As such, I genuinely attribute the largest portion of my

professional development to the research, reading, and

practicing of personal improvements I’ve done over the years.
That, combined with years of professional experience, has taught
me many lessons, some of which I’ve shared here. I assure you
right beneath the surface of these life lessons is insight that will
help you advance your career.

You’ll notice that while many items fall into categories of time,
accountability, effort, and people, most are related to outlook
and attitude—the two things that seem to transform everything.

Here are 34 Things Every 22-Year-Old Should Know

Let’s start with time, today, and the, uh, future you think you
see…

1) Treat every day as if it’s the first day of the rest of your life or
career.  I don’t care if it’s not Monday or January 1st.  The other
six days of the week or 364 days of the year work too.  This
means you get to box up all your so-called failures as if they
never happened.  Unfortunately, this means you box up your
successes too. The great news is that both of these actually
cause strain which you can now let go.  Every day technically is
a new beginning.

2) Time is NOT money. Time is time. Money is money. Lose one

and you can earn it back. Lose the other and it’s gone forever.
Does that sound like they’re equal?

3) “Five-year” plans have ruined more present moments than all

other distractions combined.  You’ll be far better off with fifteen-
minute plans.  Not only will you be more accurate a far greater
percentage of the time, but you’ll also rarely be disappointed in
the outcome because you’ll have far fewer variables go awry. 
Stay present.  You can only live life to the fullest in the moment. 
The past and future are mere distractions.  Enjoy the job you
have today.  You’ll be happier and it’s a nice stepping stone for
your future.

4) Learn how to say NO at the right times.  The faster you learn
this, the more happy days you’ll live and the more productive
your workdays will become.  Trust me.

Over time you’ll make lots of mistakes and “fail”… but, trust me,
everything you want is on the other side of fear.

5) You’ll make a lot of mistakes in your life. You’re better off

making those errors of commission rather than omission.  When
you look back, you’ll be much sorrier for the things you didn’t do
as opposed to those you did.  Along those same lines, it won’t
matter much the choices you make as much as it will the
conviction in which you make them. Be committed to everything
you do.  Take the job you want even if it’s “risky.”

6) Technically, I don’t believe there is any such thing as failure. 

Sure, the word itself is in the dictionary, but I’ve never noticed
one in my life.  Perhaps it’s because I don’t believe in what I look
at.  I believe in how I see it.  Even so, I’ll play along…the
embarrassment of failure is way easier than the responsibility
that comes with success.  If you think you can’t, you won’t.  If
you think you can, you will. Even if they don’t succeed, winners
still think they did.  It’s not delusional. It’s called mastering your
psyche. Never be afraid to try to do new things.  Everything you
want is on the other side of fear.

7) There is no such thing as failure—part two.  The only

exception to this rule is trying to please everyone.  You will
certainly fail at that.  That rule is bulletproof.  No exceptions.

All I need to do is pay attention and work hard and I’ll find the
success I’m looking for. Right?
8) Open your eyes and stretch your ears.  Something happens
every moment.  When you’re talking it’s impossible to experience
the moment.  It’s as if your brain shuts off when your mouth is
moving.  The only exception is screaming on the downslide of a
rollercoaster ride.

9) I tend to notice two types of people—those that are disciplined

and everyone else.  100% of the people in the first group
eventually become successful.  Some of the people in the second
group do as well.  Remember, what you do everyday matters
more than what you do once in a while.  Promotions don’t happen
because of one big success.

10) Hard work doesn’t guarantee results.  Smart work increases

the likelihood of good results.  Concentrate on what you do along
the way and embrace the journey with no attachment to the
outcome.  You’ll enjoy yourself more and likely have better
results.  You’ll also avoid disappointments that could result from
faulty expectations.  Technically speaking, any outcome that
didn’t occur the way you thought it would means you had faulty
expectations.  Faulty expectations arise for two reasons—you
can’t see the future and you developed those expectations
without all the necessary information. Don’t expect people to buy
the best product.  Don’t expect your boss to be fair.  Don’t expect
life to be fair.

11) Intelligence is overrated. Talent is really overrated. You only

need three things to be successful—Passion, Vision, and
Commitment. Contrary to what people think, you’re not born with
passion.  It’s grown.  Vision isn’t seeing into the future.  It’s
making the future happen the way you want it to.  Commitment is
the most important item.  It makes up for any shortcomings of
the other two.  Live every workday to the fullest.  When it’s over
think about how it’s moving you toward where you want to be.  At
any moment, don’t be afraid to change your career.
12) You can have endless dreams, but not endless priorities.  It’s
a great lesson for life, love, and upward management of your
boss.

13) School does not equal education. Going to school helps you

earn a degree. You know you have one when you can ethically
place the letters after your name such as Andy LaCivita B.S.er of
Everything.  If you have to pay for someone to teach you
something—anything—that’s not education. That’s paying for a
degree or certification or whatever. Real education occurs when
you do something you love for free or by the good graces of some
employer and get paid for it. No one can teach you more than
you. No one can teach you more than you. It was worth saying
twice.

14) Own your stuff. Take accountability. The world would be an

easier place to live if everyone did so. The word “fault” could be
eliminated from the dictionary. That’d make me smile because
then no one would be trying to assign it when they should first
look in the mirror.

People make the world go ‘round. Sometimes you need them and
sometimes you don’t. But, all the time, watch who you befriend…

15) You don’t need a mentor.  No one cares about your life or

your career more that you do.  You can outsource a lot of things,
but living your life isn’t one of them.  Managing your career isn’t
one either.

16) Leaders build more leaders, not more followers.  “A” players

hire and develop “A” players.  “B” players hire and don’t develop
“C” players.  Protecting your turf might last for a while, but when
your reign is over you’ll be far less developed for surrounding
yourself with less talent.  If you’re the smartest person in the
room, go find another room.
17) Keep everyone’s phone number—even the people you dislike. 
They might be helpful someday. If given the choice between
knowing the right person or having your MBA, remember that
friends hire friends before they hire credentials.

18) Never treat your subordinates poorly. I assure you someday

they will be working at company you’re trying to get into. It’s also
possible that someday you’ll be reporting to one of them.

19) Here’s an average for you. You become the average of the

five people you spend the most time with—especially at work.
Think about that.

Even if you did nothing I previously mentioned, staying true to

your instinct and keeping a positive outlook and attitude will set
you in the right direction…

20) Apply the transitive property often. It will lead you to

valuable deductions such as The More Things You Have In Your
Life = The More Upkeep = More Stress AND Just Enough To Make
You Happy > Never Satisfied = More Days You’ll Live Happily.  
Another one of my favorites is The More Bells & Whistles Your
Product Has = The More Complicated It Is To Operate = The Less
People That Buy It.

21) Always listen to your inner voice. It’s smart. It’s correct far

more times than the external voices you hear.  If the business
deal sounds bad, it likely is.  If it sounds good, but feels bad, it
likely is bad too.

22) Everything is as it’s supposed to be.  The sooner you accept

that, the happier you’ll be.  Everything that happens in your
personal and work life caused you to do certain things—for good
reason. Don’t believe me? Look back at your life or your career. I
guarantee there is a pattern that connects the dots. If you’re not
happy with the pattern, there are two things to consider. First,
you’re probably not looking hard enough. Second, your future is
spotless.

23) The more people who tell you something is wrong, the more
right you probably are.  The degree to which something is right
for you usually is inversely proportional to the number of people
who tell you it’s not.  It’s also easier to believe a lie you’ve heard
a thousand times than the truth you’ve heard once. Never
hesitate to follow your instinct and create a path for your life and
career.  If it feels like a bad idea in your gut, it is. There’s also no
need to confirm your gut with anyone else. Never feel the need to
subscribe to one of society’s pre-canned menu options for life or
work. We only grow as a society when people choose to be
different. You’ll never grow as a person without doing the same.

24) You will be happy because of what you think not what

happens to you. If you’re conditionally happy, you’ll have less
happy days. My way, you’re happy every day. Happy people
accomplish more, learn more, and are more fun to be around.
Someone once asked me, “How can you be so happy so often?” I
said, “Because I always think I’m happy.”  I’m always right about
that.

25) Experience doesn’t always lead to good judgment—gathering

all the facts and making completely informed decisions does.
Listening to another’s experience before you attempt something
can be helpful. But, remember, when they did that something
they did it without your one constant variable—YOU. Applying the
transitive property that I love, this means that you can’t
experience anything without actually experiencing it yourself.
What makes you think the outcome would ever be the same
when you insert yourself into the player’s seat? Different
variables lead to different outcomes—better and worse.

26) Life isn’t always fair. Over the long run, however, the
universe is incredibly balanced. Karma also has no deadline.
27) Patience is not a virtue. It’s learned. Don’t ever confused
patience with being worn down or not caring. They’re not the
same.

28) There’s no shame in quitting. Winners do it all the time. They

just know the right time to move on. It’s usually right before
things turn really sour. It’s also never before they’re about to
make a breakthrough. In that sense, timing might not be
everything, but winners sure know how to set a clock.

29) You get back what you give off. Sending good things out into
the universe and building a bank of goodwill is better than any
checking account with a seven figure balance.

30) Comparison is a recipe for mediocrity. If your goal is to be

“better than” someone else or you grade life on a curve, you’ll
never reach your true potential because you’ll feel you’ve
reached it when you’ve surpassed someone. Usually that only
means you’re leaving something on the table. Comparison kills.

31) When giving or receiving advice, remember that advice is

typically a person speaking to his or her younger self.  For
example, it took 30 items for me to realize my 46-year-old self is
dispensing advice to my long-gone 22-year-old self. Oh. And,
remember, free advice doesn’t cost you anything until you act on
it.

32) Question everything. Not in an insubordinate but an

inquisitive way. Once you know the “Why,” you’ve increased your
chance of fixing the problem by 87695%.

33) Nothing is original. I’m sure anything I’ve just written has
been written or dispensed before. Everything that needs to be
said has already been said. We just need it repeated because no
one was listening the first time. I think that happens because of
this recurring dream I keep having. I’m driving down a highway
 and see the big green town road sign on the right as I zip past.
The sign says, “Welcome To The Town of NO ONE CARES…
Population 7 Billion.”

34) If you never try you’ll never know. Not knowing is my biggest

fear. Only those willing to go too far can actually know how far
they can truly go. Life was meant to be lived. Don’t wait until it’s
too late to start.

1.
Kevin McCauley September 18, 2013 at 1:40 am - Reply

I love this, concise, to the point and irrefutable.

2.
Izumi October 9, 2013 at 1:27 pm - Reply

I just love this blog… Very nice work… Inspired me very much…
Today I became 22 and I hope I will be able to maintain at least

some of these really nice points 

God bless!!!

3.
Neve October 16, 2013 at 7:48 pm - Reply

I’m twenty-two, trying to find my place in life, and this article has
helped me see all I don’t need a place. I can do what I set my
mind to do. No matter what age. Thank you. =)

o
alacivita October 16, 2013 at 7:56 pm - Reply

That’s right Neve. Glad you liked it. Don’t ever forget

that because the world will try to make you… 

o
adelaoues April 12, 2016 at 1:51 pm - Reply
 hi there we arenow in 2016 you are properly 25 yold
its been 3 years from that time you read this blog im
asking you is it real im 22 and i’m lost very lost in my
life still studying no job nothing plz respond

4.
artofmoxie November 5, 2013 at 5:26 pm - Reply

Thanks for writing this, especially number 28.

o
alacivita November 5, 2013 at 6:03 pm - Reply

So glad you liked it! And, yes, winners quit at the

right time so they can move on to something

better. 

5.
Narges Mirrahimi November 11, 2013 at 9:25 pm - Reply

Very useful

6.
eli December 5, 2013 at 4:39 am - Reply

Wow..this helped me a lot!! Thanks to you. I’m turning 22 next

year, and im working since 18. This made me love my job even
more and ill be exploring the world.

7.
Rosa Cassandra December 28, 2013 at 7:24 am - Reply

Im officially twenty-two today & it was blessed that I found this

article on the right time. Num 17, I always remind myself to think
positive to whoever come and make a mess in my life.
Sometimes they keep on judging, but I keep in mind, its ok,
maybe someday they need me or I need them instead. Not now,
 but maybe someday, right? So I would be glad if I can share your

article on my blog. may I? 

o
alacivita December 28, 2013 at 10:39 pm - Reply

Hi Rosa, so glad you liked it! Of course you can share

it and link to it!

8.
Rosa Cassandra December 30, 2013 at 2:15 pm - Reply

yeay! Tqvm!

9.
Jessica Barnes Bishop January 28, 2014 at 10:48 pm - Reply

Wise words from a very wise man!

10.
alacivita January 29, 2014 at 12:13 am - Reply

Thank you Jessica. Those that know me say I smile a lot, but
your seven words planted my biggest smile today! Thanks so
much for the kind words and I’m glad you enjoyed the post!

11.
Ryan Rowan August 24, 2014 at 4:45 am - Reply

Absolutely great article. Most of us have been spoken to of this

advise/insights you have scripted at least once in our lives as you
said, BUT it’s up to us to listen and act upon. There is not one
way of getting things done, but every way will require the right
mentality. Very impressive blog.

12.
han September 13, 2014 at 6:14 am - Reply
 i start to feel it (i am 21) especially number 5, i will try my best to
do number 1, 2, & 24,

13.
Bhavin October 30, 2014 at 11:44 am - Reply

Some of the points, like the very last one, so true. I am currently
22 and honestly, afraid of taking risks. But your point makes
sense, if you don’t try it you won’t know it.

14.
Es December 17, 2014 at 2:51 pm - Reply

Thanks I learned a lot from this. I’m 22 i want to be successful

one day

15.
Niky February 2, 2015 at 4:19 pm - Reply

I am almost halfway through turning 22 but I am glad I read this

article today and now all my thoughts are confirmed here   

Thank you…

16.
Rieza April 14, 2015 at 12:02 pm - Reply

Hi Andrew,

I just want to let you know that i’ve just turned 22 (13 April
2015), and the night before D-day i was very depressed, mad,
angry and sad. Even i’ve tried to comitted suicide by strangled
my neck with a thin scarf but deep down i am still unsure about
it. Long story short, i gave a time to myself and googled “22
Years Old” – i’ve randomly clicked a link that appears to be your
blog, i’ve read it from point 1 to 34. Holy God, “everything you
want is on the other side of fear.” & “No one can teach you more
than you” had left me speechless. It was my turning point and
there’s a hope for me to stay alive.
 Thanks Andrew, The Universe Bless you.

o
Andrew LaCivita April 14, 2015 at 3:27 pm - Reply

Rieza,

First of all, I hope your troubles are something you

can overcome. Life is a blessing and should be lived
to its fullest.

Thank you too for commenting and sharing your

story. I’m thrilled I was able to help you in some way.
I’m truly glad my words have helped you and others
and it’s nice to hear that.

I also want to thank you for giving me inspiration to

continue writing. Regardless of how much someone
enjoys what they do, we all get tired from time to
time and it’s sometimes difficult to find the energy to
keep going. Whenever I need an inspirational boost,
I’m going to look at your remarks. They will help
keep me going. I hope mine keep you going as well!

17.
Sakshi May 30, 2015 at 8:10 pm - Reply

I loved everything written in this blog. This really cleared my

thoughts as well as it motivated me. Good work , thank you

o
Andrew LaCivita June 10, 2015 at 10:24 pm - Reply

Sakshi, thanks for the kind remarks! Glad you liked

it!

18.
sales representative September 10, 2015 at 4:25 am - Reply
 This website certainly has all the info I needed concerning this
subject
and didn’t know who to ask.

o
Andrew LaCivita September 13, 2015 at 4:03 pm - Reply

Glad to hear it!

19.
Acey October 4, 2015 at 2:38 pm - Reply

#2 blew my mind. Thanks for sharing, Andrew!

o
Andrew LaCivita October 4, 2015 at 2:43 pm - Reply

Glad you liked it Acey!!!

20.
Melissa October 5, 2015 at 10:30 am - Reply

Loved every second of this…heard some of them before, but I

guess I wasn’t listening the first time. Ha! Thanks for sharing!

o
Andrew LaCivita October 5, 2015 at 10:38 am - Reply

Thanks Melissa. So glad you found me and thrilled

you enjoyed the post!!!

21.
Bryon Brandt October 23, 2015 at 9:59 am - Reply

Pretty Good to Know at Any Age.

I’m struggling with Item 15 though, that we don’t need a mentor,

even if I agree with the part that managing our career is our
responsibility. As the people that I trust and have the highest
regard for, are those that answered the questions I didn’t ask,
but probably should have.

Like Item 19 says, we become the average of the people we

spend the most time with. And this I’d say is where I’ve made my
biggest mistake. I once heard it said that to become successful
you need one hand reaching down to someone you can lift up,
and the other reaching up to someone who can help you rise up.

I knew I could teach myself a lot, so I had both arms reaching

down, to help others up.
And while a lot of people have appreciated that assistance, that
lack of balance hurt me, when I needed some assistance too,
that wasn’t there.

So further comments on this “we don’t need a mentor” point

would be appreciated.

Thank You!

o
Andrew LaCivita October 25, 2015 at 4:02 pm - Reply

Bryon, first of all, thanks for reading and

commenting. Regarding your mentor question…

Mentors are wonderful if you can find someone you

trust and whose guidance is great. I think it’s more
of a nice to have than an absolute necessity in life.

The reason I feel that way is that no matter what

guidance someone can give you, your greatest life
learnings and lessons will be the ones YOU LIVE
rather than hear about.

While you might think you were hurt by not having

proper guidance (or someone lifting you up as you
 put it), I’m guessing that you are a much stronger
and wiser person for trying it on your own, making
the mistakes, and then correcting them!!

22.
Charm December 6, 2015 at 9:31 am - Reply

Glad to have come to this blog. Thank you for this!

o
Andrew LaCivita December 6, 2015 at 1:21 pm - Reply

Charm, I’m glad you found it as well!

23.
Royy December 15, 2015 at 1:54 pm - Reply

Am from Kenya n thats exactly wat i wanted to hear thanks…Jah

bless

24.
FNK. RSA. February 16, 2016 at 9:16 am - Reply

THANK YOU!

o
Andrew LaCivita February 16, 2016 at 10:26 am - Reply

You’re very welcome!

25.
joseh March 16, 2016 at 6:32 pm - Reply

Comment…from Kenya & boss u just nailed it what I was

searching for… glad found this

o
Andrew LaCivita March 17, 2016 at 11:17 am - Reply

Joseh, I’m glad you found me too!!!!

26.
Eric March 17, 2016 at 7:24 am - Reply

I am 22 turning 23 come June 18th. I was at the lowest point of

my life and i just googled, “22 years old” and bumped into this
amazing piece of work. It has changed my life and my approach
towards life and I feel so motivated and inspired. Thanks a lot. I
really needed this remedy and it just healed my soul. I’m never
looking back again, never giving up on my dreams, never letting
anyone look down on me and above all never comparing myself
to others. A new beginning. Thank you Sir!!

o
Andrew LaCivita March 17, 2016 at 11:18 am - Reply

Eric, you have no idea how happy that makes me to

hear your thoughts. I wrote this post a few years
back, but it continues to help people. Comments like
yours, whenever they come in, give me motivation to
keep going and keep helping others. For that, I thank
YOU!

27.
March 23, 2016 at 1:58 am - Reply

It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly
donate to this superb blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for book-
marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look
forward to fresh updates and will talk about this site with my
Facebook group. Chat soon!

o
Andrew LaCivita March 24, 2016 at 5:05 pm - Reply

Thank you! No donations necessary. I just hope you

enjoy the articles and share them!

