RPG - Alchool

THE COMPLETE
GUIDE TO ALCOHOL FOR FANTASY

ROLE-PLAYING GAMES
THE BIGGEST, BEST, AND MOST POPULAR ROLE-PLAYING ACCESSORY ON THE NET
If all be true that I do think, There are five

reasons we should drink; Good wine - a friend -
or being dry - Or lest we should be by and by -
Or any other reason why.
--- Henry Aldrich
My manner of living is plain and I do not mean

to be put out of it. A glass of wine and
a bit of mutton are always ready.
--- George Washington
What harm in drinking can there be,

Since punch and life so well agree.
--- Blacklock
Drunkenness is the vice of a good constitution, or

of a bad memory! Of a constitution so treacherously good,
that it never bends until it breaks; or of a memory that
recollects the pleasures of getting drunk, but forgets the
pains of getting sober.
--- Colton
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou.
--- Omar Khayyam
He who drinks one glass of wine a day

Will live to die some other way.
--- Anon
Their wine is the poison of dragons, and the

cruel venom of asps.
--- Deuteronomy 32:33
We made neere twentie gallons of wine.
--- Capt. John Smith
Formatted for Word by LOBO ([email protected])

The Complete Guide to Alcohol 2
COPYRIGHT (C) 1996
All trademarks of products, company names, logos, phrases, service names, and/or slogans are trademarks of
the respective companies, artists, and/or individuals, where applicable.
The following guide is the property of its author, who hereby states that he retains the copyright except for
where noted. You may distribute it at will, provided that nothing in the guide, this notice, or any of the
credits are altered in any way; and that you do not make a profit from it.
This document is not for sale and is made available for private game use only.
*** DISCLAIMER ***
All contents of this guide are presented for game purposes only. In no way is this guide intended to persuade
people of any age to drink alcoholic beverages or to persuade people to reproduce fantasy creations in real
life. The author of the guide does not condone the use of alcohol, especially for those under the legal age.
Hopefully, information presented in this guide will educated on the dangers of alcohol. In fact, it would be
preferred that people use this guide to allow thier fictitious characters to indulge in the use of alcohol in place
of them. A character can be thrown in the trash, a person is a lot harder to dispose of. In no way will the
author of this guide or the contributors of this guide be held responsible for other persons' actions.
Advice oriented information is not to be taken as legal consultation or legal service, but as suggestions and
examples of real- world or hypothetical models. Always consult a lawyer for legal and lawful guidance. The
opinions and views contained in this guide reflect those of the individual authors. The opinions, content, and
organization of this magazine are in no way connected with the faculty and staff of any educational institute
where this guide was found.
2
TABLE OF CONTENTS
· Initial Reactions To The Guide 4

· Preface 5
· Guide Game Mechanics 6
· The RPG Drinking Game 7
· Introduction To Alcohol 9
· Proficiency In Brewing 12
· Proficiency In Wine-Making 13
· Proficiency In Distilling 14
· Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Distilleries 14
· When The Still Explodes 17
· Effects Of Alcohol 17
· Recovery From Intoxication 21
· Stimulants for Recovering From Intoxication 23
· A More Sinister Side Of Drinking: Alcohol Addiction 24
· Alcoholic Diseases 26
· Crazy Drunk: A Look At Dipsomania 27
· Fetal Alcohol Syndrome 28
· Non-Weapon Skills 30
· Not A Typical Assortment Of Weapons 33
· Getting To Know Your Booze 35
· Spells With A Twist Of Lime 40
· Lohocla's Tome of Ultimate Chaos 56
· Popular & Strange Alcohols Amongst The Worlds 70
· Alcohol Drink Additives 86
· Extracts From the Net Poison Digest 88
· No Guide Is Complete Without Magic-Items 89
· (MAGIC-ITEM) La Bouteille Magique de Chandon (Chandon's Amazing Bottle) 96
· (MAGIC-ITEM) Dionysus's Moltov Cocktails 104
· (MAGIC-ITEM) The Mugs of Endless Refreshment 106
· (MONSTER) What A Cute Rodent 108
· (MONSTER) Hey Bartender, There's A Fish In My Drink
109
· (MONSTER) Have A Picnic With These Ants 110
· (MONSTER) The Best, The Beast 111
· (MONSTER) Woof, Woof, Hiccup 112
· (MONSTER) A Little Worm Can't Hurt
113
· (MONSTER) A Monk's Best Friend and a Life Saver: The Saint Bernard 114
· (MONSTER) I Think I Saw a Pink Elephant!!! 115
· (MONSTER) A Horse is a Horse of Course: The Clydesdales 116
· (MONSTER) What Just Flew in My Drink? An Alcohol Hummingbird 120
· (MONSTER) Yo-Ho-Ho and a Bottle of Rum, A New Sea-Side Skeleton 121
· (MONSTER) That Lich is a Luch 123
· (MONSTER) A Dragon With More Than A Drinking Problem 125
· The Guardian Of Alcohol Is A Leprechaun? 127
· The Mythos 129
· The Alcohol Deities 130
· Holy/Unholy Alcohol 142
· Alcohol Organizations Of All Sorts 145
· Revenuer: Fighter Kit 151
· Non-Player Characters & Their Work 153
· Taverns And Bars From Campaigns 154
· Taverns And Bars From Novels 155
· Story Time 157
· Glossary 159
· Drinking Songs 160
· Some Famous And Not So Famous Quotes On Wine 162
· Other Related Reading Materials 164
· Special Thanks 165
3
UPDATED: 04/01/96
INITIAL REACTIONS TO THE GUIDE
"NO THANKS."
--- TSR's DRAGON magazine
"It looks GREAT. You are to be commended on a really terrific job. You have outdone yourself. Enough
cliches. I really liked it. Thanks."
--- Mr. Blackheart
"Great stuff. See ya round."
--- Mr. Scott
"...I think it is not big... it's GREAT."
--- Mr. Fernando
"I have several requests from our gaming (or gamey depending on how you look at it) group for your work.
It's a hit...! Congrats...!
--- Mr. Scott
PREFACE
4
In December '91, I began to make a small informative guide about alcohol based on discussions on the
Internet. It was a small project that served the purposes of the time. In '92 I helped on other guides and they
turned into nice guides. I hoped to create a great guide with more useful material than any guide of the past by
re-working the initial alcohol stuff, and so The Complete Guide To Alcohol was reborn. I requested some help
on the net for people to look it over. Well, this caused quite a stir and I realized that the guide was very
incomplete as suggestions for more sections started pouring in. Over a few months, ideas, comments,
criticisms, and additions kept coming. I even established a small mailing list to correspond to these people.
Eventually, this final product was reached.
One objective in making the guide was to make the guide informative. Information is as valuable if not
more valuable than just rules. You might just learn a thing or two as well. However, there are plenty of rules
in the guide for those who like them. To satisfy all gamers, attempts were made to have an extensive guide
filled with stuff.
This guide will add a new and often times funny dimension to any campaign. The key is funny. One
objective was to try and keep it light and fun. There are real-world problems with alcohol, but RPGs are
fantasy worlds where the purpose is fun and recreation.
This guide is extensive enough that there should be something for everybody. And if not, then you can just
throw it away (it's not like you had to pay for it).
For the most part, the material enclosed will have been playtested and in a workable form. In others, you
may have to make further adjustments to fit the ideas into your campaign. All rules are optional and whatever
is needed by the GM should be used. It is suggested that you at least try to use everything and see how it goes.
If it works well then use it, if not get rid of it. I would be interested in knowing the results and any changes
you've made.
Acknowledgment to the contributiors is given in the Special Thanks section of this guide. I would
appreciate those names in the Special Thanks section are not removed, changed, or altered since we are the
ones who deserve credit our names should remain with the guide. Of course I can't really stop anybody from
doing what they want. I just ask that you respect those who made this guide possible because I'm sure that
they will continue to make great material for net use.
P.S.
Much criticism has been aimed at the guides that I create. Some feel that characters are forced to roll instead
of role-play. Some feel that its contradictory to increase role-playing by adding more tables.
I don't think that some rules hamper role-playing. A lot of players don't like bad things to happen to their
characters and will prevent these things to happen. Having the rules on getting drunk and having hangovers
allows the GM to ensure that the character suffers, but suffers fairly. Of course the player must still role-play
the drunk character, but now he will know what abilities are effected. On the same note, I find that tables like
the hangover table gives the characters something to work with instead of just saying he has a hangover.
Rolling on the table and finding out you are vomiting can be fun. The character still must role-play (e.g. he
feels the urge to puke and runs outside only to find that he upchucks on the captain of the city watch). It just
helps to give the players some direction. Being free to let a character do anything in the name of role-playing
isn't right. Most RPGs have many rules and to criticize rules that others make isn't fair. Why not criticize the
combat system, spell casting, and such (of course some of you do)? You could say that the limitations put on
spells hampers role-playing. Why not let characters flourish with dramatic spell-use that isn't encumbered
with rules? My point is that some rules are to much, but using certain ones that you like at the right time will
enhance role-playing by giving players something to work with. Its your game so do what you want.
There are many types of players around, some like rules others don't. I just put everything in my guides
based on what people ask for. I don't limit the guide to just what I want. I just don't use what I like. I use what
people want and suggest.
Another complaint is that there is to much work for the GM to use the rules interactivly. The problem is
that the GM will have to look at lots of tables and ask players to roll dice and it breaks the game rhythm, but
if he just passes a note or tells a player "the next morning you feel very sick and wake-up with a terrible
headache" it is quick and the players have the opportunity of giving good role playing. I feel that there is
already a lot of dice rolling in AD&D. To make a statement about saying "dice rolling in a tavern will hamper
role- playing" is like saying "to much dice rolling in combat hampers role- playing". I don't think rolling a few
dice while in a tavern will impede role-playing. It is not like the dice rolling is an addition to other dice
rolling. Most players don't have many opportunities to roll dice while characters visit a tavern. So this
minimal amount of dice rolling for alcohol reasons should not restrict role-playing. Besides good GMs can
allow the players to assists in examining tables and rolling dice so it goes by quickly.
I would like to quote a friend who seems to say it all about people's complaints:
"I think all those that complain that the guides are too strict or
difficult to roll are a wee too steeped in the judicial side of the game,
5
i.e. following the rules to the letter. I suppose someone ought to mention
that what you're doing is creating guides for those who want to have a bit
more realism in certain situations, not creating rules that MUST be played.
In general, I've found a lot of useful ideas contained in your guides which
can be used or abused to make my games more enjoyable. Thanks for
collecting all of this stuff."
GUIDE GAME MECHANICS
The rules presented are intended for any RPG. Because of the variance between games, the mechanics used in
this guide are explained here.
The guide uses eight attributes for a character. These attributes are as followed:
· Physical Strength - physical power.
· Intelligence - knowledge and wit.
· Wisdom - judgement and common sense.
· Constitution - heartiness and "spirit".
· Charisma - allure, charm, and leadership.
· Dexterity - prowess and quickness.
· Luck - fortune and fate.
· Attractiveness - comeliness and physical looks.
Number references to attributes use the 3 to 18 scale which is common among RPGs. Some RPGs use a
percentile scale for attributes, if this is desired merely multiple the number listed by 5.56 to get the
percentage.
Most systems have some system for characters to get out or save themselves from dangerous situations.
Systems vary but the following categories are used here:
· paralyzation, poison, death magic, demon/deity power and other really nasty stuff.
· rod, staff, wand, and other powerful magic-items (no artifacts).
· petrifaction, polymorph, and other magics that severely alter the body.
· breath weapon and other powerful natural attacks.
· spells, and other common magical effects.
Spell levels are only provide as a measure for the spells in this guide. The spell levels don't represent spell
levels of any given RPG system. Compare the power of the spells presented in this guide with the level of
spells in your game system and adjust the level accordingly.
A sub-class is a standard class that provides more specific detail. The sub-class sections have the following
info:
· Introduction/Description/Role - Information.
6
· Qualifications - Requirements.
· Specialty - Another name for the class.
· Preferred Schools/Barred Schools - For clerics and mages, these are the magic schools. There are a variety
of schools in many systems so the most popular ones are used here. Schools are necromancy, alteration
enchantment, invocation, evocation, conjuring/summoning/thaumaturgy, illusion, deviation, abjuration.
· Chosen Disciplines/Sciences/Devotions - Most psionics in RPGs are broken down into a hierarchy of
powers. In this guide devotions are the powers at the bottom.
· Secondary Skills - Other abilities.
· Weapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for weapons.
· Nonweapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for non-weapon abilities.
· Equipment - Suggested and banned equipment.
· Special Benefits/Special Hindrances - The mechanics that make the sub-class.
· Wealth Options - Monetary information.
· Races - Races allowed.
THE RPG DRINKING GAME
What can be more fun then playing a role-playing game? Well how about adding an alcohol drinking game?
Its a game inside a game. Of course, drinking games aren't for everybody. First, a person must be 21 years of
age or older to engage in alcohol consumption. However, this game can still be played with non-alcoholic
beverages just as well. Second, those that do drink while engaged in role-playing games might not enjoy
drinking games. That's fine. People enjoy different things in life. For those that do like drinking games and
enjoy role-playing games, this ones for you.
Not all the rules presented here need to be used. Before the game begins, the rules used must be defined.
The more rules, the more alcohol consumed.
"Must drink" indicates that the drinker must take a drink of his beverage. A drink is typically a swallow
(preferably a good gulp). "Must consume beverage" indicates that the drinker must finish his current serving
(ex. glass of beer, shot of liquor).
NOTE: Drinking alcohol and driving don't mix Drinking alcohol impairs the reflexes and judgment,
increasing the odds of killing yourself or murdering someone else. Among young adults between the ages of
16-24 alcohol-related car wrecks are the leading cause of death. So, don't be stupid. Designate a driver who
will remain sober before you start drinking. With the proper measures taken in advance for responsible
partying, you can enjoy gaming for years to come.
BEGINNING THE GAME
LEVEL
PC Rule: For every level the character has, the player must take a drink.
GM Rule: For every level the most powerful NPC has, the GM must drink.
MAIN ABILITY
PC Rule: For every point in the character's major ability score, the GM must drink.
GM Rule: For every point in the most powerful NPC's ability score, the GM must drink.
ROLE-PLAYING THE TRIP TO THE TAVERN
ROLE-PLAYING
7
PC Rule: Get totally into character; role-playing at its best. When the character drinks, the player must
drink.
GM Rule: Get totally into character; role-playing at its best. When a major NPC drinks, the GM must
drink.
DRINKING
PC Rule: Every time the character fails his drinking Constitution check, the player must consume his
beverage.
GM Rule: Every time a NPC fails his drinking Constitution check, the GM must consume his beverage.
COMBAT
CRITICAL HIT/FAIL
PC Rule: Every critical hit the GM rolls, the player must consume his beverage . Every critical fail the
player rolls, the player must consume his beverage.
GM Rule: Every critical hit a player rolls, the GM must consume his beverage. Every critical fail the GM
rolls, the GM must consume his beverage.
DEATH
All Rule: If a character dies, then everybody must consume his beverage. Then, everybody must make a
short speech, eulogy, or at least a toast in remembrance of the character then consume another beverage.
FAILURE
PC Rule: Every time a save, ability check, to-hit roll, fails then the player must drink.
GM Rule: Every time a save, ability check, to-hit roll, fails of a major NPC then the GM must drink.
KILL
PC Rule: Every time the character kills, the player must consume his beverage.
GM Rule: Every time a major NPC dies, the GM must consume his beverage.
MISCELLANEOUS
CHARGES
PC Rule: For every charge a magic-item loses from use by a character, the player must drink.
GM Rule: For every charge a magic-item loses from use by a NPC, the GM must drink.
HEALING
PC Rule: For every point healed, the player must drink. Another option the GM may opt for is to allow the
player to drink a glass of water, eat something, take some medicine, or do something else to help heal his
intoxication.
CURSE
PC Rule: If the character gets curse, the player must drink every minute (or other increment of time
depending on the severity of the curse) until the curse is lifted.
GM Rule: Once a character's curse is lifted, the GM must consume his beverage.
RIDDLE
PC Rule: If the character can't figure out a riddle, the player must drink.
GM Rule: If the player character figures out a riddle, the GM must drink.
SPECIAL ABILITY
PC Rule: If a character uses a special ability of his class (cast, spell, thief skills, special weapon), the
player must drink.
GM Rule: If any NPC uses a special ability of his class, the GM must drink.
TALK
All Rule: Drink every time somebody says a key game word like "spell", "roll", "attack", "damage",
"magic", etc.. A list of key words should be set up before the game. Everybody could use the same words or
each individual player (and GM) can have their own list so when they say their key word they drink.
INTRODUCTION TO ALCOHOL
Beer after wine is not recommended.

8
Wine after beer is praised.
--- Anon
People of the ancient world began to make alcoholic beverages not because they wanted to become
intoxicated, but for more practical reasons. One reason was that there were very few ways in which food could
be preserved (with magic being one way, but common people are limited in this regard). The people of those
times found that fruit juice soon spoiled, but that fermented juice, or wine, would keep. The alcohol produced
by the fermentation stopped the growth of the bacteria which spoiled the juice. They also noticed that persons
who drank fermented liquors did not become sick as often as those that drank water or unfermented
beverages. This was not because alcoholic drinks themselves were healthful, but many springs and wells were
impure and the drinking of the water caused sickness and death.
Another factor that made alcohol popular is that the majority of the population was poor and they spent the
little money they had on alcoholic drinks to escape from their sad reality.
Brewing and wine making are very important to civilization. Beer and ale are the principal beverages of
the poor. Wines in great variety are served at the tables of the rich. Many religious establishments use wine
during their services. Liquor is one of the products with which the lords pay their debts under the feudal
system. Merchant guilds control the beer and wine trades and regulate business practices.
Of course, there are some societies who adhere to the principal of total abstinence from alcohol, or
"teetotalism". The term "teetotal" was suppose to be used first in one local society which had two classes of
members: those abstaining only from spirits, whose names were marked O.P. (old pledge which allows wines
and beers which seems necessary to substitute the dangerous, polluted water) on the roll, and those who
included wine (i.e. no alcohol of any type) in their pledge. The latter were identified with the letter T for
Total.
Beer
The common word "beer" seems to be derived throughout the known realms from the word "bibere", meaning
"to drink". Amongst the various races, the base of the word is the mostly the same but the spelling is
somewhat different. Beer is known as "bier" to the dwarves, "biere" to the elves, "bierra" to the gnomes, "bir"
to the halflings, and "biru" to those in the Orient.
Beer is a beverage obtained by the yeast-caused fermentation of a malted cereal, usually barley malt, to
which hops and water have been added. Among the earliest records of its use is a Ancient Baklunish tablet,
inscribed with a cuneiform recipe for the "wine of the grain". The origin of beer brewing, however, has not
been determined; nor is it known whether bread or beer was invented first.
The ancients are thought to have the first to render barley more suitable for brewing by malting, a process
in which the barley grains are germinated, developing the enzymes that transform starch into fermentable
sugars.
Types of Beer
Lager is a pale, medium-hop-flavored beer that averages 3.3 to 3.4 percent alcohol by weight and is high in
carbonation.
Lager is kept for several months at a temperature of about 33 degrees Fahrenheit in order to mellow. One
of the problems faced by most brewers of lager is the necessity of storing the beer in a cool, undisturbed place
for several months after brewing. The usual solution was the use of underground caves, where such were
available or could be made. An extract from the diary of an adventurer:
"We've recently discovered a mammoth cave complex that apparently was connected to a long lost Brewery.
Our party consists of 8 people. We all carried torches, which were necessary to properly illuminate the dark
recesses, and to enable one to find his way out into daylight, should he chance to stray away from the others.
After passing through several long cellars, with flagged with stone and roofs arched brick, and lined on either
side with rows of huge puncheons, we plunged still deeper into the bowels of the earth, only to find still
longer and more numerous arched passages, all lined with the same enormous puncheons, and the puncheons
all filled with foaming lager beer, not the typical treasure of our ilk but treasure just the same.
The mapper figures the dimensions are 15 feet in width and 12 to 15 feet in height, built of brick and
totaling 600 feet of tunnel. With a capacity of close to 100,000 barrels.
It really is exciting to discover these caves. I recall one brewery that was named 'Cave Brewery', its cave
covered an area of one mile and were three stories deep."
The temperature of caves like this one was not always cold enough and in many cases ice had to be used,
particularly during the summer months, to assure the proper level for the beer being stored. This was easy
enough where ice could be cut from a frozen river or lake and kept for summer needs. Ice could be a very
profitable business by clever entrepreneurs. Of course, ice isn't necessary for smart brewers. One master
brewer began brewing beer and had his cellar "so near an aceqia, irrigation trench, that the flow of the water
9
kept the brew cold. Another ingenious fellow enslaved a few dozen ice toads to do his bidding in his storage
areas. Of course, there are many more monsters that if used properly could be of great service. And one
shouldn't have to mention the use of magic.
A seasonal dark-brown beer, bock, owes its color to a roasting of the malt, and is heavier and richer in taste
than lager.
Stout, a very dark beer, is brewed with a combination of roasted and regular malt and has a strong hop taste.
Another dark beer, porter, is a mixture of ale and beer which makes a sweet, malty brew, with a 6 to 7
percent alcohol content.
Malt liquor is a beer made from a high percentage of fermentable sugars that are largely derived from malt.
The resulting beverage has a higher alcohol content (5 to 9 percent by weight) than regular beer. The flavor is
mildly fruity and spicy, without a hint of hops.
Ale
Ale is brewed from the same basic ingredients as lager beer; the difference in flavor is caused in part by a
different strain of yeast. Ale yeast ferments at higher temperatures than lager and imparts a distinctive tang
and a somewhat higher alcohol content. Also, it is generally brewed with more hops than beer, giving it the
tart taste. Ale has a pale color which comes from the use of a light-colored malt, generally barley. Of course,
ale is the drink of the dwarf, as they were the first race in recorded history to brew it.
Mead
Mead is an intoxicating alcoholic beverage made by fermenting honey and water, sometimes with fruit and
spices added as flavorings. With beer and ale, mead is one of the oldest of fermented drinks. Mead is favorite
drink of the elf. Elves are thought to be the founders of mead and given its sweet nature, they are given the
credit.
Wine
Wine is an alcoholic beverage made from fermented grape juices. Growing grapes for wine is one of the
world's most important farming activities, and is a major feature of the economy of many wine-producing
countries. Most wines are named after the geological places that they are produced. For example, a very
popular sparkling wine throughout the world is Champagne, the small wine community that invented the
champagne method for creating fortified wines.
Wine had a more practical reason in the beginning than the mere pleasure of drinking. Ancient peoples had
little pure water to drink, and they learned that alcohol formed by fermentation protected fruit juice from
spoiling. The people who drank this fermented juice, or wine, did not get sick so often as those who drank the
impure water. This reason for wine drinking continues down to the present day in many parts of the world.
Many people take wine as part of their regular diet and use it instead of water for drinking.
Bards have sung the praises of wine throughout the ages. They write of the friendliness of wine. Many
clerics write of the intoxicating powers of wine. One such reference is "Look not upon the wine when it is red,
when it giveth his color in a cup... at the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder". Another
reference is "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging".
Some gods of wine are also looked on as the god of good living, a lawgiver, and a promoter of civilization.
Wine also has come down through the ages as part of religious celebrations.
· Light
Light wines may be either red, white, or rose and also dry, medium, or sweet. For red wine, the grapes are
crushed immediately after picking and the stems generally removed. The yeasts present on the skin come in
contact with the grape sugars, and fermentation begins naturally. Cultured yeasts, however, are sometimes
added. During fermentation the sugars are converted by the yeasts to ethyl alcohol and carbon dioxide. The
alcohol extracts color from the skins; the longer the vatting period, the deeper the color. Traditional
maturation of red wine takes up to two years in 50-gallon oak casks, during which time the wine is racked -
drawn off its lees, or sediment -three or four times into fresh casks to avoid bacterial spoilage. Further aging is
usually advisable after bottling.
The juice of most grape varieties is colorless. Grapes for white wine are also pressed immediately after
picking, and the must starts to ferment. Fermentation can proceed until it is completed, which will make a dry
white wine; or it can be stopped to make a sweeter wine. Minimum contact with the air retains the freshness
of the grapes.
To make rose wines, the fermenting grape juice is left in contact with the skins just long enough for the
alcohol to extract the required degree of color. Vinification then proceeds as for white wine.
10
· Sparkling
The best and most expensive sparkling wines are made by the champagne method, in which cultured yeasts
and sugar are added to the base wine, inducing a second fermentation in the bottle. The resulting carbon
dioxide is retained in the wine. Other methods, however, such as carbonation, are also practiced.
· Fortified
The alcohol content of fortified wines is raised by adding grape spirits. With port, brandy added during
fermentation kills off the yeasts, stopping fermentation, and leaves the desired degree of natural grape sugar in
the wine. Sherry is made by adding spirit to the fully fermented wine. Its color, strength, and sweetness are
then adjusted to the required style before bottling.
· Aromatized
Aromatized wines are famous for their distinctive odor, called bouquet. It results from the addition of
aromatic herbs and spices to the wine. Such wines have an alcoholic content of 15 to 20 percent.
· Serving Wine
Many persons prefer to serve only one wine with a meal, usually a dry wine. When a number of wines are
served with a formal dinner, they are served in the following manner. Sherry is served with the appetizer or
soup. Any dry white wine goes well with fish or seafood. Meat courses are best accompanied by any dry red
wine. A dry white wine should be served with creamed dishes. A sparkling or sweet wine is good for dessert.
· Bottle Storage
Wine bottles should be laid on their side to prevent the corks from drying out and the air getting at the wine.
There should be no great fluctuation in temperature: 55-60 degrees Fahrenheit for reds, 50-55 degrees
Fahrenheit for whites being ideal. Humidity should be 70 to 80 percent, and the storage place should be free
from drafts, light, and vibration.
Liquor
· Distilled
Brandy is obtained by distilling wine or a fermented fruit mash, after it has been aged in oak casks. The
alcohol content of brandy is 45 to 55 percent.
Whiskey is distilled from a fermented mash of corn, rye, barley, or wheat. It is then aged in wooden
barrels. Whiskey has an alcohol content ranging from 40 to 54 percent. Whiskey is designated as straight or
blended. Straight whiskey is the pure distillate, which is reduced or cut, to the desired alcohol strength with
distilled water. Blended whiskey is straight whiskey blended with pure alcohol.
Rum is distilled fermented mash of sugar cane or molasses.
· Compounded
Compounded liquors are pure distilled spirits which have been flavored with various seeds, roots, leaves,
flowers, or fruits.
Gin is made by distilling a mash of rye, corn, or other grain in a special kind of still called a pot still.
Juniper berries give the gin flavor. The alcohol content of gin is about 40 percent.
Cordial is made by combining some spirit such as brandy with sugar and certain flavorings, Examples of
the fruit cordials are apricot, blackberry, cherry, raspberry, and strawberry liqueurs. plant cordials include
creme de menthe (flavored with mint), creme de casso (whose flavor is obtained from cascao and vanilla
beans), and creme de rose (flavored with vanilla and essential oil of rose petals).
SKILL IN BREWING
God loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson
11
Introduction
The character with the Brewing skill is trained in the art of brewing beers and other strong drinks. The
character can prepare brewing formulas, select quality ingredients, set up and manage a brewery, control
fermentation, and age the finished product.
The Process Of Brewing
Brewing is the making of fermented alcoholic beverages, such as beer and ale, from cereal grains. The term
brewing is usually applied to all the steps in the process of making beer and ale, but actually the operation has
two steps, malting and brewing.
Malting is the preparation of the grain for the brewing. The grain, usually wheat or barley, is soaked in
water for 48 to 76 hours. The water is drained and replaced with fresh water at least once a day. When the
grain is soft, it is piled in heaps. Here the grain starts to sprout small root shoots. This is called germination.
When the sprouting starts, the grain is spread out to a depth of about ten inches. When the sprouts are about
two-thirds the length of the grain, the germination is halted by placing the grain in an oven called a dry kiln.
The grain, or malt as brewers call it at this stage, is then baked dark and crisp in temperatures ranging 155
degrees to 220 degrees Fahrenheit. The lower temperatures are used in making light beer, and the higher
temperatures for dark beer.
Brewing begins after the dry malt is crushed between rollers and mixed with water to form a mash. The
mash is made thinner with hot water and brought to a temperature of 145 degrees Fahrenheit. The mash is
stirred constantly at this temperate. During this stage of brewing the beer or ale undergoes chemical changes
which make the exact temperature very important. The heat is increased slowly to about 160 degrees
Fahrenheit. This liquid, called wort, is then drained from the grain, or grist.
Hops made from the dried flowers of the hop vine are then added to the wort and the mixture is boiled for
one to six hours. One to twelve pounds of hops are mixed with every hundred gallons of wort. The hops keep
the beverage from spoiling and also add flavor to it.
The boiled wort is cooled and placed in fermenting vats. About five pounds of yeast are added to each one
hundred gallons of wort. Most beer is made with bottom fermentation, using a yeast that becomes active at
temperatures from 43 degrees to 46 degrees Fahrenheit and stays at the bottom of the fermentation vat. Top
fermentation is used for ale, porter, and stout. A yeast is used which becomes active at temperatures from 60
degrees to 68 degrees Fahrenheit.
After fermenting several days, the wort is run into a settling vat. The yeast rises to the surface and is
skimmed off. The beer is then drawn off and stored in casks and barrels to age before being bottled.
Skill
A normal skill check is not made because normal skill checks only judge success or failure and not quality.
Instead the percentile dice are rolled to decide the quality of the brew (using Table 1). An initial modifier of 6
will guarantee that a brewer will never make a terrible drink. A one time modifier equal to Wisdom is added.
Also for each slot given to this skill, a modifier equal to Intelligence is added.
TABLE 1: Quality Of Brew
Die Roll Quality

01-05 Terrible
06-15 Very Poor
16-35 Poor
36-65 Normal
66-85 Good
86-95 Very Good
96-00 Excellent
Thus, our hero Rath (Intelligence: 15, Wisdom: 8) has three non-weapon skill slots allocated to brewing
because he hopes to be a master brewer some day and retire from the life of adventuring. He decides to whip
up a batch of malt liquor beer. After completing the brewing process, it is time to sample the quality of Rath
Malt Liquor Beer. He rolls a mere 13 on the percentile dice, which would normally produce a poor (13+6=19)
quality brew. However, due to Rath's experience, Intelligence (3*15=45), and Wisdom (8); he gains a
modifier of 53. Therefore, the quality of Rath's beer is good (72).
SKILL IN WINE-MAKING
12
Bier is Menschenwerk, Wein is von Gott!

Beer is made by men, wine by God!
--- Martin Luther
Introduction
The character with the Wine-Making skill is trained in the art of fermenting fruits and making the various
wines from them. The character can prepare wine formulas, select quality ingredients, set up and manage a
winery, control fermentation, and age the finished product.
The Process Of Wine-Making
Wine is the fermented juice of the grape or some other fruit. Some fruit juice ferments easily because it
already contains sugar. The more widely used fruits are the grape, apple, cherry, and blackberry. The quality
and quantity of fruits depend on geographical geological, and climatic conditions in the vineyards, and on the
grape variety and methods of cultivation. Some of these factors may be governed by local laws. The crop is
harvested in the autumn when the grapes contain the optimum balance of sugar and acidity. Wine falls into
two general groups, dry and sweet, depending on the taste and the percentage of sugar remaining or after
fermentation.
Wine grapes are crushed, but not enough to crush the seeds. The must, or juice from the crushing, is run
into vats which hold from 25 to 100 barrels. The juice is then allowed to ferment the length of time needed for
the type of wine wanted. The first must that flows from the crushed fruit makes the choicest wines, and is
drawn of first. When the fermentation has gone on to the stage desired, the wine is drawn off into casks called
tuns. It remains in these casks until it is suitable for drinking. It is in this stage that the chemical changes take
place which fix the bouquet, or flavor or aroma, of the wine. Dry wines are made by allowing most of the
sugar to turn into alcohol. The sweetness of sweet wines comes from the sugar allowed to remain in the wine.
Skill
A normal skill check is not made because normal skill checks only judge success or failure and not quality.
Instead the percentile dice are rolled to decide the quality of the wine (using Table 1). An initial modifier of 6
will guarantee that a wine maker will never make a terrible wine. A one time modifier equal to Wisdom is
added. For each slot given to this skill, a modifier equal to Intelligence is added.
TABLE 1: Quality Of Wine
Die Roll Quality

01-05 Terrible
06-15 Very Poor
16-35 Poor
36-65 Normal
66-85 Good
86-95 Very Good
96-00 Excellent
Thus, our hero Roxanna (Intelligence: 15, Wisdom: 8) has three non-weapon skill slots allocated to wine
making because she hopes to be a master wine maker some day and retire from the life of adventuring. She
decides to whip up a batch of light, sweet, red, apple wine (one of her favorites). After completing the wine
making process, it is time to sample the quality of Roxanna Apple Dimple' Wine. She rolls a mere 13 on the
percentile dice, which would normally produce a poor (13+6=19) quality wine. However, due to Roxanna's
experience, Intelligence (3*15=45), and Wisdom (8); she gains a modifier of 53. Therefore, the quality of her
wine is good (72).
SKILL IN DISTILLING
Introduction
13
The character with the Distilling skill is trained in the art of distilling hard liquor. The character can prepare
distilling formulas, select quality ingredients, set up and manage a distillery, control fermentation, and age the
finished product.
The Process Of Distilling
Distillation is the process in which a complex mixture or substance is broken up into relatively pure or
individual components by being heated until the components vaporize one by one and are made to condense
individually. The next section of this guide deals extensively with the process.
Skill
Two skill checks are made. The first is a normal 1d20 check. Success or failure is irrelevant. The still will
explode on a natural roll of 20. The second check is not a normal skill check because normal skill checks only
judge success or failure and not quality. Instead the percentile dice are rolled to decide the quality of the brew
(using Table 1). An initial modifier of 6 will guarantee that a brewer will never make a terrible drink. A one
time modifier equal to Wisdom is added. Also for each slot given to this skill, a modifier equal to Intelligence
is added.
TABLE 1: Quality Of Liquor
Die Roll Quality

01-05 Terrible
06-15 Very Poor
16-35 Poor
36-65 Normal
66-85 Good
86-95 Very Good
96-00 Excellent
Thus, our hero Rath (Intelligence: 15, Wisdom: 8) has three non-weapon skill slots allocated to distilling
because he hopes to be a master illegal distiller some day and retire from the life of adventuring. He decides
to whip up a batch of whiskey. After completing the distilling process, it is time to sample the quality of Rath
Daniels Whiskey. He rolls a mere 13 on the percentile dice, which would normally produce a poor (13+6=19)
quality brew. However, due to Rath's experience, Intelligence (3*15=45), and Wisdom (8); he gains a
modifier of 53. Therefore, the quality of Rath's whiskey is good (72).
EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT

DISTILLERIES
*** IMPORTANT NOTE ***
It is a federal felony to actually use this information to build your own still and produce alcohol. The
information presented here is simply for informative, educational and game-use only. In no way is this
document meant to persuade people to actually produce illegal alcohol. It is ill advised to do so, but if you
must there are legal ways to do so. It is possible, in special cases, to get a permit to build an experimental still,
work on solar power, or power an alcohol gassed automobile. If you decide you want more information, look
in the library under fuel alcohol, distillery, or wine making. Have fun but please use discretion.
The following is a large excerpt from a discussion about distilleries with Jesse Duke, Master Bootlegger. Jesse
is considered one of the finest moonshiners in the land. Although he operated illegally, many law enforcers
overlooked his operations for just a sip of his elixir while others hunted him down because he was considered
the prize catch. Now retired, Jesse lives of the riches of his successful career. His love now is telling tales for
all who will listen of his many adventures. Many sages have regarded him as an expert on distillation.
Unfortunately, nobody can get Jesse to put his knowledge on paper. At least we can listen to him...
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"So you want to know about a still do you? Well, I suppose I'm the expert around these parts. Your not with
the law are you? Of course, I'm in retirement now and don't distill, except for medicinal reasons.
A still is a very old, very simple concept. It has been postulated that perhaps the reason that people
actually started farming was in order to produce an excess of grain from which to produce alcohol. At any rate
beer is made simply from fermenting most any grain starch. Whiskey, hard liquor, or other distilled drinks are
made by removing water from the base material. If you distill beer you have whiskey, wine wields brandy,
potato mash wields vodka. The technology to do this is available among almost any people's that are capable
of speech it seems. All that is required is a source of heat, a cooking vessel, and some sort of cooling element.
The principle of the distillery, or still for short, is that water boils (i.e. becomes vapor) at 100 degrees Celsius
(212 Fahrenheit). Alcohol (ethyl alcohol that is) on the other hand boils at about 73 degrees Celsius (170
Fahrenheit). If a liquid contains both water and alcohol and is heated to a temperature somewhere between
these boiling points then it is possible to drive off the alcohol and leave the water behind. Now all that is left
to do is capture these intoxicating vapors to increase the percentage of joy in the drink.
How is this done? The absolute simplest way is to place a freshly fermented, malted drink (beer in the raw)
into a container and heat it. Seal the container except for a single tube/pipe/etc. leading away and into a tub of
water. At the other end, allow the tube to empty into a cup or jug that has been set in a bed of ice. This is not
the safest, or easiest still to run, it is the simplest. Constant care must be taken of the temperature, as there are
no safe guards against overheating the beer (thus boiling off a good bit of water too) or an explosion. This can
be caused by the careless who don't clean the equipment properly. A build up in the tubing can cause the pot
to build up steam, and the you can say "Good night!"
The basic workings of the still are as follows. The pot is the containment vessel for the crude fermented
beverage. A heat source is applied to the bottom of this to drive vapor out of the top vent pipe. This then leads
more or less directly to the worm. The worm is a coil of tubing which acts to cool the vapor back into a liquid,
which will hopefully be noticeably more intoxicating than the original material. A pressure gauge and/or
valve can be added to the pot as a safety measure. A thermometer/rheostat can also be added to the pot to
more closely control the temperature for optimum performance. However as hundreds of years of backwoods
moonshining can attest, there is no need for such extravagances to produce good quality liquor. The worm can
be made from almost anything. At one point car radiators were popular, however due to their less than clean
nature, this is HIGHLY unrecommendable. The lead used in soldiering at the manufacturer can also easily
react with alcohol to produce lead nitrates and other nasties that can permanently relieve you of the necessity
of sight. More common, and safer is a quarter inch diameter copper tube, wound into a coil, and submersed in
a barrel or bathtub of cold, slowly running water. A heat source should be diffuse if possible, a common trick
was to place the pot on a piece of slate, then use a wood fire to heat the slate. This produced an even, slow
heat that tended to prevent scorching of the grain sediment and eventually leaving a burnt taste to the end
product.
Improvements are constantly being made to this basic design. One of the most revolutionary, and
important additions is that of the thumper keg. When this is added to a still, it halves the distilling time and
doubles the final proof of the beverage. The thumper keg is nothing more than a second pot which is not
directly heated. Hot vapors from the real pot are piped over into the bottom of the thumper keg. The vapors
then percolate through the thumper keg's hold of new crude alcohol. As it cools the vapor, water is drawn
from the vapor. As the thumper keg's liquid warms, more alcohol is vaporized. Thus, when the vapors finally
leave the top of the thumper keg, they have essentially been processed twice. Before the advent of the
thumper keg, the crude mash would first be run for "singlings". These singlings would be run through the still
a second time to produce the final whiskey. Now it was possible to produce a high quality, high alcohol
content liquor on the very first run.
An additional attachment was invented long before the thumper keg, but is attached after it in the normal
sequence of the still. This is the dry box. Simply said, it is a air-sealed box that takes the vapors from the
thumper keg (or the pot, if a thumper keg is not used) and sends the vapors out the other side. In the mean
time, the vapors have cooled slightly and water has condensed on the inside of the box. (Please note that this
box is empty, thus "dry", except for the vapors passing through it.) The box is so angled that any water
condensing inside runs through a pipe back to the thumper keg or pot. There should be three pipes attached to
this dry box. One leads out of the box towards the worm, one leads out of the box into the thumper keg, and
one from the thumper keg to the dry box. The reason there are two pipes between the dry box and thumper
keg is to prevent a back log of liquid and a build up of pressure in the dry box. The pipe meant for the return
of water to the thumper keg should be visibly lower to gravity than the pipe meant primarily for transportation
of steam/alcohol vapor. Water from the dry box can be alternatively bled out onto the ground, or into a nearby
stream, but it may still contain some alcohol, and for this reason it is often simply cycled back into the still.
The worm is probably the most important piece of the still, as far as final quality goes. All the careful care
in the world can be put into making sure that the pot doesn't get too hot, the still can be clean as a whistle
every time you run it, and if the worm is nothing more than gunky, disgusting, rusty piece of metal, your
liquor will suck. Besides, that's not how they did it in the good old days, right? They used wooden kegs for the
pot and thumper keg, and chances are that they used a can in place of a coil. A can is a sort of sleeve that has
an input opening in one side for the vapor, and an output port for the leaving liquor. Basically it looked like a
very thick walled can without the top or bottom. This allowed the cooling water to flow over a lot of surface
area. It isn't easy to make something like this. It would involve a good bit of soldering with plumbers solder
(i.e. no lead) and two large, closely matched cans. Perhaps a better way is to use copper tubing, coiled and
15
submerged in a contained of water. (The can has to be submerged in cold water too by the way.) This coil of
copper tubing is what is most commonly referred to as the worm.
That is the basics of the hardware. There are other nifty little adaptations that can be added but each
requires a bit more technology than the last, so we'll keep it simple. Next is needed the knowledge of how to
actually take field corn and produce drinkable white lightening from it. The true artists will insist that it be
done with grain, and grain alone, while the pragmatist will say that adding sugar really doesn't affect taste that
much and greatly increases the yield. You can decide for yourself whether sugar should be used or not. First
you need starter stock. Take 10% of whatever amount of corn your going to work with and place it in a warm
damp spot for about a week. Perhaps you will keep it in jars behind the stoves (don't allow the seeds to
become submerged, they can drown believe it or not) in a burlap sack buried in a manure pile (please, please
wash them VERY well) or whatever. After they have sprouted with 3-4 inch growths (and preferably before
the leaves break free of their casings) grind them up. For small batches a sharp knife and cutting may work.
Larger batches may require a meat grinder or something. This will act as an enzyme to start breaking starch
down into sugar. Next thing that needs done (and should be down simultaneously with making the starter) is
to grind up the other 90% of your corn. You might try buying ready round corn meal, maybe use that meat
grinder again, perhaps soak the corn in water then try to grind them up. Whatever works for you. Then mix
the ground corn with water to make a mix that won't quite hold a spoon straight up. About a gallon of mashed
corn to three gallons of water, or less if you have already soaked the corn in water prior to grinding.
Now heat this grain/water till it is almost boiling, keep it simmering for 10 to 30 minutes. Then let it
slowly cool, when you can comfortably put a finger in it, mix in the starter. Stir this around for another 20 to
30 minutes. Keep it warm during this time. If you desire (and it is a good idea to do this) yeast can be added at
this point. Best thing to do is get brewer's yeast at a store that sells supplies for making wine, and then
culturing the yeast in sugar water as per instructions with the package (if any). Otherwise you can use regular
baker's yeast, or not use any, and trust wild yeast to do the work (keep your fingers crossed here). Watch the
mix carefully, as without sensitive equipment it is hard to tell when the yeast have stopped working. The yeast
will form a foam or crust as they work. As they finish, the foam will break up and disappear. The proper time
to run it through the still is when the foam is pretty well gone, but not totally, there should be a film of it left
with some holes poking through. Wait to long and you will have wood alcohol rather than grain, it is not
possible, no matter who tells you different to return wood alcohol back to grain alcohol. I cannot possibly
emphasize enough the number of injuries and fatalities occurring from attempts to "purify" wood alcohol. Run
it too early and you won't get a good yield of anything but corn starch and water. It is better to run it too early,
trust me.
The next major thing to know is how to know when to stop collecting the distillate. One easy way is to
collect a small amount of the end product, splash it on the pot, and light it with a match or lighter. It should
burst into blue flame. If it doesn't, there is too much water in it. Either turn down the heat on the pot if you are
just starting, or stop collecting if its been going a while. By this time you have as much of the alcohol as you'll
be able to get. Another, better way, is too watch the distillate as it pours out of the worm. It will sputter at
first, slowly develop into a ready stream (hopefully), then at a certain point it will sputter a bit again, and then
the twist to the stream will change very slightly as the content changes from mostly grain alcohol to mostly
water. These are very hard changes to catch, and it takes practice to learn. It is however the most accurate
means by which to gauge the distillate without high tech equipment.
That is about all there is to it. There are many, many other details that have been discovered in the many
years of distilling, but these are the basics needed to build a simple still. Now, don't go off half-cocked kid.
Distilling is illegal in this country without an official permit from the High Court. And of course, permits are
only issued to the rich merchants that can put some gold pieces in important people's pockets. But of course,
you young adventuring types try everything at least once, more until you get a sword in your face."
-- Jesse Duke
Master Bootlegger
WHEN THE STILL EXPLODES
When a non-proficient character distills, a GM should decide if a still explodes or not mainly based on
campaign use (i.e. plot use, serves a purpose to an adventure, etc.). If the GM wants to leave it up to chance, a
still will explode on a roll of 15-20 on a 1d20. A proficient character will have an exploding still on a roll of
20 on a 1d20.
An exploding still does a lot of damage to creatures and things that are near it. Most of the damage comes
from the force of the blast and from the intense heat of the steam. A smaller amount comes from the shrapnel
created by the still itself flying apart.
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Once a still explodes, a creature in the area of effect (see Table A, Distance) suffers damage if not
sufficiently protected. Only half the damage is received if a save vs. breath weapon is successful.
TABLE A: Heat Damage
Distance Damage
00' - 01'11" 4d10+10
02' - 05'11" 3d10+10
06' - 11'11" 2d10+10
12' - 16' 1d10+10
The heat damage is not the only danger. Anyone in the vicinity could easily take shrapnel damage from the
pieces of the still flying about. Typically, stills are of wood or metal. A wooden still tends to produce more
shrapnel. A metal still tends to split rather than truly shatter.
Once a still explodes, a creature in the area of effect (see Table B, Distance) suffers shrapnel damage if not
sufficiently protected. Only half the damage is received if a save vs. breath weapon is successful.
TABLE B: Shrapnel Damage
Distance Wood Damage Metal Damage

00' - 01'11" 4d4+5 4d4+1
02' - 05'11" 3d4+5 3d4+1
06' - 11'11" 2d4+5 2d4+1
12' - 16' 1d4+5 1d4+1
The GM should note that the information provided here is for a still with a pot of 40-80 gallon capacity. This
would make about 1-2 gallons or 5-10 bottles of liquor in a run with a maximum of about 8-10 runs in a day.
Of course, fermenting time must be taken into consideration. Generally, fermenting time is a week or more
depending on fermenting material, starting yeast, starter mash, temperature, and other factors.
For different sizes of stills, the GM should adjust the damage and make the area of effect larger.
EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL
"Drink hardy me 'lads for tomorrow we die!"
--- Anonymous
In wine's intoxication lays the truth!
--- Anon
After consuming a serving of alcohol, a character must make a constitution check with the following
penalties:
· Beer -1
· Ale -2
· Wine -3
· Mead -4
· Liquor -5
The penalties accumulate with each check per state of intoxication. For example, after Rath drinks his third
ale he must make his constitution check with a -6 penalty. If Rath moves into a state of slight intoxication (see
below) due to a failed constitution check, his ale penalty is reset back to -2. Of course, the penalty will
continue to get worse as he drinks in this state and reset to -2 when he goes into a moderate state of
intoxication.
NOTE: Serving sizes vary depending on type. For example, a typical serving size of liquor is around 2 fluid
ounces. Beer, ale, and mead have a serving size around 16 to 20 fluid ounces. While a serving size for wine is
around 10 to 14 ounces. The serving size is decided by the GM.
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If a character fails his/her constitution check, his/her state of intoxication moves up. There are three states:
slight, moderate, great. The state an intoxicated person is in will have the following effects:
Intoxication Table:
Effect State of Intoxication

on Slight Moderate Great
Morale +1 +2 +3
Intelligence -1 -3 -6
Wisdom -1 -4 -7
Dexterity 0 -2 -5
Charisma 0 -1 -4
Attack Dice 0 -1 5
Hit Points 0 +1 3
% of Spell Failure 25 50 100
NOTES ON INTOXICATION TABLE
· Morale pertains only to non-player characters.
· Intelligence, Wisdom, Dexterity, and Charisma indicate the number of points the various characteristics
are lowered temporarily due to intoxication. Remember to check the rule book to see the effects of
attribute lose.
· Attack dice refers to adjustments to THAC0 and saves. An opponents saves vs. magical attacks made by
an intoxicated character is raised by the same number.
· Hit points are increased due to the effects of the alcohol on the intoxicate person. He/she can physically
withstand more punishment. OPTIONAL RULE: Make the hit point adjustments +10% and +30%, rather
than +1 and +3.
· % of Spell Failure refers to the chance that a spell that is cast will fail. A mage or cleric has difficulty with
somatic and verbal components due to his/her inebriation. When in a great state of intoxication, the
mage/cleric has complete memory loss of the spell and must relearn the spell upon recuperation.
· Being in a state of great intoxication is dangerous. When a character is in this state, he/she no longer
continues to make a constitution check. Instead he/she must make a save vs. poison. A cumulative penalty
of -1 goes into effect as the character continues to drink. If a character fails his/her save, he/she passes out.
With each save a character has a cumulative 5% of permanently lowering his/her constitution by 1 point.
Example
For example, Rath has just missed his constitution check from his last glass of ale and is now in a state of
great intoxication. He orders another glass and drinks it. He makes his save vs. poison and has a 5% chance of
lowering his constitution, which doesn't happen. He orders another glass and gulps it down. He makes his save
vs. poison and now has a 10% chance of lowering his constitution, which doesn't happen. He orders yet
another glass and gulps it down. This time he misses his save and passes out. Now he has 15% chance of
lowering his constitution, which unfortunately happens. Rath is now passed out and has a permanent
deduction of 1 from his constitution. Another victim of drunkenness.
Optional Wisdom Rule
As a person continues to drink, he/she tends to consume more and more alcohol without really noticing it.
Thus, the consumer must begin making a Wisdom check after each drink once he/she reaches a state of slight
intoxication. A successful check allows the consumer to quit drinking if he/she desires. A failed check
indicates that a person will attempt to have another drink if possible (i.e. has money, alcohol is available,
etc.).
A friendly, non-hostile person around the drinker who wants to prevent him/her from continuing to drink
can attempt to by making a successful Charisma check. Success indicates that the person talked the drinker
into stopping. However, a failed check makes the drinker angry and no further attempts can be made by the
less that charismatic person.
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Optional Weight Rule
A person that weighs more tends to handle alcohol better than one who weighs less. Since most creatures'
weights aren't known, the best indication of weight would be size. Thus, the penalties/bonuses are relative to
size. The following penalties/bonuses can be assigned to the constitution check that is made after consuming a
serving of alcohol:
Tiny -4
Small -2
Man 0
Large +2
Huge +4
Gargantuan +6
Optional Drunk Disposition Rule
Once a person enters a state of great intoxication, his/her disposition has a tendency to change. The GM has a
few options in how to handle this. Option one, the player chooses from the table which disposition he/she
wishes the character to have. Option two, the player rolls once on the table for the character and makes this
the disposition the character will always have when drunk. Option three, the player rolls on the table each
time the character is drunk.
The effects to disposition are optional. Some GMs may not wish to use the effects because it may cause
game imbalance.
TABLE: Disposition
Roll Disposition Effect

1 animated, excited, alert +1d4 to save vs. passing out
2 sleepy, "Zzzzzz" -1d4 to save vs. passing out
3 show-off, foolhardy, challenging +1d4 morale
4 melancholy, annoying -1d4 morale
5 chatty, know-it-all +1d4 intelligence
6 quiet, content, stupefied -1d4 intelligence
7 happy, everything seems good +1d4 wisdom
8 mean, cranky, annoyed -1d4 wisdom
9 humorous, amusing, comical +1d4 charisma
10 egotistical, cocky, bragging -1d4 charisma
11 clumsy, clutz, "Oops" -1d4 dexterity
12 horny, aroused see boo-hag effect
Optional Boo-Hag Effect
The effect of being drunk (i.e. in a state of great intoxication) makes the character more susceptible to
seduction. This effect is better known as the "boo-hag" effect. In other words, the appearance and charisma of
a person of the opposite sex no longer matters. This is represented by a-1d4+1 to any seduction rolls made by
the character when a person is trying to seduce him/her. Note that the character is also 50% more likely to
attempt seduction of other people.
Optional/Alternative Intelligence Loss Rule
A GM may opt to make a character lose a point of intelligence rather than constitution when a save vs. poison
is failed. A more vindictive GM may opt to make the character lose the constitution point and then make
him/her roll another constitution check. Failure indicates that the character loses a point of intelligence. The
main reason for this is because prolonged use of alcohol kills brain cells.
Alternative Percentage Loss
Some feel that the percent chance of losing a point of intelligence or constitution is to drastic. A night of hard
drinking shouldn't do a person in. Rather, extended periods of serious boozing should do such severe damage
to the character. Therefore, when a character is in a state of great intoxication, he/she no longer continues to
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make a constitution check. Instead he/she must make a save vs. poison. A cumulative penalty of -1 goes into
effect as the character continues to drink. If a character fails his/her save, he/she passes out. With each save a
character has a cumulative .1% of permanently lowering his/her constitution by 1 point. This cumulative
percent is cumulative throughout the character's life.
Alternative Alcohol Penalties
Some campaigns may consider the penalties for the various alcoholic drinks to be incorrect. An alternative is
provided for those who wish it. Thus, after consuming a serving of alcohol, a character must make a
constitution check with the following penalties:
Beer -1
Ale -2
Liquor -2
Wine -3
Mead -3
Alcohol And Races
People have suggested that certain races like dwarves and elves should have bonuses or penalties when
drinking alcohol because they would naturally have more or less of a tolerance. Well, technically this could be
and is true. in most RPGs, dwarves receive a bonus to constitution and elves receive a penalty to constitution.
Furthermore, demihumans like dwarves have bonuses to poison saves and poison saves play an important role
in these rules. Therefore, since alcohol checks are based on constitution and adjustments to constitution are
made during character creation and certain races get bonuses to poison saves, there is no need for any
additional adjustments. However, GMs may still give bonuses and penalties to races if he/she wishes.
Paladins
Nice GMs may allow a paladin to have +1 bonus to constitution when consuming alcohol because they have a
great immunity to such "evil" like alcohol. On the other hand, the GM may induce a -1 penalty to constitution
because such poisonous toxins like alcohol are dangerous to the purity of a paladin.
RECOVERY FROM INTOXICATION
Wine, a turn-coat; first a friend, and then an enemy.
--- Thomas Fuller
Wine prepares the heart for love, Unless you take too much.
--- Ovid
Time is the only cure for intoxication, although certain stimulants might shorten the recovery time. Note that
a person may only be affected by stimulants once.
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Recovery From Intoxication:
Intoxication Recovery Stimulant Multiplier

Level Time Mild Med Strong
Slight 1-4 hours x .80 x .65 x .50
Moderate 4-8 hours x .85 x .70 x.55
Great 8-14 hours x .90 x .75 x .55
Comatose 14-20 hours x .95 x .80 x .60
As a person recovers, his/her statistics that are affected begin to go back to normal. For example, a comatose
person's recovery time is 19 hours and his/her stats are based on this. Five hours later, he/she moves into a
state of great intoxication and his/her stats are relative to this state, and so on.
Having A Hangover
Although the victim's statistics will slowly return to normal, he will suffer unpleasant after-effects that are
known in the drunks' world as a hangover. After a person finally gets down to a state of slight intoxication,
he/she rolls on Table 1 (1d100) and receives a hangover effect.
TABLE 1: Hangover Effects Table
Die
Roll Effect
01 blinding headache, vomiting, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
02 blinding headache, vomiting, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
07 blinding headache, the squats, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
08 blinding headache, the squats, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
13 blinding headache, nausea, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
14 blinding headache, nausea, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
19 blinding headache, the squats, trembling
20 blinding headache, vomiting, trembling
21 blinding headache, nausea, trembling
22 blinding headache, the squats
23 blinding headache, vomiting
24 blinding headache, nausea
25 blinding headache, trembling
Die
Roll Effect (continue)
26 blinding headache
27 headache, vomiting, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
28 headache, vomiting, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
33 headache, the squats, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
34 headache, the squats, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
39 headache, nausea, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
40 headache, nausea, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
21
45 headache, the squats, trembling
46 headache, vomiting, trembling
47 headache, nausea, trembling
48 headache, the squats
49 headache, vomiting
50 headache, trembling
51 headache, nausea
52 headache
53 vomiting, trembling
54 nausea, trembling
55 the squats, trembling
56 vomiting
57 nausea
58 the squats
59 trembling
60 vomiting, the squats, trembling
61 vomiting, the squats
62 nausea, the squats, trembling
63 nausea, the squats
64 -4 to DEX and CON for 1d10 hrs
65 -4 to WIS and INT for 1d10 hrs
66 trembling, loss of appetite for 2d6 hrs
67 loss of appetite for 5d4 hrs
68 disgusting taste in mouth for 24 hrs
69 cheerful energy
70 GM SHOULD COME UP WITH A DASTARDLY EFFECT
71 NO BAD EFFECTS (This time!)
72-00 REROLL
NOTES ON HANGOVER TABLE
· Blinding Headache: For 1d4+1 hours. -4 to hit, -3 to armor class, +25% chance of spell failure for mages
and clerics, -25% to all thieves skills.
· Headache: For 1d4+1 hours. -2 to hit, -1 to armor class, +10% chance of spell failure for mages and
clerics, -10% to all thieves skills.
· Vomiting: Roll percentile dice (01-50: 1d12 hours, 51-00: 1d6 hours). Constitution check every turn.
Failure means PC vomits which takes 1d4+1 rounds. Strenuous activity (includes combat and spellcasting)
will also require a constitution check to avoid being ill.
· Nausea: Roll percentile dice (01-50: 1d12 hours, 51-00: 1d6 hours). The PC feels like vomiting. The PC
has difficulty concentrating and therefore has a +05% chance of spell failure for every hour of nausea.
Furthermore, he/she suffers a -1 to dexterity and strength for the duration of nausea.
· "The Squats": Roll percentile dice (01-50: 1d20 hours, 51-00: 1d10 hours). Constitution check at -2 every
turn. Failure means PC will defecate within 1d4 rounds. The PC must find a suitable place and remove
armor, clothing, etc. within that time or soil themselves (YECH!).
· Trembling: For 1d4-1 hours. -1 to hit, -2 to dexterity.
· Loss Of Appetite: Character will not eat. Also, character has dry mouth thus being very thirsty.
Example
For example, our hero Rath has found himself in a state of great intoxication partying until four in the
morning in his favorite establishment, The Golden Griffon Inn. Unfortunately, he is suppose to go adventuring
at sunrise (6:00 AM), so he takes a strong stimulant in hopes to recovery. Recovery time was 14 hours for
Rath, but now it is 7.70 hours (14 x .55), and his stats go from the great intoxication state to the moderate
intoxication state. Well, Rath can't even move out of bed until 1:00 PM. But since he got little sleep and feels
22
quite sick, Rath sleeps until 5:00 PM. When he awakens, he finds that he has a headache (which will last 3
hours). Also, he starts vomiting (which will last until at least 10:00 PM). He will suffer -2 to dexterity and
constitution for the next 4 hours. And to top it off, Rath finds out that his adventuring party has left town
without him and he is left with nothing to do but go party again tonight.
STIMULANTS FOR RECOVERING FROM INTOXICATION
Mild
Cure Light Wounds - 1st level clerical spell

Slow Poison - 2nd level clerical spell
Potion of Healing
Scroll of Protection from Poison
Healing Skill
Herbalism Skill
· Medium
Cure Disease - 3rd level clerical spell
Cure Serious Wounds - 4th level clerical spell
Potion of Sweet Water
Periapt of Proof Against Poison
· Strong
Neutralize Poison - 4th level clerical spell
Cure Critical Wounds - 5th level clerical spell
Potion of Extra-Healing
Potion of Vitality
· Special
Heal - 6th level clerical spell
Restoration - 7th level clerical spell
Regenerate - 7th level clerical spell
Elixir of Health
Notes
1. Special stimulants cure the intoxicated character, no recovery time is required.
2. Multiple spells or potions (use the rule of mixing potions) applied on intoxicated characters lower the
stimulant multiplier by 5% per dose (spell).
3. If more than one type of stimulant is used, the strongest one is considered.
4. Healing and herbalism skills can be used once a day, but if both are used in the same character then treat as
medium stimulant.
A MORE SINISTER SIDE OF DRINKING: ALCOHOL

ADDICTION
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Wine has drowned more men than the sea.
--- Anon
Nothing is better to fight alcoholism than a moderate use of wine.
--- Jean Louis Faure
The nervous system in the body has an inhibitory effect when the body is in a state of extreme emotion. It's
part of the human body's ability to stay in a normal state: "homeostasis". This is what makes cliff-divers like
cliff diving: the nervous system inhibits the abnormal state of fear, essentially by simulating the reaction
opposite to fear: ecstasy. A classical example of this is a slightly depressed person who takes stimulant drugs.
His nervous system increases his depression to counteract the abnormal stimulation, so that he needs to take
stimulants even to feel how people normally feel. Now, when he's off drugs, he will be very depressed.
This explains some withdrawal symptoms. Under the effect of any strong drug (e.g. alcohol), the nervous
system naturally tries to counter that effect. When the drug wears off, the "downer" that is experienced occurs
because the nervous system is still producing that opposite emotion. If a human uses drugs too much, then
his/her nervous system gets into the habit of countering that drug's effect, so he/she starts to need to take the
drug all the time to avoid the awful downers. Eventually, drug addicts need more and more of their drug of
choice in order to have the effect they had the first time they tried it.
A person may enjoy having a drink of alcohol, but he/she may unfortunately become a victim of it. To
represent the progression and regression of alcohol addiction; two levels, amount level and drinking level are
used.
Each time a person drinks and goes into a state of intoxication (slight, moderate, great), he/she must make
a save vs. poison (with modifiers; see below) or go up one amount level (Table 1).
Each time a person reaches a state of great intoxication he/she must make a save vs. poison (with
modifiers; see below) or go up one drinking level (Table 2).
To make drinking even more dangerous, the GM can make a character that has an 8 for an amount level
and/or a 5 for drinking level roll on the Hangover Table. The effects rolled will last until the levels are
lowered.
Table 1: Amount Level
Level Effect
0 never drinks
1 needs to drink one time every week
2 needs to drink two times every week
3 needs to drink three times every week
4 needs to drink four times every week
5 needs to drink five times every week
6 needs to drink six times every week
7 needs to drink seven times every week
8 needs to drink eight times every week
Table 2: Drinking Level
Level Effect
0 never drinks
1 will always take at least one drink
2 will drink until at least slightly intoxicated
3 will drink until at least moderately intoxicated
4 will drink until greatly intoxicated
5 will drink until passed out
Humans, elves, gnomes, and half-elves gain their normal bonus to poison save due to Constitution. Dwarves
and halflings use the same bonuses that they get against magical attacks due to their race.
Additional modifiers to the poison save for all races are based on Wisdom (Table 3). Also, the GM may
wish to add modifiers based on circumstances and situations, some examples are given in Table 4.
Table 3: Wisdom Modifier
A. Score Modifier
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01-03 +4
04-06 +2
07-12 0
13-15 -2
16-18 -4
Table 4: GM Modifiers
Mod. Circumstance
+8 friend, family member, or comrade died
+5 lost beloved item (e.g. family heirloom, magical item)
+3 gambling debts, considerable misfortune
+1 unlucky times
A person can reduce his/her or her addiction in a number of ways. A Neutralize Poison spell will rid the need
to drink, thus the amount level becomes 0. For every week a person is restrained from drinking (i.e. clinic,
forceful friends, etc.), both the amount level and drinking level are reduced by 1. Some GMs may allow the
character to make a Wisdom check once a week. Success indicates that the character has enough willpower to
lower his/her amount level and drink level by 1.
ALCOHOLIC DISEASES
This system does not attempt a specific treatment of a subject which is beyond its scope and purpose. What is
done, however, is to give general categories of disease and maladies and their game effects. In some cases, the
disease can't convert into game effects, so role- playing must substitute.
There are many ways a GM may go about giving a character a disease:
· When a character's Amount Level is 8 and Drinking Level is 5, he must make a save vs. poison or contract
a disease.
· When a character's Amount Level is 8 or Drinking Level is 5, he must make a save vs. poison or contract a
disease.
· When a character becomes comatose due to alcohol use, he must save vs. poison or contract a disease.
TABLE A: Diseases (1d12)
Roll Disease
1 Acne Rosacea
2 Alcohol Amblyopia
3 Alcoholic Hepatitis
4 Alcoholic Myopathy
5 Alcoholic Polyneuropathy
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6 Central Pontine Myelinolysis
7 Cirrhosis
8 Delirium Tremens
9 Marchiafava-Bignami Disease
10 Rhinophyma
11 Korsakoff's Psychosis
12 Wernicke's Encephalopathy
Acne Rosacea - A facial skin condition usually characterized by a flushed appearance and often accompanied
by puffiness and a "spider- web" effect of broken capillaries.
Alcohol Amblyopia - A rare disorder of the eye, alcohol ambloyopia is typically due to long-term alcohol
use. The disease begins slowly with a slight vision impairment (-1 penalty to THAC0) that becomes
progressively worse (additional -1 per week until -4 is reached). The typical complaint is a painless blurring of
vision over a period of several weeks (2d4) with reduced sharpness for both near and distant objects.
Generally, changes are symmetrical in both eyes and, if not treated adequately, may be followed by optic
nerve degeneration. Treatment consists of vitamins and minerals or cure disease magics.
Alcoholic Hepatitis - A disease of the liver characterized by inflammation and necrosis, alcoholic hepatitis is
accompanied by jaundice (which causes the character's skin to turn a reddish-yellow color), fever, and
abnormal accumulation of fluid in the abdominal cavity.
Alcoholic hyaline, a clear glassy substance, is often found in livers of patients with alcoholic hepatitis.
Alcoholic Myopathy - Alcoholic Myopathy is an alcoholic muscle disease. A character with this disease
suffers from severe muscle cramps that vary in frequency or by muscle pain and swelling. This results in a
lose of 1d4 to Strength and movement is two-thirds normal.
Alcoholic Polyneuropathy - A disease of the nervous system. It develops slowly over months and years
affecting first and most severely the lower legs, where numbness and pain may develop. Other problems are
muscle wasting (-1d4 to Strength), tenderness of the calves of the legs, and signs of impaired motor function
(-1d4 to Dexterity).
Central Pontine Myelinolysis - A rare disease of unknown origin that occurs in a group of brain nerve fibers
known as the pons. The principal symptoms are a progressive weakness in the muscles extending from the
lowest part of the brain to the spinal cord (a successful called shot to the back causes triple damage), an
inability to swallow, and the absence of the gag reflex. After 2d4 weeks, the character becomes drowsy
(unable to adventure). After another 1d4 weeks, the character becomes comatose.
Cirrhosis - From an ancient word kirrhos orange-colored - the color of a cirrhosis liver. Cirrhosis is a chronic
inflammatory disease of the liver in which functioning liver cells are replaced by scar tissue. The main cause
of cirrhosis is long-term alcohol use.
The onset of cirrhosis is associated with such nonspecific complaints as weakness and fatigue. As the
disease progresses, some of the associated effects may include:
· Jaundice which causes the character's skin to turn a reddish-yellow color.
· Swelling of the character's legs. Uncontrolled bleeding due to a decrease in clotting factors in the blood. If
the character receives an open wound that cause bleeding, he/she will loses -1 hit points per round for
3d4 rounds.
· Increased sensitivity to drugs which results in a -1 modifier to any Constitution checks made for drug or
alcohol use.
Delirium Tremens - The D.T.'s. One of the most dramatic and serious conditions associated with alcoholism,
delirium tremens' symptoms include:
· Vivid and frequently terrifying auditory, visual, and tactical hallucinations (25% per day of having one).
· Profound confusion (-1d4 to intelligence).
· Disorientation.
· Severe agitation.
· Restlessness and insomnia which can be bad for mages.
· Fever.
· Abnormally rapid heartbeat.
Marchiafava-Bignami Disease - The disease causes agitation, confusion (-1d4 to intelligence), hallucinations
(25% per day of having one), memory disturbances, and disorientation.
Rhinophyma - A skin condition of the nose characterized by swelling, redness and, often, broken capillaries.
Rhinophyma is considered by religious organizations as their deity's punishment to drunks.
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Korsakoff's Psychosis - Korsakoff's psychosis is primarily a mental disorder characterized by confusion,
memory failure and a tendency to recite imaginary occurrences. Other symptoms include disorientation in
time, emotional apathy and loss of insight, which prevents the character from becoming aware of the
disability. Characters are often moderately cheerful and non-comprehending.
Wernicke's Encephalopathy - This disease is characterized by an acute confusion state (-1d4 to

