarctica's environment.
One of the main problems tourists cause in Antarctica is the disruption
of scientific research being conducted there. While scientific study in
Antarctica was once the main purpose for human presence there, science
seems to have given way to tourism. In fact, from 1990, the number of
tourists began to increase to a point where their numbers now exceed the
number of scientists (Shaik, 2010). Initially, this was welcomed by research
staff whose projects saw a potential funding boost through an increase in
visitors, and scientists who stay in Antarctica all year round welcomed the
idea of more human contact (Larson, 2012). However, it quickly became
apparent that the large number of tourists was beginning to have negative
impacts on the scientists. According to American University, which funds
research in the Antarctic, independent tour companies are often unaware
of research schedules and bring hundreds of tourists to scientific sites
requesting explanations and tours (Grall, 1992). In addition, scientific staff
sometimes have to stop their work to aid tourists who have either ignored
the risks or underestimated the extreme conditions of Antarctica. They have
had to participate in the rescue of pilots who crashed attempting to break
records, or other adventurers who were not prepared for the harsh exposure
while trekking in the cold (Tourists in Antarctica, 2009). All of these
disruptions take scientists away from their experiments, cost money, delay
important results, and potentially endanger their lives.
A solution to the problem of having scientists attend to the throngs
of tourists is increased cooperation between the tour organizers and
researchers. Science-based charities or NGOs can actively promote their
research facilities as tourist destinations to ensure minimal interference with
research projects. In the Canadian low arctic, for example, a research charity
attracts, houses, educates, and leads tourists around the area - all under
the supervision of experts at the research station. The funds generated in
doing this finance the charity and its research while completely controlling
the impact of tourists (Churchill Northern, 2007). Likewise, the Chilean
government minimizes the impact of tourists who come through their

54
 Unit 2 • Part 2

program by confining their visit to its own facilities. Each facility houses
and manages the visitors, and the scientists at each station educate and
lead tours based on the research focus of each station (Antarctica annual,
2005). By exercising stricter controls and reducing experimental disruptions,
operations such as these seem ideal for properly maintaining a workable
balance between research and tourism in Antarctica.
Unfortunately, safeguarding scientific efforts in Antarctica amounts to
very little if tourists can still disrupt the ecosystem from which all their data
are gathered. Therefore, tourism's impact on the ecosystem is perhaps even
more worrying than its disruptions of ongoing experiments. The effect that
the now nearly 45,000 annual tourists have had on the wildlife in this fragile
environment has become a serious concern (Shaik, 2010). Hoping to view
the unique animals of the Antarctic, eco-tourists often venture too closely
to their habitats or nesting grounds. In addition, although a portion claim
to have had some environmental sensitivity training prior to departure,
the presence of tourists, regardless of whether they venture too close to
the animals or stand at a distance, has been proven to cause stress among
the wildlife. Gene S. Fowler (1999), from the University of Washington,
documented elevated levels of adrenalin that Magellanic penguins produced
upon being excited or scared by a human. It took some birds, especially
those that saw humans at irregular intervals, months to recover from their
symptoms of shock at these encounters. Similar problems were also found
among animals living in areas frequented by humans, even though these
animals are presumed by many to be "used to" tourists. According to
Trathan, Forcada, Atkinson, Downie, and Shears (2008), the presence of too
many humans was the likeliest contributor to a significant drop in gentoo
penguin breeding in colonies most exposed to tourists. The delicate balance
of natural cues for animals to nest and mate successfully can be all too easily
disturbed by the presence of tourists. And the resultant population swings,
particularly in an environment as fragile as Antarctica, could directly affect
the stability of other animal populations connected through the food chain,
leading to a vicious cycle that could reverberate throughout the ecosystem.
Most tour operators do have guidelines for tourists intended to
prevent disruption to the ecosystem, but it is apparent that much more needs
to be done to ensure guidelines are followed. Over the years, researchers
have catalogued increasingly numerous incidents of tourists showing either
.no knowledge of or complete disregard for the visitor guidelines. Tourists
often walked dangerously among Weddell seals on the beach, or ventured to
within one foot of a penguin's nest for a photo (Grall, 1992; Shaik, 2010),
despite the official guidelines of the International Association of Antarctica
Tour Operators (IAATO), which advise no closer than 15 feet (Guidelines,
2012). Similarly, reports of other violations include tourists trying to feed
penguins, and numerous incidents of tourists chasing seabirds to make them
scatter and flyaway for a photo (Trathan et aI., 2008). Clearly, the self-
regulation of these tour operators is ultimately inadequate in controlling
the misdemeanors of tourists. Therefore, regulation should come from the

