Introduction

The reality of love has remained a mystery that like the Filipino saying, “para kang kumuha ng
is continuously being unveiled in human history. bato para ipukpok mo sa iyong ulo!.” Peck
Castillo (2016) even stated that love has always (2011) believes that falling in love is only
been inferred in varieties of meaning across temporary and when we fall in love, sooner or
cultures, references and beliefs. It has always later, we will also fall out of love. It is also not
been a main topic discussed by philosophers, an act of the will. This means that falling in love
psychologists, well known scholars and by the is not a conscious choice. It is a strong emotion
church herself. It continued to be one of the where a person feels that the feel-good feeling
most, if not the most significant experience of will last forever. It is euphoric and effortless.
every person especially when it comes to
relationships. Peck (2011) asserted even
further that it is too broad and deep that no However, falling in love is not the same with
words are enough to explain it. It remains to be staying in love because for de Mesa & Cacho
a mystery that we know so well but we cannot (2012), staying in love requires deciding and
seem to fully grasp and explain. willingness to commit. They further
emphasized that love is not only pakiramdam
but also paninindigan. Powell (1974) further
Falling and staying in love as constant explained that “It would be fatal to identify love
elements in the experience of love with a feeling because of the fickleness of
feelings. However, it would be equally lethal to
There are aspects of love that stays constant
a relationship of love if there were no warm and
despite its reality as a Mystery and having
loving feelings to support the intentions of love”
different meanings. According to de Mesa &
(p.37). Paul mentioned in his letter to the
Cacho (2012), the prominent among these
Corinthians that “Love is patient; love is kind;
aspects are Falling in love and staying in love
love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or
which are already very familiar to people. They
rude; it does not insist in its own way; it is not
further stated that “kapag nahulog ang loob sa
irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in
mangingibig para bang nakakalimot sa sarili at
wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth.” (1Cor. 13:4-
wala ng mas mahalaga pa kundi ang sinisinta.
6).
Sabi nga ng mga kabataan, and pag-ibig ay
nakakabaliw!” (p. 36). Cirese (1977) added that
a man and a woman are attracted together by a
strong physical force telling them that they are The Language of Love
meant for each other. They are filled with The language that is being used to expound love
passion and excitement and pain and fear and is another constant concept as expressed by de
are alone against the world. They are obsessed Mesa & Cacho (2012). Language can express
with one another to the point of being addicted love in a poetic or symbolic manner describing
and are willing to take all the risk in keeping the love in a deeper and meaningful way. As stated
feeling of being in love. by Braise Pascal, “the heart has reasons
unknown to reason”, and Antoine Saint
Exupery, “What is essential is invisible to the
Falling in love as asserted by de Mesa & Cacho eye. It is only with the heart that one sees
(2012) may result to something disastrous just rightly”. Chapman (1992) explained that to
understand love and the person you love, you Acts of Service
must know each other’s love languages. (Links
Can vacuuming the floors really be an
to an external site.)
expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do
to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing
on an “Acts of Service” person will speak
Chapman identified 5 love languages:
volumes. The words he/she most want to hear:
“Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken
commitments, and making more work for them
Words of Affirmation
tell speakers of this language their feelings do
Actions do not always speak louder than words. not matter. (Links to an external site.)
If this is your love language, unsolicited
compliments mean the world to you. Hearing
the words, “I love you,” are important hearing Physical Touch
the reasons behind that love sends your spirits
This language is not all about bedroom. A
skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and
person whose primary language is Physical
are not easily forgotten.
Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs,
Quality Time pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful
touches on the arm, shoulder, or face-they can
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says,
all be ways to show excitement, concern, care,
“I love you,” like full undivided attention. Being
and love. Physical presence and accessibility
there for this type of person is critical, but really
are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be
being there-with the TV off, fork and knife
unforgivable and destructive.
down, and all chores and tasks on standby-
makes your significant other feel truly special _______________________________________
and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the
The Filipino concept of “kapwa” in the
failure to listen can be especially hurtful. (Links
language of love
to an external site.)
For us Filipinos, the concept of “kapwa” is one
of the means in describing and imaging love.
Receiving Gifts Enriquez (1978) claimed that in the Philippine
value system, kapwa is at the very foundation of
Do not mistake this love language for human values especially when it comes to
materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the relationship. De Mesa and Cacho (2012)
love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. posited that being in relationship is what it
If you speak this language, the perfect gift or means to be a person in the Filipino way. The
gesture shows that you are known, you are authentic self of the Filipino as highly relational
cared for, and you are prized above whatever pertains to the concept of “loob”. Rafael (1993)
was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed believed that there is a compound word of loob,
birthday party, anniversary, or a hasty, kaloob, which can serve as a kind of connection
thoughtless gift would be disastrous-so would to its relative concept of kapwa. Kaloob simply
be the absence of everyday gestures. (Links to means “gift.” “Loob is at the root of one of the
an external site.) words for “to give,” ipagkaloob, and a gift itself
is kaloob. He further expounded that the loob,
insofar as it is loob, has a natural propensity to
give to others, to give a kaloob (gift) in order to rooted in God, Benedict XVI, in his Deus Caritas
reveal oneself as a kaloób (co-will). This is one Est, emphasized that the love of neighbor
of the fundamental outward invitations towards (kapwa) must be grounded in the love of God.
the kapwa. Therefore Miranda (1992) stressed Thus, the very foundation of love for others
that kapwa and loob cannot be separated (kapwa) is the love revealed by Jesus Christ who
because a loob that is separated from kapwa is shares this love with us through the Holy Spirit.
a useless and a hallow concept. Then, Reyes
_______________________________________
(2015) defined “loob” as relational will and
“kapwa” as togetherness with the person. This As discussed in the previous topic, loob refers
implies that the Filipino concept of love is our to our relational will that identifies our very
willingness to involve in a relationship together nature and person as Filipino. According to de
with other person/s. The Filipino language of Mesa & Cacho (2012), Filipino relationships
love is the willingness to share their loob to always involve pandama which includes both
their kapwa. He further explained that Filipino our feeling (damdamin) and our thinking (isip).
words of willingly relating (loob) together with They added that “this manner of envisioning the
others (kapwa), like pakikisama, pakikibagay, self through loob and pandama is of great
pagmamalasakit, pakikisalamuha, pakikiramay, advantage in exploring the imagery of falling
pakikipagkapwa, pakikidalamhati, pakikiisa, at and staying in love for faith. Falling and staying
iba pa are expressions of love. in love, especially within the Filipino cultural
way of considering pandama, will communicate
the insight that faith involves feeling as well
However, we should love ourselves, which is without throwing out reason together. The
healthy, before we can love others because we expression falling in love underscores the role
cannot give what we do not have. A healthy of intense feeling of love, while staying in love
self-love will somehow lead to loving our kapwa emphasizes the need for careful assessment
(neighbors/others). This means, according and strong commitment for love to endure. In
Powell (1974), that when we are asked to "love fact, it implies the whole person is truly
our neighbor as ourselves," the clear implication engaged in faith. (pp.42-43).
is whatever we would do for our neighbor
(kapwa) we would also and first do for
ourselves. In other words, it is a package deal. de Mesa and Cacho (2012), despite the danger
You have two people you must love: yourself of falling in love, asserted that it may show
and your neighbor (kapwa). You cannot really some hope of true and enduring love. It is not
love one without loving the other. Fisher (2004) automatic, something caused it. This thought
added that love is also “attachment” which and demonstration to fall in love as faith in God
involves a higher level of love like sharing a inevitably incorporates a reason which is
home, parental duties, mutual love, and outside of our self. We are strongly drawn by a
security. Ultimately, “attachment” necessitates vastly loving and lovable God. In the same way,
a desire to care for another person. For del faith is given to us, it does not come from us
Castillo (2016), the Filipino youth believes that and it is not something we made.
we can manifest our love for God and to other
people (kapwa) by being actively engaged to
our family, friends, and neighbors (kapwa). o Breaking out of the self and concern
Since the Filipino youth believes that love is for the other.
Falling in love is so powerful that instead of Falling in love and staying in love as an image
focusing on ourselves, we are moved towards for faith make us watchful that the Spirit of God
the beauty of the one we have fallen in love. is working in and out of our human experiences.
“By falling in love, a person is put on the This image acknowledges the effect of falling in
Christian trajectory of loving others. It brings love with God, and the decision to be
out the compassionate side of our personhood” committed to staying in love with God. Faith in
(p. 46). It little by little leads the person to learn God is both about falling and staying in love
to forget the self and to be genuinely concern because it is the deepest of realities for us
for the other. believers.