Intelligence), loss of balance (-1d4 to Dexterity, disorders of the eye nerves (extreme blinking), and high risk
of heart failure (10% chance of death to do heart failure).
There is a cumulative +3% per day of Wernicke's encephalopathy developing into Korsakoff's psychosis.
CRAZY DRUNK: A LOOK AT DIPSOMANIA
When the wine is in the wit is out.
--- Thomas Becon
Presented here are two ways a GM can introduce Dipsomania into a campaign. The first is an insanity which
can be introduced via mind- affecting magic or psionic powers. The second is a disease which can be
introduced via a spell or normal disease transmitting ways.
Dipsomania Insanity
This mild insanity form manifests itself periodically. About once per week, or whenever near large quantities
of alcoholic beverages, the afflicted will begin drinking excessive quantities of ale, beer, wine, or like
spirituous liquors. Such drinking will continue until the character passes out. It is 50% likely that the
dipsomania will continue when he/she awakens if anywhere near alcohol, 10% likely otherwise (in which case
the individual will seek to find drink and become violent if denied).
Dipsomaniac Virus
Technically, this is not a monster, but rather a disease composed of tiny organisms that require alcohol to
maintain their bodily functions. They will most likely be encountered by Player Characters in infested sources
of alcohol (seedy bars suddenly lose character). If this alcohol is drunk, then the character is infected with the
virus.
As with many diseases, these microorganisms enter the body and feed and reproduce there. However,
unlike most diseases, these require a high level of alcohol in the blood to survive. It is unlikely that most
characters will be quite as obliging in this regard as the disease requires. So, the virus improvises; it begins to
take over cells and converts them into producers of alcohol, fermenting blood sugar in order to keep the
blood-alcohol level high.
This has two negative effects upon the character: raising his appetite by depleting his blood sugar level,
and keeping him perpetually intoxicated, whether he drinks or no. A simple cure disease spell will end the
condition; however, it is likely that no one will suspect that a mere disease is the problem in the first place!
FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME
Wine is the most healthful and hygienic of all beverages.
--- Louis Pasteur
The blood of the vineyard shall mingle with mine.
--- Oliver W. Holmes

27
His eyes shall be red with wine, and his teeth white with milk.
--- Genesis 49:12
In water one sees one's own face,

but in wine beholds the heart of another.
--- Anon
Alcohol has a very bad effect on the developing brain of the fetus. In some areas, the brain may never totally
mature. In addition to reduced learning capabilities, a person has little or no sense of "right or wrong". He/she
has little sense of time, so that a potential long jail term means little to him/her, and he/she doesn't see the
benefits of saving money today to spend next year, or to study today for a test next week. These symptoms
can range anywhere from almost unnoticeable to very pronounced, and facial disfigurement (small, misshapen
eyes and a flatter nasal area) can even occur.
Some Fetal Alcohol Syndrome victims are somewhat socially inept. Not in a "nerdy" manner, but they
seem to be unable to have healthy friendships. They are attracted to dangerous elements, such as the other
troublemakers (unable to separate right from wrong, etc). They can't seem to resist peer pressure, and if
pressured, will drink, steal, etc.. Their work ethic is bad, unable to see the future as imminent. The awful thing
is, it's not their fault!
Therefore, if a woman drinks at ANY time during pregnancy (even if she doesn't know she's pregnant) and
if she consumes even a small amount of alcohol, there is a risk of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The more often
she drinks, the greater the risk and the greater the possible effects. The player should roll 1d100 when the
baby is born, with a cumulative possibility of having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome of +5% for every time the
mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy. If the result is Fetal Alcohol
Syndrome, then the GM has two options in deciding on the results:
1: The player rolls 1d100 with a cumulative +5% for every time the mother
had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy.
Then consult Table 1.
2: The player rolls 1d12 with a cumulative +1 for every time the mother had
two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy. Then
consult Table 2. Note that the character has all of the symptoms up to and
including his/her die roll. That is, if the player rolls a 6 then the
character has results 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
Table 1: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results
Die
Roll Effect
01-03 Intelligence is 4d4.
13-15 Wisdom is 4d4.
25-27 Strength is 4d4.
37-39 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 4d4.
40-42 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 3d4.
43-45 Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 2d4.
46-48 Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 1d4.
49-51 Weak. Constitution is 4d4.
52-54 Weak. Constitution is 3d4.
55-57 Very Weak. Constitution is 2d4.
58-60 Very Weak. Constitution is 1d4.
61-63 Learns at 1/4 speed.
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70-72 Cannot have a lawful alignment.
73-75 Must have a chaotic alignment.
76-78 Must have a neutral alignment.
79-81 Unable to save money, destitute. Always gets rid of money.
82-84 Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things.
85-87 Never able to cast spells.
88-90 2d20+8 % magic resistance. Roll ignoring any result above 87.
91-93 Two problems. Roll twice ignoring any result above 87.
94-96 Three problems. Roll thrice ignoring any result above 87.
97-99 Four problems. Roll four times ignoring any result above 87.
00-00 Five problems. Roll five times ignoring any result above 87.
Table 2: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results
Die
Roll Effect
1 Intelligence penalized -1d4.
2 Wisdom penalized -1d4.
3 Strength penalized -1d4.
4 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma penalized -1d4.
5 Weaker. Constitution penalized 1d4.
6 Learns at 1/4 speed.
7 Cannot have a lawful alignment.
8 Must have a chaotic alignment.
9 Must have a neutral alignment.
10 Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things.
11 Never able to cast spells.
12 2d20+8 % magic resistance.
NON-WEAPON SKILLS
Back of this wine is the Vintner,

And back through the years, his skill;
And back of it all are the vines in the sun,
And the rain and the Master's will.
--- Anon
You cannot know wine by the barrel.
--- Herbert Predentum
The varieties of the wine and the names

of its grapes are beyond number.
--- Virgil
All non-weapon skills presented here are general. Thus all classes make take a skill without any penalties. Of
course, GMs may want to limit them to a particular class.
# of Slots Relevant Check

Skill Required Ability Modifier
Bartending 2(3) Special Special
Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover 1 Intelligence -4
Drinking (Boozing) 1 Special Special
Drinking Skills/Tricks 1 Dexterity Special
Toasting 1 Intelligence -2
Wine Pouring 1 Wisdom 0
Wine Tasting 1 Wisdom 0
29
Bartending
A character with this skill has a great knowledge of mixed drinks and can make a perfect mixed drink on a
successful Wisdom check. Note that the mixed drink must be known (i.e. ingredients, preparation, etc.). The
GM may require an Intelligence to see if the character is familiar with the drink.
Wine is the drink of the rich, but a small tavern having a large supply of wine in stock isn't practical or
economical. Thus, a bartender has the skill to mix wines together to make an entirely different wine. The
bartender has the ability to mix wines to make them look and/or taste a certain way. The maximum number of
wines the bartender can mix together is two with one more wine added for every wisdom point over 12 (ex. a
bartender with a 14 wisdom can mix a maximum of 4 wines together). Whether it be a dreadful odor, an
unwholesome sticky taste, or a fantastic texture, the bartender can attain this on a successful Wisdom check. If
the bartender fails the check while trying to do this, he/she gets the exact opposite result (i.e. good tasting
wine becomes bad tasting wine).
Bartenders have the uncanny ability to raise morale. This ability is another benefit bestowed from this
skill. On a successful Charisma check, the character can raise the morale of those he/she serves by +2. GMs
should make sure characters don't abuse this ability. A character shouldn't be able to hand a beer to a soldier
in a middle of a battle in hopes to raise his morale. It is intended to be used in a tavern setting. Also, GMs
should require that the player role-plays the situation. Just stating that the character wishes to raise morale
isn't enough.
A lot of people go to taverns when depressed, and the bartender has a tendency to raise their spirits. A
bartender can bring a person out of a non-magical depression on a successful Charisma check with a positive
modifier equal to the character's level. A bartender can bring a person out of a magical depression on a
successful Charisma check with a modifier of -1 for very level under 8th.
A lot of taverns, bars, and inns have a tendency to doctor drinks to make them more potent or make them
less potent than they should be. Usually it is making drinks less potent which is the tendency, better known as
watering them down. Sometimes a bartender may wish to make drinks more potent to cause certain patrons to
get really inebriated. Why would a bartender want to make a drink more potent? Well many people, like
thieves or adventurers, would like certain people in a drunken state so their job (whatever it may be) can be
easier and a few coins to a bartender is a small price to pay to make sure a person is drunk. The key to
doctoring drinks is making the customer not notice a change. A successful Wisdom roll indicates that nobody
will notice a change in the drink. Failure indicates that a customer may notice a change. The customer must
make a successful Intelligence check to notice a change.
A more seedier skill of this skill allows him to mix other liquids together to make them taste like a wine.
The bartender must have knowledge of the wine's taste that he/she wishes to duplicate, almost to perfection,
and gets a -3 to his/her roll if he/she has the wine with him/her. On a successful Wisdom check, the character
creates a fake of the original wine. This ability can be counteracted with a successful Wine Tasting skill
check.
Another skill of this skill is the ability to make alcohol drink additives (discussed elsewhere in the guide).
A character needs to make a Intelligence check with a -3 modifier. Failure indicates that the additive is
worthless and the process must start over (i.e. get new ingredients, etc.).
Another skill of this skill is the ability to slide drinking containers down a bar or another flat surface like a
table. A character needs to make a Dexterity check. If successful, the character slides a drinking container
down the bar and can even make it spin around a 90 degree angle (only once). If the check fails, the glass
slips, spills its contents, and will probably break.
If the player devotes a third slot to this skill, the character gains the skills of the Wine Pouring and the
Wine Tasting non-weapon skills.
Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover
A person with this skill has the uncanny knack for concealing his/her unattractive alcoholic problems of
drunkenness and hangovers.
The character must make a skill check after moving into a new state of intoxication. A successful skill
check indicates that the character seems to be at the previous state of intoxication. The character still suffers
the penalties for the new state of intoxication, but it will appear at face value that he/she is at the previous
state.
For example, Rath (who is proficient in this), just went into a state of slight intoxication. His stats are
adjusted accordingly. He makes his skill check. So it seems at face value that Rath is not intoxicated, although
he is slightly intoxication. Of course, if he would need to use an ability like intelligence (intelligence attribute
check), then his -1 intelligence penalty will manifest itself.
If a character has a hangover and makes a successful skill check, he/she can suppress 1 or 2 (GM's option)
of the hangover effects.
For example, Rath has a hangover. He rolls a 13 on the hangover effects table. The effects are blinding
headache, the squats, and trembling. He suppresses "the squats" effect, but still suffers from a blinding
headache and trembling. If he only suffered from one effect like vomiting, then he wouldn't have any
hangover problems.
NOTE: All checks are made at the current intelligence (i.e. with modifiers from being intoxicated).
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Another benefit of this skill is the ability to hide the fact that the character has an alcohol addiction
problem. An intelligence check is made when a character is not drunk or hungover. If successful, the
character disguises his/her alcohol addiction from people. The character is so nonchalant that people don't
realize that he/she has a problem.
Drinking (Boozing)
A person with this skill has a great love of alcohol. He/she has the skill to consume more alcohol then most
people without suffering the ill effects as bad.
Also, the character can tell the quality of any alcoholic drink by taste. This knowledge goes deeper than
just general quality knowledge. He/she can know interesting facts about alcohol drinks if a successful
intelligence check is made. For example, he/she may know the year it was made, what race created it, its
value, specific ingredients, etc..
When consuming a serving of alcohol, the character now gets a bonus for his/her constitution checks.
Thus, the penalties for constitution checks are as followed:
Beer +5 A 20 on the constitution check

Ale +4 always fails.
Wine +3
Mead +2
Liquor +1
When the character is in a state of great intoxication, he/she doesn't receive a penalty when he/she saves vs.
poison. With each save a character has a cumulative 2% instead of 5% of permanently lowering his/her
constitution by 1 point.
Unfortunately, this skill has an evil side to it. The character's alcohol addiction can never be at 0 for
amount and drinking levels. Furthermore, the character suffers a -1 penalty to poison saves for alcohol
addiction checks.
Drinking Skills/Tricks
This skill bestows many benefits to the character although they tend to have any enlightened value.
"The Chug", "The Gulp", "The Neck" are all names for the ability to consume a single serving of alcoholic
beverage in a seconds. A skill check (cumulative -1 penalty per serving) is required when competing against
another person. If both make the check, the person with the highest score loses. If both fail the check, neither
wins because they either choke, spit up the booze, etc.. Of course, if one fails the check and the other makes
the check, then the winner is the successful one.
"Fire Breather" is the ability to spit alcohol, through a flame, and hit a target. The spitter must have a
flame source of at least candle power and the target must be within 9 feet. The spitter must make a successful
skill check with a penalty based on range between him and the target. Success indicates a hit and the target
suffers burn damage based on range. Failure indicates a miss unless a 20 is rolled. A 20 indicates that the
flame back tracks into the characters mouth and cause 1d6 points of burn damage.
Range Damage (*) Check Mod.

0' to 3' 2d6 -2
3' to 6' 1d6 -3
6' to 9' 1d4 -4
(*) save vs. Breath Weapon for half damage. Dexterity bonus apply.
"The Big Belch" is the incredible and slightly disgusting ability to produce long-lasting burps while
drinking alcohol. A character can burp continuously for 1d10+10 rounds after having only one serving of any
alcoholic beverage. If the character makes a successful skill check, he/she gains an additional 1d10+10 rounds
to the burp.
"The Mouth Catcher" is the ability to throw a small object into the air and catch it in his/her mouth.
Typical small objects are a nuts, popcorn, pretzels, etc.. The character can throw the object up to 5 feet into
the air and catch it without requiring a check. A skill check is required if the character tries for over 5 feet.
The check requires a modifier of -1 for every additional foot the character wants. A failed check indicates that
the small object misses the character's mouth. Roll on the following table to see where the object lands:
Roll Effect
1 Lands in character's nose.
2 Pokes character in left eye. Can't see through eye for 1d6 turns.
3 Pokes character in right eye. Can't see through eye for 1d6 turns.
4 Bounces off head and hits nearest person.
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5 Bounces off head and lands in character's drink.
6 Bounces off head and lands in nearest drink other than character's drink.
GMs should modify effects that would not apply to a given situation.
"Bottle Cap Flick" is the ability to take a bottle cap and flick it at a target. A skill check is required if the
character aims for a target over 5 feet away. The check requires a modifier of -1 for every additional foot the
target is away. A successful check indicates that the bottle cap hits the intended target. A failed check
indicates that the bottle cap misses the target a number of feet equal to the number of points the check was
missed. Thus, if the check was missed by 4 points, then the bottle cap lands four feet from it's target. The
direction the bottle cap is randomly determined by the GM.
Toasting
The term "toast" comes from the fact that, in days of old, beer was often consumed in front of the fireplace,
where bread was being toasted at the same time. To add nutrition and flavor (?) bits of the toast would be
thrown in the about-to-be-drunk beer and then a "toast" would be made. In any case the custom of toasting
one's drinking companions goes back many centuries and only the skilled make toasts that are remembered for
centuries.
Skill in toasting includes the skills of reciting above average to excellent toasts and judging the quality of
toasts. It also indicates that the character has a repertoire of toasts memorized for toasting at any time.
A character may wish to create a new toast to be used later or immediately. A successful skill check
indicates that the toast is of excellent quality. Failure indicates an above average toast, which is still better
than a toast of a commoner.
After a successful skill check and toast, a character with the Etiquette skill gains a -2 to all etiquette skill
checks in that situation. The excellent toast demonstrates that the character is a person of high class, whether
he is or not, and thus the toastees are more relaxed and less cautious of the character's true economical and
social class.
Here are two examples of toasts:
Drink to fair woman, who, I think,

Is most entitled to it;
For if anything drives men to drink,
She certainly can do it.
Here's to a long life and a merry one,

A quick death and easy one
A pretty girl and a true one
A cold beer - and another one.
Players and/or GMs are encourages to read Toasts and Anecdotes by Paul William Kearney (Clode pub. 1923,
written in 1896) and Toasts, the Complete Book of the Best Toasts, Sentiments, Blessings, Curses, and Graces
(Delacorte Press, c1981) for a great source of toasts to be used in the campaign to take full advantage of this
skill.
Some clever people have made careers out of creating toasts for less than imaginative kings and other
nobles. Sitting around making up toasts is quite a cushy job.
Wine Pouring
With this skill the bearer can entertain any other person with his flare in pouring wines. He can make even the
dullest, worst tasting wines look good to the common person. On a roll of 5 or below, the pourer does his act
with so much flare a few coins could be tossed his way. If he fails, he spills the wine. On a roll of 16+ (unless
16+ is a succeed) he pours the wine over himself. On a roll of 20 he pours the wine over himself and destroys
any paper or object that can be destroyed by liquid.
Wine Tasting
Less powerful than the Drinking (Boozing) skill but also less evil, this skill is for a more elite, upper class
person. This is the ability to appreciate and judge the quality of wines.
On a successful roll, the character can identify the kind of wine he is drinking and the quality: terrible,
very poor, poor, normal, good, very good, excellent. On a roll of 4 or less, the character can name the year of
the vintage, and recognize the vineyard.
32
NOT A TYPICAL ASSORTMENT OF WEAPONS
A paradox exists to those who enjoy intoxicating beverages that must attend places that serve intoxicating
beverages: how can a person enter combat when the person's combat weapons were checked at the door. The
solution would be to use a combat weapon that isn't considered a weapon but rather a common item. Thus,
this section provides information for items that might not be considered weapons by most people.
Characters of any class who would become proficient in any of these weapons would be indeed unique. A
Fighter who swings a tankard rather than a long sword would be a sight to see. One item mentioned later is the
Maltov Cocktail, a grenade filled alcohol that is lit and then tossed at its target. A grenade weapon
specialization and a few cocktails would come in very handy against drunken adventurers and the undead
(hard to tell them apart).
While on the subject of weapons, GM's should note that the preferred weapon by tavern owners and
employees who must keep the peace is the crossbow which is usually kept behind the bar (cocked in the more
rowdier establishments).
Weight Speed Damage

Item (lb.) Size Type Factor S-M L
Bottle, small 1 S B 4 1d4+1 1d3
Bottle, large 2 S B 4 1d6 1d3
Bottle, broken 1-2 S P 2 1d4 1d3
Sling bullet, olive 1/4 S B - - -
Swizzle stick 1/4 S P 2 1d3 1d2
Tankard 1 S B 4 1d6 1d3
Casket, small 4gal L B 10 1d6 1d4
Keg 5 gal L B 10 1d6+1 1d4+1
Casket medium 6 gal L B 10 1d8 1d6
Casket, large 8 gal L B 10 1d10 1d8
Barrel, small 16 gal L B 12 2d8+2 1d6+2
Barrel, medium 24 gal L B 12 3d6+2 3d4+2
Barrel, large 32 gal L B 12 5d6+4 5d4+4
Table 30 (V)L B 15 4d6 3d6
· Bottle, small: The bottle can hold .5 gallon of liquid but the purpose is not to be a container.
· Bottle, large: The bottle can hold 1 gallon of liquid but the purpose is not to be a container.
· Bottle, broken: Whether large or small, this bottle works the same as a piercing weapon. A person with a
normal bottle can make a broken quite easy by breaking it (of course the bottle must fail a save).
· Sling bullet, olive: The olive does no damage when used, but a successful called shot (-4 attack modifier)
to a target's eye will temporarily blind him/her. Thereafter, the victim gets +4 to hit.
· Swizzle stick: A swizzle stick is six inches in length and thin. It is mainly used to stir drinks but in the
hands of a clever person, can be used as am effective weapon.
· Tankard: A tankard is a large drinking cup usually with a handle and a hinged cover. Many people who
wield a tankard as a weapon like to have a finely crafted tankard with magnificent artwork on it. Of
course, a good, old, solid tankard would work just as easily.
· Containers: The various containers (Casket, small; Keg; Casket medium; Casket, large; Barrel, small;
Barrel, medium; Barrel, large) that contain alcohol can make very effective missile type boulder weapons.
The stats given for the containers assume that the container is at least half-full of liquid at the time of
tossing. Strength bonuses apply. GMs must make sure that the character is capable of lifting the container
and if so, be able to toss it to the required distance.
33
· Table: This table is any large, wooden round thing that has 4 wooden "legs" and a smooth surface. It is
wielded by picking it up over your head and throwing it in any certain direction. Hence the weight, it is
very hard to pick up. If it is thrown at a person with 19 strength and over, that person smashed the table to
bits before it hit (unless surprised or didn't know the table was coming). Any sharp object is stuck in the
surface and any blunt object bounces off. After taking about 2d6 points of damage in the same general spot
it will smash into bits in the next throw.
The Use of Alcohol as a Weapon
The use of high-proof spirits can be a really effect weapon; especially in a room illuminated by torches and
candles. SPLASH! FOOM! AAUUUGH! HA, HA, HA!.
Put simply, flaming alcohol burns for two rounds, causing 2d6 points of damage in the first round and 1d6
points in the second round.
Any container filled with alcohol can be used as a grenade-like weapon. When created for the purpose of
using it as a weapon, it is referred to as a Maltov Cocktail.
Lit alcohol used in a grenade-like missile can be considered the same as lit oil. Of course, the alcohol must
have a high alcohol content to be flammable. For more information on grenade-like weapons check your RPG
rule book. If the player wishes to create a Maltov Cocktail, the grenade-like stats for such a weapon are:
Type of Missile: Alcohol (Lit)

Type Amount: 16 oz.
Area of Effect: 3' diameter
Damage from Direct Hit: 2d6/1d6 hp
Splash Damage: 1d6/2 hp
Alcohol causes damage only when it is lit. Thus, the character must light the grenade (which must have some
type of "fuse", i.e. cloth sticking out, etc.). The lighting of the flask will result in a +4 to the initiative (this is
in addition to the +2 speed factor and any range modifiers). This also assumes that the character has an
available source of fire close at hand.
Most characters will light a cloth that is wrapped around the grenade so that the alcohol will not light
prematurely, but allow the alcohol to burst into flame when the container is broken. Of course, those that
desire an open connection to the alcohol may do so. In this case, vindictive GMs may have a percent chance
equal to the character's initiative multiplied by 5 that the fire will get into the alcohol causing the character to
drop it which would cause damage to him, for example. Another option of a character is that a character
could make two separate attacks: the first to throw the alcohol on thew target, the second to throw fire on the
target to light the alcohol. This is a much safer way, but harder way. In any case, most proficient characters
opt to wrap a cloth around the grenade and light it before throwing it because this is the safest way.
GETTING TO KNOW YOUR BOOZE
34
The cheapness of wine seems to be a cause,

not of drunkenness, but of sobriety.
--- Adam Smith
I rather like the bad wine, one gets so bored with the good.
--- Mr. Mountchesney
The best wine comes out of an old vessel.
--- Robert Burton
So shall thy barns be filled with plenty,

and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.
--- Proverbs 3:10
There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he purchases, finds, is offered, loots, or steals some form of
alcoholic beverage. Unfortunately, the description is boring and makes the substance as common as water. In
actuality, alcohol comes in many forms from many places and is made by many people. To illustrate this
diversity, the GM can follow the below steps to give his alcohol a kick. The GM does not have to obey the
rolls. He may change what information he once, how he wants. The steps and charts are only guidelines to
assist a GM in flavoring a campaign with a belt of some juice.
STEPS
1. Roll on table 1 to decide the type of alcohol.
2. Roll on the appropriate Made-By Table to decide who made the beverage. If HUMANOID is rolled then
roll on table 2F to decide what creature did make it. If SPECIAL is rolled the GM must choose; preferably an
intriguing, exciting, and unique race.
3. If the alcohol is beer, then roll on table 3 to decide what type of beer it is.
If the alcohol is wine, then roll on table 4 to decide what type of wine. For light wine, roll on table 4A, 4B,
and 4C to decide what the color, taste, and flavor of the wine is. No sub-tables are provided for fortified,
sparkling, and aromatized wines. Most specifics on these types of wines are named after real-world
geographical locations and would take away from the fantasy world. For example, Sparkling wines could be
broken down to Champagne, Astispumante, Burgundy, Moselle, Saumur, and Catawba (to name a few). But
these are named for geographic locations on Earth. If GMs wish to have drinks like these in their campaign,
they should name it after a place and then give a description of the drink to the players using the real world
counterpart.
If the alcohol is liquor, then roll on table 5 to decide what type of liquor it is. If the liquor is brandy, roll on
table 5C to decide what type of brandy it is. If the liquor is whiskey, flip a coin to decide if the whiskey is
straight or blended. If the liquor is coridial, the GM should decide what flavored this spirit because the options
are limitless.
4. Roll on table 6 to decide the quality of the beverage. Price is fixed to quality. Suggested prices aren't
given because they will vary in different societies and civilizations. Thus, the GM should decide the price for
a normal drink. A multiplier is given due to quality to adjusted the price of equal worth. By doing so, it would
be easy to figure the price for almost any size of container. For example, if a gallon of normal wine sells for
20 silver pieces; then a gallon of excellent wine would sell for 2000 silver pieces (20 SP * 100). Thus, any
size container can be determined for a particular alcoholic drink. One could also figure out what a small bottle
(.5 gal.), or flask, of alcohol would cost from any size. If a large casket of wine cost 1000 silver pieces; then a
small bottle of the same wine would cost 62.50 silver pieces, a large bottle would be 125 silver pieces, etc..
5. If a human made the alcohol, roll on table 7 to decide where the it came from. If a race other than human
made the alcohol, roll on table 8 to decide where it came from. NOTE: These tables must be created by the
GM to suit his/her particular campaign world. The race tables in the World of Greyhawk books work very
nicely for that world.
6. Table 9 is optional in deciding the container size. It is recommended that you decide what the size is
because size is depend on the environment. For example, if an adventurer walks into a bar, chances are there
are no tuns of wine for sale but a large bottle is readily available.
35
TABLE 1: Type Of Alcohol

01-2 Beer
21-40 Ale
41-60 Mead
61-80 Wine
81-00 Liquor
MADE-BY TABLES
TABLE 2A: Beer Made By

01-40 Human
41-65 Dwarf
66-75 Humanoid
76-85 Halfling
86-95 Gnome
96-99 Elf
00 Special
TABLE 2B: Ale Made By

01-40 Dwarf
41-65 Gnome
66-75 Halfling
76-85 Human
86-95 Elf
96-99 Humanoid
00 Special
TABLE 2C: Mead Made By

01-40 Elf
41-65 Human
66-75 Halfling
76-85 Gnome
86-95 Dwarf
96-99 Humanoid
00 Special
TABLE 2D: Wine Made By

01-40 Elf
41-65 Human
66-75 Halfling
76-85 Gnome
86-95 Dwarf
96-99 Humanoid
00 Special
TABLE 2E: Liquor Made By

01-40 Humanoid
41-65 Human
66-75 Dwarf
76-85 Gnome
86-95 Halfling
96-99 Elf
00 Special
SUB-TABLE 2F: Humanoid

01-10 Bugbear
11-20 Gnoll
21-30 Goblin
31-40 Giant
36
41-50 Half-orc
51-60 Hobgoblin
61-70 Lizard Man
71-80 Ogre
81-90 Orc
91-00 Troll
SPECIFIC TABLES
TABLE 3: Type of Beer

ROLL TYPE DESCRIPTION
01-20 Lager pale, medium-hop-flavored beer
21-40 Bock heavy, rich, dark-brown beer
41-60 Stout very dark beer
61-80 Porter mixture of ale and beer
81-00 Malt Liquor fruity, spicy, highly-alcoholic beer
TABLE 4: Type of Wine

01-39 Light
40-59 Fortified
60-79 Sparkling
80-00 Aromatized
TABLE 4A: Color of Wine

01-33 Red
34-67 White
68-00 Rose
TABLE 4B: Taste of Wine

01-40 Sweet
41-75 Medium
76-00 Dry
TABLE 4C: Flavor of Wine

01-03 Apple
04-06 Apricot
07-09 Ashberry
10-12 Banana
13-15 Blackberry
16-18 Blueberry
19-21 Cantaloupe
22-24 Cherry
25-27 Cranberry
28-30 Dandelion
31-33 Date
34-36 Elderberry
37-39 Elfberry
40-42 Fig
43-45 Grape, blue
46-48 Grape, green
49-51 Grape, red
52-54 Grape, purple
55-57 Grape, white
58-60 Potato
61-63 Peach
64-66 Pear
67-69 Plum
70-72 Prune
73-75 Raspberry
76-78 Strawberry
79-81 Watermelon
37
82-84 Wildberry
85-00 choose (preferably a grape type)
TABLE 5: Type of Liquor

01-20 Brandy
21-40 Whiskey
41-60 Rum
61-80 Gin
81-00 Cordial (Liqueur)
TABLE 5A: Type of Brandy

01-19 Cognac
20-29 Armagnac
30-39 Apple Jack
40-49 Kirsch (Cherry)
50-59 Mirabelle (Plum)
60-69 Slivovitz
70-74 Absinthe
75-79 Benedictine
80-00 ROLL ON TABLE 4C for the flavor of the brandy
TABLE 6: Quality
ROLL TYPE PRICE MULTIPLIER
01-05 Terrible .01
06-15 Very Poor .1
16-35 Poor .5
36-65 Normal 1
66-85 Good 10
86-95 Very Good 50
96-00 Excellent 100
TABLE 9: Size of Container

Bottle, small .5 gallon
Bottle, large 1 gallon
Jug, small 2 gallons
Jug, large 3 gallons
Casket, small 4 gallons
Keg 5 gallons
Casket medium 6 gallons
Casket, large 8 gallons
Barrel, small 16 gallons
Barrel, medium 24 gallons
Barrel, large 32 gallons
Tun 250 gallons
38
SPELLS WITH A TWIST OF LIME
Mages
Cantrip
Ferment Grape
Know Vintage
Know Quality
· Level 1
Alter Taste
Analyze Drink
Cure Hangover
Intoxicate
Morrison's Next Whiskey Bar
Simple Distillation
· Level 2
Bucca's Noxious Exhalation
Continual Drunkenness
Create Alcohol
Sidney's Excellent Alcohol
Sidney's Flash Fermentation
· Level 3
Gorann's Rapid Intoxication
Leomund's Tiny Tavern
Mask Inebriation
Niiraloth's Random Sobriety
· Level 4
Become Phantasmal Lover
Ni-Gar's Panty Peeler
· Level 5
Cloud of Intoxication
Malar's Alcohol Detonation
Transmute Matter To Alcohol
· Level 9
Cloud of Great Intoxication
FAE
Clerics
· Level 1
Speak with the Intoxicated
· Level 2
Create Alcohol (see mage spell)
Cure Drunkenness
39
Lower Alcohol Addiction
Resist Intoxication
Speed Fermentation
· Level 4
Protection from Intoxication
· Level 6
Transmute Water to Wine
Zone of Tolerance
Mages
Ferment Grape (Evocation)
Level: Cantrip
Type: Useful
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2 segment
Area of Effect: 1 grape
Save: None
By use of this spell an apprentice can convert the contents of a grape into fermented wine. It will not change
the skin of the grape so it will keep its shape. Used by apprentices tired of the same old food from a teacher
who do not approve of alcohol. Could also be good in an emergency for use against alcohol sensitive
monsters.
Know Vintage (Divination)
Level: Cantrip
Type: Useful
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Permanent
Area of Effect: Equivalent of one bottle or less
Save: None
By use of this spell an apprentice or wizard is able to tell what vintage (year) of one bottle of
wine/champagne. It is also possible to tell, with a 10% chance of failure, the vineyard or winery where the
wine came from. This spell is very useful for those who are not sure about a particular bottle of wine. A small
drop of wine from the bottle is necessary to cast the spell.
Know Quality (Divination)
Level: Cantrip
Type: Useful
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Permanent
Area of Effect: Equivalent of one bottle or less
Save: None
By casting this spell an apprentice or wizard is able to tell what quality of wine/champagne he/she is drinking.
This spell will let the caster know by quickly flashing a color, on the surface of the drink, corresponding to the
40
level of quality. It will also warn of possible poison or spoilage. The color black means pour or bad quality.
The color blue means god or average quality. A light blue means very good and white means excellent. If the
flash is black and red, look for possible poisons. This spell was developed by apprentices who were tired of
getting pour quality wines with dinner. They also didn't want to keep being ripped off in pubs.
Alter Taste (Alteration) Reversible
Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 1 turn / level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 pint / level
Save: None
This spell allows the mage to give an alcoholic flavor (taste) to any liquid. It does not turn the liquid to
alcohol. It merely gives it the taste of beer, ale, wine, mead, or liquor. Also, it only changes the flavor and not
its appearance.
Now a mage can buy a glass of water (cheap), cast this spell, and enjoy an alcohol flavored drink without
suffering the negative effects of swigging the real thing. A mage could also improve the flavor of a drink. For
example, cheap beer can now taste like elegant wine, but the alcohol level is that of beer. A bad-tasting potion
can now taste quite nice as well.
The flavor (cider, ale, wine, etc.) is chosen by the caster. However, there is always a 100 - 10 per level
percent chance of the spell screwing up. In this case the GM chooses the taste.
Note that since the component is only somatic the spell can be cast easily unnoticed.
The reverse of this spell allows the caster to remove the alcoholic flavor of a drink, but without removing
the alcohol itself. It can also be used to restore it's normal taste to a previously altered drink.
Analyze Drink (Divination)
Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: 1 drink
Save: None
This spell requires the caster to sip a drink of any sort. The spell will then analyze all the components of the
drink and make them known to the caster.
The various liquids which make up the drink are revealed specifically, as well as the proportions in which
they are extant. Specific brews, vintages, or brands (if applicable) are known exactly, and any dilution of the
drink with water is also revealed.
Since the casting requires actually tasting the drink, it is not really useful in safely identifying poisons
(although the caster will instantly know what kind of poison that just hit him!).
Cure Hangover (Abjuration) Reversible
Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: None
This spell enables the wizard to relieve a person of intoxication. Once cast a person does not need to recover
from intoxication or suffer the effects of recovery. Note: It may be difficult for wizards to cast this cantrip
upon himself if intoxicated given the chance for spell failure.
41
The reverse of this spell is Cause Hangover. The mage must make a successful attack roll to touch a person
in combat. If successful, the victim gets a hangover. Roll on Table 1, Hangover Effects Table, to get the
effects of the hangover.
Intoxicate (Enchantment) Reversible
Level: 1
Range: 100 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: special
Casting Time: 1
Save: Neg.
This spell allows the mage to increase a person's intoxication state by one. Thus, a sober person would
become slightly intoxicated, a moderately intoxicated person would become greatly intoxicated, and so on.
The reverse of this spell will decrease a person's intoxication state by one.
The material component is a pint of pure alcohol.
Morrison's Next Whiskey Bar (or Tavern Locator) (Divination)
Level: 1
Range: 1 mile per level
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: Special
Save: None
This spell is used by a mage who is looking for a good place to have a blast and get blasted. The spell seeks
out all establishments within range and instantly gives the caster a mental impression of the best place, with
regards to its location, name, general appearance, and taste of the mage. The spell determines which is the
"best" location by considering the following factors, in descending order of importance: strength and quality
of drinks served, wildness factor, size of bar, and inexpensiveness. If there is no such location (at all) within
spell range, the caster must save vs. death magic or fall into a 1d4 round coma, and emerges from it weeping
but unharmed.
Simple Distillation (Alteration)
Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 5 gallons per level
Save: None
No material components. No somatic gestures. Just a complicated guttural verbal component. Many mages
have tried to reduce this spell a cantrip. However, it doesn't seem to be possible to reduce the verbal
component enough to do this. Perhaps adding a small somatic gesture?
Each casting halves the volume and effectively doubles the percent alcohol in the liquid it is cast upon.
The catch is that the water goes first. Thus, if beer containing 10% alcohol is placed in the pot, then it will
loose half its volume, but will now contain 20% alcohol. When all the water is gone, some other liquid (juice,
etc.) has to go next, GM's choice.
Effects are similar to Darkblood's Travel Size Distillery. In fact, this is the spell Darkblood used in
creating his distillery.
This spell has no effect on any living being... except perhaps water elementals. This is up to the GM. For
example, the water elemental must save vs. spell or lose half remaining hit points when struck by this spell.
Save indicates half damage or loss of fourth of the remaining hit points. This is visibly a very powerful spell
42
vs. water elementals, but how many times does one see water elementals? If this is a problem than simply
rule it doesn't effect water elemental either, or lower the damage it causes.
Bucca's Noxious Exhalation (Alteration)
Level: 2
Range: 25'
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 4
Area of Effect: Cloud 10' radius
Save: Special
As a mage who enjoyed fermenting his own brews, Bucca was totally unaware of the odor of his own
creations. Sam, as he was known to his friends, grew tired of complaints from his friends about the rank smell
of his breath after taste testing his own brews. He designed this spell (popularly known as Bucca's Beery
Breath) to make use of his foul exhalations, in the hope that his friends would stop complaining.
In the casting of this spell, the mage must consume at least 100 milliliters of an alcoholic beverage, the
potency of which determines the efficiency of the spell (see below).
In addition to drinking the alcohol, the caster leans forward and belches loudly and from his mouth issues a
stream of putrid breath, which expands to fill a cloud of 10' radius. all within the cloud must make a save vs.
breath weapons or suffer 2d4 points of damage (1d4 if saved) and the special effects listed below (or none if
the save is made). The cloud swiftly dissipates, and is gone within four segments of its creation. All effects of
the spell including drunkenness pass within 1 hour.
Potency Saving
Level Type Throw Special Effects
1 diluted beers, etc. +5 stinging eyes, coughing
2 ales, white wines +1 retching
3 red wines, cocktails 0 disorientation, 1-3 rounds
4 spirits -1 slight drunkenness
5 liquors -2 Sickness, mild drunkenness
6 magical brews -4 Sever drunkenness -> comatose
Stinging eyes, coughing has little effect beyond -3 to missile fire. Retching means that any characters affected
are delayed in attacking for 1-6 segments. Disorientation indicates the onset of drunkenness, if the character is
left alone at the end of the period of drunkenness he will resume previous activities, if attacked, the character
may respond in kind, with -1 to attack rolls. Slight drunkenness means that the character is confused, no
dextrous activities allowed, and -2 to attack rolls. Sickness and mild drunkenness indicates that the character
will not want to eat or drink for 1d12 hours, -2 to attack rolls, and -1 damage. Severe drunkenness denotes that
the character is totally befuddled, -5 attack rolls, -3 damage, and he can barely walk in a straight line.
Note that the effects of drunkenness are different then those in the Alcohol Guide rules. Because the
effects are caused by magic, the effects are based on the Bucca's interpretation of alcohol and what he wants
the spell to accomplish.
Continual Drunkenness (Alteration, Enchantment)
Level: 1
Range: 1"
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Indefinite
Casting Time: 1
Save: Special
This spell can be directed at any creature who looks the caster in the eyes; only one being can be affected per
casting of the spell. The caster's eyes look watery and swirly at the completion of the casting, at which time
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the gaze can be used. The creature gets a save vs. poison at -3 to escape the effects, and in that case the spell
is not dissipated, rather, it remains active until one creature is affected. A creature failing its save is made
mystically drunk, and will remain so indefinitely; an analysis of the being's aura or any magic designed to
detect charms will reveal the spell's existence.
The clerical spell cure drunkenness will negate it for as many turns as the casting cleric has levels, but
after this time, the effect will return. The creature's level of inebriation is determined by the caster's level:
Level of Caster Degree of Drunkenness

3rd - 5th Slight
6th - 9th Moderate
10th and up Great
A mirror or gaze reflection spell may be able to make the spell backfire on the caster; in this case, the degree
of mystical drunkenness will be one less than normal. For example, if the 10th level wizard Farsharn has the
spell reflected upon himself by Rath's nimble application of a mirror, then Farsharn will not be "Great"ly
drunk, but only "Moderate"ly so. If this would reduce it below Slight, then do not reduce it; it will always
have at least Slight effects. To rid oneself of these effects, a successful dispel magic or remove curse will be
effective.
The material component of this spell is a serving of liquor that is consumed by the mage during casting.
Create Alcohol (Alteration) Reversible
Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: 1 pint / level
Save: None
This spell alters the taste AND creates alcohol content into any liquid. Like the Alter Self, the caster chooses
the taste of the alcohol to be created. With this spell, the mage also chooses the alcohol content of the liquid
(equal to beer, ale, wine, mead, or liquor). There is always a 100 - 10 per level percent chance of the spell
screwing up. In this case the GM chooses the taste.
Since alcohol really creates the appearance of drinks, at least partially, then the appearance of the
transformed liquid will appear somewhat the same. Changing beer to wine looks more like wine, but it may
still be a little bit frothy.
The reverse of this spell removes or lower the quantity of alcohol and its taste in the drink.
Sidney's Excellent Alcohol (Conjuration)
Level: 2
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: .5 pint / level
Save: None
This spell allows the caster to magically summon alcohol of any sort, within the caster's tasting experience
(i.e. the caster must have sampled the alcohol beverage previously in his life). The tankard or whatever
container is used becomes full of the desired beverage.
One material component of the spell is the container (obviously) of no less than 100 silver pieces in price
which is not consumed. The other material component is pinch of hops or a few grapes.
Sidney's was a particularly alcoholic mage who unfortunately could no longer cast the spell because of the
verbal components that were impossible to speak in his constant drunken state.
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Sidney's Flash Fermentation (Alteration)
Level: 2
Range: 15 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: .5 pint / level
Save: None
This spell is a simple spell which speeds up the normal fermentation times for alcohol manufacture. The mage
can speed up fermentation a maximum of 3 years per level of the caster, thus to instantly have a truly fine
aged wine the mage must be of fairly high level. If the mage knows how long fermentation normally takes
(through research or just being an alcoholic), he can cast this spell with automatic success, the alcohol is ready
to be consumed. If the mage doesn't know how long it should ferment, then it is guesswork. The GM then
decides whether the brew is underdone or overdone (e.g. juice or vinegar).
Material component is a sprinkle of hops.
This spell was originally researched by an alcoholic mage who was sick of having to wait the years needed
to produce a fine wine. A more powerful version of the spell is currently being researched in order to make
wines of the magnitude of thousands of years fermentation, but Sidney is having trouble with some of the
material components (a wine mug and pitcher from the Halls of Valhalla).
Gorann's Rapid Intoxication (Alteration)
Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Save: Negates
This spell causes one creature touched during the spell's casting to instantly fail Constitution checks for
intoxication during the next 12 hours. A creature in this state will become rapidly drunk no matter what
strength of alcohol they are drinking. The victim is generally not aware of the spell's existence on their
person, and may be puzzled by their lack of tolerance.
The somatic component is a friendly pat on the back, and the verbal component is a cheery "Drink up!"
Leomund's Tiny Tavern (Alteration)
Level: 3
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 5 hours + 1 hour/level
Casting time: 3
Area of Effect: 20-foot-diameter sphere
Save: None
A spell similar to Leomund's Tiny Hut, this spell was probably not made by Leomund. Speculation gives
credit to one of Leomund's apprentices. In any case, this is a weaker spell with extra niceties. Another strange
relative to this spell is its sister spell Leomund's Tiny Brothel (definitely not from Leomund, thus adding
evidence to the originals of these copies).
When this spell is cast, the wizard creates an unmoving, opaque, sound-proof, sphere of force of any
desired color around his person. Up to 6 other man-sized creatures can fit into the field with its creator, and
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these can freely pass into and out of the tavern without harming it, but if the spellcaster removes himself from
it, the spell dissipate.
The temperature inside the tavern is a cool 60 degrees Fahrenheit, if the exterior temperature is between 0
and 100 degrees. An exterior temperature below 0 and above 100 lowers or raises, respectively, the interior
temperature on a 1 degree-for-1 degree basis. The tiny tavern also provides protection against the elements,
such as rain, dust, sandstorms, and the like. The tavern can withstand any wind of less than hurricane force
without being harmed, but wind force greater than that destroys it.
The interior of the tavern is a hemisphere; the spellcaster can illuminate it dimly upon command, or
extinguish the light as desired. A sturdy wooden table and seven chairs sits in the center of the tavern. On the
table sits three bowls. One contains pretzels, one contains potato chips, and one contains peanuts. The bowls
magically fill themselves of the snacks. Along side the table is a chest filled with a never ending supply of ice
and bottles of alcohol. The type of alcohol is dependent of the mage's wishes. Each bottle may contain a
different type of alcohol but no alcohol may be better than normal in quality. An illusion of a lovely, big-
breasted, blonde wench will mingle around the tavern and serve the occupants needs.
Note that although the force field is opaque from the outside, it is transparent from within. Missiles,
weapons, and most spell effects can pass through the tavern without affecting it, although the occupants
cannot be seen from outside the tavern. The tavern can be dispelled.
The material component for this spell is a small crystal bead that shatters when the spell duration expires
or the tavern is dispelled, a glass bottle, and an oak stick (at least one foot long).
Mask Inebriation (Illusion) Reversible
Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 3d6 turns
Casting Time: 1 round
Save: Special
This spell creates a shell of illusion focused upon one drunken (but conscious) creature. Its purpose is to cause
all observers to look upon the affected creature as entirely sober. It insidiously affects their perceptions so that
they will interpret the person's actions and statements as those of a rational, sober individual. Any slurring of
the speech, inconsistencies in statements, wobbling, or weaving will be overlooked or ascribed to some other
factor. True seeing or other means of bypassing illusions are effective in countering this spell.
The reverse, Unbelievable Sobriety, will convince observers that a sober creature is hopelessly drunk, and
works on their perceptions in similar (but opposite) ways. In all other respects it is as the former application.
Niiraloth's Random Sobriety (Alteration, Wild Magic)
Level: 3
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1d4 x 100 rounds
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: The caster
Save: None
This spell is unusual even for a wild magic dweomer, and is cast by taking a huge swig of liquor after saying
the magic words. It causes a strange type of drunkenness to overwhelm the caster. The mage's state of
intoxication is randomly determined every round, as per the table below:
d100 Roll Intoxication Level

01-25 Sober (normal)
26-50 Slight (2 x effects)
51-75 Moderate (3 x effects)
76-95 Great (4 x effects)
96-00 Incoherent (casting impossible)
Note that the % chance of spell failure inherent to these states of drunkenness is changed by the spell's magic
to mean "% chance of Wild Surge" instead. Spells which surge because of the random sobriety will have
enhanced effects as noted above. A mage who is Sober will act and cast normally that round. A mage in Slight
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intoxication will have a 25% chance of surging any spell, but suffers all other side effects of drunkenness.
Moderate intoxication means a 50% chance of surging, with other side effects retained. Great intoxication will
cause all spells cast to surge (rather than making casting impossible), but has severe side effects otherwise.
Incoherent means that the mage is in danger of passing out--if this is rolled twice in a row, then the mage will
fall unconscious for 1d4 rounds.
A side benefit of this spell is that the mage has a % chance equal to the chance of surging to be able to
escape (usually by stumbling, otherwise by colorful chaos-interference) any negative side effects of their wild
surges during that round. Also, Nahal's Reckless Dweomer has triple chance to cast the desired spell normally
during this spell's effect.
Become Phantasmal Lover (Illusion/Phantasm)
Level: 4
Range: 5 yards /level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Until the next morning
Casting Time: As long as it takes (see below)
Save: Special
When this spell is cast, the wizard causes his features to shift in the mind of his victim to conform to those of
an individual that the victim considers to the ultimate lover. Once the spell is successfully cast (and the save
varies according to the amount of preparation in casting the spell), the recipient will be putty in the hands of
the caster, not out of enchantment but only out of the recipient's own sense of wish-fulfillment.
This spell takes as much time to cast as it takes to get the recipient drunk. The more thoroughly tanked the
recipient gets, the worse will be the save:
Had a serving of alcohol -1

Slightly intoxicated -2
Moderately intoxicated -4
Greatly intoxicated -8
The material component of this spell is large quantities of alcohol, which must be passed through the gullet
of the recipient.
Ni-Gar's Panty Peeler (Enchantment)
Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 humanoid via an alcoholic drink
Save: None
This enchantment is unusual because it is not cast directly at it victim, but is cast upon a medium of
transferral. The spell can only be cast upon a prepared alcoholic drink (the mixing or pouring of which is the
somatic component), not on an entire flask, bottle or keg of alcohol. The spell recipient is defined as one who
offers the enspelled drink to another person. The recipient does not necessarily need to know of the drink's
enchanted status, but to benefit from the enchantment, must offer it verbally to another creature, who is the
target of the spell. If the target accepts the drink and imbibes even a sip, the spell is activated and the target is
instantly affected. The victim receives no save if they accept the drink, and forcing a being to drink will
negate the magic.
A person affected by the spell is then subject to a specialized charm, which persuades them to willingly
and enthusiastically submit to the recipient's romantic and/or sexual overtures. The charm lasts for exactly 24
hours, after which time the victim is free to react normally to the recipient, and will believe that any actions
made while the charm was in effect were made freely. The victim must be of a sexual orientation which is
compatible with the spell recipient.
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Cloud of Intoxication (Evocation/Alteration)
Level: 5
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, M, S
Duration: 1 round / level
Casting Time: 5 Segments
Area of Effect: 16 foot-cube
Save: None
This spell is similar to the spell Cloudkill of the same level. This spell will create a large rose and white
flowing and churning cloud. The cloud will move away from the caster at 10 ft. per round, rolling along the
ground in the original direction dictated by the caster. A wind might change the direction of the cloud. A
strong wind will disperse the cloud in two or three rounds. A very strong wind will disperse the cloud
immediately. Heavy vegetation will slow the cloud to one half speed and cause it to disperse after two rounds.
All creatures enveloped by the cloud must be compared to their hit dice or class level to see the effect the
cloud has on the creature or character. A creature with 3+1 hit dice will immediately become Greatly
intoxicated. All creatures from 4+1 to 6+1 hit dice will become Moderately intoxicated and all creatures of
7+1 and greater hit dice will become Slightly intoxicated. Any creature over 11+1 hit dice or higher must save
vs. poison, with no penalty to avoid becoming Slightly intoxicated. Each round spent in the cloud increases
the chance of high and medium hit dice creatures to become more intoxicated and Greatly intoxicated
creatures to become comatose. For each round spent in the cloud a creature must save vs. poison or reach the
next higher level of intoxication. For each round spent in the cloud beyond four any creature or character must
save at a cumulative -1 per round. There are no racial or weight modifiers for to this spell. Please see the
section on intoxication to see the effects of intoxication and it is recommended that GM's use the Optional
Drunk Disposition Rule for cases of Great Intoxication.
The effects of this spell are such that it will extend the time needed to recover from a state of intoxication.
For someone who became Comatose add 5 hours to the recovery time. For Great intoxication add 4 hours. For
Moderate intoxication add 3 hours and for Slight intoxication add 2 hours to the recovery time. Using
stimulants to speed recovery is reduced by one half effectiveness unless magical Stimulants are used. The
spell also extends the time needed to recover from a hangover by 1d4 hours. Obviously this spell becomes
more potent the higher the level of the caster. Since more people or monster could be trapped and possibly
made comatose by the spell.
The material components for this spell are some dried grape skins from an exceptional vintage or a
sprinkling of the best hops.
Malar's Alcohol Detonation (Alteration, Evocation)
Level: 5
Range: 6"
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 5
Save: Special
This rather mean-spirited spell causes alcoholic beverages within the area of effect to detonate violently. Such
fluids which are already within a being's system are immune to this effect, but a drink being held to one's
mouth at the time of detonation will still explode. The mage designates a spherical area of effect somewhere
within range as his target (with a maximum radius of 3", and a minimum radius of 1/2 foot). All such
beverages within this area will then immediately blow up. Damage caused and blast radius by drink and
quantity are detailed below:
Quantity Present
Drink Type 1 cup 1 bottle 1 keg Barrel or larger
Beer 1d3, 1/2" 1d4, 1" 1d4, 2" 2d4, 4"
Ale 1d4, 1" 1d4, 2" 1d6, 3" 3d4, 4"
Wine 1d4, 1" 2d4, 2" 2d4, 3" 2d6, 4"
Mead 1d6, 2" 2d6, 3" 4d4, 4" 3d8, 5"
Liquor 1d10, 2" 3d6, 4" 2d12, 5" 5d8, 6"
Amounts of damage are added, and blast radius is determined by using the greater radius. For example, if the
spell were directed at a table on which sat three glasses of wine and a bottle of whiskey, then the blast radius
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would be 4" and the damage caused would be 3d4 + 3d6. A liquor cabinet or wine cellar has the potential for
much destruction with this spell.
Beings within the blast radius may make a save vs. spell to take only half damage, UNLESS they were
drinking from an exploding liquid at the time, in which case they must save or take double damage (double
from that explosion only).
The explosion may cause incidental fires, and tends to leave rays of black carbonization behind on
materials within the radius.
Transmute Matter To Alcohol (Alteration) Reversible
Level: 5
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: 1 object
Save: None
This spell turns any non-organic object into alcohol. The object must be at least 10 yards away and in sight. It
will turn into the most common form of alcohol that is in the player's campaign world. Thus if beer is the
most prevalent form of alcohol, the object turns to beer.
Objects can be turned back with the reverse of this spell, but all of the liquid must be contained together.
After chanting and using motions involving thinking and pointing at the object to be turned, the caster
throws the material components (a drop of 100% alcohol in a crystal casing and a small wooden carving of the
object [very simple]) at the object, which always magically hits the object. Any object that is turned can be
drunk, and once inside turned back.
The reverse, when used on normal alcohol, can summon very strange objects. The GM can decide on what
object, or roll on the Magical Item chart to see what it is. (if this is used then it only LOOKS like the magical
item rolled).
Cloud of Great Intoxication (Evocation/Alteration)
Level: 9
Range: 100 yards
Components: V, M, S
Duration: 2 Turns / level
Area of Effect: 60 foot-cube
Save: None
This spell is similar to the fifth level spell Cloudkill. This spell will create a large blue and pink billowing and
churning cloud. The cloud will move away from the caster at 10 ft. per round. The cloud will move along the
ground at the casters direction. A light wind will not affect the movement of the cloud as long as the magic-
users is concentrating on the spell. A med. strength wind will slow or change the direction of the cloud no
more than one foot per round in any direction as long as the magic-user concentrates on the spell. A strong
wind will disperse the cloud after 5 rounds, unless the caster makes a successful check vs. Int. to keep the
cloud together and under control. A very strong wind will disperse the cloud after 2 rounds, but if a save is
made the cloud remains but the caster can not control the spell for that round. The caster will be spending all
his/her concentration on keeping the spell active. Heavy vegetation will slow the cloud to one half speed and
but will not cause it to disperse.
All creatures enveloped by the cloud will be affected. All such creatures will be put into an alcoholic coma
unless they make a save vs. poison. A successful save means that the creature will become Greatly
intoxicated. Any creature over 10+1 hit dice or higher will save vs. poison at +2. Each round spent in the
cloud increases the chance of becoming intoxicated by the cloud.
For each round spent in the cloud a creature must save vs. poison or become comatose. For each round
spent in the cloud beyond two any creature or character must save at a cumulative -1 per round and after four
rounds magic resistance will be reduced by 5% per round spent enveloped by the cloud. The power of this
spell is such that even creatures or persons immune to the effects of alcohol, magical or otherwise, will be
affected by this spell after five rounds. There are no racial or weight modifiers to this spell. Please see the
section on intoxication to see the effects of intoxication and it is recommended that GM's use the Optional
Drunk Disposition Rule for cases of Great Intoxication. The effects of this spell are such that it will extend the
time needed to recover from a state of intoxication. For someone who became Comatose add 10 hours to the
recovery time. Once the state of Great intoxication has been reached it will take an additional 6 hours to
49
recover. Once someone has moved to Moderate intoxication it will take an additional 5 hours to reach a state
of Slight intoxication. It will take an extra 2 hours to return to normal. Using stimulants to speed recovery is
possible but if the constitution check is failed add another thirty minutes to the recover time of to this stage of
intoxication. Magical stimulants can be used with no ill effect. The spell also extends the time needed to
recover from a hangover by 2d6 hours and makes the effect of the hangover twice as severe.
Obviously this is a potent spell which in the right hands could waylay a small army. The GM must be wary
of how this potent magic is used.
The material components for this spell are some dried grape skins or a sprinkling of the best hops, both
must come from a once in a century harvest. The second and most important component of this spell is the
blue breath of a content Alcohol Dragon, without which this spell will not work.
FAE (Evocation)
Level: 9
Range: 1000 feet / level
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 2 turns
Area of Effect: 200 feet/level radius
Save: Special
FAE is a strategic, not tactical spell. Notice that most offensive (and defensive for that matter) spells are
tactical in nature. Attacks that affect a few people are classified tactical, while large-scale attacks (i.e.
affecting a whole town or city) are strategic spells.
To understand this spell, one must first take a look at the history of bombs in a technically advanced
society on a world called Earth within a far off galaxy in another time. During 20th century Earth, the design
idea in most bombs was to include both the oxidant, and the fuel (or technically a strong oxidizer, and a strong
reducer) in one shell. However, research was directed towards a bomb that might use air as the oxidant (as did
some weaker black-powder explosives, though the better ones underwent a predominantly anaerobic reaction
during the explosion). Then the design idea was to create a bomb that would carry that same explosive force,
with half the weight. What the wise military scientists created came cosmetically close to the force of the first
atomic bombs, with little or no pollution of any sort (albeit its hard to refer to massive incendiaries as
"environmentally safe") and not much heavier than conventional weapons. These FAE (Fuel- Air Explosive)
bombs dispersed a gas fuel and then ignited it causing a large explosion of fire that actually sucked the oxygen
right out of the air.
This spell simulates the devastating technological bomb of Earth. Once cast, the spell creates a large (25
feet long, 5 feet in diameter at base), indestructible, magical missile from the mage's concoction (described
later) that heads to its target, better known as ground zero. The missile cannot be stopped or manipulated
naturally or magically, it always gets to its destination (of course GMs may make exceptions to this rule).
Once ground zero is reached, the missile lightly disperses a very strong, somewhat gaseous, magical alcohol
that is then ignited causing immense damage and complete lose of oxygen in the area of effect.
The spell's range to ground zero is 1000 feet for every level of the caster. This allows an 18th level mage
to center the spell as much as three miles away. This would indicate that the mage is well within enemy
borders in most cases when the spell is cast, although he is still a distance from his target.
The area of effect is a sphere with a 200 feet per level of the caster radius. The caster cannot control the
area of effect. Thus if the mage is 18th level, he will always cast a FAE that is 7200 feet in diameter. Given
that 5280 feet comprise a mile, this is quite a distance. The mage better be descent at judging distance, or he
might suddenly find himself inside the area of effect of his own spell.
Damage to the victims come by two means. The first is the combustion/compression of the explosion
which does 10d10 points of damage. Victims get no save because the area of effect is to large and the
explosion is the very air around the victim, thus escape is impossible.
The second means of damage stems from the suffocation resulting from the explosion that uses up all the
available oxygen in the area of effect. Every round beginning the round the spell is cast, 2d8 damage is taken
from lack of oxygen. A victim that has a chance to take a large breath of air and does not perform strenuous
exercise while holding his breath and is not fully encumbered can hold his breath for a number of rounds
equal to 1/3 his Constitution, rounded up (nonstrenuous exercise includes such activities as normal movement,
searching for secret doors, etc.). If a victim is performing strenuous exercise, the number of rounds is cut in
half (strenuous exercise includes combat, attempting to subdue or move an uncooperative creature, trying to
lift heavy weight, moving at high speed, etc.). If a person does not have a chance to take a deep breath before
the spell takes effect, the amount of time is halved (rounded up). This halving is cumulative with that
strenuous exercise. Note that anybody can always hold his breath for at least one round.
When his breath runs out, a person does not immediately suffer the 2d8 points of damage caused because
of the lack of oxygen. Each round after his breath runs out, the person makes a Constitution check. The first
check has no modifiers, but there is a -2 cumulative modifier each round thereafter. A failed check indicates
that the victim tries to inhale oxygen, which is not there, and suffers the 2d8 points of damage. He will
50
continue to suffer 2d8 points of damage each round until oxygen diffuse back into the area of effect or he
leaves the area of effect or dies.
After detonation of the spell which rids the area of effect of oxygen, the oxygen will diffuse in at 50 feet a
round.
The material components of this spell are usually rare, typically expensive, and quite bulky. During casting,
the following ingredients are mixed together:
· Ten gallons of pure 200 proof alcohol is required. If there is any trace of impurity before casting, the spell
will backfire causing the mage to be the center of the area of effect. Many armies have foiled many
mages by sending an assassin to place a foul liquid, such as Skunk Water, in the alcohol thus causing
the mage and his comrades to be victims of their own spell.
· One gallon of the highly poisonous blood of a Milwaukee is required. Many adventurers have died trying
to kill a Milwaukee just to get its blood.
· One gallon of holy water created by priests of Malus Temulentia.
· A pint of blood from a 9th level priest of Ebrietas.
· All alcohol from a gland of an alcohol dragon is required. This material component is difficult to get
because he gland must be filled to get alcohol from it. Thus if the alcohol dragon used its breath weapon,
the gland ould be empty. Only clever adventures can kill an alcohol dragon to get the gland without having
the dragon used its breath weapon. Note that capturing the alcohol from the breath weapon won't work
because the alcohol enters an impure state. The pure state of the alcohol can only be found in a gland.
After the ingredients are blended together, the following items must be added to the concoction:
· One living boozeworm.
· A dash of salt and a squirt of lime.
· The ivory tusks of a Pink Elephant.
· The hide of the sinister Clydesdale breed, Pravus Clydesdale.
· The corpse of one giant alcohol black ant.
· One diamond that has a value no less than 10,000 silver pieces.
The material components are perhaps the biggest problem with the spell for without them the spell can't be
cast. GMs should make the material components hard to come by and adventures should be made just for that.
In fact collecting the material components, whether by the mage or other adventurers, would be a great way of
introducing the alcohol guide to a campaign.
Only very rich people, like kings and other nobles, could afford to purchase some of the more exotic
material components. Thus a useful partnership takes place: the ruler needs the wizard for the intense spell,
the wizard needs the ruler's resources to collect the components.
This spell is a closely guarded secret by those that are fortunate to possess it. Using FAE offensively is
great, but being on the receiving end of the spell is not to fun.
Is this spell to powerful?
An 18 is the minimum level the mage must be to cast this 9th spell. Hopefully, few 18th level mages are
roaming around. If a GM allows a PC mage to reach 18th level, one of two points can be assumed. Either the
GM has been very careful to create game balance in which case the GM will make this spell very dangerous
to cast (via collecting and keeping material components, getting safely to the target area which is no doubt
deep in secured enemy territory, etc.). Or the GM is an out of control Monty Haulic in which case it doesn't
matter if the spell is to powerful; the argument would be "Is 9th level to high?".
Clerics
Speak with the Intoxicated (Alteration)
Level: 1
Sphere: Divination
Range: 1
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Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Save: None
This spell empowers the priest to comprehend and communicate with any person that is intoxicated. The
priest is able to ask questions and receive intelligent answers that are accompanied with friendless,
cooperations, and understanding. The true usefulness of the spell is when the intoxicated person is comatose.
A spell or power of this sort could make the priest a very valuable party commodity for his/her ability to
interrogate those who require so much alcohol to loosen their tongues that it also shuts down most of their
brains.
Cure Drunkenness (Abjuration) Reversible
Level: 2
Sphere: Healing
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: None
This spell will instantly remove all effects of alcohol intoxication from one target's system. This instantly
alleviates hangover, lack of sobriety, and all associated effects of being drunk or its immediate after-effects. It
will not cure or abate maladies caused by long-term alcohol abuse, such as cirrhosis of the liver, alcoholism,
heart disease, etc..
The reverse, cause drunkenness, will make its target instantly and severely drunk. The drunkenness caused
will last as long as normal drunkenness would last, and may bring on a hangover. The severity of the
drunkenness is Slight if cast by a 2rd-5th level priest, Moderate if cast by a 6th-9th level priest, and Great if
cast by a 10th level or higher priest.
Lower Alcohol Addiction (Abjuration)
Level: 2
Sphere: Healing
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 2
Save: None
This spell allows the cleric to lower a person's alcohol addiction by 2 per class level in the drinking and
amount levels. For example, a 5th level cleric casts this spell on a addicted person (level 8 drinking, level 4
amount). The cleric gets 10 to work with (5*2) and decides to lower the drinking level by 8 and the amount
level by 2. Thus the addicted person now has a drinking level of 0 and an amount level by 2. A pretty good
start for a speedy recovery.
Resist Intoxication (Abjuration)
Level: 2
Sphere: Protection
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 6d6 hours
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: Personal
Save: None
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This spell is used to protect a cleric against becoming intoxicated when drinking, which is typically
unbecoming of the clergy. The alcohol ingested during the duration is mystically less effective. The cleric has
a +1 per two levels bonus to their Constitution check to resist becoming (more) intoxicated. Note that it is still
possible to become drunk while protected, but it is much more difficult.
The material components that are consumed at casting time are a raw chicken egg, a red pepper, a chile
pepper, and a pint of spring water.
Speed Fermentation (Alteration)
Level: 2
Sphere: Nature (Druidic)
Range: 3 feet + 1 foot per level
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 2 feet X 2 feet of volume + 2 feet per level
Save: None
By the use of this spell, a Druid may speed the fermentation process of any naturally fermentable vegetable
matter (i.e. grapes, potatoes, wheat, etc.). Within one hour all the contents in the container will be completely
fermented as if the full year or whatever the necessary time period was had passed. The Druid must be careful
to make sure that all other preparations have been made to hold the newly fermented liquid. There must be
vats, bottles and anything else that is necessary for the preservation of the Alcohol.
The Druid must already know the time necessary to ferment the grapes or whatever and the alcohol making
processes before casting this spell (i.e. the character must have a proper non-weapon skill).
The material component is the Druids knowledge and a small percentage of the fermented material.
Protection from Intoxication (Abjuration)
Level: 4
Sphere: Protection
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 12 hours
Area of Effect: Personal
Save: None
This spell will make the caster immune to the negative effects of alcohol. While protected, alcoholic drinks
will not intoxicate the priest in the slightest way, and no side effects of alcohol will be incurred from drinking.
Note that this is really unfair to use in a drinking contest! Poisons or other substances in the drink will still
affect the priest normally, however. Taste is not affected.
The material components consumed at casting time are a 6 chicken eggs. The other material components is
a pink flamingo feather.
Transmute Water to Wine (Alteration) Reversible
Level: 6
Sphere: Elemental (Water)
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: 1 cubic yard/level
Save: Special
53
This spell allows a cleric to show his dedication to his/her deity. When successfully cast, this spell turns any
palatable water into wine (of the cleric's choice) of the highest quality. Salt water or containment water gets a
save. Detect magic spells may (50% chance) show it to have a very dim glow.
Only a truly dedicated cleric will be allowed to cast this spell, and frivolous castings of it may incur the
wrath of superior beings. Proper conditions to be met are:
· The cleric's deity will be honored by this act.