55
 individual governments of the tour operators. Licensing of tour operators
should depend on how well they enforce the guidelines for behavior among
participants in their tours.
The Antarctic ecosystem is also threatened by environmental hazards
brought by the increasing stream of tourists. A number of the tourist
cruise ships visiting the area have been damaged by jagged ice, causing
oil to gush out into the water. The Associated Press (2007) reported one
notable example of a cruise ship which sank in Antarctic waters, releasing
over 210,000 liters of diesel, 24,000 liters of lubricant, and 1,000 liters of
gasoline into the surrounding water, threatening thousands of penguins
en route to the continent for mating season. There has been at least one
other report of a ship sinking, and several reports of ships coming too
close to shore and running aground (Shaik, 2010). With the presence of
more and more vessels, it would only require a few more incidents like
these to poison marine life such as krill and plankton, thereby irreparably
damaging the food chain. In addition to that from ships, waste from the
numerous research and tourist stations pollutes the land. Marcus Zylkstra,
an environmentalist in Antarctica, has criticized the condition of a number
of American stations as having "decades' worth of human excrement,
sewage, gas and oil leaking from broken-down and abandoned vehicles,
and numerous piles of discarded garbage and debris" (as cited in Arroyo &
Duque, 2004, p. 52). The extent to which biological and chemical pollutants
have continued to find their way into the environment shows the lack of
responsibility and coordination by the humans using this fragile land.
Moreover, the threat of invasive microbes and other unseen organisms
presents a major problem to the safety of the environment. Larson (2012)
reports that microbes from foreign environments cling to the boots and
jackets of disembarking visitors and infect the flora and fauna in potentially
unpredictable ways. Studies have confirmed that virtually every visitor
coming to the region carries a plethora of microscopic life forms alien to
Antarctica. In addition, tourists unknowingly transport tiny seeds which are
carried in their clothing (Askin, 2012). Indeed, Arroyo and Duque (2004)
found one invasive species of grass taking root in Antarctica believed to
have been introduced via seeds from tourists, and have warned that seeds
from "the Iceland Poppy, Tall Fescue Velvet grass and Annual Winter
Grass - all from cold climates and capable of growing in Antarctica" (p.
57) have been found, and their spread may threaten the few native grass
species. Snyder (2007) further asserted that native Antarctic grass species
are particularly vulnerable because they have never had to compete against
other species, so they would be easily overrun by the more aggressive
invasive strains. Therefore, introducing even just a few organisms of a
foreign species is enough to wreak havoc on the ecosystem. In total, the
potential for a takeover by invasive species combined with the multitude of
environmental pollutants unleashed into the Antarctic environment make
human activity a real threat to the entire ecological balance of the continent.

56
 Unit 2 • Part 2

Coordinated efforts between tour operators, their governments, and

the scientists stationed in Antarctica could be quite helpful in addressing
the threat of environmental hazards. An alliance between scientists and the
tourism industry would aid in facilitating the removal of waste produced by
humans. The arrival and departure dates could be shared among scientists
and tour operators, and tour boats could be responsible for carrying waste
with them after they depart. Clearly, the regular removal of biological and
other waste would reduce the risk of environmental contamination. Formal
cooperation between science and tourism could also decrease the chances
of the accidental release of foreign microbes. Tour operators could provide
their own outerwear for exclusive use in Antarctica to limit the risk of
contamination, and scientists could take further measures to check and
disinfect other possessions the tourists might bring. Individual governments
can further aid efforts to stop contamination by making strict licensing
requirements for the tour operators. Many governments already adhere to
the established guidelines for scientific cooperation (Australian Antarctic
Division, 20lla; Australian Antarctic Division, 20llb; The Secretariat of
the Antarctic Treaty, 2011), and this could act as a basis for all governments
involved in Antarctic tourism to cooperatively monitor their tour companies.
One especially important requirement is a limit on the number of people
allowed to embark on a tour at anyone time. Restricting this number would
ensure that large ships, which require heavily toxic fuels, are not used in
the tours (International Maritime Organization, 2011). Only smaller ships
running on lighter and less toxic fuel would be allowed in Antarctic waters,
thereby controlling the risk of devastating and irreparable damage to the
ecosystem caused by an accident.
In the end, although science was the original reason for the constant
presence of humans in Antarctica, the allure of exploring what many
consider Earth's last natural frontier is attracting adventurous tourists in
increasing numbers. While the arrival of tourists in any part of the world
inevitably has its pros and cons, the potential negative effects of tourism
on Antarctica, from the disruptions of its wildlife to pollution of its soil
and water, could be devastating to the delicate ecosystem. Despite these
concerns, tourism need not be stopped. Through cooperation and the
strict enforcement of rules, these issues can be overcome so both scientists
and tourists may satisfy their interest in Antarctica while minimizing their
effect on it. It is only with a concerted effort from all parties involved that
Antarctica's pristine environment can be preserved, rather than become a
casualty of human self-interest.