28.
 precious kpenseme April 12, 2016 at 11:35 am - Reply

Thank u very much. U just gave me what I was looking for.

29.
yadanar August 14, 2016 at 1:19 am - Reply

Thanks so much… I am turning 22 today!!

o
Andrew LaCivita August 15, 2016 at 3:45 pm - Reply

Awesome. Glad you liked it!

30.
Yeonbyeol September 27, 2016 at 11:01 pm - Reply

Thanks!!! I’m in my glorious twenties… so thanks again !!!

o
Andrew LaCivita September 28, 2016 at 3:53 pm - Reply

You’re welcome! Glad you enjoyed it!

31.
Puna Tanii February 18, 2017 at 1:03 pm - Reply

Thank you so much.

o
Andrew LaCivita February 18, 2017 at 1:29 pm - Reply

You’re so well!!!

32.
Mae March 21, 2017 at 7:29 am - Reply

My son is struggling with life and is about to get married and has
a heart of gold and tries to please everyone and walks around not
really knowing what to do! I have been praying for my boy by the
 way just turned 22 and god sent me here! I sent it to him and he
loved it and inspired him! Thanks so much for saying all the
things a mother would like her son to know and be free to
experience!

o
Andrew LaCivita March 23, 2017 at 5:13 pm - Reply

Mae! You are so welcome and I’m glad you enjoyed

it!!!

33.
Joshua May 28, 2017 at 5:25 pm - Reply

Hi, just wanted to thank you for this list, I’ve seen hours of
motivational videos and looked at many life guides. Nothing has
yet summarized things better for me. I’m actually 18 but I really
want to leave my mark on the world and this helped my path to
getting less lost. The only thing I would add would be to Just
Start, this is how one learns the quickest and saves the most
time. The sooner you start, the sooner pieces start to fall in
place. Thanks again, -Josh

Andrew LaCivita May 29, 2017 at 9:37 am - Reply

Josh, so glad you enjoyed the post and thanks so

much for your kind words. You are wise beyond your
years and I’m sure you won’t have any trouble
staying on the right path. I know you’re already on

it. 

34.
Emily July 27, 2017 at 4:31 pm - Reply

Love love love this article! 20 minutes before reading I felt,

depressed, discouraged, and unlike my usual self. Those feelings
dawned on me when my 22 year-old self began comparing my life
 and its possessions to the successful middle/old aged people I
work for and with… and even people in my office building. But
this article was a wonderful reminder of why I don’t need to think
or feel that way. Because I am AWESOME and doing great at 22
years old. Thank you again for this article. I have added to my
“favorites” and plan to read often.

Andrew LaCivita July 31, 2017 at 10:50 am - Reply

Emily, you made my day. So glad you enjoyed it!

Matt August 26, 2017 at 10:28 am - Reply

Well, guess who’s 22 today?

Thank you for the piece.

Andrew LaCivita August 28, 2017 at 4:34 pm - Reply

Nice!

35.
Rais Qureshi August 31, 2017 at 12:17 pm - Reply

The BEST

o
Andrew LaCivita September 4, 2017 at 12:15 pm - Reply

Thank you so much Rais!

36.
Hemanth sunny November 6, 2017 at 6:47 am - Reply

Yes! I’m twenty-two. A passionate dreamer. Looking for my

dream to accomplish. But always got stuck in half-way of my
every dream. This blog teaches me to accept myself and
continue the path of hurdles. Even though it’s hard to start, it is
less likely to succeed. Never quit at any time. I am glad to read
 this one. By the way, I am HS. Soon I will start my first blog.
Hope you’ll see my stories.

o
Andrew LaCivita November 6, 2017 at 9:43 am - Reply

I hope so too!

37.
Ms. Sine Ken Nice April 19, 2018 at 12:49 pm - Reply

Today i’m twenty two.

I don’t know about my feeling.
I’m afraid, i’m happy, i’m proud and i’m sad too.
So i searched about twenty two years old and i found your blog.
It’s amazing ! I like your blog and i like your motivation.
I hope u can always write an amazing blog.
Thank you.

o
Andrew LaCivita April 21, 2018 at 4:14 pm - Reply

I’m so glad you found me! I will continue to do my

very best for you!

38.
Jennifer April 27, 2018 at 9:08 am - Reply

I’m 22, almost 23 and I’m going through tough days. While I was
reading each point I almost cried at work. You have no idea how
much your blog has helped me. Thank you so much.

o
Andrew LaCivita May 1, 2018 at 7:21 am - Reply

Jennifer, you have no idea how happy that makes

me!!

39.
 J.B May 23, 2018 at 6:00 am - Reply

Was reading your blog from last night up til now. Feeling so
thrilled to hear these lines… I’m 22 and was feeling confused ,
but I now realise words of encouragement can help a person to
get up after falling. But its up to that person to… I’m up now,
thanks to u Andrew.

o
Andrew LaCivita May 23, 2018 at 5:38 pm - Reply

J.B. Outstanding to hear my friend!

40.
Mitchell May 28, 2018 at 5:59 am - Reply

I be 22 today and already have a job and wanted to study, have

lots of planning, not much rest but mostly stay at home to avoid
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here in thid place that id Sydney in Au with them helping me.

41.
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Andrew LaCivita July 21, 2018 at 10:40 am - Reply

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Andrew LaCivita October 23, 2018 at 9:05 am - Reply

Thanks!

We have all looked back on our lives—for however brief a

moment—and wondered what if I would have known better at the
time?  Well, here are the 15 best things you can do for yourself at
22 years old!

For starters, I wish I would have had this nifty 22-Year-Old

Survival Guide with more than 150 lessons on how to get
everything you want out of your career and life. Grab it! 

I also wish when I was a 22-year-old I had a few more of the

ingenious inventions others created. I would have loved to have
email and a cell phone. It would have been especially handy if
the cell phone could house all my friends’ phone numbers.
Instead, I had to write them in an actual notebook (called a
phonebook). Of course, I lost that book (a few times) and it
wasn’t backed up to a cloud thingy like we have today.

Don’t even get me started on how there wasn’t an Apple Store I

could zip into to have a blue-shirted-tech-geek (proper term, not
derogatory) provide me with a new book with all the numbers
(none lost).

I was thinking the other day, what lessons could I share with

new professionals to get them started on the right track?

Network. I meant that as a verb. I also meant the “offline”

version as opposed to the abundant “online” version. I know
you’re just getting started, but imagine if you met one new
person every week for the next eighteen years and maintained
those relationships (in some capacity). Those 936 people will be
more valuable than any compounding interest you generate from
your investments (eh, keep reading). Those 936 will actually
introduce you to others and so on…compounding relationship
interest so to speak.

Network Part Deux. Hang on to everyone’s phone number, email

address, next of kin, favorite foods, and any other data you can
gather. You will need it someday. You’ll even need the
information from the people you don’t like. Trust me. (Feel free to
network online here.)

Network Part Trois. I have no idea why I’m using French, but it
seemed to be the thing to do since I went with deux for two. One
of the most important aspects of networking is actually providing
help before you need it. Start helping others as early in your life
or career as possible and don’t use a scorecard. Help people
because you want to help them, not because you need something
in return. The universe will take care of the repayment—likely
tenfold—if your heart is in the right place. The universe will
typically deliver the repayments using different couriers.

Be nice. That means to everyone, especially those who can do

nothing for you. It goes double for the subordinates you’re likely
to have in a few years. One benefit of many years of work
experience is knowing that if you work long enough you have an
estimated 67.58% chance of reporting to one of those
subordinates some day. (They also might serve as an
unsuspecting reference sought on your behalf thanks to the
networking and social sites.) I might be off the tenths or
hundredths place, but who wants to quibble? If you never need
them, you can take comfort knowing that you’ve generally been a
nice person.

Remain observant. There are absolutely no rules when it comes

to innovation and invention. You also need not many years of
work experience. You simply need “necessity” as the saying
goes (coupled with the passion and energy to see it through). If
you want something to make your life easier, more efficient,
more fun, or whatever, think about how to bring a contraption or
process or website into the world to make it happen. If
something already exists, look for ways to make it better or use
it in conjunction with your new inventions. Some ideas might
require extensive research and product development. Other
ideas might only require an iOS application.

Keep an open mind. The more you learn, the more you’ll realize
how inexperienced you are at so many things. The other thing
you’ll learn is there are loads others can teach you—no matter
who they are. I learn a lot from people in their twenties. That
stands to reason, because I also knew everything when I was
their age.

Collect memories not things. Things come and go. They wear out.
They cost lots to maintain. Memories can last a lifetime. Here’s
another way I like to look at this: Your entire past simply trains
you to live today—the only day you can live at any moment. Your
past is nothing more. Nothing less. I want to be trained not only
to survive, but also to enjoy every minute to the fullest.

Travel. See collect memories not things. Feel free to grab a few
mementos along the way. A few things here and there won’t hurt.

Balance your day. Variety is truly the spicy topping of life.

Variety should be applied to everything except having multiple
spouses (at least at the same time). If you learn to balance your
day between work and play as well as within work and play,
you’ll remain fresh and perpetually interested. Creatures of
obsessive habit get bored or burned out. Aside from my daily
exercise and social activities, I make sure to do a little part of
each aspect of my businesses—long-term marketing, short-term
marketing, sales, fulfillments, product development, writing,
networking, and so forth. Every. Single. Day. Try to work variety
into whatever you do. You’ll smile more often without effort.

Balance your diet. You’ll look better and feel better.

Enjoy what you have instead of pining for what you don’t have.
What you think about creates energy. What you think about you
bring about as a result of it. Cherish and appreciate all that you
have from a roof over your head to the people in your life. You’re
appreciation will set you on an amazing journey. Here’s a little
test: Do you know how many thank-yous, I-appreciate-yous, and I-
love-yous you’ve said in the last day? Do you know how many I-
can’t-believe-its or why’d-they-do-that-to-mes you’ve said in the
last day? Count ’em today. If you can change your rhetoric, you’ll
change your life.

Pursue your purpose in life. Although I want you to enjoy what

you have, I also want you to strive for what you want. That
means discovering what it is and working smartly, remaining
patient, and enjoying the journey until you get “there.” I’ve heard
many think successful people know how to delay gratification
effectively. I think that’s nonsense. Successful people never
delay gratification because they are gratified daily in their
pursuits. Check out How to Figure Out Your Purpose in Life in
Fewer Than 600 Words, 7 Signs You Found Your Purpose, and 4
Must Do’s To Fulfill Your Purpose.

Read. You don’t have to believe everything you read or

everything you hear, but reading will do you a tremendous
amount of good. It’ll help make you more knowledgeable,
mentally stimulated, relaxed, a better orator, a better writer, and
more focused. And, think about the entertainment value!

Save. This can be a little every day or every paycheck or every

month. If something goes into the pot without coming out, the
pot just keeps getting bigger. You get more financially
comfortable by accumulating dollars as opposed to spending
them. If you want to spend beyond what you’re earning, there
ought to be some extreme return on your investment. Keep in
mind, the most financially successful people never spend money
unless they see it as an investment into some aspect of their life
or business. This can be additional schooling, building a
business, or something of that nature. “Poor” people typically buy
things they can’t afford with money they don’t have to impress
people they don’t know or care about.

Don’t compare. Comparison kills. Even worse, it provides a lower

bar than what’s truly attainable for you or anyone else. Think
abundance as opposed to a zero-sum game. Think with no limits.
Comparison also leads people to be “realistic.” Being realistic
never changed anything. Being unrealistic does! Read Out of
Reach but in Sight: Using Goals to Achieve Your Impossible . I
give it away.
Make sure to grab The Ultimate 22-Year-Old’s Survival Guide for
Work and Life!

By Andrew LaCivita|August 3rd, 2016|College Grads, College

Graduates, College Students, Communication, Employees, Goal
Setting, Job Change, Motivational, Networking
Lukasz Laniecki, Constantly fighting inertia. Avid book reader.

Answered Apr 30, 2016 · Author has 2k answers and 2.6m answer

views
I was once 22 and I thought I knew what my career/fate in life is.
I didn't know for sure but I locked myself up mentally on this
career path that I randomly chose for myself and that I was on at
that time. And that, I think, was a really bad thing.

Actually it was much worse than your current situation.

I was probably just like you in that I thought that by the age of 19
or 20 I should have already figured out what I wanted to be when
I grow up and that those who haven't figured it out yet were
behind.

We have grown up, so the time has come for us to make this big
life decision.

None of us young people wanted to be left behind. So we all put a

lot of effort into figuring it out quickly.
There was not much time because our decisions were only step
one. Then we had to prepare ourselves - nobody would be
admitted to law or med school just like that.

We had to act fast.

Obviously, our parents offered their support and helped us

brainstorm ideas.

Basically, we had a menu from which we could choose. Lawyer,

doctor, manager, engineer, dentist, architect, teacher, nurse,
policeman - the basic / default options. Nobody even thought
about the future of jobs, let alone ponder new possibilities or
how each industry might be disrupted in 10, 15 or 20 years.

We had to pick something but we had no idea whether we will

like it or not. How on earth could anybody tell what was a good
or a bad choice. We never worked as a doctor, lawyer, etc. We
never had a chance to try them out for ourselves. All we had was
other people's (adults') opinions that was completely irrelevant
because it was what they did or didn't like and it was us, not
them, who needed to make that tough call.

Yet, we had to base our decisions on something. We needed

something else than only our vague image of each profession. So
we either listened to those recommendations and treated them
as absolutes or else all we were left with was our gut feeling and
our strengths/weaknesses analysis. I was not particularly into
math, so my parents said: "Maybe you should go to law school?
Lawyers usually don't have to worry about money and it is one of
those solid professions."                   

Neither I nor my parents had been lawyers before so we basically

had no idea what we were talking about. All we knew back then
was that this was the time and that I had to make up my mind.
Obviously, there was a lot of anxiety because we young people
knew (that's what we've been told) that we must choose wisely
for our future depends on it.

We knew that one could change his mind and switch majors, but
to us (and to our parents) doing it was unthinkable. We feared
that when we switched halfway through our first choice we’d
waste all those years of study and put ourselves behind
everybody else.

For us locking ourselves up in that profession was almost a

natural thing to do, a “normal” course of action. It was what we
were supposed to do after graduating.

It was all due to this incredibly harmful myth that you choose
your profession early in your life and you stick to it.

Later, when I found out that one of my friends switched majors

halfway through her first choice I simply couldn't believe it and I
felt for her.

I can't tell you enough how badly broken this thinking was.

What I can tell you is that I switched careers twice in my life so

far and I know it’s doable at any time if you’re not satisfied with
the path you’re on, and, of course, if you haven’t locked yourself
up mentally in your current role. Prior to that I had spent 10+
years on legal education and apprenticeship so the investment
bias (aka sunk cost fallacy) was definitely against me.

Stay openminded.

Don't lock yourself up early in your life in one career.

Test, test, test.

Don't rush to settle.

Don't be afraid to break out of the pack.

Don't let others define success or happiness for you - define them
yourself.

If you’re not satisfied with the path you’re on, rewrite your future.

14.9k Views · View 53 Upvoters
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Garrett Bai, Lived abroad for a long time

Answered Apr 24, 2016 · Author has 83 answers
and 456.7k answer views
Nah, it's not a bad thing. More frustrating is:

a) Being corralled into a career/lifestyle that seems like "what

you're supposed to do," only to find that you hate it and/or aren't
particularly good at it. "My parents forced me to be a doctor even
though I can't stand the sight of blood."

b) Settling for something boring but safe. "Numbers make my

head hurt, but at least being an accountant pays the bills."

c) Settling for something cool that doesn't provide a viable

lifestyle (i.e. doesn't pay). "Everybody told me that if I really like
spinning glowsticks, then I should just be a full-time glowstick
spinner! I'm living my dream! Also I don't know how I'm going to
pay rent next week."
If you fall into one of those categories, the good news is that
your life isn't over. But if all you've got is "I haven't done anything
yet," then the only mistake you've made is that you haven't been
making enough mistakes! The best, most life-changing decisions
happen when you're not sure whether you're going to excel or fall
on your face.

But you gotta try stuff

Everyone is just faking it at first. But after you've tried a few

things, you'll start to get an idea of what you enjoy, what you
hate, what you're good at, and what you can get paid for. You
might find that you're really really good at one thing and can
become a super-specialist (like an upper-left ear neurosurgeon),
but what's more likely is that you'll realize that you have different
skills that you can layer together. Those will add up and lead you
to a lifestyle that you maybe never even considered before.

For example, I have a friend who is great at organizing parties,

loves dressing up and being formal, speaks Chinese, and loves
cars (well, actually she just loves expensive things)... Even
though she started with no idea of what she was going to do, she
bounced around between different jobs before coming to be an
event organizer for a major European car company in China. She
didn't know it before she found it, but she now has her dream job.

So don't worry about not knowing what to do right now. Just

please please please try things.

15k Views · View 43 Upvoters
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Awa Melvine, Student in the School of Life

Answered Nov 9, 2016 · Author has 105 answers
and 224.9k answer views
It’s not a bad thing at all to not know your career/fate at age 22.

You know why? Because 22 is an age of youth, of energy and

enthusiasm. And Oluwaseun Oloruntegbe said it right in his
answer to this question, “it is the time to start living.”

By ‘start living’, it means to start planning, reading, serving

people or society in any way you can while in the process
sensing what your talents are.

If you have a passion and all it takes to pursue it, fine! Go after it
with everything you’ve got. But don’t be limited by the popular
yet often deluding idea of “following your passion.”

Following your passion only makes work easier and more fun and
very few people discover their passion early enough. It’s
dangerous advice. What if you haven’t found your passion by age
50?

One thing we often forget about human beings is that we have an

incredible ability to adapt to almost any conditions.

So when you start out on your quest for a career/purpose, do

anything you lay your hands on and do it with maximum
commitment. In time you will come to love it. Even if you don’t,
you can move on to the next thing a lesson wiser that you were
before. The adventure goes on!

Just don’t be a pessimist. Everything will be fine. You will realize

in the end that you exaggerated the fears, doubts and worries.

See life like an adventure. Let the failures and uncertainties

spark curiosity and a sense of adventure in you rather that bug
you down in despair. Seeing that you asked this question, you are
already curious. Do not relent your efforts.

17.5k Views · View 41 Upvoters
Vinay Raghavendran, I have lived, thus I am
Answered Sep 13, 2016 · Author has 245 answers
and 496.6k answer views
If we all knew what was in store for us, would you work towards
it?

A key point to be noted here is that life is uncertain. It is the

uncertainties that enable you to get up, dress up and get going.
Where is the fun in knowing you’ll reach point X from Point A?

Most people do not accomplish a thing until they are almost

thrice your age..

Take for example:

Charles Darwin:

He was 50 years old before he published On the Origin of the

Species in 1859, the book that espoused the theory for which he
best known today. (The Darwin Awards came much later.)

Samuel L Jackson:

Jackson 46 years old (and in recovery from addiction to cocaine

and heroin) before he starred alongside John Travolta in Pulp
Fiction.

Harland Sanders:

Sanders was "a failure who got fired from a dozen jobs before
starting his restaurant, and then failed at that when he went out
of business and found himself broke at the age of 65," according
to one account. But then things worked out when he sold the
first Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise in 1952.

Most go unaccomplished..

Only a few make it to the top rungs at an early age.

Mark Zuckerberg, 32

Worth: At least $50 billion

How he made his billions: Facebook.