· The act should be used to help recruit influential persons to the deity's cause.
· If more worshipers/believers may be drawn to the deity through this act, so much the better!
· Certain ceremonies may use this to celebrate the divinity of the deity.
Zone of Tolerance (Abjuration) Reversible
Level: 6
Sphere: Protection
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 24 hours
Area of Effect: 12" radius area
Save: Special
This spell is used by a cleric to create an area in which alcohol has a diminished effect on creatures. Any
being who enters the area must make a save vs. spell to overcome the compulsion to NOT drink. Creatures
who enter the area already intoxicated will have their level of intoxication reduced by 1 level (note that this
sobers up those who are Slightly intoxicated). Constitution checks made in the area are unmodified, no matter
what is being imbibed, thus making it more difficult to become drunk.
The reverse, Zone of Intoxication, creates an area in which alcohol is more effective than normal. Any
being entering the area must save vs. spells or be compelled to drink. Creatures entering the area will become
1 level more intoxicated than they were (not more than Greatly intoxicated, and sober creatures are unaffected
by this). Constitution checks are made at a -3 penalty, cumulative with other penalties, making it easier to
become drunk.
This spell is popular by clerics who assist temperance organizations. The reverse is popular amongst
business owners who enjoy the large consumption of alcohol. Of course, they must find clerics willing to help
the business. Most clerics will cast the spell for a small contribution to the church.
The material component of the spell is a sea sponge with a serving of alcohol sucked into it.
LOHOCLA'S TOME OF ULTIMATE CHAOS
APPEARANCE: This is a magical volume 12" long and 6" wide. Both covers and the spine of the book are
fashioned from a oiled cedar wood which possesses a deep golden-brown shine. On the inside is a spine made
of leather, glued to the wooden spine, to which are sewn the pages of high-quality vellum. The corners of the
cover are reinforced by silver corner caps. Silver hinges attach the covers to the spin, and both covers are
joined by a silver clasp with a lock.
The symbol of Lohocla, an ornamental "L" of gold is on the cover. The "L" is engulfed in beautiful vines,
wheat, barley, and other natural, agricultural resources of alcohol.
54
HISTORY AND DESCRIPTION: Lohocla has created many of these tomes and has distributed them across
the planes. The main recipients of such a grand prize are those mages with a great, if not excessive, fondness
for alcohol. Although there are many tomes, they are all identical except for a small serial number on the back
cover in the lower right hand corner.
PAGES:
Symbol Page (1 page)
The decorative symbol of Lohocla which appears on the cover fills this page. Once a person views the
symbol, he/she must make a save vs. poison or enter a state of comatose intoxication. Of course, this page is
intended to be a non-lethal defense mechanism.
Alcohol Information (50 pages)
These pages are an informative collection of knowledge on alcohol. The player should consult the
Introduction To Alcohol, Skill In Brewing, Skill In Wine-Making, Skill In Distilling, and Everything You
Ever Wanted To Know About Distilleries sections of The Complete Guide to AD&D Alcohol for examples of
the content.
A character with Intelligence of at least 12 that studies the information may take a non-weapon skill in
brewing, wine-making, or distilling if a NWP slot is available.
Information Transfer Pages (6 pages)
The first page of this section tells of Lohocla's plans to collect all the information in the known planes on
alcohol. This is followed by specific instructions. The instructions direct the mage to write any pertinent
alcohol information on the next five pages using normal ink. After the information is written, a magical
transfer takes place in an hour. All information on those 5 pages appear on magical scrolls in Lohocla's
possession. At his convenience, Lohocla examines the information and probably archives it. Depending on the
content, Lohocla may decide to follow up the information. He would be curious to sample a new alcohol
drink, visit a new and exciting tavern, or research a new alcohol spell mentioned in the information. The
information is wiped clean from the tome.
Spells
Level 1
Lohocla's Create Beer & Pretzels
Lohocla's Deadly Bottle Rockets
Lohocla's Enchanted Bartender & Staff
Level 2
Lohocla's Drunken Memory Teleport
Lohocla's Monster Summoning 1/2 Pint
Level 3
Lohocla's Aqua Vitae
Lohocla's Fire Flow
Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport
Level 4
Lohocla's Cloud of Alcohol
Lohocla's "Shaken Not Stirred"
Level 5
Lohocla's Mother-of-All-Burps
Lohocla's Create Beer & Pretzels (Alteration)
Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
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Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1 turn
Save: None
Lohocla didn't want clerics to be the only spell casters able to create food. Unfortunately, the results might not
be as nourishing as a cleric's food and water. However, Lohocla's beer and pretzels have their benefits.
When this spell is cast, the mage causes beer and pretzels to appear. For every level of the mage, a quart of
beer is created and a half-pound of pretzels. The pretzels come in a wide variety of sizes and types. The beer
is of excellent quality and quite filling.
The beer becomes flat and the pretzels become stale in 24 hours, although they can be restored for another
24 hours by a purify spell of some sort.
The material components of the spell is a pinch of salt and a pinch of hops.
Lohocla's Deadly Bottle Rockets (Evocation)
Level: 1
Range: 50 yards + 10 yards/level
Components: V, M
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 or more creatures in 25-foot cube
Save: None
This spell was created by Lohocla or at least commissioned by him. Lohocla wanted to give a gift(?) back to
those mages who have supported him in the past. This spell is bizarre in that a person must be intoxicated to
use. Lohocla has a unique concept of magic and the best way to wield it. Yet, this may be a benefit because
this eccentric spell allows the mage to cast at low-level, a powerful and damaging (possibly dangerous)
rockets at its opponents even though his current ability is poor because the intoxication.
The material components of this spell are a bottle of alcohol (any type) and a 1-foot long smooth stick that
can fit into the bottle with one end sticking out.
An unusual spell indeed, this spell cannot be cast unless the caster is under the influence of alcohol (i.e. in
a state of slight, moderate, or great intoxication). Of course, the mage generally doesn't go adventuring while
drunk, so this becomes a big hindrance if not useless. On the other hand, it can be a real benefit when the
mage goes to a place knowing full well that he will become intoxicated. Mainly, because the % of spell
failure does not exist in the case of this spell (note that the chance of spell failure is still there for all other
spells). This becomes very valuable because the mage can get intoxicated, with all the problems it entails, and
always have a memorized spell that will work (especially when greatly intoxicated when the % chance of
spell failure is 100%).
When the mages casts the spell, he must take a swig of alcohol from the bottle, place the stick in the bottle,
and then aim the bottle at its target which all takes place while saying the magical words.
Once the spell is cast, 2 per-level sparkling rockets of magical energy fly out of the bottle with a ear
piercing whistle to unerringly strike their target(s) with a dazzling display of colors (see below). This includes
enemy creatures in a melee. The target creature must be seen must be seen otherwise detected to be hit,
however, so near-total concealment, such as that offered by arrow slits, can render the spell ineffective.
Likewise, the caster must be able to identify the target. He cannot direct a rocket to "strike the captain of the
guard," unless he can single out the captain from the rest of the soldiers. Specific parts of a creature cannot be
singled out. Inanimate objects (locks, etc.) cannot be damaged by the spell, and the rockets disperse with no
effect.
Very fascinating, the damage a rocket does is dependent on the state of intoxication the mage is in. If in a
state of slight intoxication, each rocket will do 1d4+1 points of damage. If in a state of moderate intoxication,
each rocket will do 1d8+1 points of damage. If in a state of great intoxication, each rocket will do 1d12+1
points of damage. This is possibly the only instance where being more intoxicated is a benefit in combat.
When a rocket hits a target, a spray (5' X 10' X 10' wedge) of vivid multiple colors spring forth from the
impact spot. Usually, the color splash is harmless but dazzling. There is a 1% chance per level of the caster
that the color slash will be harmful. If harmful, then from one to six creatures (1d6) within the area are
affected in order of increasing distance from the target. All creatures above the level of the mage and all those
of 6th level or 6 hit dice or more are entitled to a save vs. spell. Blind or unseeing creatures are not affected
by the spell. Creatures not allowed or failing saves, and whose hit dice or levels are less than or equal to the
mage's level, are struck unconscious for 2d4 rounds; those with hit dice or levels 1 or 2 greater than the
mage's level are blinded for 1d4 rounds; those with hit dice or levels 3 or more greater than that of the mage
are stunned (reeling and unable to think or act coherently) for one round.
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Lohocla's Enchanted Bartender & Staff (Conjuration/Summoning)
Level: 1
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 hour / level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 40-foot radius
Save: None
Lohocla created this spell for a tavern owner, who happened to be a retired adventurer mage, that was having
business trouble. Lohocla gave him 100 gold pieces, bestowed the bartending NWP on him, taught him an
abundance of alcohol drinks, gave him the spell, and cast a permanency spell on an enchanted bartender to
serve the mage as a main bartender. The spell is not one normally studied by adventuring mages but is often
used by retired adventurers and other sedentary types.
This specialized version of the unseen servant was developed with one particular task in mind - bartending
and barkeeping. The enchanted bartender and staff are magical forces under the control of the mage.
The main power of the spell creates an enchanted bartender. It can perform simple barkeeping actions like
making, serving, and doctoring drinks; wiping the bar; cleaning dirty drinking vessels; filling snack bowls;
etc..
The enchanted bartender can only make mixed drinks that the mage himself has prepared at some point in
his life. Hopefully, the mage has the bartending non-weapon skill so that his enchanted bartender can make
perfect drinks.
Every three levels, the mage can create an enchanted barmaid to assist the enchanted bartender. Thus at
level 3 the mage can create one barmaid, at level 6 the mage can create two barmaids, at level 9 the mage can
create three barmaids, etc.. An enchanted barmaid cannot mix drinks like the enchanted bartender. An
enchanted barmaid can perform simple barmaid actions like serving drinks and snacks, wiping off tables,
sweeping up messes, etc..
Every six levels, the mage can create an enchanted bouncer. Thus at level 6 the mage can create one
bouncer, at level 12 the mage can create two bouncers, at level 18 the mage can create three bouncers, etc..
An enchanted bouncer serves only one purpose: to expel disorderly persons (with the exception of the mage of
course) in a bar/tavern setting. An enchanted bouncer has a Strength of 18/1d100, a Dexterity of 18, and a
number of hit points equal to the mages. If an enchanted bouncer is given resistance, he proficiently attacks
with non-lethal combat such as punching and wrestling. GMs must be sure that the player does not abuse an
enchanted bouncer's power. It is only created to expel disorderly people in a bar/tavern setting, not to enter the
mage's combative battles while adventuring.
The enchanted bartender and staff with the exception of the bouncers are no stronger then an unseen
servant and no more dextrous than its creator. The enchanted bartender and staff can be left to do their duties
on their own. If something disrupts the smooth flow of their routine (such as the arrival of Tiamat), the staff
will go to the enchanted bartender who will seek the advice of its creator.
All creations may be dispelled by the caster at will. Also, an enchanted bartender or any staff other than
the bouncers can be dispelled by taking 6 points of damage from the area of effect attacks such as breath
weapons, explosions, etc.. A dispel magic spell will get rid of everybody.
The material components of this spell are a block of birch wood and some string.
Lohocla's Drunken Memory Teleport (Alteration)
Level: 2
Components: V
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 2 segments
Save: Reverses
Another gift of Lohocla's to strange mages this is the low-level sister spell to Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey
Teleport. Although it may seem quite powerful, it is not. The consequences of casting this spell are quite
dangerous, which will be mentioned later. Many first-level spells would be a much better pick, but some half-
crazed mages add this spell to their collection for a little random spontaneity.
When this spell is used, the mage is able to teleport a maximum weight of 250 pounds, plus additional 150
pounds for each level of experience above the 10th (a 13th-level mage can teleport up to 700 pounds), to a
randomly selected place. The place has an alcohol theme (i.e. inns, taverns, bars, wineries, breweries,
57
distilleries, vineyards, etc.) and is a location previously visited by the mage after receiving the spell. Thus, a
mage who just copied the spell into his spell book would have a non-functioning spell until he visited an
alcohol-related location. The player should make a table of all the locations and once the spell is cast, roll on
the table to see where the teleportees go to. The GM may opt to make the locations on the table be weighted
thus making the more frequently visited places become the target of the spell more often. The spell functions
by scanning the character's subconscious for those places in memory where alcohol or alcohol themes were
present.
Every living being or magical item gets a save, if desired (a person who wants himself and his belongings
teleported doesn't require a save). If the save is successful, the mage and any comrades/friends (the spell scans
the mage's mind to see who should accompany the spell) are teleported instead as long as everybody's weight
is under the maximum weight able to be teleported. It is the GM's decision who gets teleported with the mage
if everybody can't be teleported because of the weight restriction.
Because the spell can be reversed and that the spell uses the mage's memories, it can be very dangerous for
the mage if he uses it against enemies. Mainly, the spell sends the enemies to the establishments that the mage
visited and if the mage ever returns to these places, the people there will probably be quite upset. The best use
of the spell is to cast it on himself and the his comrades so they will be teleported to the places. Of course, if
there are hostile places that they can be teleported to, then they could be in an even worse situation. Also, not
to many adventuring parties will want to chance leaving in the middle of an adventure because of this spell.
Unlike its sister spell, Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport, this spell permanently teleports the teleportees to
the location.
Why such a low level spell? Without reiterating the dangers of the spell's reverse ability, randomness, and
the level of relative spells (i.e. Teleport, Teleport without Error); the best argument is based on spell and
mage level. It is a fact that a high level spell can only be utilized by a high level mage. It is assumed that a
high level mage will have high level opponents. High level opponents will have a good chance of making
their saves, thus rendering the spell reversible. Thus, as a mage goes up in level, this spell becomes
progressively useless. If the spell has a high level that only high level mages can take, it would not see much
use. However, if the spell has a low level that can be utilized by low level mages, it would have use (at a high
risk) for a time.
Before a player or GM doesn't give this spell a chance, just remember that nothing can be more nostalgic
then high-level characters being teleported to a tavern they once visited when they were first level. Plus, GMs
can dig out the old information that they thought they would never use again.
Lohocla's Monster Summoning 1/2 Pint (Conjuration/Summoning)
Level: 2
Range: 20 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 rounds + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 2
Save: None
This chaotic spell is respectfully named for the Guardian of Alcohol Lohocla. Actually the spell was created
by a mage, with a fondness for booze, who wanted to pay tribute to the "King" with a powerful low-level
spell. When Lohocla found out about this tribute, the mage was lavishly rewarded with many bottles, barrels,
and jugs of excellent wine, beer, ale, and mead. They became quick bar buddies with a hefty tab. Anyhow, the
spell isn't as grand and powerful as it may seem. Although the spell can give great rewards, it can equally
cause as much trouble. Thus, it is a low level spell that few mages would add to their collection. Only the
foolish of mages take such an unpredictable spell. Luckily most adventurers are foolish.
Within one round of casting this spell, the mage magically conjures a monster or monsters that have a
relationship to alcohol (no matter how minute). Roll on the Table A to see what monster(s) are summoned.
When a mage reaches 9th level, he may at his option modify the die roll by 1 thus giving him a choice of
three monsters. Thus a 9th level mage rolls a 2. He can now decide to summon a St. Bernard dog (2), Throat
Leach (1=2-1), or Clydesdale horse (3=2+1).
Every four levels, the mage can get an extra roll on the table if he wants. Thus at level 5 the mage gets two
rolls, at level 9 the mage gets three rolls, at level 13 the mage gets four rolls, etc..
TABLE A: Monster(s) Summoned (1d100 / 3 rounding up)
Die No. Frequency

Roll Monster Appearing Found In & Hit Die
1 Throat Leach 1d6 FF 88 comm 1hp
2 Dog, Saint Bernard 1 Alcohol Guide comm 2+2
3 Horse, Clydesdale 1 Alcohol Guide comm 3+3
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4 Leprechaun 1d20 MC2 unco 2-5hp
5 Satyr 2d4 MC1 unco 5
6 Boozeword 1d2 Alcohol Guide rare 2hp
7 Sprite 10d10 MC1 rare 1hp
8 Oozes, Crystal 1d2 MC1 rare 4
9 Centaur, Sylvan 1d8 MC1 rare 4
10 Milwaukee 1 Alcohol Guide rare 5
11 Succubus 1 MCOuter Planes rare 6
12 Mold, Brown 1 patch MC2 very -
13 Alcohol Hummingbird 1 Alcohol Guide very 2hp
14 Alchemy Plant 1 MC9 Spelljamer2 very 1
15 Skeleton, Yo-Ho-Ho 3d10 Alcohol Guide very 1+2
16 Ants, Red Alcohol 1d100 Alcohol Guide very 2-3
17 Ants, Black Alcohol 1d100 Alcohol Guide very 2-3
18 Gremlin, Fremlin 1d4 MC Greyhawk very 3+6
19 Horse, Volatilis Clyde. 5d10 Alcohol Guide very 4
20 Horse, Pravus Clydesdale 1d20 Alcohol Guide very 5
21 Dragon, Kodragon 1 MC DragonLance very 5
22 Korred 1d4 MC1 very 6+1
23 Elephant, Pink 1d12 Alcohol Guide very 11
24 Luch 1 Alcohol Guide very 11+
25 Alcohol Dragon 1 Alcohol Guide very 13+
26 REROLL on Table A with -1 cumulative to the die roll
29 ROLL twice on Table A ignoring rolls greater than 24
30 ROLL thrice on Table A ignoring rolls greater than 24
31 Special: ROLL on Table B
TABLE B: Special (1d100)
Die No. Frequency

Roll Monster Appearing Found In & Hit Die
01-15 Malus Succubus (avatars) 1d2 AG (Malus) very 6
16-30 The Wines (avatars) 1 AG (Vinumus) very
31-45 Boozies (avatars) 1d12 AG (Ebrietas) very 15
46-60 Swissyries (avatars) 6 AG (Excitarus) very 15
61-70 Excitarus' dogs (minions) 4 AG (Excitarus) uniq 10ea
71-75 Berry & Grape (minions) 2 AG (Vinumus) uniq 15ea
76-80 Seltzer (human) 1 AG (Ebrietas) uniq 7
81-90 The Guardian Of Alcohol 1 AG uniq
91-95 Bartles & James (gods) 1 AG (Vinumus) uniq
96 Ebrietas (god) 1 AG (Ebrietas) uniq
97 Malus Temulentia (god) 1 AG (Malus) uniq
98 Vinumus (god) 1 AG (Vinumus) uniq
99 Excitarus (god) 1 AG (Excitarus) uniq
00 Special: ROLL on Table C
TABLE C: Special II (1d30)

59
Die
Roll Result
01-05 REROLL on Table B with -10 cumulative to the die roll
21-22 ROLL 2x on Table B
27 ROLL 5x on Table B and duck because the shit will hit the fan
28 The mage may choose his force from Table A
29 The mage may choose his force from Table B; no gods
30 The GM should reward such great dice rolling with a wish or some great item of alcohol nature. Then
he should have the dice checked to see if they are really that good.
Any rolls equal to or less than 0 are equal to 1.

The monsters, or monster if only one was summoned, appear in an area within the spell range, as desired by
the mage. If the monster is from Table A, roll on Table D to see how the monster or monsters will react.
TABLE D: Monster(s) Reactions (1d12)
01-06 They attack the spell caster's opponents to the best of their ability until either he commands that the
attacks cease, the spell duration expires, or the monsters are slain. If no opponent exists to fight,
summoned monsters can, if a wizard can communicate with them and if they are physically able,
perform other services for the summoning mage.
07-10 They attack the spell caster and his comrades to the best of their ability until the spell duration
expires, or the monsters are slain.
11-12 They act independently of the spell caster and will act according to intelligence, alignment, morale,
and the GMs wishes.
The creatures vanish when slain. Creatures from 1 and 2 do not check morale.
The material components of this spell are a tiny bag, a small candle (not necessarily lit), and a 1/2 pint of pure
grain alcohol.
Lohocla's Aqua Vitae (Necromancy)
Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 9
Area of Effect: Creature touched
Save: None
The great magic of healing is not limited to those medic clerics that roam with adventuring parties. Lohocla
bestows the art of healing to mages through this spell.
Known to some as the "Water of Life", this spell's healing powers begin once the mage anoints the injured
person with alcohol. The alcohol may be of any type (i.e. beer, wine, liquor, etc.) but must be a minimum of
100 years old (i.e. created at least a century ago). When anointing the injured person, the mage must have
physical contact with the victim (i.e. touch him).
After the spell is cast, it causes 1d8 + 1 for every level of the mage points of wound or other injury damage
to the creature's body to be healed. This healing cannot affect creatures without corporeal bodies, nor can it
cure wounds of creatures not living or of extraplanar origin.
Curing is permanent only insofar as the creature does not sustain further damage; caused wounds will heal
- or can be cured - just as any normal injury.
This spell along with the permanency spell and a few other magicks can be used to make a healing potion.
Unlike the cleric's healing potions, this mage's potion has the taste and effects of wine. An exciting concept
indeed.
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Lohocla's Fire Flow (Alteration)
Level: 3
Range: Special
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 3
Save: None
After the mage casts this spell, a stream of flaming alcohol shoots out in a straight line from his clenched fist.
The mage can move the stream 90 degrees per round. Thus given 4 rounds, the mage can cover 360 degrees,
i.e. engulf his surroundings.
The amount of flaming alcohol is dependent of the mage's level. A 5th level mage casts a "stream", a 5'
long stream, at a rate of 5 gallon per round. A 7th level mage casts a "fountain", a 10' long stream, at a rate 10
gallons per round. A 9th level mage casts a "geyser", a 20' long stream, at a rate 25 gallons per round. A mage
has the option of producing a less potent flow. For example, a 9th level mage is able to cast a geyser but may
opt to cast a fountain or stream.
When any creature comes in contact with the burning alcohol, it suffers 1d4 points of damage, plus 1 point
of damage for each level of experience of the mage.
The liquid will remain for the duration of the spell doing 2 points of damage each round. Flammable
materials touched by the liquid burn. Things burning can be extinguished in the next round after the spell ends
if no other action is taken. "Stop, Drop, and Roll."
The mage's movement is quartered for the duration of the spell. Also, he may not perform any other
actions except aiming the flow. The mage may not stop the flow of the flaming alcohol, only the ending of the
spell will do this.
The material components of the spell are a bar of lye soap, a pint of pure alcohol, and a flame from any
source.
Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport (Alteration)
Level: 3
Components: V
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 2 segments
Save: Reverses
Lohocla wanted to help mages escape from dire situations or get rid of their enemies very quickly.
Unfortunately the spell tries to do both which lends itself to chaos and tends to accomplish the wrong solution.
The disorder of this spell presents itself in many ways, as most of Lohocla's spells do. This spell isn't the most
powerful spell (although it may seem so), mainly because it has a big chance of backfiring. It might get the
mage and his comrades out of trouble, but it could give them some new problems.
When this spell is used, the mage is able to teleport a maximum weight of 250 pounds, plus additional 150
pounds for each level of experience above the 10th (a 13th-level mage can teleport up to 700 pounds), to a
randomly selected place.
Every living being or magical item gets a save, if desired (a person who wants himself and his belongings
teleported doesn't require a save). If the save is successful, the mage and any comrades are teleported instead
as long as everybody's weight is under the maximum weight able to be teleported. It is the GM's decision who
gets teleported with the mage if everybody can't be teleported because of the weight restriction.
Roll on Table A to see where the victims are teleported. The descriptions presented here are in terms as if
the characters were teleported. Why? Nobody cares what happens to other people who are teleported to these
locations. Players want to know what happens to their characters and GMs will be required to run a scenario
in the new location. Thus, the information is provided to assist GMs in a running a clever and humorous
scenario. The places presented here are ideas and suggestions from fiction and non-fiction of the past, present,
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and future. GMs should feel to modify the locations as he sees fit to better suit his knowledge (some
suggestions are give in the description). The better a GM knows a place, the better the characters' encounter
will be. Also remember: "Just go with the flow".
The duration of the spell is: 1d30 hours + 2d30 minutes + 2d30 seconds + 1 hour per level (Note: those that
aren't one of the elite group who have a 30-sider may substitute a 20-sider, but they are missing one of the
great treasurers of the RPG world). GMs may opt to decide the duration based on his plans for the characters
in the strange locations. GMs are encouraged to make these encounters exciting and unique. If the GM thrusts
the characters into an exciting plot in a bizarre environment, then the GM should not be constrained by the
spell's duration. The spell is intended to add thrills to PCs' adventuring career and a little fun for the GM's
hard work.
Why such a low level spell? Without reiterating the dangers of the spell's reverse ability, randomness, and
the level of relative spells (i.e. Teleport, Teleport without Error); the best argument is based on spell and
mage level. It is a fact that a high level spell can only be utilized by a high level mage. It is assumed that a
high level mage will have high level opponents. High level opponents will have a good chance of making
their saves, thus rendering the spell reversible. Thus, as a mage goes up in level, this spell becomes
progressively useless. If the spell has a high level that only high level mages can take, it would not see much
use. However, if the spell has a low level that can be utilized by low level mages, it would have use (at a high
risk) for a time.
TABLE A: Locations (Roll 1d100 / 4 rounded up)
01. Dodge City Saloon in Dodge City, KA (1874, real world)
The characters find themselves, just outside the swinging doors of an old west saloon in Dodge City, or an
old west city the GM likes.
Great scenarios exist in the root-and-tooten wild west. Hopefully, the characters arrival will stir up a lot of
trouble with the outlaws, sheriffs, and other interesting folks.
The GM is referred to The Complete Guide To AD&D Technology and the Boot Hill RPG to assist in
handling old west situations.
02. Miriam's Place in Nepal (1936, Raiders of the Lost Ark)
Miriam's Place is a dive nestled deep in the cold mountains of Nepal. Miriam, inherited it from her father
Abner, an archaeologist. The adventurers can appear in the establishment before Indiana Jones or the Nazis
show up OR any time the GM wishes. Hopefully, the characters will tag along with Indiana Jones as he
searches for the Ark of the Covenant (treat as a powerful artifact).
If GMs want to allow characters to adventure with Indiana, then he should watch the movie and take some
serious notes. It will be worth it, even though the players have probably seen the movie.
GMs may want Indiana to go back to the characters' world as an exciting NPC or new player character.
03. Rosie's Bar or The Officer's Club at MASH 4077 in Korea (1950-1953, MASH television show)
The characters find themselves in one of the local bars of the MASH 4077. The GM can put them in any
time with the old or new cast. Many exciting scenarios exist with this mad-capped crew. Frank Burns can
capture the characters as the enemy. Hot lips can be attracted to one of the charismatic characters.
The GM should consider picking his favorite episode and drop the characters in the middle of it. "5:00
Charlie".
04. Schott's Brewing Company in Milwaukee, WS (1950s, Laverne and Shirley)
The characters find themselves in the middle of the Milwaukee Brewing company surrounded by bottles
traveling on conveyor belts and lots of other machinery. Two young workers, Laverne and Shirley, are nearby
working. Of course, Laverne and Shirley will have to get involved with the characters, possibly even asking
one of them out for a date (a good way to see the 20th century city).
GMs should watch the television show to see some of the mad-capped adventures they can get into if they
stick with Laverne, Shirley, Lenny, and Squiggy.
05. The Regal Beagle in Los Angeles, CA (1980s, Threes Company)
The characters find themselves in a corner booth of a small pub. Sitting nearby by are Jack, Janet, and
Chrissy (or Terry). Across the room is Larry picking up a women. The Ropers (or Mr. Firley) are also in the
pub.
Many exciting plots can develop if the characters interact with the people. Of course, it should be based on
a huge misunderstanding,
GMs should watch the television show to see how goofy everybody acts. Hopefully, GMs won't go crazy
watching the show.
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06. The Pacific Princess cruise ship some where on the Pacific Ocean (1980s, The Love Boat)
Possibly one of the worst encounters, the characters find themselves at the bar by the pool or in the Pirate's
Cove on the Pacific Princess cruise ship better known as the Love Boat. Of course, the first person they meet
will be big-grinned Issac Washington the chief bartender. Other ship's crew are Julie Mccoy, Gopher, the good
doctor, and the captain.
Hopefully, the characters won't be considered stowaways and can interact with everybody. All kinds of
people can be passengers on the ship so the GM may go nuts with interaction. Please don't let Charo on.
07. Alcohol Anonymous Meeting, anywhere (present, real world)
The characters find themselves outside a door which has "AA" on it. If they enter, the characters see a
bunch of people who are discussing their alcohol problem. They openly welcome the characters who must
have a problem given their strange appearance and behavior.
08. The Boar's Nest in Hazzard County, GA (present, The Dukes of Hazzard)
The characters find themselves outside of a grey wood building with a Boar's Nest sign. There are some
interesting motor vehicles in the dirt parking lot: a orange "racing" car with a 01 on the side and a confederate
flag on top, a long white convertible with a bull horn on the hood, a nice-looking jeep with a golden eagle on
the hood and "Dixie" written on the side, a old white pick-up truck, a tow-truck, and two beat-up police cars.
If they enter the building, the characters find a country bar. Among the patrons are Uncle Jesse, Bo and
Luke (or sadly Coy and Vince), Crazy Cooter, Enos, Cledos, and the sexy long-legged Daisy waiting tables in
her oh-so-tight shorts. In a back room can be found Boss Hogg and Roscoe.
Oh boy, the many scenarios in Hazzard is unreal. The characters could get hired by Boss Hogg for a
mischief task. They could help the Dukes stop Boss Hogg and Roscoe do something terrible. They could get
the Duke Boys out of trouble. And of course, everybody will want to become Daisy Duke's love interest.
Personally, somebody should beat up Enos, that sissy hillbilly. Whatever scenario the GM creates, it should be
based around the moonshine business.
The GM should definitely have a hide speed car chase with all the jumps. The GM should also watch the
show over and over again to really get the feel of Hazzard County.
09. Bush Gardens Amusement Park in Williamsburg, VA (present, real world)
The characters find themselves riding on the Loch Ness Monster Roller Coaster, or another exciting ride.
Hopefully, the characters can survive the ride and tour the amusement park and the brewery.
The characters, dressing as adventurers usually do, will find themselves be approached by the tourists
thinking that they (the characters) are part of the attraction ("Look honey, get a picture of little Albert with the
medieval mage"). The only way the characters can get American currency is to sell their gold, silver, copper,
and platinum pieces to the tourists (GMs should be stingy in this regard, as the tourists would be). Hopefully,
the character will buy some souvenirs after obtaining some cash.
As the advertisement states: "Come. See. Conquer!"
10. Cheers Bar in Boston, MA (present, Cheers)
"Where everybody knows your name, and your friends they're glad you came...". That's right, the
characters are in the famous Cheers bar with all the staff and patrons: Sam Malone, Norm, Cliff, Frazier,
Carla, Rebecca or Diane, Woody or Coach. A GM should pick a favorite episode of the television show and
thrust their characters in the middle of it.
Many possible scenarios can take place in the bar. Their clothes alone allows Carla to insult the characters'
wardrobe, Diane to belive the characters are a theater group and request a performance, Frazier to try and help
them mentally, Norm and Cliff to accept them as long as they get a beer from them.
11. The Corner Cafe in Lavale, MD (present, real world)
The Corner Cafe is in the Country Club Mall. This is a typical mall bar and GMs should feel free to change
this to a bar in a familiar mall.
The main point of this encounter is to get the characters into a mall. If they can get a hold of some money
and try to fit in, then they can have tons of fun shopping. Of course, interaction with the mall rent-a-cops
would be fun as well.
12. HammerJacks in Baltimore, Maryland (present, real world)
The characters pop in amongst a large wild crowd in the ultimate heavy metal bar. The characters will
mostly go unnoticed because everybody here is weird.
Cans of warm beer for only $3.75 and drinks in plastic cups (glass is dangerous) for even larger prices can
be bought. Overflowing toilets, sinks, and garbage cans are in the bathroom. But most importantly, the GM
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should have his favorite heavy metal (or close to heavy metal) group on stage with more groups to come. If
the GM can't come up with one, have Guns N' Roses preforming when the characters arrive. Then Metallica
and then Skid Row can perform. What a night, as long as the characters don't get drunk and pass out.
This can lead to many exciting encounters, especially if the characters can get a hold of the 20th century
technology, i.e. the electric guitar.
13. Improv Comedy Club, Los Angeles, CA (present, real world)
The characters find themselves in the back of a dark bar. There is a stage in the front on which is a person
performing comedy. A waitress asks the characters if they would like to be seated now and then takes there
drink orders.
This encounter is a great place for the GM to do a comedy routine if that is his forte. Hopefully, the GM
will at least put well known comics on stage like Dennis Miller.
14. Mo's Tavern in Springfield, U.S.A. (present, The Simpsons)
The characters find themselves in the cartoon world of The Simpsons. What can be more exciting then
being a cartoon. They get to meet Mo, Homer, Barney, and the rest of the drunks.
The GM is referred to the Toon RPG to make this experience a memorable one.
15. The Nudy Bar in Paw Paw, WV (present, real world)
The GM can make this a strip bar nearest (and maybe even familiar) to the GM. If the GM is not familiar
with such things, then it will be a bar in a hick town in West Virginia.
The characters find themselves in the back of the Paw Paw, WV nudy bar. The bar is packed with loud,
obnoxious hillbillies whaling and slobbering over naked, tattooed, scarred, somewhat-attractive women. Very
few people will notice the oddness of the characters do to the floor show.
16. The Safehouse in Milwaukee, WS (present, real world/James Bond movies)
Characters find themselves outside a fairly nondescript cream brick building. The Safehouse is just south
of the Windham hotel on Water Street. There is a deli on the north side of the building, and a restaurant on the
west side overlooking the Milwaukee river. This is a secretive bar visited by men of government and
specifically spies.
Walking up to the east side of the building, there is a stairway leading up to a very simple door. The
characters would assume that it is just a warehouse door, except for the sign which says "International
Exports" (the name of the cover-company James Bond worked for).
There is the main bar, and the "American Bar" in the safehouse, along with a restaurant. Message tubes
pass orders from the bars to the restaurant. The food is excellent, so popular the owners decided to open the
deli on the north side of the building (which is an alternative entrance) which serves the same food during the
day. There is a hologram "kissing booth" where a animated hologram woman blows a kiss for a quarter, an
immense sliding wall puzzle in the restaurant, and a few other surprises. There is many exciting arcade games
like Strategic Nuclear War, Star Wars, Spy Hunter, etc.. Waitresses tend to be in elaborate states of dress and
undress. The specialty drink of the house is Spy's Demise.
GMs are encourage to load up the Safehouse with spies and government men from television, movies, or
the real world.
17. Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh, PA (present, real world)
The GM can make this any baseball stadium he desires. Three Rivers Stadium is used here because of
Pittsburgh having the Iron City Brewery.
The characters find themselves in the stadium. They can be in the stands, in the dugout, on the field. A
great scenario is to have the characters appear in a vendor uniforms with coolers filled with Iron City beer.
18. Paul Masons Winery San Jose, CA (present, real world)
Players get stuck in a tour group at the winery. During the tour they see modern wine making in action and
then get sent to the wine tasting room for a little nip.
19. Cantina on the planet Tatooine (future, Star Wars)
The characters have entered a bar in a galaxy, far, far away. They are in the bar made famous in the Star
Wars movie. GM's can have the players enter the bar at the same time Ben Kanobi and Luke Skywalker are
trying to get Han Solo to fly them off the planet OR the GM can have them appear at any time during the Star
Wars Trilogy (or anytime during a Star Wars RPG campaign).
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Characters won't be out of place in a location filled with a multitude of strange races. They could mistake
everything for some Spelljamming place (if familiar with spelljamming) until they see all the non-magical
technology (laser guns, space ships, etc.).
Great interaction can exist with interaction between the characters and the Star Wars personalities. Clever
GMs can redo the Star Wars movies with the characters tagging along with Han and Luke.
20. Ten Forward on the Enterprise (future, Star Trek: The Next Generation)
The characters find themselves in Ten Forward on the starship Enterprise. Unfortunately, the "Intruder
Alert" alarm has been set off by the characters. At this time, the characters will surrounded by ship's security.
Possibly, Guiana may realize that the characters are from another time and place (possibly another dimension)
and will interrupt to save their hides.
For high-level characters, the GM may want to have the Borg attacking the ship at the time of their arrival.
21. The Promenade on Deep Space 9 (future, Star Trek: Deep Space 9)
The characters find themselves on the promenade of the Deep Space 9 space station. Quark, the local
proprietor of Quark's Place in the Promenade, greets the characters and tries to sell them many goods and
services.
Visit the holo-sweet? Interact with the Starfleet officers? Maybe the borg are attacking the station?
22-25 Reroll
Lohocla's Cloud of Alcohol (Evocation/Alteration)
Level: 4
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 4
Area of Effect: 5 cubic feet / level
Save: None
Another powerful offensive spell by Lohocla, this spell creates a vaporous cloud of pure alcohol. Hopefully,
many mages will enjoy reeking havoc with the sweet aroma of this spell.
This spell produces a cloud of alcohol that has a very faint blue tint to it. The cloud gives off a strong scent
of alcohol.
The cloud will move away from the caster at 10 ft. per round, rolling along the ground in the original
direction dictated by the caster. A moderate breeze causes it to alter course (roll for direction), but it does not
move back toward the caster. A strong wind breaks it up in four rounds, and a greater wind force prevents the
use of the spell. Very thick vegetation will disperse the cloud in two rounds. As the vapors are heavier than
air, they sink to the lowest level of the land, even pour down den or sinkhole openings. It cannot penetrate
liquids, nor can it be cast underwater.
For each round a creature is engulfed in the cloud, he must make a Constitution check. The check has a
modifier relevant to the mage's level:
Mage's Level Constitution Modifier

07-08 -04
09-10 -05
11-12 -06
13-14 -07
15-16 -08
17-18 -09
19-20 -10
A successful check indicates that the creature holds his breath for that round and does not succumb to the
cloud's effects. A failed check indicates that the creature inhales a sufficient quantity of the gaseous vapors
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into the lungs. The effects of absorbing gaseous alcohol through the respiratory system rather than liquid
alcohol through the digestive system is quite dangerous. A person affected by the cloud enters a state of great
intoxication with all the effects that this entails. The affected person will remain intoxicated for 1d30 rounds
after the duration of the spell. Once the intoxication ends, the victim will be returned to a normal state (i.e.
does not have to slowly recover from the intoxication). The only possible reminder of the intoxication would
be a hangover effect (as per the rules) if a save vs. poison is failed.
If the cloud of alcohol comes in contact with a flame, it explodes. Anything in the cloud will suffer
2d10+10 points of burn damage. The explosion will reach out a number of feet equal to five times half the
mage's level. Anything that is in the explosion area of effect will suffer 1d10+5 points of burn damage. For
example, a 10th level mage casts the spell and creates a 50-cubic-foot cloud that comes in contact with a
candle flame. Anything in the cloud will take 2d10+10 points of burn damage. The explosion will reach
anything that is 25 feet away from the cloud which will suffer 1d10+5 points of burn damage. Unfortunately,
the mage was within 10 feet of the cloud and suffers 8 points of damage. With regards to the fiery explosion,
please note that flammable materials will continue to burn after the explosion takes place.
At 10th level, a mage has the option of igniting the cloud. If the mage opts to do this, casting time is 6
rounds. Upon completion of casting the spell, the cloud will travel its course until the last round of the spell's
duration. At this point, the cloud is ignited and explodes as described above.
At the very low temperature of -170 degrees Fahrenheit, the cloud of alcohol will freeze solid. There will
be few times that the mage would find himself in such a situation. However, the mage may find himself in a
situation where the temperature drops to below 0 degrees Fahrenheit. In this case, the cloud of alcohol will
begin to turn into liquid form. The spell is rendered virtually useless as far as it's combative intent goes.
However, the cold liquid form of alcohol may serve a more important purpose. A lot of pure, smooth alcohol
can be produced for consumption. This spell which seems to be nothing more than an offensive weapon could
perhaps enable alcohol production in places where grain can't be grown or where fermentation is difficult due
to weather/temperature. Thus, GM's may want to introduce this spell in an arctic climate as a creative way of
producing alcohol. Then, a player may or may not learn of the spell's full offensive potential.
Note that the cloud of alcohol disperse once the duration of the spell ends. However, any liquid or solid
forms of the alcohol will permanently remain after the spell ends.
The main material component is a finely-crafted glass snifter (a pear-shaped goblet with a narrow top)
which remains after the spell is cast. Other material components, which are consumed when the spell is cast,
are a pint of pure alcohol and a small ice cube. A mage using the ignition option must have a pinch of dung
from a Milwaukee.
Lohocla's "Shaken Not Stirred" (Alteration)
Level: 4
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 3 rounds + 1 round / level
Casting Time: 6
Area of Effect: 1 creature and 25' foot diameter
Save: Special
This spell causes two unrelated effects. The first is a local tremor of low strength that rumbles the ground
around the target. The shock lasts the duration of the spell. The small quake is dramatic and startling but does
not cause any harm or ill effects. It is intended to mislead victims into thinking the spell affects multiple
persons or a large area like the earthquake spell.
The danger of the spell is the second effect that is directed towards only one person/creature. The target of
the spell shakes violently for the duration of the spell. (Note that this affect is a separate action from the
quake.) The shaking renders the victim immobile (i.e. no movement, no combat, etc.). If a person/creature
touches the trembling victim at any time, then that person begins to shake as well for the remainder of the
spell. A trembling person suffers 1d4 points of damage per round. During the last round, a trembling person
must make a save. Failing the save causes the person to enter comatose state of intoxication for 1d6 hours.
Recovery from this state is as stated in the rules.
The main material component of this spell is a pint of a martini, a drink composed of gin (an alcoholic
liquor distilled from grain and flavored with juniper berries), vodka (an alcoholic liquid distilled from
fermented wheat or rye mash, corn, or potatoes), and dry vermouth (a white wine flavored with aromatic
herbs). Other material components are one olive with a slice of pimento (a mild-flavored red pepper) in it, and
the tail feather from a male chicken (a cocktail). All material components are consumed once the spell is cast.
Lohocla's Mother-of-All-Burps (Alteration)
Level: 5
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Range: 0
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: 10' X 50' X 50' wedge
Save: Special
Another odd spell supposedly from Lohocla. Like the spell Lohocla's Deadly Bottle Rockets, this spell
requires the caster to be intoxicated. Why the caster must be intoxicated is better understood with this spell
given its effect, but it is still a strange requirement. In any case, Lohocla put much power in this spell in hopes
that drunken mages can still kick some butt in bar-room brawls or anywhere else.
An unusual (and disgusting) spell, this spell cannot be cast unless the caster is under the influence of
alcohol (i.e. in a state of slight, moderate, or great intoxication). Of course, the mage generally doesn't go
adventuring while drunk, so this becomes a big hindrance if not useless unless the mage is an alcoholic. On
the other hand, it can be a real benefit when the mage goes to a place knowing full well that he will become
intoxicated. Mainly, because the % of spell failure does not exist in the case of this spell (note that the chance
of spell failure is still there for all other spells). This becomes very valuable because the mage can get
intoxicated, with all the problems it entails, and always have a memorized spell that will work (especially
when greatly intoxicated when the % chance of spell failure is 100%).
The burp is in the form of a strong fan-shaped puff of nauseous vapors (described later) originates from the
mage's mouth and moves in the direction he is facing. The force of this gust of wind (about 30 m.p.h.) is
sufficient to extinguish candles, torches, and similar unprotected flames. It causes protected flames -such as
those of lanterns- to dance widely and has a 5% chance per level of experience of the caster to extinguish even
such lights. It also fans large fires outward 1d6 feet in the direction of the wind's movement. It forces back
small flying creatures 1d6 X 10 yards and causes man-sized beings to be held motionless if attempting to
move against its force. It slows larger-than-man-sized flying creatures by 50% for one round. It blows over
light objects, disperses most vapors, and forces away gaseous or unsecured levitating creatures.
The burp doesn't have a nice fresh air scent. Instead, it contains nauseous vapors. Any creature caught
within the wedge must roll a successful save vs. poison or be reeling and unable to attack because of the
nausea for 1d10 rounds. Those who make a successful save are not effected.
Anybody caught in the wedge of wind may become deaf because of the burp. A person becomes totally
deaf and unable to hear any sounds. The victim is allowed a save vs. spell. An affected creature has a-1
penalty to its surprise rolls unless its other senses are unusually keen. Deafened spellcasters have a 20%
chance to miscast any spell with a verbal component.
Nonmagical objects of crystal, glass, ceramic, or porcelain, such as vials, bottles, flasks, jugs, windows,
mirrors, etc. caught in the burp's force are smashed into a dozens of pieces. Objects weighing more than one
pound per level of the caster are not affected, but all other objects of the appropriate composition must save
vs. crushing blow or be shattered. Crystalline creatures usually suffer 1d6 points of damage per caster level to
a max. of 6d6, with a save vs. spell for half damage.
Don't forgot to say "Excuse me" after the spell is over.
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POPULAR & STRANGE ALCOHOLS AMONGST THE

WORLDS
"You expect me to drink this swill?"
--- Anonymous
These popular and strange alcohol drinks are usually rare or very expensive, and therefore aren't found in
every establishment. Since, the larger settlement the better the chance that they can get their hands on these
exotic drinks, the chance of these drinks being available to customers is increased. If the GM wishes to have a
special drink added to the menu of an establishment, he/she should roll to randomly decide if a drink can be in
the establishment (Table 1, relative to the size of the settlement), roll to randomly decide what the drink is
(Table 2), or make the decisions instead.
TABLE 1: Chance of Special & Strange Drinks
Settlement Population Chance

Thorp 20-80 5%
Hamlet 100-400 10%
Village, Wych 600-900 20%
Town 1500-6500 50%
City 10000-60000 75%
TABLE 2: The Drinks (1d100 / 2 rounded up)
Roll Type
1 Absinthe
2 Aliant
3 BD 20 20 (Blink Dog 20/20)
4 Bloody Mary
5 Brindleberry Wine
6 Brown Mold Beer
7 Bush Light
8 Cragg's Flaming Twister
9 Dimech Beer
10 Dornakh
11 Dragon's Blood
12 Dragon's Breath
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13 Dwarven Jalepeno Wine
14 Dwarven Thrower
15 Dwutharian Brandy
16 Fire Beer
17 The Flaming Amigo
18 Gammonberry Wine
19 Glempe'
20 Green Slime Wine
21 Jagerbeir
22 Jolly Dwarf (J.D.)
23 Klatchian Coffee
24 Lycanthrope Moonshine
25 Mages' Brew
26 Minotaur Malt Liquor
27 Obliviax Wine
28 O.D.B.
29 Old One-Eye
30 Pulgue
31 Potion of Dwarven Pride
32 Red Righettini Fungus Beer
33 Rocgut
34 Sake
35 The Silver Wolf
36 Sparking Wine
37 Spelljamming PanGalactic GargleBlaster
38 Tiefling Iced Tea
39 The Utter Moron
40 Whimsy Wine
41 Yellow Mold Beer
42 Zombie Killer
43-50 ROLL AGAIN (room is left on the table for future additions)
Absinthe
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent
Description: An alcoholic liqueur flavored with wormwood, an aromatic plant that provides nice flavor and
color to absinthe. "Madness and death are not things to which I aspire." is a common saying to those that
refuse absinthe. Absinthe is highly toxic to the nervous system causing madness and death. Most regions make
absinthe illegal because of its great danger.
Game Effects: A character who becomes greatly intoxicated from absinthe must make a save vs. poison.
Failure cause insanity. Roll 1d10 on the following for the insanity:
1-7 Roll on Types of Insanity Table of your RPG rule book or check out The
Complete Guide to Sanity.
8-9 Roll on Insanities Table 1 in the Sexual Insanity section of The
Complete RPG Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.
10 The insanity is chosen by the GM.
Furthermore, the character's Amount Level becomes 8 and Drinking Level becomes 5.
If not healed by neutralize poison, heal, and cure disease then the character will find himself dead in 3d6
days.
Aliant
Type: Wine
Made By: Gnomes
Quality: Excellent
Description: A dry wine made by the gnomes of the Cairn Hills of Oerth. This wine is produced from berries
of the Alia plant, a plant exclusive to the Cairn Hills. Each Alia plant will produce at most a forth of a gallon
of berries. One hundred grams of berries will produce one gallon of Aliant.
After a laborious process, which is kept in strict secrecy by the Cairn gnomes, the blue wine is aged. The
longer the wine ages, the paler it gets, and the more dangerous it becomes.
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Game Effects: Any gnome can drink the stuff with impunity - it is a excellent, rare wine which they covet
above all others. Gnomes will not suffer the intoxicating effects of alcohol. To any non-gnome, Aliant is a
potent neuro-toxin. Any non-gnome drinking a cup of the wine will automatically go into a great level of
intoxication and will suffer the penalties as described in the rules.
BD 20/20 (Blink Dog 20/20)

Type: Wine
Made By: Humans
Quality: Normal
Description: Nicknamed "Blink Dog 20/20" by locals, BD 20/20 is touted by its 'connoisseurs' as "grape
squeezins with a kick". This less than remarkable wine is the poorman's drink (at only 5 cp per cup) of
Kynesboro, the small district in Karameikos where it is produced. Though the secret of its making has been
well kept by clans Beryl and Darnsen (thus BD), it is said to be a medium-dry white wine "enhanced" with a
particular combination of herbs and "other ingredients" found in the locale of Kynesboro town.
The manufacture of BD 20/20 takes only about 2 weeks, with average press-to-shelf time of one month. If
kept in well-sealed barrels and stored under proper conditions, the flavor will become stronger, and the
eventual effects more immediate.
Game Effects: Only when Great Intoxication is reached do the effects (and the significance of BD 20/20's
nickname) become apparent. When great intoxication is reached, the character drinking must save vs. his or
her Dexterity. Success results in no adverse effects THAT ROUND. A roll against Dexterity is required each
round that the character continues to drink. Failure to save results in the following effect: for 2d6 rounds,
objects in the character's gaze will seem to (but really don't) blink for a distance of 4d6 inches in a random (or
GM's chosen direction). This effect will probably be first noticed when the character reaches for his/her cup.
A direction table is given below, but GM's choice often lends more humor to the situation.
Random Blink Table (d10)

1 or 6 Forward (away from character)
2 or 7 Back (toward character)
3 or 8 Left
4 or 9 Right
5 or 10 Straight Up (most fun!)
This effect applies not only to small objects, but to doorways, and even (heh heh..) combat opponents. This
confers a -4 to hit and -2 to all saves while the effect lasts. The adverse effects of BD 20/20 last 2d6+1 rounds,
after which the character passes out. The effects do not occur if the character immediately stops drinking and
retires for a minimum of 5 hours. Of course, the character will remember nothing of his actions/escapades
while under the effects of BD 20/20... ("I did WHAT?!?!?!?!?")
Bloody Mary
Type: Liquor
Made By: Any
Quality: Excellent
Description: A very exotic and somewhat evil drink, a Bloody Mary contains strange, rare, and usually illegal
ingredients: pure tomato juice, rare Tabasco sauce (a spicy additive with the main ingredient being red
peppers), the blood of a virgin female, vodka.
Rumor has it that the Bloody Mary is the favored alcohol drink of vampires. Whether true or not, few pale-
skinned people will drink a Bloody Mary after dusk. No use raising any eyebrows and ensuing a lynch mob.
Game Effects: While not magical separately, the ingredients when combined to make a Bloody Mary creates
an odd magical effect. For every serving of a Bloody Mary consumed, the drinker has a cumulative 5%
chance of attracting a vampire. A check for attracting a vampire is made every hour until a vampire shows up
or the drinker becomes sober. Thus, after five servings of a Bloody Mary, there is a 25% chance of attracting a
vampire each hour. Of course, there is little to worry about if there is daylight out unless the drinker doesn't
sober up before dusk.
Brindleberry Wine
Type: Wine
Made By: Humans
Quality: Normal
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Description: This highly inspiriting wine make from the brindleberry is a favorite with males everywhere. It is
a powerful aphrodisiac, and can cause a complete lack of inhibitions in anyone imbibing it.
Game Effects: For every glass of wine drank, the drinker is likely to want and craze sexual contact a
percentage equal to his wisdom (cumulative).
Brown Mold Beer

Type: Beer (ale forms exist)
Made By: Humans, Dwarves
Quality: Normal
Description: Beer made from Brown Mold is usually safe to drink. There is nothing that can be considered
extremely dangerous about the mold once a Cure Disease spell has been cast on it. The beer has a strong
malted taste. What is special about this beer is that it is always cold 40 degrees Fahrenheit). This beer will
stay cold forever, even in the hottest climates. For this reason some tavern owners will keep some of the beer
and use it as a primitive form of refrigeration. For some reason when this mold is fermented it retains its cold
nature.
To make Brown Mold Beer, the brewery must obtain some live mold. This means finding a way to
transport the mold without it absorbing all the heat from whoever is transporting the mold. A container made
from the hide of Draco Rigidus Frigidus (White Dragon) would be the best. With enchanted hides from a
Winter Wolf being adequate. Before fermentation the mold must be killed. The most efficient way to kill the
mold is to cast a Cure Disease spell on it. Then the mold should ferment normally. The Cure Disease spell
should stop the cold absorption that allows the mold to grow. Sometimes if the spell does not work correctly
(25%) the liquid will freeze after it is poured from the bottle.
Game Effects: Normal.
Bush Light
Type: Beer
Made By: Elves
Quality: Excellent
Description: This light beer is the most popular beer amongst elven folk. In fact, this is considered the only
other acceptable alcoholic drink next to wine. The main reason for its popularity is that Bush Light tastes
great but is less filling.
Game Effects: Elves get a bonus of +3 to any intoxication checks when drinking Bush Light. Half-elves get a
+1 bonus. An elf or half-elf that drinks only Bush light will not suffer the effects of a hangover.
Cragg's Flaming Twister (#7)

Type: Liquor
Made By: Half-Ogre
Quality: Excellent
Description: A strange brew indeed created by Cragg, a crazy half-ogre bartender. Cragg is ugly and stupid
but incredibly strong. He had a successful adventuring career but has retired to become a part-time bartender.
Some refer to this drink as #7, a name given to it because no one has drunk more than seven Cragg's Flaming
Twisters in one sitting. This record is of course held by Cragg. (He was drunk out of his mind for days.)
The ingredients are as followed:
1 ounce whimsy water

3 drops troll's blood
0.5 ounces bourbon
0.5 ounces grain alcohol
1 ounce potion of speed
1 ounce potato liquor (vodka)
Game Effects: A system shock roll (separate from any other check made for drinking) is made each time a
drink is taken. A failed check means the imbiber falls flat on his face, smashed out of his mind for 2d6 hours,
and takes 1 point of damage per hour until a remove poison spell is cast on him or he wakes up. A successful
roll means he heals at twice his normal rate for 1-3 days. Only one drink (dose) has this beneficial effect at a
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time. Thus, a player can not misuse this item by letting the character continue to drink it and benefit by the
healing powers.
Dimech Beer
Type: Beer
Made By: Dwarves
Quality: Poor
Description: This potent beer was created by the dwarf Dimech who became quite fond of brewing.
Dimech kept one strapped under his neck like a Saint Bernard with a tube going thru his beard so he can
drink while anywhere with nobody seeing him. He discovered during a fireball one day, his beer is flammable
as it blew up under his chin. (He failed his critical check and due to the special circumstances his beard burnt
off.) Now "stubble" as he is affectionately called has a new weapon discovered by accident. He made a few
small casks for use in combat. He throws them as a cocktail, but it is so thick that it acts like napalm (1d10
points of damage per cask).
Game Effects: The beer is so potent that the any non-dwarf drinker must make a Constitution check or else
grimace and make an involuntary "Uckgh!" sound. If he fails, then another check must be made or he vomits.
The beer gets the drinker drunk fast. The Constitution check for intoxication is made with a -5 penalty
rather than a -1.
Dornakh
Type: Liquor
Made By: Goblins
Quality: Poor
Description: This liquor is a favorite of goblinkind and their half- breed kin who distill this most strange and
potent liquor. Civilized races view this drink as a distorted form of whiskey. It is dull red in color with a harsh
metallic aftertaste and a potent kick (alcohol content about 70%).
Basically it is whiskey flavored with blood, traditionally that of mountain eagles. It is reputed that some
distillers add other more sinister flavors.
Game Effects: The recovery time from intoxication is doubled due to the potency of this foul liquor.
Dragon's Blood
Type: Liquor
Made By: Dwarves
Quality: Normal
Description: The drink is said to have an interesting taste, similar to liquid fire. Ale quenches the burning
sensation somewhat, water makes it worse. The kicker to all of this is that it is highly intoxicating. One legend
describes a dwarf who was the only one who could handle the stuff because of having a supernatural tolerance
for alcohol (indeed that is all that she drank). However, four glasses of Dragon's Blood had her blind
staggering drunk.
Dragon's Blood costs 100 gp per glass and 1000 gp per bottle. The glasses it is served in are small shot
glasses, and the bottle is not very big. Usually the glasses and bottle are made of very dark glass.
Game Effects: After consuming one glass of Dragon's Blood, the consumer automatically goes into a state of
great intoxication. The cumulative penalty for the save vs. poison is -3 instead of -1. The cumulative chance
of permanently lowering constitution is 10% instead of 5%.
Dragon's Breath
Type: Liquor (Mixed)
Made By: Humans
Quality: Very Good
Description: A popular mixed drink at Red Dragon's Tavern was originally created by the tavern's owner
Bicardi. Bicardi is best known in other regions as the distiller of Bicardi's Rum 151. The 151 is derived from
the number of attempts it took Bicardi to perfect his rum. The main ingredient in Dragon's Breath is Bicardi's
Rum 151. Other ingredients are Tabasco (a spicy sauce) and hot apple cider (hard cider preferred).

