Serial Cheating Wife
Serial Cheating Wife
Serial Cheating Wife
You suspect that you married a serial cheating wife and you have no idea
what to do next, right?
Don’t feel ashamed, neither did I, and nor do the thousands of men who visit
my site and email me.
The life you knew yesterday has vanished and the one you live today feels
shaky and gloomy.
Some cheating wives regret what they did and immediately attempt to repair
the damage the caused and rebuild the trust with their hurt husbands.
Yet other betrayed husbands (and wives) would like to rebuild what has
broken in their marriage, but their gut tells them that it is not possible.
Instead, they struggle with deciding whether to just cut their losses and move
on.
I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but in many cases you have no
choice but to divorce and move on with your life.
Because it takes two who want a healthy marriage, but you are the only one
who will.
And the longer you wait around for a miracle to happen, the worse you will
feel.
Learn to read the signs of a cheating wife who will never stop.
If these scenarios above describe you then this post is for you.
You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let
them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.
C. JoyBell C.
[Take Poll]
What Serial Cheating Wife Trait Do You Fear the Most?
Low Self-EsteemSecretiveInsatiable. (Gets bored fast, needs constant excitement).ManipulativeSense of
EntitlementLack of EmpathyPassive AggressivePoor Conflict Resolution SkillsBlames You for
SadnessOther:
VoteView ResultsCrowdsignal.com
In the case of a serial cheating wife, she exhibits personality traits that help
her continue to cross the line over and over again to take part in inappropriate
behavior with various men.
This behavior regardless how you categorize it would make her husband feel
betrayed.
Cheating is cheating.
But, of course, the consistent situations which put her in high risk cheating
situations often throw her into full-blown affairs.
But I do beg you to consider the danger of staying with a serial cheating wife
who will either stay married with you and break your heart later or make you
wait while SHE decides whether to stay with you or not.
Do not hand over the power to her to decide what happens in your life.
But yet, many men hand onto a broken dream and that makes me wonder…
Why Do We Forgive Our Cheating Wives So Easily?
In some cases, she felt something was missing in her life, and she
cheated with one man, regretted it and then fought for her marriage.
However, in many other cases, the grief-stricken husband clings to the hope
of reliving those happy days from that he and his wife live in the beginning.
So he forgives her, sticks around in the relationship and prays that she will
snap out of this spell and that things can go back to how they used to be.
Instead years later, sometimes many years, he uncovers an ugly truth that
you only see in movies or documentaries or read about.
He finds out that after he forgave her, that his serial cheating wife ended
up cheating with numerous men or at least numerous times.
Even in his own mind, he thought that only men cheated, but he runs right into
the wall of reality that he married a serial cheating wife who does not know
how to stop.
And he finds himself alone in a dark place where betrayed husbands stand at
a fork in the road.
One path leads down a long winding path which ends in depression.
The other leads to a choice, where you choose how you want to feel.
You can decide to separate fact from fiction and rebuild your life because you
won’t let her (or anyone) defeat you and control how you feel.
BUT… many of you fear living alone or just fear the unknown, and stay
married even though you know you shouldn’t.
Nevertheless, he justifies her deceitful behavior and does not want to admit
that he is too fearful to leave and so he says something along the lines of the
following:
Feels lost in her life, she is still trying to figure things out.
This was her first serious relationship- she feels overwhelmed.
Her parents didn’t express their love for her, therefore, she craves
attention.
She got whatever she wanted as a child and is not used to sharing.
Things have been hard for her so she had too much to drink, got drunk
and slept with him.
She has no one to talk to about her problems so she found a friend who
listened.
I’ve been too busy with work to pay attention to her (and the kids).
I am not very sexual, she is, therefore, she needed to get her trapped
desires met- but it was just a few times and now it’s over.
He flirted with her hard and gave her attention she needed. She fell into
the temptation.
There is a lot on her plate to deal with and she felt lonely. He was there
at just the wrong time.
She’s not used to receiving the kind of attention I give her. She felt
suffocated and connected with someone who is less needy.
They all mean one thing, that our serial cheating wife will not stop cheating.
Does it really matter her reason?
Does it matter the circumstances or what kind of person she was before we
met her that makes her into the person she is today?
No, it doesn’t.
And as long as we keep making excuses for her unacceptable behavior and
stay married to her we only prolong our chance to heal and re-create a new
life for ourselves.