Lukas Walton, 29

Worth: At least $11.2 billion

How he made his billions: After his father, John Walton -- son of
Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton -- died in 2005, Lukas Walton
inherited a sizeable portion of the estate. Most of this fortune
was once thought to belong to his mother, Christy Walton, but
recent information reveals Lukas Walton was the beneficiary
with the higher share.

Dustin Moskovitz, 32

Worth: At least $10.5 billion

How he made his billions: Another young'un gilded by Facebook's

popularity, Moskovitz worked on the site in its early stages with
Zuckerberg. He went on to co-found Asana, a maker of project-
management software for business.
None of them knew their future and they all did great! It is all in
you to prepare yourself to face any challenges in life and
embrace them.

Good day..

9.2k Views · View 23 Upvoters

Anonymous
Answered Jul 1, 2015
I am in the same place. I found this question because I just had a
panic attack over my career/future and googled "22 and don't
know what to do." I'm working for my dad's company and
graduated from the university of michigan last year. I don't know
why it's so fucking terrifying not knowing what to do at this age
but it is. I personally want to be a writer, need to be a writer. But
what am I supposed to tell my family/friends? I'm just going to
waitress until I publish a best-selling novel? It sounds absurd.
Especially when I have a degree and good resume and plenty of
'potential.' I don't know how on earth to achieve my one and only
passion (I know I was put on this earth to write and create
stories even if I sound ridiculous right now because I just had
such a terrible panic attack). So I guess I'm saying if you ever
figure out the answer please let me know. Or at least know that
there's someone else out there feeling just as uprooted.
2.4k Views · View 8 Upvoters

Petros O
Answered Apr 24, 2016
Of course it's not.

So many people have found their true passions later in life, to the
point that 22 doesn't begin to scratch the surface of any sort of
limitation. You're young, and you don't know where you belong
yet. And that's okay–not alot of people do.
Just keep searching. Read a new book about a strange and
unique subject. Immerse yourself in different hobbies and (if
possible) college/online courses to see what interests you most.
But make sure that whatever you do, no matter how difficult,
makes you happy. That's all it really boils down to. If you try to
settle for something for convenience's sake, you're likely to end
up where you don't fit. Finding what you love to do can take time,
and it might not be easy, but it's worth it.

Godspeed.

2.2k Views · View 5 Upvoters

Oluwaseun Oloruntegbe, Appreciate life, appreciate love,

appreciate people
Answered Apr 24, 2016 · Author has 333 answers
and 1.7m answer views
16-22 years of age are the temp years. Nothing permanent really
happens between those years. Now is the time for you to start
living rather than just existing. Explore your options, switch jobs,
learn vocations, volunteer, travel (summer jobs abroad), date,
open up yourself and be humble. With time you'll either find what
works for you or stumble on it. Don't try too hard forcing yourself
to fit in, don't overrate yourself and your abilities either. Be
realistic, start small, save, work hard..I.can go on. All I want to
say is you're not late. Your life only starts now. Live it to the
maximum. Be happy, but never use happiness as an excuse to
avoid responsibility. Don't buy into the holywood attitude of 'if it
doesn't make you happy, replace it'. It might not make you happy
now but might be preparing you for a lifetime of happiness and
comfort. Do your best, never give up. You'll soon find yourself, it
takes work. Build yourself into someone you'll want to be with
5.2k Views · View 13 Upvoters

Jamila Brown
Answered Apr 24, 2016
No, it's not a bad thing. For starters you're still young. I'm only 20
and when I was in high school it seemed like everyone had their
lives figured out and it was depressing because I was flip
flopping between wishing I was more like them and had taken my
education seriously and just not interested in anything career
wise. I was content to watch videos on my computer all day
because I just couldn't make up my mind about what I should do. 

You say you haven't achieved anything in your life that's made
you proud and I truly doubt that. When I was younger I decided I
wanted to be a writer based on a response from my classmates
after reading aloud a story I wrote. It was that one moment  that
really made me believe that I could be a writer. Not my penchant
for reading and creativity, but that one moment when someone
else applauded something that I thought was just for my own
pleasure. 

I guess I'm trying to say, think back to a time when you were
happy, and when that thing you were doing also made others
happy. And I know everyone will hate me for saying this, but my
faith (I am a Christian) has made me feel really good about
myself so that I know that my dreams are valid. Admittedly, I am
planning to major in something that has nothing to do with
writing, but it's a nice profession that I can live comfortably
doing and take care of my parents and maybe even write on the
side.  So that makes me-- and everyone else that matters-- happy.

1.9k Views · View 3 Upvoters

Arvindh Sarangapani, former Assistant Manager Operations at

CAMS (2016-2018)
Updated Nov 19, 2016
I am 25 and just found a path.I was never strong in in my
education in school. I am an engineering drop out and wasted 3
years on that. Life wasn't easy at all during my 17-24. I enrolled
into BBA and MBA later on and just completing it. Even 3 months
ago I was not sure of which career path I am going to choose. I
was wondering whether I am going to be a HR professional or
finance professional or marketing professional. I had a couple of
job offers in HR and Marketing.Finally I ended up choosing none
of them. I got a job in operations in Mutual fund. How ever I am
happy about the job as I saw the Job description and I have a
good salary package too. I made myself clear that I am good at
what ever I put my mind into. I completed 2 certifications in that
field and I haven't even joined yet.

So its just a matter of few days or few months to find a path. 22

is very much a young age. You still have a lot of time to establish
yourself in your career. If you have a degree in hand, start
working. If you havnt completed any degree, you still have a
great chance. You see me right? When I can, why cant you? One
thing I would like to say about myself proudly is I am a confident
person and never give up on my life. Show the same attitude, you
will always find a way for sure!

3.4k Views · View 12 Upvoters

Zubin Mahernosh Darbari, Chemical Engineer, wannabe scientist

& Human at heart.
Answered Apr 29, 2014 · Author has 448 answers
and 712.2k answer views
The main thing is what interests you, what is your passion. It
might not be necessary that your biggest passion be your job, but
any thing you can enjoy doing your whole life. Mostly people are
tired because there is no novelty in life or work, if you cannot
find novelty in work, try novelty in life. Do things in life you have
never done before, need not to be expensive, try making food,
organizing event on some friends special ocassion(B'day,
anniversary, marriage, etc). Most importantly hang around kids
because they have no limit to imagination and they will give you
a positive vibe. Many people have their goal fixed what they want
to do from quite early. I myself knew I wanted to be in
Engineering or research science field since I was 12-14 years
old, not to discourage you but that was taught in school, I
wanted to find answers to questions and science gave me thus I
got hooked up to it. You might be a more artistic guy you
mighthave ot come across/tried anything you might like because
education system does not gave that opportunity to you. You
might like DJing, dancing or any other thing, let yourself free.
Don't be depressed.[ If U are Indian, you might know a guy named
Rajnikanth. He was busconductor till he was 30 then got a break
in movie and is so popular he is treated as god in Southern India.
If not there is Steve Jobs as well]
4.8k Views · View 4 Upvoters

Pooja Mehta
Answered Aug 30, 2016
No it’s not bad thing atleast you know that you have no idea
about which career really you want to choose. You are the only
one who is suffering from this situations there are many people
like you. You need to sit with a career mentor who can figure it
out what actually you want to do in your life boost your
confidence and nourish your talent to excel in your life. Get
planed your success and don’t hesitate in asking help when you
feel confused in life.

May be some people might think that career mentoring is just a

waste of money and anyone can plan for their own life. But
studies shows that mentoring will help you to achieve your life
goal in planed way. Here is one start up Tech-a-mania is a great
started by a SRM graduate Mr Nakul to enriching the education in
India. They are providing career mentoring and soft skills
development training all over the India . And helping student for
choosing their career wisely.

109 Views · View 3 Upvoters

Ian Sawyer, Interested in learning about pretty much anything.

Answered Apr 29, 2014 · Author has 5.6k answers
and 4.9m answer views
It's neither good nor bad, it simply means that you haven't yet
found a career which you're both good at and like.  There's
certainly time for that to happen, but perhaps taking a good
aptitude test might help point you in the right direction.  

My son was slightly older than you before he knew what he

wanted to do in life, and although he did leave school and college
with basic qualifications, they weren't brilliant - he was far from
academic - and he settled for a job on the basis that it was the
best of a bad lot of options.  However it made him realise what
he enjoyed and didn't enjoy doing, and to cut a long story short,
some 12 years later he has a degree, two professional
qualifications, is working towards his masters' degree and has a
senior management position in a fast-growing company pulling in
a good 6-figure (in US$ terms) salary.

Never give up, and remember, it's never too late to find out what
you enjoy and what you're good at.  I hope that helps...
10.5k Views · View 43 Upvoters

Shalmali Kulkarni, worked at Johnny Rockets

Answered Sep 13, 2016
At 22 not knowing where you going to end up is just a very
normal thing, no need to feel any different about that. This just
proves you are a very normal person and you should feel good
about that. Being normal is perfectly fine at this age.
Since you do not currently know what you are going to do, you
can explore a lot of options. I do not know if you are working or
studying, but in either case, try to do something that you may
never have thought before, take a different course ,learn
something new. If you are working, still learn something new,
something you wanted to but never did. Once you do that, try
working freelance see if you can make money and enjoy
that.Don't be afraid to try out different things.

If you try something different and don't like it , take up something

else. If you try enough things you will find thing you like and will
not have any regrets about not trying those other things. With
enough hard work and time investment you should be able to
achieve success you are in search of.

What is the fun in knowing everything beforehand? You are the

creator of your fate (such an old line but still true).

Try not to worry about your future and live your life.

1.3k Views · View 5 Upvoters

Say Keng Lee, Knowledge Adventurer & Technology Explorer in

Optimum Performance Technologies
Answered Apr 25, 2016 · Author has 9.7k answers
and 13.5m answer views
To cut to the chase, the crux of the matter is not whether it's a
bad thing.

It's what you are going to do about it!

If I were you, I would go to the net to down these two freely

available self-assessment tool:

1. Personal Interests Inventory;

2. Career Directions Inventory;
You may even want to do a few different ones just for the fun of
it.

They are not rocket science, but at least, upon completion, you
are likely to get a rough sense of your interest and career
inclinations.

With the fresh insights, you can start to take a close look at the
larger scheme of things in your life, by setting goals and
achieving goals in your life.

I append herewith a simple execution template for you:

Say Keng Lee's answer to What is the best format to write a

detailed plan for reaching some major goal?

9.3k Views · View 7 Upvoters

Catherine, Finance graduate with a quest for broader knowledge

Answered Apr 24, 2016 · Author has 83 answers
and 70.7k answer views
Hi, I'm in the same situation as you. Few people know for certain
what they prefer in terms of work even in their 40's; people
question their choices all the time. The link below briefly
explains that the career paths aren't linear, and even looking
back on history many people have had a great variety of
experiences.

Investing in skills and relationships is crucial, the first is for

actually being considered for employment while the second may
help you find a job, but more importantly support you through
life's rough patches. As for achieving something your proud of,
pick a goal and break it down in smaller manageable steps. For
me, it was earning my first full time job. Good luck!

Jing Ju, now or never

Answered Apr 29, 2014
Thanks for asking this question for me. I just graduated from
university. Now I am doing the job which I can do well but not
sure whether I like it or not. I can't find my passion. But it's not a
tough job for me. I can find my sense of achievement here and I
still have a lot of my personal time which I have no idea how to
make it meaningful, cause I dont know where my passion lies.

But I guess, no one can lead me to an ideal career. It all depends

on myself. I must try a lot and fail a lot to truly understand
myself. So let's just take a move.
53 Views · View 1 Upvoter

Anonymous
Answered Apr 24, 2016
RELAX.You're going to be fine.Just because you don't fit with the
social classification ,of what should be achieved by what age
group doesn't make you a failure.You are young,you have all the
time and energy,you can do anything you want to,but to do that
you need to know what you really want.What you don't want is sit
idle wondering what happened wrong,move around,explore.

Just get up and move,do something with your life,don't let it

become stagnant.

3.9k Views · View 8 Upvoters

Anonymous
Answered Apr 30, 2014
The rule is simple, think yourself as Product of Tomorrow but not
output of yesterday. Start analyzing yourself and discover what
you love and like. Set your targets and progress towards them,
after all its better to be late then never.
Find your potential abilities and groom them, its just that you
need to discover them.
3.9k Views · View 3 Upvoters

Jared Anwyl, System admin|25+ year rock climber|Arduino user|

run http://www.cutcordinfo.com
Answered Sep 13, 2016 · Author has 3.3k answers
and 2m answer views
I wanna say that the last 15–20 years of work is the most
important, when you are saving and really trying to buckle down.
The beginning of your career you are trying to afford a house, car
and toys (boat, furniture for your house, camper) and also trying
to figure out if you want to keep pursuing the career that you
have chosen and gotten a bit of education for. So I would say its
not a bad thing, take the time to figure out what makes you
happy because chances are you will be doing it for a long time.

1k Views · View 1 Upvoter

Adam Sterling
Answered Jun 19, 2014 · Author has 74 answers
and 307.2k answer views
Not knowing is a beautiful thing.  

Think of the possibilities it opens!

With each certainty, the spectrum of what is possible narrows.

Rejoice in not knowing.

Revel in it.

Discover.
3.1k Views · View 8 Upvoters
Tom Margolis
Answered Oct 9, 2014 · Author has 2.3k answers
and 664.7k answer views
It's terrible! You've failed in life.  Press "Restart".

And now that you have your answer, you can let go of striving for
superficial goals and start focusing on developing inner peace
and wisdom. I suspect achievements that you can be proud of
will follow... Best of luck to you :-)
59 Views · View 1 Upvoter

Maria Madrid, Web Addict

Answered Jan 14, 2015 · Author has 280 answers
and 277.5k answer views
Not at all. You are still young to figure out what to do in life. In
terms of career, some people even change jobs past 40. But in
relation to jobs, this might help, Best Job Match Tool - PayScale.
495 Views

Greg Prasker, Greg Prasker is a sales executive and recruitor

extrordinaire. http://gregprasker.brandyourself.com/
Answered Oct 9, 2014
It's not a bad thing at all. Take it from me. I'm 35 years old and
have gone many different directions throughout my life. Finally,
last year, I figured out that I am a healer and hypnotherapy is my
calling. I am finally happy with life and look forward to every day
of helping people better their lives.
730 Views

Steffan Clarke, studied at University of Otago

Answered Jun 19, 2014 · Author has 462 answers
and 470.5k answer views
No.

Also, don't combine career and fate with a '/'.

837 Views · View 1 Upvoter
Related Questions

Lessons for my 22-Year Old Self: Part 1

You don’t have to know what you want to do with your life at age
22- heck some of us don’t even have it all figured out by 30! Yet,
it’s a worthwhile exercise to put together a plan and capture your
thoughts at this specific moment in time.

For some (like me), at age 22, we’re just graduating college and
heading back home to Mom and Dad’s for good home-cooked
meals and an uncertain future. There will be a reunion with our
high school friends. Fun times at the local, er, establishments — 
the ones we weren’t quite of age to visit during our college years.
The creation of a resume, hundreds of applications to entry-level
jobs and a few odd jobs in between.

Yes, age 22 is one heckuva time to be alive. It’s a defining time

for those who just graduated college and a turning point for those
who have worked for the previous four years since high school.

I’ve coached high school boys basketball for six years and helped
mentor and follow the progress of many of these nascent young
men in their years following high school. I’ve also served as a
mentor to recent college graduates in the workplace, helping
them acclimate to their new environs by providing them with
coaching and empathetic guidance.

I know what it’s like to struggle in jobs that are poor fits and
question what it is that I want, while still trying to have fun. At 22
most of us are trying to find our way in the world and figure out
all the things about life that we surely didn’t learn from a school
textbook.

My Lessons
It wasn’t too long ago that I was experiencing the emotions of
doubt, fear and low self-confidence as I tried to assimilate into
the workforce following my graduation from college. I remember
these moments vividly because they served as valuable teaching
points that helped me to pivot from an unsure novice to an
experienced professional.

I benefited from mentors and managers who took the time to help
me and teach me how to do my job. I steadfastly increased in
emotional intelligence, tact and workplace efficiency.

Much of what I am today was cultivated through the experiences-

both good and bad- during my career. Particularly, the first five-to-
seven years of my professional career and graduate school. I can
assure you, it’s not so-much the subject matter or knowledge of a
particular industry or project that sticks with me.

Rather, it’s the life lessons, interpersonal skills, self-awareness

and confidence that I earned through intellectually challenging
moments and times of adversity.

This time of year serves as an annual renewal of the mind and

spirit, as well as a period to reflect on the progress we’ve made
since graduating high school, and for some of us, college and
graduate school.
 I read recently that some of the world’s most successful people
always carry a notebook with them. Ever since I was in middle
school, I have done the same thing. Maybe it’s the writer in me,
but I live by the great Ralph Waldo Emerson’s words:
“Thoughts rule the  world.”

Thoughts, ideas and inspirational suggestions can pop into our

minds at different intervals during the day. Many of us are so
busy, we often concern ourselves with other tasks and forget a
brilliant idea. There’s no way you’ll forget if you’re cognizant
enough to write it down. Just make sure you don’t forget the
notebook.

In an effort to help many recent graduates and those of you still

looking to find your place in this great, big world, here is part one
of a series of five lessons I wish I could tell my 22-year old self.

Unfortunately, I can’t tell my 22-year old self. He’s lost

somewhere in the space-time continuum. These lessons are
better suited for you anyway. Besides, I don’t have a DeLorean
like Marty McFly did in Back To The Future.Oh, never mind. You
may not get that reference.

Just remember, the 80s were awesome!

Lesson #1. Begin to Build Your Network

The age-old line, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” is
not all truth but, it does carry some weight. Dating back to my
adolescent days, I observed through the selection of players for
AAU basketball teams, Little League all-star teams and student
government elections that talent- in any form- often did not
matter as much as being “well-connected.”

When I got to college, midway through my sophomore year, I took

part in an awesome networking experience with alumni from my
school. It was called, “The Wall Street Experience,” and it gave
me the opportunity to meet executives from Lehman Brothers
(you won’t be able to work there!), Merrill Lynch and (my favorite)
specialist firms from the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE).

One of the alumni who I met, was an extraordinarily kind and

generous man who worked for one of those specialist firms.

Several months later, in March of my sophomore year, I followed

up with that man to express an interest in working on Wall Street.
I didn’t even know what that meant. But I liked what I saw on the
networking tour and I decided to find out. That conversation later
led to another conversation- or should I say, a talk at the end of
April. It went something like this:

Me: Hello?

Man: Hi, Chris. You got it.

Me: Hi, uh, Sir! Uh, huh?

Man: Yeah, we got you a gig this summer on the floor (of the
NYSE). See you in a month (Click).

That man was calling with a gift: a summer internship that would
pay $10 per hour and allow me exposure to the ground-level of
financial transactions on the floor of the NYSE. It was a seminal
experience, one that was far from earned.

Opportunity opened its lucrative doors to me because of the

school I attended. I’ve taken that lesson with me everywhere that
I’ve gone, by nurturing personal and business relationships at
every turn.

I realized right there that building a network of friends and

professional colleagues would help me, regardless of which
direction I decided to go in. I remain a very active “networker” as
I’m always trying to gain an advantage either in the form of a new
idea or via someone who can help me advance my writing or
coaching career.