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Dwarven Jalepeno Wine

Type: Wine
Made By: Dwarfs
Quality: Very Poor
Description: For Dwarven Jalepeno Wine, alcohol content is pretty high, somewhat like Port wine (about 18%
alcohol), and it is similar to drinking Tabasco sauce. The hard part of drinking the wine is getting it down.
One adventurer writes about his group and their encounter with this potent wine: "On our first time
meeting the dwarves we were asked if we wanted something to drink. The elf said yes, wine if possible. The
dwarves grinned and gave us each a glass of D.J. wine. The elf gulped in down with ease (rolled a "1" on his
check). The dwarves were very impressed, so impressed that they eventually adopted him as an honorary clan
member. That's right, an elf in a dwarven clan. Who would of thought. Anyhow, we were all given
complimentary bottles upon leaving. What a great time."
Game Effects: The character must make a Constitution check to get the first glass/drink down. If successful,
he/she never has to do so again. If it fails, he/she can not drink the stuff at that time. He/she can try again on
another occasion but must make the check with a cumulative -2 penalty.
Dwarven Thrower
Type: Liquor
Made By: Dwarves
Quality: Excellent
Description: The Dwarven Thrower (or just Thrower for Dwarves) is a mixture of several types of Dwarven
liquors. It is so popular that it is sold premixed in all establishments of those run by Dwarves. Some clans
even have a rite of passage that includes the Thrower.
Whenever a Dwarf comes of age many clans have a party. In some clans it is customary to have the
celebration by drinking many Throwers. Then the imbiber is quickly helped up and rushed outside. Many
clans believe that the quantity of the stomach's contents as well as the force and distance to which they are
flung are indicative to what station they will achieve and how long they will live. (YUCK !!!)
Game Effects: Any one drinking the Dwarven Thrower does not feel any effects as long as they are sitting
down. However, once they stand, the imbiber must make all checks as per effects table. The imbiber then
precedes to the appropriate state within 1-4 rounds. Upon reaching a great state of intoxication, Dwarves do
not need to make a save vs. poison. Instead, they have 1-6 rounds before they violently vomit. Other races
make normal checks per tables.
Dwutharian Brandy
Type: Liquor
Made By: Dwarves
Quality: Excellent
Description: A superior brandy made exclusively by the Dwutharian clan of dwarves. The process for making
Dwutharian Brandy is long, complicated, tedious, and secret. One item is known: the brandy is stored for 500
years before it is considered ready.
Game Effects: Normal effects, but smooooooooooooooooooooth.
Fire Beer
Type: Beer
Made By: Gnomes
Quality: Normal
Description: While some unscrupulous tavern owners would have people think that this drink is made on/from
the Elemental Plane of Fire, it is actually nothing more than obscure gnomish ale that started life as a practical
joke (as the race is often know for).
The primary ingredients (at least those different from other beers) are a combination of cinnamon and hot
peppers. Definitely an acquired taste and one of the few beers that needs a water chaser.
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The Flaming Amigo

Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Very Poor (an acquired taste)
Description: A dangerous drink indeed. The ingredients tell it all:
2 oz. dark rum* 2 oz. light rum*

2 oz. 150 proof rum* 2 oz. vodka*
2 oz. whiskey* 2 oz. tequila*
2 oz. sweet vermouth* 2 oz. dry vermouth*
2 oz. gin* 5 oz. red dragon blood
1 oz. bat guano (crushed)1 oz. red peppers (crushed)
* or an equivalent
Everything is mixed together into a wooden mug and served with a tinderbox. All of the more experienced
patrons of the bar start moving away when the novice drinker orders this drink. The bartender moves away
after mixing the drink and tells the "victim", from the far end of the bar, to light the drink...
Game Effects: There is a 5% chance that the drink will explode the moment it is lit causing 1d3 points of
damage to the character lighting the drink and anyone within 5 feet. If it doesn't the character must drink it the
moment it lights. The character must make a constitution check with a -2 above any other adjustments or he
passes out on the floor instantly.
A character will take one hit point of damage every time he drinks this drink unless he makes a save versus
poison.
If a character doesn't pass-out, this is a great drink to show off how tough he is.
Gammonberry Wine
Type: Wine
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent
Description: A highly intoxicating but delicious drink. This wine is very expensive as it uses a lot of fruit
(with gammonberry being the main ingredient) and rare kind of high alcohol yeast to produce. When offered
to a dwarf he said, "No thanks, I'll stick to Dwarf Spirits. I like to keep a clear head when I'm drinking."
Game Effects: The Constitution check for intoxication is made with a -6 penalty rather than a -3.
Glempe'
Type: Wine
Made By: Humans (Nomads)
Quality: Good (Acquired Taste)
Description: Glempe' was created by a Chinese/Mongolian/Arabian-type nomads. The nomads are equivalent
to Mongols, except that they are basically ethnic Chinese who were forced to live in a harsh desert. The
nomads are basically shepherds who depend on their herds of horses for transport. The liquor evolved from a
lack of grain, fruit, and other traditional bases for alcohol. Glempe' is fermented goat's milk.
Glempe' is loved by all of the nomads, and a pot of Glempe' is usually carried with those who travel into
the outside world (which is the Land of Karadu, as created by Tom Linkenback).
Similar to Glempe' is Carsmacos, fermented mare's milk (from Barry Hughart's Story of the Stone book).
Game Effects: Nomads are able to consume great quantities with no apparent ill effects (except for
inebriation), but many gaijin (the average Karaduian) fall violently ill after one taste. Elves seem to react very
negatively to the drink, perhaps because of their weaker Constitutions.
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Green Slime Wine

Type: Wine
Made By: Drow (originally)
Quality: Excellent
Description: This very rare wine is made by using the remains of a small Green Slime. This can be either a
white or a red wine. The wine will have a green tinge if its is a red wine. It will have a strong green color if
the base wine was white. If correctly done the wine will have a leafy and not a moldy or mossy taste. One of
the attractions of this wine is that it could still be dangerous. There are stories of persons turning into a Green
Slime after drinking this wine. It was later found that the wine had not been properly treated.
It is rumored that the Drow were the first to prepare this wine. Drinking the Green slime wine was a test of
bravery and faith to the Drow. The secrets were brought to the surface world by a group of adventurers.
During their adventures they raided a Drow encampment that had a copy of the instructions for making the
wine. Ever since then this wine has become very popular among the thrill seekers of the upper world. The
skill and danger involved in the creation of this wine makes it one of the most expensive wines to buy.
To make Green Slime wine you must locate and transport a portion of live Green Slime. Enchanted glass
vials seems to be the most dependable container available to adventurers. Once a sufficient amount of Slime
has been collected it must be added live to the wine base at the three week mark. Immediately after adding the
Green Slime a cure disease spell must be cast on the wine to kill the slime. For some reason when adding the
Green Slime to the wine it becomes somewhat magic resistant. There is a ten percent (10%) chance of the
spell failing. So a winery that tries to cut corners by hiring a low level spell caster may be taking a big risk.
There is not always a way to know if the spell worked or not since putting the Slime in the wine can
sometimes make the Slime go dormant. Now if nothing has gone wrong with the batch it should ferment
normally until done. At the end of the fermentation period it is always a good idea to cast cure poison spell on
the wine just incase some noxious poisons formed during the fermentation process. There is still a ten percent
(10%) chance that the spell will fail. This is why the Green Slime Wine is one of the most dangerous wines to
drink in most worlds. If you are not convinced read below.
If the Green Slime Wine is contaminated for some reason it will have a number of different effects
depending on what caused the contamination. If the slime was not killed when it was added to the wine it will
continue to grow consuming the wine and the cask and then it will be lose in the winery. This will not usually
be a problem for characters unless they are hired to dispatch this new grown Slime. If the Slime was killed but
produces poison in the wine then the character drinking the wine must save vs. poison or die. If the slime was
simply made dormant by the wine once in a stomach it will come alive and consume its host body creating a
new Green Slime. In this case there is very little hope of survival for the character. If the slime was killed and
did not create poison there is still a slim chance, about five percent (5%), that spores from the Slime will
germinate in the drinkers stomach. This creates the most dramatic effect of a bad batch of wine. The first
round after taking a drink of spore contaminated wine the character will start by having an upset stomach,
mostly cramps and dry heaves. On the second round the Slime will have germinated and start to consume the
stomach acids. This will case the character will suffer severe cramps and may cause convulsions. The third
round will have the slime taking hold of the stomach lining. This will cause hit point damage of about 10% of
the characters total hit points. The character must make a systems shock roll or die. On the fourth round the
character must save vs. death or die, a save will inflict damage up to 50% of the characters remaining hit
points. The fifth round the character will have horrible stomach cramps and will lose control of bodily
functions. At this point the Slime is moving into the important bodily organs. The character must save vs.
death or die, if the character saves he/she loses 50% of remaining hit points. On the sixth round Green Slime
will start to come through the skin and has spread to most of the important organs. The character must save
vs. death or die, if the character makes the save she/he must make a systems shock roll or die. The character
should now be down to 1 hit points. For the seventh round, and each round after until the character dies or is
cured, he/she must save vs. death and make a systems shock roll to survive. Also every other round the
character's constitution will be lowered by one point. This also increases the chance of death. These
constitution points can be recovered if the Slime is killed and the proper curative spells are cast on the
character. The character will now be at zero hit points (0 h.p.). If you are using the negative h.p. rules
continue to inflict hit point damage until death. Once death has occurred, the character has become a Green
Slime and only a wish spell or divine intervention can save the Character.
Ingesting a Green Slime or its spores is a horrible way to die and the only way to prevent death is by
casting certain spells before time runs out. By the second round cure poison will still save the character. By
the fourth round cure disease with cure poison will save the character. By the sixth round only remove curse
with cure disease will save the character. After the seventh round only a wish spell could save a character. By
then to much of the characters original tissue has been corrupted by Green Slime. Without the wish spell
nothing will save the character. A regeneration spell will not work because so much of the characters original
tissue has been contaminated. This also includes rings of regeneration, but the ring will keep the character at
zero hit points for one turn only. After that the ring of regeneration will have no other value it will be as if
acid had been used on the body.
Game Effects: Normal except special effects listed above.

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Name: Jagerbeir
Beer
Made By: Dwarves
Quality: Normal
Description: Jagerbeir is a dark, bitter dwarven brew. Since most dwarves live underground, it is rather hard to
grow things likes hops and barley (common ingredients in most brews). Therefore, this race made do with
what does grow underground. This black beer is made of fermented fungus and cabbage. Over ten varieties of
each make up the ingredients, which helps keep it a closely guarded secret (although few want the secret).
A favorite of dwarves, Jagerbeir is currently gaining interest with humans, as a cough medicine.
Game Effects: After consuming one glass of Jagerbeir, the character makes a Constitution check and if
success, he/she is cured of any cough disorder.
Jolly Dwarf (J.D.)

Type: Liquor
Made By: Dwarves
Quality: Excellent
Description: The most popular and best straight whiskey in Oerth. Jolly Dwarf is made by the dwarf clan
Daniels.
Klatchian Coffee
Type: Coffee
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent
Description: The residents of the desert kingdom of Klatch on the Discworld brew this wonderful coffee.
Klatchian coffee allows the Klatch people to drink powerful liquors (the highly-distilled-spirit of the kingdom
is called Ourakh, but has effects much like any other concentrated alcoholic beverage with lots of vile
contaminants).
The coffee causes the drinker to become knurd: it sends him/her off to the opposite effect of his/her
inebriation. The coffee is consumed in small, small sips from small, small cups in its native land. The degree
of cold rationality it instills is quite horrific to the ordinary individual.
Game Effects: Totally cancels drunkenness, some forms of insanity (at GM option), and many aspects of the
Chaotic alignment.
Lycanthrope Moonshine
Type: Liquor
Made By: Lycanthropes
Quality: Good
Description: This distilled whiskey is a popular amongst lycanthropes, although each type of lycanthrope (i.e.
werewolf, werebear, etc.) has their own particular brand. Interestingly, Lycanthrope Moonshine has a pure
white color to it. Just as fascinating is the fact that Lycanthrope Moonshine will actually glow on nights of a
full moon. This peculiar liquor is quite tasteful and thus popular among normal people even with the possible
strange side effects (see below).
Although the process for making Lycanthrope Moonshine is unknown, some rumors have arisen.
Supposedly, one ingredient is the blood of a lycanthrope. Also, it can only be made on nights of a full moon,
and the essence of the moon is actually captured into the brew.
Game Effects: After consuming a serving of this liquor, the character has a 5% chance of becoming infected
with the lycanthrope disease. This chance is cumulative. Thus, after Rath consumes five servings of
Lycanthrope Moonshine (Werewolf), he has a 25% of contacting the lycanthrope disease of a werewolf. As
one can see, the type of lycanthrope that the character can become is dependant on the particular brand of
Lycanthrope Moonshine. The chance of becoming a lycanthrope starts over after the character becomes sober.
Thus, Rath quits drinking for the night, sobers up the next day, and goes to drink some more Lycanthrope
Moonshine, and after his first serving this night he only has a 5% chance of becoming a werewolf.
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Mages' Brew
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans and some elves
Quality: Very Good to Excellent
Description: Mages' Brew is a potent drink, capable of putting even the strongest of drinkers under the table
with just a few drinks. Spellcasters have a great deal of immunity to the effects of this drink. Naturally,
Mages' Brew is a favorite of many spellcasters.
There are several varieties of Mages' Brew, all having different tastes and colors. Some types of Mages'
Brew have been created to look and taste like other alcoholic beverages. Many kinds of wines and liquors
have Mages' Brew "duplicates", so that spellcasters can look like they are drinking as much as everyone else,
but remain in control.
Game Effects: When a wizard (or any spellcaster, at the GM's option) drinks some Mages' Brew, he/she must
make a save versus poison. If the save is successful, the spellcaster is unaffected by the drink; no Constitution
check for intoxication is required for that glassful. If the save is failed, the Constitution check is made with
only a -1 penalty (non-spellcasters still have a -5 penalty).
One unusual side effect of the brew is that if any spellcaster rolls two or more 1's on the poison check, and
eventually becomes greatly intoxicated at that sitting, one spell that is currently memorized will be altered.
Most alterations are merely cosmetic (color changes in the spell's effect, or different verbal components), but
on rare occasions (1% chance) the spell in memory will become something significantly different. All
alterations are up to the GM. Wizards and bards are able to write this spell down, for later re-memorization
and casting. The spellcaster is always able to re-learn the original spell. If one of their spells is changed,
specialists will always have a spell in their specialty school altered. The new spell is always the same level of
the one it replaces. Because of the strange nature of this drink, it is not possible for a mage to get drunk for the
sole purpose of trying to create a new spell.
Mages' Brew was developed by alchemists, ages ago. However, the creation of Mages' Brew requires
neither magical nor alchemical skills, so it can be made by anyone. Mages almost never make Mages' Brew
for themselves (since it requires no magic to prepare). The secret to creating Mages' Brew is usually well-
guarded by those who know it, simply because its creation is one thing a "common brewer" can do, but a
mighty mage cannot.
Minotaur Malt Liquor

Type: Beer
Made By: Humans
Quality: Good
Description: This malt liquor beer is very popular amongst rough and tumbled adventurers. Of course, the
reason is that it has a high alcohol content for beer and adventurers like to booze it up. The name symbolizes
the hardiness of the brew. One popular advertisement is "Get Minotaur Malt Liquor, theres no bull about it".
Not to much is known about the brewing process, but something special must happen given the rumors of
possible side effects.
Game Effects: If a character enters a state of great intoxication due to Minotaur Malt Liquor and fails to make
his/her save vs. poison, he/she slowly becomes a Minotaur instead of permanently losing a Constitution point.
The transformation occurs over a period of one month. After which, the character becomes a full-fledged
minotaur and acts thusly. The GM must decided how the transformation should take place. Some possibilities
are slowly giving the character abilities, attributes, and features of a minotaur so it isn't obvious at first.
Obliviax Wine (Memory Moss Wine)

Type: Wine
Made By: Humans, Elves
Quality: Normal
Description: This wine is very special. If the wine was properly fermented, the drinker will acquire the
memories of whatever was most recently close enough to have its memories absorbed by the Memory Moss.
The drinker will understand any spells absorbed. The character will be able to describe the spell, but will not
be able to cast the spell unless the person was already a spell caster of the appropriate class. None of the
memories will be retained permanently. The memories will fade within 1d4 days. The moss is not poisonous
and must simply be killed to be added to the fermenting grape base.
The GM must decide what kind of memories have been taken by the Memory Moss. Were they the
memories of the person who killed it? The memories could be that of a passing animal or monster. There is a
very slight chance that the memories could be of a very evil monster or demon. The memories could also be
those of an adventurer who was returning to recover a large treasure horde or they could be the memories of
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someone trying to recover a lost love. This could be very interesting and a good way to introduce a new
adventure to the characters and a chance for the GM to use his/her imagination.
Game Effects: Normal except for special effects listed above.
O.D.B. (Old Dragon's Breath OR Old Demons Blood)

Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent
Description: O.D.B. come in two varieties, Old Dragon's Breath and Old Demons Blood, which are very
similar if not indistinguishable. O.D.B. is similar in taste to real-world Vodka. With one very notable
exception. O.D.B. is magically enhanced to be 300 and 400 proof. Yes, this does mean that there is 150% to
200% more alcohol than volume. It is safe to drink, though few bodies can take more than two shots in a
night. An interesting quality of such an alcohol strong liquor is that it is not very flammable.
Game Effects: A character automatically fails all Constitution checks as they pertain to alcohol because of the
potency of O.D.B..
Old One-Eye
Type: Beer
Made By: All
Quality: Poor
Description: Old One-Eye is a special brew almost all taverns are familiar with. The ingredients are one cask
of a good beer, several casks of water (depending on the cheapness of the maker), and a bottle or two of poor
quality wine. The best that can be said is that this beer will keep you going all night.
Potion of Dwarven Pride

Type: Potion
Made By: Dwarfs
Quality: Normal
Description: "While visiting the city of Stoink in the Bandit Kingdoms of northern Flanaess, I learned of a
nearby tavern and a famed elixir the barkeep had created. So I ventured a visit to this tavern in hopes of
learning the process of creating this draught. The name on the tavern wall rather stunned me. It was the
Splattered Dwarf Tavern, which I will not take the time now to explain the origins of this name although it is
quite an interesting tale. After getting over the initial shock of the tavern's name, I entered and spoke with the
Barkeep, Feryn Mughandle. With a little persuasion and some bartering I managed to coax the preparations of
his famous elixir from him:
Ingredients:
2 Pints of Drinking Water
1 Root of a Sassafras tree
10 Java Beans (coffee beans)
10 Poppy or Gypsum Seeds
1 Vial (pint) of Potion of Healing
Directions:
Allow the Sassafras root to soak in the water for 24 hours. After which, decant off the water. Next, bring
the water to a boil and place the Java Beans and the Poppy Seeds into the boiling water. Allow the concoction
to boil until the water takes on a deep brown hue. Decant one pint of the water off of the seeds and beans. To
the hot liquid, add the potion of healing. Finally, allow to cool, then place into a two pint potion vial or two
one pint vials.
Usage:
Each pint has two doses. Potion must be consumed for effects to work. If tasted tongue tingles, but no
other effect."
--- Solomayn the Strangled

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Game Effects: Downing this liquid gives the imbiber an immunity to the effects of alcohol for one hour or it
removes all previous affects of alcohol such as drunkenness or a hangover. Great for those tavern drinking
competitions versus dwarves, gnomes, or swarthy barbarians.
Pulgue
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Poor
Description: Pulgue is a fermented drink of the desert. It is made from the juice of a cactus plant called agave.
It isn't the best drink in the world, but a person's options are limited the desert. Not to many taverns are found
scattered amongst the sand dunes.
Red Righettini Fungus Beer

Type: Bock Beer
Made By: Deep Dwarves
Quality: Average
Description: A forgotten tribe of dwarves living in a cavern complex under Mt. Iridium spent years figuring
out how to make beer without sunlight. No sunlight, no barley. Dwarves without beer is unthinkable - so one
dwarf, Clackrock the Bold, developed a sort of brew out of fungus (called Righettini). Red Righettini Fungus
Beer tastes like an odd beer, but has a fair flavor. It is a heavy, rich, strange red hue, bock-type beer. It is
typically served in heavy granite mugs usually with a small, magical ruby that keeps the brew cool. The
dwarves refer to Red Righettini Fungus Beer as just "beer" because they know no other type. This could
change if a hearty band of adventurers open up an alcohol trade with the deep dwarves.
The best effect of Red Righettini Fungus Beer is that one dreams in highly vivid colors. The worst effect is
severe hangovers and the possibility of becoming allergic.
Game Effects: Red Righettini Fungus Beer causes severe hangovers. Therefore, the player must roll a 1d20
rather than 1d100 when getting the hangover effects.
There is a cumulative .1% possibility of a permanent allergic reaction after each drink. Thus, a character
who has had 10 drinks in a lifetime will have a 1% possibility of becoming allergic. A character who has had
1000 drinks of this beer will have 100% possibility and therefore is automatically allergic to it.
Rocgut
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Very Poor
Description: An inn in the city of Verbosh is named the Red Roc Inn, and inside all the furnishings are
constructed from the body of a roc that the bartender slew. His roc slaying sword is on display above the
counter, and the counter itself is supported by the roc's feet. The main drink at this establishment is suitably
named Rocgut.
Rocgut is a very, very, very, potent brew. More potent and foul than even the dwarven battlerager's brew,
which is made from fermented goats milk and horrid herbs. Even dwarves are effected easily by this brew.
Rocgut is made from the bodily fluids of the slain roc. The brew consists of blood, brain fluid, saliva, urine
and a host of other fluids to be found within the body. Added to this is camel's milk and selected herbs, the
brew is left to ferment, then it is ready to served.
The inn only has one large keg of the stuff, for another roc has not been found to make more, and so it is
an extremely expensive drink Keep in mind only one cup is needed. The drink is best skulled (gulped,
chugged) as sipping at the mixture only causes nausea, vomiting, and mild hallucinations.
Game Effects: When a cup of Rocgut is skulled, the following happens. To the observer, it appears that the
drinker's face goes bright green, then incredibly pale, then swells red with blood, then returns to normal. His
eyes are opened wide, and his body goes rigid. He then shakes uncontrollably, screams horribly, then passes
out for the rest of the evening. Without a successful system shock a point of Constitution is lost.
The drinker is suddenly presented with a couple of effects. The first is that he sees everything around him,
and everybody, as it truly is. All masks, assumptions, illusions, etc. are stripped away. All the illusions of life
are removed (a truly enlightening and very, very, terrifying experience).
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The second is that the drinker realizes his place in the order of things... he sees how infinitesimally small
he is in the great scheme of things, which is an overload for the brain, as people are essentially selfish
creatures.
Finally, the drinker undergoes intense sensory hallucinations, in which he sees his greatest fear in front of
him, whatever it is. One character who drank it had the hallucination of his mother-in-law with bags for two
weeks stay. Then he passes out.
Needless to say, it is usually a drink only enjoyed once in a lifetime.
Sake
Type: Beer
Made By: Humans
Quality: Normal
Description: Sake is an odd beer brewed from rice and served hot. It is made by the humans of Kara-Tu and is
the most popular drink in that land. The novelty of the beer and the source from which it comes makes it an
expensive drink in other lands. Sake has an alcoholic content from 14 to 16 percent.
The Silver Wolf

Type: Water
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent
Description: This exotic distilled water is made from the blood of wolves and enchanted holy or unholy water.
It is usually contained in a small silver cup, carved with a symbol of a wolf howling at the moon. The water
itself looks like normal clear water, with a slight pinkish tint.
Game Effects: When drunk, the drinker is filled with images of various wolfish scenes, including various
combat. After the hallucinations are finished, in 1d6 rounds, the drinker now has the instincts of wolves,
including quickness and hunting (+1d6 to Strength, +2d4 to Dexterity, +1d4 Constitution, increased sense of
sight and smell). This can lead to armies drinking this liquid and fighting other armies, being very victorious.
The instincts wear off after about 2d6 rounds, where the drinker is then intoxicated for the next 5 days. The
Silver Wolf costs usually around 100 gold pieces to 1000 gold pieces, depending on the wealth of the town.
Sparking Wine (or Shocking Wine)

Type: Wine
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent
Description: This excellent white wine has one special property that makes it unique. Not only does it seem to
anyone who looks at it that it has an electric look to it, this drink has a small electric charge. When a person
takes a drink there is a 50% chance of them receiving a small electric shock that does no damage. But it is
enough of a shock to disrupt concentration and cause the person to reach for their lips. There are actually two
types of this wine. One is made from enchanted grapes and the other has a portion of Living Web sprinkled in
the fermenting wine. The wine made from the magical grapes can never generate enough spark to harm
anyone. But the wine made from the Living Web can have a lethal affect. Because even though the Web is
dead it retains its ability to store electricity. Unless extreme caution is used in storing the wine it can absorb
more than a small electrical charge. There is a 20% chance that the wine has absorbed enough electricity to
harm the drinker. For those 20% then roll 1d6 to see how much damage occurs. On a roll of 1-3: 1 h.p.
damage occurs. On a 4-5: 1d6 h.p. of damage occurs. On a roll of 6: 2d4 points of damage are possible. This
wine has the possibility of being quite a shocker.
Game Effects: Normal except special effects listed above.
Spelljamming PanGalactic GargleBlaster

Type: Liquor
Made By: <your favorite alien race>
Quality: Exceptional
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Description: This exotic drink can only be found at Sun-nova Beach, an extremely exclusive speakeasy on
Cygnus-5. Also available at the time of purchase is literature informing the customer of financing options, and
a list of organizations that can help the customer rehabilitate afterwards.
The recipe for the GargleBlaster has been passed down for years at the 'Beach from one bartender to the
next. The legend goes something like:
First pour in the juice of a bottle of the Ol' Manx Spirit, then add a
measure of water from the Seas of Santraal V (Oh, that Santraal seawater!
Oh, those Santraal fish!). Allow 3 cubes of Mantovin Mega-Gin to melt into
the mixture (make sure it's properly iced, or the benzine will be lost!).
Allow 2 1/2 litres of swamp gas to filter thru, and, over the back of a
spoon, float a measure of Algorian Mega-Mint, reminiscent of the Algor
Regions... sweet, subtle and mystic. Finally, add the tooth of a Rakasta,
watching it dissolve, spreading the red flames of the Second Sun deep into
the heart of the concoction. Add an olive. Drink... but...veeerrrryyy
carefully.....
Game Effects: The effects of a Spelljamming PanGalactic GargleBlaster have been likened to having your
brains bashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a platinum brick. Upon completion of the drink, the
character will have attained a state of Great Intoxication. A save vs. Constitution will allow him/her to be
escorted (dragged) to a sleeping spot. ANY other action will result in violent illness (1 or 2 on 1d4) or
unconsciousness (3 or 4). If any additional alcohol is consumed before the character rests, he/she must save
vs. Poison or become comatose. See guidelines for recovery. Stimulants will have no effect on the recovery
time from a GargleBlaster, but a limited wish will cut the time to half. Upon recovery, the character manifests
the "Three-Spelljamming-PanGalactic-GargleBlaster Smile", which is almost exemplary of being unsteady...
Tiefling Iced Tea

Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Normal
Description: Tiefling Iced Tea is currently only made and served in the Black Sails Tavern in the Lower Ward
of a planar city. It is served in a Baatorian Green Steel mug as that is the only thing that can hold this brew
without dissolving. It consists of seven different layers of alcohol, one from each of the Lower Planes.
The Utter Moron

Type: Liquor
Made By: Any
Quality: Excellent
Description: The drink itself is made from the breath of dragons, bottled and stored for five years, then
combined with a mixture of whiskey and beer (few people know how much of each) which is stored in an
oblong glass container for another five years, where the breath combines with the liquor causing a reaction.
When the breath has finally soaked in, after five years, the liquid is poured into a small pipe, which filters out
all the thick portions. Then the liquid is heated until it turns into a solid, where it is sliced into 10 equal
portions and separated for 10 years, where each is conditioned at a different temperature, 1st at -50 degrees
Celsius, 2nd at -40, 3rd at -30 and so on. Then it is re-combined and frozen to where ice forms on its brim,
and THEN it's ready.
Game Effects: After consuming one drop of the Utter Moron, a person is then greatly intoxicated and cannot
do many menial tasks, including walking. The person immediately falls to the floor and most likely will start
drooling.
After consuming two drops of this drink, the person cannot flex any muscle, and all of them relax. This can
lead to many awkward positions.
After consuming three drops, the person immediately falls asleep. After four drops, the person loses all
ability to move from the legs down permanently. After five drops, the person can only move their neck. After
six drops, the person can only move lips, as to make simple words, forever. After seven drops, the person
cannot move at all, forever. After eight drops, the person dies.
Whimsy Wine
Type: Wine
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Made By: N/A
Quality: Excellent
Description: Whimsy Wine was created in the distant past when wild magic flowed easily from nodes of
power. Gradually, the magic was tamed until the present where only a few pockets of wild magic can be
found. Wherever wild magic and plant life come together at a power node, weird effects happen. Among other
things, intelligent vegetation creatures are born, portals to far off jungles arise, and fruits ferment into a
strange wine (Whimsy Wine).
It is rare stuff indeed, but there always seems to be one or two places here and there where people
accidently (usually in outdoor adventuring) come across it and fall in love with this wonderful concoction.
The effects can be most amusing.
Game Effects: One serving automatically places the drinker into a state of great intoxication.
Players may drink as much of the wine as they want, but only one whimsy will effect the players (except
where noted). The wine must be imbibed for the effects to take place. Some effects are immediate, some take
a key to set off (an action, a condition, etc.). Duration of effects have been noted. Roll 1d30 (an odd die
indeed) on the following table to get the proper effect:
1 Strength reduced by half for 1d4 days.

2 Heal 1d6 hit points (not to exceed total hit points).
3 Fall in love with the next monster of opposite sex encountered; lasts 1d4 days.
4 Hiccups for two days.
5 Polymorphs into a dragon (GM's choice).
6 Acute sense of smell for 1d6 day.
7 Lisp for 1d12 day.
8 Strength increased by three points for 1d8 days.
9 Has intense craving for fish; lasts 1d20 days.
10 Attracted to first party member character sees; lasts 1d4 days.
11 Dislikes first party member character sees; lasts 1d4 days.
12 Charisma reduced by five points for 1d12 days.
13 Acute stench for 1d6 days.
14 Automatically turns undead as 8th level cleric for 1d8 days.
15 Drains ten hit points from next person he/she touches.
16 Must possess the next magic item the party finds.
17 Does the hokey-pokey and turns himself/herself around.
18 Immediately sings a ballad at the top of his/her lungs.
19 Next monster encounter will not attack the character.
20 When the word "trap" is said, the character will spin around until dizzy.
21 Disappears for 1d6 days into an exotic land of ecstasy.
22 Character will be thirsty until he/she drinks two times again with both effects taking place.
23 Immediately can cast a 1st level magic spell without components at random; even if not a mage.
24 Falls asleep for 1d12 days.
25 Overcome with passion for the next tree the character sees.
26 Immune to all diseases for one week.
27 Immediately jumps 100 feet straight up and lands without damage.
28 Next weapon/spell use will automatically be successful; plus double damage and all victims fail their
saves.
29 Irresistible to all members of the opposite sex for 1d20 days.
30 Nothing happens.
Yellow Mold Beer

Type: Beer (Malt)
Made By: Humans, Dwarves
Quality: Normal
Description: There is nothing truly dangerous about beers made from Yellow Mold. There is a slight chance
that if some spores survive the fermentation process that the drinker will suffer from hallucinations for 1d4
hours (GM's choice). There is a fifteen percent (15%) chance that enough spores will survive the process to
cause hallucinations, in one bottle or keg. The mold must be killed without destroying it. This means that fire
based spells or flames can not be used to kill the mold. Once the mold colony is dead it can be safely
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transported to the place of fermentation. The mold is fermented normally and produces a light tasting and pale
beer.
Game Effects: Normal except for special effects listed above.
Zombie Killer
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Good
Description: House drink of the Bloody Fist (an adventurers' hang out) served in thick ceramic mugs for 1 GP
each - No pitchers will be served for the health of the customers. Bartenders will not serve more than six mugs
to a single person in one night.
Zombie Killer is made by fermenting a rare fungus that only grows on the bodies of defunct zombies. This
is a little known fact that is kept well hidden. The Bloody Fist has an exclusive arrangement with a
temple/monastery that has some rather bizarre beliefs and rituals. Making Zombie Killer is a profitable side
line venture for them that goes right along with their other activities. This information goes under the heading:
You are better off not knowing. If players ever get too curious.
Game Effects: After a person drinks his/her first mug, he/she will gain one hit point permanently. Subsequent
mugs do not have this effect.
Below are cumulative effects that occur while drinking mugs of this brew. The GM has the option of
adding these effects to those that would normally occur due to the guide rules or he may only use the effects
that are presented here. Even though the consumer is loosing intelligence and wisdom, he/she will feel they
are improving attributes.
1st mug +1 to INT, -2 to WIS, -1 to hit

2nd mug -2 to INT, -1 to WIS, -2 to DEX, -1 to hit
3rd mug -1 to INT, -1 to WIS, -3 to DEX, -1 to hit
4th mug Save vs. CON or pass out, mild hallucinations start*
5th mug Save vs. CON at -4 penalty or pass out, more hallucinat.*
6th mug more hallucinations*, pass out upon completion of mug
These effects wear of in 1d4 hours for every mug consumed. There is a 10% chance each drinking time that
the character will become mildly addicted and will need to have 1 glass/week minimum. If he/she can not get
a Zombie Killer, he/she will have very strong cravings (non- debilitate). If he/she goes six weeks without, the
addiction is broken. But if he/she gets some after being denied for awhile, he/she will drink them into
oblivion.
* All hallucinations associated with a Zombie Killer are of a mild, pleasant, and non-threatening variety.
People drunk on Zombie Killer are actually very happy fun people who think they are discovering all the
answers to the questions of the world, they just can't remember them the next day.
Other drinks that are currently being worked on:
Demon Spit
Firewine
Orc Piss
Panther Piss
ALCOHOL DRINK ADDITIVES
Alcohol drink additives are primarily the province of alchemists. They are not potions because alcohol drink
additives are not magical per se. Key ingredients in the additives are usually magical, but it doesn't take the
manipulation of magic to create the additives.
As with potions, the character must identify and gather the materials needed to create the additive before
he can begin his work. The formula can be as straightforward or bizarre as the GM desires. Each additive does
contain some important, key ingredient, but other ingredients are normal, mundane chemicals of typical of
alchemy shops. The basic cost of these ingredients ranges from 20 to 100 silver pieces, GM's decision. A
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small alchemy laboratory will be needed as well. The basic cost for such a laboratory is at least 100 gold
pieces in large cities where such equipment is typically available. A mere 1% of the laboratory's value must
be paid per month to maintain equipment, replace broken items, restock minor ingredients that lose potency
with age, etc..
To make a successful alcohol drink additive, a character must have the alchemy or bartending non-weapon
proficiencies. A character with the alchemy NWP does not need to make a proficiency check because of his
mastery of alchemy. A character with the bartending NWP needs to make a proficiency check with a -3
modifier. Failure indicates that the additive is worthless and the process must start over (i.e. get new
ingredients, etc.).
Table A lists the alcohol drink additives. A GM can use the table if he wants to randomly come up with an
additive for a treasure horde, alchemy lab, alchemy shop, etc..
TABLE A: Alcohol Drink Additives

1 Cooler
2 Memory Stealer
3 Pink Sweet Enricher
4 Rainbow Dust
5 Something to Remember
Cooler
Texture: Powder
Special Ingredient: Brow Mold
Description: When a small amount of dried powered Brown Mold is added to any drink it lowers the drinks
temperature to around 50 degrees Fahrenheit. This additive is handy if there is no way to keep the drinks cold.
No one should notice a change in the taste of a drink since this works on the temperature. A successful check
is required of the bartenders doctor drink skill if the bartender is trying to cover up the fact that the drink is
just now being chilled. The mold powder must be added before the drink is consumed. It is possible to simply
add the mold if everyone knows what is going on, no proficiency check would be needed.
Memory Stealer
Texture: Web
Special Ingredient: Memory Web, Living
Description: It is possible, by magic, to drain a memory web so that when added to a drink it will steal the
most powerful memory from the drinker. This could be a magical spell. Important instructions or memories of
a loved one. It would be up to the GM to decide, and the possibilities are limitless.
Pink Sweet Enricher

Texture: Powder
Special Ingredient: Pink elephant ivory
Description: This alcohol additive causes any alcohol created from a fruit to develop a fruitier taste and
become excellent in quality no matter what the quality was before.
Rainbow Dust
Texture: Powder
Special Ingredient: Rainbow
Description: This pinch of bright red powder causes any alcohol to suddenly sparkle and be filled with various
colors, filling the room with beams of reds, blues, violets, oranges, yellows, greens, and various other
spectacular colors. Occasionally a person might distinguish some sort of object in the beams, but it is merely a
hallucination. The beams give light as a continual light spell, which lasts until the potion is consumed.
When a person drinks a rainbow'd drink he is filled with images of colors, putting him at rest. It is made
from the essence of rainbows, captured only by leprechauns, and usually costs 500 gold pieces (or it can be
taken from any leprechaun when it is caught). If the essence is mixed with dust, when it is poured into a drink
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it will not make any effect, but when someone drinks the drink, then that person is flooded with colors and
goes insane, and some weak creatures will explode in a flash of colors.
Something to Remember
Texture: Web
Special Ingredient: Memory Web, Living
Description: When added to a drink this magical web gives the drinker one short memory. There is almost no
limit to what could be remembered, limited only by the GM's imagination. The memory will never be of a
spell or anything complicated. There is a chance that the memory will simply be a memory of one of the
web's last victims. Which, because the web is a scavenger, could be the memory of a rat, insect or other lower
life forms.
EXTRACTS FROM THE NET POISON DIGEST
The following are extracts from the Poison Digest found in computer net-land. Do you self a favor and find
the digest; its worth it. The compiler of the guide and the contributors are not known, but thanks is given to
these creative people.
Black mead - This is a clear liquid that smells like honey. It does 10-80 (10d8) damage, starts in 1 round, and
runs it's course in 15 rounds. It causes disorientation (-2 to hit, damage, 30% chance of spell failure) after 20
points of damage are taken; disorientation increases in steps of 10 points (additional -1 to hit, damage, +5% to
spell failure). This effect wears off in 1-3 turns after poison has run it's course. Save for half damage at -4.
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Budwhipper mushrooms - This mushroom powder causes advanced drunkenness, the victim will pass out
and will be out in a number of rounds equal to 23 minus constitution. Any alcohol consumed over the next
week will cause a relapse into the previous state.
Deathwine - Odorless, colorless, burgundy liquid. Often mistaken for wine. May be used both ways, as
insinuative (Blade venom) or as ingestive (Food poison). It is tremendously lethal. A save is allowed (at -5),
and if it fails, death occurs in 1 round. If the save is successful, the victim still takes 25 damage, 12 points of
damage in the first round and 13 points in the second round. If an antidote is to be used, it must be
administered within six segments or it will not be effective. Deathwine and it's antidote are EXTREMELY
RARE. This poison will effect ANY humanoid even trolls and the like.
Devil-Ale - An odorless liquid, very light orange color. It does a flat 60 points of damage, starts in 1-3 rounds
after ingestion, and runs it's course in 2-5 (1d4+1) turns. There is no save. An antidote is the only hope.
Lhurdas - (Also known as "Yellow Death" and "Beltyn's Last Drink".) This is a wine based poison. It has a
sharp dry white-grape taste and will readily mix with any such wine. It reacts with the digestive acids of the
stomach (effective in any of the player races) to eat away the internal organs and tissues. Ingestion produces
rapid (within two rounds) nausea, convulsions, and terrific internal cramps with burning pain. It does 1-6
(1d6) damage in the first round, 2-12 (2d6) damage in the second round, and 1-4 (1d4) damage in the third
and final round. Thereafter it will do no more damage, regardless of dose, and further exposure to Lhurdas
will cause discomfort and failure to heal, but no more damage. This resistance lasts for 3-25 (3d8) days. This
is an ingestive poison only. Save for half damage.
NO GUIDE IS COMPLETE WITHOUT MAGIC-ITEMS
Give me a bowl of wine. In this I bury all unkindness.
--- William Shakespeare

from Julius Caesar
I love everything that's old; Friends, time, books, and wine!
--- Oliver Goldsmith
Magic Item XP Value

Alcohol Meter Pearl 500
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Bottle Of Containment 1,750
Bottle Of Evaporation 1000
Bottle Of Fireflies 1,500
Bottle of Wine Summoning 5,000
Bull Bottle of Beer 500/2,000
Crown of Vines 3,000
Darkblood's Travel Size Distillery 2,000
Elixir of Pan 1,500
Elixir of Sobriety 7,500
Long Sword of Alcoholism ---
Miller Genuine Draft Bottle 500
Mug Of Plenty 3,000
Nehara's Never-Empty Flask 1,000
Ring of Alcohol Improvement 2,000
Ring of Intoxication 100
Ring Of Intoxication Prevention 2,000
Rings Of Wedding 250
Ring of Wine Changing 200
Ring Of Wine Spoiling ---
Root of the Beers 500
Runkelstein's Black Beads 500
Spit/Plaque Of Roasting 500
Spittoon Of Tidiness 500
Staff of Alcohol
Pine Staff 500
Birch Staff 600
Cherry Staff 700
Oak Staff 800
Iron Staff 1,000
Sword of Continual Alcohol 3,000
Tankard of Plenty 2,500
Tome of Viticulture 5,000
Tray Of Non-Spilling 500
Wineskin of Eternity 3,000
"You Can't Out-Drink the Brewery" Flask 3,000
Alcohol Meter Pearl

This pearl will change colors relative to the alcohol level of a liquid. See the chart below for the color the
pearl change to and the type of alcohol it is nearest to. The liquid may or may not be the type of alcohol listed
on the chart below, but it does have the same alcohol content and effect as that alcohol.
Color Equal to
Ivory None
Gold Beer
Copper Ale
Silver Wine
Olive Mead
Crimson Liquor
Ebony Poison
Bottle Of Containment
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This small bottle can hold up to 20 units of any kind of fluid. A magic potion counts as one unit, as does one
gallon of any non-magical fluid. The bottle keeps all its contents separate, and each may be recalled by name.
However, any fluid stored must be poured from the bottle to be used. The bottle appears empty if examined. If
the bottle is broken, all its liquid contents disappear.
Bottle Of Evaporation
This bottle appears identical to a bottle of containment and usually functions in the same manner. However,
its entire contents may disappear without warning. There is a 5% chance of disappearance any time the user
attempts to remove a liquid from the bottle.
Bottle Of Fireflies
This bottle appears and functions as a bottle of containment. However, when one wineskin of wine is poured
into it, the bottle glows with many tiny lights and the wine is immediately consumed. The lights can be
commanded to glow with any brightness desired and can light an area as small as 1 foot across or up to 120
feet in diameter. However, the bottle cannot be completely darkened except magically. The firefly light lasts 1
hour per wineskin of wine used and functions as often as desired.
Bottle of Wine Summoning

If found on an adventure this bottle will most likely be empty, but it is very ornate. If checked it will give off
faint magical traces. There will be writing on the bottle (GM should decide which language) that will include
instructions on how to use the bottle, including the command word. When the command word is given this
bottle will magically create any type of alcohol that the wisher wants. The wine will magically appear within
the bottle. The wine or alcohol will always be of the very best quality, vintage, and taste. The bottle will only
work once a day, so use it wisely. Once the bottle is empty there will be no more for that day. Also the
alcohol or wine summoned must be real in the characters universe, nothing imaginary or from the real world.
It is rumored that this magic item was originally commissioned by the great wine maker Chandon. Who
wanted to be able to sample any wine that was described to him by travelers. That way if someone said that
such and such a vintages from such and such a year from some far off land was very good. Chandon could
quickly check it out.
Bull Bottle of Beer

This interesting and sometime dangerous magical item can often be found in bars and taverns, it has been
found in treasure hoards. This bottle appears to be a simple bottle of beer. But when someone opens the
bottle, a magical bull will come crashing into the tavern from any large windows or a simple door. It might
come from a door to a back room or through the mirror above the bar. The bull will be slightly larger than
normal size. It will head directly for the holder of the beer bottle. Everyone within a 10 ft. radius will be
affected by a petrifaction spell and be unable to move.
There are two types of this magical bottle, the first type is more common than the second. The first type is
simply an illusion. The bull will seem to avoid people on its way to the bottle. Once there it charge the person
holding the bottle, but at the last instant will seem to jump into the open bottle. The second type of bottle is
more dangerous, this bull is real! It will not avoid anyone in the room and will head straight for the bottle
holder. Anyone who does not or can not get out of the bulls way runs the risk of taking stampeding damage
from all four hooves (1d4 per hit) and goring damage (1d8). The bull will make two attempts to charge, gore
and trample the person holding the bottle. It will then give up and wander away through a door and disappear.
While the origins of these magical items remains a mystery. Some people believe it was originally created
as a practical joke, as the non-lethal version may attest. But as will many pranks, this one can get out of hand
and become dangerous.
Crown of Vines
This is a clerical item, manufactured by clerics of gods of inebriation. It appears to be a circlet woven of
living grapevines. The wearer of a Crown of Vines enjoys several benefits:
1) Complete immunity to hangovers, addiction, and other forms of damage

caused by excessive alcohol consumption.
2) A +2 bonus to charisma with regard to others who are slightly
intoxicated, a +4 bonus when moderately drunk, and a +8 bonus when
greatly intoxicated (maximum 18). Anyone who considers the effects of
such leadership the next day will dismiss it as a result of drinking;
it's possible to lead troops out of a city wearing this item, but
they're going to mutiny when they sober up.
3) Instant knowledge of the form and quality of any alcohol perceivable
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with any sense.
Once a crown is worn, it will slowly grow more appealing to its wearer, and he or she will find it very easy
to see the positive aspects of the nights of revelry. Further, they will enjoy dreams that convey information
relating to the worship of the god the crown was woven with the patronage of. No explicit force will be
applied against the person's personality to effect a conversion, but the knowledge will serve as a very
persuasive argument.
A cleric of the god to whom the crown is dedicated may receive divine messages through these dreams,
vaguely like a phylactery of faithfulness, with the additional possibility of information relating to a quest
(note the non-italics on quest) being bestowed in the dream.
Darkblood's Travel Size Distillery

This container the perfect gift for those who love home-brew, but are often away from home for long periods
of time. The container can be a pot, kettle, or flask of any size up to 5 gallons.
Every 8 hours, any liquid in the pot will loose 1/2 its volume. The catch is that the water goes first. Thus, if
beer containing 10% alcohol is placed in the pot, then after 8 hours it will loose 1/2 its volume, but will now
contain 20% alcohol. Within 16 hours it will consist of 40% alcohol, and it will be 80% by the end of the first
full 24 hours in the pot.
However, if the original volume was 5 gallons, there is now only 5 pints of liquid left. Eventually any
liquid left in the Distillery will be completely evaporated.
When all the water is gone, some other liquid (juice, etc.) has to go next, GM's choice.
Elixir of Pan
This reddish brown fluid will cause a human or a demi- human to go into a state of great intoxication for 2d6
hours. At the end of this time the effects wear off and the victim recovers without a hangover.
At first this seems like a harmless enough potion. However, the absence of the hangover tends to compel
anyone who has a ready supply to indulge. Some less than scrupulous alchemists can make a killing with just
this one potion.
Elixir of Sobriety
There are actually 2 different potions floating around by this name. The first requires components such as
chicken egg yolks, cow's milk, and tomato juice. The second requires such things as basilisk egg yolks,
dragon's blood, and acid from the breath of a black dragon. One or the other of these may work, or both may
work in the GM's world. The first one will instantly cure drunkenness or a hangover for that instance only, it
does not provide for future protection. The second one is the difficult one to create and will prevent
drunkenness and hangovers for 1d6 months.
Long Sword of Alcoholism

This long sword is cursed casing -4 to hit. Also, the sword causes the victim to be an alcoholic. The
character's Amount Level goes to 8 and his Drinking Level goes to 5; neither can be lowered as long as the
sword is in possession. Unless it is subject to remove curse, the sword will return to the owner in 1d4 rounds
even if stolen.
The sword is currently in the hands of Dugar RedHandle. His stats when sober are Str: 18/00, Int: 8, Wis:
8, Dex: 17, Con: 12 (was 15, but heavy drinking has lowered it), Com: 18, Chr: 15. He is a 10th level fighter
when sober; less than a fighter when drunk. Besides this sword that he believes is a fine indispensable
weapon, he carries a shield and wears chain mail armor.
A Remove Curse is the only way to get rid of the sword. The Alcoholism will remain but can then be
treated.
Miller Genuine Draft Bottle

This is a normal sized bottle that appears to have beer in it. A black label around the bottle states in golden
letters "Miller Genuine Draft". The bottle is sealed with a metal cap that must be twisted off. Once a person
does this a strange thing happens. A 20 cubic foot area around the bottle suddenly gets a chilly temperature of
50 degrees Fahrenheit. A light snow begins to fall in the area of effect. Ten 5 cubic foot blocks of ice pop up
randomly in the area of effect. Stylish, sexy music begins to play. Furthermore, a case of non-magical,
excellent-quality, draft beer slides out of thin area along side the bottle opener (i.e. the person that opened the
bottle). The cold effects last as long as the 24 bottles remain filled with beer.
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Mug Of Plenty
This device is a large clay beer mug. When a command word is spoken, it immediately fills with light or dark
ale or thick mead, as the user wishes. When drained, the command word will cause it to fill again. While not
particularly useful on adventures (although you would never know), this is perhaps the most popular magical
item among the isles.
Nehara's Never-Empty Flask

Nehara was a dwarf who was granted a couple of wishes. His first wish was used to raise a dead comrade. His
second wish was "for a never-emptying flask of the strongest, best- tasting alcohol in the entire multi-
universe". He wished this because he really detested water, and even bathed only in moonshine. Nehara
received this flask that produces an alcohol which is magically endowed to have the projected properties of
400 proof alcohol (yes 200 proof is 100% alcohol, which is why the words "magic" and "projected" are used).
Any creature drinking the magical alcohol from the flask must save vs. poison unless his/her immunity
check is made. Failure indicates that the imbiber suffers 1d10+10 points of damage and becomes unconscious
for 1d12+12 hours. A save indicates that the imbiber enters a state of great intoxication. Also, the imbiber
develops an immunity to the alcohol. For each save the character gains a cumulative +1% to his immunity
check. All creatures start out with an immunity equal to his/her Constitution score. Nehara's first shot from the
flask knocked him out. Afterwards, he started to develop a tolerance that was, simply, not normal. (Because it
was his wish that brought this item into existence, he began with an immunity of 90%, which he failed on his
first drink.)
Note: The alcohol loses all properties if not drunk from the flask. Thus, characters can not pour the alcohol
out and store it each day in hopes of having a large supply of powerful elixir.
The flask refills itself everyday at midnight with the magical alcohol. It is the size of a normal wineskin,
and made of fine leather, albeit almost invulnerable leather.
Nehara's antics with this flask are legendary. Once, Nehara was on guard duty one night and a lone kobold
wandered into camp. Nehara grabbed the poor bastard and forced him to take a rather large gulp of the
infernal beverage. The kobold failed his save versus poison and dropped dead (from losing 9 HP), much to the
drunken dwarf's dismay.
Nehara is probably best known for drinking many half-ogres under the table. The usual bet was, "I can
drink more of this than you can drink," at which point the dwarf could take two or three shots, but most others
would drop after the first one.
Ring of Alcohol Improvement

This ring seems simply to be a +1 ring of protection and will show to be magical if checked.
The special function of the ring does not become noticeable until the ring comes into contact with a
container full of alcohol. At which time the alcohol in the container (mug, glass, bottle, etc.) will be turned
into the very best quality possible.
There is a very good chance that the character will never notice that he/she never has another bad tasting
drink even in the worst pubs. Save vs. Intelligence or Wisdom at -7.
Invented by a wizard who hated to pay high prices for good drinks, but could not stand the thought of
drinking anything bad.
Ring of Intoxication
The wearer of this ring will instantly enter a state of slight intoxication, and gradually move from that to
moderately intoxicated, to greatly intoxicated, to comatose (figure one step per hour). The wearer will feel
good and will not want to remove the ring (PCs wishing to remove it must make a Wisdom check). Recovery
starts when the ring is removed or the wearer is comatose. Once the wearer is recovered (and if still wearing
the ring), the process starts again.
Ring Of Intoxication Prevention

This silver ring has a small white opal set in it. While this ring is worn, the wearer does not suffer the effects
of alcohol.
Rings Of Wedding
Referred to in ancient texts as the "Band of Gold", the ring of wedding is worn on the third finger of the left
hand of the character. Forged only in matching pairs, the ring of wedding creates a mild bond of telepathy
between the pair wearing them. Thus, a character who wields a ring of wedding and partaking in an alcoholic
beverage will have a 90% chance of being known by the wearer of the matching ring. It is advisable for the
ring-wearing male who practices such a ceremony with a female to make friends with a cleric who has a
"Cure Heavy Wounds" spell.
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Ring of Wine Changing

This magical ring will always appear magical if detected for and will act as a +1 ring of protection at all
times. Its special powers will not become obvious unless the hand with the ring comes into contact with a
container filled with alcohol (mug, glass, bottle, etc.). At which point the alcohol in the container will be
magically changed into another type of drink i.e. red wine would be changed into white wine, white wine
would be changed into Champagne, beer would be turned into vodka, etc.. Of course this could lead to some
problems if a character or NPC is really picky about the type of drink ordered.
The first reported use of this type of magic item was when a mage was mad at the owner a local tavern.
The mage constructed the ring and gave it to a Dwarven fighter who loved his one special beer. It caused no
end of trouble for the tavern. The Dwarf never went back after the fight, but did discover the flaw in the ring
and quickly sold it at a good profit.
Ring Of Wine Spoiling

This ring simply seems to be a +1 ring of protection and will show to be magical. Its special power does not
become noticeable until the ring comes into contact with a container holding alcohol (mug, glass, bottle, etc.)
at which point the alcohol in the container will be spoiled (i.e. wine turned to vinegar, beer will taste like
grain, etc.). There is only a small chance that the character will realize what is happening (-4 on intelligence
check). This could cause interesting problems at a bar or tavern. Those Dwarfs really love their bear and ale.
Root of the Beers

This is a gnarled wooden root that spans one foot if straightened out. When the root comes in contact with a
pint of pure spring water, it turns the water into an excellent tasting drink of non-alcoholic birch beer or root
beer, depending on the desires of the owner. This root is often accompanied with a Staff of Alcohol where it
wraps around and intertwines with the gnarled staff.
Runkelstein's Black Beads

These beads, created by the reformed alcoholic mage Runkelstein, are the size of a small pea. They typically
come in quantities of 1d10+10. When a bead is dropped into a container of alcohol, it removes the effects
typically associated with liquor consumption. Yet, the liquid retains its full body and taste (great taste, less
filling). The consumer will not get drunk or have a hangover. Very useful in drinking matches and when
treachery is suspected. One bead will detoxify the following:
Alcohol Amount
Beer 6.0 gallons
Ale 4.0 gallons
Wine 2.0 gallons
Mead 1.0 gallons
Liquor 0.5 gallons
Spit/Plaque Of Roasting
Very popular in inns and taverns, these separate items both do the same thing: they roast meat without the
need for a fire or other heat source. The meat must be skewered on the spit or laid out on the plaque, and a
command word spoken. The user may specify the degree of roasting.
Spittoon Of Tidiness
A favorite item amongst taverns and inns, this metal urn levitates one inch above the floor. Whenever anyone
spits on the floor, the spittoon will move quickly and catch the expectorate. The spittoon is fast enough to
travel the widest portion of the tavern floor in less than one second. Customers have played games with this
spittoon by spitting at the same time. The spittoon will catch the nearest expectorate, then hit the shins of the
other spitter, hard enough to bruise. Not many customers try it again after that. The spittoon will also catch
any food thrown or dropped before it hits the floor.
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Staff of Alcohol
This ordinary looking gnarled wooden staff, often looking like a twisted walking stick, will after giving the
command word and touching the top of a glass or mug magically creates an alcohol drink. The staff has a
limited number of charges. It can only produce a limited type of drinks, each requiring a different number of
charges. For the different types of alcohol created see charts below:
Pine Staff: Beers; good quality 1 charge, very good 2 charges, excellent beer
3 charges.
Birch Staff: Ale, charges as per beer.
Cherry Staff: Wines; 1 charge good white wine, 2 charges excellent white
wine, 3 charges good red wine, 4 charges excellent red wine.
Oak Staff: Whisky 1 charge, vodka 2 charges, schnapps 3 charges.
Iron Staff: the iron staff does not have a command word you simply twist the
top end until to get the desired type of drink. The iron staff is not
twisted, it is arrow straight. All drinks created are excellent quality. Beer
1 charge, Ale 2 charges, White wine 3 charges, Red wine 4 charges, champagne
5 charges.
Sword of Continual Alcohol

This is a large sword which has a crystal blade. The handle is made of gold, with two needles coming out of
one side. The blade is divided into two portions, one being around the hitting edge and the other every where
else. The blade is also always filled with a black liquid, which is known to be alcohol. When a person picks
up the sword the needles in the hilt inject into his hand, injecting alcohol into his bloodstream. This will cause
the bearer to have fits of enrage, 18/00 strength, and some bad habits, 3 charisma. When the bearer scores a
hit, there is a chance that the alcohol around the hitting edge will be injected (in the same manner) into the
opponent's blood. The alcohol around the hitting edge is 100% pure alcohol, and will kill anyone instantly.
When the sword runs out of alcohol, the bearer may fill it, in whatever way he can, as he is addicted to it.
Tankard of Plenty
This tankard is a dwarf's (and other alcoholic's) dream. Any non-magical, alcoholic liquid placed in this
tankard will be kept fresh for the duration that it is in it.
The tankard is made of iron, silver, and ivory (from an unknown beast). It's lid is made of silver, and can
be opened by it's flip-top thumb press. Hanging from the underside of the lid, is a silver chain that has on the
end of it a small stone of a volcanic nature. The stone hangs just off the bottom of the tankard when it is
closed. Any non- magical, alcoholic liquid that is in the tankard will completely cover the small stone when
the lid is closed. The next time the tankard is open, it will be filled to the brim with the liquid. Thus you need
buy just one drink at a tavern for a whole night's entertainment.
The lid is not airtight, and so the tankard cannot be used to store liquid during travelling. If it is used in this
way, then all the thirsty adventurer will find is an empty tankard and a soggy backpack.
Tome of Viticulture
If read in one sitting, this tome will magically give the reader great knowledge in grape growing and wine
making. The character will have the equivalent Intelligence of 19 for determining the best type of grape to
grow in an area and the best piece of land to chose. The character will instinctively know when the grapes are
at the right ripeness for the type of wine the character wants to make. The character will know at just the right
moment to press, bottle, and ferment the wine. The character will also know exactly when the wine has
fermented long enough. The character will know how to correctly store and turn the wine while it is
fermenting. The character will be able to tell how long the wine will remain a good vintage. The character
will have a bonus of +4 when trying to determine if a wine was from a good vintage or not. The character has
a bonus of +4 for creating a good or great vintage for a particular year.
The magic tome must be reread each year to continue to receive the full bonus from the tome.
If a GM want the tome can be made more specific so that it can only benefit for the making of one type of
wine. As example or to GM's taste:
Red Wines: Red Bordeaux, Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Petit Verdot.
Champagne & Sparkling wines: Blanc de Noir, Blanc de Blancs, Sparkling

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Burgundy, Cold Duck.
White Wines: Montrachet, Meursault, Cote de Beaune, Chablis or Petit

Chablis, Macon Vire.
Appetizer & Dessert Wines: Sherry, Madeira, Vermouth, Port, Marsala, Tokay.
Tray Of Non-Spilling
This tray keeps its own balance regardless of the dexterity of the bearer. Only intentional upsetting will spill
items on the tray. If the GM rolls to see if the character slips and falls or slips but catch his/her balance, the
tray will not spill in either situation. It is assumed to have landed safely away from the character if there is a
level space nearby. Otherwise, the items on the tray are indeed spilled.
Wineskin of Eternity
This appears to be a perfectly ordinary wineskin. While grasped by a sentient creature, it can pour forth a thin
stream of excellent wine, as if it were nearly full of such liquid; however, it cannot be opened to refill it.
Strangely, it never seems to empty.
Note that the flow rate on a wineskin is not high, so while you can get drunk passing it around, you're not
likely to be able to pour out large quantities for sale or filling moats and so on. The Decanter of Endless
Booze is a much rarer item, and you don't want to see what happens when you set it to Everclear, invoke the
Geyser function, and hold out a torch. It also won't work to just upturn it to pour out its contents: someone has
to be consciously getting wine out of it.
"You Can't Out-Drink the Brewery" Flask

"You Can't Out-Drink the Brewery" is a figure of speech used by a senile school teacher. This flask looks at
first as though it contains the empty remains of an alchemical potion. It feels light as if there were nothing in
it, and in fact a closer inspection will reveal that there is nothing inside of it. However, there is a persistent
sloshing noise emanating from the flask anytime it is shaken in the slightest manner. If it is tipped over into
some drinking vessel, it will provide a consistent, unending source of poor quality wine. It isn't the greatest,
but it is free alcohol.
GM's can modify the quality of the wine, or even what sort of liquid is dispensed. Experience points and
price should be based on the value of magic and alcohol in the GM's world, and exactly what sort of product
is formed by the flask. PC mages wishing to create one of these themselves will want to research create water,
water to wine, and cornucopia spells, along with permanency and enchant item. Yes, in most worlds some of
these spells are known only to clerics, in which case a cleric/mage is the only answer.
La Bouteille Magique de Chandon

(Chandon's Amazing Bottle)
When first seen, this bottle will appear to be just like any other wine bottle, but it will be very ornately
decorated. It will radiate magic if it is detected for. The wine will always be of the very best vintage. The
design on the bottle will be of a typical vineyard and winery. If a character looks closely he/she might see
movement, as if workers were tending the fields.
On closer inspection of the bottle, a character might notice several things which are common to vineyards
and wineries. Grapes grow best in a dry northern climate, with hills and nearby bodies of water. The grape
crops would be placed on the slope of a hill facing south. A south facing grape crop is best for wine grape
growing. It will always seem to be late summer or early fall which is the best time to harvest grapes. The
grapes will then be at their richest wine making flavor. The Grapes are usually planted in rows six to eight
feet apart to allow for spreading leaves and roots. The vines are held on wires or ropes spread between posts at
the end of each row of plants. Wooden carts and wagons are used to haul the grapes to the winery. Ploughs are
used to keep the area between the vine rows clear of weeds. The winery and housing will be on the valley
floor near a river or large lake. The winery can be very large, but much of this space is taken up by the aging
casks. The finished wine will be stored in underground sellers or in a place with a constant, cool, temperature.
Once wine has been poured from the bottle, the workers will set out as if to make more wine. After a short
amount of time the bottle will be refilled. The faster the bottle is drained, the faster the workers appear to
work. The workers will soon get tired and work will slow down (see table A). If a character is simply draining
the bottle to see the wine being made or if the bottle is given a good shake, the little people will shake their
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fists and make rude gestures at the characters. It would seem as if they could see what was happening outside
of the bottle. If the bottle is severely shaken damage will occur on the farm and the people will fall over.
Any character who looks into the bottle must save vs. magic or be transfixed by the bottle, as per the
fascinate spell (1st edition Illusionist spell). The character will simply stare into the bottle until something or
someone distracts the character. There will be no negative reaction or emotions toward the bottle. The
character might simply say something like, "Wow" or "Amazing".
An aspect of the bottle is that it must be exposed to sunlight at one time or another. If the bottle is not
exposed to sunlight for one week changes will occur within the bottle. Starting during the second week, the
weather will seem to change within the bottle. By the end of the week, clouds will become noticeable, rain
will fall, and generally the weather within the bottle will deteriorate. After another two to three weeks without
sunlight, a hard frost will occur that will apparently stop the growing and harvesting of new grapes. During
the next week, the vineyards will be cleared and old branches and stumps will be burned. Wine will still be
produced but at a much slower rate from stored grapes. After another two weeks without sunlight, the bottles's
landscape will be covered with snow. Wine refilling the bottle will happen very slowly. Wine production will
never truly stop, but if no more wine is poured from the bottle, snow will drift up covering the fields and
houses. No more activity will be seen outside of the houses except for smoke out of the chimneys (see table
B).
If the bottle is ever found in a dungeon or in a place that the GM believes that there has been no exposure
to sunlight for a long time, the bottle will show a snow covered valley, with the wine will be of a very good
vintage and well aged. The bottle will slowly refill. But not until the bottle is touched by sunlight will the
snow melt and spring and finally summer return to the farm. Wine production will not be very swift until after
new grape plants have grown.
In the legends of wine makers there was a great master and his name was Chandon. He was one of the best
wine makers ever. When he felt that he could do no more to expand the realm of wine making, he was
depressed. But soon he was presented with a gift from a great but now forgotten wizard. This gift was the first
of the magic bottles. Chandon was very impressed and ordered that his best wine should be made in these
magic bottles. He commissioned many bottles to be given out as gifts to important Kings, Queens, and, it is
rumored, even Gods. These magic bottles are very rare and valuable, they are sparsely spread across many
worlds.
The popularity and demand for these magic bottles has produced many imitations and copies, some of
which are good and some are very bad. These copies are the reason for the following variations on a theme:
(see table C)
Table A: (As a guide otherwise use example in text.)

Exposure of bottle to sunlight:
Regular (Daily) Production is one full bottle (750 ml or 24 oz) per round.
Less regularly (Weekly) Production slows to one full bottle per five (5) rounds.
Periodically (Monthly) Production slows to one full bottle per turn.
Rarely (Bi-monthly) Production slows to one full bottle per 3 turns.
Very rarely (Yearly) Production slows to one full bottle per hour or less.
Almost never (In the dark) Production is only one full bottle per day or less.
Table B: (As a guide otherwise use example in text.)