Others cannot.
It’s time to open your eyes to the truth so you can save yourself.
But many of you build the value of your lives around your wife.
You see your marriage as some kind of prized possession that you feel so
proud of.
And you cannot imagine the thought of looking at an empty trophy case.
As a result you decide to forgive her and give her a second chance for these
foolish reasons:
Why We Forgive Our Serial Cheating Wife Too
Easily and Give Her a Second Chance
Fear of living Alone. We’d prefer a warm body lying next to us despite
the fact she deceived and made a fool out of us then be alone.
Fear of Final Rejection. Her leaving is the ultimate blow. It’s easier to
just pretend that her cheating was just a mistake and hold onto hope that
she will snap out of her spell.
We Fear Starting Over. We erroneously hope that she will return to the
sweet, caring person she was when we first met her.
Our lives revolved around love and romance and the rest of our lives
are not where we want them to be.
She was as good as it was going to get. No one better will come along.
Which, by the way, is a pathetic way to think- did you forget that she lived a
second life behind your back?
“But it was only once. It will never happen again.” Question: Do you
actually know that it was once? And if so, why would it matter?
You Don’t Understand a Serial Cheating Wife ‘s Mindset. Do you know
the effort it takes to cheat? Do you know what goes through one’s mind
leading up to the actual action of cheating? How well do you understand a
cheater’s mindset?
Her attachment style is different than yours. You are emotionally
dependent.
Your personality leads you to make excuses for people’s poor and
deceitful behavior. You always give people the benefit of the doubt.
You’re only looking one step ahead. Have you considered what
happens next, even if she does give you reasons to trust her again? Will she
deceive you again?
Poor finances. Your personal finances are in ruins. Partly because you
cannot spending the money you do have and you have nothing saved up;
therefore, you fear living on your own- even though you secretly want to.
No support system or back up plan. You feel you have no where to live
or anyone to talk to.
Lack of surviving other traumatic situations. You may have experienced
other traumatic events, but never fully recovered emotionally. If you had
then you could apply it to this situation.
You forgive too easily.
Fear of loss. You’d rather hold onto hope then fighting to rebuild your life
and then it not working the way you want it. It would just feel like another
loss and you don’t want to deal with another bad break.
Fear what the kids’ will think. Does anyone in the family truly win when a
marriage is irreparable? Do you think your kids can detect that there’s
something wrong?
[Take Poll]
Fear of Leaving: What Do You Fear Most About Leaving
the Relationship?
Fear of the UnknownOthers' Judgement. (You'd fear that other's would think that there's a reason she
cheated on you ).Dating Again. (You'd want a relationship again, but don't think you'd find one).Fear of
Losing Her for Good. (What if she came around?)No Support System. (You have no one to talk to).Lack
of Income. (Don't know if I can financially live on my own).High DebtLonelinessDivorce Label. (You don't
want to feel like you are tarnished).Fear for the Kids. (Not sure how the kids will react).Other:
VoteView ResultsCrowdsignal.com
But my misfortune and poor decisions will help save you from more
heartbreak because you will respect and be more weary of these serial
cheating wife signs of someone who will not stop and just ruin your life if you let
them:
Poor Conflict-Resolution Skills
This doesn’t mean that you both fight a lot, rather that her disputes almost
always end unresolved where she feels disgruntled and resentful. To her, the
whole world is against her. She doesn’t normally negotiate mutually beneficial
resolutions, instead she runs from conflict or manipulatively and strategically
finagles one-sided outcomes.
Secretive
And because your serial cheating wife feels that it is her against the world she
feels the need to hide her whereabouts, intentions, conversations, thoughts
and feelings. She not dare take the chance of you or anyone else (including
her lover) to take advantage of her, instead she will administer the
manipulation to weave her web of lies in order to get what she wants.
Manipulative
The most seasoned cheaters have a keen knack of getting what they want
from their spouses. They take advantage of your compassion and
unconditional love and continue to feed off of it. She knows exactly how to
justify her selfish endeavors and dirty deeds by convincing you to feel sorry for
her.
Sense of Entitlement
Of course, the motivation that feeds your wife’s manipulative tricks is her
sense of entitlement. She feels that she deserves to get what she wants
whenever she wants it. And many times this comes at the expense of your
needs and others’ needs, for which, she feels no regret.