I return the favor to young alumni, friends and business

colleagues by passing along advice, guiding them to friends who
can help and by sharing lessons learned from my career. It’s a
reciprocal relationship. And as much as I’ve benefited from those
who have given to me, as the Christmastime saying goes, “It’s
better to give than to receive.”

Bottom Line-  My advice to you, is this: Try your best to meet (in-
person) the most successful people in the field or profession
where you hope to work. Especially when you’re young, never
pass up an opportunity to meet a person of influence for coffee or
lunch. If it is too difficult to get an in-person meeting, strive to
send an e-mail or make a phone call. Have the courage. It’s well
worth it.

The information you learn or, the opportunity that presents itself
could alter the course of your life.

What do you think?
If you enjoyed reading this, please be so kind as to click on the
adorable green heart, and let me know what you have to say! And
if you’re really feeling lucky, please consider following me here
on Medium! Thank you so very kindly for reading.

If I could turn back time, if I could find a way... -- Cher, American

singer and actress.
I’ve always lived a fast-track life. I graduated from high school at
16. Undergraduate at 19. MBA at 21—the youngest at that time at
the University of Colorado. At the rate I was going, I should really
be retired by now and playing bridge in an assisted living facility.

People have asked me, “What was your hurry?” I lived my life like
I was running a race. I got bored if I stayed in one place too long.
I was always pushing for the next goal. I was perpetually on the
move. Pushing to accomplish “it,” without ever defining what “it”
was.

By the time I was 26, I was a divorced, single mother.

While I have little to regret and love where I am in life today—a

successful 22-year career as a professional speaker and a
happily (re)married mother of three children—if I were 22 again
and knew what I know now, I'd face the world with a slightly
different mindset. Just about any of us would, I suspect; we all
have things we know now that we wish we'd known then.

But for what it’s worth, I hurried due to a mountain of fears and
expectations that had blocked me from feeling fulfilled in my life:
my blind pursuit of success, my overwhelming sense of
obligation, and my deeply held fear of failure. Here are a few
things I would tell my 22-year-old self—and any other young men
and women entering the working world who might be willing to
listen.
1. Slow down a little. Your drive will definitely get you places, but
enjoy the scenery along the way. A moment spent appreciating
the deep blue of a spring sky won't ruin your schedule, and it
might help you by calming your mind and focusing your thoughts.
Taking your time can ensure you avoid mistakes that would slow
you even more. You have the perseverance, stamina, and talent
to get where you want to go soon enough. You don’t need to
hurry toward some unknown goal to accomplish “it.” You have
lots of time, so don’t let your ego burn you out.

2. Spend as much time planning your life as you do your money.

Schedule time for yourself, your loved ones, and your work. Make
sure you aren’t at the bottom of your to-do list. Have fun.
Volunteer. Spend time with friends. Exercise. Careful scheduling
will always serve you well. Get in the habit of keeping a daily and
master to-do list, blocking out time for important activities, and
keeping appointments with yourself. Always know what to do
next. You'll gradually refine your skills over time, so you’ll waste
as little time as possible. But you don’t always have to be “doing”
something.

3. Don't cave to pressure. When you graduate, many people will

expect you to have already decided what you want to do with
your life. If you have, then no problem. But don't give in to the
pressure if you haven't. You have a whole world of possibilities to
choose from—and if none fit you, you can make your own.

4. Travel while you can. Before you have a family, children, and a
time-consuming job, take a little time to discover other cultures
and see the world a bit. Your travels become an important part of
your character—as well as your ability to understand and
appreciate others later in life. I do wish I would have traveled
overseas, stayed in youth hostels, or gone on a medical mission
trip (as my 18-year-old daughter is doing in Kenya next month).

5. Experiment now. Even if you already have some general idea

of what you want to do with your life, you can capture the details
later. Try new things while you can, because regret is worse than
failure. Looking back and knowing something didn't work, but
that you tried, is much more heartening than looking back and
fantasizing about something you regret not doing. Not knowing
what might have happened is the worst part. There are a couple
things I wish I didn’t ask myself, “What if…?” So find out. It may
change your life.

6. Take chances. I tried working as a corporate trainer, a

university instructor, and a trainer for CareerTrack before I
realized I’d die a slow death working for someone else. I've never
regretted starting my training company, The Productivity Pro,
Inc. in 1992. Many of my friends and family said I was brave for
doing so, but frankly, I thought they were brave for staying where
they were and settling. As with experimenting, youth is a time to
take career chances and reach for your dreams while you're still
flexible.

7. Don't do what people expect of you unless it matches your

expectations. Just because people expect you to get married
and have kids doesn't mean you have to. There are no written
rules about when you have to do what. Societal expectations
should no longer hold you back. If you choose to marry your
career, at least for a while, fine. If you want to work overseas for
a time, go! Move in directions that interest you, even if it’s not
what others expect of you. No one expected me to have an MBA
at 21—except me. You will amaze yourself—if that’s really what
you want to do, not what your parents want you to do.

8. Choose your career carefully. This fits hand-in-glove with what

I've already discussed. Take the time to choose something you
not only do well, but that you also enjoy. If you take a job and
hate it, get out! You will spend a lot of your life working. Even if a
job doesn't work out, or you change your mind, you still have
plenty of time to try something else. You can always say no to
something you’ve said yes to. Give it time but don’t get stuck. If
you can’t tell the difference between when you’re working and
playing, you are blessed.

9. Do first what’s most important. My family has been a continual

source of joy to me, and I couldn't do what I do without their love
and support. Don't let work divide you from important people or
damage your relationships with your spouse, children, extended
family, or friends. You need time to socialize and enjoy life. Put
time on your calendar first for them and schedule around it. I
wish I would have spent more time doing this with girlfriends.

10. Put your heart into it. You've heard the saying, "If it's worth
doing, it's worth doing well." If you believe something is worth
doing—a job, a work of art, a marriage, a hobby, parenthood—
then give it all you can, and aim for the stars. That said, be
cautious in selecting what to lavish your energy on in the first
place...and if it all goes wrong, reassess whether it's worth your
effort to fix it. Not everything is worth your time and energy.
Some things, like parenthood, definitely are; others you can exit
without hurting yourself or others.

The Bottom Line

To tell the truth, these suggestions only scratch the surface of
what today's me would tell the 22-year-old me—and as a
productivity expert, my list has undoubtedly been colored by my
profession. I supposed I've turned out pretty well despite this list
and have worked out these points for myself over time. But I
think they apply to just about anyone on the cusp of beginning
their career, so hopefully they will put you ahead of the curve in
life.

Laura Stack, MBA, CSP, CPAE, aka The Productivity Pro®, gives
speeches and seminars on sales and leadership productivity. For
over 25 years, she’s worked with Fortune 1000 clients to reduce
inefficiencies, execute more quickly, improve output, and
increase profitability. Laura is the author of seven books,
including Doing the Right Things Right: How the Effective
Executive Spends Time. To inquire about having Laura speak at
your next sales kickoff or conference, please tweet her
@laurastack or visit  www.TheProductivityPro.com. 

Before I get started, I’m 22 years old.

For the past 6 months I have been travelling around the world

solo. There have been ups and downs, bumps in the road, many a
good time, and a great deal of adventures. It hasn’t always been
easy, but there are a few things it has always been.

It has always been fun. It has always been rewarding. It has

always been a journey – and always will be about the journey.

I’ve learned a lot over the past half of a year.

All of these lessons and the growth I have experienced in the

past 6 months have lead me to believe that I might have
something of value to share with other 20 year olds and
teenagers around the world.

So here we go, the 12 things I would tell my 22 year old self in

the hopes of telling other young girls…

Arosa Kulm Hotel

1. Do what you love and love what you do

Stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, and breathe. What does
it feel like? Are you happy? Are you content? Or are there a
million thoughts and tribulations running through your mind so
fast that you can’t seem to get a hold of yourself, let alone your
mind, for even just a minute. If you’re not happy with what you’re
doing, make a change.

2. Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind

don’t matter

People will criticize you. People will tear you down. People will
laugh at you. People will undermine you. Prove them wrong. Then
do it again and do an even better job at it next time, just for
satisfaction.

3. Things are just that… things

Take a day to rid yourself of all the clutter and commotion you
have collected over the years. Once and for all, get rid of all your
extra baggage and unnecessary sh*t so you can cut ties with the
past, and focus solely on the future. Stop buying so many
things… they will not bring you happiness. Things will give you a
temporary rush, but once that is over, you’re just left with
tangible goods that are meaningless. Save that money to spend
on experiences and lifelong memories.

4. Travel and see the world

Don’t think about it – just go. You can make it happen if you
really want to. Stop excusing yourself. If you don’t have enough
money, start saving. If you can’t save enough, get another job. If
you don’t have anyone to go with, go by yourself. If you’re
scared, find just one moment of insane courage.

5. You don’t need a safety net

Worried about keeping enough money in the bank for a rainy day?
Worried that you won’t have enough money to ever buy a house
so you better start saving now? Worried you might incur a
sporadic expense that will leave you high and dry? STOP
WORRYING. Things will work out, they always do. With good
friends and family around you, someone will always be close by
to help when times are tough.

6. Don’t look too far into the future

 A house, a career, a significant other, a family…. WOAH THERE

COWBOY. What about focusing on you. Let yourself grow and
learn to stand on your own two feet. Learn not to rely on anyone
else, but to trust your own capabilities. Learn to love and accept
yourself first, before you go about looking for another human
being who will do the same.

7. Your body is an empty shell without your soul

 Forget what the scales tell you, forget what the mirror shows
you, and forget what everyone else is doing by way of diet,
exercise, and weird body contortions that leave you with one
eyebrow raised. As Dr. Seuss would say,

“You are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is
youer than you!”
8. Speak your mind but mean what you say

 It’s important to have your own opinion and speak your mind…
but it is also just important to refrain yourself from saying
something you will regret. Always consider others when you go
to speak – not everyone is as easy going or can brush things off
like the next person. You never want to tarnish friendships or
insult others by saying something you didn’t entirely mean. Take
some time to think about what you believe in, what you stand for,
and what you will fight for.
9. Embrace your youth

 We’re always looking to be one step ahead of ourselves. When

we were 10 we wanted to be 13, when we were 13 we wanted to
be 18, and when we were 18, we couldn’t wait to be 21. Well now
you’re here, in the golden years of your life, your 20’s. Make every
second of this decade count and live like it’s the best years of
your life — it is.

10. Love is the most powerful thing you can give another

Seeking forgiveness? Wanting to strengthen a friendship or

relationship? Just give love and give yourself selflessly. The
most powerful thing you can give another is love – unconditional
love.

11. Smile more, laugh more

 Stop worrying and overthinking it – life wasn’t meant to be a

puzzle solve. It’s a journey we embark on and see how much we
can achieve, how many people we can inspire, how many people
can inspire us…. just remember there’s always a way out of your
troubles. Smile more, laugh more.

12. Take a day off whenever you feel like it

 When it all gets a bit much, take a day off. Stay at home in your
pjs, watch a chick flick, turn off your brain and just have a day
off. Sometimes you will need it at the worst time imaginable –
who cares. Do it anyway.

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Comments

1. C A R I N A @ T I M E S T O W A N D E R   SAYS
April 5, 2016 at 5:32 am

I need to keep this post within reach, as I tend to forget

some of these points way too often. I´m often worrying to
much and overthinking everything. Unless I´m travelling,
then I´m the most relaxed person.
But this is truly inspirational and great advice!

2. A S H L E I G H   SAYS
October 26, 2014 at 12:49 pm

This is the best advice I have ever heard!

3. J U L I A N N E   SAYS
July 7, 2014 at 4:35 am

Thanks for this! I’m actually 22, and just started my “real
life” after college. I feel like it’s so easy to get caught up in
the stress, work, and the little things. These are such great
reminders!

xo Julianne
http://reallifesurreallife.blogspot.com

4. R I A N N E   SAYS
July 3, 2014 at 9:38 pm
 I couldn’t agree more with what you’re saying, although
sometimes it’s hard to really put those things to action.

5. S A R A H   SAYS
July 3, 2014 at 11:48 am

Such great advice, where were you when I was 22?!

Seriously though, I hope others learn from your lessons
because it’s so important to not waste your 20s doing
something you hate.

6. A M E R I C A   SAYS
July 3, 2014 at 7:50 am

Thank you for this post!

I really needed it at this point of my life turned 23 and I feel

like if I didn’t do much but after reading this you gave me
enlightenment.:)

7. L E A T H E R L A C E & T U R Q U O I S E   SAYS
July 3, 2014 at 7:47 am

LOVE this post, #2 is definitely something I try to live by!

8. B E T T Y J . O G B U R N   SAYS
July 2, 2014 at 11:42 pm

…I think this list is brilliant, but I think that #10 particularly

hits it home for me: As they say in Les Mis, “To love another
person is to see the face of God”–who is Forgiveness
itself, :-)…
1. It's a year of firsts — first job, first business card, first
apartment. And it makes you feel like a total boss. You
also HAVE A 401(k). How cool are you?!   

2. When you get ID'd at the bar, you feel so mature because
you're not a 21-year-old baby who just started drinking. Now
you're like, "Oh, my ID? I'm flattered! I've been drinking legally
forever now." 😎

3. You're now someone who hands out business cards, not just
the person who collects them. You're still working hard as hell to
prove yourself, but remember the 21-year-old intern days? Long
gone. 

4. You don't have to answer to anyone but yourself for the first
time in your life. You can totally binge watch Netflix all night and
no homework deadline will stop you. 

5. "Old enough to know better, young enough not to care" is your

life motto.  Who cares that it's a work night? Not you! You have
the rest of your life to go to bed at 10 p.m. 

6. Taylor Swift wrote a song about being 22 because you are

awesome. You have a soundtrack for your life this year. (Well,
along with "BBHMM," which I think we can all agree goes with
any age.)

7. You have your OG squad, but you're also creating a new

squad. Your college friends are forever your friends, but you're
making an entirely new group of friends because of the working
world and wherever you're living now. It's so much fun because
it's like you're dating, but with different friend groups instead of
guys. You are in your social prime. 

8. When you tell people in their late 20s that you're 22, they're
jealous of how young you are. Then they start talking about all
the fun things they got to do at 22 and you just think, Yeah, I
know, I'm living my best life.

9. Your date nights don't consist of fraternity formals

anymore. You're done hooking up with college douchebags who
thought getting you a bottle of Burnett's for their Valentine's Day
frat party was cute. Now you're going out with guys who can at
least afford a bottle of Grey Goose.

10. You finally understand how awesome happy hour is because

it's become a huge part of your social life. When your friend texts
you to grab a drink after work, you reply, "HELL YEAH!" Because
you worked really hard all day, and deserve a fun time and good
drink. Reminder: You have no one to answer to (see no. 4). 

11.  When Old people complain about hangovers to you, you have
no idea what they're talking about because you are still tHrIvInG
in the party world. You may have left college, but your college
partying ways haven't left you! You know now that next to the
word "grim" in the dictionary is a picture of the face of a
hungover 29-year-old on a Friday morning.  

12. You're making your own money, which means you can finally
buy that new watch you wanted. It's your money. Yes, you need
to be smart with it and make sure you're saving, but you can also
treat yourself. 

13. You easily straddle the worlds of the old and the

young. You've explained Snapchat to the older people at
work more times than you can count. You also have no idea how
many times you've explained "on fleek" to them. But you can also
expertly advise young people how to handle job interviews.

14. Your dating life is the most fun it's ever been because you
can finally go on spontaneous weekend getaways with your
boyfriend. Both of you are working now, so you have a little extra
change to take a weekend road trip if you feel like it.

15. You appreciate staying in with a bottle of wine and Netflix

just as much as you do going out to the bar. You now know
that FOMO is absolute bullshit. You worked hard all week; if you
want to throw on your oversize sweatpants and chill on a Friday
night, there is nothing wrong with that. 

16. Your homework days are behind you, but a fully grown-up life
with a mortgage, two kids, and a family dog is still probably
pretty far off.  Which means you can YOLO!

My Advice to 22 Year-Olds

As I write this, I’m just past the big 6O. Here’s some advice
based on thirty-eight more years of living than you have. I don’t
expect you to believe everything I say–when I was twenty-two I
wouldn’t listen to someone this old, but maybe some of this will
resonate with you:

Challenge the known and embrace the unknown. Accepting the

known and resisting the unknown is a mistake. You should do
exactly the opposite: challenge the known and embrace the
unknown. Now is the time to take this kind of risk because you
have less to lose and everything to gain. Great things happen to
people who question the status quo.

Be brief. Contrary to school, in the work place there are few

minimums. In my entire career, I can count on one hand the
instances when an email, presentation, or report was too short.
The perfect length for everything is when it is “complete”—more
is less, and “shock and awe” doesn’t work in business or war.
Here are guidelines: email—five sentences; presentations—tens
slides and twenty minutes; report—one page.

Tell stories, do demos, and use pictures. The most enchanting

people tell stories, do demos, and use pictures to influence and
persuade others. They do not belittle or berate. They paint a
picture in people’s minds whether the medium is social media,
email, in-person presentations, phone calls, or video
conferences. There is only one Steve Jobs, but if you want a shot
at being the next Steve Jobs, learn to communicate using
stories, demos, and pictures.

Don’t sweat your first job. Over your lifetime, you’ll probably have
five to ten jobs in two to three industries. Your first job is not
going to be your last. It’d be great if your first job was to be the
fifth employee of the next Google, but the odds of this are small.
The only mistake you could make is taking a first job where you
couldn’t learn anything, and if you can’t learn anything, it’s
probably your fault. Just get in and work hard and stop thinking
about finding the perfect first job.

Live in the present, work for the future. The day after you start
work, no one is going to care what school you went to, what your
grade point average was, if you were captain of the football,
robotics, or debate team, or who your parents are. All that
matters is whether you deliver results or you don’t, so work hard
to make your boss look good (see next).
Make your boss look good. Your job is to make your boss look
good. The theory that you should make your boss look bad so
that you can advance above him or her is flawed. Trying to do so
will probably make you look disloyal to your boss and stupid to
the rest of the organization. You want your boss to succeed so
that you can draft behind him or her.

Continue to learn. Learning is a process not an event, so you

should never stop learning. Indeed, it gets easier to learn once
you’re out of school because the relevance of what you need to
learn becomes more obvious. Indeed, the day you graduate is
when the real learning begins.

Don’t get married too soon. I got married when I was thirty-two.
That’s about the right age. Until you’re about that age, you may
not know who you are. You also may not know who you’re
marrying. I don’t know anyone who got married too late. I know
many people who got married too young.

Obey the absolutes. When you were young, it was absolutely

wrong to lie, cheat, or steal. When you enter the workforce, you
will be tempted to think in relative terms. As you grow older, you
will see that right and wrong seems to change from absolute to
relative. This is wrong: right is right and wrong is wrong forever.

Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone. Nothing–not
money, power, or fame–can replace your family and friends or
bring them back once they are gone. You probably have
delusions of immortality right now—that’s natural. At least
consider that while you may be immortal, those around you are
not.

One more thing. When you were a child, you thought your parents
were always right. Through high school and college, you thought
your parents were always wrong. After college, you’ll realize that
your parents were often right. And then, believe it or not, you’ll
 eventually become your parents. Wrap your young mind around
that….

By Guy Kawasaki|February 22nd, 2015|Categories: Events, Life|

Tags: Steve Jobs|52 Comments

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

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About the Author: Guy Kawasaki

Guy Kawasaki is the chief evangelist of Canva, an online graphic

design tool. Formerly, he was an advisor to the Motorola
business unit of Google and chief evangelist of Apple. He is also
the author of The Art of Social Media, The Art of the Start, APE:
Author, Publisher, Entrepreneur, Enchantment,  and nine other
books. Kawasaki has a BA from Stanford University and an MBA
from UCLA as well as an honorary doctorate from Babson
College.