Effects of the passage of time without sunlight:
Week number:
1. Clouds, some rain possible but not strong.
2. More clouds, rain begins.
3. Constant clouds, rain.
4. Constant clouds, rain, first light frosts. Wine Production slows.
5. Heavy Clouds, rain, Hard frost. Wine Production now very slow, vineyard cleared.
6. Low Heavy Clouds, rain, hard frost, Snow. Vineyard completely baron, no new grapes. Wine coming from
reserves. Very, very slow production.
7. Very Low, heavy clouds, Heavy Snow. Drifts of snow begin to cover area until sunlight returns.
Table C: Wine Bottle Variants (1d100)

Die
Roll Type
01-10 Red Wines
11-20 White Wines
21-30 Sparkling Wines
31-35 Beer
36-40 Ale
41-45 Malt
46-50 Appetizer Wines
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51-55 Dessert Wines (Sweet)
56-60 Distilled Liquors (Brandy)
61-65 Rum
66-70 Whiskey
71-75 Gin
76-80 Unusual (Special)
81-85 Unusual (Hard)
86-96 Special (See the table for POPULAR & STRANGE ALCOHOLS AMONGST THE WORLDS
elsewhere in this guide.)
97-00 Magical (Very Special)
GM's remember when using these tables to modify if necessary the description of the bottle read to the
players.
Sub-Table C1: Red Wines (1d20)

Die
Roll Type
1 Claret
2 Burgundy - Chablis
3 Beaujolais
4 Barber
5 Barerone
6 Aleatico
7 Cabernet
8 Carignane
9 Charbono
10 Chianti
11 Concord
12 Duriff
13 Gamay
14 Grignolino
Die
Roll Type
15 Ives
16 Mourastel
17 Norton
18 Petite Sirah
19 Pinot Noir
20 Roll again or GM pick one
Sub-Table C2: White Wines (1d20)

Die
Roll Type
1 Rhine
2 Sauterne
3 Catawha
4 Chablis
5 Chardonnay
6 Elvira
7 Folle Blache
8 Golden Chasselas
9 Gutedel
10 Hock
11 Rose (Pink)
12 Light Muscat
13 Malvasia Bianca
14 Moscato Canelli
15 Muscat Frontignan
16 Moselle
17 Ponot Blanc
18 Sauvignon Blanc
19 Traminer
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Sub-Table C3: Sparkling Wines (1d12)
Die
Roll Type
1 Champagne (Common types see sub-table)
2 Sparkling Burgundy
3 Sparkling Sautene
4 Sparkling Moselle
5 Pink Champagne
6 Sparkling Muscat
7 Moscato Spumante
8 Sparkling Muscato
9 Canelli
10 Sparkling Burgundy (Red)
11 Imitation Champagne (White)
Sub-Table C3B: Champagne (1d8)

Die
Roll Type
1 Brut
2 Extra Dry
3 Demi-Sec
4 Doux
5 Blanc de Blancs
6 Blanc de Noirs
7 Cremant
8 Brut Extra Dry
Sub-Table C4: Beer (1d30)

Die
Roll Type
1 Barley Wine
2 Chamonile
3 Dandelion
4 Ginger
5 Herb (GM pick name if necessary)
6 Guiness Extra Stout
7 Guiness Extra
8 Guiness
9 Irish Stout
10 Milk Stout (or Sweet Stout)
11 Oatmeal Stout
12 Light Lager
13 Dark Lager
14 Nettle Beer
15 Spruce
16 Sap
17 Treacle
18 Heavy Lager
19 Boneshaker Stout
20 Carmel
21 Bitter Beer
22 Maize Flake Beer
23 White Raspberry
24 Porter
25 Wort
26-30 Roll again or GM pick one (room for expantion)
Sub-Table C5: Ale (1d12)

Die
Roll Type
1 Bitter (pale)
2 Bran
3 Brown
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4 Burdock
5 Dandelion and Burdock
6 Demerara
7 Flaked Barley
8 Light Ale
9 Pale Ale
10 Dark Ale
11 Amber
Sub-Table C6: Malt (1d6)

Die
Roll Type
1 Amber
2 Porter
3 Light
4 Dark
5 Crystal
Sub-Table C7: Appetizer Wines (1d4)

Die
Roll Type
1 Sherry: Roll 1d4 for quality/type
1 Fino (Light and Dry)
2 Amontillado (Med Dry)
3 Oloroso (Dark, Med Sweet)
4 Cream (Sweetened)
2 Vermouth
3 Madeira: Roll 1d4 for quality/type
1 Sercial (Dry)
2 Verdelho (Med Dry)
3 Bual (Med Sweet)
4 Malmsey (Sweet, Rich)
4 Marsala
Sub-Table C8: Dessert Wines (Sweet) (1d12)

Die
Roll Type
1 Port: roll 1d4 for age/quality
1 Vintage/very old (Extra-good)
2 Old (Very Good)
3 Young (Good)
2 Muscatell
3 Tokay
4 White Port
5 Angelica
6 Aleatico
7 Malaga
8 Malvasia
9 Muscat Frontigan
10 Red Muscatel
11 Sweet Sherry
Sub-Table C9: Distilled Liquors (Brandy) (1d12) (Roll For Quality)

Die
Roll Type
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1 Grape
2 Apple
3 Peach
4 Pear
5 Raisin
6 Prune
7 Apricot
8 Cherry
9 Blackberry
10 Applejack
11 Plum
Sub-Table C9A: Quality (1d4)

Die
Roll Type
1 Congnac (Best)
2 Broderies (Very Good)
3 Armagnac (Good)
4 Imitation (Less Good)
Sub-Table C10: Rum (1d6)

Die
Roll Type
1 Local Trade (Low Quality)
2 Home Trade (Good)
3 Export Trade (Strong)
4 Stock (Very Strong - Must be diluted in Wine)
5 Morrow Rum (Good)
6 Roll again or GM can pick one
Sub-Table C11: Whiskey (1d6)

Die
Roll Type
1 Rye
2 Bourbon
3 Pot Still (Sweet)
4 Patent Still (Sweet)
5 Pot Still (Sour)
6 Patent Still (Sour)
GM can always pick one
Sub-Table C12: Gin (1d8)

Die
Roll Type
1 Juniper Berry
2 Sloe Berry
3 Bitter Almond
4 Cassia Bark
5 Fennel
6 Orris Root
7 Liquorice
8 Turpentine
GM can always pick one
Sub-Table C13: Unusual (Special Wines) (1d100)

These are popular and may even pre-date true Grape wine making.
Die Die
Roll Type Roll Type
1 Aubergine (Egg-plant)(Med) 51 Lovage (Sweet)
2 Almond 52 Malt (Med)
98
3 Artichoke (Dry) 53 Marigold (Dry)
4 Balm (Medium) 54 Marrow (Sweet)
5 Banana (Semi-Sweet) 55 Mead (Med)
6 Barley 56 Meadowsweet (Med)
7 Beet, Sugar (Med) 57 Medlar (Med)
8 Beetroot (Med) 58 Mulberry
9 Bilberry (Dry) 59 Nectarine (Med)
10 Birch Sap (Dry) 60 Oak leaf (Sweet)
11 Blackberry (Semi-Sweet) 61 Orange (Dry)
12 Blackberry Shoot (Dry) 62 Pansy (Sweet)
13 Blueberry 63 Parsley (Dry)
14 Broad Been (Dry) 64 Parsnip (Sweet)
15 Broom (Sweet) 65 Passion Fruit (Med)
16 Bullace (Plum)(Med) 66 Paw-paw (Dry)
17 Cabbage 67 Peach (Med)
18 Carnation (Med) 68 Pea Pod (Med)
19 Carrot (Dry) 69 Pear (Med)
20 Celery (Med) 70 Pineapple (Med)
21 Chamomile 71 Plum (Dry)
22 Charlock 72 Pomegranate (Med)
23 Cherry (Sweet) 73 Port-Style Wine
24 Clover (Med) 74 Prune (Sweet)
25 Coffee (Sweet) 75 Primrose (Med)
26 Colts Foot (Med) 76 Raspberry (Dry)
27 Cornmeal (Med) 77 Sake (Rice wine)
28 Cowslip (Med) 78 Strawberry (Dry)
29 Crab Apple (Med) 79 Tangerine (Med)
30 Cranberry (Med) 80 Tea (Med)
31 Currant (Sweet) 81 Blackberry
32 Cyser (Med) 82 Pumpkin (Sweet)
33 Damson (Med) 83 Quince (Med)
34 Dandelion (Med) 84 Beaujolan
35 Date (Dry) 85 Apple (Dry)
36 Dewberry 86 Raisin (Med)
37 Elderberry (Med) 87 Apricot (Sweet)
38 Fig (Semi-Sweet) 88 Rhubarb (Med)
39 Folly (Dry) 89 Rose Hip (Med)
40 Ginger (Sweet) 90 Rose Petal (Med)
41 Golden Rod (Med) 91 English Sack
42 Gooseberry (Dry) 92 Sarsaparilla (Sweet)
43 Grapefruit (Med) 93 Sloeberry (Med)
44 Greengage (Med) 94 Spruce
45 Guava (Med) 95 Squash (Sweet)
46 Hock 96 Sultana (Med)
47 Honey 97 Tomato (Dry)
48 Hops 98 Turnip (Sweet)
49 Loganberry (Sweet) 99 Wheat (Med)
50 Loquat (Sweet) 00 Yarrow (Med)
GM's remember that if you don't like the results you can always pick the one you want.
Sub-Table C14: Unusual (Hard) (1d8)

Die
Roll Type
1 Arrack
2 Vodka
3 Schnapps: Roll (1d4)
1 Peppermint
2 Peach
3 Pear
4 Apricot
4 Tequila
5 Tequila with Worm
6 Mescal (Mezcal)
7 Okolehao (Ti-Root / Tropical)
99
Sub-Table C15: SEE THE LIST OF POPULAR & STRANGE ALCOHOLS AMONGST THE WORLDS
(elsewhere in this guide)
Sub-Table C16: Magical (Very Special) (1d100/2)

Die
Roll Type
1 Produces poor quality and/or cheap wine (Roll Again to determine wine type).
2 Produces vinegar
3 Produces spoilt wine (Roll Again to determine wine type)
4 Makes non-Alcoholic wine (Roll Again to determine wine type)
5 Slow production 1/2 speed (See Table A)
6 Fast production twice the speed (See Table A)
7 Produces Grape Juice
8 Cursed: If a character fails the save vs. magic she/he will become magically trapped within the bottle
to work there the rest of his/her life making wine. (As per the 1st ed magic user spell imprisonment,
roll
again to determine what wine this bottle creates.)
9 Cursed: Same as above but no chance of escape ever. (Roll again for wine type.)
10 Special: as number 8 above. But bottle is gateway to new world Character can wander around,
explore and adventure (If GM is ready, then Roll again for wine type.)
11 Special: as above, but character was summoned to help solve a mystery or protect the world inside
the bottle from evil. (Roll again for wine type.)
12 Special: as above, but character is given a quest to obtain some special item, normal or magical, to
assist the winery. Could be a search for new farm tools or a search for a new grape stock for the
world inside the bottle. (GM's option) (Roll again for wine type.)
13 After giving a command word, bottle will create as many drinking glasses as directed. (Roll again to
determine type.)
14 Bottle produces poison (GM's choice or try Reid's random poison generator). Save and take one half
of characters hit points as damage and lower constitution by 1.
15 Bottle produces a slow poison that Kills after a random number of does are taken. If saves take half
of characters hit points as damage and lower constitution by 1. Roll 1d4:
1 -- Roll 1d12 doses before death
2 -- Roll 1d20 " "
3 -- Roll 2d20 " "
4 -- Roll 2d10 " "
16 Wine also acts as healing potion. (Roll again for wine type.)
17 Wine also acts as a potion of extra healing. (Roll again to determine wine type.)
18 Wine will cure poison, as per the spell. (Roll again to determine wine type.)
19 Wine will cure disease, as per the spell. (Roll again to determine wine type.)
20 Wine fulfills all nutritional requirements of a normal meal. (Roll again to determine wine type.)
21 Create Great Feast: Once a day, on command, the bottle will create a great feast for up to 20 persons.
If necessary, all plates, tables, and chairs will be provided. The meal will be excellent, and if
necessary the surrounding area will change to fit the needs of a great dinner. This will include, if
appropriate, decorations and waiters/cooks. The meal will match the type of wine served from the magic
bottle. (Roll on either the Red or White wine list.)
Red Wine: Red meat, Game and sometimes chicken. (ie Roast beef, pork, lamb, steak, duck, goose,
turkey, pheasant, venison.)
White Wine: Chicken, Fish and White Meat. (ie Oysters, fish, fowl, turkey, vegetarian dinners.)
22 A Great Feast, but after 2-4 hours later every will be hungry again.
23 A Great Feast, but everyone who ate must save vs. poison or fall into a deep sleep for eight (8) hours.
24 A Great Feast but everyone who ate must save vs. magic or be teleported to a random location 1d4 X
100 miles away.
25 Wine is produced at real time. The bottle will experience all the same seasons that are occurring in
the outside world. If it is winter outside, it will be winter in the bottle. If it is raining outside the bottle,
it is raining inside the bottle. There will only be one full wine bottle per year with this bottle and after
that you must wait for next season for a bottle full. No wine is made at any other time. The wine
from this bottle will always be the very, very best. It is rumored that there were only one or two of these
made and that they were the original bottles that inspired Chandon. If this is not true then they are
the early proto-types or rejects created as a mage learned how to master the process of constructing the
magic bottles.
26-50 Nothing special start over or GM pick one. Room was left for expansion.
100
I used as background and souse material the following books:

· Rosalind Cooper's, The Wine Book, 1981.
· Jeff Cox's, From Vines to Wines, 1992.
· Karl M. Herstein and Morris B. Jacobs, Chemistry and Technology of Wines and Liquors, 1948.
· William Mares, Making Beer, 1992.
· Leo Zanelli, Beer and Wine Making an Illustrated Dictionary, 1979.
The magic bottle is (C) copyright Ronald Jones 1993 all rights reserved. Permission is granted for free
distribution if credit is dully given and no profit made. Permission is granted for editing for inclusion in this
guide.
DIONYSUS'S MOLTOV COCKTAILS
Let us drink the juice divine,

the gift of Bacchus, God of wine!
--- Anon
These small, glass flasks are filled with wondrous potions of the exploding kind. They have a cloth stopper in
the opening. They are the work of 'Irnar the chaotic mage (protege Morgan Blackheart of the Chaotic Realm).
Sometimes while trying to manufacture a potion, 'Irnar's mind wanders to more intoxicating thoughts (like
where he should go for a good drink tonight). In fact sometimes he is intoxicated while creating and the actual
potion isn't quite what he wants. He sells such "rejects" to the local apothecary (or nearest pub) at discount
prices (which are still quite high due to the power of the Cocktail). The dealers then sell the flasks to foolish
adventurers. They advertise the flasks as "Gifts from the Wine God", "Missile Weapons for the Serious
Drinker", "If You Like Chaos...", and "Good To The Last Drop". Then, the dealers inflate the price and make
a bundle. The flasks are available infrequently and at high cost.
These flasks are never predictable in their effects. To use them, one must light the cloth at the opening of
the flask and hurl the flask at the intended victim. Roll 1d30. Flasks may be used only once. A successful hit
from an attack roll must be made to initiate an effect unless stated otherwise. They do not do damage unless
stated otherwise. Drinking the contents of the flask will produce immediate heavy intoxication and severe
heartburn.
Mainly drunk, chaotic characters use the flasks. Also, characters with a low wisdom tend to use them a lot
more that others.
Effects:
1) The flask is reflected back at the thrower. Roll again to see the effects to the thrower ignoring this result.
2) The victim suffers 2d6 points of damage.
3) The victim's Constitution is increased by 1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 days.
4) The victim's Strength is increased by 1d10 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 days.
5) The victim immediately enters a state of slight intoxication.
6) The victim immediately enters a state of moderate intoxication.
7) The victim immediately enters a state of great intoxication.
8) The victim immediately enters a comatose state of intoxication. "Good night."
9) The victim suffers the effects of a hangover. Roll on the Hangover Effects Table.
10) The victim suffers the effects of moonmelons ("Moonmelons, Moonshine, Mooncreatures, Oh My!"
section).
11) The victim becomes "drunk on love". Therefore, he/she is affected as if greatly intoxicated for 1d4 days
and will chase after attractive people of the opposite sex.
101
12) The victim's alcohol addiction amount level becomes 8.
13) The victim's alcohol addiction drinking level becomes 8.
14) The victim develops Dipsomania insanity ("Crazy Drunk" section).
15) The victim transforms into an alcohol dragon within 1d6 turns which will last for 1d4 years.
16) The victim begins dancing for 1d4+1 rounds, complete with feet shuffling and tapping. This dance makes
it impossible for the victim to do anything other than caper and prance; this cavorting worsens the Armor
Class of the victim by -4, makes saves impossible except on a roll of 20, and negates any consideration of a
shield.
17) The victim goes into a melancholy depression for 1d4 days during which he/she feels compelled to drink
constantly and wallow in his/her sorrows.
18) The victim attracts giant leeches for 1d4 days.
19) The victim will seek out a cleric of a god of wine, alcohol, or pleasure and make a hefty donation. This
donation could be monetary or in the form of free work.
20) The victim and his party will be transported to a place "where everybody knows your name, and your
friends they're glad you came...". That's right, the characters are in the famous Cheers bar as seen on
television (NBC, Thursday 9:00 PM), but it isn't a show, its a real bar found in Boston. They will be there for
one day.
21) The flask bursts into a spectacular display of dancing lights (as the spell). Within 1d6 turns Lohocla The
Guardian Of Alcohol will appear.
22) The flask turns into a large, unbreakable bottle of an alcoholic beverage (roll on tables of "Getting to
Know Your Booze" section).
23) The flask turns into a large, unbreakable bottle of a special alcoholic beverage (roll on tables of "Popular
& Strange Alcohols Amongst the Worlds" section).
24) The flask turns into an illusion of 2d10 pink elephants that dance around the victim for 10 rounds before
marching away.
25) Upon contact, the flask explodes (no damage) into 4d20+20 olives.
26) The flask turns into a benign Djinn with a great knowledge of a alcohol equal to a brewer or wine-maker.
The Djinn will constantly follow the victim around reciting recipes, suggesting great drinks, telling of famous
pubs and taverns, trying to get the character to take up alcohol making as a career rather than adventuring, and
just being a nuisance.
27) The flask falls short of the victim and begins to spin extremely fast for 1 round. Suddenly, a bright flash
will blind everybody for another round (no saves). During which, three "bud" girls, a large cooler containing
bottles and cans of beer, a 10' X 10' hot tub, a magical stereo system playing rock n' roll music, and a gas grill
with steaks cooking on it appear. All are permanent. The GM may have to come up with stats for the "bud"
girls if the victim wants to keep them (comeliness and charisma are always extremely high).
28) The flask bursts into a fireball doing 6d6 damage.
29) The flask turns into a rose upon contact.
30) The flask splits into two flasks that remain on course at the intended victim. Roll twice on this table
ignoring this result.
102
THE MUGS OF ENDLESS REFRESHMENT
Having concluded his warning about the cursed Mug of Alcoholic Destruction several hours previously,
Alcore finished his fourth drink (this one known colloquially as "Ghostbuster") and began to fidget. Leopold
had vanished (presumably with a companion) about five minutes into the discourse and had not been seen
since. Alcore was considering going upstairs to claim the gnome so they could leave (he could hear heavy
footsteps above - so finding Leopold would not be difficult!) when a pair of patrons stopped by to ask about
the Mugs of Endless Refreshment that he had compared to the "Destruction" mug to. A few minutes later still
a third stopped by to voice the same request.
"Ah, a trend!" thought Alcore. Pulling out a small wooden cigar box, Alcore proceeded to open the box...
and open the apparently now larger box... and open the now sizable object that he was standing next to... until
the cigar box became a beat up looking desk with a sign on the front. The sign read "You taste it; You bought
it!" in a different hand and color was the added caption "We warned you!"
Alcore walked around to the back and reached into a drawer, rummaging for something. Eventually he
extracted a finely crafted mug of similar style to the object of his earlier presentation. Setting this newly
retrieved item on the desk top he retrieved the deadly cursed mug from his table and dropped it into the
drawer, closing it.
"Friends! By popular request, I have been asked to describe the properties of the Mugs of Endless
Refreshment from which the deadly Mug of Alcoholic Destruction takes its camouflaging reputation. Behold!
The Third Mug of the Arrchanius Trio!" Alcore holds aloft this new mug for view and display.
The "Lost" Mugs of Endless Refreshment:
The Mugs of Endless Refreshment are specially enchanted beer mugs that produce an endless supply of any
desired beverage on command. Two sets of such mugs have been produced in known history and all except
for one mug of the second set (The Master Mug of Phonicon) is now lost.
All of the mugs are ornately crafted "Bavarian" style mugs. Each has and inscription that flows around the
rim that says "If thou desires refreshment hold forth the mug and say 'DRINK!'". This inscription is magical in
nature and appears in the native tongue of the holder of the mug. Although ornate, the inscription can always
be read by any literate sober person.
When the holder performs the actions described by the inscription, the mug immediately fills itself full of
whatever type of beverage was desired by the user. This beverage will always be of good quality and free of
harmful properties (although if an alcoholic beverage was desired then the alcohol is still very much present
and potent!). Each mug has a specialty beverage that it produces at an enhanced quality equal to the best
quality of that beverage ever produced. Each mug has a different specialty and no record remains of what
each mug's specialty was except for the "Master Mug of Phonicon" (Entorre Ale).
The Original Set ("The Arrchanius Trio"):
The first known set of such mugs to be made was a set of three made by Arrchanius the Wondrous in the 23rd
year of the current age (481 years ago). He gave two of the mugs to friends and together they met weekly to
talk and exchange news. One of these friends was Varlas Entorre who subsequently established the first major
city to emerge (Entorre City - now known as Phonicon City) after the 5th Cataclysm (504 years ago).
According to legend the trio continued to meet in a public tavern to have these weekly meetings even after
Varlas became the "First Citizen" of the newly formed Entorre Commonwealth (now known as the Phonicon
Empire).
Each of these mugs has, as an additional power, the ability to convey to the drinker the state of mind and
state of general well being of the other mug owners if so desired. It is rumored (but is not true) that while
drinking from one of these mugs the drinker cannot lie. (Although it can be very difficult to deceive the
owners of the other mugs due to their knowledge of your state of mind!)
The Second Set ("The Imperial Dozen"):

103
The second known set of the Mugs were a set of twelve made in the Year 105, immediately after the Phonicon
Reformation of the Entorre Commonwealth. Although the name of the crafting wizard is lost to time, it is
known that she was one of the three rejected apprentices of Arrchanius the Wondrous and that she consulted
his original design notes. Jolius Phonicon commissioned these mugs to be made while he was still just
"Senator" Phonicon, well before he led the coup that made him the First Emperor. Eleven of the mugs were
given as gifts to the rulers of the other known emerging nations of the world. Each gift was conditional on the
accepting ruler paying a visit to the new empire to "have a drink" with Emperor Jolius. Of the eleven sent out
five were returned unopened with a bald refusal to so much as speak with the "Usurper Emperor", much less
drink with him. It is believed, but unknown for certain, that four of these remain in the cellar of the Royal
Palace of Phonicon. With the exception of the Master Mug of Phonicon (the Mug retained by Jolius Phonicon)
all of the other mugs were subsequently lost in various sieges, battles, or raids of the Empire against those
nations.
Each of the eleven "gift mugs" contains a subtle curse that can be activated by the owner of the 12th mug
(The Master Mug of Phonicon). If the owner accepts possession of the mug by drinking from it, he must
journey to Phonicon City to "have a drink" with the owner of the 12th mug within one year. No persuasion or
force can prevent the owner from wanting to make the journey. While in physical possession of the Mug and
on the journey, no person will prevent or obstruct the trip. If friendly to the owner of the 12th mug (the
Emperor of Phonicon) encountered persons will even be actively helpful in this quest. Any knowledge of
location or identity needed to locate the 12th mug is imparted in order to make the journey possible.
Once arrived, the 12th mug owner and the gift mug owner must "Have a Drink Together". During this
process the owner of the 12th mug may imbed up to five subconscious commands into the mind of the victim
without the victim's knowledge. The victim is entitled to a save vs. spells for each command implanted, with
each made save rendering that command powerless. For each command skipped by the 12th mug owner, the
victim gets -2 on each of the saves that must still be made. (e.g. If only one command is implanted then that
save would be at -8!) The victim must obey the exact wording of all successfully implanted commands for as
long as the 12th mug remains with the same owner. The magic of the mugs requires the 12th mug owner to be
a polite host for the duration of the victim's visit or the magic is negated and the victim's full memory of what
actually happened returns. The victim is unable to desire to cause harm to his host for the duration of his stay
provided these conditions are met.
Selective application of Remove Curse (or better!) can remove either the compulsion to go have the drink,
or (provided that the exact wording of the command is known) be used to remove one implanted command
with each application. Note: The victim never wants to be freed of his desire to go have the drink and they
never remember anything but a pleasant meeting with the 12th mug owner after the fact.
The special powers of the gift mugs are unknown in general legend. Instead popular rumor has it that it is
simply tradition for the Emperor to have a drink with persons possessing a Mug in honor of Varlas Entorre.
Additional rumor hints that the House of Phonicon must fall if this tradition is ever discontinued due to the
lingering spirits of the original drinking trio. Although totally untrue, the House of Phonicon has lost some
knowledge of the true power of the Mugs and now itself believes the legend! Unfortunately, they have not
forgotten how to implant suggestions; though they often don't try due to some uncertainty. This uncertainty
comes from the fact that the 12th mug owner has no way of knowing if the victim's mug is in fact one of the
11. In at least two cases in history it is suspected that the prospective drinker had one of the Trio instead of the
Imperial Dozen and was merely taking the opportunity to take advantage of the "Emperor's Drink" tradition.
In both of these cases the visitors never acted on their "implanted" commands and took great offence at what
they were told to do. (Prior to this time, it had become the family joke to order unimportant victims to "Go
jump in the lake.")
104
WHAT A CUTE RODENT
Golden Spirit Hamster
CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any
FREQUENCY: Rare
ORGANIZATION: Solitaire or Pack
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Herbivores
INTELLIGENCE: Animal (1)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1-20
ARMOR CLASS: 7
MOVEMENT: 15
HIT DICE: 1/4
THAC0: 20
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1/2
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Nil
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: T (5' long)
MORALE: Unreliable (2-4)
XP VALUE: 5
The Golden Spirit Hamster is a small rodent with short legs and a small bobtail, characteristics of an animal
that spends most of its active life underground; however it is not strictly subterranean. The Golden Spirit
Hamster has a brown to gold color is about 5 inches long and weighs about 1/4 pounds.
Combat: Golden Spirit Hamsters normally flee from anything bigger then themselves. Trapped Golden Spirit
Hamsters will bite to survive and hopefully flee.
Habitat/Society: The main concern to a Golden Spirit Hamster is food. The Golden Spirit Hamster thrives on
a diet of green vegetables and various grains. They cram their food into cheek pouches and later store it in
their dens.
Interestingly enough, the Golden Spirit Hamster's great love is alcohol even in preference to water. In fact,
"spirit" in its name refers to the hamster's great love for alcohol and not to any religious or undead connection.
The Golden Spirit Hamster has the unique characteristic of having a huge capacity for alcohol being able
to drink its body weight in alcohol per day (although it expends about the same amount as well). Furthermore,
the Golden Spirit Hamster has an immunity to alcohol which has no dire consequences (i.e. intoxication,
hang-overs, alcoholism) on the hamster as it does to other mammals.
The hair of the hamster becomes more beautiful as he consumes alcohol turning from brown to a deep
golden color. The hair becomes more golden, more fluffy, and more silky. In fact, a well "feed" hamster's pelt
can fetch a few platinum pieces.
Another side-effect to drinking alcohol causes the Golden Spirit Hamster to purr. The purr is very
soothing, relaxing, calming, and hypnotic. A person becomes very peaceful and stress free. A person's morale
is modified by +5.
The Golden Spirit Hamster's love of alcohol can make it quite a pest especially to those that store large
quantities of alcohol. Wood is no barrier to the hamster and he will gnaw his way through wood to get to
alcohol. With their high and quick reproduction (see Ecology), the hamster's can infest an area and become
quite the pests destroying barrels and barrels of alcohol. There are few things worse then finding beautiful,
golden, purring hamsters at the bottom of a empty tun (250 gallon capacity) of wine.
On the other hand, the Golden Spirit Hamster is a popular pet because it is clean and relatively odorless,
easy to take care of, and safe to handle. Many tavern patrons have enjoyed buying a beer or glass of wine for
the Golden Spirit Hamsters caged at the bar.
105
Golden Spirit Hamsters must be kept in non-wood cages, preferably with solid bottoms, or they will gnaw
their way out. The floor of the cage should be covered with sawdust, wood shavings, and/or straw.
In nature, the Golden Spirit Hamster makes its home in underground den where it is safe from attack by
predatory birds such as hawks and owls.
During cold times like the winter months, the Golden Spirit Hamster can reach a semi-dormant state but
does not go into complete hibernation.
Ecology: A female can have four to five litters of six to eighteen young each year after a short gestation
period of six weeks. The life- span of the animals rarely exceeds three years.
Natural enemies to the Golden Spirit Hamsters are birds of prey, felines, and larger carnivorous rodents.
HEY BARTENDER, THERE'S A FISH IN MY BEER
Herlinte (HER-lin-tay)
CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Water, fresh streams, beer

ORGANIZATION: Solitary
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Omnivore
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Nil
NUMBER APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: 7 (Special)
MOVEMENT: Sw 18
HIT DICE: 1
THAC0: Special
NO. OF ATTACKS: Special
DAMAGE/ATTACK: Death
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Poisonous explosion
SIZE: T
MORALE: Unsteady (4)
XP VALUE: 100
The Herlinte are a race of tiny, silver fish, about 3", that inhabit the rivers. They are skinny, and cannot be
seen without magical aide when in water.
Combat: If swallowed with alcohol they will survive as long as the character remains intoxicated. When he
sobers up, the fish or its young (if it lays eggs inside the person), will explode killing the person.
When swallowed with no alcohol, they will immediately explode in the stomach, causing death.
As for their small size, they are impossible to hit without a fishing NWP, and with it a successful hit roll
must be rolled and a skill check must succeed. When it is hit, however, and killed, it will explode in poison,
ruining the beer and the cup. The poison is lethal in connection with ANY living tissues, (you could put it on a
monster while it is sleeping and shoot it, killing it and the monster) but can be cured with a dose of pure
water, which neutralizes the poison.
Habitat/Society: When out of water, they look like small guppies. They are commonly found on the bottom
of rivers, sleeping.
In the beginning, they were only found in one lake of a cold climate (GM's should create a northern lake in
his campaign world), which was made solely from alcohol and pure water. Most adventurers would stop at
that lake and take a drink. Then the fish would enter the body of the poor fellow when they drank, and when
the alcohol wore out of the fish died, causing a poisonous explosion, rupturing the bloodstream and
contaminating it with poison.
One adventurer discovered the fish and netted them all, using a magical fishing device. He flushed them
into the nearest river. The lake of alcohol, it seemed, depended on the fish for the alcohol to survive, so it
turned into a normal lake, and the fish couldn't live without the alcohol so they hibernate along the river's
floors.
Commonly, bartenders keep a jar of them, in river water, to drop in an annoying person's alcohol drink.
After that person leaves, he will eventually be poisoned. The fish only live when they are in beer, and without
beer they eventually die and explode, except when in water, which causes hibernation.
106
Ecology: Herlinte are solitary creatures who only meet to breed which they can only do when some alcohol is
present. The alcohol is also required when laying eggs (typically 5d6 eggs). A big danger is a swallowed fish
that lays eggs in the victim. The eggs enter the bloodstream of the person where they eventually hatch.
HAVE A PICNIC WITH THESE ANTS
Red Ant, Giant Alcohol

Black Ant, Giant Alcohol
CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Temperate/Forest, hills, and plains

FREQUENCY: Very Rare
ORGANIZATION: Colony
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Omnivore
INTELLIGENCE: Black: Animal (1)
Red: Semi-intelligent/Animal (2)
TREASURE: Q (x3), S and Special
ALIGNMENT: Nil (Neutral)
NO. APPEARING: 1-100
ARMOR CLASS: 3
MOVEMENT: 18
HIT DICE: 2 (worker), 3 (warrior)
THAC0: 16
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-6 (worker), 2-8 (warrior)
SPECIAL ATTACKS: See below
SIZE: T (2' long)
MORALE: Average (9)
XP VALUE: 35 (Worker), 175 (Warrior)
Giant Alcohol Ants are very similar to other types of giant ants (MC2) with some different and unique feature.
In red ant colonies, the \ood storage ants produce alcohol from the food (grains or fruits) it is fed. The red ants
constantly feed from these storage ants and do not save it for when other types of food are scares. The black
giant ant actually builds small cisterns for holding fermented plant matter, this is how they grow their food.
They live on special algae and lichens that only grow when exposed to alcohol.
Combat: Is mostly the same as for normal giant ants. But the sting of an alcohol ant injects alcohol into its
victim. To see where the alcohol comes from see below. But after the second bite any character or monster
must save vs. poison or become intoxicated. If a character fails a save then all other failed saves have a
cumulative effect on the character. So on the first failed save a creature or character becomes slightly
intoxicated, on the second failed save they become mildly intoxicated, after the third failed save the person
becomes greatly intoxicated. Finally if a forth save is failed an alcoholic coma is induced. The warriors are
able to ingest the alcohol from the feeding ants or from the storage cisterns and use it in their stingers.
Habitat/Society: Mostly the same as for Giant ants. Except that alcohol ants prefer to nest in areas where
there is easy access to fermentable materials (grains or fruits). A GM will have to determine what kind of
alcohol is produced, by what is available to the ants. Also, red ants will feed from the storage ants on a regular
basis and not just when there is a shortage of food. Hence the alcoholic nature of a warriors sting. It is
believed by some that the red alcohol ant is slightly smarter than the black. Because of the way the red ant
builds special rooms to ferment alcohol. The alcohol is then moved to another room where it is used to grow
the ants crops of molds, fungi and algae. The appearance of intelligence comes from the selective way the red
ants gathers fruits and grains. They are very selective, almost attempting to keep from mixing what makes
different types of alcohol. Both types of ants could be a problem to some farmers but others have been able to
put this small intrusion to good use by harvesting some of the wine from the ants.
Ecology: Same as for giant ants. Except the meat of these ants (both red and black) is more prized as a
delicacy since the meat of the giant alcohol ant can be intoxicating. The meat of three ants has the same
alcohol content as one drink. The capture of a live red storage ant would be very valuable if a way was found
to keep it alive and producing alcohol. It is possible that some of these ants might have been domesticated for
their alcohol producing abilities. Especially for the red ant, since a person could tap the wine cistern without
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disturbing the ants and use or sell the alcohol. If domesticated in some fashion, it would be possible to control
to some degree the type of alcohol produced by providing the food and or forage that the ants require. There is
a greater chance of there being several giant ant lions in the vicinity, since they prize the unique taste of the
alcohol ant.
THE BEST, THE BEAST
You are just settling down into your sleeping roll after a hard day of adventuring when suddenly you hear a
loud stomping. From no where a large reptilian creature busts through the trees. You begin to draw your
sword, but its to late. The beast has just sunken his sharp teeth into your torso...
Milwaukee, The Beast
FREQUENCY: Rare
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Carnivorous
INTELLIGENCE: Non-
TREASURE: Special
ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: 2
MOVEMENT: 5
HIT DICE: 5
THAC0: 15
NO. OF ATTACKS: 4 (claw/claw/bite/tail)
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-4/1-4/1-8/1-6
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Special
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Special
SIZE: L (10' tall)
MORALE: Special
XP VALUE: 500
The milwaukee, also known as The Beast by primitive cultures, is a fearsome creature descended from the
giant carnivorous dinosaurs, a brother to the dreaded Bonesnapper, and a nephew to the alcohol dragon.
Known for its savage ferocity, awesome power, and mental stupidity.
Milwaukees grow to a height of ten feet tall and can weigh as much as 1000 pounds. Their non-scaled hide
is thick and leathery. They are a dark golden brown with fiery red eyes.
Combat: A foolish opponent, the milwaukee charges at its nearest opponent. If attacked from another
direction, the milwaukee spins about and purses its new adversary.
The milwaukee's main attack is a powerful bite with its mighty jaws and sharp teeth. A successful bite
inflicts 1d8 points of damage. Against the same person the milwaukee bites, it can slice with its claws for 1d4
points of damage per claw.
In the same round the milwaukee can attack another opponent with a large sweep of its long muscular tail
for 1d6 points of damage.
A milwaukee has an involuntary ability to release an intoxicating gas. It begins one round after the
milwaukee gets agitated and lasts 10 rounds. The golden, transparent gas covers a 25' area around the
milwaukee. It causes no damage, but characters in the area enter a state of great intoxication for 1d10 rounds
(no save). Fumes from the gas will linger for 2d10 rounds, so characters should take precautions to avoid it's
effects.
Milwaukees always fight to the death, not intelligent enough or emotionally stable enough to retreat.
Habit/Society: Milwaukees are nomadic, solitary creatures and will only leave their isolation to mate.
Milwaukees have a lust for alcohol. They can smell fermented foods and drinks up to 2500 feet. When
they do, Milwaukees enter into a frenzy of excitement and will seek out the source and consume it as quickly
as possible. This could become real dangerous if a milwaukee gets near a town, city, or worse: a vineyard.
Ecology: Milwaukees are dangerous predators because of their great strength and hunger. For this reason,
despite their low intelligence, they tend to dominant carnivores in their territories.
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As lizard men find the flesh of bonesnappers tasty, they love the taste of milwaukees mainly because it is
intoxicating. Any race can get drunk off of the flesh of a milwaukee. Every pound of milwaukee flesh is equal
to one serving of liquor.
The blood of a milwaukee is highly poisonous when consumed. A person consuming an ounce of
milwaukee blood must save vs. poison. Failure cause 2d20+10 points of damage. Success cause (2d20+10)/2
points of damage. It may seem that this poison would be very valuable. Unfortunately, an ounce of blood
gives off a powerful odor. The odor smells like fermenting hops and barley and will overwhelm anybody
within 10 feet of it. Thus, few assassins can slip this poison into a goblet because no person would drink from
it given the putrid smell. Not even diluting the poison can remove or lessen the odor.
WOOF, WOOF, HICCUP
Boozehound
FREQUENCY: Very rare
ORGANIZATION: Solitary or Pack
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Omnivore
INTELLIGENCE: Semi- (2-4)
TREASURE: Special
ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good
NO. APPEARING: Variable
ARMOR CLASS: 5
MOVEMENT: 12
HIT DICE: 4
THAC0: 17
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-4
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Teleportation
SIZE: M
MORALE: Steady (11-12)
XP VALUE: 250
The boozehound is a breed of dog with a very keen sense of smell for alcohol. Unlike its cousin the
bloodhound which doesn't have a fondness for blood, the boozehound has an affection for booze (i.e. alcohol).
The boozehound weighs about ninety pounds. The usual color is black with golden-brown markings. The
head is large, with long drooping ears, and many wrinkles on the face. The skull is high and round.
This hound's very sensitive nose enables it to detect alcohol. A boozehound can smell even small traces of
alcohol up to 1000 feet away. And of course, it will want to seek out such alcohol for consumption.
A boozehound has a great fondness for alcohol. Whenever it gets a chance to drink alcohol, a boozehound
will do so. When determining intoxication levels, the boozehound has a Constitution of 1d6+12.
Unfortunately, as a boozehound becomes intoxicated it begins to involuntarily, randomly blink (teleport a
short distance). When in a state of slight intoxication, a boozehound blinks every 1d8 rounds. When in a state
of moderate intoxication, a boozehound blinks every 1d6 rounds. When in a state of great intoxication, a
boozehound blinks every 1d4 rounds. When in a state of comatose intoxication, a boozehound blinks every
1d2 rounds. Roll after each blink. To determine where the dog teleports, roll a 4-sided die: 1 = in front, 2 = to
the left, 3 = to the right, 4 = in back. The distance teleported is 1d4 feet while slightly intoxicated, 1d6 feet
while moderately intoxicated, 1d8 feet while greatly intoxicated, 1d12 feet while comatose. Blinking is an
innate power and the animal will never appear inside a space occupied by a solid object.
This involuntary blink can become quite comical as a drunk boozehound begins popping around as it lies
down to take a nap, or as the boozehound goes for a little stroll but keeps blinking and never quite reaches its
destination.
A boozehound does not suffer the effects of a hangover. All other recovery from intoxication is normal.
Combat: Boozehounds are non-vicious creatures. When forced to fight, they bite for 1d4 points of damage. If
given a constant supply of alcohol, a boozehound becomes extremely docile and lazy.
Habit/Society: Boozehounds do not need alcohol to live, but without it there is no reason for them to live. A
boozehound usually roams the world with a pack of boozehounds searching for civilization where there is
always an ample supply of alcohol. Then its common for a boozehound to take up residence with an owner
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(probably one that owns a tavern or inn). Domesticating a wild roaming boozehound is easy. It only needs to
be house broken, and this can be quite simple if the punishment-reward system is used (with alcohol of
course). There isn't much more domesticating left to do because there is very little the boozehound does
except drink and eat.
The only place in the wild where boozehounds are content to live are the wild-magic power nodes where
magical alcohol elixirs such as Whimsy Wine (q.v. Popular & Strange Alcohols Amongst the Worlds) are
naturally created.
Ecology: Boozehounds seem to be related to bloodhounds and blink dogs, but nobody knows for sure.
A LITTLE WORM CAN'T HURT
Boozeworm
FREQUENCY: Rare
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Special
INTELLIGENCE: Non- (0)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1-2
ARMOR CLASS: 2
MOVEMENT: 12, Br 3
HIT DICE: 1/4 (2 hit points)
THAC0: 20
NO. OF ATTACKS: Nil
DAMAGE/ATTACK: Nil
SIZE: T (1 inch long)
MORALE: Special
XP VALUE: 50
This small worm is greatly feared by almost all people because it is attracted to alcohol. It can smell alcohol
of any type at a distance of 100 feet.
Normally a dark brown, a boozeworm's chameleon-like abilities enable it to instinctively blend into any
background. Its higher Armor Class is due to its speed and agility. If found motionless the boozeworm is
Armor Class 9.
A boozeworm can survive while submerged in liquids as easily as it can in air.
Combat: The boozeworm initially imposes a -7 on its surprise rolls of adventurers because of its color-
changing ability. If the victim can see invisible things, the boozeworm's modifier is reduced to -4. Note that
these chances apply even to creatures normally hard to surprise (like rangers and monks), because of its small
size, speed (very great in proportion to its size), and inoffensive nature. If the boozeworm does initially gain
surprise, it may discover (25%) on the victim's body. Otherwise, it will remain unnoticed unless the victim
hears the boozeworm's noisy slurping (base of 50% chance per round). A feeding boozeworm is motionless
until attacked. After any attack it will flee (if possible) by first jumping 10 feet and then crawling away at top
speed.
The biggest danger of a boozeworm is when it is residing in a cup, mug, goblet, or other drinking vessel. If
a person doesn't detect the boozeworm, then there is a 75% chance that the boozeworm will be consumed by
the person. Once the boozeworm is inside the victim, it can burrow its way out of the victim causing 1d20
points of internal damage. After which, it will jump away from the victim in search of more alcohol.
A boozeworm can burrow through dead wood at a rate of 3 inches per round. A boozeworm can consume
living material but cannot gain nourishment from it. Only alcohol can nourish a boozeworm.
To survive a boozeworm consumes alcohol. A boozeworm can consume 2 ounces of alcohol per round.
The amount of alcohol a boozeworm can take in is unlimited but most won't drink more that a gallon a day.
Actually, a boozeworm can consume a gallon in just over an hour (64 minutes), but prefers to drink leisurely.
The boozeworm must have a minimum of 40 ounces of alcohol a week or it will die.
Habit/Society: A boozeworm lair is always a tavern, storeroom, distillery, breweries, wineries, or any other
place where alcohol is found.
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A breeding pair of boozeworms lay 80 eggs; about half of these hatch a month later. The larvae have less
than hour to find alcohol nourishment, or they die. When first hatched, the larvae are pure white, but they
develop their dark brown color from ingesting the soft woods that most alcohol is contained in. The average
life-span of a boozeworm is two to three years. A boozeworm breeds only once in its lifetime, after which it
dies.
When an adventurer is careless enough to encounter a new breed of boozeworm larvae, he can inflict
incredible damage by carrying them unwittingly with him to other places. A handful of larvae in a jug of wine
that is carried down a city street can find many new homes in the many taverns, inns, distilleries, wineries,
breweries, and powerful person's personal stock.
Ecology: A boozeworm is a relative to the bookworm. Both are dangerous: the boozeworm when swallowed,
the bookworm when near magical tomes. Sages don't know how many more variants of strange worms exist,
but if there are more out there then it can't be good.
A boozeworm will always be attracted to the largest volume of alcohol in an area.
Because of its unusual diet, the boozeworm is a valuable ingredient in various magical, intoxicating elixirs.
The most popular is Tequila. Tequila is a potent alcohol with a dead boozeworm floating in the bottom. Salt,
shake, a little lick of lime...
The boozeworm can be a very useful tool under the right circumstances. Many alcohol establishments have
been put out of business by competitors who have carefully places boozeworms in the booze. Such use of
boozeworms is both difficult and dangerous: difficult because it is hard to keep a boozeworm alive under
captivity, and dangerous because the boozeworm, once released, may not leave its owner. Releasing a
boozeworm at the opponent's place and then having it follow you home is an unpleasant experience at best.
A MONK'S BEST FRIEND AND A LIFE SAVER: THE SAINT

BERNARD
You must be under ten feet of snow by now. The avalanche came out of nowhere and left you buried. Its dark,
its cold, theres no hope... Suddenly, you hear something digging. In a few minutes you see the cute face of a
dog. He licks your face and then helps you get out of the hole he has dug. A small barrel tied to contains
Brandy which warms your stomach. As you continue to drink, the dog begins to bark. In a few moments, three
men in robes come walking over the hill.
Dog, Saint Bernard
CLIMATE/TERRAIN: arctic, subarctic, mountain or Any

FREQUENCY: Common
ORGANIZATION: Solitary or Pack
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Omnivorous
INTELLIGENCE: Semi- (2-4)
TREASURE: Nil
NO. APPEARING: Variable
ARMOR CLASS: 6
MOVEMENT: 12
HIT DICE: 2+2
THAC0: 19
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 2-8 (2d4)
SIZE: M
MORALE: Average (9-10)
XP VALUE: 65
The Saint Bernard is a large intelligent dog that has become famous for rescuing lost travelers. The dog gets
its name from the fact that it was developed by a group of monks in the monastery of Saint Bernard, in the
Alps of Switzerland. Travel in the Alps was mainly foot travel. Travelers often lost their way, or became
buried in sudden snowdrifts or snowstorms. The Saint Bernard was trained to rescue such persons. With its
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wonderful sense of smell, the Saint Bernard could find persons who were buried several feet under the snow.
After it had found the lost traveler, it called out for help by barking loudly. After the rescuers came, the Saint
Bernard led them back to the monastery.
Any AD&D world could have Saint Bernards serve the same function as they did on Earth. A monastery of
clerics found in an arctic, subarctic, or mountain climate and terrain could be developed to rescue travelers.
Also, Saint Bernards can be valued watchdogs for anybody. Furthermore, they are excellent guide dogs and
pets.
Saint Bernards don't always go by this name amongst the various worlds especially in similar situations
(i.e. snowy area where clerics/monks of a monastery help travelers with the use of the dogs). Some alternate
names are:
Name World Campaign Notes

St. Cuthbert Oerth Greyhawk the name alone says it all
Fharlanghn Oerth Greyhawk god of travel
Ilmater Realms Forgotten Realms crying god of suffering
Majere Krynn DragonLance favorite god of monks
Mishakal Krynn DragonLance goddess of healing
If used as a rescuer, a Saint Bernard is generally equipped with a small barrel tied around its neck. The barrel
tends to contain strong alcohol, usually brandy, to warm the endangered person. Some clerics have created a
special potion that cures serious wounds while still keeping the strong alcohol taste and effects.
A Saint Bernard is strong and very tall, measuring two to two and a half feet from the shoulder to the
ground. It weighs from 140 to 220 pounds, and is one of the heaviest of all dogs. The dog has a red and white
body with some black at the head. Its fur may be long but typically it is short. The Saint Bernard has a large,
square head, a short muzzle, and a short strong neck. It has a loud, frightening bark.
Combat: When confronted in combat, a Saint Bernard bites for 2d4 points of damage.
Habit/Society: The Saint Bernard is very loyal and very gentle, particularly to children and the helpless. But
it can be the fierce watchdog and protector at the same time.
The sad-looking Saint Bernard is a large, burly dog, noted for its gentle disposition. The main problem of a
Saint Bernard is its appetite. A Saint Bernard's daily snack includes as much of six pounds of meat.
Ecology: Saint Bernards are omnivorous combining hunting with forging. They are typical of the dog family.
I THINK I SAW A PINK ELEPHANT!!!
Elephant, Pink
CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Subtropical to Tropical jungles and plains

ORGANIZATION: Herd
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Dawn, dusk, early morning, and early evening
DIET: Herbivore
INTELLIGENCE: Semi-
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1-12
ARMOR CLASS: 6
MOVEMENT: 15
HIT DICE: 11
THAC0: 10
NO. OF ATTACKS: 5 (tusk/tusk/trunk/foot/foot)
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 2-16/2-16/2-12/2-12/2-12
SIZE: L (11' tall)
MORALE: Unsteady (7)
XP VALUE: 5000
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One of the most exotic and rare beasts of the jungle, the pink elephant is a prize just to look at let alone
capture.
Pink elephants have thick, baggy pink hides, covered with sparse and very coarse tufts of pink hair. The
elephant's most renowned feature is its trunk, which it uses as a grasping limb.
Combat: An elephant can make up to five attacks at one time in a battle. It can do stabbing damage of 2d8
points with each of its two tusks; constricting damage of 2d6 points with its trunk; and 2d6 points of trampling
damage with each of its front feet. No single opponent can be subject to more than two of these attacks at any
one time. However, the elephant can battle up to six man-sized opponents at one time.
A pink elephant has the ability to shoot a bright spray (5' X 25' X 25' wedge) of dazzling multiple colors
from its trunk. From one eight creatures within the area are affected in order of increasing distance from the
target. All creatures of 7th level or 7 hit dice or more are entitled to a save vs. spell. Blind or unseeing
creatures are not affected by the spell. Creatures not allowed or failing saves, and whose hit dice or levels are
less than or equal to the 11, are struck unconscious for 2d4 rounds; those with hit dice or levels 12 or 13 are
blinded for 1d4 rounds; those with hit dice or levels greater than 13 are stunned (reeling and unable to think or
act coherently) for one round.
The pink elephant has an involuntary defense. When a pink elephant gets nervous, he gets gas. The
elephant will begin burping and farting one round after getting nervous. These actions do not hinder the
elephant in any way (i.e. combat, movement, etc.). They do create pink gas bubbles, roughly six inches in
diameter. 5d4 pink bubbles will come out of his mouth per round and 10d4 pink bubbles will come out of the
other end per round. The elephant continues to produce bubbles until no longer nervous (GM's decision). If
more than 100 bubbles are floating about then they reduce the visibility ranges of all types of vision
(including infravison) to 5 feet. A strong wind such as the wind produced from the gust of wind spell, can
blow the bubbles away. Some bright adventurers might want to bust the bubbles. When a character busts a
bubble, he must make a save vs. poison. Failure indicates that he sucked in the gaseous fumes and he enters a
state of slight intoxication. Continuing to bust bubbles and fail saves causes the character to go up to a state of
moderate intoxication, then state of great intoxication, then state of comatose intoxication.
Habit/Society: Pink elephants are peaceful creatures that travel in a herd. The herd is made up of both male
and female elephants, as well as their young. If a herd of ten or more elephants is encountered, there will be
1d4 young, from 20% to 70% mature, with the group. In the herd, a clear hierarchy exists, with the older
males in a clear position of dominance. Pink elephant herds never have "rogues" leave the herd.
Ecology: Where the pink elephants fit into the grand scheme of nature is unknown. They are considered to be
royalty with respect to the elephant species. They might even be deities of the elephants, although this theory
is left to much debate by sages (who should find better things to do with their time).
A pink elephant captured young becomes a prized possession of royalty. They are not used as beasts of
burden but are rather treated as magical beasts with a divine karma.
Pink elephant tusks are worth 500 to 3000 gold pieces each, or about 20 gp per pound. Tusks are white
with a pink tint. Powered ivory of the pink elephant is used in many magical concoctions, mainly those of a
cosmetic nature. However, powered ivory of the pink elephant has been used as an alcohol additive (q.v.
Alcohol Additives) called Pink Sweet Enricher. This alcohol additive causes any alcohol created from a fruit
to develop a fruitier taste and become excellent in quality no matter what the quality was before.
A HORSE IS A HORSE OF COURSE: THE CLYDESDALES
Horse, Clydesdale
CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any non-

FREQUENCY: Common
ORGANIZATION: Herd
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Herbivore
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: 7
MOVEMENT: 14
HIT DICE: 3+3
THAC0: 17
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NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-4
SIZE: L (16 to 17 hands OR 5 feet to 6 feet)
MORALE: Unsteady (5-7)
XP VALUE: 75
The best draft horse in most lands is the Clydesdale horse. Known for its magnificent beauty and equally
magnificent strength, Clydesdale horses are loved by those few merchants and travelers who can afford this
majestic beast. Clydesdale horses can be trained as war horses but few warriors, especially paladins, will
belittle themselves by riding a draft horse; no matter how grand, it is still a draft horse.
Clydesdale horses are strong, sturdy draft horses (see Horse, MC1). They are faster than the typical draft
horse and can haul more weight than the typical draft horse. A Clydesdale weighs 1500 to 2000 pounds.
Clydesdales' colors are bay, brown, black, chestnut, roan, or gray (becomes lighter colored with age and may
finally turn white). They have white straps on the face, and white legs to knees and hocks.
Combat: Clydesdales fight only when cornered. They attack with a bite that does 1d4 points of damage.
A Clydesdale can be trained as a war horse. A Clydesdale war horse has 3 attacks (bite/hoof/hoof) for 1d8
points of damage each. For more information on war horses see MC1 under the heading HORSE.
A Clydesdale can charge causing the victim to make a save vs. petrifaction or become petrified by the
sight of such a large horse charging. If the save is successful, the victim must make a moral check at -1 or
flee.
Habit/Society: Mares give birth to a single foal which will mature in two years. During this period the foal
will stay as close to the mother at all times.
In the wild a herd of Clydesdales will consist mostly of females and immature male horses. There will
usually be only one dominate male horse. Herds are usually lead by a mature female or matriarch. This
dominance will often continue into domestication, with female horses being a team leader.
Clydesdales can carry great weights for long periods of time. A Clydesdale's normal carrying capacity is
270. A Clydesdale's encumbered, half-speed load is 400. A Clydesdale's fully encumbered, 1/3 movement
load is 530.
Ecology: Clydesdales feed on food typical of all horses. Their favorite food is grain with a touch of honey.
Horse, Volatilis Clydesdale
CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Temperate and subtropical forests

ORGANIZATION: Herd
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Herbivore
TREASURE: Nil
NO. APPEARING: 5-50
ARMOR CLASS: 6
MOVEMENT: 14, FL 28 (C, D mounted)
HIT DICE: 4
THAC0: 17
NO. OF ATTACKS: 3
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-8/1-8/1-4
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Dive, rear kick
MORALE: Steady (11)
XP VALUE: 150
Volatilis Clydesdale horses are magnificent flying beasts that charge through the air with their powerful
hooves.
Volatilis Clydesdale horses appear as slightly larger Clydesdale Horses. A Volatilis Clydesdale has no
wings but has the power of fight. Although not thoroughly understood, a Volatilis Clydesdale can leave the
ground at will and continue on through the air as long as it keeps moving (the horse must continue to move its
legs, whether running or trotting, or it will plummet to the ground). When a Volatilis Clydesdale moves
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through air, strange white lightening sparks from its hooves. A magnificent view in a dark sky. When a herd
of Volatilis Clydesdales take to the sky, the sound of thunder rips through the heavens.
Combat: A Volatilis Clydesdale attacks with its hooves and teeth. It can attack an opponent who is behind it
with its rear hooves, inflicting 2-12 points of damage, but it cannot use any of its other attacks in that round. A
Volatilis Clydesdale can also charge downward at an opponent from heights of 50 feet or higher and use its
hoof attacks, each attack roll is +2 and does double damage.
Habit/Society: Volatilis Clydesdales can be trained as a war horses at an early age, but only by the most
skilled trainers. The only known riders of Volatilis Clydesdales are Storm Giants.
Male and female Volatlis Clydesdales are equal in the herd. The leader is the horse that wants it or gets
thrown into the position. Most Volatilis Clydesdales prefer to remain part of the many where they have the
most freedom.
They can carry great weights for long periods of time. A Volatilis Clydesdale's normal carrying capacity is
290. A Volatilis Clydesdale's encumbered, half-speed load is 420. A Volatilis Clydesdale's fully encumbered,
1/3 movement load is 550.
Ecology: Volatilis Clydesdales feed on grass, fruits, and other plants. Griffons and hippogriffs are the natural
enemies of a Volatilis Clydesdales.
Horse, Pravus Clydesdale
ORGANIZATION: Herd
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Carnivore
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral Evil
NO. APPEARING: 1-20
ARMOR CLASS: 5
MOVEMENT: 14
HIT DICE: 5
THAC0: 15
NO. OF ATTACKS: 3
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Steam, Berserk Rage
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Fear Aura
MORALE: Steady (11)
XP VALUE: 150
The evil relative in the Clydesdale breed, Pravus Clydesdale horses are sinister. Sages do not know why or
how this horse got into the natural mix of things, but all agree that the world would be better off without them.
Pravus Clydesdale horses appear as slightly larger Clydesdale Horses. Pravus Clydesdales' colors are black
and various shades of grey. They have white straps on the face, and white legs to knees and hocks.
A Pravus Clydesdale has a natural aura of fear about it. The aura has a radius of 10 feet. Creatures entering
the aura will turn away and flee in panic for 1d6+6 if a successful save vs. spell is not made. Any Clydesdale
whether a Pravus, a Volatilis, a normal Clydesdale, or a horse with at least 50% Clydesdale blood is immune
to the fear aura.
Combat: A Pravus Clydesdale will fiercely attack anything which it deems as a threat to itself or its lair.
Clydesdale attacks with its hooves and teeth.
A Pravus Clydesdale can charge causing the victim to make a save vs. petrifaction (-3 modifier) or become
petrified by the sight of such a large horse charging. If the save is successful, the victim must make a moral
check at -3 or flee.
A Pravus Clydesdale has a powerful steam attack. Once every turn, the horse can blow scourging steam
from its nostrils at a target with 5 feet of its head (or a target engaged in frontal melee with the horse). The
steam will cause 2d6+3 points of damage.
After being angered, for over 1 turn, a Pravus Clydesdale can enter a berserk rage. When berserk, the
Pravus Clydesdale has phenomenal endurance to pain and some forms of magic. While berserk, the horse
gains the following benefits and hindrances:
- The horse gets a +1 to attack, +3 to damage, and +5 hp.