Passive Aggressive
For her to hide her secrets, manipulate and stemming from her misconstrued
view that the world faces off against her, a serial cheating wife knows how to
avoid and pick her battles. She tactically pulls this off by hiding her feelings
and tricking you into believing that there is no fight in the first place. This
eliminates your detection of there being any problem that needs fixed, so you
ignore it while she goes off and fulfills her needs behind your back.
Many married people are emotionally co-dependent, but it doesn’t mean that
they will cheat, but if they exhibit many of the traits on this this then I’d pay
attention. No one should get married if they rely on their spouse for emotional
completeness. This is not a fair expectation that anyone could live up to and
not one of the healthy reasons to get married.
And in the case of the serial cheating wife, it only becomes a matter of time
before their spouse cannot keep them happy and feeling loved. This lack of
fulfillment can lead to depression or to cheating. Of course, this is the essence
of serial cheating, the constant search for intimate emotional fulfillment from
other people.
If your serial cheating wife does not have her own set of personal goals or
dreams then she lives without purpose.
Then she many rely solely on whatever feels good in the moment.
Combine that with a low self-esteem and a man who comes along (usually
someone she sees a lot: a co-worker, neighbor or one of your friends or
relatives) who shows empathy for her sob story of sadness and she is ripe for
an affair.
Because you do not support her dreams or you do not make enough money to
enable her to quit her crappy job and seek her dream career.
Romance, sex and promises of trips to Europe and candlelight dinners in the
city sound exhilarating, but they won’t last.
And if your serial cheating wife envisioned the exciting parts of marriage then
how she may not have handled things well when reality set it.
I think we all enter marriage with an earful of advice from the long-time
married couples who remind us to be mindful that the “honeymoon phase” will
end- so be prepared.
However, we all ignore it and think that we can somehow beat the odds
because we possess a unique love bond.
We don’t.
And you can’t have fancy dinners out on the town every week and go to Rome
every other month.
Instead of finding the pleasure in the little things and allowing true love to
blossom, she decided to shop elsewhere.
And the new lover “magically” solves all her boredom problems.
Loves Conditionally/ Lack of Empathy
You know if you think about it, not everyone is relationship material, let alone,
marriage material, yet people get married anyway, even though they
shouldn’t.
And just because you might be marriage material doesn’t mean she is, or at
least not yet.
Why?
Anyone who possesses many of these toxic traits on this list, or even on
this list of 101 toxic personality traits, then they have no business committing
to a life-long relationship.
True Love = Unconditional Love.
When two people unite as one and be selfless, then they have no reason to
cheat and look for love outside the relationship when it sits right in front of
them.
But when you combine the desire for pleasure right now with sense of
entitlement, insatiable, blames others for holding her back and, well, hell, do I
need to continue, then you have a recipe for disaster.
I’d say it’s just a matter of time before another guy comes along (again) and
your serial cheating wife falls back on her toxic behavior and smoothly
transitions back into cheating.
I ask you, no, I beg of you to ask yourself: “Why in God’s name would you
knowingly desire to stay with a woman who exhibits many of these traits?”
But, you’ve come this far into the post and still think there’s hope, so consider
now please that if your serial cheating wife possesses many of the traits from
this list AND also has EASY opportunities to cheat after she has already done
it, then what do you expect will happen.
What do I mean by easy opportunities to cheat?
Here you go, here is a list from my own personal experience of my ex serial
cheating wife and my wasteful time dating a married woman:
And what about those times she says she stays late for OT, or that she got
stuck in a call?
Your wife spending time with men out of your presence only puts your already
broken relationship into harms way.
The workplace is one of the leading breeding grounds for affairs for just this
reason.
Married people should not be secretly communicating with opposite sex co-
workers outside of work for non-job-related issues.
Owning separate bank accounts opens the door for hiding secrets like
purchasing gifts for lovers or hotel stays.
Separate accounts may not create an affair, but it certainly makes it easier to
commit one under the wrong circumstances.
When you share one car or when one of your cars breaks down then this
causes an inconvenient situation to occur.
A male co-worker giving your wife a ride home does not mean she will fall in
love with him.
But again, this supports a pattern that down the road will be impossible to
break and could lead for easy opportunities for things to get ugly quick.
If you’re married to a woman who has already shown tendencies to cheat then
she already knows how to get away with an affair.
Once she justifies infidelity again, she will know how to hide her secrets better
than she did the first time.