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52 Comments
1.
David February 22, 2015 at 8:33 am - Reply

The fastest way to be promoted at work I learned early. “Get

your boss promoted.” Either he’ll take you with him or you’ll take
his place.
2.
Kathy Christie February 22, 2015 at 12:41 pm - Reply
 Ah, so much easier for a man to say to wait until 32 to get
married! A woman’s fertility is already starting to wane by then. I
tell my college grad kids that if they’re absolutely sure they’ve
met the right person to marry, then they should consider doing
so. The key is being absolutely sure…

Grip Shifter February 23, 2015 at 6:41 pm - Reply

Bad advice. You do not know who you are at 22, and both
you and your partner will change significantly by the time
you are 32. By 42, you may not even recognize your 22 year
old self. So you can be as sure as can be at 22 but your 42
year old self will have a very different perspective. This is
partially why 50% of marriages end in divorce.
o
Kuljeet February 23, 2015 at 11:14 pm - Reply

Well, absolutely sure! You never will be. You can never find
the right match because apples can’t be oranges. The more
you know of yourself the better you are to understand the
other person. So the catch is know thyself.
o
Von Tchekovski II March 10, 2015 at 4:12 am - Reply

Well, he is probably giving advice to men. So can’t you be a

32-year-old man marrying a 17-year-old girl? He is right at
least on this. Marrying/having kids before you’re a fully
mature man is a mistake, for obvious reasons. And note that
the only reason to marry is to have children.
3.
jahnibee February 23, 2015 at 8:40 am - Reply

Cool…eyes wide shut.

4.
Benny February 23, 2015 at 9:06 am - Reply
 could I repost this on nextshark.com? We’re a popular site on
business and success for millennials.
o
Guy Kawasaki February 23, 2015 at 10:33 pm - Reply

Go for it
5.
terry February 23, 2015 at 9:25 am - Reply

Marry young..thats half of life right there. A good women can

mean all the difference during your ups and downs while u climb
to the top.
6.
Prateek Panda February 23, 2015 at 11:22 am - Reply

This is so true and at the same time very difficult to do. I have
been a believer of a few things you’ve mentioned here which led
to two startups that I run today – http://appknox.com in mobile
security, and http://thetechpanda.com in digital media. I must say
I’ve learnt a lot and I am learning something each day.
7.
Michael Liu February 23, 2015 at 12:25 pm - Reply

Thank you Mr Kawasaki for your wise words! To succeed yourself

is one thing, to want to help others in their journey is another.
This is true success and also the one I want to have. Wish you
best of luck in your future endeavours!
8.
Sarah Roocroft February 23, 2015 at 12:53 pm - Reply

This is beautiful. Enjoyed reading this (relevant to 32 year olds

too) 
o
Vicki February 25, 2015 at 3:58 am - Reply
 Glad I married before 32 though. The world would have
missed out on you!! xxxx
o
Matthew Coco March 12, 2015 at 10:17 am - Reply

Ha was thinking the same Sarah! They tell me 32 is still

young, so I’ll take it.
o
Simon Charwey March 20, 2015 at 10:48 am - Reply

It all make sense when you’ve already missed on those 22

years; and you’re 32 years or more now. Guy thank you for
sharing.
9.
Bill Lang February 23, 2015 at 2:43 pm - Reply

Guy – Once again thanks for this list, I will have our students
“under 23” check it out ..not to mention I will remind myself that
its never too late!
10.
Keith Dickens February 23, 2015 at 2:57 pm - Reply

Don’t get married. Get happy. Maybe that means you get married.
Maybe not. Just know what makes you happy and get a lot of it.
It just so happens you often don’t know what really makes you
happy in the long run until you’re in your 30s.
o
Von Tchekovski II March 10, 2015 at 4:21 am - Reply

“Getting happy” is not a goal. Or, rather, it is a sick,

degenerate and decadent goal. For “happiness” is just a
bunch of chemicals in your brain. You might as well just
stick a needle into your arms and die of happiness for all I
care, then, while everyone around you will be feeling
extreme amounts of pain, sadness and suffering but ending
 up, in the long run, actually accomplishing something in the
real world.
11.
Charley February 23, 2015 at 4:38 pm - Reply

While much of what he says is true, the marriage advice is so off

base. At 32 women’s fertility is waxing. Pregnancy much more
difficult. So the 32 yo male should start looking at a 24 yo wife.
Otherwise, children may be hard to come by. Genetic anomalies
also rise with age. Marry when you’re sure. I was 24, my wife was
21. Our family was complete by age 32 and my wife and I have
been able to enjoy life, travel and leisure as our three children
completed college while we were young and physically active. 42
years later it was not a mistake.
o
Richard February 23, 2015 at 5:26 pm - Reply

In a rapid overpopulation of the earth, I don’t think waiting

til 32 is a bad idea.

Richard February 23, 2015 at 5:27 pm - Reply

…that should be “with the rapid overpopulation”

o
Mike March 3, 2015 at 7:59 am - Reply

Or you can wait until you’re ready – whether that be 20 or 40

– and not have kids! That way you don’t have to worry about
waiting until your kids are in college to enjoy life!
12.
Mary Beth Ricks February 23, 2015 at 4:50 pm - Reply

Great list and all so true!

13.
Bryan February 23, 2015 at 5:30 pm - Reply
 Thank you for this wonderful sharing!
14.
Laurent February 23, 2015 at 5:44 pm - Reply

Some of these advices seem to be relevant for everyone.

My favorite is the first one: ‘Challenge the known and embrace
the unknown’.
Maybe one is missing: travel and stay at least a little bit outside
your country. It’s good to understand what does it mean to be a
foreigner.
15.
Gaurang Agrawal February 23, 2015 at 7:25 pm - Reply

This is an incredible post. I will start practicing *make your boss

look good more passionately.
I have started a startup into Skill Development domain
http://BeingSkilled.com and we are making people around the
globe skilled.

Thanks !!
16.
Rich February 23, 2015 at 9:40 pm - Reply

Guy, when you talk from the heart, you impact many. Great
advice.
17.
Elaine Fogel February 23, 2015 at 9:44 pm - Reply

Love it, Guy. One more thing I’d add. The world does not revolve
around you. Take the time to think how your words and actions
affect others – in your personal lives and during your career.
18.
Georgina Harris February 24, 2015 at 7:16 am - Reply

I am a Mexican Marketer, 22 years old, I love what you write and

I think that’s completely true. I will share with all my partners.
19.
Hardeep Singh February 24, 2015 at 7:23 am - Reply

This Article is so relevant to my Present. I could instantly

connect myself with it. And I am taking some life changing
decisions based on- “Challenge the known and embrace the
unknown.”
Because some risks are just worth taking as this is the right time
to do.
20.
Mitch Ditkoff February 24, 2015 at 8:31 am - Reply

Rock on, Guy! Love where you’re coming from. Just sent this to
my two kids. Thanks!
21.
Kate February 24, 2015 at 8:52 am - Reply

Women must mind the biological clock, however they should also
try to be mindful of what may likely make them happy. My advice
(as a woman, but I think applies equally to men) would be:
obviously don’t rule out marriage before 32 (per this article), but
don’t be fixated on it or expect it either; if you do get married,
make sure you either actually want to be with the person (child
or not), or if you are getting married just to “settle”, be married
and be “on schedule” to have a child or get on with your life,
that’s fine but be honest with yourself that that’s the reason, and
don’t expect to be happy (at least with your marriage) in the long
run; you don’t need to be married to have a child (though that is a
difficult, personal choice not to be made lightly); not everyone
needs a child to be happy (again, a personal choice not to be
made lightly); most importantly, regardless of what you choose
take the time to develop yourself as an independent person, with
your own interests, friends, and ability to earn your own living.
Being able to take care of yourself will serve you (and your
children/family) in the long haul. Plus whatever you think of
Sandberg’s “Lean In”, I do agree with her advice that there is no
 point in taking yourself out of the game hoping for some eventual
possibility of marriage/family before it’s *actually* time to do so!

Make the most of your time while you have it and get to know
yourself and what makes you happy – but don’t ignore that
decades slip away sooner than you think, and faster as you get
older, and don’t string your partner along or make them feel
guilty for wanting to settle down before you feel “ready”,
particularly if your partner is a woman – fertility is a finite time
period and every year you keep someone waiting is huge deal (so
if you are not ready, be honest about it so they can move on).

Hard to say if you can be “absolutely” sure that you’re marrying

the “right” person, but be honest about whether you genuinely
love being, laughing and living with THAT PERSON, or if you are
focused in the idea of being married and/or having your wedding
(two very different things, though not mutually exclusive).

No one has a crystal ball, and the choices are very personal. But
whatever decision you make, make sure YOU know why you’re
making it and that it’s a conscious decision, and be honest with
yourself and your partner about it.
22.
Phil Sohn February 24, 2015 at 9:00 am - Reply

Keeping it short is such an art. Often get tripped up by my own

words and tangents when creating and delivering presentations.
Crafting and honing the message and knowing the right
techniques to have it resonate with your audience is a challenge
every single time. Always inspiring to see pros do it seemingly so
effortlessly, but have undoubtedly put in a lifetime’s worth of
practice and effort. It is a journey and process no doubt!
23.
jpinsider (@JapanInsider) February 24, 2015 at 12:24 pm - Reply
 Thanks for the interesting article. Some points are good to keep

in mind 
24.
Rick Lipman February 24, 2015 at 5:45 pm - Reply

i am sharing your advice with my son who is 21 years old, lived in

SF for 6 months to understand the tech landscape, came back to
Cincinnati to finish his education at Xavier University Business,
disappointed in the “startup” world here in Cincinnati and now is
applying for opps in SF. Hopefully he will heed your advice
because I am not “relevant” anymore.
25.
Michael jamal February 24, 2015 at 8:17 pm - Reply

Hello Guy,
…. I remember meeting You back in the early eighties while I
employed at Slavicks jewlers. You were the marketing Rep. For
Nova styling . …thank you for the lnteresting article. I will share
it with my 21year old son
o
Guy Kawasaki February 24, 2015 at 8:30 pm - Reply

Those were the days. Were you in an LA store?


M.jamal February 25, 2015 at 5:33 pm - Reply

Yes. Northridge .
26.
Micheline Timbrell February 24, 2015 at 9:29 pm - Reply

As usual Guy Kawasaki, great communicator! I enjoyed the

article and your last book. Yes…this is how to be ready for the
challenges in life and in the corporate business world today… My
son is 7, till than God help!
27.
 Sreeni Narayanan February 24, 2015 at 10:19 pm - Reply

Great insights and right on the mark, as always!

Couple of additions could be:
a) be ready to embrace and celebrate failiures, as they teach a
lot and
b) to grow keep pushing oneselt into Zone of Discomfort – as this
tests, trains and toughens you…
Go make your mark!
28.
Mamadou ba February 25, 2015 at 3:37 am - Reply

Excellent. Applied correctly, the advice helps to avoid many

common mistakes in the life journey. Thank you.
29.
Blake Johnson (@bljohnson25) February 25, 2015 at 1:16 pm -
Reply

Guy,

As I write this comment, I’m 22 going on 23 and about to

graduate college. While I’m not dreading life after college, I am
fearful of not having the “perfect job” right out of college. Your
point, “Don’t sweat your 1st job” really hit me. Instead of
stressing out about what role I’ll have or how many ping-pong
tables the office has, I should be focusing on how I will be able to
develop and learn. Thank you for your much needed advice.
30.
Jeff March 1, 2015 at 8:03 am - Reply

Great content. The concept of being brief and of not sweating

your job is huge.
31.
Mary Ellen Cota (@mecota99) March 5, 2015 at 7:05 am - Reply
 I can offer this: I am 64! I got married at 20. We had 2 sons by the
time I was 24. When they were in their teens, we were in our mid
thirties, young, energetic, and had a blast raising them. We went
on trips together, and made it through great times and bad. We
didn’t always agree, and we dealt with all of the challenges by
communicating everything. One big cause of marriages gone
wrong is when you turn your attention to yourself and what
makes you happy, instead of to making them happy. It will come
back to you magnified. Know what they love. And NEVER make
cheating a remote possibility. Know everything you can about
someone you want to marry. What are their dreams? How were
they brought up, what were their parents like? Was their Dad an
abuser? Does their family love and respect each other, because
all of that is engrained. Date for at least a year. Today it’s about
self, self, self, to heck with the spouse, the kids. It’s hurting
America. I say be mature and work it out. You’ll be glad in the
end. We even split up for a year, and smartened up and got it
back together and worked at it.
32.
Von Tchekovski II March 10, 2015 at 4:42 am - Reply

As for nothing ever replacing our friends and family: this is

wrong. You can replace your shitty friends with other friends, and
you can even build your own family (see marriage) to replace
your shitty one. And it’s not like we even have a choice, but what
would this “sage” know of this? He is too busy scribbling down
his own shallow thoughts to have any real time to think about
any of these issues, let alone time to see what the our greatest
geniuses have said about these things and go study philosophy,
which is were all these problems begin — and end.

Seriously. I’m sorry, but I cannot see how this article is worth
reading at all. Just banal truisms being thrown around as if they
were some kind of deep wisdom. So either the author is a very
shallow 60-year-old man, or he’s just feeding the crowd what the
 crowd wants to hear in order to get a few more clicks in his
website and thus generate a few more bucks in his bank
account. Ask yourself this question: are we still going to be
reading this article 50 years from now? This is how you know if
what you’re reading has any value whatsoever!

So here’s MY advice to all the 22-year-olds: stop reading shitty

blogs, step out of your room and go LIVE life. Chase after your
dreams, suffer like hell, and go and actually accomplish
something. And THEN when you get to your 60’s check this
article one more time and have a good laugh at it.
33.
Von Tchekovski II March 10, 2015 at 4:59 am - Reply

My last word on this is: he forgot that we are all different, and
that universally applied advice is not good. What may make me
stronger and healthier, might make you weaker and sicker.

In other words: “Evil.— Examine the lives of the best and most
fruitful people and peoples and ask yourselves whether a tree
that is supposed to grow to a proud height can dispense with bad
weather and storms; whether misfortune and external
resistance, some kinds of hatred, jealousy, stubbornness,
mistrust, hardness, avarice, and violence do not belong among
the FAVORABLE conditions without which any great growth even
of virtue is scarcely possible. The poison of which weaker
natures perish strengthens the strong — nor do they call it
poison.”

So pay attention to the advice you choose to follow! 

o
ratih April 1, 2017 at 8:52 pm - Reply

yeah i’m 22 years old last this February.. this kind of

unbelievable and unexpected moment that i have to step. I
 really curious what happen next in my life as you said GET
OUT and LIVE LIFE.. really have to catch my dream and be
healthy always. for anyone who is the same age with me
definitely had the same feeling kinda lonely, stress out and
fear but no matter what I have to face it and be strong.
anyway thanks for your advice guy!!
34.
Vanessa March 15, 2015 at 11:53 pm - Reply

This got me at Enjoy your family and friends before they are
gone. I’m turning 22 this year and that means 8 short years
before 30.
35.
JohanPersyn March 28, 2015 at 1:26 pm - Reply

Great list Guy ! I’ll tell my son (almost 20 y) Thank you Love and
Blessings !
36.
Andy May 23, 2015 at 9:26 am - Reply

marry a 22 year old at 32 …

37.
Manikandan.SP July 5, 2015 at 5:54 pm - Reply

sweating the first job is the most common mistake. WIsh i could
read this before
38.
Verena April 25, 2016 at 2:25 am - Reply

They said: This is interesting.

I say: I’ll share with every 20-year-old I meet.
Guy, just tweeted this one.

These questions are by no means exhaustive or definitive. In

fact, they’re a little bit ridiculous. But I made them that way
because discovering purpose in our lives should be something
that’s fun and interesting, not a chore.

1. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF SHIT SANDWICH AND

DOES IT COME WITH AN OLIVE?
Ah, yes. The all-important question. What flavor of shit sandwich
would you like to eat? Because here’s the sticky little truth about
life that they don’t tell you at high school pep rallies:
Everything sucks, some of the time.

Now, that probably sounds incredibly pessimistic of me. And you

may be thinking, “Hey Mr. Manson, turn that frown upside down.”
But I actually think this is a liberating idea.

Everything involves sacrifice. Everything includes some sort of

cost. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all of the time. So the
question becomes: what struggle or sacrifice are you willing to
tolerate? Ultimately, what determines our ability to stick with
something we care about is our ability to handle the rough
patches and ride out the inevitable rotten days.

If you want to be a brilliant tech entrepreneur, but you can’t

handle failure, then you’re not going to make it far. If you want to
be a professional artist, but you aren’t willing to see your work
rejected hundreds, if not thousands of times, then you’re done
before you start. If you want to be a hotshot court lawyer, but
can’t stand the 80-hour workweeks, then I’ve got bad news for
you.

What unpleasant experiences are you able to handle? Are you

able to stay up all night coding? Are you able to put off starting a
family for 10 years? Are you able to have people laugh you off the
stage over and over again until you get it right?

What shit sandwich do you want to eat? Because we all get

served one eventually.
Might as well pick one with an olive.

2. WHAT IS TRUE ABOUT YOU TODAY THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR

8-YEAR-OLD SELF CRY?

When I was a child, I used to write stories. I used to sit in my

room for hours by myself, writing away, about aliens, about
superheroes, about great warriors, about my friends and family.
Not because I wanted anyone to read it. Not because I wanted to
impress my parents or teachers. But for the sheer joy of it.

And then, for some reason, I stopped. And I don’t remember why.

We all have a tendency to lose touch with what we loved as a

child. Something about the social pressures of adolescence and
professional pressures of young adulthood squeezes the passion
out of us. We’re taught that the only reason to do something is if
we’re somehow rewarded for it.
It wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that I rediscovered how much
I loved writing. And it wasn’t until I started my business that I
remembered how much I enjoyed building websites — something
I did in my early teens, just for fun.

The funny thing though, is that if my 8-year-old self asked my 20-

year-old self, “Why don’t you write anymore?” and I replied,
“Because I’m not good at it,” or “Because nobody would read
what I write,” or “Because you can’t make money doing that,” not
only would I have been completely wrong, but that 8-year-old-boy
version of me would have probably started crying.

3. WHAT MAKES YOU FORGET TO EAT AND POOP?

We’ve all had that experience where we get so wrapped up in

something that minutes turn into hours and hours turn into “Holy
crap, I forgot to have dinner.”
Supposedly, in his prime, Isaac Newton’s mother had to regularly
come in and remind him to eat because he would go entire days
so absorbed in his work that he would forget.

I used to be like that with video games. This probably wasn’t a

good thing. In fact, for many years it was kind of a problem. I
would sit and play video games instead of doing more important
things like studying for an exam, or showering regularly,
or speaking to other humans face-to-face.
It wasn’t until I gave up the games that I realized my passion
wasn’t for the games themselves (although I do love them). My
passion is for improvement, being good at something and then
trying to get better. The games themselves — the graphics, the
stories — they were cool, but I can easily live without them. It’s
the competition — with others, but especially with myself — that
I thrive on.
And when I applied that obsessiveness for self-improvement and
self-competition to an internet business and to my writing, well,
things took off in a big way.
Maybe for you, it’s something else. Maybe it’s organizing things
efficiently, or getting lost in a fantasy world, or teaching
somebody something, or solving technical problems. Whatever it
is, don’t just look at the activities that keep you up all night,
but look at the cognitive principles behind those activities that
enthrall you. Because they can easily be applied elsewhere.