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- While berserk, the horse must fight each opponent until that opponent is
down. Once an opponent falls, the horse must attack the nearest enemy and
attack him.
- It is immune (no save is necessary) to the mage spells charm monster,
friends, hypnotism, sleep, irritation, ray of enfeeblement, scar, geas, and
the clerical spells command, charm monster or mammal, enthrall, cloak of
bravery, and symbol.
- It gets a +4 to save against mage spells blindness, Tasha's uncontrollable
hideous laughter, hold monster, charm monster, and confusion, and the
clerical spells hold monster and hold animal.
- The emotion spell has no effect unless the caster chose the fear result. If
fear was chosen, the horse gets a normal save; if the horse makes it, it
continues on as before, but if it fails, the horse is prematurely snapped
out of its berserk rage, with all normal effects of coming out of the rage
(but he doesn't suffer any other fear effect). The fear spell has exactly
the same effect. If the horse fails a save vs. charm monster, it simply
counts the caster as one of his allies; it doesn't come out of the berserk
rage or obey the caster's command.
- Being berserk offers no real protection from finger of death, except that
the spell effects do not take place until the horse has come out of his
rage. If the horse saves, it doesn't suffer the 2d8+1 damage until
immediately after it snaps out of the rage. If the horse fails the save, it
doesn't die until the rage is over.
- The horse is temporarily unaffected by the by the cleric spells bless, cure
light wounds, aid, cure serious wounds, cure critical wounds, heal, and
regenerate (and wither). The horse will gain the benefits of those spells
after it has come out other rage and suffered any and all damages which
occurred then.
- The taunt spell is automatically successful, and will cause the horse to
abandon its current enemy and charge to attack the taunter.
The berserk rage lasts until the last enemy has following. When the horse comes out of the rage, it loses the 5
hp gained when entering the berserk rage. The horse suffers the effects of any spells which wait until the rage
is over before affecting it.
Habit/Society: They can carry great weights for long periods of time. A Pravus Clydesdale's normal carrying
capacity is 290. A Pravus Clydesdale's encumbered, half-speed load is 420. A Pravus Clydesdale's fully
encumbered, 1/3 movement load is 550.
Almost impossible to tame, Pravus Clydesdales have only been none to be trained as steeds to liches,
possibly the only creature with enough power and evil to take on such a deed.
Ecology: Pravus Clydesdales are meat eaters. The are fierce predators that are only dominated by those
creatures that can eat them (few indeed).
WHAT JUST FLEW IN MY DRINK? AN ALCOHOL

HUMMINGBIRD
Alcohol Hummingbird
CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Indoors; Pubs, Inns and Taverns

ORGANIZATION: Band
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Nil
INTELLIGENCE: Animal
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
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NO. APPEARING: 1 (1-4)
ARMOR CLASS: -4
MOVEMENT: 48", Class A
HIT DICE: 1d2 hp
THAC0: N/A
NO. OF ATTACKS: 0
DAMAGE/ATTACK: N/A
SIZE: T (4")
MORALE: Putrid (1)
XP VALUE: 0
The alcohol hummingbird is a small, winged avian which feeds off of alcoholic spirits. It appears very similar
to the normal hummingbird, which looks like any other small bird, except that when in flight, their wings beat
so fast that they appear as only a blur to any observer. They are also able to hover in place, and dart from
place to place, accelerating to full speed or coming to a complete stop instantly.
Alcohol hummingbirds are very colorful, having bright red, green and yellow plumage. But because of
their speed this does not make them easier to spot.
Combat: Unlike their wild counterparts these tiny creatures will not flee immediately from any large creature.
Unless they detect some danger to themselves. They have no attack forms, and cannot do damage. Their
ability to dart about makes them extremely difficult to hit in combat, and their speed allows them to avoid
almost any predator. Also because of their quick movements, they almost always surprise (+5 on surprise
rolls) anyone coming upon them. Their speed often allows them to escape even before being detected.
Habit/Society: These unique creatures were created as pets and curiosities for small taverns and inns. They
retain the natural curiosity of their wild cousins. Often darting in and out of cabinets and closets in search of
food. To keep alive the Alcohol Hummingbird must consume alcohol, this helps to keep them from escaping
to the wild and makes sure that they return to their home. They often get into trouble poking around customers
drinks, getting in the way of dart games, looking for a drink to sustain themselves. Hummingbirds often form
patterns that are hard for others to notice as they seem to randomly dart from table to table looking for a drink.
Only the hummingbird knows the pattern and only through careful observation will the pattern be detected. If
more than one hummingbird is encountered they will always be a mated pair and one or two chicks. Alcohol
hummingbirds mate for life and the death of a partner will often lead to the wasting away and death of the
surviving partner.
Ecology: The Alcohol Hummingbird is not a natural animal, it lives off of the alcohol provided by its owners
and is almost totally dependant on them. The hummingbird must drink four times its weight in alcohol every
day to keep alive. Because of its small size it must spread its drinks over several hours. The hummingbird
often gets its drinks out of the mugs and glasses of the guests at the inn or tavern. The hummingbird never
shows signs of becoming drunk like other creatures, when it is full it will often return to its nest in the rafters
or in a specially constructed box. If for some reason the hummingbird drinks from a particularly strong drink
it will move at double its normal rate for two rounds.
It is possible to find Alcohol Hummingbirds in the wild, but it would have to be a special, even magical
place, where they could obtain alcohol to drink. An example of a such places would be Whimsy Wine (q.v.
Popular & Strange Alcohols Amongst the Worlds) springs. Alcohol Hummingbird are commonly found
around such magical places.
YO-HO-HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM, A NEW SEA-SIDE
SKELETON
The ghost ship slowly approaches your ship, cutting the thick fog like a bastard sword. You believe the ship
has no crew until eerie skeleton shapes walk onto the deck. Suddenly, one of the skeletons tosses a bottle at
you that strikes your head. As you fall to the deck, the last think you hear is the singing of old pirate song "Yo
Ho Ho..."
Skeleton, Yo-Ho-Ho
ORGANIZATION: Band
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Nil
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INTELLIGENCE: Non- (0)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 3-30 (3d10)
ARMOR CLASS: 7
MOVEMENT: 12
HIT DICE: 1+2
THAC0: 19
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-6 (weapon)
SPECIAL ATTACKS:
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Special
SIZE: M (6' tall)
MORALE: Special
XP VALUE: 75
Yo-Ho-Ho skeletons are magical undead monsters, created by a strange necromancer. The necromancer was
fascinated with pirates and wanted to make his own pirate crew. Unfortunately, he was somewhat insane and
made these comical skeletons. Of course, he is dead now but his notes still exist so Yo-Ho-Hoes live on
through the works of other necromancers. Why they want to create such whimsical skeletons is unknown.
Yo-Ho-Hoes appear to have no ligaments or musculature which would allow movement. Instead, the bones
are magically joined together during casting of an animate dead spell. Skeletons have no eyes or internal
organs.
A Yo-Ho-Ho wears a black pirate hat with the preverbal skull and crossbones on it. They wield a cutlass in
one hand and a bottle of rum in the other.
Yo-Ho-Hoes can only be made from the bones of sea-faring humans or demihumans.
Combat: While Yo-Ho-Hoes engage in combat, they sing a hearty tune by Allison and Waller:
YO HO HO
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike

The bosun brained with a marlinspike
And cookey's throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, all good dead men
Like break o'day in a boozing ken
Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
The skipper lay with his nob in gore

Where the scullion's axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, and the soggy skies
Dripped down in up-staring eyes
In murk sunset and foul sunrise
Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark

Ten of the crew had the murder mark!
'Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead

Or a yawing hole in a battered head
And the scuppers' glut with a rotting red
And there they lay, aye, damn my eyes
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Looking up at paradise
All souls bound just contrawise
Fifteen men of 'em good and true

Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed with Old Pew,
There was chest on chest of Spanish gold

With a ton of plate in the middle hold
And the cabins riot of stuff untold,
And they lay there that took the plum
With sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
While we shared all by the rule of thumb,

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight

With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight
And we heaved 'em over and out of sight,
With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well
And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell,
A flimsy girl on a bunker cot

With a dirk slit sheer through the bosom spot
And the lace stiff dry in a purplish rot
Oh was she wench or was she jade
Or was she just a shuddering maid?
She dared the knife and she took the blade
(Note: From a 1901 Broadway musical. Inspired by quatrain in Stevenson's Treasure Island. Reportedly,
"Dead Man's Chest" was a Caribbean island rendezvous of buccaneers and smugglers. Last verse supplied by
JY, other printed in Songs of the Navy, USNA RG)
Yo-Ho-Hoes fight proficiently with a cutlass; Damage: S-M: 1d6, L: 1d8; Speed Factor: 5). They do not
suffer any negative effects while fighting because of their magical nature as normal skeletons do.
A Yo-Ho-Ho's other attack is the ability to throw bottles. A rum bottle will magically appear in a Yo-Ho-
Ho's hand (the hand without the cutlass). The Yo-Ho-Ho can throw the bottle up to 50 feet. The bottle will
break upon contact doing 1d4 points of damage. The bottle contains rum that will ignite if any flames are near
(within 2 yards) the bottle when it breaks. Another bottle will replace a tossed bottle immediately. The bottle
and its contents are not magical. The rum in the bottle is of excellent quality if it can be taken intact.
Yo-Ho-Hoes are immune to all sleep, charm, and hold spells. Because they are assembled from bones,
cold-based attacks also do Yo-Ho-Hoes no harm. The fact that they are mostly empty means that edged or
piercing weapons (like swords, daggers, and spears) inflict only half-damage when employed against Yo-Ho-
Hoes. Blunt weapons, with larger heads designed to break and crush bones, cause normal damage against Yo-
Ho-Hoes. Fire also does normal damage against Yo-Ho-Hoes. Holy water inflicts 2-8 points of damage per
vial striking the skeleton.
Skeletons are immune to fear spells and need never check morale, usually being magically commanded to
fight to the death. When a Yo-Ho-Ho dies, it falls to pieces with loud clunks and rattles.
Habit/Society: Yo-Ho-Hoes have no social life or interesting habits. They can be found anywhere there is a
wizard powerful enough and a eccentric enough to make them. Oddly, clerics are currently unable to make
Yo-Ho-Hoes, mainly because no cleric has pursued such avenues. Mages create Yo-Ho-Hoes because the
recipe already exists.
Yo-Ho-Hoes have almost no minds whatsoever, and can obey only the simplest one- or two-phrase orders
from their creators. Yo-Ho-Hoes fight in unorganized masses and tend to botch complex orders disastrously.
A Yo-Ho-Ho retains sea-faring memories of its formal life. If a person gets a chance to actually talk to a
Yo-Ho-Ho, the Yo-Ho-Ho will tell tales of the high seas. Very little practical information can be obtained, the
Yo-Ho-Ho can only tell stories, tales, and legends of the high seas as he knows it; not valuable information
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like ship layouts, battle strategies, etc.. GM's should understand that this ability should only be used to add
flavor to the creature, not to be abused. A GM may want to allow a Yo-Ho-Ho tell a tale of sunken treasure
and create an exciting adventure from there.
Ecology: The process for creating Yo-Ho-Hoes is more complicated then the process for a simple skeleton.
GMs should decide the process and materials need. Suggested materials are a sea-faring skeleton, an animate
dead spell, salt water, aged rum, high-quality bottles, a parchment containing the pirate song, and a high-
quality cutlass.
Writer's Note: Inspired by the Pirates of the Caribbean at DisneyLand. The skeleton pirates can be found at
the beginning of the ride.
THAT LICH IS A LUCH
Luch
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Night
DIET: Nil
INTELLIGENCE: Supra-Genius (19-20)
TREASURE: A
ALIGNMENT: Any
NO. APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: 0
MOVEMENT: 6
HIT DICE: 11+
THAC0: 10
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-10
SPECIAL ATTACKS: See below
SPECIAL DEFENSES: +1 or better magical weapon to hit
SIZE: M (6' tall)
MORALE: Fanatic (17-18)
XP VALUE: 7000
The luch is a special variant of lich (MC1). A luch is created when a wizard of at least 18th level dies from
acute alcohol intoxication or alcohol poisoning. At this point, the dead wizard must pass a system shock check
and then a save vs. death at -4. If both rolls are successful, the wizard enters a bizarre state of alcoholic
undeath.
The luch is always in a state of at least mild intoxication, and always seeks out more alcohol to ease it's
insatiable thirst. It takes three times as much alcohol to move a luch to the next state of drunkenness as when
the wizard was alive. A luch will only stop seeking alcohol in a 24 hour period after drinking at least two
quarts liquor, 10 to 14 quarts of wine, or 16 to 20 quarts of beer, ale, or mead. After 24 hours, the luch returns
to a state of mild intoxication and renews it's quest for alcohol. Unfortunately for tavern owners, the luch
retains all of it's spellcasting abilities and won't hesitate to use them to get at any source of alcohol.
Combat: Unlike the lich's aura of fear, the luch radiates an aura of drunkenness which increases the level of
intoxication of any being that has ever consumed any alcoholic beverage by one level (note: lifetime
teetotalers are immune). It's touch will cause extreme intoxication in any being which fails a save vs. spells
(duration is 4-16 days). An unfortunate side effect of these abilities is that any being effected by either ability
will suffer the worst possible hangover upon sobering up.
Should the luch elect to touch a living creature, its touch cause 1-10 points of cold damage.
Luches can themselves be hit only by weapons of at least +1, by magical spells, or by monsters with 6 or
more Hit Dice and/or magical properties. The magical nature of the luch and its undead state make it utterly
immune to charm, sleep, enfeeblement, polymorph, cold, electricity, insanity, or death spells. Priests of at
least 8th level can attempt to turn a lich, as can paladins of no less than 10th level.
Habitat/Society: Luches are solitary creatures. They want little to do with the world of the living except
when the drive of alcohol is great, which is almost all the time.
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A luch will make its home in some fortified area, often in crypts or sewers of where populous area where
alcohol is readily found.
A luch's supra-genius intelligence allows it to create masterful plans to get alcohol. For example, one luch
actually took control of a city's entire alcohol trade running it from deep in the earth where he was surrounded
with an ample supply of beer, mead, and ale vats. Thus, a luch is more than a crazed creature who bangs down
tavern doors to get booze.
Ecology: The luch is not a thing of this world. Although once a living creature, it has entered into an
unnatural existence.
A DRAGON WITH MORE THAN A DRINKING PROBLEM
Wine, that mounts us to the skies.
--- Francois Rabelais
Good wine is a good familiar creature, if it be well used.
--- William Shakespeare

from Othello
Dragon, Alcohol
ORGANIZATION: Solitary or clan
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Special
INTELLIGENCE: High (13-14)
TREASURE: Special
ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral
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NO. APPEARING: 1 (2-5)
ARMOR CLASS: 4 (base)
MOVEMENT: 9, FL 30(C)
HIT DICE: 13 (base)
THAC0: 15 (6 HD) or 13 (7-8 HD)
NO. OF ATTACKS: 3 (claw/claw/bite)
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Variable
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Variable
SIZE: G (40' base)
MORALE: Fanatic (17)
XP VALUE: Variable
Age Body Lgt.(') Tail Lgt.(') AC Breath Weapon

1 3-8 2-6 2 2d4+1
2 8-16 4-12 1 4d4+2
3 16-27 12-20 -0 6d4+3
4 27-38 20-30 -1 8d4+4
5 38-50 30-40 -2 10d4+5
6 50-59 40-50 -3 12d4+6
7 59-73 50-60 -4 14d4+7
8 73-86 60-70 -5 16d4+8
9 86-100 70-80 -6 18d4+9
10 100-114 80-90 -7 20d4+10
11 114-130 90-100 -8 22d4+11
12 130-147 100-110 -9 24d4+12
Age Crushing Att. Spells MR Treas. Type XP Value

1 1d20+1 Nil Nil Nil 1,400
2 2d20+2 Nil Nil Nil 2,000
3 3d20+3 Nil Nil Nil 4,000
4 4d20+4 Nil Nil 1/2HS 6,000
5 5d20+5 Nil 10% HS 9,000
6 6d20+6 Nil 15% HS 10,000
7 7d20+7 Nil 20% HS 11,000
8 8d20+8 Nil 25% HSx2 12,000
Age Crushing Att. Spells MR Treas. Type XP Value
9 9d20+9 Nil 30% HSx2 14,000
10 10d20+10 Nil 35% HSx2 16,000
11 11d20+11 Nil 40% HSx3 17,000
12 12d20+12 Nil 45% HSx3 18,000
Alcohol dragons are some of the most interesting and somewhat insane dragons. They are the essence of every
drunk found in any tavern throughout the worlds. They are pranksters, joke tellers, and riddlers (although they
seldom make sense). They're also moody creatures being quick tempered at one moment to humorously
pleasant the next. They still love to talk and are quite the conversationalists. Listening is another quality of
them. They love tall tales, epic poems and songs. As well as tales of stupid and misguided fools and humorous
tales. Furthermore, they love games of all types and appreciate such.
Alcohol dragons tend to have dopey looks and an appearance of poor health. Many hapless adventurers
have been fatally fooled by the dragon's delicate look. They're still dragons, and should not be taken lightly!
At birth, an alcohol dragon's scales are bright pink with a tint of baby blue. As the dragon gets older, the
scales become finer and a soft color of bluish-white sets in. When the dragon becomes a young adult, it
develops a chameleon power (in the sense of being able to change its color, but not multiple colors). This
power allows the dragon to change its color to any it wishes. The changing of color isn't instance and takes a
few weeks, plus the dragon doesn't like to implement it to often. Most alcohol dragons like to be bright cheery
colors like yellow, blue, or pink ("I thought <<hiccup>> I saw a <<hiccup>> pink dragon."). However, some
may mimic other dragons for a practical joke.
Alcohol Dragons speak their own slurred tongue, a slurred variation of the tongue common to all neutral
dragons, and 15% of hatchling alcohol dragons have an ability to communicate with any intelligent creature.
The chance to possess this ability increases 5% per age category of the dragon.
Combat: Alcohol dragons dislike killing creatures above animal intelligence. The main reason they avoid
fighting is that they suffer a -2 penalty to hit because they're drunk on their own breath weapon. However,
they will fight when necessary. They like to taunt and annoy their opponents, hoping they will give up or
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become angry and act foolishly. An alcohol dragon's favorite attack is a crushing attack in which it simply
body flops onto it's opponents, save vs. paralyzation for half damage.
Breath weapon/special abilities: An alcohol dragon has three breath weapons. The first breath weapon of the
alcohol dragon is, of course, alcohol. The form of this breath weapon is a 70' long and 5' wide stream of
alcohol and gas. Creatures caught in the gas stream must save vs. breath weapon or take full damage and go
into a state of great intoxication and suffer the effects of this state. A successful save for half damage.
The second breath weapon is a 10' long and 5' long transparent, bluish breath. It causes no damage, but
characters in the line of fire enter a state of great intoxication for 1d10 rounds. Fumes from this breath weapon
will linger for 2d10 rounds, so characters should take precautions to avoid it's effects. Alcohol dragons use
this breath weapon as a defensive mechanism rather than offensive.
The third breath weapon is highly unusual, more dangerous then the first, and is in the form of a hiccup. A
special stomach serves to mix fatty secretions (natural body "gas"). The resulting goop produces the hiccup
breath weapon, a bubble cloud similar to that produced by a horn of bubbles. The cloud is 60' long, 50' wide,
and 20' high, and it lasts 2-12 rounds. Anyone trapped in this cloud is painfully blinded for 4-16 rounds due to
goop in his eyes, making magic virtually impossible to cast; this places a -6 penalty on all attack rolls, saves,
and damage (1 hp damage minimum), and negates dexterity bonuses to armor class. Movement is random as
the affected person stumbles around. A successful save vs. breath weapon indicates that the character closed
his eyes before the goop affected them, in which case only the normal penalties for fighting blind apply,
without the distraction caused by the pain of the goop in the eyes. If the victim's eyes are protected, as by
goggles, the obscuring effects alone are operative, giving only a-2 modifier to hit for as long as the bubbles
last. There is no save against the obscurement effect, as the cloud also affects infravision and ultravision.
When the bubble cloud is in place, the dragon merely closes its transparent protective third eyelids and using
a bat-like sonar, attacks.
At birth, alcohol dragons are immune to poison. As they age, they gain the following additional powers:
Young: neutralize poison three times a day. Juvenile: create food and water three times a day. Adult:
polymorph self three times a day. Alcohol dragons love to visit taverns and inns to party with the mortals.
Habit/Society: Alcohol Dragons tend to favor warm climates, preferably near vineyards. They prefer wooded
in areas with fields close by, but they can live in caves just as easily.
Some societies actually respect alcohol dragons, mainly for their potent alcohol secretions. Some clerics
obtain the alcohol from the glands of an alcohol dragon for rites of passage. If a person drinks the alcohol and
lives then he is a man, death is the other option. A person who drinks it must save vs. death or die. A
successful save gives the person a permanent +1 to constitution and +1 to wisdom. A person may only benefit
from this once.
They have few enemies and enjoy the company of normal races (i.e. humans, elves, dwarves, etc.).
Alcohol dragons find them stimulating and fun-loving races. Alcohol dragons are also found in the company
of copper dragons and pink dragons (DRAGON magazine). In fact some sages claim that the alcohol dragons
are offspring of these dragons. This theory seems adequate giving their pink color at birth, the bubble breath
weapon, and the copper dragon sense of humor.
Ecology: Like other dragons, alcohol dragons can eat almost anything if the need arises. They prefer to eat
plants and trees then animal life. They would also rather eat metal ore then take the life of a creature (unless
the creature is trying to cause harm).
THE GUARDIAN OF ALCOHOL IS A LEPRECHAUN?
Come, thou monarch of the vine,

Plumpy Bacchus with pink eyne.
--- Shakespeare
Wine is life.
--- Petronius
Eat thy bread with joy and drink thy wine with a merry heart.
--- Ecclesiates 9:7
A meal without wine is like a day without sun.

A meal without wine is like life without laughter.
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--- Anon
"King" Lohocla: The Guardian of Alcohol
RACE: Leprechaun
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
HIT DICE: 1
HIT POINTS: 8
MOVEMENT: 15
MAGIC RESISTANCE: 90%

SIZE: T (2' tall)
INTELLIGENCE: 18
CONSTITUTION: 20
Lohocla is The Guardian of Alcohol. Sages aren't sure if he is a deity. If he is a god, Lohocla is probably
worshiped by the leprechauns or other wee folk. Some sages speculate that he is the famed King of the
Leprechauns, but this is manly based on his nickname. One interesting fact is that he doesn't have a surname
(as far as anybody knows) which isn't common amongst leprechauns. To the more standard races (human, elf,
dwarf, etc.), Lohocla is a powerful leprechaun who isn't afraid of much and enjoys a good party. Most enjoy
his company and have a great respect for this oddity. Others think of him as a demon of booze.
He dresses in the standard leprechaun clothes: green coat, green breeches, pointed shoes. He is best
recognized by his bright red brimmed hat.
Lohocla has a great knowledge of alcohol any anything minutely related to it. He can tell exactly what a
drink is, where its from, who made it, when it was made, and any other obscure detail about it merely by
sampling it.
Lohocla has the standard leprechaun powers. His favorite power being the ability to create illusions. Its
one of the best ways to have some fun with a tanked person. The ability to snatch valuable items successfully
is 95% instead of the standard 75% (hey, he is powerful). He, also, has a Teleport Without Error ability,
which comes in very handy with mad, combative drunks.
Of course, Lohocla enjoys eating all types of foods. His fondness for wine is equal to all leprechauns. In
fact, one of his main reasons for travel is to find unique wines to sample. But, Lohocla is never one to turn
away an interesting alcohol drink of any kind. He loves his booze. In fact, Lohocla is the ideal boozer. He has
a conscious immunity to all effects of alcohol. Being a conscious ability, Lohocla may waiver this ability to
become inebriated. The main reason he waivers this immunity is so that he may challenge (or be challenged)
in a drinking contest. Usually, he gives any winners a prize. The prize may be a wish, but this is to general.
Lohocla prefers to give them something alcohol related: a barrel of valuable and rare alcohol, an increase in
constitution, an alcohol non-weapon skill, a magical goblet or tankard, a vineyard, secret brew recipe, a large
bar tab, a copy of his glorious spell book, etc.. He may (25% chance) be bitter after a loss (the way of
neutrals) and might penalize the challenger.
Lohocla does have a hoard of treasure. Most of it is coinage to pay for all his expenses. However, he does
have a grand collection of tankards, mugs, and such.
Lohocla loves all people who love alcohol. There is no prejudice or racism when with a pitcher of "sauce".
In fact he is very helpful to weaken creatures as all leprechauns do.
SOME MAGIC ITEMS THAT LOHOCLA POSSESSES
Wooden Barrel of Flight - A favorite form of transportation. This barrel is of medium size. Movement rate is
25". The barrel is always filled with a pleasant liquid. Lohocla enjoys this form of transportation because it is
flashy, fun, practical, and full of good "spirits".
Portable Lair Pipe - This pipe creates a non-dimensional space that Lohocla uses as his lair. This space has
roughly a five cubic mile area. Among other things, Lohocla has a castle, vineyard, forest, lake, and his
treasure in this space.
Climate is controlled by Lohocla. He usually keeps it very comfortable: breezy and sunny. In this space,
creatures don't age, and natural healing and curing take place at twice the normal rate.
Activation is done by Lohocla placing the pipe in his mouth and him thinking of the space. The pipe, all
his possessions, and anything else that he is touching and desires to take with him (e.g. other people) will be
transported there.
When Lohocla (and guests if any) leave this space, he (they) returns to any place he desires. Usually it will
be in a place where nobody is present, so that he doesn't startle anybody.
Lohocla keeps knowledge of the pipe's powers and his lair a secret.
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THE MYTHOS
Each year games are held (greek-style Olympics) to decide the champion of the land. The champion is
sacrificed to the Agriculture Goddess on the first day of spring so that the grain may grow and be harvested.
The goddess appears "in person" each year to take the sacrifice to her halls within the earth where they are
wed, consummate the marriage, and the champion sacrificed.
One year the goddess failed to appear and that year the crops failed. The next year, the goddess again
failed to appear and the land was threatened with famine. The third year, the goddess failed to appear and that
year's champion was sent on a quest to find out why the goddess was failing to appear. The champion was
Ebrietas.
Ebrietas sought out the seer Ogidru, the one born with no eyes. Eventually, Ebrietas found Ogidru living in
the base of an extinct volcano, many, many miles away. Ogidru told Ebrietas that the goddess had been
kidnapped by Ten-Yagri the god of spite, hatred, and murder. Nobody knew where Ten-Yagri was holding the
goddess, but if Ebrietas traveled to the halls of the goddess he would be able to track her with the aid of a
magic stone that Ogidru gave him. The only catch was that only Ebrietas' soul could make the journey, his
body could not pass into the halls and live, and that if his soul was killed there then his body would also die.
The price for the aid and information that Ogidru provided was that Ebrietas had to bring back his eyes which
Ten-Yagri began using after he stole them from Ogidru when Ogidru was still in his mothers womb. (Ogidru
is the child of a god and a mortal, Ten-Yagri was blinded by the other gods for slaying his brother in envy).
Ebrietas' soul descended into the halls of the goddess where he meet with the souls of the previous two
years sacrifices. Together they set out to track the goddess and rescue her. The other two champions were
killed on the journey, heroically sacrificing themselves so that Ebrietas could continue his quest.
Ebrietas finally found the goddess but had to first fight Ten-Yagri in order to free her from his prison. The
goddess gave Ebrietas the nectar of the gods so that he might have the power to defeat Ten-Yagri (this drink
was the first form of alcohol). Eventually Ebrietas defeated Ten-Yagri and freed the goddess. However,
Ebrietas was mortally wounded. Upon the point of death, the goddess in gratitude made Ebrietas immortal and
granted him godhood with the dominion of the nectar of the gods and the happiness of man. The goddess also
took Ebrietas her husband and gave him the twins Vinumus and Excitarus.
Back in Ogidru's lair the body of Ebrietas died but in it's hand's the body held the eyes of Ogidru with
which allowed Ogidru could see again but lost his seer abilities.
During her captivity the goddess was raped on several occasions by Ten-Yagri with the result of four new
gods being born. These are Famine, Disease, Pestilence, and Despair. It is Despair that rapes his mother (the
goddess) with the result of Malus Temulentia.
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THE ALCOHOL DEITIES
No thing more excellent nor more valuable than

wine was ever granted mankind by God.
--- Plato
If God forbade drinking would He have made wine so good?
--- Richelieu
Ebrietas is the deity of alcohol in general and the happiness that comes from drunkenness. Malus Temulentia
is the deity of liquors. Vinumus is the deity of wines. Excitarus is the deity of beers, ales, and meads.
Vinumus and Excitarus are natural brothers and sons of the Goddess of Agriculture and Ebrietas. Malus
Temulentia's mother is also the Goddess of Agriculture but his father is unknown but is believed to be the God
of War or the God of Death. It is also unknown if the goddess was raped, seduced, charmed, or consented to
copulation.
EBRIETAS (THE HAPPY DRINKER)
Portfolio: Blissful drink, drunkenness, euphoria, festivals, celebrations.
Ebrietas represents the good that comes from drinking alcoholic beverages. Alcohol is safer to drink then
tainted water that often exists in populated areas. Alcohol relaxes people, makes them friendlier, allows them
to forget their misery and pain and allows them to enjoy life. Alcohol is used by all castes of people. Whether
poor or rich, all cherish alcohol and thus are brought together as a people.
Ebrietas is the proud father to both Vinumus and Excitarus. Unfortunately, there is a god who doesn't
respect Ebrietas as his sons do. That god is the evil Malus Temulentia.
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Ebrietas takes the form of many races. His favorite form is a jolly halfling, but sometimes appears as a
burly human, a handsome elf, a sturdy dwarf, or a clever gnome.
Alignment: The deity is lawful good. His priests may chaotic good, neutral good, or lawful good. The flock
may be of any alignment.
Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 9, Constitution 12. Wisdom or Constitution of 16 means +05%
experience. Wisdom and Constitution of 16 means +10% experience.
Races Allowed: Any (commonly dwarves, elves, gnomes, halflings, humans).
Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Bartending, Drinking (Boozing), Drinking Skills/Tricks, Toasting.

Recommended: Disguise Drunkenness/ Hangover, Wine tasting.
Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Swizzle stick.
Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are swizzle stick, tankard, bottle, and staff. No armor.
Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Guidance, Tasting and Protecting the peaceful consumption of alcohol,
Marriage, Judging of disturbing, non- peaceful, or unlawful persons when required.
Spheres of Influence: Major Access to All, Guardian, Protection. Minor Access to Creation, Plant, Healing.
Powers & Benefits:
- The specialty priest is immune to alcohol poisoning (but not drunkenness).
- The specialty priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from beer, ale, mead, or wine. Liquors cause
normal hangovers.
- The specialty priest receives a +2 bonus to all reaction rolls when they are friendly.
- The priest gains a +5 to Constitution ability checks as they pertain to alcohol.
- At 5th level, the specialty priest can create a quart of average quality beer, ale, mead, or wine twice per day.
- At 7th level, the specialty priest can charm a person while sharing alcohol drinks. This power works three
times per day.
Limitations & Hindrances:
- Unholy alcohol is poison to specialty priests and clerics of Ebrietas. Those that consume unholy alcohol
must make a save vs. poison or suffer an additional 4d4 points of damage.
- Ebrietas is the hated enemy of Malus Temulentia. This hatred is in the followers of Malus Temulentia. Thus,
Ebrietas' priests are in the most danger of harm from the followers of Malus Temulentia who wish to destroy
Ebrietas by destroying his worshippers. Ebrietas' priests are always be on guard of such danger.
- The specialty priest who becomes hostile while intoxicated has dishonored himself and Ebrietas and must
repent or will suffer the wrath of Ebrietas. Note that exceptions can be made when the priest is provoked and
all attempts at a peaceful resolution have been made. This punishment will be decided upon by the high priest
of the nearest temple of Ebrietas. Repentance usually comes in the form of a quest, a menial task, monetary
loss, etc..
Followers and Strongholds: At 9th level, the priest receives the following followers: 3 fourth level priests, 4
second level priests, 6 first level priests, 10 clerics, and 11-20 normal followers. At this time, the priest can
construct a Temple of Ebrietas. The priest pays half the cost of construction. The temple is a holy place of
worship, but also a meeting place for celebrations of any type as long as the celebration is a festive one.
Requirements for Followers:
Alignment choices: Any good

Races Allowed: Any (commonly human, dwarf, elf, and gnome)
Restrictions: None
Symbols: The symbol of Ebrietas is a cup overflowing for that is the greatest reward for anybody.
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Holidays, Festivals, Special Occasions: Three days before the summer solstice, the Seven Days of Ebrietas
begin. The holiday is celebrated by parties, parades, and competitions of all sorts. Unconditional celebration
takes place. The only requirement of the holiday is that all participants are peaceful. Violators are severely
punished for defiling the peace. Most communities that recognize the holiday will overlook communal laws
and allow the high priests of Ebrietas to reside over any peace-breakers.
The priests of both Vinumus and Excitarus respect Ebrietas and make offerings to him during their
festivals. Also, the priests tend to celebrate the Seven Days of Ebrietas where they are very welcome.
An offering of alcohol is often given to Ebrietas before any holiday, festival, or celebrations in hopes that
he blesses the occasion with peace and goodwill.
Minions: Ebrietas has a mortal daughter named Seltzer whose mortal mother was a kind, beautiful, "healthy"
barmaid Ebrietas met on one of his excursions to the land of mortals. Seltzer (7th level specialty fighter: AL:
LG; AC 8-2; MV 9; hp 50; THAC0 14; #AT 2/1; by weapon type; S 12, D 16, C 18, I 12, W 14, Ch 18) is a
fighter adventurer but she also is the owner and hostess of a quaint brew house and tavern. Seltzer specializes
in the long sword. She is proficient in the dagger, throwing knife, dart, and quarterstaff. Seltzer is very
beautiful and feminine but also strong and sure. Seltzer knows who her father is but finds that such
information is of no help in daily life, just another interesting story that will be a legend centuries from now.
Although Seltzer doesn't believe her father belittles himself with his mortal daughter, Ebrietas does watch
over her and protects her from harm. Seltzer's ultimate destiny is unknown, but surely it will be of greatness
and serve her father well.
Avatars: Boozies
Intelligence: Exceptional
Alignment: Lawful Good
No. appearing: 1-12
Armor class: 0
Movement: 15
Hit dice: 15 (100 hit points)
THAC0: 5
No. of attacks: 4
Damage/attack: by weapon type
Special attacks: Special
Special defenses: +1 or better weapon to hit
Magic resistance: 25%
Size: L (12' tall)
Morale: Special
XP value: 5000
S: 19 (+3 +7) I: 18 W: 18 D: 18 C: 20 Ch: 18
A Boozie is a strong, muscular, burly, tan man. He wears rough blue jeans (a strange clothing material not
found in most worlds) and no shirt. He wields a large tankard that does 2d10 points of damage. If necessary a
Boozie can wield any weapon with no penalty.
A Boozie can cause any mortal to become greatly intoxicated at will. A Boozie often uses this power in
attempts to avoid combat.
Boozies are really popular with women who find them very attractive. On special occasions, Ebrietas may
reward women by sending Boozies to perform a strip show form them.
MALUS TEMULENTIA
Portfolio: Evil spirits, liquor, alcohol addiction, bad emotions that drive one to drinking, sickness, and
drunkenness which manifests itself as rage and loss of control.
Malus Temulentia is a very evil deity who survives only though the suffering of mortals via liquor. Although
other alcohol drinks can have the same effect, liquor gets the job done much quicker. Thus Malus
Temulentia's following concentrates on the production and consumption of liquor.
Malus Temulentia is known by many names in many realms. One such realm knows him as the great god
Raaalph. Offerings to him are heaved into a porcelain alter at least one a week in the morning. If the god finds
the offerings pleasing, he sometimes lessen the suffering of his worshipper.
Malus Temulentia is depicted in art as a large skeleton with fiery red eyes wearing a dark flowing robe. He
is always atop a white porcelain throne. Most have waterfalls of pure alcohol flowing around him and/or
worshippers bowing in front of him and vomiting.
There are two priesthoods under Malus Temulentia. The first faction are the specialty priests of Malus
Temulentia known Stillers. The other faction is made up of clerics.
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The mission of both priesthoods is to strengthen the deity by getting people interested in liquor. Then
hopefully, the evils of liquor will manifest itself which in turn strengths the deity. Only through the spread of
liquor throughout the land can the deity hope to gain more followers. Thus, a person can almost always count
on getting a free liquor drink from a follower.
The specialty priests are mainly concerned with the production of liquor. They are always distilling liquor
of different types, mixing liquor drinks with exotic ingredients, and constantly searching for the perfect liquor.
The logic of the Stillers is that the more appeasing they can make liquor, the more people will consume it.
This Stillers are constantly in search of the perfect formulas and procedures. When necessary, a Distiller will
travel to get a new recipe, a new distilling procedure, or new information for example. Perfection is the key to
success.
The clerics tend to travel spreading the word of Malus Temulentia and the greatness of liquor. As teachers,
the clerics will instruct anybody who wants to learn the art of distilling. Also, they are information gathers
trying to find as much information on liquor possible. Knowledge of liquor is second only to the liquor itself.
Alignment: The deity is chaotic evil. His priests may chaotic neutral, chaotic good, or chaotic evil. The flock
may be of any alignment.
Races Allowed: Any (commonly dwarves, humans, and humanoids such as orcs, goblins, and hobgoblins).
Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Drinking (Boozing), Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover. Recommended:

Bartending, Distilling, Drinking Skills/Tricks.
Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Broken bottle.
Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are club, staff, and net. The priest may want to use a
bottle as a missile or melee weapon. No armor heavier than chain-mail.
Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Guidance in distilling, Missions for collecting information.
Spheres of Influence: Major Access to All, Creation, Divination, Plant, Necromantic, Summoning. Minor
Access to Animal, Healing, Protection, Sun, Weather.
Powers & Benefits:
- The specialty priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from liquor. Wine, beer, mead, and ale
cause normal hangovers. Of course, the priest would rather not drink such a foul alcohol unless it served a
purpose in some deception.
- The specialty priest receives a +1 per level bonus on all Constitution checks when drinking liquor.
- At 3rd level, the specialty priest can identify and analyze any liquor with just one sip.
- At 5th level, the specialty priest can raise or lower a person's alcohol addiction by 3 in both the drinking and
amount levels. This power can be used once per week.
- At 7th level, the specialty priest can raise his strength by 3 once per day. The strength increase will last for 1
hour.
- The specialty priest receives a -1 per every three levels penalty on all Constitution checks when drinking
beer, ale, wine, or mead.
- The specialty priest receives a -3 reaction from priests of Ebrietas, Vinumus, and Excitarus.
- Within 24 hours of becoming greatly intoxicated, a cleric or priest must induce vomiting upon himself to
pay homage to Malus Temulentia.
Followers and Strongholds: Upon reaching 9th level, a specialty priest can build a temple complex which
contains a distillery. The followers received consist of 20 followers proficient in distilling, 10 first- level
clerics, 3 third-level priests, and 1 six-level priest. The distillery must produce liquors of all types for sacrifice
to the deity and for sale to the community. The temple complex should contain a library on liquors which
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would contains such information like production of different types of liquor, different recipes for making
mixed drinks using liquor, mythology on the deity, and propaganda against the other alcohol deities. The
temple complex may also have a tavern where people can come to drink liquor (no other types of alcohol are
served). Liquor is typically sold at cost because of the mission of the priesthood.
Symbols: Malus Temulentia's symbol is a white, porcelain bowl. Every temple of Malus Temulentia has a
white, porcelain bowl atop a white, porcelain altar.
Holidays, Festivals, Special Occasions: Followers do not observe any special occasions. However, they do
try to attend festivals, holidays, and special occasions of any type as long as alcohol can be served. Then the
followers attempt to flood the festivities with liquor. Before attending any special occasion, clerics and priests
must hold a private ceremony where they pay homage to Malus Temulentia and ask for success.
Minions: As often depicted in art, Malus Temulentia rides a magnificent Pravus Clydesdale horses (INT:
high; AL NE; AC 5; MV 14"/14"; HD 15; hp 100; THAC0 5; # AT 3; Dmg 3d8/3d8/3d4 horn/horn/bite; SA
steam, berserk rage; SD fear aura; MR 10%; SZ L, 12'; XP 15,000). A very powerful and intimidating steed,
he has god- like attributes and powers, a gift bestowed to him by his master.
Avatars: Malus Succubus

Alignment: Chaotic Evil
No. appearing: 1-2
Armor class: 0
Movement: 11/18
THAC0: 15
No. of attacks: 2
Damage/attack: 1-3/1-3
Special attacks: Energy drain
Size: M (6' tall)
Morale: Special
XP value: 5000
S: 19 (+3 +7) I: 22 W: 16 D: 18 C: 20 Ch: 20
Malus Succubus are terrible female demons whose purpose is the unconditional service to Malus Temulentia.
The demon in its natural form appears very much like a tall and very beautiful human female with long
blonde hair and large breasts (at least 36D), although the bat- like wings immediately show the observer its
true nature.
Malus Succubi cannot be harmed by any sort of normal weaponry. Succubus can cause darkness in a 25'
radius. The kiss of the succubus drains the victim of one energy level, and all succubi are able to perform any
one of the following feats at will: become ethereal (as if using the oil of that name), charm person, ESP,
clairaudience, suggestion (as the spell), shape change (to any humanoid form of approximately their own
height and weight only), or gate in a type IV (70% chance), type VI (25%). There is only a 40% chance of
such a gate opening, however.
These female demons are usually not found in numbers, for they prefer to act alone or in pairs.
VINUMUS
Portfolio: Wine, the finest fruit, refined taste, wine-making
As the god of wine, Vinumus has a dual nature: he represents joy, pleasure, and camaraderie; but also savage,
mindless, bloodthirsty violence. He represents the fact that wine can induce both happiness and madness.
Vinumus is known throughout the realms by many other names a few of which are Dionysus, Bacchus.
Vinumus tends to be more nature oriented like his mother the Goddess of Agriculture unlike his brother
Excitarus. This wild nature can be seen in Vinumus' appearance, his symbol, and the popular theory that the
best wine comes from wild grapes found far away from civilization.
While Vinumus most often appears as a young man in a purple robe, he also likes to appear in lion,
panther, dolphin, and bear shapes. He savagely inflicts madness upon anyone who attacks or discomforts him
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(save vs. spells at -4). He is also protective of his temples and high level clerics, and may, if greatly outraged,
inflict this madness upon defilers of his holy places.
There are only two priesthoods of Vinumus. The first is made of specialty priests, the second of clerics.
The specialty priests are concerned with all aspects of wine from producing to drinking. They spend there
life creating wonderful wines to honor their deity and all that he represents.
The clerics spend most of their time searching for wines created by others although they will make their
own when necessary. They also like to preach the word of Vinumus to all that will listen, typically intoxicated
people in taverns.
Alignment: The deity is chaotic neutral. His priests may chaotic neutral, chaotic good, or chaotic evil. The
flock may be of any alignment.
Races Allowed: Any (commonly elves, humans, gnomes, halflings).
Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Agriculture, Drinking (Boozing), Toasting, Wine Making, Wine Tasting.
Recommended: Bartending, Drinking Skills/Tricks, Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover.
Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Wooden staff.
Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are staff, scythe, bottle, sickle, and flail. No shields
and no metal armor allowed.
Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Guidance in proper wine making techniques and wine sampling, Tasting and
Protecting the Wines Of Vinumus, Keeping the Wineries of Vinumus, Marriage, Judging at annual wine
festival.
Powers & Benefits:
- The specialty priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from wine. Beer, mead, and ale cause
normal hangovers.
- At 3rd level, the specialty priest can identify and analyze any wine with just one sip.
- At 5th level, the specialty priest can create a pint of excellent quality wine, twice per day. However, this
power is mainly used for emergency purposes as it tends to dishonor the priest and deity whenever the priest
doesn't create wine the old-fashioned, non-magical way.
- At 7th level, the specialty priest can lay hands on a cup of excellent quality wine and permanently give the
wine the power of healing (1d8 points of damage restored), neutralize poison, and cure of all diseases. This
power can only be used once per month.
- At 9th level, the specialty priest has the power of Prophecy. The priest must become greatly intoxicated
before entering the meditation state to receive the visions.
- The specialty priest receives a -1 per every three levels penalty on all Constitution checks when drinking
beer, ale, mead, or liquor.
- Liquor is poison to the specialty priest and will do 1d10 points of poison damage for every serving
consumed. Also causes automatic comatose intoxication.
- A specialty priest who reaches a comatose state due to intoxication by wine has dishonored himself and must
repent. This punishment will be decided upon by the high priest of the nearest temple of Vinumus.
Repentance usually comes in the form of a quest, a menial task, monetary loss, etc..
second level priests, 6 first level priests, 10 clerics, and 11-20 normal followers. At this time, the priest can
construct a Winery of Vinumus which can be considered a temple of the god. The priest pays half the cost of
construction. This winery provides facilities for the mass production of wines along with workshops and
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laboratories for the development of new wines, a library devoted to knowledge on wines, and an elegant wine-
tasting facility.
Alignment choices: Any non-lawful

Races Allowed: Any (commonly elf, human, gnome, halfling)
Restrictions: None
Symbols: A thyrsus. A thyrsus is a staff tipped with a pine cone and twined with ivy.
Holidays, Festivals, Special Occasions: There are two major festivals of Vinumus, one before the wining
season and one at the end of the season.
The pre-season festival consists of seminars on wine producing techniques, areas to harvest in the coming
season, and other useful wine-related topics. Sacrifices of wine and fruit are made to Vinumus and prayers are
made for a good wine season.
The post-season consists of wine sampling, toasting competitions, and other fun activities. Sacrifices are
made to Vinumus to thank him for the wine produced.
Minions: Vinumus rides a chariot pulled by two enchanted goats (INT low; AL CN; AC 0; MV 24"/24"; HD
15; hp 100; THAC0 5; # AT 3; Dmg 3d8/3d8/4d8 horn/horn/bite; SA special; SD special; MR 25%; SZ L, 10'
at the shoulder; XP 10,000) named Berry and Grape. They attack by butting with their large horns. They add
+6 to damage when they charge. One of their numerous extraordinary powers is that they produce excellent
quality wine instead of milk, of course somebody still must milk the goats. Another power of Berry and
Grape is the ability to polymorph into sleek, powerful panthers (AC -5; MV 48"/48"; HD 15; hp 100; THAC0
5; # AT 3; Dmg 3d10/3d10/4d10 claw/claw/bite; SA special; SD special; SZ L, 10' at the shoulder).
Vinumus has two lesser-god minions who serve as emissaries for him: Bartles and James. They have their
own worshipers that are considered cults of Vinumus. The clerics of Bartles and James get their power from
Vinumus. The specialty priests are identical to specialty priests of Vinumus. They do tend to be female and
have a fascination for light less-intoxicating wine that they refer to as wine-coolers.
Bartles and James serve as emissaries to Vinumus. When not serving this purpose, they continue their work
on making wine-coolers more acceptable by the realms. Vinumus knows that there is no real threat to him or
his portfolio. Furthermore, he enjoys the wine-coolers to some extend although they will never compare to
real wine.
Bartles and James are an odd pair. James never speaks for there is no need to. He is always deep in thought
and when necessary he communicates via telepathy to Bartles.
The Holy Grand Priest of Vinumus is Orsen Wells (20th level specialty priest: AL: CN; AC 10; MV 9; hp
125; THAC0 8; #AT 1; Dmg by spell or weapon type; S 7, D 6, C 18, I 17, W 18, Ch 17). Wells is a large,
burly with a deep voice. During his reign as Grand Priest he has coined the phrase:
"We will sell no wine before its time."
The phrase symbolizes the hard work and great concern that the priests put into making wines that should be
the best in the worlds. Wells has made many advances in mass production of wines but has made sure that
nobody forgets or stops creating wines the simple, old-fashioned way. Wells creates a nice bouquet of old
with the new that is a treasure to scent.
Avatars: The Wine

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
No. appearing: 1
Armor class: 0
Movement: 15
THAC0: 13
No. of attacks: 1
Damage/attack: 1d8
Special attacks: Death wail
Size: M (5'-6' tall)
Morale: Special
XP value: 5000
The Wine is a beautiful, winged, female elf. Those elven women who served Vinumus well during their
mortal life, are asked to serve him in the after-life.
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The Wine has a wail similar to that of the banshee. Any creature within 50 feet of The Wine when she
wails must roll a save vs. death magic. Those who fail die immediately. The wine can only wail once per day.
The touch of The Wine causes 1d8 points of damage.
The Wines are fully immune to charm, sleep, and hold spells and to cold- and electricity-based attacks.
EXCITARUS (THE BREW MASTER)
Portfolio: brewing, beer/ale/mead, barley, basic good times
Although he is typically called the God of Beer, Brewing, and Barley, Excitarus actually encompasses other
brewed beverages such as ale and beer-like meads. He also maintains his influence over other grains used in
the production of these drinks.
Excitarus is the brother of the goddess of agriculture.
Excitarus is known throughout the realms by many other names a few of which are Sabazius, Pan, Cronus,
and Werb.
Excitarus typically appears as or is depicted in art as a human, a dwarf, a gnome, a centaur, or a
leprechaun. As a human, dwarf, and gnome Excitarus will always be old, wise, overweight, and wearing a
white toga. As a centaur, Excitarus is larger than an average centaur, handsome, and very charismatic. As a
leprechaun, Excitarus wears deep shades of green, is larger than an average leprechaun, and more serious. He
is always with a beautiful pewter tankard and a wooden staff.
There are three orders of priesthood under Excitarus, each with its own abilities. They are Tasters of the
Brew of Excitarus, Brewmeisters of Excitarus, and Harvesters of the Grains of Excitarus. All use the symbol
of a pewter pendant engraved with a barley decorated tankard. Each of the three orders complements the
others, and relationships between them are generally cordial.
There is one cult of Excitarus, The Centaur Cult of Excitarus, who are masters at brewing but very
secretive in their work.
Alignment: The deity is Lawful Good. The flock may be of any alignment.
Symbols: The symbol of Excitarus and all priests is a pewter pendant engraved with a barley decorated
tankard.
Holidays, Festivals, Special Occasions: There are three major festivals of Excitarus. In the spring, there is the
annual drinking festival. In the summer, the annual brewing competition festival. In the fall, the annual grain
harvest festival.
Sacrifices at these festivals always include beer and barley. At the harvest festival, an effigy of Excitarus is
torn apart in the fields when the first barley is harvested. The god is then mourned for the rest of the
harvesting time, and then his rebirth in beer is celebrated when the harvest is finished. On extremely rare
occasions, Excitarus has required that a 10 year old boy be sacrificed instead of an effigy to appease him. This
is only done if his followers do not honor him adequately for several years and ignore his warnings of blighted
crops and sour beer.
Minions: Some companions of Excitarus are dogs (INT high; AL LG; AC 5; MV 18"/18"; HD 10; hp 80;
THAC0 11; # AT 3; Dmg 2d20 bite; SA special; SD regeneration, teleport without error; MR 50%; SZ L, 10';
XP 25,000): a Saint Bernard named Draft, a bulldog named Miller, a collie named Alex The Beer Dog, and a
mutt named Spuds MacKenzie The Original Party Animal. Each dog has a unique personality: Draft is very
helpful, Miller is very protective, Alex is very competitive, Spuds is very relaxed. All have avatar status of
Excitarus and have god-like powers (regeneration, teleportation, communication, etc.) to protect them from
harm. Excitarus usually doesn't send them on missions because he treasures their companionship and is very
protective of them.
Excitarus is often depicted in art as riding a beer wagon filled with barrels pulled by a team of magnificent
Volatilis Clydesdale horses (INT high; AL NG; AC 0; MV 28"/56"; HD 15; hp 100; THAC0 5; # AT 3; Dmg
3d8/3d8/3d4; SA dive, rear kick; SD nil; MR 25%; SZ L, 12; XP 15,000). This depiction is completely
accurate. When Excitarus travels and wants to make a grand impression (for teleportation would be easier), he
rides on his lordly, beer wagon pulled by a team of twelve Volatilis Clydesdale horses. The horses have god-
like attributes and powers, a gift bestowed to them by their master.
Avatars: Swissyries
Alignment: Lawful Good
No. appearing: 6
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Armor class: -2
Movement: 15
THAC0: 5
No. of attacks: 4
Damage/attack: by weapon type
Special attacks: Special
Size: M (5 1/2' tall)
Morale: Special
XP value: 5000
S: 19 (+3 +7) I: 17 W: 17 D: 18 C: 20 Ch: 20
An avatar of Excitarus is a beautiful blonde maiden with measurements of 36D-24-36. She wears a small blue
bikini that hides very little. Atop her head is a helmet with two horns protruding from it. Around her neck is a
necklace with the symbol of Excitarus, a pewter pendant engraved with a barley decorated tankard. She
carries a +5 wooden staff that she wields in battle.
The Swissyries travel in groups of six and function as a well- organized team. When they travel, Swissyries
give of a beautiful aura of pearly, flickering light. They travel ethereally, and are only visible to those
intoxicated.
When not on a mission for Excitarus, Swissyries act as serving maids in Excitarus's great drinking hall.
1st Order: Tasters of the Brew of Excitarus

(also Keepers of the Brew of Excitarus)
Alignment: A priest of the 1st order can be Chaotic Good, Chaotic Neutral, or Chaotic Evil.
Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 9, Constitution 14. Wisdom or Constitution of 16 means +05% experience.
Wisdom and Constitution of 16 means +10% experience.
Races Allowed: Any (commonly humans, dwarves, and gnomes).
Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Drinking (Boozing), Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover. Recommended:

Bartending, Brewing, Drinking Skills/Tricks, Gaming, Reading/Writing, Religion.
Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Tankard.
Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are a tankard (or other drinking container), club, staff,
net (for big bar fights). No shields (that wouldn't leave a free hand for drinking). No armor heavier than chain-
mail. All armor and weapons must be properly blessed by a 5th level or higher priest of Excitarus.
Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Guidance (listening to others at the bar), Tasting and Protecting the Brews of
Excitarus, Keeping the Taverns of Excitarus, Marriage (can be annulled the next morning when both parties
are sober again, if desired), Judging at annual brewing competition festival. Presiding over the annual drinking
festival.
Powers & Benefits:
- The priest is immune to alcohol poisoning (but not drunkenness). No priest shall experience tainted brew.
- The priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from beer, ale, or mead. Liquors and wines cause
normal hangovers.
- At 3rd level, the priest can cause a hangover on somebody by making a successful attack roll to touch a
person. If successful, the victim gets a hangover. Roll on Table 1, Hangover Effects Table, to get the effects
of the hangover.
- At 5th level, the priest can identify and analyze any alcoholic grain beverage with just one sip.
- At 7th level, the priest has the power of Soothing Word.
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- At 9th level, the priest can comprehend and communicate with any person that is intoxicated. The priest is
able to ask questions and receive intelligent answers that are accompanied with friendless, cooperations, and
understanding. The true usefulness of this power is when the intoxicated person is comatose.
- The priest receives a -1 per every three levels penalty on all Constitution checks when drinking wine or
liquor.
- Before going to rest (i.e. sleep), the priest must be intoxicated. Going to sleep sober is considered
blasphemy. It would be impossible for Excitarus to communicate to the priest via the dreamworld without the
priest being intoxicated. Although few priests have ever experienced such dreams.
- Liquor has a tendency to destroy the priest's sense of taste. A priest should never drink liquor or risk
offending Excitarus. Excitarus may even destroy the priest's sense of taste and/or excommunicate him. Wine
can be consumed by the priest, but not to often and never when beer, ale, or mead can be found.
Followers and Strongholds: At 7th level (earlier than most orders, but this group tends to die of liver failure
at an early age), the priest gets the following followers: 3 third level priests, 5 first level priests, and 11-20
normal followers (barflies so to speak). The priest may then construct a Tavern of Excitarus, for which he/she
must pay half the construction costs. The stronghold acts as a bar for thirsty patrons and as a repository for the
various brews made by the Brewmeisters of Excitarus.
Alignment choices: Any non-lawful

Races Allowed: Any (commonly human, dwarf, and gnome)
Restrictions: None (but must love beer)
Notes: Eventually, the Tasters of the Brew of Excitarus will split into 2 separate orders, one just for drinking
and one just for tavern keeping. When this happens, the life-span of the Tasters will decline even further.
2nd Order: Brewmeisters of Excitarus
Alignment: A priest of the 2nd order can be Neutral Good, Neutral Evil, Neutral, Lawful Neutral, or Chaotic
Neutral.
Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 12, Constitution 12, Intelligence of 11. Wisdom or Constitution or
Intelligence of 16 means +05% experience. A score of 16 in any two abilities means +10% experience.
Wisdom and Constitution and Intelligence of 16 means +15% experience.
Races Allowed: Any (commonly humans, dwarves, and gnomes).
Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Alchemy, Brewing, Herbalism. Recommended: Disguise

Drunkenness/Hangover, Drinking (Boozing), Drinking Skills/Tricks, Gaming, Reading/Writing, Religion.
Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are the club, tankard, staff, and sling. Non-metal
armor and shields only. All armor and weapons must be properly blessed by a 5th level or higher priest of
Excitarus.
Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Education (teaching of the brewing arts to those deemed worthy, promotion
of brewing), Investigation (seeking forgotten brewing techniques and developing new ones), Must participate
in annual brewing competition festival.
Spheres of Influence: Major Access to Creation, Plant. Minor Access to Healing, Guardian, Protection.
Powers & Benefits:
normal hangovers.
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- At 3rd level, the priest can identify and analyze any alcoholic grain beverage even when partially brewed
with just one sip.
- At 3rd level, the priest can mend as per the spell Mending on damaged brewing apparatus only once per day
by laying on hands.
- At 5th level, the priest can create a quart of average quality beer, ale, or mead twice per day.
- At 7th level the priest may speed the fermentation process of any naturally fermentable vegetable matter (i.e.
potatoes, wheat, etc.) once per day. Within one hour all the contents in the container will be completely
fermented as if the full year or whatever the necessary time period was had passed. The priest must be careful
The priest must already know the time necessary to ferment the grapes or whatever and the alcohol making
processes before casting this spell (i.e. the character must have a proper non-weapon proficiency).
liquor.
- The priest may never make wine or liquors or the wrath of Excitarus shall strike.
- The priest must always give the first drink of a new brew to another person, preferably a friend.
second level priests, 6 first level priests, and 11-20 normal followers. At this time, the priest can construct a
Brewery of Excitarus. The priest pays half the cost of construction. This brewery provides facilities for the
mass production of brewed beverages along with workshops and laboratories for the development of new
brews.
Alignment choices: Any

Races Allowed: Any (commonly humans, dwarves, and gnomes)
Restrictions: None (but must love beer)
3rd Order: Harvesters of the Grains of Excitarus

Alignment: Neutral.
Races Allowed: Any (commonly humans and halflings).
Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Agriculture, Herbalism, Weather Sense. Recommended: Brewing,

Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover, Drinking (Boozing), Drinking Skills/Tricks, Reading/Writing, Religion.
Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Scythe.
Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are the scythe, club, tankard, sickle, and flail. No
shields and no metal armor allowed. All armor and weapons must be properly blessed by a 5th level or higher
priest of Excitarus.
Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Guidance, Conducting of annual barley harvest celebrations, Vigilance
against anything that may harm barley or other grains used in brewing, Destruction of rats and other vermin
that prey on agricultural lands.
Spheres of Influence: Major Access to All, Plant, Protection. Minor Access to Creation, Guardian, Healing,
Weather.
Powers & Benefits:
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normal hangovers.
- The priest can identify any grain used in brewing.
- At 3rd level, the priest can identify and analyze any alcoholic grain beverage with just one sip.
- At 5th level, the priest can identify and analyze any disease in grains used in brewing.
- At 7th level, the priest can detect the presence and location of any rat nest within 50 feet. Of course, he must
seek out and destroy it.
- At 9th level, the priest can shape-change three times per day into a cat.
liquor.
- The priest must kill any vermin that prey on agricultural land and are unclean thus defiling grain.
- Chastity is required by Excitarus for the crop land cannot be fertile if the harvesters are fertile.
Followers and Strongholds: At 9th level, the following followers are gained: 3 fifth level priests, 4 third level
priests, 6 first level priests, 21-30 normal followers. At this time, the priest can build a Grainery of Excitarus.
The priest must pay for half of the construction costs of this stronghold. The stronghold will act as a safe
storehouse for grains used in brewing and will also be a source of information about methods used to enhance
the production of these grains.

Races Allowed: Any (commonly humans and halflings)
Restrictions: None (but must like beer)
The Centaur Cult of Excitarus

The Centaur Cult of Excitarus is sect with only centaurs as members. They are master brewers. They are great
drinkers. They are centaurs with a lust for beer, ale, and mead.
They tend to live and worship deep in the woodland near fresh, pure springs where they can get the best
water for brewing. Although centaurs are reclusive to most races they will be friendly with any priest of
Excitarus hoping to share recipes and techniques with their brethren.
Alignment: A priest of The Centaur Cult of Excitarus can be Neutral Chaotic Good, Neutral Good.
Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 12, Constitution 14, Intelligence of 12. Wisdom or Constitution or
Intelligence of 16 means +05% experience. A score of 16 in any two abilities means +10% experience.
Wisdom and Constitution and Intelligence of 16 means +15% experience.
Races Allowed: Centaur.
Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Alchemy, Brewing, Drinking (Boozing), Herbalism. Recommended:

Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover, Drinking Skills/Tricks.
Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are the club, tankard, staff, and sling. No armor.
Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Education (teaching of the brewing arts to those deemed worthy),
Investigation (seeking forgotten brewing techniques and developing new ones), May participate in annual
brewing competition festival if welcome by non-prejudice people.
Spheres of Influence: Major Access to Creation, Plant. Minor Access to Healing, Guardian, Protection.
Powers & Benefits:
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normal hangovers.
- The priest gains a +5 per class level bonus to the Brewing non-weapon proficiency.
- The priest gains a +3 to Constitution ability checks as they pertain to alcohol.
- At 3rd level, the priest can identify and analyze any alcoholic grain beverage even when partially brewed
with just one sip.
- At 3rd level, the priest can mend as per the spell Mending on damaged brewing apparatus only once per day
by laying on hands.
- At 5th level, the priest can create a four quarts of excellent quality beer, ale, or mead twice per day.
However, the priest tends to not use this power because only through non-magical means does a brewer truly
enlighten himself and his art.
- At 7th level the priest may speed the fermentation process of any naturally fermentable vegetable matter (i.e.
potatoes, wheat, etc.) once per day. Within one hour all the contents in the container will be completely
fermented as if the full year or whatever the necessary time period was had passed. The priest must be careful
The priest must already know the time necessary to ferment the grapes or whatever and the alcohol making
processes before casting this spell (i.e. the character must have a proper non-weapon proficiency).
- At 9th level, the priest has the power of Prophecy. The priest must become greatly intoxicated before
entering the meditation state to receive the visions.
liquor.
- The priest may never make wine or liquors or the wrath of Excitarus shall strike.
- The priest must always give the first drink of a new brew to another person, preferably a friend.
Followers and Strongholds: At 8th level, the priest receives the following centaur followers: 3 fourth level
priests, 4 second level priests, 6 first level priests, and 11-20 normal followers. At this time, the priest can
construct a Brewery of Excitarus. The priest pays half the cost of construction. This brewery isn't for mass
production as the other brewing priesthood constructs, rather this brewery is for educational and homing of
brewing skills.

Races Allowed: Centaur
Restrictions: None
HOLY/UNHOLY ALCOHOL
Because of the great benefits from possessing holy/unholy alcohol, the GM should be careful in maintaining
game balance by limiting the availability of the alcohol. For those clerics able to create their own alcohol, the
GM has many opportunities to screw up his work.
USAGE
When drinking holy alcohol, Constitution intoxication checks penalties are doubled and if greatly intoxicated
the penalties to saves vs. poison are doubled as well.
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Spiritual magic in the holy alcohol causes special effects to the imbiber. For example, holy alcohol created
by clerics of the god of merriment would cause great celebration and a non-violent intent amongst its
imbibers. Holy alcohol belonging to the god of knowledge calms and relaxes the imbibers and gives them a
higher intelligence while intoxicated. The holy alcohol of the god of light, the sun, and the truth gives the
imbibers the powers to detect lies and deceptions. The special magical effects are left to the GM and player
keeping in mind game-balance.
Becoming greatly intoxicated from holy alcohol of their deity allows a cleric or priest of 9th level or
higher to receive visions from their deity. Evil clerics using unholy alcohol to receive visions are indeed brave
or foolish given the damage the receive from drinking it. The visions received are solely up to the GM.
Other more concrete powers are the following:
Holy Alcohol
- Ingesting holy alcohol will heal 2d4 points of damage, cure disease (3rd level), and causes a state of great
intoxication.
- Ingesting with holy alcohol will have the beneficial effect of slowing the onset of lycanthropy or becoming
undead. For each serving so used, the process is slowed by 1d4 days.
- Affects most forms of undead creatures from the lower planes like holy water, but does twice as much
damage.
Unholy Alcohol
- Ingesting unholy alcohol will cause 2d4 points of damage, cause disease (3rd level, reverse of cure disease),
and causes a state of great intoxication.
- Ingesting with unholy alcohol will have the effect of speeding-up the onset of lycanthropy or becoming
undead. For each serving so used, the process is speeded-up by 1d4 days.
- Affects affects paladins, creatures whose purpose is to defend good (lamaasu, shedu, etc.), and creatures
from the outer planes like holy water, but does twice as much damage.
CREATION
Only clerics are able to prepare holy alcohol - or unholy alcohol in the case of evil clerics. As a third level
spell is involved, it requires a cleric of not less than 5th level of experience to manage to create such a fluid.
The Planting
Take a fallow field and perform a ceremony of consecration (Ceremony, 1st level, Unearthed Arcana) to a
specific deity upon it. Typical deities are the deity of nature, the deity of agriculture, the deity of the sun,
Ebrietas the deity of good intoxication, Malus Temulentia the deity of liquor and the evil it brings, Vinumus
the deity of wine, and Excitarus the deity of brew.
Some deities will call for blood sacrifice, while some may simply prefer that you simply sprinkle the
fertilizer with holy water (bonus for using fertilizer from holy cows or fish, if that is kosher for the GM).
Use appropriately blessed/cursed (1st level) implants such as ploughs for preparing the sacred field. All
creatures of the earth that are used to assist in preparing the field are sacrificed as an offering to the deity of
the field.
The seeds whether grape, grain, or other appropriate type are blessed/cursed (1st level) and sprinkled with
holy water before they are sown. During the sowing, prayers and chants are made to the appropriate deity
asking for a good crop. The character must make a successful wisdom check to maintain his/her concentration
during this stage.
The Harvest
During the harvest, prayers and chants are made thanking the appropriate deity for the crop. The character
must make a successful wisdom check to maintain his/her concentration during this stage. Only the best of the
crop can produce holy alcohol. At most only 25% of the crop can be considered high enough in quality to be
used. The use of the augury spell (2nd level) must be cast to find out how much of the harvest can be used for
processing, how much can be disposed of for any purpose, and how much should be sacrificed to the god in
gratitude for the crop.
In the case of a good god, the remainder of the crop that can't be used is distributed to the poor whether
directly, baked into bread or made into alcohol without the appropriate holy ceremony. In the case of a evil
god, the remainder of the crop that can't be used is destroyed typically in a sacrificial fire.
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The harvest must be performed by people who have at least been initiated into the mysteries of that deity
though they need not be a full cleric, just someone dedicated to that god.
The Creation
Before creation, the cleric must spend a week in prayers and meditations. Each day, a successful wisdom
check must be made with a -3 penalty.
Grain threshing, grape stomping, etc. can be performed by people who have at least been initiated into the
mysteries of that deity though they need not be a full cleric, just someone dedicated to that god.
The harvest is processed into alcohol in the normal process whether brewing, distilling, or wining. All
items used in the process must be of fine workmanship and made specifically for this purpose. The items must
be engraved with the holy/unholy symbols of the cleric's deity. Also, they must also be properly consecrated
(Ceremony, 1st level, Unearthed Arcana).
Water used in the creation process must be from the spell Create Water (2nd level) and a vail of
holy/unholy water must be added as well. The cleric casts the following spells in succession while robed in
formal vestments: Create Alcohol (2nd level), Purify Food & Drink or its reverse (1st level), Bless or its
reverse (1st level), Chant (2nd level) for one turn, and Prayer (3rd level).
Note that the Create Alcohol spell does not actually create alcohol in this instance, which would ruin the
brewing process. It simply "charges" the mash or pulp.
The amount of alcohol produced is dependant on the GMs desires for reasons of game balance and role-
playing.
The Aging
Bottles, kegs, barrels, or any other type of storage vessel used to store the sacred alcohol must be consecrated.
The vessels used are 10 to 100 times more expensive.
The concoction must age properly as that of its normal counterpart after which it will be holy/unholy
alcohol.
The Product
If the priest hasn't been properly faithful to his/her deity, the product may be ruined like foxed beer (thick,
ropy, horrible stuff) or vinegar instead of wine. Alternatively, if there is a time of crisis and the faithful are
flocking in to pray for help, the god may age the stuff faster than usual to aid the people. Subtle miracles tend
to be easier.
Depending on the deities portfolio, the holy alcohol may carry unusual appearance properties. For
example, holy wine made under the auspices of the sun god may glow with a warm yellow light if a white
wine, or a sunset-red if a red wine. Holy liquor of the god of death would actually absorb light to some extent.
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ALCOHOL ORGANIZATIONS OF ALL SORTS
"Friends don't let friends fight dragons when drunk."
"Don't drink and dungeon."
"Remember, alcohol and dragons don't mix."
--- The Phantom
Before diving into the alcohol organizations, a question must be asked: Could an alcohol organization truly
exist in an AD&D medieval world? Although this question specifically pertains to alcohol organizations, it
can pertain to any organization in an AD&D campaign. The answer to this question is presented in a
discussion format with those FOR organizations in AD&D who believe they ca exist, and those AGAINST
organizations in AD&D who believe they can't exist.
AGAINST: Reliable long-distance communication would be needed to give a larger base of support than the
immediate vicinity, of an organization. Most people in the medieval times could live out their lives in an area
a few miles around. Having well-defined organizations, rather than the occasional meddling priest, requires a
lot of agministrative effort that usually isn't available.
FOR: As always to compensate for technology there is magic which can greatly effect communications. A
single high-level mage can send messages (or items) across vast distances. Spelljammers can carry mail and
items over vast distances in a day (if the price is right, and a 'jammer is available). A modified mage spell
could be created with the ability to copy writing from one page onto another (instant printing press). And
using spells to augment a speech (including Phantasmal Force and Audible Glamer (for a voice boost)) can
make a major impression on an uneducated crowd ("Were you at the speech Zeb the Persuasive made? I've
never seen any illusions like the ones he used!"). Again, all this depends on the level of magic and its
acceptance.
Another aspect is that of the government. Nobles seem to have good access to lines of communication.
And most organizations have some governmental influence.
AGAINST: The basic problem with getting something like Alcoholics Anonymous or a Temperance Union is
getting enough people together for it to become a movement. There are no postal services, telephone services,
or technological wonders such as the printing press. When large segments of the population are illiterate and
untraveled and it takes weeks for new ideas to get from one city to another, an organization doesn't get the
broad national support base so the need exists to get a large number of people in the city. What is needed is a
very strong idea indeed for that to work.
FOR: No requirement in this section demands that an alcohol organization be on a large-scale. An

organization could be but a few irate people. However, an organization could be a town or city united because
of certain events led them to it. And whose to say that the Temperance League in one city must be exactly the
same in another. They could have the same basic cause but work completely different for that cause. What
really matters is how the GM wishes to develop an organization.
Organizations can spring up elsewhere, especially in places that have contact with an organization of a
large city, but they would likely be quite independent of each other after the original formation.
A Temperance League (or general "underground" movement) could survive as long as there was a
sufficiently responsible and charismatic branch leader in each chapter. Without at least one person to direct
the group's actions, it'll fall apart pretty quickly. More educated groups like mages or nobles could be held
together by intellect -- they know what they want to do, and don't abandon their goal easily.
Its not quantity, its quality.
AGAINST: A strong idea is how religious succeed someone burning with the fires of inspiration gets people
enthused. Alcoholics Anonymous certainly isn't going to do that, and the Temperance Union is going to have
a tough time getting volunteers in a pre-suffrage era. Going out on the street and preaching against the evils of
liquor is a good way to receive mud and cobblestones hurled by people who like to get drunk. The
Temperance Union would only go out in force with a number of people.
FOR: Guilds exist in most AD&D campaigns and certainly religious orders exist. If they can function, then
why can't an alcohol organization. As long as their is a strong belief in the cause, any organization can live
and whose to say that believe in prohibition can't be as strong as belief in a guide or one of the many deities.
AGAINST: Handbills and posters are important tools in getting penetration, but those only work with a
literate population and the printing press.
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FOR: Reading materials are tools but not the only ones. Criers could play an exciting role in the movement.
Having a few bards give a play on the dangers of alcohol or recite some beautiful poetry for the cause. One
must remember that it is a fantasy world where much amusement could exist. The whole purpose of the
alcohol organizations is to enhance role-playing.
AGAINST: Religions don't need the communication lines because they set up one dogma and stick to it. The
alcohol organizations function on different lines from many social movements.
FOR: And so this only opens up many more role-playing opportunities. "Why doesn't the Temperance League
in this city protest against the nobles' drinking?"
This section of the guide is a collection of pro and con alcohol- related organizations to be used in an AD&D
campaign.
The organizations typically have religious or political support. The natural advantage that any religiously
based group has is that it can justify any action because it is the will of whatever perverted version of any
deity that they worship. Additionally, they can characterize their opponents as heathens, heretics, sub-humans,
and demon worshipers.
The natural advantage that ant politically based group has is that it there opinions can be backed with law
which in turn is backed by law enforcement.
The organizations presented here are the following:
1. Alcohol and Drug Abuse Clinic