57
 References

Antarctica annual turnover 900 million U.S. dollars. (2005, March 31).
MercoPress. Retrieved from http://en.mercopress.coml2005/03/31/
antarctica-annual-turnover-900-million-us-dollars

Arroyo, C. & Duque, H. (2004). Environmental tragedies in the

southern reaches: The human impact on Antarctica. Nuestra Unica
Tierra. 3(1), 46-58.

Askin, P. (2012, March 6). Alien invasion a threat to Antarctic ecosystem.

Reuters. Retrieved from http://www.reuters.com/articleI2012/03/06/us-
antarctic-seeds-idUSTRE82504V20120306

Associated Press. (2007, November 6). Sunken Antarctic cruise ship

left oil spill. msnbc.com. Retrieved from http://www.msnbc.msn.coml
idl22039975/

Australian Antarctic Division. (20lla). Australia continues to lead the

way in Antarctica. Retrieved from http://www.antarctica.gov.aulmedial
news/20l1/ australia -continues-to-lead -the-way-in -antarctica

Australian Antarctic Division. (20llb). Training. Retrieved from

http://www.antarctica.gov.aulliving-and-working/training

Churchill Northern Studies Centre. (2007, March 7). Unique learning

vacations. Retrieved from http://www.churchillscience.calindex.
php?page=vacations

Fowler, G. S. (1999). Behavioral and hormonal responses ofMagellanic

penguins (Spheniscus magellanicus) to tourism and nest site visitation.
Biological Conservation, 90(2), 143-149.

Grall, J. (1992, September). Antarctic tourism impacts. TED Case Studies,

2(1). Retrieved from http://www1.american.edulTED/antarct.htm

Guidelines for Visitors to the Antarctic (2012). International Association

of Antarctica Tour Operators (IAATO). Retrieved from http://iaato.
org/cldocument_library/get_file?uuid=aedl054d-3e63-4a17-a6cd-
a87beb15e2878qgroupId=10157

International Maritime Organization. (2011, July 29). Antarctic foeloil

ban and North American EGA MARPOL amendments enter intoforce
on 1 August 2011 [Press Release]. Retrieved from http://www.imo.org/
MediaCentrelPressBriefingslPages/ 44- MARPO L-amends. aspx

Larson, S. (2012, May 11). More tourists head to Antarctica, affecting

the region's ecosystem and science. Peninsula Press. Retrieved from
http://peninsulapress.com/2012/05/11/ more-tourists- head -to-antarctica-
affecting- the-regions -ecosystem -and -science/

58
 Unit 2 • Part 2

The Secretariat of the Antarctic Treaty. (2011). Environmental protection.

Retrieved from http://www.ats.aq/e/ats_environ.htm

Shaik, A. (2010, May 4). Antarctic wanderlust. EJ Magazine, 2010,

Spring. Retrieved from http://news.jrn.msu.edulejmagazine/2010/05/04/
antarctic-wanderlust-a-booming-tourism-industry-may-harm-
earth%E2%80%99s-southernmost-continent!

Snyder,]. (2007). Tourism in the polar regions: The sustainability

challenge. The United Nations Environment Programme.

Tourists in Antarctica cause of major concern. (2009, December 21).

