Sexual Script Questionnaire

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Sexual Script Questionnaire

Work in pairs, slowly and with care and sensitivity. Recontract if you need to
around confidentiality and process.

As you respond these questions, notice what happens if the question is difficult to ask
or difficult to answer (both sender and receiver):

What happens to you when you are addressing a topic that has been inhibited?

What happens to your curiosity?

What are the shifts that go on in you?

Have you felt embarrassment at these ideas?

Notice when you are sharing this how your discomfort affects both of you

• Describe your first sexual experience


• What was your mother’s main advice to you about sex?
• What was your father’s main advice to you about sex?
• What do you most like about yourself sexually?
• What do you most dislike about your sexually?
• How did you learn about the ‘facts of life’ and who taught you?

Pause and notice how you’re feeling before responding to the next question.
What does this feeling mean for you?

• What did you know, think or sense about your parent’s sexual relationship?
• Describe your experiences of and feelings about masturbation
• How was your erotic excitement and arousal met?
• What would you say was the enigmatic message about sexuality that was passed
on unconsciously?
• How did you embody this?
• What is it like to be in this body?
• What pleasure and meaning does this way of being offer?
• What sort of conflicts and yearnings are maintained in this body’s way of being,
through its patterns of sexual expression?

Pause and notice the imagery in your mind before responding to the next
question. What does this imagery mean to you?

• What was your experience of yourself in your first chosen sexual relationship?
• What does your culture say about the erotic?
• What does religion affect your sexuality?
• Is there anything which disgusts you sexually? If yes, why?
• Is there something that you would like to do sexually that you have never done?
If yes, why have you never done it?
• How would you describe bad sex?
• What makes a good lover?

Pause and notice your bodily sensations before responding to the next question.
What might these bodily sensations be telling you?

• Within your most satisfying sexual relationship what is it that allows and creates
an enlivening experience?
• Why are we eager to share our friends, but demand exclusivity from our lover?
• How old will you be when you permanently stop having sex?
• Are men more prone to roam that women?
• Now add your own unique question. What questions are missing from this
questionnaire? Ask yourself the question and notice your response.

Spend time reflecting, feeling and thinking and notice what you would like to do.

Draw up your own contamination model - what are your prejudices and
delusions around sex and sexuality?

Have you a sense of the confusions you may hold at a bodily level?

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