4. HOW CAN YOU BETTER EMBARRASS YOURSELF?

Before you are able to be good at something and do something

important, you must first suck at something and have no clue
what you’re doing. That’s pretty obvious. And in order to suck at
something and have no clue what you’re doing, you must
embarrass yourself in some shape or form, often repeatedly. And
most people try to avoid embarrassing themselves, namely
because it sucks.
Ergo, due to the transitive property of awesomeness, if you avoid
anything that could potentially embarrass you, then you will
never end up doing something that feels important.
Yes, it seems that once again, it all comes back to vulnerability.
Right now, there’s something you want to do, something you
think about doing, something you fantasize about doing, yet you
don’t do it. You have your reasons, no doubt. And you repeat
these reasons to yourself ad infinitum.
But what are those reasons? Because I can tell you right now
that if those reasons are based on what others would think, then
you’re screwing yourself over big time.
If your reasons are something like, “I can’t start a
business because spending time with my kids is more important
to me,” or “Playing Starcraft all day would probably interfere with
my music, and music is more important to me,” then OK. Sounds
good.
But if your reasons are, “My parents would hate it,” or “My friends
would make fun of me,” or “If I failed, I’d look like an idiot,” then
chances are, you’re actually avoiding something you truly care
about because caring about that thing is what scares the shit out
of you, not what mom thinks or what Timmy next door says.
Living a life avoiding embarrassment is akin to living a life with
your head in the sand.

Great things are, by their very nature, unique and

unconventional. Therefore, to achieve them, we must go against
the herd mentality. And to do that is scary.

Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is part of the path to

achieving something important, something meaningful. The more
a major life decision scares you, chances are the more you need
to be doing it.
5. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD?
In case you haven’t seen the news lately, the world has a few
problems. And by “a few problems,” what I really mean is,
“everything is fucked and we’re all going to die.”
I’ve harped on this before, and the research also bears it out, but
to live a happy and healthy life, we must hold on to values that
are greater than our own pleasure or satisfaction. 1
So pick a problem and start saving the world. There are plenty to
choose from. Our screwed up education systems, economic
development, domestic violence, mental health care,
governmental corruption. Hell, I just saw an article this morning
on sex trafficking in the US and it got me all riled up and wishing
I could do something. It also ruined my breakfast.
Find a problem you care about and start solving it. Obviously,
you’re not going to fix the world’s problems by yourself. But you
can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making
a difference is ultimately what’s most important for your own
happiness and fulfillment.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Gee Mark, I read all of this
horrible stuff and I get all pissed off too, but that doesn’t
translate to action, much less a new career path.”

Glad you asked…

6. GUN TO YOUR HEAD, IF YOU HAD TO LEAVE THE HOUSE ALL

DAY, EVERY DAY, WHERE WOULD YOU GO AND WHAT WOULD
YOU DO?
For many of us, the enemy is just old-fashioned complacency. We
get into our routines. We distract ourselves. The couch is
comfortable. The Doritos are cheesy. And nothing new happens.

This is a problem.
What most people don’t understand is that passion is the result
of action, not the cause of it.2, 3
Discovering what you’re passionate about in life and what
matters to you is a full-contact sport, a trial-and-error process.
None of us know exactly how we feel about an activity until
we actually do the activity.
So ask yourself, if someone put a gun to your head
and forced you to leave your house every day for everything
except for sleep, how would you choose to occupy yourself? And
no, you can’t just go sit in a coffee shop and browse Facebook.
You probably already do that. Let’s pretend there are no useless
websites, no video games, no TV. You have to be outside of the
house all day every day until it’s time to go to bed — where would
you go and what would you do?

Sign up for a dance class? Join a book club? Go get another

degree? Invent a new form of irrigation system that can save the
thousands of children’s lives in rural Africa? Learn to hang glide?

What would you do with all of that time?

If it strikes your fancy, write down a few answers and then, you
know, go out and actually do them. Bonus points if it involves
embarrassing yourself.

7. IF YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DIE ONE YEAR FROM

TODAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO AND HOW WOULD YOU WANT TO
BE REMEMBERED?

Most of us don’t like thinking about death. It freaks us out. But

thinking about our own death surprisingly has a lot of practical
advantages. One of those advantages is that it forces us to zero
in on what’s actually important in our lives and what’s just
frivolous and distracting.
When I was in college, I used to walk around and ask people, “If
you had a year to live, what would you do?” As you can imagine, I
was a huge hit at parties. A lot of people gave vague and boring
answers. A few drinks were nearly spat on me. But it did cause
people to really think about their lives in a different way and re-
evaluate what their priorities were.
This man’s headstone will read: “Here lies Greg. He watched
every episode of ’24’… twice.”

What is your legacy going to be? What are the stories people are
going to tell when you’re gone? What is your obituary going to
say? Is there anything to say at all? If not, what would you like it
to say? How can you start working towards that today?

And again, if you fantasize about your obituary saying a bunch of

badass shit that impresses a bunch of random other people, then
again, you’re failing here.

When people feel like they have no sense of direction, no purpose

in their life, it’s because they don’t know what’s important to
them, they don’t know what their values are.

And when you don’t know what your values are, then you’re
essentially taking on other people’s values and living other
people’s priorities instead of your own. This is a one-way ticket
to unhealthy relationships and eventual misery.
Discovering one’s “purpose” in life essentially boils down to
finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself, and
bigger than those around you. It’s not about some great
achievement, but merely finding a way to spend your limited
amount of time well. And to do that you must get off your couch
and act, and take the time to think beyond yourself, to think
greater than yourself, and paradoxically, to imagine a world
without yourself.
Note:  I’ve recorded a 10-minute audio commentary where I make
a guilty confession about this article, and I go into why, and how,
I wrote it. Site members can listen to it by clicking the
Commentary button above. To become a site member,  click
here.

If You Don’t Know What to Do with Your Life, Read These 5

Strategies
Kathryn Sandford

Career Resilence Coach who is passionate about thriving and

growing in a complex world Read full profile
“I don’t know what to do with my life…”

There have been many times in my life where I have been stuck
and not known what to do next. I have agonized over what I
should do or not do and whether I was making the right choices.
“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know
what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your
heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to
know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream,
for the adventure of being alive”. –  Oriah Mountain Dreamer
This state of not knowing what to do next applies to all of us, at
any age and at different stages of our lives.

Whether we are heading off to university, graduating, choosing

our career path, recovering from a heart break, being made
redundant, or entering into retirement, we all have a point in our
lives where we don’t know what to do next.

The answers or solutions we seek vary according to where we

are at in our lives.

A young graduate will  focus on answering this question in

relation to their future and choosing the right career. A person
entering into retirement will ask the question in the hope of
doing something that has value in their life; and a young mother
recently divorced will be asking this question in the hope that
she can find an answer that will enable her to survive another
day.

Personally, I have discovered that following 5 steps will help you

to find out what to do with your life:

1. Put your running shoes on and clear your mind

“Not knowing what you want is a lot better than knowing exactly
what you want but not being able to get it, at least you have
hope.”
At one time in my life, that was very challenging and emotional;
all I could do was think about what I needed to do to get to the
next day.
There were no thoughts of what I wanted to do in the future nor
were there any thoughts of how I wanted my life to be. It was
just a matter of surviving from one day to the next.

If you are in this situation, don’t panic. And you may want to
learn about Nancy’s story, a story that resonates with a lot of
people.

For me, during this challenging time, exercise was the solution to
helping me get through my day.

Every morning my alarm would go off at 6am. I would have my

running gear ready by the bed, I would get dressed, walk out the
door and start running for 45 minutes. I would come back from
my run, have a shower and my protein shake, then wait for the
kids to wake up and my day would begin.

For a long time, it was hard to get out of bed and go for my run
because I just wanted to hide away.

After a few months, I began to realize that when I started my run,

I would feel terrible and then when I got to the end of my street I
would start feeling better and the sick feeling in my stomach
would disappear.

Over time, I began to look forward to my morning run as I felt

more energised and I was sleeping better.

Recently, I was talking to a healer about how I survived my life

challenges. She said that exercise was one of the best ways to
dissipate the emotional pain that we feel and hold in our bodies.

She said that I was lucky to have found a solution that worked
well for me. It enabled me to manage my emotional pain, so that
I could move to the next stage of sorting out what I wanted to do
next with my life.
It took me 12 months to reach a point where I was ready to look
at my future. It was then, that my next phase of my journey
began. And I am happy to share with you how I discovered what I
wanted to do with my life.

2. Take action to wake up your conscious mind

“Nobody is going to do your life for you. You have to do it
yourself, whether you’re rich or poor, out of money or making it,
the beneficiary of ridiculous fortune or terrible injustice. And you
have to do it no matter what is true. No matter what is hard. No
matter what is unjust, sad, sucky things befall you. Self pity is a
dead end road. You can make the choice to drive down it. It’s up
to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn around and drive
out” — Cheryl Stryed.
Life isn’t predictable and the solutions we seek to answer our life
questions don’t always come nicely wrapped. There are no rules
to follow and we have to work hard to define our life pathway.

Waking our conscious minds to accept our reality, embrace

change and the unpredictability of life is one step toward finding
out what we need to do next in our life.

For me, I had to deal with my limiting self beliefs which were
very much a part of my conscious mind  and my road blocks to
moving forward.

I couldn’t see a future for myself and I didn’t know who I was or
what I wanted. Making a decision as to what to do with my life
was impossible.

This was the hardest part for me, figuring out what I wanted,
what I loved to do and how to be me or even believe in me.

I remember reading somewhere that if we have to make

important decisions or choices in our lives, we can become
overwhelmed. And so we choose to do nothing – it’s just too hard.
We become paralyzed rather than liberated by the power of
choice. Because I didn’t know what I wanted, I couldn’t make a
decision as to what direction I wanted my life to go. So for a long
time, I did nothing and just drifted.

Eventually I became very dissatisfied with the direction my life

was taking. I knew I had to take action and take it fast because I
had very little faith in myself; my confidence was low and my
vision for my future was bleak.

I was confused, conflicted and I had no hope.

My conscious mind was wanting solutions that were practical

and safe, however my heart, well it wanted to follow my dreams.

It is hard to follow your heart, to overcome your limiting self

beliefs and find your power. However you can do it and it all
comes down to taking action to change.

Small steps at a time create the momentum for change. These 7

Cornerstone Skillswill help you take these small steps and lead
you closer to where you desire to be.

3. Embrace the power of taking small steps with a 30 day

challenge
The first step I took to reprogram my conscious mind was I set
myself a 30 Day Challenge.

You may ask, why 30 days? Because this is how the small steps
you take gradually become your powerful habits. (In fact, the
power of these little habits are beyond your imagination! Here’s
why.)

I wrote down 3 goals I wanted to achieve in 1 month, that would

make my life better than it was now. The 3 goals were:
To lose 2 kg, to sign up and start training to run a marathon in 6
months time, and to spend one weekend by myself writing my
Life Vision.

The first two goals were easy to achieve. However, the third one
took me a lot longer to do but I did get there in the end.

This 30 day challenge gave me the momentum to begin my

journey of finding out what I wanted to do with my life. Baby
steps do matter.

Achieving these 3 goals gave me the confidence and self belief

to keep going. I knew that if I did nothing, then I would have to
accept a life of disquiet, unhappiness, sadness and no hope.
There was no way that was going to happen.

4. Seek the wisdom and knowledge of others who have been

there before.
“The more extensive a man’s knowledge  of what has been done,
the greater will be his power  of knowing what to do” — Benjamin
Disraeli
I like to read other people’s stories about how they lived their
lives, their life philosophies and how they overcame their
challenges in life.

I find that their stories inspire and motivate me, especially when
I am unsure about what to do next in my life. These stories
helped me to build my knowledge base. Then I could sort out the
confusion in my mind and in my heart, as to what I should do
next.

I have read many books, however for me, the two most inspiring
books that I have read that helped me gain clarity and purpose in
my life are Nelson Mandela’s book The Long Walk to
Freedom and Richard Branson’s book Screw It Lets Do It –
Lessons in  Life  and Business.
These 2 books are very different but the life lessons that Nelson
Mandela and Richard Branson shared are priceless.

5. Do whatever it takes to get to know YOU.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right
thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing
you can do is nothing.” — Theodore Roosevelt.
Find out who you are, what your passions are and what you want
to do with your life. This strategy is closely aligned to Strategy 2,
in that you have to know who you are in order to Wake Up Your
Conscious Mind.

To move forward, you have to let go of your past and embrace

change. With change comes reinvention. If you don’t know who
you are and what you want, it makes it a lot harder to move
forward in your life.

Having a Life Vision, knowing your purpose and how you want to
live your life are the foundations to building belief in yourself,
your confidence, resilience, courage and accountability.

There will be times in your life where you may not know what to
do next, or you will make the wrong decision and that is okay.

With a purpose and a vision when these situations occur, you

won’t be paralyzed by the fear of not knowing what to do; you
will seize it as an opportunity to experience life.

If it doesn’t work out, that’s still okay because you will be

empowered to make another choice.

My first step toward knowing what I wanted in life was to commit

to my 30 day challenge — setting and achieving 3 goals in 1
month.
Once I did that, I started to organize my world and I researched
for ways where I could get to know me, my purpose, my passions
and how I wanted to live my life.

It took some time (2-3 years) but I did get there. I’ve read books,
I’ve searched the web, I’ve talked to people and I’ve attended
personal development workshops until I found a programme that
I thought was right for me.

I didn’t have my Life Plan perfectly worked out. But when my

next life challenge presented itself to me, I was far more
prepared, informed and resilient to dealing with challenge.

It still hurt and it was very emotional but through it all I knew
what I needed to do next to move forward in my life.

Final thoughts
If you don’t know what to do with your life, consider these
strategies I have shared.

It is a tough journey but it is also rewarding, in that you will

discover your life purpose and find your passion. You will know
what you need to do in your life and the actions you need to take
to get there!

But remember, it’s never too late to discover your purpose and
live your passion. Don’t believe me? Here’s the proof:

How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

How do you stay happy all the time? Is it possible and is there
any proof that these ways can work? In this post I want to show
you 10 ways that are scientifically proven. If this does not
convince you, then I do not know what will!
1. Exercise more
Lots of studies on this one. Exercising releases the good mood
endorphins so that you are always in a better mood after a
workout or simply a walk to the supermarket. I have never met a
person in a bad mood after a workout! But where is the scientific
evidence?

The University of Toronto did a great job on this and analyzed no

less than 25 research studies.[1] The conclusion was that
physical activity can and does help to keep depression at bay.

The best study I know is where three groups of depressed people

are put on a regime of anti-depressants, exercise or a
combination of the two. No surprise to know that all three groups
were happier, but did it last? Six months later, the group who had
been treated with exercise only, had a very low relapse rate of
9%. The other two groups had relapsed and how! Their rates
were ranging from 38% to 31%, so about a third of them were
now depressed again.

2. Positive thinking affects your performance

  “Happiness is the precursor to success.” – Shawn Achor
Sounds like pie in the sky? Well, according to Shawn Achor, if he
knows everything about what factors are impinging on your
happiness such as stressors, hassles, successes, economic
circumstances, relationships and so on, then he can only predict
10% of your long term happiness. The remaining 90% is how you
process the world around you. If happiness is on the other side of
success, it is unlikely you will get there as you continually strive
to get better grades, higher salaries and so on.

Positive thinking raises energy levels, creativity and productivity

by as much as 30%. The secret is to use positive thinking now,
rather than when you are rich and famous. Watch the video
below for a very entertaining outline of this.
3. Trash your negative thoughts
Some people are overwhelmed by their negative thoughts and
they have real problems in getting rid of them. A University of
Madrid study found that by actually writing these thoughts down
on a piece of paper and then destroying them was effective.
[2]
 They recommended that you either tear them up, throw them in
the trash or burn them!

The fact of discarding them physically does help in reducing their

toxic effects. Psychologists suggest doing this on a regular
basis.

4. Treasure your experiences more than your possessions

Thomas Gilovich, a psychologist at Cornell University has done
quite a lot of research as to why it is better to treasure
memorable and pleasant experiences rather than the material
things we buy. There are many reasons for this as outlined in his
study published in the Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology.[3] Comparing possessions and looking at better
objects after purchase can be demoralizing and ruin the initial
pleasure we got when purchasing and taking possession of that
new car, TV or computer.

But treasuring experiences is not nearly as destructive. They

belong to us, they are special and they provide longer lasting
happiness. We should always aim to visit a new place or just go
trekking. Local authorities should be able to provide the facilities
in towns and cities so that people may experience more
enjoyable and pleasurable activities, rather than building more
shopping malls.

5. Write down why you are grateful

Feeling and thinking about the things you are grateful for as you
wake up is a great way to build more happiness.
Research on our brain shows that we always tend to focus on the
negative things of life like those worries, tragedies, failures, and
discontent. Negativity is the default position.

“We’ve got this negativity bias that’s a kind of bug in the stone-
age brain in the 21st century,” – Rick Hanson, neuropsychologist.
This is why we need to focus on the good and more especially,
we need to hone in on what we should be grateful for. There are
various ways you can do this. Here are some ideas:

 When you wake up, remind yourself mentally of three things

that you can be grateful for.
 Some people prefer to write down three things and keep the
list to remind themselves every now and again.
 Use Twitter or Facebook if you feel inclined. Useful to
remind your followers that this does actually work.
 Express gratitude by phoning your significant other or by
treating a colleague to coffee for their help with a project or
task.
 Try giving back by helping a person or by volunteering for a
few hours a week.

But is there any scientific proof that this actually works? Check
out this link to see just some of the numerous studies on
gratitude.[4]

6. Practice mindfulness
What does mindfulness mean? It just means that you concentrate
and pay full attention to the present moment and accept it in a
non-judgmental way. This is now becoming a popular trend in
psychology and medicine. When done regularly it can boost
mood, reduce stress levels, and lead to a better quality of life.

Focus on the present moment means that you can savor touch,
smell and other physical sensations but also happy feelings.
Concentrate on the joy they are giving you. It is really effective in
forgetting about the past and not fretting about future, fearful
scenarios.

But can this really make us happier and what is the scientific
evidence? Watch the video where Harvard researcher Matt
Killingsworth explains that we are happier when we are mindful
of the moment and the least happy when the mind is wandering
all over the place. He has come to this conclusion after studying
15,000 people!

7. Don’t forget your beauty sleep

When you do not get enough sleep, your negativity takes over big
time. This was the conclusion researchers came to after several
experiments. One of these is particularly interesting. The
researchers homed in on the hippocampus which is the part of
the brain which processes our positive thoughts. When we are
sleep deprived, this function starts to creak and negative
thoughts muscle in much more than before.

To illustrate this, researchers asked sleep deprived students to

remember a list of words. They were getting a high score on all
the negative words (81%) but when it came to the positive ones
or neutral ones, they were only getting about 31% of these right.
Dr.Robert Stickgold has conducted similar experiments on sleep
and memory.[5]Now you know why people are always in a bad
mood when they do not get enough sleep.