ScienceDaily. Retrieved from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/
12/091221130220.htm

Trathan, P. N., Forcada,]., Atkinson, R, Downie, R H., & Shears,

]. R (2008). Population assessments of gentoo penguins (Pygoscelis
papua) breeding at an important Antarctic tourist site, Goudier Island,
Port Lockroy, Palmer Archipelago, Antarctica. Biological Conservation,
141(12),3019-3028.

59
 Par t

3 Logical fallacies

Part 2 introduced how to develop controlling ideas using claims, evidence,

and explanations. It is essential that these arguments are developed logically.
Mistakes with the logical connections in an argument are known as logical
fallacies and should be avoided when writing an essay.

In general, logical fallacies result from:

1. overgeneralization - the reason and/or the conclusion are too broad to be
accurate.
2. irrelevance - the reason for the conclusion is not relevant.

Overgeneralization

1. Fallacy of division
The characteristics of a small sample are inaccurately transferred to a whole
group.

Examples:
Because the minister of finance was discovered to be corrupt, the public
should not trust politicians.

This argument assumes that because one politician is corrupt, all politicians
are therefore corrupt.

Since the majority of drug traffickers are foreigners, the government should
impose restrictions on the number of immigrants allowed into the country.

Not every foreigner is a drug trafficker, but the illegal actions of a few are
leading to demands for sweeping regulations for all foreigners .

..

60
 Unit 2 • Part 3

2. False cause

The cause of something has not been proven or cannot be proven.

Examples:
People are unemployed because they do not want to accept jobs which pay
low wages.

There may be many causes of unemployment, such as lack of job experience,

poor education, or few job opportunities. Essaytopics often deal with complex
problems which cannot be explained with one definitive reason.

The number of people visiting a psychologist regularly has increased

significantly since the introduction of Freud's theories at the beginning of the
twentieth century. This shows that psychotherapy is an effective treatment
for mental illnesses.

This argument claims that a rise in people seeing psychologists means that
psychotherapy is effective. However, this conclusion is an overgeneralization
about the cause of this rise. The effectiveness of psychotherapy often
depends more on the results of the therapy rather than the number of people
visiting therapists. Moreover, a rise in the number of people in therapy could
be attributable to a population increase, or perhaps an increase in stress in
people's lives.

3. False dichotomy

Only two options are presented, "either X or Y." However, in reality more
than two options exist.

Examples:
In order to prevent an increase in the number of road users, it is essential
to reduce public transportation fees. The alternative to a fee reduction is
congestion and delays resulting from an increase in traffic.

This argument presents reducing fees as one option, and the only other
option (or result) will be increased congestion. However, other measures to
reduce congestion are possible.

Those who are proficient English speakers are likely to be prepared for the
intense negotiations involved in global business, while those who are not
proficient at English are bound to succumb to the pressures of international
negotiations.

This argument assumes that there are only two types of people - a good
negotiator who is proficient at English and a poor negotiator who is not
proficient at English. However, such an overgeneralization ignores the other
skills necessary to be a good negotiator, such as the ability to think logically,
to empathize with one's counterpart, and to make proposals which may bring
agreement.

61
 Exercise 1 Identify the logical fallacy in the following examples.

1. Another significant teenage health issue the government should address

is alcohol consumption. Health care professionals report increasing
alcohol consumption among teenagers. This is particularly a problem
because in some cases it leads to violence, absenteeism from school,
and criminal behavior such as vandalism {Report on youth, 2004). \t is
important that the government increase awareness among young people
of the dangers that may come from excessive drinking. Without this kind
of preventative education, the problem will increase. Special government-
appointed health advisors in schools should provide detailed lectures to
all high school students which promote a better understanding of the
effects of alcohol on the human body. This should be supplemented by
an advertising campaign in which popular celebrities clearly explain the
reasons for the legal drinking age and highlight the negative effects of
alcohol on teenage bodies.

2. The increase in levels of violence portrayed in movies is well documented.

Furthermore, research by Wills and Stanford (2008) shows that in the
highest grossing movies of the 1990s, the immediate consequences of
violence were portrayed significantly less than in previous decades. They
conclude that "the role of violence in blockbuster movies moved from
a plot device to merely an additional element of entertainment." This
produced a kind of cultural desensitization to violence which led to an
increase in the number of violent assaults in urban areas during the same
time period.