2. Alcoholic Cures Through Extreme Means
3. The Ambrosiac Society
4. Anonymous Alcoholics
5. Citizens Against Drinking And Charioteering
6. Governmental Revenue Task Force
7. Kill the Drunken Bastards
8. Mothers Against Alcohol, Dragons, and Dungeons
9. People Against Bull Shiting Temperancers
10. Temperance League
11. Terrorist's Tactical Temperance League
12. The Old Pledge Temperance League
Alcohol and Drug Abuse Clinic

Abbreviation: A.D.A.C.
The Alcohol and Drug Abuse Clinic is a less violent organization than A.C.T.E.M. that has just as much
success in its work and is even more greedy.
A.D.A.C. is an establishment that resembles a hospital in many aspects. A.D.A.C. specializes in those
people that have an alcohol or drug problem.
The "qualified" staff specializes in many forms of therapy. Among some forms of therapy are counseling,
astrology, hypnosis, special diets, and dancing.
Basically, A.D.A.C. is nothing more then a well organized scheme. Although the clinic's staff as well as its
customers may believe in A.D.A.C., the organization is nothing more than quick-fix cures that don't work
given by an odd-lot staff that believe that their ideas really work on duped customers who pour much gold
into the organization's profits. No matter what the customer's therapy is, the customer is "cured" when the
organization's payments are no longer made and the customer is dismissed.
A common practice of some is to send a disliked relative to the organization for a long period of time to be
"cured". Some customers are just bizarre, rich, hypochondriacs who are looking for a solution to their
"problem".
As mentioned previously, the group has an unbelievable "success" in its work, mainly because they decide
that all who leave are cured.
Activities: The organization's purpose is to "cure" customers with whatever the miracle cures are this week.
Funding: A.D.A.C. is a business organization that makes money through its customers.
Alcoholic Cures Through Extreme Means

Abbreviation: A.C.T.E.M.
Alcoholic Cures Through Extreme Means is a organization similar to Anonymous Alcoholics with its ultimate
goal of helping alcoholics but with almost everything else being different.
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The organization is a business whose purpose is to make money. It does so by receiving alcoholic
customers and curing them of their illness. They guarantee a full recovery and monitor customers for life to
uphold the guarantee.
The alcoholic customer may be a willing customer or a forced customer with payment made from a loved
or unloved one. Rates vary depending on the various therapies required for the cure but the rates are always
high. Whenever the organization excepts a customer, they promise a cure and will not give up. Some people
wanted to discontinue being in the program, but the organization doesn't allow this. Once signed up, it is for
life.
A.C.T.E.M. does extensive research into the customer's life to gain information to be used in the cure.
Special "counselors" are assigned to the customer to spy on him/her as well.
Techniques used to cure alcoholics are very extreme and usually illegal. For example, during one session a
customer watched his wife get tortured with electrical shock every time he drank an alcohol beverage. His
"therapy" was going well until he was observed by a "counselor" sneaking a drink. His wife was reported dead
one hour later. He never again had a drink.
The group has unbelievable success in its work, and it is reported that all of those who enter the program
never have a problem again. In fact, A.C.T.E.M. keeps track of customers until they die to ensure their
continuing success.
Activities: Each customer enters a special, individual, therapy program specifically created for them.
Funding: A.C.T.E.M. is a business organization that makes money through its customers.
The Ambrosiac Society

Abbreviation: T.A.S.
The Ambrosiac Society is a very loose conglomerate of non-lawful individuals whose primary reason for
being together is their love of alcohol. Not just any alcohol is acceptable, for it must be of the highest quality.
A refined sense of taste in alcohol is expected, for the brewing and sampling of alcohol is considered to be a
form of artistic expression. Unlike wine-tasting societies, however, there is no sense of decorum to limit
quantities, and the ability to imbibe vast quantities is another highly valued skill. They are not content merely
to throw themselves into a stupor, however; as they become progressively more inebriated, they enjoy silly
behavior. In particular, they are the bane of bards, because of their interactive approach to entertainment.
Members don't consciously heckle the entertainer; rather, they seek to improve the occasion by acting out
the events described by the bard, throwing miscellaneous equipment around if it can be construed as relating
to the song, and worst of all, loudly and in unison adding lyrics of their own to those of the bard, usually
drowning out the original words and usually making the song considerably more embarrassing than it might
have been.
Activities: The Ambrosiac Society's only important activity is consuming alcohol.
Funding: Funding is provided by the members who chip in for alcohol consumed at meetings and other events.
Anonymous Alcoholics
Abbreviation: A.A.
Anonymous Alcoholics is a fellowship of men and women who share their experiences to help each other
solve their common problem of alcoholism. These people also work to help others recover from alcoholism
through companionship and counseling.
Anonymous Alcoholics is based on religious beliefs. Although not affiliated with any one god, the
fellowship looks to gods for help and guidance.
The group has had remarkable success in its work, and it is reported that about half of those who join never
have a single relapse.
Activities: Anonymous Alcoholics chapters have group meetings for discussion of alcoholism. They also have
small alcoholic-prevention campaigns when funding allows.
Funding: A.A. is a non-profit organization that accepts donations from any reasonable source. The majority of
income is from governmental funding and responsible alcohol establishments.
Citizens Against Drinking And Charioteering

Abbreviation: C.A.D.A.C.
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Citizens Against Drinking And Charioteering is an association that was originally created in a large
community where there was a large problem with intoxicated charioteers killing pedestrians. Eventually, other
communities realized that they had a problem as well with intoxicated drivers killing or injuring people with
their disorderly behavior. In retaliation, they formed their own C.A.D.A.C. chapters.
Activities: C.A.D.A.C. does extensive lobbying in political arenas to push through stiffer penalties for those
operate a moving vehicle under the influence of alcohol. They also have an extensive ad campaign to prevent
and warn people of the dangers of drinking and driving. Prevention is as important as punishment.
Funding: C.A.D.A.C. is a non-profit organization that accepts donations from any reasonable source. The
majority of income is from community fund-raisers, governmental funding, and responsible alcohol
establishments.
Governmental Revenue Task Force - Alcohol Division

Abbreviation: G.R.T.F. - A.D.
Governmental Revenue Task Force is a federal (or imperial) government organization whose purpose is to
seek out and capture those who are making revenue without paying tax on it, which is typically through illegal
means. The Alcohol Division's purpose is to seek out and reprimand those people who are illegally creating,
illegally distributing, and illegally selling alcohol. This illegal activity is known as bootleging.
The government makes a large amount of revenue from taxes collected from the sale of alcohol. When
alcohol is sold illegally, the government doesn't get their rightful (in their opinion) cut of the sale. The proper
course of action for the government is to set up a task force to eliminate the problem.
Field agents of the alcohol division are known as Revenuers. Those people that the Revenuers wish to
capture are known as Bootleggers.
Activities: G.R.T.F.-A.D. seeks out and destroys any illegal alcohol actions.
Funding: G.R.T.F. is funded by the government.
Kill the Drunken Bastards

Abbreviation: K.D.B.
Kill the Drunken Bastards is an association made of fanatics who take it upon themselves to rid their
community of extremely intoxicated people.
The organization has been successful in their campaign to rid the streets of drunks. People watch what they
drink given the harsh consequences of their actions.
The majority of people killed by the organization are those that wouldn't be missed like street urchins and
other dregs of society.
Activities: K.D.B. members patrol the streets at night looking for those people who are greatly intoxicated.
They prefer comatose victims because those are the ones easiest to kill.
Funding: Although no proof can be found, most of the K.D.B.'s funds are received from the government. The
government doesn't mind K.D.B. ridding the communities of some of the more seedier members of society
that serve no purpose like undead.
Mothers Against Alcohol, Dragons, and Dungeons

Abbreviation: M.A.A.D.D.
Mothers Against Alcohol, Dragons, and Dungeons is an organization composed of concerned women whose
purpose to protect children from harm caused by evil influences. During the forming of the organization, the
leaders of the group sited three main areas of harm: alcohol, dragons, and dungeons. Alcohol (and those that
consume the demon spirits) is exposed to children in everyday life in great quantities from various sources and
is an important concern to the organization. Dragons whether good or evil ultimately cause nothing but harm
to civilizations and must be destroyed. Dungeons and adventurers give children a false sense of reality and
may lead them away from a good, safe, long life.
Activities: In addition to the usual protests and lobbying, M.A.A.D.D. has an extensive propaganda campaign.
Some of visuals of the organization are tapestries showing the carnage caused by alcohol, dragons, and
dungeons that are typically displayed at schools and other public areas. They also post holy symbols at
locations where any innocent persons were killed by one of the deadly problems. Yet another visually aid of
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theirs is shattered and burned armor to show the destructive effects of dragons and to discourage those who
want to adventure in dungeons.
Funding: M.A.A.D.D. is a non-profit organization that accepts donations from any reasonable source. Most
income to the organization is from families and lawful, strict, religions.
People Against Bull Shiting Temperancers

Abbreviation: P.A.B.S.T.
P.A.B.S.T. is an unorganized organization composed of anybody who enjoys drinking. Its founders were a
bunch of drunks in a tavern who were getting sick of listening to the bull-shit (i.e. propaganda) of some
alcohol protestors and thus formed this organization to anti- protest.
A P.A.B.S.T. member can be identified by a small blue ribbon worn somewhere on his clothing. Members
meet whenever they want at any alcohol place. Meetings consists of drinking alcohol and playing games.
"Hey honey, I got to go to an important PABST meeting tonight."
Activities: Whenever anybody hears of an alcohol protest, P.A.B.S.T. members get drunk and find the
protesters to anti-protest. Their anti- protest consists of drinking more alcohol, loud obnoxious chants, and the
occasional burps. Usually, their anti-protests end up in a fun brawl.
Funding: Alcohol establishments collect money for the organization, what the money is used for is generally
unknown since there is little need for it.
Temperance League
Abbreviation: T.L.
Temperance League is an organization formed to peacefully stop the manufacture and sale of all types of
alcoholic drinks and create a society of total abstinence through religious and political parties, and other
groups. But it does not affiliate itself with any political party or god, and it does not express opinions on
subjects not connected with the alcohol problem.
The league tries enforce prohibition laws. It tries to build up public sentiment against alcoholic beverages.
Activities: The Temperance League holds many protests around alcohol establishments of all types from
creation to consumption. They also do extensive lobbying in political arenas to push through prohibition laws.
Furthermore, T.L. has an extensive propaganda campaign to saturated populated areas telling of the evils
of alcohol. One technique is to show extreme cases of "dangerous" exotic alcohol beverages like Minotaur
Malt Liquor and Lycanthrope Moonshine which are cited as the "ultimate" level of perversion of alcohol.
Alcohol created by monsters is the work of the 9 Hells and the 666 Layers of the Abyss.
Funding: T.L. is a non-profit organization that accepts donations from any reasonable source.
Terrorist's Tactical Temperance League

Abbreviation: T.T.T.L.
Terrorist's Tactical Temperance League is a temperance organization who believes that the way to stop the
manufacture and sale of all types of alcoholic drinks and create a society of total abstinence is through violent
means because the ends justify the means. Destroying the source of alcohol production and sales is the best
way to get rid of the problem.
This league is not condoned by the The Temperance League publicly, but off the record they find some of
their work acceptable.
Activities: Terrorist's Tactical Temperance League prefers a more direct approach to stopping alcohol
consumption. Destroying alcohol establishments is one of their favorite techniques. They are selective though.
Destroying only one place every few months sends fear to patrons and a warning to owners. Destroying to
many places in a short time might cause a major crack down on terrorist activities which could destroy the
organization. Fear is the key to success and causing fear is T.T.T.L.'s main activity.
There are a few less dramatic techniques then total destruction but equally effect in causing fear. The
simplest and usually legal form of expression is picketing bars, wineries, breweries, etc.. Picketing the homes
of workers with alcohol related jobs is a little more effective. Better still is harassing the families of these
workers (an exceptionally nasty version of this is to have other children harass the target's children at school).
Harassing the customers entering and leaving bars would also be effective. Blockading, both in terms of
nailing doors and gates shut and blocking entrances with their own bodies, alcohol establishments is also very
telling. Stench bombs targeted at bars and production sites are capable of sending a message.
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Funding: T.T.T.L. is a secret organization that accepts donations by any means possible, i.e. people donate
willingly or unwillingly. Various fund-raisers include thievery, extortion, kidnapping, etc..
The Old Pledge Temperance League

Abbreviation: T.O.P.T.L.
The Old Pledge Temperance League used to be The Temperance League until The Temperance League's
goals became that of total abstinence or teetotalism. Thus, those of The Temperance League who believed in
The Old Pledge created The Old Pledge Temperance League. The Old Pledge is a pledge to be abstinent from
spirits but allows the consumption of wines and beers which seems necessary to substitute the dangerous,
polluted water.
The Old Pledge Temperance League functions like The Temperance League with only their goals being
different.
Activities: The Old Pledge Temperance League holds many protests around alcohol establishments that sell
liquor or create liquor. They also do extensive lobbying in political arenas to push through liquor, prohibition
laws. They also have an extensive propaganda campaign to saturated populated areas telling of the evils of
liquor. Finally, they try to counter any points that The Temperance League makes against them.
Funding: T.O.P.T.L. is a non-profit organization that accepts donations from any reasonable source.
REVENUER: FIGHTER KIT
Description: The Revenuer is a field agent for the Governmental Revenue Task Force - Alcohol Division.
The Revenuer's job is to seek out those people who are illegally creating, illegally distributing, and illegally
selling alcohol; activities known as bootleging.
The Revenuer is very intelligent and understands the criminal mind quite well.
The Revenuer has a very professional appearance when not undercover. He wears a business suit or
appropriate formal wear for the locality, is clean and well-kept. When dealing with the public, the Revenuer is
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very courteous and polite unless dealing with the seedier side of the public in which case a show of power and
strength may be in order.
Because the Revenuer works for the government, he must keep accurate notes and make accurate,
complete reports to his superiors.
Role: Being on the side of the law, the Revenuer isn't always loved by the people. The Revenuer represents
the tax grip on society the government has and few like it. This is not to say that the Revenuer is hated. The
Revenuer is very professional and kind in dealing with the public and has made some friends especially those
that receive gold for information.
Sometimes local authorities don't like the interference from supposedly superior law enforcement such as
the Revenuers, and dealings with them can get touchy. However, the true enemies of the Revenuer are
bootleggers or worse, organized crime aka the mob.
Alignment: A Revenuer must be lawful, but this doesn't mean he is totally law abiding. He obeys and respects
laws and is lawful in everyday life. But when it comes to work, a Revenuer may overlook the law to succeed,
usually with the approval of those that make the laws.
Weapon Skills: Bonus: Skilled mastery in Cimarron Six-Shooter (DRAGON #176, The Voyage of the
Princess Ark. The Complete Guide to AD&D Technology). Required: Specialization in one form of non-lethal
combat (i.e. punching, wrestling, martial arts). Recommended: Any Schnell & Wilkes Products (The
Complete Guide to AD&D Technology), War Hammer for smashing up contraband, Dagger or Knife because
it never hurts to have a small handy weapon.
Non-Weapon Skills: Bonus: Reading/Writing (native language), Tracking. Required: Etiquette, Land-Based
Riding. Recommended: Animal Handling (dog), Modern Language. Distilling, Brewing, and/or Wine-Making
because it helps to know exactly how its done.
Equipment: The Revenuer may spend his money as he wishes. The Revenuer's equipment such as a weapons
and transportation are provided by the government as well as room and board if necessary. However, most
Revenuers eventually buy their own equipment so as to get better quality items.
As stated previously, the Revenuer typically wears a business suit or appropriate formal wear for the
locality unless undercover in which case he wears appropriate clothing. When on a dangerous assignment like
an alcohol raid, the Revenuer does wear armor.
The Revenuer sometimes uses dogs such as boozehounds in his career. Some Revenuers buy their own
dogs for use in work and for companionship.
Another animal of great use to the Revenuer is the golden spirit hamster. In an area where all alcohol is
illegal like in a "dry" society or an evil illegal alcohol manufacturing center and the man- power of all the
Revenuers cannot stop the problem, turning loose golden spirit hamsters to destroy all alcohol is a practical
and economical practice.
Special Benefits: The Revenuer gains a bonus equal to his level to his Tracking proficiency when tracking
bootleggers.
At 5th level, the Revenuer can intimidate all enemies of lesser level causing there moral to be lowered by
5.
Special Hindrances: Because of his unpopularity with the less fortunate, the Revenuer takes a -3 reaction
adjustment when meeting persons of the lower lower class, the middle lower class, the upper lower class, and
the lower middle class.
The more successful the Revenuer is in his job, the more enemies he makes and the more his enemies
would prefer him dead. Thus, the Revenuer should always be careful of attacks from enemies. WACO.
Although any good GM will realize this and won't need rules for it, assign a percentage chance per level of a
contract being placed on the Revenuer's head. There is a 1% per level, rolled upon attaining each level to see
if a contract to kill the Revenuer is made. Kinda makes the player nervous when the character exceeds 10th
level. To maintain role-play, this would be in addition to any contracts or general rewards for the death of the
Revenuer that were the result of any specific action.
The Revenuer is under employment of the government and if he doesn't show results, the government may
dismiss him.
Wealth Options: A Revenuer starts out with 4d4x10 gold pieces. Working for the government gives the
Revenuer a steady income that is dependent on the economy of the region he works in. GMs should give the
Revenuer a weekly pay that is fair and reasonable.
Races: The Revenuer can be of any race but is usually the race that is in the majority of the country he works
in and the government he works for.
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NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS & THEIR WORK
Walfuerth Trading Company (formerly the Ambrosiac Trading Company)
Run by Hermann Siegmund, Markgraf von Walfuerth, formerly in partnership with the halfling thief, Kendor.
[Note: precise stats for both characters best left to the GM for the purposes of his campaign, as Walfuerth is
*quite* high level. He is a Nosferatu vampire of more than a thousand years of age, who in life was a dual-
classed Fighter- Mage. He reached 5th level as a fighter before progressing to magic; at the very least, he is
now an arch-mage. Kendor was once a 10th level thief, and is now a Nosferatu vampire slave of Walfuerth.]
Years ago, when Kendor had first retired as an adventurer and set up a thieves' guild in Narwell, he had a
moderate stock of very fine, highly-intoxicating wine. After he had met the Markgraf von Walfuerth, and was
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first exposed to the effects of the spell Metamorphose Liquids, he was entranced by the possibilities of
producing vast quantities of this wine for sale. Thus began the partnership.
Even though the high market value of the wine kept the level of sales low, this arrangement proved quite
lucrative. Walfuerth was responsible for the production of the wine, and Kendor for its sale, and both
prospered. However, when Kendor came out of his retirement and took once more to adventuring, his
ambition and desire for vengeance led him to murder a fellow adventurer, and he was seduced to evil. Seeing
his opportunity, Walfuerth began to dominate Kendor, and eventually made him an undead slave. At about
this time, Walfuerth took once more interest in politics, and took control of the Duchy of Garnburg. Now with
an entire Duchy to finance, he expanded his alcohol trade to a broader trading company, but the wine remains
an important component of his sales.
Aronwy Mac Ley (Male human 14th level priest of Goibhniu)
AC 3/2; MV 9"; hp 60; #AT 1; THAC0 12; D by weapon +1, SA spells; SD +3 to saves vs. mind-affecting
spells; AL NG; S16, I15, W17, D14, Co13, Ch12.
Weapon skills: bastard sword, halberd, war hammer, spear, short sword.
Non-weapon skills: Brewing, Weaponsmithing, armorer, spellcraft, carpentry, healing.
Spells: 8,8,7,6,3,2,1
Arms/Armor: splint mail, shield, bastard sword, halberd, spear, war hammer.
Now in his retirement in his later fifties, Aronwy remains healthy and muscular. He is 6'5" tall and weighs in
at 225 lbs.. A typical Celt, he has fair skin, red hair, and blue eyes.
A dedicated if roving priest of Goibhniu, Aronwy often found the necessity to fight on behalf of his people
in his youth, and out of this grew a moderate if violent adventuring career. In the face of an overwhelming
cataclysm that killed off most of his tribe, however, he decided to look elsewhere, and took to Wildspace.
Landing eventually upon the Rock of Bral, Aronwy met a fellow drinker and part-Celt in Trent, and the
two often went carousing between forays into space. It was this that prompted Aronwy to learn the arts of
brewing, and he soon set up a small establishment for the part-time brewing of beer.
On one foray into space, Aronwy learned the arts of making wine (from the Duchy of Laval) and vodka
(from the Principality of Zhernokoviya), and eagerly added these recipes to his brewery. Shortly thereafter, he
retired as an adventurer, and settled on the Rock of Bral. He has also opened up his brewery to the public.
Aronwy's operation is not large, available space on the Rock and the need to import all supplies precluding
too much expansion, but it is of high quality. Furthermore, the relative scarcity of vodka (since Zhernokoviya
produces only for its own consumption) ensures a steady clientele.
TAVERNS AND BARS FROM CAMPAIGNS
The Black Grail
The Black Grail is the place to be in Hoedfren (a world). The Black Grail inhabits the seedier side of Benfric,
one of the larger cities in the realm. Its location is not a detriment to its business, though; anybody and
everybody comes to the Grail. Quite simply, if anybody needs to know what is going on in the area, somebody
at the Grail either knows or knows who does. A person best be prepared when he/she enters - after all it is
still the seedier side of Benfric.
The building itself is relatively nondescript - a simply two-story structure, bland on the outside. The inside
is also relatively bland, being furnished with a bar, a score of tables, and the odd common table or two. It is
here that the general riff-raff sample Benfric's finest ales and mutton.
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Alas, the menu is simple: roast mutton or some other animal unlucky enough to be caught by Holgrim, the
cook; dense, dark bread baked fresh every day; and a variety of fruits and cheeses. The ales, however, are
without comparison in the land. There are at least 20 different varieties, all home-brewed by the owner of The
Black Grail. He also has, if he is paid enough, a small stock of wines and other exotic drinks.
The second floor is where the real action is. It is here that the deals of the Grail happen The first floor is
too loud for the proper business atmosphere, and the illustrious owner (whose name is known by no one)
quickly established a more suitable place for his patrons to discuss matters other than wine and women. More
than one king or duke has visited The Black Grail to further his own interests, and the owner's connections are
potent and sometimes surprising. This floor is simply a series of small rooms, each with two tables, six chairs,
and a desk. They are fairly well-furnished with tapestries, paintings, and the like, and each room has its own
servant girl. The food for these guests is remarkably varied, ranging from the fare served the general populous
to the exotic Eastern fares and Lyrellian dishes. Needless to say, to be a part of this circle requires that a
person knows the right people and possesses the right incentives for the owner. The drink is similarly as
varied.
In a sense, it is a feat that The Black Grail was not destroyed many a time. The bouncers (and there are
some) keep the drunks and under remarkable control, and those who conduct business upstairs do so civilly.
But, a terrible war has befallen the land, and it is feared that The Black Grail may not be any more.
Tispy Dawn Tavern
Tispy Dawn Tavern, a tiny little place in Ta'Nadria (a nation in my in a specific world which is much like
Furyondi in Greyhawk, but with a paladin for a King). It's run by a 22nd level illusionist, semi- retired, who
likes to put on a show for his customers whenever he's in a good mood. Which is most of the time. Every so
often (about once a week, maybe twice), the inn gets torched by dragons. The thing is that the dragons in
Farlana (the world in which Ta'Nadria and the Tispy Dawn Tavern reside) are much bigger and more
dangerous than elsewhere, so this is truly an awesome display. Why? Because the dragons are illusions by the
illusionist. It's his specialty because he has actually trained with several dragon mages, and has developed his
dragon illusions with them as subjects. Quite realistic.
There are no rooms here. The bottom floor is the huge common room, with LOTS of tables. (The place is
popular.) The entire upper floor is the kitchen and brewery. Food is delivered by dropping platters onto each
table. The place is decorated by paintings which change about every fifteen minutes or so, at odd intervals, so
the patrons never get bored. They are all spectacular art, too. The tables are lit with illusory candles, which
seem to light the area exactly as much as the people at the table want it lit. The "barmaids" are actually
illusory little multi-colored lights, which come and take your order. Then they float up through one of the
many holes in the ceiling to deliver the order to the kitchen staff, which is one of the best in the world. Drinks
will always be ready within a minute, unless special requirements are needed. And they have every drink
available in Farlana. Even seasonal drinks are available all year long (magic does many wonders).
TAVERNS AND BARS FROM NOVELS
The Coronet in Cinnabar

from Cinnabar, fiction
by Edward Bryant
Cinnabar
Cinnabar can be reached from the south by a dusty trail which loops around wind-eroded buttes, over dry
stream beds, and among clumps of grey scrub brush. Alternatively, taking a straighter path but always within
sight of the roadway is the elevated train track. But, no trains have run in centuries and the track is streaked
with verdigris. The elevated train is rumored to run to a place called Els, but no one is quite sure; no one
remembers ever having traveled so far.
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Closer to the city, the road is lined with the burned-out shells of what had once been school buses. This is
followed by a mile-wide greenbelt, a sward of grass and trees continually tended by small silent machines.
The greenbelt contains a number of different water fountains.
At last you reach Cinnabar, a city of glass towers and metal walls, perched atop red cliffs crumbling down
to a narrow band of beach (Tondelaya Beach) and then the ocean, in the west. If travelers to Cinnabar ask for
an inn or hotel of some sort, they will be directed to the Coronet, which may be found by just following the
road, and looking for the sign of the crown.
The Coronet
The innkeeper is named Kaufmann (disparagingly known as Lash), a ponderous man given to fits of anger.
This is often directed against the serving girls, which he has been known to whip for merely spilling a tray of
drinks. (They are suspended by a rope from the ceiling timbers of the inn.) He is usually found behind the
polished dark-wood bar.
The bouncers at the Coronet are named Enrique and Gonzago, two identically short, swarthy men. They
are usually on the premises, but often remain in the back room, unless it is night. If they must make an
appearance during the day, they do their best to appear unobtrusive.
There are at least three serving girls (all with blue eyes and long blonde hair in braids), two buxom cooks,
and a half-witted busboy (who wants to be a cycler). All of them are loyal to Kaufmann.
By day, the Coronet is given over to the tourist trade. These individuals sit around the Coronet, eating
fruit ices, and wearing knit shirts with alligator totems over the heart. There is a jukebox in a corner, playing
dobro songs, and the rythmic, incoherent patterns of tourist-talk.
At night, there will be thirty or more ground cycles parked in the street outside of the Coronet. Inside, it is
noisy, and the jukebox is blaring, with a heavy beat. The front room is crowded with cyclers, giant muscular
men with their giant muscular women. All are identically dressed in filthy trousers and sleeveless jackets
(which have a patch sewn on the back). All (men and women) are shaved hairless. The air smells of beer
farts, sweat, and piss. Enrique and Gonzago stalk among the cyclers, neither unobtrusive nor furtive, but
rather with an air of readiness. The tables have been shoved to the right side of the room, and a pool table has
been installed.
When you leave the Coronet, you walk along a cracked and buckled sidewalk, past a line of storefronts
(with shades drawn and doors locked). If it is at night, the streetlights will be on. Around the first corner is a
small park with a few trees and a raised grassy center. In the park are a few benches, and a human-high stone
obelisk with a blank plaque. If the plaque is examined, it can be discerned that there once was an inscription,
but it has been worn smooth with the passage of time. Careful inspection will show that there are four
numerals "2396" which may be traced out.
Denizens of the Coronet
During the daytime, you may find Leah Sand at her customary chair by a planed-oak table, in the front room
of the Coronet. If so, she may be drinking a ginger ale, and perhaps having an ice (pineapple, chocolate, or
watercress) to go with the drink. She is dark-haired and beautiful. She wears crinoline skirts, and works for
the Network.
The Network communicates by paper, which is delivered in an object the size and color of a robin's egg.
There is a pop of displaced air as it appears. If this occurs, she will pick the object up, rap it on the edge of
the table (as if breaking an egg), and remove the paper. Shortly after, both the paper note and carrier object
will evaporate into the air.
During the evening, a Network crew of three people may enter the Coronet. Trillinor is a man almost two
and a half meters (about 7.5 feet) tall. He is heavily muscled, and his skin is the blue-black of the sky before
it rains. Reg is a dwarf dressed in yellow and purple motley, carrying two silver cases, slung by leather straps
so that one rests on either hip. Fiona is a slim albino (coral-eyed) girl, carrying a multilensed camera
(gleaming and faceted like a spider's eye). They are protective of their equipment. No one will appear to pay
them any attention. (It is considered bad form to comment on the camera. This will lead to Trillinor picking
the individual up by the collar with one hand, and slapping them twice *hard* with the other hand. He will
then ask them if they still see the camera. Answering in the affirmative will lead to additional slaps.)
Travellers may also meet up with a tall, gaunt, sunburned man wearing a white, dusty, sweat-stained
burnoose. This man calls himself Wylie Cafter, and purports to be a labor organizer. He believes that he
walked across the desert to Cinnabar, but does not know how long this took. He has lately begun to be
suspicious of his humanity, and is starting to realize that he is an andriod.
Draco's Tavern
from five short stories:
The Schumann Computer
Assimilating Our Culture, That's What They're Doing
Cruel and Unusual
The Subject is Closed
Grammar Lesson
151
which appear in the book "Convergent Series" by DEL-REY books, 1979, by Larry Niven
Draco's Tavern is located on in the Mount Forel Spaceport on Earth. The bar is owned by a human named
Rick Schumann, he has at various times fantastically wealthy, and nearly broke.
The drinks are very expensive, the equivalent of $40. /drink, if the PC's have gold or silver, they should be
able to get it exchanged by Rick.
Many of the bars patrons (non-human) use artificial translation widgets, and these tend to be very loud, so
the bar has very good accoustics for damping out sound that is not immediately local (ie., its very hard to hear
what someone at another table is saying unless you're right there.)
The clientele include both humans (astronauts, Spaceport staff, newsmen, xenophiles) and several non-
human races:
- The Chirpsithtra, an ancient race which may (by their own account) rule most of the stars in the galaxy.
They are 11 feet tall, weight 120 pounds. Their skins are salmon pink and they have an exoskeleton which
covers vital areas and looks similar to body armor, despite this they are not overly physically strong. If the
PC's find a Chirpsithra in a talkative mood they may be able to get it to answer many questions both
technological and philosophical. They can become intoxicated on a special form of electrical energy
(available at Draco's). As a race they look out for one another, if one is hurt or killed, they have a very strict
eye for an eye policy. Calling one a liar is a mortal offense as is being rude to one. All Chirpsithtra are
female.
- Thtopar are physically VERY strong, and are by nature lawful in the extreme. (They are so strong they
might injure/kill someone in the event they are involved in a physical altercation - by accident of course.)
They drink absolute alcohol (ie., 100%), this could be used against your PC's for some ammusement.
The year in which the stories occur is difficult to discern (if it's explicitly stated, I didn't see it the other
night when I was looking the stories over), I would guestimate that the stories are placed in the early 21st
century say 2020 or there abouts (but that's just my opinion.)
STORY TIME
Drinking Contest
By Barak
It was midnight and the Stinky Pig Tavern was having a rather slow night. Only six men were there:
Galadan the great (a dwarf on a permanent ego-trip), Tirnon Redrobe (mage who loves the company of elfish
females), Merrcran (a tall and hairy minotaur), Ferdencia Kasht (Kender handler), an unfamiliar half-elf, and
your humble storyteller.
The ugly dwarf stood upon his chair and called "I, Galadan the Great, slayer of dragons will drink a gallon
of beer... just to prove my dwarven superiority!"
"Shut up you little bug," said Merrcran.
At that time Tirnon was already... say busy... with his elven friend... normally I would stop these fights
before they start but I was too busy bargaining beer prices with the bartender.
So it turned out to be that the cocky dwarf and the annoyed minotaur began a drinking contest, the half-elf
was more then happy to cover the price of all beer drunk (he was bored and wanted to see them make fools
out of themselves, he ended up paying 32 steel pieces for that) so the race was off...
152
Our well-built dwarf (Con 19) drank without stopping. The tall minotaur followed not far behind,
intoxication levels increased but none of them could afford to lose so they went on.
At this point I should add that the Stinky Pig is famous for it's POOL OF BEER, like a swimming pool
only water is replaced with beer.
When he reached the final level of intoxication, Merrcran decided to stop and lost the bet, he was so angry
that he grabbed the dwarf (plate mail sword n' all), lifted him up in the air and tossed him towards the beer
pool! Given his current condition he missed... the dwarf was thrown to hard and landed 10' behind the pool.
Still raging the minotaur drew his sword and ran to kill the stunned Galadan, little did he know the young
half-elf had his feet in the way. Merrcran tripped and dived head first into the beer pool! Ferdencia quickly
pooled him out (after a successful Lift Gates) and he was saved from sure death by beer.
Drinking with Orcs
Renkor the Wizard is pretty tough for a wizard, and while travelling disguised as a slave trader through the
evil lands, he decided to make friends with some orcs while in a pub. He went up to them and claimed to be
"an orc in spirit, if not in flesh", so they challenged him to drink a rat to prove himself. This disgusting act
involves swallowing a live rat while necking a pint of cheap ale. Not for the faint hearted.
Renkor accepted, and after a couple of tries succeeded in swallowing that rat. He then challenged one of
the orcs to a contest swallowing two rats at once. The orc lost, nearly choking to death on one of the rats.
Renkor then learned orcish drinking songs with his new found friends, until getting to one which involved
using severed elvish heads as a substitute for camp followers. Renkor suggested doing this with hobgoblin
heads, and accompanied his friend out of the door to find a hobgoblin, at which point the orc passed out from
drunkenness.
The rest of the party found Renkor in a pool of his own vomit in the morning, with a massive hangover,
although curiously he had failed to vomit up any of the three rats he had swallowed.
What a Bard did Recently in the Pub of His Mother's Hometown

by Martin
The bard grew up in a very different region (wine area) and was annoyed by alcoholism. In that pub they had
only beer. He took a big mug of beer and started talking about beer, wine and alcoholism. In between he
drank from the beer, and walked to the middle of the room and asked the people to make four square meters
of free space in front of him. Not to piss off the locals, he soon considered to stop arguing about alcoholism,
and with the final words "... and sometimes it is better to go just for the taste, and that it can pay off to spit the
beer out afterwards.", he took a big sip of beer in his mouth and then, without providing a torch, he exhaled a
2.5 meter long fire-flamed into the middle of the room. The noise was that of blowing a mouthful of liquid
into the room. While the flame still was in the room, suddenly from its center (about 2 meter away from the
bard) lots of golden coins appeared and fell down on the floor. After the people recovered from there surprise
they found that the coins were eatable.
This was the only mentionable thing that the bard had done that evening. Since then, from time to time,
(the Bard travelled on the next day), the locals talk about the "Goldfire of Bezlan".
THE TRICK: Bezlan, 4th level bard, had three spell available, and being secure in the village for four days he
could afford to learn spells for show only. These spells were Cantrip (level 1), Phantasmal Force (level 1), and
Fool's Gold (level 2). Since he had no "Improved Phantasmal Force", he had to make up for the sound by
blowing out a mouthful of beer.
The Phantasmal Force let the people believe that the beer coming out was the big fire flame. The Fools
Gold turned some sweet disks into gold, and the Cantrip put the coins at the end of the flame, thus they
showed up out of the flame or out of nothingness.
So far Bezlan did this only once; he worked on the idea for several weeks while on the road, and he was
scared like hell that the spells would not come out and be blamed forever in this town.
153
GLOSSARY
Wine, the Pegasus of poets.
--- Pontanus
Amethyst - Supposedly this gem will prevent intoxication.
Barrel - A cylindrical container with slightly bulging sides and flat ends.
Bourbon - A whiskey distilled from corn mash.
Cask - A barrel of any size, especially one for liquids.
Debauch - A drinking spree or bout that usually includes excessive sexual activity.
Grog - A mixture of rum and water. Admiral Edward Vernon, concerned that his men were becoming
habitually intoxicated on their daily rum ration, ordered the rum to be diluted with water. The resulting
mixture was named for the admiral's sobriquet, "Old Grog", which he earned for his habit of braving
inclement weather in a coat made of a wool-silk- mohair combination known as grogham. Vernon's practice
was soon widely imitated, and some captains found a way to line their pockets by watering the grog further.
154
Sailors, unhappy with "half and half grog", were incensed by the even weaker "seven-water grog". From the
term "grog" are derived "groggy", "groggily", "grogginess", "grogged", and "grog-fight" (drinking party).
Jackroller - Thieves Cant for a thief who usually robs drunks.
Keg - A very small barrel.
Moonshine - Distilled whiskey.
Sobriety Deficient - Player Character term for being drunk.
Tun - A large cask.
DRINKING SONGS
The Glory of Adventure
When the enemy's surrounding,

and we think our nerves will fail,
when we hear the trumpets sounding,
and they make us quake and quail,
grab your mug and we'll be pounding
down another round of ale!
And we'll drink,

to the glory of adventure!
If there ever comes the day

when we think that we are lost,
when we think that we must pay
that most dear and final cost,
we'll just pass around the tray,
and feel better when we're sauced!
And we'll drink,

155
When we're angry and upset,
'cause we ain't been getting paid,
when we're tired, cold and wet,
and a little bit afraid,
we'll keep drinking and forget
that we ever were dismayed!
And we'll drink,

When the boredom makes us jumpy,

and the motion makes us ill,
when the food is cold and lumpy,
a disgusting, slimy swill,
there's no reason to be grumpy;
tap the keg, and drink your fill!
And we'll drink,

When the captain's really sore,

'cause he thinks he's being mocked,
when he's pounding on our door,
and we're certain to get socked,
have a drink, and tease him more;
we'll feel nothing if we're crocked!
And we'll drink,

A Bumper of Good Liquor
A bumper of good liquor

Will end a contest quicker
Than justice, judge, or vicar;
So fill a cheerful glass
And let good humour pass.
But if more deep the quarrel,

Why sooner drain the barrel
Than be the hateful fellow,
That's crabbed when he's mellow.
So fill a cheerful glass
And let good humour pass.
To Taste the Barrel
When neebours anger at a plea,

An' just as wud as wud can be,
How easy can the barley-bree
Cement the quarrel!
It's aye the cheapest lawyer's fee
To taste the barrel.
Sons of Care, 'Twas Made For You
By the gaily circling glass

We can see how minutes pass;
By the hollow flask we're told,
How the waning night grows old,
How the waning night grows old.
Soon, too soon, the busy day,

Drives us from our sport away;
What have we with day to do?
156
Sons of Care, 'twas made for you!
Sons of Care, 'twas made for you.
By the silence of the owl;

By the chirping on the thorn;
By the butts that empty roll;
We foretell the approach of morn.
Fill, then, fill the vacant glass;
Let no precious moment slip;
Flout the moralising ass;
Joy finds entrance at the lips.
SOME FAMOUS AND NOT SO FAMOUS QUOTES ON WINE
Plant no tree sooner than the vine.
--- Alcaeus
Rain makes the vine grow;

The vines make the wine flow,
Oh, Lord! Let it rain!
--- Anon
Here's to champagne, the drink divine

That makes us forget our troubles;
It's made of a dollar's worth of wine
And three dollar's worth of bubbles.
--- Anon
Wine is at the head of all medicines;

where wine is lacking, drugs are necessary.
--- Babylonian Talmud
Make the vine poor and it will make you rich.
--- Anon
Where there is no wine there is no love.
157
--- Euripides
Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.
--- Alexander Fleming
Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried,

with fewer tensions and more tolerance.
--- Benjamin Franklin
Wine is light, held together by water!
--- Galileo
The weary find new strength in generous wine.
--- Homer
Wine opens the seals of the heart.
--- Horace
Wine is like sex in that few men

will admit not knowing all about it.
--- Hugh Johnson
Wine prepares the heart for love,

Unless you take too much.
--- Ovid
For they eat the bread of wickedness,

and drink the wine of violence.
--- Proverbs 4:17
He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man:

he that loveth wine and oil shall not be rich.
--- Proverbs 21:17
Never did a great man hate good wine.
--- Francois Rabelais
In Vino Veritas.
In wine is truth.
--- Anon
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth:

for thy love is better than wine.
--- Solomon 1:2
Bread and wine make the road seem shorter.
--- Anon
This wine should be eaten; it is much too good to drink.
--- Jonathan Swift
Wine, the devine juice of September.
158
--- Voltaire
Wine, one of the noblest cordials in nature.
--- John Wesley
OTHER RELATED READING MATERIALS
My books are water: those of the great geniuses are wine.

Everybody drinks water.
--- Mark Twain
AD&D Sources
A Room for the Knight, DRAGON issue #136 - Rating the inns and taverns of fantasy campaign worlds.
On the Rocks at Slab's, DRAGON issue #105 - A story of drunkenness.
Love and Ale, DRAGON issue #121 - An excellent story of a tavern becoming enlightened with love.
Moonlight, DRAGON issue #179 - An interesting story of an exciting and powerful drink.
Well Bottled at Slab's - DRAGON issue #126, A story of a spirited inn.
Other Sources
The Beer Book; An Illustrated Guide to American Breweriana by Will Anderson, 1940. Princeton, N.J. : Pyne
Press, c1973.
Brewed in America; A History of Beer and Ale in the United States by Stanley Wade Baron, 1922. Boston,
Little, Brown, c1962.
A Dictionary of Words about Alcohol by Mark Keller, 1907. New Brunswick, N.J. : Publications Division,
Rutgers Center of Alcohol Studies, c1982.
159
SPECIAL THANKS
When you ask one friend to dine,

Give him your best wine!
When you ask two,
The second best will do.
--- Henry Longfellow
No nation is drunk where wine is cheap, and none

sober where the dearness of wine substitutes ardent
spirits as the common beverage. Wine brightens the
life and thinking of anyone.
--- Thomas Jefferson
Douglas Adams author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy from which the idea for Spelljamming
PanGalactic GargleBlaster drink was taken.
Adelheyde for his T.A.S. organization and thoughts that appear in the organization section's introduction, the
very intriguing Become Phantasmal Lover spell, Aronwy Mac Ley who began the NPC section, the great
Dipsomaniac Virus; and the imaginative Walfuerth Trading Company.
Barak for his "Drinking Contest" story.
N. Barnes for his "Drinking with Orcs" story.
Evil Wade for suggesting the reverse spell Cause Hangover.
Brent The Phantom for his ingenuity and imagination for without his collaboration on all the deities, there
would be none because he was very creative, hard-working, and inspirational in that project. The idea for the
spell Speak with the Intoxicated. Also, assistant in the alcohol organizations section was invaluable. Also, his
assistance with the Revenuer: Fighter Kit. Also, the great Luch monster.
E. Chaves for his exotic drink The Flaming Amigo.
J. Daniel for his great contribution of the Zombie killer drink.

160
The Darklight for all the AWSOME mage spells: Analyze Drink, Continual Drunkenness, Morrison's Next
Whiskey Bar, Gorann's Rapid Intoxication, Mask Inebriation, Niiraloth's Random Sobriety, Ni-Gar's Panty
Peeler, Malar's Alcohol Detonation. The master of spell creation also made the clerical spells: Cure
Drunkenness, Resist Intoxication, Protection from Intoxication, Zone of Tolerance.
J. Delise for the addition of disguise problem to the Disguise Drunk/Hangover cantrip. Also, the neato Mages'
Brew exotic drink. Finally, his comments that helped form the against argument in the alcohol organizations
section's introduction.
J. Dimech for Dimech beer.
Sethan Dreagothe for his magic-item Nehara's Never-Empty Flask.
L. Dusseault for her suggestions that became the Optional Drunk Disposition Rule and the Optional Boo-Hag
Effect. Also, she did the majority of work on the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome section. Finally, she gave great
information on drug withdrawal problems which became the introduction in the "A More Sinister Side of
Drinking: Alcohol Addiction" section.
The Elf-Lad for his critisms that inspired the P.S. to the preface.
C. Fernando for his revision of the "Stimulants for reocvering from intoxication" section.
Gandalf for his awsome drinks: Spelljamming PanGalactic GargleBlaster, BD 20/20 (Blink Dog 20/20).
P. Goujard for his contribution of the spells Alter Taste and Create alcohol.
A. Grichting for his spell creation of Bucca's Noxious Exhalation.
Mr. Hamby A.K.A. Darkheart Soulreaver for assisting in the creation of the hangover table. He also came up
with the idea of the Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover proficiency and made suggestions for it. And for the
Mythos.
High Imperceptor Tyrus Hellbane for Sidney's Excellent Alcohol and Sidney's Flash Fermentation spells.
Also, the great Rocgut drink.
The Hunter who originally made a submission that was to be for a NPC section. The NPC section never came
about so his submission became the Long Sword of Alcoholism magic-item.
JackFrost for Brindleberry Wine.
John who recommended the Dragon's Blood drink from the book called "Shadow" by Anne Logston. Also for
his friend Marvin Connet who gave the idea for Dwarven Jalepeno Wine.
Greymoon Jones for his Ferment Grape, Know Vintage, and Know Quality cantrips and Speed Fermentation
and Cloud of Intoxication spells. The exotic drinks Brown Mold Beer, Yellow Mold Beer, Obliviax Wine, and
Sparking Wine. Also, the great magic-items La Bouteille Magique de Chandon (Chandon's Amazing Bottle),
Ring Of Wine Spoiling, Tome of Viticulture, Ring of Alcohol Improvement, Ring of Wine Changing, Bottle
of Wine Summoning, Bull Bottle of Beer, Staff of Alcohol. Also, a ton of quotes that appear at the beginning
of most of the sections and the ones that appear in the "Some Famous and not so Famous Quotes on Wine"
section. Not to be left out of the monster business, he created the alcohol ants and the alcohol hummingbirds
(with help from Wes, for help in coming up with the initial stats for a normal hummingbird). Also, his ideas
and input created the "Alcohol Drink Additives" with the Cooler, Memory Stealer, Something to Remember
additives. Copyright (C) 1993 by Greymoon Jones. With permission given for free distribution if credit is
given. Editing is allowed for inclusion in a guide.
De Kerpel for his comments on the rules, for the idea of back to zero for constitution modifiers addition, for
his weight modifiers idea which turned into the weight optional rule, for his intelligence loss idea which
turned into the optional rule, for the idea of a booze creature which turned into Lohocla the Leprechaun, for
his alcohol meter and ring of intoxication prevention magic-items ideas.
T. Knight for his drink Potion of Dwarven Pride.
Lenc former patron of The Black Grail for his The Black Grail tavern in the tavern section.
Ken Lipka for his drinks: Fire Beer, Jagerbeir, Old One-Eye, Tiefling Iced Tea.
161
Martin for his "What a Bard did Recently in the Pub of His Mother's Hometown" story.
Max for his alternative percentage rule, finding a crucial multiplier error, smile addition to the GargleBlaster
drink, the 2nd breath weapon to the dragon, Wineskin of Eternity and Crown of Vines magic-items, and the
Klatchian Coffee drink.
D. Moursund for his contributions to the Net Bard Book from which I took "The Glory of Adventure" drinking
song. Also, for his poem in the title by Henry Aldrich. And numerous comments and corrections on specific
sections of the guide.
Morgan Blackheart of the Chaotic Realm from which his creation of Wimsy Water was turned into Whimsy
Wine as it appears here. Also, the invention of experimental arrows which spawned the conversion to
Dionysus's Maltov Cocktails which ended up in their own section.
W.T. Marchant, author of In Praise of Ale, 1888 (renewed 1968), from which the song "A Bumper of Good
Liquor" (page 258), "To Taste the Barrel", "Sons of Care, Twas Made For You" (page 257) was used. A
magnificent book.
N. Menkus for the The Coronet in Cinnabar write-up in the "Taverns and Bars From Novels" section.
M.S. for his O.D.B. exotic drink.
C. Murphy for his exotic drink Glempe'.
E. Pharr for his Mugs Of Endless Refreshment.
Phlegma the Morbid for the Ring of Intoxication magic-item.
D. Rainbolt for his great contribution of the Dwarven Thrower drink. Plus, his comments for pricing drinks
due to quality.
M. Rible for the ideas presented in the Holy/Unholy Alcohol section and his help with the final draft of it.
R. Righettini for a great idea that turned into Red Righettini exotic drink.
J. Salter for a big variety: the Wine pouring NWP, Sword of Continual Alcohol magic-item, The Table
weapon, Transmute Matter To Alcohol spell, The Silver Wolf and The Utter Moron exotic drinks, Rainbow
Dust alcohol drink additive, Herlinte monster, and the wine mixing addition to the bartender NWP.
A. Scott for his idea of giving paladins a bonus when drinking.
C. Snyder Jr. of Johnstown, PA for the magic-items: "You Can't Out- Drink the Brewery" Flask, Darkblood's
Travel Size Distillery, Elixir of Pan, Elixir of Sobriety. For the drinks Dragon's Breath and Cragg's Flaming
Twister. Also, for the spells Simple Distillation and Transmute Water to Wine. Also, for the great information
that became "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Distilleries" section that inspired the "Proficiency
In Distilling" section. Also, information and thoughts that became "When The Still Explodes" section. Finally,
he came up with and advised on the deadly FAE spell.
Elf Sternberg for the original idea of the alcohol dragon which was found in Elf's GameBook, although it was
very underdeveloped it was still a very good idea that I developed into the great dragon presented here.
M. Vest for his Runkelstein's Black Beads magic-item.
Vinnie for his excellent and numerous comments on all aspects of the guide. He came up with and inspired
the alcohol addiction idea and contributed to it immensely. Added the poor labor comment to the alcohol
introduction. Also, comments and additions to the recovery section. Further, he gave the idea for chances of
popular drinks being in establishments.
"Wee Willie" Winkel for the Tankard of Plenty magic-item.
Douglas P. Webb for the Draco's Tavern write-up in the "Taverns and Bars From Novels" section.
162
APPENDIX A: DRUGS
FOR FANATSY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES
COPYRIGHT (C) 1996
*** DISCLAIMER ***
All contents of this guide are presented for game purposes only. In no way is this guide intended to persuade
people to take drugs of any kind. The author of the guide does not condone the illegal use of drugs. Hopefully,
information presented in this appendix will educated on the dangers of drugs. In fact, the misuse of drugs in a
fantasy setting will hopefully educate on the real-world dangers of drug abuse and drug addiction. Just say no.
In no way will the author of this appendix or the contributors of this appendix be held responsible for other
persons' actions.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
· Introduction
· Effects of Drugs
· Recovery from Drug Use
· Drug Use and Drug Abuse Equals Drug Addiction
· Availability
· Scientific Drug Naming System
· Psychedelic Warrior: Fighter Kit
· Exerts from the Armored Saint Guide to Adventuring
163
INTRODUCTION
The nervous system in the body has an inhibitory effect when the body is in a state of extreme emotion. It's
part of the human body's ability to stay in a normal state: "homeostasis". This is what makes cliff-divers like
cliff diving: the nervous system inhibits the abnormal state of fear, essentially by simulating the reaction
opposite to fear: ecstasy. A classical example of this is a slightly depressed person who takes stimulant drugs.
His nervous system increases his depression to counteract the abnormal stimulation, so that he needs to take
stimulants even to feel how people normally feel. Now, when he's off drugs, he will be very depressed.
This explains some withdrawal symptoms. Under the effect of any strong drug, the nervous system
naturally tries to counter that effect. When the drug wears off, the "downer" that is experienced occurs
because the nervous system is still producing that opposite emotion. If a human uses drugs too much, then
his/her nervous system gets into the habit of countering that drug's effect, so he/she starts to need to take the
drug all the time to avoid the awful downers. Eventually, drug addicts need more and more of their drug of
choice in order to have the effect they had the first time they tried it.
EFFECTS OF DRUGS
Although some drugs are very useful and safe, this appendix deals with those drugs that are dangerous and
usually addictive. A thin line exists on which drug that is helpful and safe can become a drug that is dangerous
and addictive. Typically, this line is cause to the dosage or amount of the drug that is taken. Also, prolonged
use of a drug could cause it to enter the danger zone. It is left to the GM's discretion to make a decision on
whether a drug could become dangerous and enter the ranks below. Of course, the GM no doubt has a
notebook full of drugs discussed as fungi, sap, plants, and minerals that are nothing more than dangerous
drugs.
There are nine classifications for stimulants and nine for depressants of dangerous drugs based on potency
and level. In theory there can be an infinite amount of drugs all being different but for play ability there are
nine classifications in the drug categories of stimulants and depressants.
GMs are free to make any variations they wish to individualize a particular drug. In fact, all classifications
presented here which total 18 are merely foundations. The GM still must develop a drug to its full potential.
- A drug should have a specific purpose or outcome. For example, one moderate level 1 drug's specific
purpose is to cause hallucinations which are seen when the drug is used. These hallucinations are in addition
to all effects presented for a moderate level one drug.
- A drug needs to have a benefit or benefits that are real or perceived. People usually have some desired effect
in mind when they start taking drugs and this should be specified. Usually benefits have something to do with
the specific purpose or outcome.
After consuming a serving of a drug, a character must make a constitution check with the following penalties
given on Table A.
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TABLE A: Constitution Check Penalties
Potency Level Abbreviation Penalty

Mild 1 Mild1 -1 after the first serving
Mild 2 Mild2 -2
Mild 3 Mild3 -3
Moderate 1 Mode1 -4
Moderate 2 Mode2 -5
Moderate 3 Mode3 -6
Strong 1 Strg1 -7
Strong 2 Stgr2 -8
Strong 3 Stgr3 -9
The penalties accumulate with each check for each serving. For example, after Rath eats his second "fun-
fungi" mushroom which is a Mild drug of level 3, he makes his Constitution check at -6. Eventually, a
character will fail a Constitution check if he/she continually takes the drug.
Drugs come in two forms, stimulants and depressants and effect a character differently. A stimulant is an
agent temporarily excites or accelerates the function of the body or one of its systems or parts. A depressant is
an agent that temporarily slows vital body processes.
When a character fails a Constitution check, he/she is physically and mentally effected depending on the
potency and level of the drug. Table B lists the effects to a character when a stimulant is used. Table C lists
the effects to a character when a depressant is used.
TABLE B: Effects from a Stimulant
Effect on Mild1 Mild2 Mild3 Mode1 Mode2 Mode3 Strg1 Strg2 Strg3
Morale +1 +2 +3 +5 +6 +7 +10 +11 +12
Strength +1 +2 +3 +6 +7 +8 +12 +13 +14
Intelligence +1 +2 +3 +5 +6 +7 +10 +11 +12
Wisdom +1 +2 +3 +5 +6 +7 +10 +11 +12
Dexterity +1 +2 +3 +5 +6 +7 +10 +11 +12
Charisma 0 +1 +2 +4 +5 +6 +9 +10 +11
Attack Dice 0 0 +1 +3 +4 +5 +8 +9 +10
Hit Points 0 0 +1 +3 +4 +5 +8 +9 +10
% of Spell Fail 20 30 40 60 70 80 100 100 100
TABLE C: Effects from a Depressant
Effect on Mild1 Mild2 Mild3 Mode1 Mode2 Mode3 Strg1 Strg2 Strg3
Morale -1 -2 -3 -5 -6 -7 -10 -11 -12
Strength -1 -2 -3 -6 -7 -8 -12 -13 -14
Intelligence -1 -2 -3 -5 -6 -7 -10 -11 -12
Wisdom -1 -2 -3 -5 -6 -7 -10 -11 -12
Dexterity -1 -2 -3 -5 -6 -7 -10 -11 -12
Charisma 0 -1 -2 -4 -5 -6 -9 -10 -11
Attack Dice 0 0 -1 -3 -4 -5 -8 -9 -10
Hit Points 0 0 -1 -3 -4 -5 -8 -9 -10
% of Spell Fail 20 30 40 60 70 80 100 100 100
NOTES ON DRUG TABLES
Any abilities that reach 0 remain there and cannot drop below 0.
Any abilities that reach 18 remain there and cannot go above 18.
Morale pertains only to non-player characters.
Intelligence, Wisdom, Dexterity, and Charisma indicate the number of points the various characteristics are
lowered temporarily due to the drug. Remember to check the rules to see the effects of attribute lose.
Attack dice refers to adjustments to THAC0 and saving throws. An opponents saving throws vs. magical
attacks made by an drugged character is raised by the same number.
165
Hit points are increased due to the effects of the drug on the drugged person. He/she can physically withstand
more punishment. OPTIONAL RULE: Make the hit point adjustments a percentage of total hit points rather
than a few hit points. For example +1 would become 10%, +2 would become 20%, and +3 would become
30%.
% of Spell Failure refers to the chance that a spell that is cast will fail. A mage or cleric has difficulty with
somatic and verbal components due to his/her condition.
THE HIGH
Being drugged is dangerous although some may argue otherwise. For every failed Constitution drug check,
the player rolls on Table D to get additional effects. All effects are cumulative (i.e. after two failed checks the
character will receive to drug effects from Table D). Effects last for the duration of the "high". High is the
drugged state of intoxication and euphoria.
TABLE D: Drug Effects (1d20)

01 Aura Hallucination
02 Blindness
03 Blurry Vision
04 Courage
05 Deafness
06 Fumble
07 Friendship
08 Happiness
09 Hate
10 Hopelessness
11 Hypnotic Hallucination
12 Magical Ability
13 Monster Hallucination
14 Psionic Wild Talent
15 Scare
16 Self Hallucination
17 Sound Sensitivity
18 Total Confusion
19+ REROLL
AURA HALLUCINATION: The character hallucinates and sees colorful auras around living beings.
Actually, the auras are hallucinations but the character may believe the auras to be life forces, infravision,
ultravision, magic fields, alignment fields, etc.
BLINDNESS: The character is temporarily blinded.
BLURRY VISION: The character's vision becomes very blurred. The distortion causes a -4 penalty on a first
attempt and a -2 on all successive attacks of missile and melee combat.
COURAGE: The character becomes berserk, fighting with a +1 bonus to the attack dice, causing +3 points of
damage, and temporarily gaining 5 hit points. The character fights without shield, and regardless of life, never
checking morale.
DEAFNESS: The character becomes temporarily deaf.
FRIENDSHIP: The character reacts more positively (e.g., tolerance becomes goodwill).
FUMBLE: The character becomes very clumsy and awkward. He/she falls and trips over everything, drops
everything, and always moves in random directions when attempting to move in a specific direction.
HAPPINESS: The character becomes very joyful and gets a feeling of complacent well-being, adding +4 to
all reaction rolls and making attack unlikely unless he/she is subject to extreme provocation.
HATE: The character reacts more negatively (e.g., tolerance becomes negative neutrality).
HOPELESSNESS: The character submits to demands of anybody otherwise the character is 25% likely to do
absolutely nothing in a round.
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MAGICAL ABILITY: The character believes he/she has the ability to cast spells as a mage and a priest. Of
course the character has no such ability, but the character does "cast" spells and does believe they work as
intended.
HYPNOTIC HALLUCINATION: The character hallucinates and sees a weaving, twisting pattern of subtle
colors in the air. This pattern causes the character to become fascinated and he/she gazes at the display as if
hypnotized.
MONSTER HALLUCINATION: The character hallucinates and sees a monster. Level 1 drugs cause the
character to see nothing as the monster. Level 2 drugs cause the character to see an inanimate object as the
monster. Level 3 drugs cause the character to see another person/creature as the monster. Roll on any
encounter table no matter how bizarre to see what monster appears. Roll 1d10 on the following to see how the
character reacts:
01-10 Cower and whimper

11-15 Stare in bewilderment
16-18 Flee shrieking in a random direction
19-20 Try to kill the "monster"
PSIONIC WILD TALENT: The character gains a psionic wild talent that immediately goes into affect.
SCARE: The character becomes extremely scare of everything. The character falls into a fits of trembling and
shaking. He/she has a -2 reaction adjustment and will drop held items. If corned to fight, he/she fights with a
-1 penalties to attack and damage rolls as well as saving throws.
SELF HALLUCINATION: The character hallucinates that he/she is something else. Level 1 drugs cause the
character to believe he/she is a plant. Level 2 drugs cause the character to believe he/she is an inanimate
object. Level 3 drugs cause the character to believe he/she is another person/creature/monster.
SOUND SENSITIVITY: The character becomes extremely sensitive to sound. Sounds are amplified 2 times
the level of the drug. Thus a level 2 drug would cause all sounds heard by the character be amplified by 4 or 4
times as loud.
TOTAL CONFUSION: The character becomes really confused. Roll 1d10 on the following to see what the
character will do:
1 Wander away (unless prevented)

2-6 Stand confused one round (roll again)
7-9 Attack nearest creature one round (roll again)
10 Act normally for one round (roll again)
DURATION
The duration of the high and the effects that accompany it are as followed:
Potency Duration
Level Time
1 0-2 hours
2 1-8 hours
3 2-24 hours
RECOVERY FROM DRUG USE
Time is the only cure for recovering from drug use. Recovery time is based on the Potency level of the drug:
Potency Recovery
Level Time
1 0-2 hours
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2 1-8 hours
3 2-24 hours
Any ability that was increased by 3 or more during the high decreased by the same number during the
recovery. This is do to the create strain put on the body and mind during the high.
As a person recovers, his/her statistics that are affected begin go back to normal half-way through the
recovery time with body strain exception mentioned previously.
At the end of the recovery time, abilities return to normal.
Every hour of recovery, the character must make a successful saving throw vs. poison. Failing the save cause
the character to suffer the dire consequences of withdrawal.
TABLE E: Withdrawal Effects

01 Comatose
02 Itching
03 Rash
04+ REROLL
COMATOSE: The character falls comatose for the duration of the recovery.
ITCHING: The character suffers from an intense itch on a large portion of the body. The character must
constantly scratch the irritated area. Failure cause causes the character to squirm and twist for three rounds
which lessens Armor Class by 4 and attack rolls by 2 during this time.
RASH: A rash develops where the character's skin breaks out in red welts that itch. the character's charisma
lowers by 1 point per hour as the rash worsens.
DRUG USE AND DRUG ABUSE EQUALS DRUG ADDICTION
A person may enjoy taking a drug, but he/she may unfortunately become a victim of it. To represent the
progression of drug addiction the character is assigned a drug addiction percentage (DAP). A character who
has never taken a drug before has a DAP of 0.
Every time a character uses a drug, his/her DAP is increased by 1 if a mild drug, by 2 if a moderate drug,
and by 3 if a strong drug. Thus, Rath who had a DAP of 0 takes a mild drug; his DAP goes to 1. Then, Rath
takes a strong drug,; his DAP goes to 4. Note that it doesn't really matter if a character takes many different
drugs or just one type of drug. They all will eventually lead to addiction. Yet another danger of drugs. This
doesn't necessarily mean that the character is addicted to all drugs of a certain potency (although they may be
substituted at times). Typically, one drug got the character addicted and this will be the drug he will continue
to use to further his addiction.
* If a character's DAP reaches 100, he overdoses and dies. flat-line. *
Every time a character's DAP score increases, he/she must roll percentile dice. Rolling the DAP or under
indicates that the character is addicted to drugs.
How often an addicted person must have a drug is dependent on the potency of the drugs that led to the
addiction. If the majority of drugs taken were strong in potency, then the character must take a strong drug at
least every day. If the majority of drugs taken were moderate in potency, then the character must take a
moderate drug at least every two days. If the majority of drugs taken were mild in potency, then the character
must take a mild drug at least every three days.
Failure to meet this drug dependency results in physical and/or mental consequences. For every day
beyond the required day to take the drug, a character must make a successful save vs. poison with a -1 penalty
for every day after the required day. Failure results in dangerous physical and/or mental problems to the
character. Roll on Table F to get the permanent damage done to the character.
TABLE F: Permanent Damage (1d8)

01 Ability Loss
02 Alignment Change
03 Blindness
04 Deafness
05 Disease
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06 Insanity
07+ REROLL
ABILITY LOSS: The character takes a lose of 1 in an ability score. Roll 1d20 on the following:
1-3 Constitution
4-5 Strength
6-7 Dexterity
8-9 Intelligence
10-11 Wisdom
12-13 Charisma
14-16 The highest ability score.
17-19 The main ability of the character's class.
20 The ability chosen by GM.
ALIGNMENT CHANGE: The character's becomes the complete opposite. Lawful becomes Chaotic. Chaotic
becomes Lawful. Neutral becomes Lawful or Chaotic. Good becomes Evil. Evil becomes Good. Neutral
becomes Good or Evil.
BLINDNESS: The character loses all sight.
DEAFNESS: The character loses all hearing.
DISEASE: The character contracts a disease because his immunity was lowered.
INSANITY: The character is struck with an insanity. Roll 1d10 on the following:
1-7 Roll on Types of Insanity Table of your RPG sourve book.