8. Dedicate a little time to helping others

People buy bigger houses, cars and phones but it does not seem
to increase their overall happiness in the long term, although it
might cause a brief spike in happiness. That is short lived.
Researchers have found that when we dedicate a little time or
money to helping others, this has a significant effect on our own
happiness.[6]
9. Focus on the life you want to live
“The heart goes where the head takes it, and neither cares much
about the whereabouts of the feet.”- Dr. Daniel Gilbert.
We often talk about winning the lottery and where we would go
and above all what we would buy. We might even talk about
giving to charity. But we never or rarely talk about what our state
of mind would be and how much happier and carefree we would
be. This is why focusing on priorities to get the life you want to
live is so important.

After all, there is more to life than _______ (fill in the blanks

yourself).

10. Focus on your strengths

Are you curious, open-minded or brave? How are you using these
strengths to improve your life and that of others? These are key
questions but people who exploit their strengths rather than
dwelling on their weaknesses are generally much happier. [7]

Being able to realize our full potential through exploiting our

strengths is one of the best ways of finding happiness and
helping to make the world a better place.

Final thoughts
All these 10 ways are scientifically proven to help you feel happy.
If you think your life is full of responsibilities and you’re too late
to live a different life, think again! It’s really never too late to live
a happier and more fulfilling life:

Effects of Course of Study on your future career by: Kayode

Oluwatobiloba Emmanuel.  I want to believe that those who read
my first write-up on the SECRETE OF DISTINCTION IN HIGHER
INSTITUTION has been greatly inspired and motivated. Those
who missed it should re-open it in a new window here, then
continue with this.
I will start this topic by saying “The fact that you have academic
excellence does not mean you will be successful”. They are two
different words, the fact that one come out with distinction does
not guarantee his success. This is because we end-up on the
wrong line. I was chatting with a science student years back,
who had not concluded on a future career yet at SS1. So many of
us are just concerned about the present, we want to get into
school quick,WHY? Because your friends are in school. Do you
have the same life? Are your goals the same?
I get pissed off at times when I see JAMBites say “let them just
give me any course jare”.
Sometimes when I hear people say “he studied law but he is now
an actor and is making it big” I get angry because he had just
wasted four years of his life on a course not useful to him. If he
had patiently searched his mind, he would have seen in himself
the gift of acting that he has and would have just studied theater
art which would be a plus to him. Why do you have to go into a
course that you don’t have passion for?

NEVER CHOOSE A COURSE BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CHOICE OR

TO GAIN ADMISSION QUICKLY BUT BECAUSE IT IS WHAT YOU
ENJOY DOING.
Never allow anybody to choose a career for you, look within
yourself, what do you enjoy doing, what catches your attention
that you never get tired of? Take this, it is not how FAST but how
WELL.

The fact that your friend gets into the institution before you does
not mean he/she will make it before you.

* Are you good at writing – why don’t you study Mass

Communication or English and be an editor in a news paper
company or an author etc.
* Do you enjoy talking,chatting and interviewing people – why
don’t you study mass communication and be a journalist,radio
presenter, TV presenter etc.

* Do you enjoy working on the computer system or love computer

operation – why don’t you study computer Engineering or
Science.

* Do you like debating, talking or love fighting for peoples’ right?

– why don’t you study Law and be a Lawyer?

* You enjoy dancing, acting, singing – why don’t you study

theatre art and be a professional in the field.

* Do you enjoy doing electrical works, love dealing with engines –

why don’t you go and study Engineering [there are various type of
Engineering, pick the one that suits your passion].

* Do you have passion for medicine or you love treating people –

why don’t you be a doctor or study Science Laboratory
Technology.

* Do you love cooking or wants to know about cooking tips and

origin of various recipee? – Why don’t you study Food Science
and Technology [FST] and work with NAFDAC.

* Do you enjoy calculating and accounting for goods sold or like

doing business or have administive skills? – Why don’t you study
Accounting or Business administration and work in companies or
banks even other firms.

* Do you love drawing or sketching? – You can be and artist or an

Architect which you can study in the institution.
When you are able to study what is in you, I can bet you will
never regret it.
Highly recommended: 10 course you can study in Nigeria and
never be jobless!
These are what some young boys and ladies are getting wrong,
they go into music without knowing the rudiments of music. They
start dressing roughly and moving allover the streets just
because they where able to wax just one disc that did not go
beyond their local area. Grow up, go to school, study theatre art,
your degree would give you respect, you will get to meet greater
artiste and by the time you will getting into the music industry it
will be with ease.

Pick a school that offer your course well and never choose an
institution out of peer pressure but a school where you can easily
enter and also attempt other school postume. You can opt-in for
some school’s postume without picking them in jamb,just keep
pursuing your dreams. Keep your focus, seek information, erase
pride and you will see things falling in place. Never compare
yourself with anybody,you are unique and with great attributes.
Education becomes easy for you when you enjoy your course of
study.

YES: We have list of best schools in Nigeria based on courses

they offer.
This problem starts from ss1 when proper orientation and
information are not given to students before choosing their
departments. I want to believe that this writeup as opened your
eyes to some hidden facts you never thought about. For Daily
Inspirational and Motivational Write ups, like my Facebook page
by clicking on my name.

What about costs? Check how much schools are charging as fees

to study any course.
Compiled and written by:
Kayode Oluwatobiloba Emmanuel
Cultivating a Career Calling

How do you “follow your passion” when it is unclear or is

seemingly unconnected with what you understand about work?
Paula Di Rita Wishart provides advice.
By 

I recall sitting with a student in my office late one fall afternoon

while he shared, with a great deal of trepidation, his decision to
accept a job. I asked him what it was that drew him to the job.
He could not say, but he did know the other option was staying in
the abyss of not knowing what he wanted.
He expressed frustration with everyone telling him to follow his
passion. For someone like myself, who uses the term “love” in
relation to her work and is now 25 years into her passion quest, a
passion framing around work resonates for me. But when I work
with students who are early in their career path, that can be an
ephemeral concept and often not meaningful in practical terms.
How do you follow your passion? What if your passion is unclear
or is seemingly unconnected with what you understand about
work?
The idea of following your passion can be particularly loaded for
graduate students. Often their engagement in their graduate
degree and work began with a deep interest, commitment and
intellectual capacity akin to a professional passion. But over
time, with the refining and changing of a thesis topic and a
shifting career target, this can erode, and the connecting threads
between what they are studying and what they want to commit
their life’s work to can get lost.
Let me start with this idea of our “life’s work.” We all seek work
for different reasons. Amy Wrzesniewski, a professor of
organizational behavior at Yale University, and her colleagues
have presented one really useful framing for our discussion. Their
research has identified three orientations to work: job, career
and calling. It is the calling orientation that seems to be
connected most closely with this idea of passion. A calling is
when you feel drawn to do a certain type of work and you feel
personally and strongly tied to your work. On the other end of the
spectrum, someone with a job orientation sees work primarily as
a means for financial gain. A career orientation is when you think
of work in terms of the next step or the next promotion.
There is evidence that those who have a calling orientation
toward work have greater job satisfaction. There is also
evidence that our orientation is not solely based on professional
status or dependent on the type or level of work we do. Those
who have a calling orientation to their work cross all types and
levels of jobs. Those who have a calling orientation have a sense
they are doing the work they are supposed to do. This is where I
think passion comes into view.
Given that framing, people often think their passion will present
itself in some inevitable way. Everyone tells students “follow
your passion,” as if that statement makes it all clear. The
thinking is that if the work you are meant to do is so closely
related to who you are, shouldn’t it be self-evident?
But, in my experience, that is not so. Finding your passion is a
discovery process, and you need to foster this understanding of
yourself. I am not talking about a big bang moment of self-
understanding but rather the kind of self-understanding that
grows over time as you mature into who you are to become
professionally -- the deep ease that comes over time as you
progress in a career path that seems more and more a fit.
However, as we go through our academic training and move
through our career path, everyday realities sometimes
overwhelm the sound of our calling. We have to listen carefully,
tease out and nurture our own professional voice and mission so
that it does not get drowned out by the drone of uninteresting
tasks that need to get done, or the needs of others who do not
know how we are called to engage in our work.
Those who are most successful at navigating a personally
meaningful career path learn to cultivate a practice of discerning
the work they are drawn to. I would like to share with you some
solid practices for cultivating this type of discernment on a daily
basis. (Or maybe a weekly one -- no pressure!)
Notice decisions because they are clues to who you are. When
we make a choice, our values are embedded in that moment.
Begin to notice and dissect the decisions you are making, from
the classes you choose to the groups you associate with.
Whenever I feel a pull during a decision point, I ask myself what
is compelling me to make this choice. Why did I make one
decision and not another? What does that decision say about
who I am and what matters to me? How should this inform other
choices I am making? If you do this, you will find that you
become more intentional about investing your values into your
decision making over time, and that will increasingly inform your
career choices and clarify the patterns of your interest.
Get deeply detailed on the things that you are for in this
world. What tasks are you drawn to without others bidding you to
do them? What thing, person, place, situation or outcomes do you
advocate for regularly? Start thinking about that now and
capturing it, because it will inform what you want your work   to
be about. I call this your “to statement.” If you want your work
“to help people,” then ask what type of people? Where would I
help them? What would I be doing? Commit to shaping your to
statement every single day using what and with whom you
interacted with in that day to inform that shaping. If you had a
debate with a peer, were drawn to a topic in a class or had a
conversation with a mentor, what did that do to inform that thing
you are for? Keep a visual representation in words or pictures on
your wall or desktop and work on it for 10 minutes every day.
Patterns will begin to emerge.
Say aloud to others what you are considering. We fear that if we
make a statement about what we think we know about our
career interests, it will become some irreversible truth -- or,
worse yet, we may be wrong. You will come to have certainty in
a broader context over time, but the necessary part of career
decision making is to actively engage in the exploratory,
evidence-gathering part of the process. This requires that you let
others know what you are exploring to test out these things you
think you know about yourself. You will develop a clearer sense
of yourself and your goals as you begin to explore them in
conversation with other people, and they will be able to help you
in that process. Try out what it feels to say your interests aloud.
Do they still resonate for you when you do?
Don’t wait to arrive. You have arrived somewhere at all
times. Spend some time learning the lessons from where you are
right now. If you focus on the tasks and roles you are currently
engaged in and how they inform your thinking, you will start to
develop a constant state of arrival, and your everyday
commitments will become more satisfying and meaningful. You
will also begin to seek out those things within the context of
what you are doing that have meaning. Even if the entire task or
commitment is not meaningful, you will begin to find those things
that do inform and cultivate your interests.
Write down things that deeply matter when you discover them, or
they will become obscured with time.You would never write a
dissertation or a paper in your head, because you know that you
could not retain that information in any meaningful way and
important information would be lost. Moreover, the act of writing
is a conversation with yourself that allows you to react to what
you have learned, refine your thinking and hone your perspective.
The written piece becomes an essential artifact of that
conversation. If you write down what you have discovered, you
will move through the precipices of your career decision making
without having to retread old ground, and you will begin to see
the pattern of a path more clearly.
As I think back to that student in my office, I recall that he
shared how personally demoralizing it can feel when someone
tells you to “follow your passion” and you don’t know how to find
that thing to follow. I suggested how he might consider using
these methods in the job he was about to embark on to help
shape his next steps. We discussed together the reality that the
discovery of our passion as it relates to our career is not external
entity waiting to appear before us. It is an internal process that
we can cultivate on a daily basis -- one that takes time.

6 Ways To Find Your Calling And Detect Your Potential

November 9, 2016

Many people know what they want to be in life since childhood.

And they start doing it very early in life too. You probably have
heard true stories of incredible prodigies, such as Mozart, who
composed his first plays when he was only four or five years old.
But it doesn’t happen to everybody, as you know. Most children
will answer the common question “what you will be when you
grow up?” with the first exciting thing that comes to their minds.
It will be “an astronaut”, “a ballerina”, or “a firefighter”. Not that
we couldn’t choose one of these professions. But that isn’t what
we really mean back then. So when the time comes when we
have to choose a path in life, it is no surprise if we don’t know
what we want to do. In many occasions, we even go to
university, get a degree, get married, have children, and still
have no clue if we truly want it. Thankfully, it is never too early
or too late to find your calling and detect your potential in life.
And there are very simple ways to achieve this goal, such as
following suggestions:

# 1 – Write down your favorite activities

Even though many people believe that there is a clear difference
between work and fun, the truth is that you can only excel in
what you enjoy doing. Your job will take up at least 8 hours of
you daily, so it must not be something that will make you feel
miserable. So the first suggestion is that you use writing to
change your life. Start by making a list of your favorite activities,
places, plus happy moments and people you love the most. Write
down your hobbies and things that you would do even if nobody
were looking. Then highlight those activities in which you know
you can do better than average. There you might uncover your
true calling.

# 2 – Talk to professionals and visit workplaces

Another way to detect your potential is by taking to people from
different professions. Tell them that you are on a search and that
you would like to know what exactly they do, and how is a
working day in their lives. If possible, join them in their
workplace so that you can see it with your own eyes. And in the
case that there isn’t anyone to ask, you can try and find an
internship, even a temporary and unpaid one. Notice how you feel
while doing the job, then you might find what you are looking for.
# 3 – Travel back to the past
As mentioned before, on many occasions, our calling is very
clear when we are a child. Even if we are no prodigy, it still there.
What happens sometimes is that it gets repressed by concerned
parents who want to prepare their children for “proper jobs”, or
of ourselves because we think we aren’t good enough to fulfill
such ambition. But if you are an adult and still not sure about
your passion, maybe it is time to travel back to the past and
check if there was an indication of it there. Try to remember
things that you loved when you were a child, your favorite toys,
and activities. Ask your parents, relatives, and friends about
what they thought you would become when you were to become
an adult. You might get some incredible insights from this
conversation.

# 4 – Forget about the money

It is quite frequent that people have a clear idea of what their
calling is but don’t feel like they should go for it. And the reason
behind is that they assume that there is no money on it. That
they won’t be able to support a family, or even themselves, if
they follow their hearts. But it couldn’t be more wrong. If you are
really good at doing something, money will come from it, have no
doubt. I am sure that, after a bit of research, you will find at least
a handful of people who are enjoying a decent life and doing
exactly what you dream. And there are several odd jobs that pay
more than a manager can make in a big firm. So why couldn’t you
do the same? Rest assured that most of the unsuccessful people
are those who do the opposite: insist in paths that they hate and
have no desire to put their best on it.

# 5 – Forget about other people

Another thing that you might be doing is considering too much
what other people say about your choices. You might be
spending your time trying to ignore your true calling because you
think it is embarrassing, for example. Or because you are trying
to make others happy by running the family business instead of
opening your own.

Unfortunately, it is what is called a receipt for disaster. What you

do with your life is up to you and you only. Nobody can live your
life for you either. And you are the person who has to live with
the idea that you aren’t doing what you want. Plus, remember
that people who truly loves you want to see you happy.

# 6 – Look for a career coach or a therapist

There is nothing wrong in asking for support when you need it.
And there are plenty of professionals ready to help you to find
your answers among all the confusion going on in your mind. So
just go ahead and look for a career coach if your goal is to find
out what to do with your professional life. Or, if you are
interested in a deeper and broader experience, hire a
psychologist, therapist, or counselor. Yes, any of the options
above will cost you some money, but you will be saving in the
long term after you put yourself together.

The bottom line

There you got six ways to find your calling and detect your
potential – any of them can help you to achieve your goal. Be
prepared to do some work, as you might realize that you need to
implement more than one at the same time to see the big
picture. And that is OK too. What it is not OK is for you to keep
living a life that you don’t enjoy just because you can’t face your
own fears and doubts. So spare some time today and start
thinking about what you want to do from now on. And be brave to
make the decisions that you might need. Best of luck!

By Malia Keirsey
Are You Listening to Your Life?
It can take a long time to become yourself.

By Parker J. Palmer

   

I was in my early thirties when I first began to question my

calling, teaching at a university and doing it reasonably well. But
I felt stifled by the confines of academic life. A small voice inside
was calling me toward something unknown and risky, yet more
congruent with my own truth. I couldn't tell, however, whether
the voice was trustworthy, whether this truer life I sensed
stirring within me was real or within reach. 

Then I ran across the old Quaker saying "Let your life speak." I
found the words encouraging, and I thought I understood what
they meant: "Let the loftiest truths and values guide you. Live up
to those demanding standards in everything you do." I believed I
was being exhorted to live a life of high purpose, as did Martin
Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, and Mahatma Gandhi. 

Clinging fearfully to my academic job even though it was a bad

fit, I tried to teach the way I imagined my heroes would. The
results were rarely admirable, often laughable, and sometimes
grotesque, as when I caught myself preaching to students
instead of teaching them. I had simply found a "noble" way to live
a false life, imitating my heroes instead of listening to my heart.
Vocation the way I was seeking it, had become a grim act of
will. 

Today, some 30 years later, I've found deep joy in my vocation as

a writer, traveling teacher, and activist. And "Let your life speak"
means something different to me now. Vocation, I've learned,
doesn't come from willfulness. It comes from listening. That
insight is hidden in the word vocation itself, which is rooted in
the Latin for "voice." Before I tell my life what I want to do with
it, I must listen for what my life wants to do with me. 

I've come to understand vocation not as a goal to be achieved

but as a gift to be received—the treasure of true self I already
possess. Vocation doesn't come from a voice "out there" calling
me to become something I'm not. It comes from a voice "in here"
calling me to be the person I was born to be. 

Accepting this birthright gift of self turns out to be even more

demanding than attempting to become someone else. I've
sometimes responded to that demand by ignoring the gift or
hiding it or fleeing from it, and I don't think I'm alone. An old
Hasidic tale reveals both the universal tendency to want to be
someone else and the importance of becoming one's self: Rabbi
Zusya, when he was an old man, said, "In the coming world, they
will not ask me, 'Why were you not Moses?' They will ask me,
'Why were you not Zusya?'" 

When we lose track of our true self, how can we pick up the
trail? Our lives speak through our actions and reactions, our
intuitions and instincts, our feelings and bodily states, perhaps
more profoundly than through words. If we can learn to read our
own responses, we'll receive the guidance we need to live more
authentic lives. The soul speaks only under quiet, inviting, and
safe conditions. If we take some time to sit silently listening, the
soul will tell us the truth about ourselves—the full, messy truth.
An often ignored dimension of the quest for wholeness is the
need to embrace what we dislike about ourselves as well as
what we're proud of, our liabilities as well as our strengths. 

We can learn as much about who we are from our limits as from
our potentials. For years I thought that becoming a college
president was the right thing to do with my life, despite the fact
that I'm too thin-skinned for the job. But when I embraced this
limitation and found work where thin skin—let's call it sensitivity
—is an asset, not a liability, the fact that I'd never become a
college president no longer felt like a failing. Instead it felt like a
homecoming, a return to my true self, full of peace and joy. 

We can move toward such homecomings by seeking clues to

vacation in childhood memories. When I was a boy, I spent hours
putting together little books on how airplanes fly. For a long time
I thought that meant I wanted to be a pilot. But a few years ago, I
saw that what I'd really wanted all along was to write books. 

Our highest calling is to grow into our own authentic selfhood,

whether or not it conforms to some image of what others think
we ought to be. In doing so, we find not only the joy that every
human being seeks but also our path of authentic service in the
world. True vocation joins self and service, says theologian
Frederick Beuchner, who defines vocation as "the place where
your deep gladness meets the world's deep need." 

The world's deep needs are met daily not only by caring doctors
and inspiring teachers but by good parents, good plumbers, good
hairdressers, good friends. And as all those people know, the
gladness of authentic vocation is always laced with pain. Ask
any parent suffering through the travails of her child's teenage
years. 