3. One source of environmental damage is industrial pollution to rivers. A

2008 investigation by the Organization for Nature Protection described
the case of a large textile company polluting the environment. This
company was found to have released amounts of chemicals into nearby
rivers which were above the limits set by law. Examples such as this
demonstrate that more significant punishments need to be put in place
to make sure that large companies follow legal guidelines.

Irrelevance

1. Straw man

The opposing argument is represented inaccurately so it can be easily defeated.

Examples:
The reason that people support the decision to wage war is because they wish
to see the destruction of other countries.

This is an extreme representation of the opinions of people who support wars.

It is likely to be untrue. .

62
 Unit 2 • Part 3

Public works projects such as bridges, highways, tunnels, and dams are an
ideal way to keep a country's population employed. People opposed to such
types of government spending probably put nature over the welfare of the
population.

It is inaccurate to claim that those opposed to government spending on public

works projects don't care about people's welfare. They may simply believe
that this kind of spending is wasteful, and that there are better ways the
money could be used to keep people employed.

2. Slippery slope

The argument assumes that one thing occurring will inevitably lead to a
number of other things occurring.

Examples:
Taxpayers will suffer if the government increases wages for teachers because
it will eventually increase wages for every other kind of public servant. This
will cost a huge amount of money taxpayers cannot afford.

If the government raises teachers' wages, it does not automatically mean

that it will have to raise the wages of other kinds of public servants. The
argument would be improved if the conclusion was less extreme. It would
also be improved if it explained how raising wages of one group of public
servants could lead to pressure to raise the wages of other public servants
who feel they also deserve raises.

If same sex marriage is permitted, then soon traditional families will cease to
exist.

This argument assumes that if same sex couples are allowed to marry, it will
cause a chain of events that will make traditional marriages disappear. This
is illogical.

3. False appeal

An unrelated authority or reason is cited to support an argument.

Examples:
Children should learn to play soccer at school because it is the most popular
sport in the world.

Just because an activity is popular is not a sufficient reason to do it. Further

evidence should be provided (e.g., the possible health or social benefits of
playing soccer).

One way to improve education in high school is to replace traditional

textbooks with tablet computers. In fact, a survey showed that 95 percent of
high school students support such an idea.

63
 While high school students may have some valid ideas on how to improve
education, they may have a variety of reasons for wanting a tablet computer
not necessarily education related (e.g., to play games, to not have to carry
a load of books). There are other people who are likely to have more
knowledge on whether or not using tablet computers in classrooms would
actually improve education, such as educational researchers and teachers.

4. Circular reasoning

The conclusion is the same as the original argument.

Examples:
She was elected because she was the most popular choice among voters.

Being elected is the same as being most popular among voters. The argument
needs to explain why she is popular with voters.

Becoming bilingual should be a requirement for all foreign ministers, as they

will be able to speak two languages.

Speaking two languages is the definition of bilingualism. An explanation

of why bilingualism should be required by foreign ministries needs to be
provided.

5. Non-sequitur

There is no connection or a very weak connection between the reason and

the conclusion.

Examples:
The previous financial recession was caused by rapid inflation. Therefore, the
current recession cannot be the result of low wages.

The fact that a past recession was caused by one factor does not mean that a
current recession cannot be caused by a different reason.

Japan's population began declining as the country became more affluent

and more women became educated and career-minded. It stands to reason,
then, that with more wealth and improved educational and employment
opportunities for women, countries in Africa will experience a population
decline.

Population trends are caused by a complex variety of factors specific to a

country. It is not logical to assume that the circumstances in Japan will be the
same allover Africa.

64
 Unit 2 • Part 3

Exercise 2 Identify the logical fallacy in the following paragraphs and suggest a
way to improve the argument.

1. Figures from elementary school exams demonstrate that grades

in mathematics have been at a record low for the last three years.
Consequently, the Ministry of Education needs to make mathematics the
primary focus of elementary school education. Mathematics is necessary
for many important everyday tasks, such as purchasing goods, deciding
journey times, and checking salary payments. If young children are not
taught the foundations of mathematics, they will carry this weakness
over as they grow older, and after they graduate from school and enter
society, they will carry out daily tasks inefficiently, resulting in many
wasted hours of work time.