It’s not to hard to make up a fake trip, especially if you do not even know
these friends or ever even see them.
Anytime she takes a trip on her own, even if it is legit she can go a day early
or take a detour.
She may go where she says she is going, and even may come back from that
same place, but in-between she could fly somewhere else.
I’ve read cheating wives stories and gotten emails from betrayed husbands
whose had affairs with wealthy men who would fly them in on private jets and
back out, or just pay for their flights.
For example, these cheating wives would go to, say, Miami for a shopping
trip, then their lover would fly them to Dallas for one night, and then fly her
back to Chicago before she returned to your home city of Washington D.C.
Or in my case, my ex would fly home to Japan, but through New York for a
few days first where she would meet up with her boyfriend.
A married woman hanging out with her single horny friends is about the
dumbest thing a married man could do if he wants to cheat-proof his marriage.
Your wife could easily get turned on by the right guy with the right approach.
Ignore all the BS about her right to hang out with friends in this situation.
However, a regular routine of clubbing with single ladies is not the right move.
She Showed the Signs of a Cheating Wife All Along
… and you just chose not to believe it
Your serial cheating wife probably displayed cheating traits and signs before
you even got married, and sure enough they led to an affair.
You read the list of these signs and traits further up on this post.
These personality flaws and unfulfilled feelings got left unaddressed and
unresolved, probably over a long period of time.
You had the opportunity to take a glimpse at these flaws through her past and
current actions, her testimonials of her interactions with others and whenever
she shared her beliefs and values with you.
The things she said, how she handled controversy with others and how she
treated others screamed “red alert” in both your head and mine.
As for me, instead of heeding the reality that my relationship was set on a
crash-course voyage, I chose Fantasyland.
I wanted to believe that love conquered all and that things would work
themselves out.
Maybe the most prudent person can address and change these flaws, but an
extremely low percentage of people do.
They don’t even think that they have a problem.
Often times in affairs the cheating spouse even blames the affair on the
innocent spouse.
I ask you, how has she handled taking responsibility for her own actions in the
past?
Are you on a sinking ship, or will she patch up the holes in the hull she caused to
keep it afloat?
She Must See Her Own Issues and Seek Help
The person who does the breaking must do the fixing.
The cheating spouse must first want to stay in the relationship and then
proactively take the action to earn your trust back.
The only decision you have is it worth the risk to stay in the relationship.
And even if you do stay, and things do seem to miraculously turn around for
the better, how long will that last?
What’s it like to stay with a cheater?
Despite everything I have shared here in this post, if you feel in your heart that
she regrets what she did and wants to save your marriage then I would
recommend you purchase and download these eBooks.
They have all helped me and thousands of other betrayed husbands either
save their marriage or at least save themselves.
And no, the pain did not completely go away regarding what my serial cheater
wife did.
However, if you feel in your gut, that you have a chance to save your
marriage, then I suggest “Break Free from the Affair”.
It will arm you with customized strategies and phrases to use on her to turn
things around.
[Click Here] to learn more about how identifying which of the “Break Free from
the Affair” 7 kinds of affairs and how Dr. Huizenga’s 1-10 scales can help you
decide how to approach your wife.
Or read my detailed review of Break Free from the Affair.
2. How to Survive Your Wife’s Affair … written by a Betrayed Husband Who Saved His
Marriage
…and Now Helps Other Husbands Save Theirs
By now you may have already heard about Kevin Jackson’s ebook “Survive
Her Affair”.
His team emailed me a copy to review. Most of the book is spot on with how I
feel as a man whose wife cheated on him. Kevin’s thorough research and
personal interviews with marriage therapists and psychologists provide his
broken-heart readers with hope.
If you desire to sort out the painful feelings associated with an affair then read
my “Survive Her Affair” Review
[Click Here] to read more information about Kevin Jackson’s life-changing
book “Survive Her Affair”.
3. Advice for Your Regretful Cheating Wife to Earn Your Trust Back
If She Wants to Repair the Damage She Caused Then…
Read my review of Dr. Frank Gunzburg’s “How to Survive an Affair”
Actually the advice is designed for the two of you to work together, but Dr.
Gunzburg wrote half of this guide to help your wife learn how she can
successfully rebuild your trust back.
Visit Dr. Gunzburg’s site to read more information about his guide “How to
Survive and Affair”.