o Being sensitized to the real beauty of 1. Staying in love depicts a person’s

life. unshakable belief that the one he/she
loves is truly worth it. It demonstrates
A person who is in love begins to see the beauty
total trust and heartfelt effort to love
of the one he/she loves and the things around
the other. This clearly shows that faith
him/her. Nagkakaroon ng kulay ang mundo
means faithfulness. Ang tunay na
natin which lead us to be more lovable and
nagmamahal ay handang itaya ang sarili
employ more effort to look good and be good.
para sa ikagiginhawa ng minamahal.
1. Developing a vision of life. Staying in love is to be willing to make
sacrifices and make things better.
A person who has fallen in love begins to have a People in love become partners who
vision in life that he/she must accomplish will be there for each other all the time
because he loves. May pinaglalaanan and lahat especially in times of needs and
ng pagsisikap dahil may minamahal (p48). A difficulties. Ang taong nagmamahal ay
good example of this is the love story of Jacob hindi nang-iiwan lalo na sa panahon ng
and Rachel (Gen. 29). This shows the vision of kahirapan. Staying in love demands
Jacob of getting married to Rachel when he that we learn to humble ourselves in
accomplished the service he has to provide to accepting one’s wrongdoing and forgive
her father. those of the other.

2. A loving person is taking his/her

2. Impetusfor faithfulness. commitment earnestly and sincerely.
Falling in love is a wonderful experience that is Ang taong nagmamahal ay totoo sa
why most people who experienced it desire for pangako. He/She is true when it comes
the experience not to end. Sana ganito tayo to his/her intentions. Hindi niloloko
lagi. But discernment begins through the and minamahal.
impetus of falling in love where one must make
`a decision on how to stay in love. In the same
way staying in love leads to the strong belief 3. A loving person never forgets those
that faith is also a task where we must exert he/she loves. Ang tunay na
effort to make it strong. nagmamahal ay hindi kailanman
makakalimot. It takes a lifetime to really
know the one we truly love. Faith in
God simply implies that we fall in love
with God and sustain this love by
staying in love with Him/Her. This is the
same as loob and kapwa in our image
and language of love as Filipino are
inseparable because we better express
love when we willfully enter a loving
relationship together with others.