2. Major media companies are applying pressure on official legislative

bodies to impose stricter fines - and even prison sentences - on individuals
who download copyrighted material. Despite the argument from media
companies that current laws are not effective, increasing punishments
would be too extreme. There is a widespread consensus that the existing
legal boundaries are fair. Public opinion surveys from the past decade
demonstrate that between 60 and 70 percent of the population support
the existing copyright laws.

3. The evidence suggests that the most effective way to help a country win
more medals at the Olympic Games is to recruit children who show great
promise as athletes. These children could be placed in special training
academies, which would accelerate the improvement of their skills to a
world-class level quickly and effectively. However, some people disagree
with this proposal because they lack a sense of patriotism, as shown by
their lack of concern for their country's success in international sports
competitions.

4. Basketball has shown itself to be an enduringly popular spectator sport.

The appeal of watching basketball lies in the game's high scores. Sports
Eye magazine reports that an average of 83 points has been scored per
game over the previous five seasons (8). Fans enjoy watching teams score
continuously throughout the game. It is precisely these high scores that
attract fans of all ages to the sport.

5. One area in which zoos are particularly useful is for schoolchildren. For
instance, it is common for classes of children to visit zoos to get practical
experience which supplements what they are learning about in biology
classes. Indeed, many zoos offer discounts for groups of students in order
to encourage their use as an educational tool. Prices may be lowered by
up to 50 percent if groups of students are accompanied by a teacher. As
a result, children can receive information and education that they would
not be able to find in textbooks.

65
 Exercise 3 Identify the reasons and conclusions in the following arguments. Decide
whether or not they contain logical fallacies.

Example:
In a recent survey of university students, almost half reported spending
more time doing club activities than preparing for classes. Clearly,
university students do not feel that the information they are learning in
their classesis valuable.

Reason: Half of students spend more time on club activities than

preparation.

Conclusion: Students do not feel classesare valuable.

This is a false cause. The evidence does not provide reasons why students
spend more time on club activities. Some students may feel that the
contents of their classes are not valuable, but there are many other
reasons affecting how students choose to use their time.

1. The right of pol iceofficers to carry weapons becamea controversial issue

last week after the police shot and killed an unarmed man. It can be
argued that police officers require more training before they can be
allowed to do police work. Their current training has been shown to be
inadequate.

Reason: _

Conclusion: _

2. U.S. military spending accounts for approximately 40 percent of total

military expenditure in the world, more than four times the amount of
the next biggest country. This is why the United States is the strongest
military power in the world.

Reason: _

Conclusion: _

66
 Unit 2 • Part 3

3. Cycling is a less environmentally damaging method of transportation

compared to driving. Employees who cycle to work are more concerned
about environmental matters than people who live a similar distance
from work but drive to their offices.

Reason: _

Conclusion: _

4. Many companies have a policy of encouraging traditional styles of gray

and black clothing during the autumn season. However, fashion designer
Clare Hall believes that the pastel autumn colors are also suitable for
casual business environments. It is time for companies to change the
limited view of what constitutes appropriate business attire.

Reason: _

Conclusion: _

5. Many teachers in public schools are unhappy with their working

conditions, so if the government does not increase wages for teachers,
many of them will quit and search for jobs in other fields.

Reason: _

Conclusion: _

6. A rise in student exam scores over the last few years demonstrates that
these examinations have become easier.

Reason: _

Conclusion: _

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 7. Windows is a superior computer operating system because it is the
biggest selling and most widely used computer system in the world.

Reason: _

Conclusion: _

8. Four of the top 20 countries in Asia in terms of gross domestic product

(GOP) are Japan, China, Korea, and Malaysia. This shows how vital
exports are to this region of the world.

Reason: _

Conclusion: _

9. As the possibility of illegal music downloading has increased, revenues

from CD sales have dropped steadily. Therefore, music companies could
increase CD sales by convincing governments to introduce measures to
reduce levels of illegal downloading.

Reason: _

Conclusion: _

10. The U.N. has reported that industrialized countries waste 30 percent of
edible food annually while over one billion people living in poverty are
unable to get enough to eat every day. Reducing food waste will help
alleviate the problem of the starving poor.