*****

But the pain that comes from doing the right job well and the
pain that tells us we're on the wrong track are different—and the
soul knows the difference. When we're on the wrong track, the
soul feels violated and abused and cries out for change. But
when we suffer from doing the right job well, the soul still feels
fulfilled, because it knows how to take this kind of suffering and
use it to make meaning and extend the heart's reach. 

This emphasis on self and gladness has nothing to do with

selfishness. The Quaker writer Douglas Steere said that the
ancient human question "Who am I?" leads inevitably to the
equally important question "Whose am I?" since there is not
selfhood outside of relationship. 

When we answer the "Who am I?" question as honestly as we

can, we will be more authentically connected to the community
around us and will serve more faithfully the people whose lives
we touch—for the gift of self is, finally, the only gift we have to
give. 
 Discover Your Calling

Do you wake up each morning with the knowledge that you are
about to use the day to do something you love? In the evening,
do you go to bed feeling fulfilled and satisfied that you spent the
day doing work that was meaningful to you and utilized your own
gifts and passions?

If not, you’re not alone—according to an international Gallup poll,

less than 20% of respondents strongly agreed that they enjoyed
what they did each day. To investigate the impact of this
phenomenon, Gallup researchers Tom Rath and Jim Harter
studied the health and wellbeing of a group of 168 people
through the course of a normal workday. As you might have
expected, those who reported feeling engaged with their work
had higher levels of happiness and less stress than those who
reported feeling disengaged.

What is a calling?
A calling:

1. Utilizes your natural gifts. We each possess hundreds of

skills, and nearly all of us also have some natural gifts, which
often emerge early in our lives. Gifts are more than just talents;
they are what make you feel fulfilled and happy. Having a sense
of humor or an ability to bring joy to others, an ability to quickly
compute numbers, or an aptitude for leading others are examples
of natural gifts that can express your purpose.
2. Serves others.  Your calling can be thought of as the urge to
share your gifts with the world. When you express your gifts for
the sake of others, you often experience the joy of being fully
alive.
3. Creates “flow.”  What were you doing the last time you
experienced such absorption that you lost all sense of time? You
were probably doing something that relates to your calling.

Your calling is as simple as  G + P + V = P.

(that’s gifts  + passions  + values = purpose)

Try these exercises to discover your calling

Discover your passions

Our dreams provide insights into our personal desires and
passions, which can point the way to an underlying purpose.
Identify your dreams and uncover your passions with this
activity.

More

Try free-flow journaling

Learn a style of freeflow journaling that can help you connect
more deeply with your own needs, desires, and thoughts.

More

Identify your career stage

Knowing where you are right now can help you see where you
might want to go next!

More

Calling and career

For some people, work is simply a job, a source of income,
perhaps even a source of stimulation and reward, but unrelated
to their broader purpose. For other people, their job or career is
closely interwoven with their life purpose—it is a vocation,
 perhaps rooted in the notion of service. As described by
Frederick Buechner, “Vocation is where our greatest passion
meets the world’s greatest need.”

Your calling may not necessarily be your job—it may be a hobby,

raising a family, charity work, or a way of relating to and helping
others—but as purpose often extends broadly into all aspects of
life, it will likely engage with your work as well. 

For those who want to integrate career with life purpose, it is not
enough to simply long for more meaningful work. As Nicholas
Weiler argues in Your Soul at Work, you need to clearly define
what you are looking for and then persistently seek it. As he
says, "Fulfilling careers seldom happen by chance. People who
find personally meaningful vocations do so because they assume
responsibility for their journeys."

This doesn’t mean you need to run out and switch careers.
Pursuing meaningful work may simply mean integrating your gifts
and passions into the job you do have—for example, volunteering
to organize an office recycling program or charity drive.

What are your gifts?

Fewer things are sadder than watching a person with potential
waste their life without using their gifts.  Many of us have gifts
hidden away that we are not fully expressing. We may have
overlooked them, or we may use them so frequently and
effortlessly that we take them for granted, and so they go
unappreciated. Yet, when we name these gifts we find them to
be critical to a life of energy and vitality.

Ask yourself these two questions:

 What am I good at?

 What do I love to do?
 Your gifts will arise in the responses that answer both questions
—after all, you probably have a long list of things you’re good at,
but don’t enjoy doing. A true gift is something you can give back
to the world with ease and pleasure.

What are your passions?

Your calling will engage both your mind and your heart—your
natural gifts and the issues you care about most. Your passions
will reveal where you want to direct your energy and guide your
goals.

Ask yourself:

 What do I care about most in the world?

 Whom do I want to help the most?
 When do I feel most engaged with what I am doing?
 How would I use a gift of a million dollars if it had to be
given away?

When your life and work decisions are based on your gifts and
passions, the power of purpose emerges, bringing alignment,
energy, flow, and aliveness.

“To become devoted to a calling, to have a sense of

responsibility and to have hopes and aspirations are all part of
being human. To have no calling, no sense of responsibility, no
hopes or aspirations, is to be outside of life .”

Dr. Jonas Salk

 Finding Your Calling: 5 Tips from Psychology and Spiritual
Theology to Help You Find Your Vocation
Bryan Dik

How should Christians think about vocational calling?

Bryan Dik

Associate Professor of Counseling Psychology, Colorado State

University

September 2, 2015

 Spirituality
 Theology
 Vocation
I interact on almost a daily basis with college students who are
in the throes of career decision-making, trying hard to identify a
course of study and eventual job options that appeal to them.
Most students want their work to matter, not just as a means to
a paycheck, but in a more existential sense. This is certainly the
case for Christians who generally want to use their gifts to
advance Christ’s kingdom. But where? Within what career path?
And what is the best way to figure this out?

Responding to Change by Focusing on Calling

Often, these questions are framed in terms of finding or

discovering a sense of calling. As common as these questions
are for young adults, they are relevant for far more than only this
demographic. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics,
adults hold an average of 11 jobs by the time they turn 44 years
old. Furthermore, the median number of years people have
worked for their current employer is just 4.4. These numbers tell
a story in which constant career change is the norm, with people
at all career stages asking themselves questions like, “What
should I do now?” and “Which path should I take?” What
approach should Christians take to answer questions like these?
To put it another way: How should we go about discerning our
callings?

What is a Calling?

Let’s begin with some context. The concept of “calling“ can be

tricky to define. Today, many people think of a calling as a
passion to do what makes them the happiest. For Christians, this
view isn’t all that far off, but it is incomplete. For one thing, the
word, “calling,” implies a “caller,” whom Christians identify as
the triune God. In addition, although a calling often includes a
sense of passion, this passion, for Christians is not chiefly about
pursuing personal happiness, but glorifying God and serving His
kingdom (though this is precisely what makes us happiest).

Callings also exist on multiple levels. For example, Christians are

called, first and foremost, into a relationship with Jesus Christ
and into a life of discipleship. Theologians describe this as the
“general call.” But there is a “specific call” as well; this refers to
God’s calling to engage and serve His kingdom within a
particular sphere of influence, like a career field. Many of us may
experience multiple callings over the course of our lives and
within our different life roles. This means the question of how to
discern a calling is relevant for a lot more than just how we
approach our career decisions. However, the career domain is a
context in which the question frequently comes up.

How to Discern a Calling

Sometimes, people who are struggling to gain a sense of career

direction look at Biblical examples, like Moses in the desert, and
express desire for a sign as unmistakable as the burning bush. A
direct message from God would certainly provide the desired
clarity and, thus, take some pressure off. Yet even in Scripture,
instances of God directly issuing specific instructions regarding
life direction to individuals are not common. Although I have
talked with a few trustworthy people who have experienced such
an encounter, an audible voice scenario certainly does not seem
to be the norm, nor something that most of us should count on.
Theologians note this as well. “Though there are exceptions,”
offers Douglas Schuurman, professor of religion at St. Olaf
College, “generally God uses mediators to call individuals to
particular places of service.”1 By implication, people who are
searching for a calling may be wise to focus on the mediators—
the seemingly mundane activities and processes that can
facilitate the identification of a calling.

Key Mediators

Schuurman suggests that Scripture points to gifts, needs,

obligations, discussion, and prayer as key mediators often
present in the discernment process. Psychological science offers
additional insights. For example, research in vocational
psychology reveals that career development interventions (e.g.,
individual or group career counseling and workshops) generally
work well in addressing career choice concerns. What makes
such interventions effective?

5 Critical Ingredients to Career Interventions

Researchers at the University of Loyola Chicago conducted a

sweeping review of studies that offer answers to this question
and found that the most effective career interventions contain
some combination of up to five “critical ingredients”:
individualized interpretation and feedback, attention to support-
building, accurate occupational information, and modeling
opportunities, and written exercises. What follows is a
description of these, along with discussion of how they converge
with teachings in the Bible.

1. Individualized Interpretation and Feedback

Individualized interpretation includes interacting with results

from career assessments and receiving personalized feedback on
other self-appraisal information, like career plans. The jobZology
VIP (values, interests and personality) assessments are just one
example of reliable and valid measurement tools that can help
you understand what you enjoy, what is most important to you in
a work environment, and how you differ from other people in
terms of your personality traits.

Identifying Your Gifts

The New Testament contains several passages that articulate a

role for gifts within the church (e.g., Romans 12:3-8; Ephesians
4:7-13; I Corinthians 12:4-31). Collectively, they teach that
diverse gifts are distributed across people to equip them for
serving different functions and that for the well-being of the body
of believers, they must work together like different parts of one
body. Reformers applied this basic principle beyond the church
to the broader culture, noting that society is bound by common
needs and mutual service.

Puritans like Richard Baxter and William Perkins, in richly written

treatises on the role of work in human life, used this application
of such texts to instruct that attending to one’s gifts is a wise
strategy for discerning a calling. Such teachings align very
closely with theory and research in vocational psychology, which
supports the notion that measuring the person and the
environment and striving to optimize “fit” is a useful strategy for
career decision-making. To summarize, a good starting point for
discerning a calling involves identifying your gifts and exploring
promising opportunities for expressing them in the world of work,
for the benefit of the greater good.

2. Accurate Occupational Information

Accurate occupational information consists of up-to-date

descriptions of various career paths. One place to explore
different occupations is the U.S. Department of
Labor’s Occupational Information Network, or O*NET. This site
provides detailed information for more than 1000 job titles,
including the interests and values that characterize people who
are happily employed within each job.Taken as a pair, these
intervention components reflect a “person-environment fit”
approach that builds on the fact that people differ in important
ways that have implications for the types of occupations most
likely to lead to success and satisfaction. These individual
differences can be described using the catch-all term “gifts” and
includes the kinds of psychological characteristics that are
frequently measured by career assessments.

3. Modeling and 4. Support-Building

Modeling in career development interventions involves learning

effective decision-making strategies from people who have been
there and done that. Attention to support-building recognizes
that career decisions are best made with the help of friends,
family, and mentors who can provide advice and encouragement.
Both modeling and support-building converge with the Bible’s
teachings on the role of discipleship in fostering spiritual
formation, which draws from an ample supply of mentoring
examples (e.g., Moses and Joshua, Naomi and Ruth, Elijah and
Elisha, Jesus and his disciples, Paul and Timothy).

Vocational psychology theory and research suggests that

learning from role models, along with social support and
encouragement, are some of the most important influences on
people’s confidence that they can do a good job navigating the
decision-making process. Not only that, but social support helps
people move from merely making plans to actually taking steps
to make those plans happen. For these reasons, the process of
discerning a calling is made smoother when modeling and
support-building are incorporated.

5. Written Exercises

The final ingredient, written exercises, includes activities that

invite people to record their thoughts, feelings, and reflections
concerning their career development and their work’s role within
the broader context of their lives. Exercises like these help
individuals not only set effective work goals, but life goals as
well. They also help people make sense of their current
experience, reflect on their larger sense of purpose in life, and
both envision and create possibilities for translating their sense
of purpose into daily activity through work. This process of
meaning-making is a key component of discerning and living a
calling.

An Ongoing Process
Theologians often interpret the grand narrative of scripture (i.e.,
creation, fall, redemption, restoration) along with specific
teachings (Genesis 1:28; Colossians 1:20 paired with 2
Corinthians 5:18) as charging humans with the responsibility of
integrating their faith with their work. Often, this integration
involves approaching work as a way of co-creating in divine
partnership and of serving as a “minister of reconciliation” to
restore order and goodness (i.e., shalom) in whatever sphere of
influence we find ourselves, regardless of profession. Teachings
like this imply that discerning a calling is not a one-time event,
but an ongoing process. The process of discerning a calling
doesn’t end when a person decides on a particular career path—
it is only the beginning.

11 Questions to Help You Discern Your Calling

1. Have you faced (or are you facing now) the challenge of
discerning a calling?

2. If the concept of multiple callings resonates with you, how

have you balanced your callings in life?

3. If you have discerned a calling in the past, how did you go

about it?

4. In your experience, have you tended more toward a “pray and

wait” approach to discerning your callings or a “pray and be
active” approach?

5. One pathway to discerning a calling involves understanding

our gifts. What are your gifts?

6. What kinds of opportunities offer the best chance for you to

express your gifts? What kinds of opportunities would make this
difficult?
7. What role models have mattered most to you in your career
path? What things did they do that really counted?

8. If you had to name a “personal board of directors” consisting

of 5-7 trusted supporters, who would be on it? How might you
draw wisdom from these people when you are wrestling with
tough career decisions?

9. To whom in your life can you serve as an effective role model

and mentor?

10. If you’ve ever engaged in journaling to help sort through

decisions you’ve had to make, describe what this process was
like. If you’ve found this helpful in the past, would you consider
making it a regular practice? If you’ve never tried it, what is
holding you back?

11. Do you agree that the process of discerning a calling doesn’t

end when a person decides on a particular career path, but that
it is an ongoing process?

The challenge of making meaning and living a calling on a day-to-

day basis within one’s current job will be the focus of the final
post in this series.

About the Author

Bryan Dik
Associate Professor of Counseling Psychology, Colorado State
University
 

Bryan Dik (Ph.D. University of Minnesota) is Associate Professor

of Counseling Psychology at Colorado State University and is co-
founder and Chief Science Officer of jobZology.
 6 Questions That Help You Identify Your Calling

 Jamie Rohrbaugh
 2016Oct 10

 Two ladies sat across the table from me and cried. We had
been talking about God's calling. At their request, I had asked
them some questions that had helped me identify my own calling.
As patterns begin to emerge in their answers, both ladies wept.
God had been molding them their whole lives, but they had never
seen the themes of their storylines before. Joy welled up as they
realized that their dreams were, in fact, God's dreams.
Are you also trying to identify your calling?
If you've been wrestling with finding your purpose in life, I
encourage you to ask yourself the same questions that helped
me. Write down the answers, and you'll see how the stories of
your life may not be so random after all.
Here are the questions:
1. If you could spend the rest of your life doing or talking about
one thing, what would it be?
Perhaps you're an artist, and you'd want to gift the world with
beauty that inspires. Or maybe you're in love with learning, and
you'd want children everywhere to experience the freedom and
opportunity that are made possible by a good education.
Whatever you would do, write it down.
2. Your life experience has rendered you an expert at something.
At what are you an expert?
Your expertise doesn't have to be in a traditional career.
However, you are definitely an expert at something! For example:
 Maybe you're passionate about stewardship, and you've
learned how to get out of debt and manage a budget.
 Perhaps you've learned by experience how to heal from
trauma through the power of God's Word.
 Maybe you've invested tons of energy into excelling at
cooking, fitness, parenting, spiritual growth, or prayer.
Your area of expertise might feel commonplace to you. However,
believe it or not, many people are craving the wisdom you have
gained. Even if you don't feel like your experience is very
important, your knowledge can be a lifeline to someone else.
3 & 4. What do you love? What do you hate?
These questions go together because what you love and what
you hate are often the left and right sides of the same thing. They
are simply two different angles from which to view your calling,
and they will generally be opposites of one another.
Years ago, when I was praying about my calling, my immediate,
gut-level response to these questions was, "I love powerful,
happy, victorious living. I hate pitiful, negative attitudes."
My answer helped me see that I am called to help people
come out of pitiful, beaten-down Christianity and into the
abundant, joy-filled life that Jesus died to give us.
5. What makes you feel alive?
When you're doing what you're called to do, you will feel fully
alive. You'll be firing on all cylinders--filled with joy, peace,
inspiration, and motivation! Therefore, even if you aren't sure
what your calling is yet, you can get some very telling clues
by looking at what makes your adrenaline flow!
So, what makes you feel alive? Is it:
 Going for a morning run?
 Cuddling your children?
 Standing behind a pulpit with an open Bible?
 Writing words of hope to encourage weary souls?
Whatever you do that makes you feel alive, write it down.
6. What’s in your hand?
 In 2 Kings 4, a widow begged the prophet Elisha for help. Her late
husband had left their family in debt, and his creditors were
coming to enslave their sons as payment for their debts. Elisha's
response was, "Tell me, what do you have in the house?" (2
Kings 4:2).
The woman responded that she had nothing in the house except
a jar of oil. The prophet then instructed her to go borrow as many
empty vessels as she could from her neighbors. After she had
collected many jars, she was to shut the door and pour what
little oil she had into all the jars.
When she obeyed, a miracle happened. God supernaturally
multiplied the little bit of oil this widow had, turning it into so
much oil that she sold it and repaid her creditors. She found
significant breakthrough by starting with whatever was in her
hand.
So I ask you today: What do you have in your house? What's in
your hand? 
I recently asked this question of a bi-vocational pastor friend
who had left his secular job. As our families sat at the dinner
table and chatted about his career plans, I was reminded of
Elisha’s story above. I encouraged my friend to make a list of
everything he had in his hand.
Grabbing a pencil, he wrote down things like:
 willingness to learn;
 passion for helping people;
 experience in his secular trade;
 relationships with supportive family, friends, and mentors;
 a love for entrepreneurship, and more.
His list included many items that didn’t appear to have eternal
significance. However, when we disregarded the outliers and
looked at the common themes, a light came on in his mind. My
friend suddenly realized that he desired to combine his passion
for pastoring with his enjoyment of entrepreneurship.
In that moment, a new business was born. My friend is now
writing and teaching God’s Word using an internet platform, e-
books, and social media. When he looked at the assets he had in
his hand, he moved from feeling helpless to knowing he was
already equipped to operate in his true calling.
Now it’s time to look for common themes.
If you look at your answers to the questions above, you'll see
consistent threads that run from question to question. To
visualize this, imagine a Venn diagram like the one below:

Your answers to each question above will have some outliers

(totally random bits that are part of who you are, but not
necessarily related to your purpose in life). For example, unless
you're called to work with animals, loving your cat is probably
not related to your calling.
However, disregard the outliers and look for repeated themes—
even themes from opposite angles. Put those themes together,
and you'll generally have a picture of your calling. (Hint: Your
calling has probably been the passion of your heart for many
years.)
If you've been trying to figure out what you're called to do, the
answer may be easier than you think.
When you examine your life’s motivations from various angles,
your calling and purpose will often become readily apparent.
Did these questions help you? If so, please leave a comment
below. I'd love to hear from you!
Jamie Rohrbaugh is an author, speaker, and Presence seeker
whose heart is for the local church. Called to edify, encourage,
and equip the Body of Christ, her passion is to see sons and
daughters of all ages transformed by the love of Abba Father.
Jamie blogs at FromHisPresence.com® about prayer, revival, and
the manifest presence of God. She is the author of four books
and of numerous articles around the web. Jamie is a grateful
member of the Redbud Writers Guild. She and her husband live in
Chattanooga, Tennessee, and together they have one cat.