Reason: _

Conclusion: _

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Par t

4 Concluding paragraphs

The concluding paragraph signals to readers that the essay is coming to a

close. An effective conclusion reinforces the essay's arguments and leaves a
positive final impression on the reader. In fact, the conclusion is often what
readers remember the most, as it is the last thing they read.

The concluding paragraph:

1. reminds the reader of the position in the thesis and the main points from
each paragraph.
2. leaves the reader with a final thought.

Below is the concluding paragraph from the essay on page 53.

I In the end, although science was the original reason for the constant
presence of humans in Antarctica, the allure of exploring what many
consider Earth's last natural frontier is attracting adventurous tourists in
increasing numbers. While the arrival of tourists in any part of the world
inevitably has its pros and cons, the potential negative effects of tourism
Position /
on Antarctica, from the disruptions of its wildlife to pollution of its soil
main points
and water, could be devastating to the delicate ecosystem. Despite these
concerns, tourism need not be stopped. Through cooperation and the strict
enforcement of rules, these issues can be overcome so both scientists and
tourists may satisfy their interest in Antarctica while minimizing their
\ effect on it. It is only with a concerted effort from all parties involved that
Final thought Antarctica's pristine environment can be preserved, rather than become a
casualty of human self-interest.

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 An effective final thought

The following techniques and examples show how effective conclusions can
be made.

1. Re-emphasize the importance of the issue or the position taken:

It is only with a concerted effort from all parties involved that Antarctica's
pristine environment can be preserved, rather than become a casualty
of human self-interest.

2. Make a prediction based on the facts:

However, if no effort is made to mitigate the harmful effects tourism is
causing on Antarctica, future scientists may be left researching
environmental destruction rather than environmental purity.

3. Make a recommendation for further action:

Ultimately, individual governments of countries from which tours originate
will need to take the lead and enforce harsher penalties to ensure
protection is not compromised for the sake of profit.

4. Assessthe value of the arguments in the essay:

Human presence is bound to alter Antarctica's landscape and ecosystem to
some degree, but exclusion is neither practical nor desirable. Therefore,
given the circumstances, coordinated efforts will surely help guarantee
Antarctica's purity can be explored and enjoyed by future generations of
scientists and tourists.

What to avoid in the concluding paragraph

The following information is not suitable in a concluding paragraph:

1. New information - the conclusion should focus on only the arguments

presented in the body of the essay. Any new information will distract the
reader and reduce the impact of the essay.

For example:
Global warming is sure to increase if nothing is done to protect Antarctica.
(No mention was made in the essay of global warming, so mentioning it
in the conclusion is inappropriate.)

2. Empty statements - avoid obvious statements that the reader already

knows and vague statements which do not say anything about the topic.

For example:
The evidence shows that tourism in Antarctica is a difficult problem.
(Most issues worthy of academic analysis are difficult to solve, so there is
no need to state the obvious.)

Nature is a precious resource that is important for everyone.

(This point is obvious and offers no further insight.)

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 Unit 2 • Part 4

Exercise 1 These concluding paragraphs relate to the introductory paragraphs in

Exercise4 on page 38. Write an effective final thought for each.

1. As the evidence shows, more companies which had traditionally been

seniority-based are switching to a merit-based system to determine pay
and position. While such moves are sure to initially create resentment
and fear among employees accustomed to a seniority-based system,
guaranteeing lifetime employment seems to no longer be suitable in a
global economy, where even formerly domestically focused companies
must bow to the pressure to be efficient and flexible in order to simply
stay in business.

2. In conclusion, Keynesian economic policy still seems to hold merit

in mitigating the severity of an economic recession. As has been
demonstrated, recessions are tending to last longer than before, due to
company and consumer behavior which is driven by the fear that the media
perpetuates. Therefore, it is apparent that future economic downturns
will likely require more radical and severe government interventions to
combat this fear before a turnaround can be realized.

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 3. Indeed, the far-reaching impact of hip-hop culture is due to a number of
factors which demonstrate its relevance to young people all around the
globe. While the marketing power of the hip-hop industry is evident in
the amount of money it generates, its appeal in regions as diverse as the
U.K., Myanmar, and the Middle East indicates that resistance to authority
and desire for change are themes common to youth everywhere.

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