8-9 Roll on Insanities Table 1 in the Sexual Insanity section of The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal
Knowledge.
10 The insanity is chosen by the GM.
A person can reduce his/her or her addiction in a number of ways. A Neutralize Poison spell lower a
character's DAP to 0, but this won't necessarily keep the character from taking drugs again.
For every week a person is restrained from taking drugs (i.e. clinic, forceful friends, etc.), his/her DAP is
reduced by 1. Some GMs may allow the character to make a Wisdom check once a week. Success indicates
that the character has enough willpower to lower his DAP by 1. Unfortunately, the dangers of not receiving
the drugs could be just as harmful as taking the drug.
AVAILABILITY
Some GMs may want to know the availability of a type of drug. Availability is the likelihood of finding the
drug which is given on the table below. However like monsters, specific drugs may have a greater likelihood
of being found in climate or terrains where the source is located as well as having a lesser likelihood of being
found where drugs must be imported from great distances.
GMs should be warned that total dependence on the availability table could lead to a world filled with
drugs. Discretion is advised.
TABLE: Availability
Potency Level Availability % Chance
Mild 1 Common 75
Mild 2 Uncommon 50
Mild 3 Infrequent 40
Moderate 1 Very Infrequent 30
Moderate 2 Sparse 25
Moderate 3 Scarce 12
Strong 1 Rare 8
Strong 2 Very Rare 4
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Strong 3 Extremely Rare 1
SCIENTIFIC DRUG NAMING SYSTEM

By Dr. Phantom Dr. Ediug
Presented here is a system for giving a scientific name to a individual drug. The main purpose of the system is
to give a drug a name that provides information about the drug that saves the GM from searching through all
the drug rules to find out the information.
After the name of a drug, a series of letters and numbers are given that contain important information. An
example will accompany the instructions for easier understanding.
EXAMPLE: Generic SH.O3492
First, the popular or most common name of the drug is given. In the example, the drug's name is Generic.
The first character in the series is a letter of a S for a stimulant or a D for depressant since all drugs fall into
one of these categories.
The second character, if any, is another letter that is more specific in the description of the drug's type. H for
hallucinogen and N for narcotic. In the example the second character is an H because the drug is an
hallucinogen.
The next character is a period to separate the descriptive part from the remainder of the series.
The first character after the period is a letter that gives the potency of the drug. M for mild, O for Moderate,
and S for Strong. In the example, the drug is moderate in potency.
The second character after the period is a number from 1 to 3 that gives the level (or strength) of the drug. In
the example, the level of the drug is 3.
The third character after the period is a number from 0 to 9 that is the estimate of the duration of the high. A 0
indicates that the duration is less than one hour. A 1 indicates that the duration is between one and two hours;
2-8 work the same. A 9 indicates that the duration is 9 hours or more. In the example, the drug's high will last
between 4-5 hours.
The fourth character after the period is a number from 0 to 9 that is the estimate of the recovery time. A 0
indicates that the time is less than one hour. A 1 indicates that the time is between one and two hours; 2-8
work the same. A 9 indicates that the time is 9 hours or more. In the example, the drug's high will last beyond
9 hours.
The fourth character after the period is a number from 0 to 9 that gives the severity if long term use. Although
a character would consider this number a theoretical estimate of severity, a player knows this number as the
increase to DAP when the drug is used. Typically, this number is 1, 2, or 3 based on the rules presented.
However, some GMs may develop a drug that is more addictive the use and thus would have a high number.
On the same note, A GM may make a drug with a 0 severity and thus no chance of addiction. In any case, any
severity number beyond 9 would be given as a 9 although there shouldn't be a number greater than 9. In the
example, the drug is a moderate drug with a severity of 2 or a 2% increase to DAP when the drug is used.
In the example, the drug Generic is a stimulant hallucinogen of moderate potency level 3. The duration of
the high is 3-4 hours. Recovery time is 9 or more hours. And there is a 2% increase to the drug addiction
percentage when Generic is used.
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PSYCHEDELIC WARRIOR: FIGHTER KIT
Description: The Psychedelic Warrior is simply a warrior that has a fascination and addiction for fighting, for
psychedelic drugs, and for the dangerous combination of the two.
The Psychedelic Warrior has a fascination for exotic experiences and will try almost anything once as long
as it is supposed to be thrilling. On the same note, the Psychedelic Warrior loves exotic items and will try to
become owner of oddities. The warrior's dwelling is an interesting place to visit.
The Psychedelic Warrior uses colorful paints to create strange designs and runes on his face. Face painting
is a requirement if he plans on engaging in combat.
Role: The Psychedelic Warrior is loved by few. His mystical nature and bizarre beliefs frighten most people.
His warrior skills also frighten most people and are one reason why few people voice their dislike to the
Psychedelic Warrior.
Of course, the Psychedelic Warrior seems to find friends wherever he goes. People, especially the young,
are curious and the Psychedelic Warrior is a curiosity.
Alignment: The Psychedelic Warrior should be chaotic and/or neutral in alignment, but it isn't a kit
requirement.
Weapon Skills: The Psychedelic Warrior must spend at least one skill slot on an exotic or odd weapon like the
bolas, boomerang, net, pole- arm, rapier, etc..
Non-Weapon Skills: Bonus: Artistic Ability, Fungi Identification Required: Gaming. Recommended:
Astrology, Dancing, Musical Instrument, Singing
Equipment: The Psychedelic Warrior can buy any equipment he desires but keep in mind his love for oddities.
Special Benefits: The Psychedelic Warrior gets a +5% to any checks made for finding psionic wild talents.
To the Psychedelic Warrior the following is a benefit, to most a hindrance. When the Psychedelic Warrior
enters a stressful situation like combat, he has a percent chance equal to his DAP of going into a unnatural
psychedelic trip. The trip's effects have different manifestations upon the character and last for differing
durations as shown on the table below. Roll 1d20 on the following table to get the effect.
Roll Effect Name

1 Brain Rush
2 Comatose
3 Hallucination
4 Interplanar Contact
5 Irresistible Song and Dance
6 Major Craving
7 Minor Craving
8 Paranoia
9 Psionic Wild Talent
10 Silent Lucidity
BRAIN RUSH: The character gains an additional 1d4 points of intelligence for 1d4+8 hours.
HALLUCINATION: As the name implies, the character sees a hallucination. The character sees a weaving,
twisting pattern of subtle colors in the air. Through the bizarre patterns, the character sees a monster. Roll on
any encounter table no matter how bizarre to see what monster appears. The monster attacks the character as
if real. Although the monster is an illusion, all damage to the character caused by the monster is real. The
hallucination is over in 1d10 turns or when the creature is "killed" in the combat with the character.
COMATOSE: The character goes completely comatose and is not revivable by less than a Limited Wish or
equivalent, not even healing spells will help. The character is comatose for 4d6 hours.
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INTERPLANAR CONTACT: The character actually has a dual consciousness. The consciousness the
character contacts is with a creature on another plane determined at random. Roll 1d10 on the following:
1-6 Prime Material Plane.

7 Astral Plane.
8 Ethereal Plane.
9 Elemental Plane. Roll 1d12.
1-2 Air 9 Ice
3-4 Earth 10 Dust
5-6 Fire 11 Heat
7-8 Water 12 Vapor
10 Outer Plane. Roll 1d20.
1 Seven Heavens 10 Twin Paradises
2 Elysium 11 Happy Hunting Grounds
3 Olympus 12 Gladsheim
4 Limbo 13 Pandemonium
5 Abyss 14 Tarterus
6 Hades 15 Gehenna
7 Nine Hells 16 Acheron
8 Nirvana 17 Arcadia
9 Concordant Opp. 18-20 Roll Again
Roll on a random encounter table for the appropriate plane to get the creature contacted. The character is
aware of his own conscious and his contacted one at all times. He may "control" the contacted creature if
desired but relinquishes control of his own consciousness when doing so. Contact lasts 1d6 hours.
IRRESISTIBLE SONG AND DANCE: The character's mind is suddenly filled with the sounds of hypnotic
music. In response, the character slowly turns in circles while he gives his body up to the rhythm. The effect
lasts 1d4 hours.
MAJOR CRAVING: The character needs a fix and needs it NOW! He will stop at nothing to get it, and will
kill anything or anyone who gets in his way. This effect lasts until the character gets the fix he so desperately
needs.
MINOR CRAVING: The character gets a craving for the next fix. Only a serious situation like a battle will
keep him from getting the next "hit". Effect lasts until the next "hit" is taken.
PARANOIA: The character believes every entity in the vicinity to be a hostile, attacking enemy, and will
attack the closest creature to him or her until "held", unconscious, dead, or otherwise subdued. The paranoia
lasts 1d4 turns.
PSIONIC WILD TALENT: The character gains a wild talent that immediately goes into affect.
SILENT LUCIDITY: The character has complete and total knowledge of the way the universe works, and is
completely at peace with all Creation. During this time of "reverie", any enemies will be dealt with severe
messages about peace and harmony. The duration is 1d6 turns, unless attacked (first attack is an automatic hit;
thereafter AC 10) then the duration is another 1d4 rounds.
Special Hindrances: Three consecutive rolls of Comatose means the character has died due to the long-term
effects of drugs on his body.
The Psychedelic Warrior receives a -3 reaction adjustment hindrance to respectable people such as nobles,
wives, elderly, etc..
Wealth Options: The Psychedelic Warrior gets the starting gold for a warrior, 5d4x10 gold pieces.
Races: The Psychedelic Warrior can be of any race, class, sex, religious persuasion, or sexual orientation.
THE DRUG LIST

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The following is a list of drugs that a GM may throw into a campaign to spruce it up a bit. Drugs should be
considered evil and GMs should devise adventures to stop the transportation, selling, and taking of drugs.
There are many real world example for GMs to feed off of.
In any case, these drugs are listed with game effects that aren't related to the rules above. The GM may
wish to assign a drug classification from the rules to the below drugs to make it work better with this entire
appendix.
A frequency is given for each drug. How it is interrupted is up to the GM but the frequency listed is how
the original writer used it.
Common:
Bog Weed
Bogwort
Fluted Rose
Gayln Root
Mirella
Rare:
Fire Orchid
Morning Dove
Very Rare:
Arglik
Chepok
Kyphal
Mimay
Bog Weed
Freq: Common
Onset: 1d3 rounds
Bog weed is a tall gangly plant found growing in swamps. The leaves, when properly prepared, are a
stimulant Improperly prepared, they are poisonous. They are burnt and the smoke inhaled. This is done with a
brazier and a cloth, which is draped over the head to concentrate the smoke. Users have an unpleasant smoky
smell to them.
Effects: The imbiber receives +2 dexterity and +1 charisma.
Quote: "Hello my dear, you look ravishing. Did you know I can write my name using only my tongue and a
drop of ink?"
Name: Bogwort
Freq: Common
Onset: 1d6 rounds
Bogwort is a short, fleshy plant found growing in muddy swamps. The leaves are pressed and the liquid drunk.
The liquid may be evaporated and the resulting powder mixed with water and consumed.
Effects: The imbiber gets +2 strength (+40% to exceptional str. i.e. 18/60 becomes 18/00, 18/70 becomes 19).
Quote: "Grrrr!"
Fluted Rose
Freq: Common
Onset: 1d6+1 rounds.
This lovely pink flower resembles a small rose. It grows in poor rocky soils at high altitudes in temperate or
tropical areas. The flowers are dried and brewed as a tea. This beverage is a strong relaxant. Imbibers are very
relaxed and tend to be uncaring about external events, whether these events are work, play, or a rampaging
dragon.
Effects: The imbiber gets +4 save vs. fear, +4 morale, -2 dexterity (very relaxed), -4 movement.
173
Quote: "Hey! Why are you hitting me with that sword? Don't be so uptigh..."
Gayln Root
Freq: Common
Onset: 1d4 rounds
This root comes from an aquatic plant similar to cattails. It grows in warm environments and is harvested in
winter. The root is eaten and has a mild radish-like flavor. Gayln root is a euphoric relaxant.
Effects: All ability scores drop to 5 for 2d4 hours, but the user is VERY happy. The imbiber suffers from
extreme suggestibility, is immune to fear (even a ghost?), and has the ability scores return at the rate of 1
point per turn.
Quote: "Whoa!"
Mirella
Freq: Common
Onset: 1d4 rounds
Mirella takes the form of flower buds, which are eaten. A small plant, it grows in the savannah. It blooms for
a short time after the rains in summer.
Effects:: A stimulant, it bestows +1 to Dexterity, +2 to Constitution for purposes of saving throws and ability
checks, and adds 1d8 hp. The lasts for 1d4 hours. Users often have bleeding gums. It is possible (though not
advisable) to "pop a bud" after the first begins to wear off. Sleep is not possible (normally) under the
influence. Users may receive +2 save vs. sleep.
Quote: "What! Where! Showmeshowmeshowmeeeee!"
Fire Orchid
Freq: Rare
Onset: 1d4+2 rounds
The true appearance of this flower is known only to those who collect it. The form used consists of bright
scarlet leaves, which are sucked on for a few minutes.
Effects: The user gains +1 intelligence for 1d4+1 days. Addicts have scarlet lips.
Quote: "How droll."
Morning Dove
Freq: Rare
Onset: 1d6 rounds
A beautiful rare tropical flower found in the jungle near streams. The flowers are dried and brewed.
Effects: The resulting stimulant gives +3 to dexterity for 1d4 hours. Addicts suffer from frequent nosebleeds.
Quote: "Oh look, fifty orc archers! Should I dodge the arrows or just catch them?"
Arglik
Freq: Very Rare
Onset: 1 rounds
A root from an unknown plant. It is prepared in some fashion and formed into strips which are eaten.
Effects: This bestows +3 strength for 2 hours (+90% to exceptional str.) i.e. a 17 str would become 18/60: +1
and +60% (2/3 of 90).
Quote: ROAR! "C'mere..." SNAP!
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Chepok
Freq: Very Rare
Onset: 1d6 rounds
An unknown plant used by natives in the Ravanesh Jungle. The leaves, when chewed and sucked, are a
powerful stimulant and hallucinogen.
Effects: It has many properties. It gives +2 strength (+20% to exceptional), users will fight to -10 hp, wisdom
reduced to 3, making user susceptible to suggestions (treat as the spell); users need not check morale and will
fight until slain.
Quote: "Come here you bloody bastard; I'll bite your knees off!"
Kyphal
Freq: Very Rare
Onset: 1 rounds
This drug is a grayish powder, the exact components are unknown.
Effects: The powder, when inhaled, gives +2 intelligence for 2d6 days. Addicts have a gray pallor.
Quote: "Dullard!"
Mimay
Freq: Very Rare
Onset: 1d6 rounds
A mushroom eaten by shaman and witch doctors for the purpose o divination and prophecy. When eaten the
user goes into a trance-like state and has a wild trip.
Effects: Actual game effects are up to the GM but augury, divination, other rare incense legend lore is
recommended. The trip lasts for 1d4 hours with another 3d4 hours to recover.
Quote: "My God! It's full of stars!"
EXCERPTS FROM THE ARMORED SAINT GUIDE TO

ADVENTURING
The following is information created seperately from the rules presently in this document. However, the
information is useful on it's own and should be used for what it's worth.
175
CHAPTER 10 - Altered States of Consciousness
Let's face it, if the human mind was unable to expand into altered states of consciousness, the world would be
an even more dull than it is today. Altered states do not always have to be chemically induced however.
Think of that split second of unreality you experience after having one or more appendage bashed by some
heavy object. Think of how all objectivity and sense of reality vanish when you stare into the eyes a beautiful
woman and you sense CONNECTION. Chemically induced altered states can be enlightening, soul
threatening and/or both depending on your beliefs and your frame of mind when you begin your journey. Let's
examine few types of chemicals that can alter your state of mind...
Alcohol - Drug of choice for the masses, but seldom seen as a drug by those ignorant of their hypocrisy. In
small amounts, it can have a relaxing effect and it generally lowers inhibitions. Thus, your mild mannered
introvert cab be converted into a glib tongued wag who is the life of the party. On the other extreme, too much
can turn one into a quivering lump who is unable to function at any intelligent level. In fact, I've heard of
people on your realm who worship porcelain deities while performing an act known as the "techni-colored
yawn".
Hallucinogens - A broad term that covers everything from marijuana to Lysergic Acid diethylamide-25
(LSD). While the exact effects upon ones brain are uncertain at best, a noted Spiritualist on your plane, Carlos
Castanada, suggests that these are actually gateways to spiritual realms and are thus fraught with potential
peril and potential rewards. Effects generally include enhanced sensory perception and occasional
hallucinations if large amounts of a particular drug are taken. Thus, walls seem to "breathe" colors are
exceptionally vibrant and music sounds marvelous. On the darker side, hallucinogens can tap into areas of
your mind better left unopened. This can lead to unfounded paranoia and nightmare-like visions which fills
the unfortunate person with terror, fear and depression. A distinction can be made between naturally occurring
hallucinogens such as peyote and psilocybin ("shrooms") and man-made drugs such as LSD and ecstasy. The
former produces a roller coaster ride of moments of complete lucidity followed by moments of mind-bending
hilarity. The effects of LSD, on the other hand, is akin to being shot through space at warp 9 without the
benefit of a space ship.
Cyberspace - Perhaps the most insidious and addictive of all drugs, it has numerous effects upon those who
use it. In the space of a few months, it can turn a fit, active and socially capable person into an overweight,
pizza-gobbling ectomorph with no clue as to how to act around other members of his species. The worst drug
in this area seems to be "Multiple User Dungeons" (MUDs). Although catching on slowly, the authorities
seem slow in recognizing the danger of this particular menace. MUD is turning thousands of unsuspecting
people into unwashed, malnourished and drooling simpletons who live only for their next electron fix.
Listing of Popular Drugs

1) Aphni (Grass, Weed) - The leaves of this plant are pressed into small bricks When chewed a light headed
feeling is produced, and inhibitions are reduced in about 30 seconds. The effects last for about one hour.
People who are intoxicated are -2 initiative. This plant is bushy, about a foot tall and has white and sometimes
purple flowers. The average cost is about 150 silver for a one ounce brick. One brick can provide up to four
doses.
2) Sogee (Speed) - The leaves are picked and boiled, as the water boils off it leaves behind a sappy substance.
It is then taken orally. The effects come on almost instantly. The effects last no longer than two hours. The
user gains +1 on initiative and heightened senses. This is why this drug is often found on the battlefield.
However, if used to often it is very addictive. The bush is short and doesn't flower. The negative effects of use
is edginess, and the person is extremely irritable (for example, if a person is tapping there is a likelihood that
the user will attack him). The cost is about 175 silver pieces for one ounce. There are five doses in one ounce.
This plant can only be found in needle tree forests.
3) Wonder sap (Sap) - The root of this plant is cut and a clear sappy substance is squeezed out. This stuff is
taken orally and produces extreme euphoria. Delusions of nihilism (feeling that nothing's real and that the
person is part of a dream) is often reported. This plant is found in lowland marshy areas throughout the world.
The effects last for about two hours. If a person becomes addicted, reduce Dexterity and Constitution by two
until no longer addicted. Cost is about 250 silver pieces or a half ounce. There are two doses in a half ounce.
4) Jellena (Freedom) - This is a cactus like plant and the sap is collected. It is then boiled with water then
allowed to dry. The cake left behind is then crushed into powder. It is a yellowish powder. One ounce of
powder can be made from two pounds of leaf sap. The ounce of powder is put in a half pint of water and then
drunk. The effects are intense hallucinations (usually audio, but visual hallucinations are possible too) and a
REM type sleep. The person will fall down if he not already laying down. He'll experience all his dreams and
desires s he wants them to be. No communication is possible The effects last for about three hours. It is so
addictive that there is a 75% chance of addiction with each use. Withdrawal is exceptionally painful. This
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drug is extremely rare and the addict will go to any measure to get his next fix. The cost is 1000 silver pieces
or more for just one dose.
5) Lumme (Jyrki) - <Lew'may Yearkey> Clerics are the common users of this drug, or other spiritualists. It
is supposed to allow the user to communicate with his god(s). The beans of the plant are pressed and the oil
produced is collected. Two pounds of beans produce one ounce of oil. The oil is slow burning (about four
minutes to burn one ounce). The oil is lit and the fumes are inhaled as quickly as possible. There is a 20%
chance of heart failure and prolonged use can result in psychotic mental disorders or some personality
disorders. Whether the vision is actually a hallucination or the actual god is up to the GM, but the user will
believe it was the god and will follow through with the commands given (if any). The cost is 1500 silver
pieces per dose.
6) Aphrodisiac - This drug comes from a three foot plant that has white flowers. It looks much like a sun-
flower plant. The flowers are boiled and an amber juice is left behind. It is usually mixed into body lotions.
The effects are lowered inhibitions and an extreme attraction to the opposite sex. It is mildly addictive, found
in equatorial climates, but can be grown almost anywhere (must be sunny). The cost is 200 silver for one
application (bottle of lotion).
SPECIAL THANKS
Bill "Armored Saint" Rhodes for his are exerts from the Armored Saint Guide to Adventuring.
Kenneth Nuckols at University of Central Florida in Orlando, FL who sent the Psychedelic Warrior class
which was converted to the 2nd edition kit presented here. Also, he provided Bog Weed, Bogwort, Fluted
Rose, Gayln Root, Mirella, Fire Orchid, Morning Dove, Arglik, Chepok, Kyphal, and Mimay in the Drug List.
APPENDIX B: DICE GAMES

FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES
COPYRIGHT (C) 1996
177
*** DISCLAIMER ***
All contents of this appendix are presented for game purposes only. There are part of this appendix with dice
games that involve alcohol. In no way is this appendix intended to persuade people of any age to drink
alcoholic beverages. The author of the appendix does not condone the use of alcohol, especially for those
under the legal age. Hopefully, information presented in this appendix will educated on the dangers of
alcohol. In fact, it would be preferred that people use this appendix to allow there fictitious characters to
indulge in the use of alcohol in place of them. A character can be thrown in the trash, a person is a lot harder
to dispose of. In no way will the author of this appendix or the contributors of this appendix be held
responsible for other persons' actions.
BUCK DICE
CREATORS: Elves
OPERATOR: Nil
DICE TYPE: 3d6
Any number can play. Each player throws the dice to determine the order of play; the player making the
highest score goes first, next highest second, and so on. The low man then throws one die and the number
thrown becomes the point number. The high man begins throwing all three dice, and scores one point for each
point number thrown. He continues to throw as long as he throws point numbers, which are added as he goes
along. When he fails to throw a point number on any throw, the dice pass to the next player.
The object is to score exactly 15 points, called buck; each player as he reaches this score, drops out of the
game until only one player remains who becomes the loser and foots the bill. If a player reaches a total above
15, the throw does not count and he must throw again. Any three numbers (not point numbers) thrown is a
little buck and counts 5 points. When the point numbers appear on all three dice, it's a big buck, which counts
15 points and eliminates the player no matter what score he has previously made.
DICE
CREATORS: Humans
OPERATOR: Nil
DICE TYPE: 2d6
Quite similar to but not as involved as Three Man or Still, Dice is a drinking game with a high buzz factor.
All that is need is beer, liquor, dice, and people.
A player rolls two dice. Any result that adds up to six (i.e. 2-4, 5-1) or has a six in it (i.e. 6-1, 6-2, 6-2, 6-3,
6-4, 6-5) requires the player to take a "good" gulp of beer. Any result of double 2s, 4s, or 5s requires the
player to drink that many (2, 4, or 5) "good" gulps of beer. A player that rolls double 3s is penalized twice, for
getting doubles and adding up to six. Thus, four "good" gulps (or 2 if played with the modified rules). The
killer is double 1s or double 6s. For these results the player does a SHOT of his/her favorite poison (i.e. J.D.,
Southern Comfort, tequila, etc.). A player continues rolling until he/she gets something that he/she doesn't
drink on (i.e. 1-2, 1- 3, 1-4, 1-5, 2-3, 2-5, 3-4, 3-5, 4-5). If the dice leaves the playing surface (i.e. table, bar,
etc.), the player is rewarded with a gulp of beer.
LIAR
CREATORS: Humans
OPERATOR: Nil
DICE TYPE: 5d6
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Any number can play. Five dice are used with a dice cup. Each player throws five dice and the player
throwing the highest poker hand (ace is high, and 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 represent king, queen, jack, ten, nine,
respectively) takes any seat and is the first shooter; the player throwing the second highest hand sits at his left
and shoots second; and so on.
At the beginning of play, each player places before himself three betting units. The first shooter shakes the
dice, turns the cup upside down, and lifts it, shielding the dice from view with his hand. He then announces
the value of his hand but need not state the truth. The player on his left must either accept the statement or
call him a liar.
If the first shooter's statement is doubted and if he has at least as good a hand as he called, the doubter puts
one betting unit into the pot. If the shooter has lied about his hand, he must pay one unit to the doubter and put
one unit into the pot. It then becomes the doubter's turn to throw, and he plays against the player on his left;
and so on, around the table.
If the shooter's statement is accepted as true by the player at his left, it becomes the latter's turn to throw.
He may use all the dice originally thrown or leave as many of them as he cares to and throw the others. As the
first shooter did, he covers the dice he throws and must then announce that the five dice have a value that
beats the hand which the first shooter announced and which was accepted. The first shooter then either accepts
or doubts this statement, and this process continues until one of the two players has doubted a hand which the
other player has actually thrown or bettered. The doubter then puts one of his units into the pot.
When a player has placed all three of his betting units into the pot, he drops out of the game and the other
players continue until only one player is left who still retains one or more of his original three units. This
player is declared the winner and takes the pot.
The player on the left of the first shooter begins the next game.
MAGIC SEVEN
CREATORS: Orcs
OPERATOR: Nil
DICE TYPE: 2d6
First the players agree on the bet. Then all of them places their bet (same amounts) into the bank. Everyone
rolls 2d6. The person that rolled seven gets the bank. If two or more players rolled seven, the others are out.
The ones that are in put the bet into the bank again, and roll, until there is only one left, who becomes the
winner. If no one rolls a seven, everyone stays in, puts the bet in the bank again, and reroll. Very primitive but
that is what orcs are.
MARINER
CREATORS: Sailors
OPERATORS: Nil
DICE TYPE: 5d6
There are times when there is nothing to do on a ship, so a nice dice game helps make the waves go by. Any
number can play and five dice are thrown from a cup are used. Each player throws a single die to determine
the order of play, highest man going first, second highest second, and so on. Tying players throw again. The
deal rotates to the left.
Each player in turn is allowed three throws and first tries to get a 6, 5, and 4 in that order; the 6 represents
the ship, the 5 is the captain, and the 4 is the mate. If a 6 and 5 appear on the first throw the player puts those
dice aside and rolls the remaining three dice trying to get a 4. If a 6 and 4 appear on the first roll, the 4 cannot
be used until a 5 has been made and the player sets aside the 6 only and throws four dice on his next throw.
When the player has succeeded in getting a 6, 5, and 4 in that order, the points on the remaining two dice
constitute his score, called the crew. If he has not used all of his three throws he may, if he likes, use any
remaining throws of the two dice in an attempt to make them show a higher total. The player who has made
ship, captain, and mate and whose two remaining dice show the highest score is the winner and takes the pot
into which each player has contributed equal stakes, /if the two high players tie, it is considered a tie for
everyone and another round is thrown. The player to the left of the first shooter in the first round becomes the
first shooter in the second round.
ONE-HUNDRED
CREATORS: Dwarves
OPERATOR: Nil
DICE TYPE: 1d10
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The dwarves created this game after creating the ten sided die. Once upon a time, a dwarf made a die by
carefully carving numbers into a gem he had. The idea caught on by dwarves everywhere. Unfortunately, no
dice games existed for a ten-sided die, so they made one. In the original game, ten dwarfs played for the 1000
gold pieces (100 gold pieces per player). Of course times change.
Any number can play now and the players can be of any race. Each player puts a stake (the amount
decided unanimously among the players) in the center forming a pool and each player throws the die to
determine order of play, low man going first, next highest next, and so on. The players throw the die in turn
and continue to throw, adding each number thrown to the previous one and calling out the totals. The object
is to reach 100 or approach it as closely as possible without passing it. Players passing 100 are busted.
The player who comes closest to 100 wins. Ties divide the pool. Most players throw again at 94 or less,
stop at 95 or more.
ROTATION
CREATORS: Humans
OPERATOR: NIL
DICE TYPE: 2d8
This dice game originated from the humans who like a simple drinking game. After all, once a player puts
down a couple of drinks, the rules tend to get complicated.
Any number can play, two dice are used, and any player may go first. On the first round each player
throws once and tries to make 2. If successful, he scores 2 points, if not he scores nothing. On the second
round each player shoots for a 3 which, if made, scores 3 points. All of the fifteen number combinations
possible with the two dice (2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, 11,12,13,14,15,16) are played for in this manner, beginning
with the lowest. The player having the highest total score after all numbers have been shot for is declared.
Usually the loser must by the other competitors a drink.
SIXES
CREATORS: Dwarves
OPERATOR: Nil
DICE TYPE: 1d10
Another simple game of the dwarves where the participants can get quite intoxicated quite nicely.
To start, somebody must line up ten tankards, size unimportant but typically very big. A nice supply of
beer or other boisterous alcohol beverage must be available usually in a big pitcher or barrel.
Everyone sits around and someone starts by rolling the die and play continues in any order.
The number rolled corresponds to the number of the tankard in the line. If it's empty, the roller fills it as
much as he wants and play continues with another roller. If it contains beer, the roller must drink it all up and
roll again.
THIEF
CREATORS: Humans
OPERATOR: Nil
DICE TYPE: 2d6
This confusing game was created by some nobles so they would have a drinking game that few low-lifes could
learn. Unfortunately, they have trouble with the game.
Thief takes a bit to catch onto, but once understood, it is quite competitive game. The game requires
people, beer, and dice. A player arbitrarily goes first by rolling the dice. The score for the dice is as follows:
2 & 1 - Thief, the highest possible roll. The eventual loser has to drink
double the standard drinking quantity being used for the game. Each
subsequent thief in that round will double the required drink for
loser. This will be easily understood later.
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3 & 1 - Scumbag. The thrower immediately has to consume one drink. This throw
does not count as one of the thrower's goes.
Double - Any doubles rolled scores 100 times the double (i.e., double 1 scores
100, double 2 scores 200 etc.).
Other - Any other roll scores the highest number multiplied by 10 + the
smallest number (i.e., 5 & 4 scores 54, 6 & 1 scores 61 etc.).
The starter has the choice of one, two of three rolls to obtain the best score he can. The starter's score is the
score of his last throw i.e., if he throws a 61 then 63 with his first two throws and elects to take a third throw,
he must count the third throw even if it's lower. Every other player in the game has the choice of throwing up
to as many times as the starter i.e., if the starter takes one throw, all other players have only one throw.
If a player has more than one throw available, he may hold a 1 or a 2 (if thrown) for subsequent throws i.e.,
if he has 2 or 3 throws and he throws a 4:1 on his first go, he may, if he wishes, only pick up the 4 and throw
it as his next go. This tactic will increase his chance of a thief, while also increasing his chance of a low score
or scumbag. If he throws a scumbag he may not hold the 1.
The loser is the person who throws the lowest score. In the event of a tie, all players with the lowest score
must roll one dice and the lowest number loses.
Play as many rounds as desired.
THREE MAN
CREATORS: Humans
OPERATOR: Nil
DICE TYPE: 2d6
A very fun beer-dice game. Supplies needed are beer and dice.
All participants sit in a circle. The first order of business is to determine the Three Man. This is done by
each player rolling a die in turn. The first to roll a three becomes the Three Man (see below for variation with
the Beer Helmut.)
The player to the left of the Three Man goes first, and play continues in a clockwise direction. The player
then rolls both dice and acts according to the following combinations:
1:1 Doubles - see below

1:2 Three man drinks (sum to 3)
1:3 Three man drinks (three on die)
1:4 Thumb to table or floor (playing surface)
1:5 Index finger to side of nose.
1:6 Player to left of roller drinks (7 left/11 right)
2:3 Three man drinks (three on die)
2:4 Pass turn
2:5 Player to left of roller drinks (7 left/11 right)
2:6 Pass turn
3:3 Doubles - see below; three drinks twice
3:4 Three man drinks; player to left of roller drinks
3:5 Three man drinks
3:6 Three man drinks; Social
4:5 Social
4:6 Pass turn
5:6 Player to right of roller drinks (7 left/11 right)
If on the Three Man's turn, he/she rolls a three or combination thereof, he/she is no longer the Three Man and
then can designate any other player as the new Three Man. (This also includes if the Three Man rolls during a
doubles give; see below.)
Social: Everybody drinks.
Doubles: The roller has the option of giving both dice to one player or one dice to two players. Whatever the
case, the dice are rolled and the number on the dice is what that person(s) have to drink. (i.e. roller gives the
dice to Y and Z. Y rolls a 3 and Z rolls a five, Y drinks 3, Z drinks 5. Or Y gets both dice and rolls a 3:5, Y
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then drinks 8). However, if the given dice roll to doubles, the original roller has to drink that amount. But the
original roller also keeps the turn.
To condense everything:
Total of 7 - player to right of roller drinks

Total of 11- player to left of roller drinks
Total of 9 - Social
Any 3 or sum to 3 - Three man drinks
1 and 4 - thumb on floor
1 and 5 - finger on nose
Doubles - give 'em away
Variation with the Beer Helmut:
To make the visual effect of the game more interesting, the Three Man should have to were some of strange
hat, the Beer Helmut. The Helmut could be almost anything that can be worn on the head, orange hunters' hat,
goblin helmet, undergarments, etc.. But tradition holds that the Helmut be made from a discarded casket of
beer. Other ornamentation may be freely added, such as a plume from feathers. It should look like something
worn into battle. Thus the name, Beer Helmut.
When the Three Man no longer is the Three Man due to skillful rolling, part of the ceremony is the passing
of the Helmut onto the new Three Man.
THRESHOLD
CREATORS: Dwarfs
OPERATOR: Nil
DICE TYPE: 1d6
This is a dwarven "lets get blasted" game invented after tireless rounds of other typically human games. The
very high buzz factor makes it the perfect game for dwarves. The supplies are simply beer, a gold piece, a
breakable tankard, and a die.
The tankard containing a quarter and a die is passed to a participant. The shaker shakes the tankard at the
person next to him/her, the shakee. The shakee then calls heads or tails. If the shakee is correct, the shaker
drinks once for each spot showing on the die (ex. six drinks if for a roll of 6). If the shakee is wrong, he/she
drinks that many times. The tankard is passed to the next participant and play continues. Pretty simple game.
A simple variation for the most hardy of dwarves is to use two or more dies.
TWENTY-ONE ACES
CREATORS: Humans
OPERATOR: Nil
DICE TYPE: 5d6
This is a good game to start in a bar because it is simple, straight-forward, with no gray areas and a mid-high
buzz factor. Supplies needed are people in a bar (preferably friends), and five dice.
The game is played by counting the "ones" that are rolled. The person who rolls the seventh "one" gets to
pick the shot that will be consumed at the end of the game. The person who rolls the fourteenth "ace" gets the
honor of paying for the shot. The person who rolls the twenty-first ace has to drink the shot. Play the game by
taking die out of the roll so that you only have one dice left when the twenty-first ace is rolled. For example:
Count # dice rolled

1-16 5
17 4
18 3
19 2
20 1
21 Drink
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UNDER AND OVER SEVEN
CREATORS: Unknown
OPERATOR: Thieves
DICE TYPE: 2d6
This is an old-time game that is still going strong. It gets a steady play because it is simple and easy to learn.
Also, it is so deceptive in appearance that the average player can't understand why the operator of the game
doesn't go broke. The game is popular with the operators because they know that their chance of losing is nil,
that it is one of the biggest sucker games ever, and that the percentage for the house, although the player can't
see it, is as strong as they come.
The game is usually operated by hustlers, that is thieves that prefer to take peoples money in a more moral
fashion. After all, the playe\s of the game are willing to gamble their money.
The only items needed for play are two die, a dice cup, and a small layout. The layout is simply three
squares in a row with the following written in them respectively: UNDER 7, SEVEN, OVER 7. The design
sometimes simply being drawn on a rock with chalk or scratched in the ground. The player puts his money on
any one of the three spaces and throws the dice. If he bets on UNDER 7 and throws any of the numbers under
seven, the bank pays him off at even money. The same is true of the OVER 7 space. If he puts his money on
the SEVEN space, he is paid off at 5 for 1. No matter where they place they're money, the bank's advantage is
16 2/3 percent.
APPENDIX C: THE BLUE BALL BOWLING SYSTEM

COPYRIGHT (C) 1996
*** DISCLAIMER ***
All contents of this guide are presented for game purposes only. Advice oriented information is not to be
taken as legal consultation or legal service, but as suggestions and examples of real-world or hypothetical
183
models. Always consult a lawyer for legal and lawful guidance. The opinions and views contained in this
guide reflect those of the individual authors. The opinions, content, and organization of this document are in
no way connected with the faculty and staff of any educational institute where this guide was found.
HISTORY
Bowling (BOHL ing) is one of the oldest underground sports. It is played by rolling a ball down a highly
polished wooden runway toward ten wooden pins set up in the form of a triangle.
The sport was invented by dwarves. They lived deep underground and needed a good sport that didn't
require a large playing field. Eventually they came up with bowling where they used a rock and wooden
bottles.
Various forms of bowling have been developed by different races including Head-Bowl by the hill giants, a
smaller version of bowling called Nuts by the gnomes, Bowling-For-Blood by the goblins, and MagiBowl by
some upper-class humans with magical abilities and/or lots of money.
ALLEYS AND EQUIPMENT
The long wooden runway down which the ball is rolled is called the alley. Its surface is smooth and polished.
The foul line is at the near end. The bowler must not step beyond this line as he throws the ball. The approach
to the foul line is no less then 10 feet. The distance from the foul line to the no. 1, or head, pin is 50 feet. In
the back of the pit there is usually a swinging padded cushion to stop the force of the ball. There is a shallow
hollowed groove, or gutter, on each side of the alley. This gutter runs from the foul line to the pit. The ball
drops into it if they are not correctly rolled down the alley.
THE PINS AND BALLS
Each of the ten pins weighs at least 3 lbs, and generally made of clear, hard, solid maple; but this isn't always
the case. Each pin is 15 inches in height, and 2 1/4 diameter at the bottom. The pins are arranged in triangle
form behind the head pin. The pins are placed 12 inches apart from center to center.
The balls are made of many substances like wood, metal, rubbery tree sap, and rock. They must not have a
circumference of more than 27 inches, and they must not weigh more than 16 lbs. There are two or three holes
in each ball so ball can be gripped.
HOW THE GAME IS PLAYED
The object of the game is to knock down the ten pins with the ball. A game consists of ten frames, or squares
into which the score is written. A bowler rolls twice in each frame unless he scores a strike (knocks down all
pins) on his first throw. If this happens, he rolls only once.
SCORING
Every bowler hopes for a strike with the first delivery on each frame. The score increases quickly if this
happens. If the bowler does not get a strike the next best is a spare, which is knocking down all the pins on
two deliveries.
A strike on the first delivery gives the bowler ten points, plus all the pins dropped on the next two throws.
A spare in the second delivery gives the bowler ten points plus all the pins he gets on the first delivery of the
next frame.
Failure to strike or spare in a frame means that the bowler counts only the number of pins dropped.
BOWLING WITH THE DICE
To bowl the player must role a 1d12. For the first delivery in the bowling frame the following equation must
be used:
Dice Roll = 1d12 + Bowling Skill Adj.
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After computing the dice roll, the player must consult TABLE A for the bowling results. If a strike is not
attained in the first delivery then a second delivery is required. The following formula must be used:
Dice Roll = 1d12 + Bowling Skill Adj. -

# of pins knocked down in 1st delivery
After frame is over, score results on sheet.
BOWLING SKILL ADJUSTMENT
BOWLING SKILL ADJ. = (2 * Missile Att. Adj.) + Hit Prob. +

Bowling Proficiency
BOWLING SKILL ADJ. = Dexterity Adj. + Strength Adj. +

(USING TABLE 1) Bowling Proficiency
TABLE 1: ADJUSTMENTS DUE TO ABILITY SCORES

ABILITY SCORE DEXTERITY ADJ. STRENGTH ADJ. 1
-12 -5
2 -8 -3
3 -6 -3
4 -4 -2
5 -2 -1
6 0 -1
7 0 0
8 0 0
9 0 0
10 0 0
11 0 0
12 0 0
13 0 0
14 0 0
15 0 0
16 +2 0
17 +4 +1
18 +4 +1
18/01-50 n/a +1
ABILITY SCORE DEXTERITY ADJ. STRENGTH ADJ. 1
18/51-75 n/a +2
18/76-90 n/a +2
18/91-99 n/a +2
18/00 n/a +3
19 +6 +3
20 +6 +3
21 +8 +4
22 +8 +4
23 +8 +5
24 +10 +6
25 +10 +7
BOWLING PROFICIENCY
RELEVANT ABILITY: DEXTERITY # OF SLOTS REQ: 1
For every proficiency slot given to this proficiency, the bowler gains a +1 in every bowling attempt. Once in
every game, the bowler may make a proficiency check and if successful gain a +2 on that throw.
BOWLING WITH THE DICE (REVIEW)
To bowl the player must role a 1d12. For the first delivery in the bowling frame the following equation must
be used:
Dice Roll = 1d12 + Bowling Skill Adj.

185
After computing the dice roll, the player must consult TABLE A for the bowling results. If a strike is not
attained in the first delivery then a second delivery is required. The following formula must be used:
Dice Roll = 1d12 + Bowling Skill Adj. -

# of pins knocked down in 1st delivery
In the second delivery, all rolls above 12 are rounded down to 12. After frame is over, score results on sheet.
BOWLING RESULTS
TABLE A
DICE ROLL RESULT
-0 Roll On Table B
1 Gutter Ball Left
2 Gutter Ball Right
3 1 pin knocked down
4 2 pins knocked down
12 STRIKE!
13- STRIKE! ROLL On Table C
TABLE B
DICE ROLL RESULT
01-30 Audience boos and hisses the bowler.
31-40 Somebody takes pity on the bowler and buys him a drink.
41-60 Bowler crosses foul line: No Score.
61-65 Bad delivery causes ball to crack: No Score.
66-70 Bowler throws ball down neighboring lane. DM may improvise the ramifications.
71-74 Ball slips. All people within 10 ft. radius must save vs. rods or take 1d4-1 damage.
75-77 Bowler goes with ball down the lane: No Score.
78-79 A curse from Stickpin for bad bowling. Roll on Table D.
80-80 A reward from Stickpin hopefully to inspire. Roll on Table E.
81-90 OTHER. DM's discretion advised.
91-00 Nothing.
TABLE C
DICE ROLL RESULT
01-30 Audience cheers and applauds the bowler.
31-40 Somebody is impressed with the bowler and buys him a drink.
41-60 Bowler crosses foul line: No Score.
61-65 To much power causes ball to crack.
66-70 To much power causes pins in neighboring lanes to fall as well.
DM may improvise the ramifications.
71-74 A position in a bowling league is offered.
75-77 A member of the opposite sex approaches the bowler. DM may improvise.
78-79 A curse from Stickpin to put things in perspective for the bowler. Roll on Table D.
80-80 A reward from Stickpin. Roll on Table E.
81-90 OTHER. DM's discretion advised.
91-00 Nothing.
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TABLE D: CURSES
DICE ROLL RESULT
01-30 For remainder of game the bowler receives a -1 on his bowling skill adj.
31-60 For remainder of game the bowler receives a -2 on his bowling skill adj.
61-70 For remainder of the night the bowler receives a -1 on his bowling skill adj.
71-76 Ball explodes causing 1d6 to all within 15 ft. All but the bowler get a saving throw.
77-79 Bowler becomes unconscious for 1-7 days.
80-84 Bowler recieves 7-10 split on every first delivery for eternity. Remove curse is the only cure.
85-87 Stickpin sends a servant to punish bowler. DM may decide punishment.
88-89 Stickpin takes bowler to lair for a very gruesome lesson.
90-90 Stickpin appears and fights bowler with intent to kill.
91-00 OTHER. DM may improvise.
TABLE E: REWARDS
DICE ROLL RESULT
01-30 For remainder of game the bowler receives a +1 on his bowling skill adj.
31-60 For remainder of game the bowler receives a +2 on his bowling skill adj.
61-70 For remainder of the night the bowler receives a +1 on his bowling skill adj.
71-76 Ball turns into silver (VALUE: 100-500 GP).
77-79 Bowler becomes unconscious for 1-7 days.
80-84 Bowler gets a +4 when attempting a 7-10 split for 1-4 years unless dispel magic is cast upon
him.
85-87 Stickpin sends a servant to congratulate bowler. DM may decide the congratulations.
88-89 Stickpin takes bowler to lair for a very useful lesson.
90-90 Stickpin appears for personal congratulations.
91-00 OTHER. DM may improvise.
Stickpin: The Guardian Of Bowling
RACE: Xvart
ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Evil
HIT DICE: 3+6

HIT POINTS: 30
STRENGTH: 10
DEXTERITY: 18
CONSTITUTION: 8
INTELLIGENCE: 17
WISDOM: 17
CHARISMA: 13
Stickpin is The Guardian of Bowling. He is the ideal bowler. He can bowl a 300 game, do any trick shot
desirable, judge whether the bowling area is regulation and if not he can adjust to the conditions, even juggle
ten pins, if it involves bowling then Stickpin is the expert.
Stickpin is a typical Xvart. He is 3 feet high with bright blue skin and orange eyes. Unlike his race,
Stickpin has no fear of humans an in fact likes to socialize with them because humans have a uncanny knack
for bowling. Since he is superior at bowling then anybody (except maybe a few gods), he fears very few
races.
Because of his superiority complex, Stickpin is arrogant, cocky, and a practical jokester. Because of his
chaotic nature, he is unpredictable. He could reward an outstanding bowler or punish a bowler for being to
good. In the same way, he could give a poor bowler some pointers or very well punish him for being terrible
at the sport.
One must also remember his evil nature. He has no problem with enslaving a person, stealing from a
person, or killing a person. However, his love of bowling generally keeps him from destroying bowling alleys
or its people (with some exceptions, of course).
Stickpin speaks his racial language, Xvart, and is fluent in The Common Tongue, Koboldian, Goblin,
Dwarven, Hill Giantic, Gnomish, and Elfish. He, also, dabbles in a little Ogre, Orchish, and Gnoll. After all,
he must know the language to wager a little bit o'money.
187
Stickpin has the ability to polymorph himself into the following forms: Human, Dwarf, Hill Giant, Kobold.
Stickpin maintains the same abilities in all forms; his size is about all that changes. There is nothing more
exciting for Stickpin then polymorphing into one of the forms, entering into a bowling alley, placing a few
bets, and destroying his opponent at bowling.
SOME OF STICKPIN'S BOWLING ITEMS
Stickpin Bowling Bag
A sleek black leather bowling bag with a purple SP inscribed on the side. This bag is an extra-dimensional
hole 3' wide 6' deep. The bag does not accumulate weight no matter how heavy the contents are. When open
Stickpin can call forth the object he desires and it will appear at the top of the bag.
Mood Ball
This bowling ball is regulation size and one of Stickpin favorites. When touched the ball turns a color
representing the mood of the bowler. For example, a blue ball represents sadness, a red ball represents
madness, a green ball represents an uneasiness.
The Lucky Blue Ball
When challenged by somebody important, Stickpin always uses this ball. The ball has no magical qualities,
but Stickpin feels that this ball is lucky.
Bowling Glove Of Defense
This bowling glove does not add to bowling skill (Stickpin needs no help). Except for its cool silky black look
it has only one purpose: when worn it gives the wearer an armor class of 2. The glove will also adjust to the
form Stickpin is in.
Bag O'Chalk
What better way to dry up those wet sweaty hands. The best part is that this bag never runs out and the chalk
doesn't leave an odor.
"One Size Fits All" Bowling Shoes
Bright Red shoes specially made for the surface of a bowling alley so as not to scuff it. As in the name, this
shoe will conform to fit any size shoe (max. 2 ft.). On the back of one shoe there is a "R" and on the other is a
"L".
Ring Of Invisibility
The wearer is able to become invisible at will, instantly. This non-visible state is exactly the same as the
magic-user spell invisibility, except it is inaudible as well, making the wearer absolutely silent. If the wear
wishes to speak, he breaks all silence features to do so.
This particular ring is silver and has a bowling pin engraved on it.
Personalized T-Shirt
This orange T-shirt has written on it in blue letters "Stickpin does it with balls". The shirt can not be destroyed
by any forms of fire, electricity, cold, and water.
The Crystal Bowling Ball
188
This scrying device is about 1/2' in diameter. Stickpin can use this device to see over virtually any place
containing a bowling game. This crystal bowl will not cause ill affects to Stickpin and is merely a device to
keep taps on the bowling scene.
APPENDIX D: COMEDY
If all be true that I do think, There are five
reasons we should drink; Good wine - a friend -
or being dry - Or lest we should be by and by -
Or any other reason why.
-- Henry Aldrich
COPYRIGHT (C) 1996
*** DISCLAIMER ***
189
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Comedy Non-Weapon Skill

Standard Jokes
One-Liners
101 Spells Not Worth Memorizing
Funny Stories
Skits
Special Thanks
COMEDY NON-WEAPON SKILL
# of Slots Required: 1
Relevant Ability: Charisma
Check Modifier: Special
A character with this skill is an entertainer who tells jokes, riddles and funny stories and/or performs various
other comic acts. The character can make anything funny, but DMs may require a skill check to see if the
audience responds well to the comedy or not.
When performing, the comedian can raise morale by 2 on a successful skill check. A failed check lowers
morale by 2. For each failed check, a cumulative -1 modifier is assigned for this comedy set. For each success
check, a cumulative +1 modifier is assigned for this comedy set.
DMs may allow modifiers to the comedian's skill check. For comedians who prepare well for a comedy
routine (i.e. the player prepares for a good role-playing session), the skill check is modified by +1. Failure to
prepare gives a modifier of -1. Intelligence plays an important part in comedy. Knowing what the audience
wants and how to deliver it is important. On a successful Intelligence check, a +1 modifier is applicable.
On a roll of 20 the crowd tries to kill the comedian, or at least throws him/her out. The comedy was that
bad! On a roll of 1 the comedy was so good that people are falling out of their chairs and rolling on the floor.
The comedian might have to stop until people regain the composure. The comedian will also gain a bonus
modifier of +1d4 when performing for this audience again.
The audience must make a morale check after each joke or after the entire performance (DM's decision).
Usually, a tougher crowd requires more morale checks. If the audience succeeds in a morale check, then the
audience will tolerate the comedian, for now. If the audience fails a morale check, then the audience acts
unfavorably, if not hostile, towards the comedian. Note that alcohol effects the morale of the audience. If the
audience, in general, is slightly intoxicated the morale is modified by +1. If the audience is moderately
intoxicated the morale is modified by +2. If the audience is greatly intoxicated the morale is modified by +3.
STANDARD JOKES
Q: What is 2 inches long, has 4 arms, 3 eyes and a really long toungue?
A: I dunno either, but it is on your shoulder !!!!
Q: What's the difference between a female half-orc and a party's healer?

A: You don't appreciate either until they go down
Q: What did the Red Dragon say to the Knight?

A: "Care to join me for lunch?"
Q: What did the Red Dragon think about the knight?

A: It was delicious!
Q: What do you get when you cut a Half-ling in half?

A: That easy a Quarterling.
190
Q: What do you throw a drowning dwarf?

A: His wife and kids.
Q: Why should you bind pixies with leather strips?

A: So they don't explode when you have sex with them!
Q: Why do gnomes have such big noses?

A: So they have somplace to keep their fingers.
Q. How do you get an Orc out of a tree?

A. Cut the rope.
Q. How do you keep a dwarf from drowning?

A: Take your foot of his head.
Q: What do a Nymph and a Turtle have in common?

A: If you get 'em on their backs, they're F***ed.
ONE-LINERS
Take our cleric - please.
Cap'n Tim, I gotta go to the bathroom-where is the poop deck?
Is that a gold piece in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Is that a halbard in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Druids do it in the woods.
Rangers do it in the bushes.
Thieves do it in leather.
Assassins do it from behind.
Mages do it with their hands and mouth.
Clerics do it on the altar.
Ogres do it with stone clubs.
Paladins do it in their dreams.
Hobbits do it in a hole.
Basilisks do it with their eyes closed.
Vampires do it in the dark.
101 SPELLS NOT WORTH MEMORIZING

The "Official" List, V0.9b compiled by Bill Garrett
191
This list has been edited for spelling and content. Thanks to all who contributed: Nathan Amed, Paul
Brinkley, Jay Cherry, Jonathan Coolidge, Joe Delisle, Nushae Siobhan Fahey, Curtis Frye, Bill Garrett, Larry
Keber, John Kochmar, Tim Larson, Jonathan Sivier, Brian Snoddy, Stefan Thieme, and many others.
1 Auditable Glamour
2 Bigby's Groping Hand
3 Bigby's Insulting Hand (the second finger is rather prominent)
4 Blind Self
5 Break-Wind Wall
6 Burning Hands (Yours, ouch)
7 Charm Self
8 Charm Undead (X rated version)
9 Cone of bubbles
10 Cure Light Winds
11 Dalamar's Whoopee Cushion (things that make you go hmmmm)
12 Darkness, 15 micron radius
13 Deathwish
14 Deeppocket Lint
15 Delayed Blast Flatulence
16 Deny Reality
17 Detect Crying
18 Detect Self (allows you to see if you are yourself)
19 Detect Stikes and Spares
20 Detect Wind
21 Differentiate Without Error (Hey, you never know...)
22 Dimension Doorknob
23 Dispurse Self
24 Evard's Black Growth (range: 0)
25 Explosive Familiar (it's *your* familiar)
26 Extension Cord I, II, and III
27 Extinguish Match (casting time: 5 rounds)
28 Find Acquaintance
29 Find Floor (somantic component: falling on face)
30 Find Hand (especially useful after casting Remove Hand)
31 Fiscal Projection
32 Heel
33 Hold Self
34 Hug Self
35 Indirection (address register postincrement)
36 Insect Plague, 5' Radius
37 Invisibility to Inanimate Objects.
38 Irritate Self
39 Kooshball
40 Legend Lore, Extended Dance Mix
41 Leomund's Mortgaged Shelter
42 Leomund's Sturdy Music Box
43 Level Water
44 Lightning Blot
45 Locate Self (tells you where you are, relative to your location)
46 Magic Boomeranging Missile (hit that 1st level mage for 1d4+1)
47 Magic Missal
48 Magic Shotglass (as opposed to Magic Jar)
49 Melf's Acid Bow
50 Memorize Spell
51 Micrometeorite Storm
52 Mordenkainen's Agnostic Hound
53 Mordenkainen's Faithful Mosquito
54 Muenster Summoning I-VII
55 Nystul's Undetectible Aura
56 Otto's Irresistible Disco-Duck
57 Pastel Blade of Warm Fuzzies (9th level drow spell)
58 Plane XOR
59 Power Word, Smirk
60 Protection from Catnips
61 Protection from Elvis, 10' Radius
62 Protection from Halitosis
192
63 Protection from Normal Air
64 Protection from Normal Missals
65 Protection from Normal Pillows
66 Protection from Self
67 Protection from Weevil
68 Putrefy Offal
69 Rary's Mnemonic Device--makes silly acronyms out of things
70 Remove Hand (yours)
71 Remove Self
72 Reservation
73 Sheepskin
74 Shocking Gasp (usually follows Tenser's Shocking Suggestion)
75 Summon Self
76 Tasha's Controllable Mildly Unpleasant Laughter
77 Tasha's Uncontrollable Bladder
78 Tasha's Uncontrollable Flatulence
79 Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Hand
80 Teleport Without Destination
81 Tenser's Formatted Disk
82 Tenser's Shocking Suggestion
83 Tenser's Slipped Disk
84 This Space for Rent (fills up space on in mage's memory)
85 Time Start
86 Tons
87 Transmute RGB to HSV
88 Transmute Rock to Stone (reversible)
89 Transmute ashes to ashes, dust to dust (priest spell)
90 Unscented Cloud
91 Vampiric Breathing (perfect for harassing phone calls)
92 Walk
93 Wall of Paper
94 Wall of Velcro
95 Wizard Lick
FUNNY STORIES
Morals
A Scro, a Dracon and a Hadozee visited the home world of the Giff (well they actually crash landed). On
talking to the local residents (Giff) they found out that a certain Admiral Hogar of the Third Giff Great
Bombard Fleet had a magical horse that could carry all three through wildspace at spelljamming speeds. After
months of waiting they finally got an audience with Admiral Hogar. The Hadozee was typically foul mouthed
about waiting for so long, and the Dracon insulted the Admiral because he thought the Admiral's name stood
for a sandwhich. The Scro, being a short tempered but efficient being killed both of them. He then accepted a
wrestling match with the admiral. After recovering from his injuries the Scro was given the horse as a gift
from the Admiral. He died two days later when he was examing the horse's strange barrel like mouth. The
Moral of the Story. Never look a Giff horse in the mouth.
Red Dragon
A weak voiced barbarian just got fried by a old, red dragon. He says to the dragon, "No...... I meant a Bud
Light".
Norse Gods
The mighty god Thor sat in his hall in Asgard, bored by his godly duties, and decided it was time for a
vacation. He grabbed Mjolnir, snuck out the back, crossed the Rainbow bridge, and wound up in Midgard. He
did his best to look and act like a mortal. He did some drinking and carousing, he won a few wrestling
matches, and finally he found the most beautiful virgin peasant girl to bed. Well, needless to say, she was in
for a real treat. They went at it most of the night until she finally passed out from exhaustion, but, as Thor was
pleased to see, with a smile on her face. When she finally woke up, the god of thunder was feeling pretty
193
guilty. He realized that he used his godly charms to woo this innocent young woman, and now she had to go
through life frustrated because no mere mortal would be able to satisfy her. He decide to confess.
"Milady," he bagan, "I fear that I have done you an injustice. You see, I am Thor."
She looked up at him with her big brown eyes and said matter of factly, "You think you're Thor, I can
hardly pith."
Clerics and their Weapons
Brother Drewfius and Brother Tyronius got into an argument over a difference in theological interpretation.
They had never gotten along, and within a few minutes the argument had turned into a fight. They started out
exchanging punches but soon they each had a weapon in hand. Just then, Brother Francis comes into the room
and says "Brothers, stop this at once; this fight is pointless."
"It better be," said Tyronius, "We're both Clerics."
A Monk and a Leap of Faith
The Grandmaster of Flowers, Grandfather of Assassins, His Holy General Priest of Tyr (or some other lawful
good god), and the King of Corymr were talking. They ended up in an argument about whose followers were
the toughest and most obedient. They all decided to find the best of their best and hold a tournament to see
whos was most loyal. Each of the four tried and tested their followers to see who was the most powerful and
most loyal.
At last they were all ready to compete. They met at the edge of a cliff. At the bottom of the 50' drop was a
lake and in the lake were poisonous snakes, piranhas, and a dragon turtle. The only way out was to swim 200
yards across the lake, onto an island. The island was covered with lizard men and trolls. After passing through
them, the followers would then have to enter a cave that led through a red dragons lair and would finally
allow them to exit back near where they started.
Looking at his Royal Knight, the King of Cormyr said "Sir Knight, for the honor and glory of the kingdom
I want you to cross that lake, and return here through the cave." Looking over the scene, the knight replied "I
am sorry my lord, but that is sure death. I cannot do it."
Smiling, the Priest of Tyr turned to his paladin and said "You are the might of Tyr, most loyal and trust
worthy follower. You know the task, accomplish it and receive the blessing of our Patron." Shaking his head
slowly, the Paladin replied "I cannot do what you ask."
The same thing happened when the Grandfather of assassins tried to send his man over the cliff.
The Grandmaster of Flowers turned to his follower and said simply "Do it." Without so much as batting an
eye, the Monk dove off the cliff and into the water. In a flash he was across the lake and entering the jungles
on the island. As the group waited in anticipation, the heard a distant roar and flames came licking out the end
of the cave. Shortly there after the brave young monk came running out, burned, battered and bleeding, but
alive.
The Grandfather ran over and hugged the young monk. "Son" he said, "Truly you are the pride of all of the
monastery. Ask for anything, anything at all and it is yours."
"All I want" he replied, "is to find out who the son-of-a-bitch was that pushed me...."
Fishin'
A priest, a paladin and a thief are on a boat on a lake fishing. The priest gets up and says, "Excuse me, I have
to go relieve myself" and procedes to walk across the water to the woods, and comes back to the boat. A little
while later the paladin says, "I, too, need to relieve myself" and proceeds to walk across the water to the
woods and back. Still later, the thief says, "Well, I guess it's my turn." He gets out of the boat and sinks to the
bottom of the lake. The priest turns to the Paladin and says, "Do you think we should have shown them where
the ricks are?"
Paladins
Upon discovery of the local assassin's guild our faithful, loyal, rightous, holy, brave and snooty paladin of Tyr
bursts through the door and BrightButt says "I am BrightButt, faithful, loyal, rightous, holy, brave and snooty
paladin of Tyr, and I know what evil this place holds and I know I must destroy it and I
ARRGGHHHHHHHHH..."
"You know what a crossbow bolt feels like in the back of your head." says a guildmember as the paladin
falls to the floor.
194
BrightPeter, loyal, rightous, faithful, brave, (and secretly horny) paladin of Tyr talks to his patron priest about
a problem he's been having. It seems as if BrightPeter has been waking up in his white, clean, pure bed with
soiled underware and remembers a dream about one of the nuns he was... having. He tells his patron priest and
the priest gives him a small task of attonement and some advice. "Tyr wants his warriors not to be wieghted
down by impure thoughts and wayward sperm, so my son to aid yourself, you should.. um.. you could.. I mean
if you would.. well.. relieve yourself."
BrightPeter is obviously puzzled. "Spank your Monkey BrightPeter!!" He replies "I will know when to call
for my warhorse but at what level can one call for his monkey? this is a temperate zone, and monkeys are
non-migratery." The priest leaves disgusted and BrightPeter was never heard from again. It was said he left
BrightTown for the jungles of South America, something about monkeys.
SKITS
The Top Ten Ways to Tell if You are a Lich
10. You get more then dandruff flakes when you scratch your head.
9. The entrance way to your tower has a foot of dust in it, and you didn't
sneeze when you cleaned it up.
8. You don't tan anymore, but your skin still flakes, in large chunks.
7. Your eyeballs fell out, and yet you can still see.
6. You stopped getting junk mail.
5. Young kids keep drawing caskets in the sand outside your tower.
4. The nearby city keeps sending priests to 'talk' with you.
3. The great-grandson of your first elven friend comes to visit asking if you
can help with old age pains.
2. Your familiar starts avoiding you.
...and the number 1 way to tell if you are a lich.....
You realize you haven't eaten, slept or had a drink in the past decade.
Beer Vs. Cucumbers
Reasons Why Beer is Better than Cucumbers:
- You can't get drunk, no matter how many cucumbers you eat.
- Beer bottles don't get sprayed with pesticides.
- Beer bottles don't shrivel up and grow mouldy if you leave them in the fridge
for a month.
- Beer is always in season.
- Beer removes unsightly flab and wrinkles (on the person you're looking at, if you drink enough of it).
- Eating cucumbers to forget doesn't work.
Reasons Why Cucumbers are Better than Beer:
- Cucumbers won't give you a hangover.

- Cucumbers have fewer calories.
- Your wife won't complain about you sitting around all day watching TV and
eating cucumbers.
- You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment.
- Your wife won't complain that your breath stinks of cucumbers.
- You can eat as many cucumbers as you like, and drive home later.
195
- You can open a cucumber using only your teeth.
- Having your face slashed with a cucumber doesn't hurt (much).
- You can eat the whole cucumber, skin 'n' all.
- A cucumber won't shatter if you drop it on the ground.
- You can shake up a cucumber, and it won't explode when you bite it.
- You don't have to worry about getting cucumber stains on your clothes.
SNL Parady
Interviewer: I'm here with Cajun Man, who is going to be fighting a dragon tomorrow. Can you tell me what
you're feeling?
Cajun Man: AnticipaSHUN.
Interviewer: You've earned quite a reputation for yourself, especially after stopping an insane mage. Was it
ever discovered what drove him mad?
Cajun Man: Demonic possesSHUN.
Interviewer: That does it to me every time. Tell me, why are you going after this particular dragon?
Cajun Man: DestrucSHUN.
Interviewer: That's right, this big fella successfully destroyed 5 cities.
Cajun Man: CorrecSHUN.
Interviewer: Sorry, it was 6 cities. Cajun Man, do you have any tricks up your sleeve?
Cajun Man: Eyes of PetrificaSHUN.
Interviewer: Is there anything you'd like to take, if you could buy it?
Cajun Man: Sphere of AnnihilaSHUN.
Interviewer: Any spells your mages will be putting on you?
Cajun Man: Non-DetecSHUN.
Interviewer: Isn't that being a little over cautious? What's the worst that could happen?
Cajun Man: DecapitaSHUN. EvisceraSHUN.
Interviewer: I guees you've got me there. How do you think the battle will be won?
Cajun Man: Divine intervenSHUN.
Interviewer: A little pessimistic, aren't we? Well, do you have any last requests in case the worst does happen?
Cajun Man: ResurrecSHUN.
196
SPECIAL THANKS
The following people made contributions to this document:

Ronald "Greymoon" Jones, Charles Emos, Hellbane, Joe Delisle, Dengin
Vaughn, Auther Maldonado, Robin F. Righettini, SHROUD, Pat, Roderic de
Bruce, Auther Maldonado, Jim Sales, Ryan Biggs.
Bill Garrett who created the "101 Spells Not Worth Memorizing".
APPENDIX E: GRUEL
The sweet taste of gruel.
COPYRIGHT (C) 1996
*** DISCLAIMER ***
Gruel is a thin, watery porridge that is the main food staple of the lower class. Humanoids prefer the name of
grub for their gruel. Usually gruel is made of water, some grain, and some flour to thicken it up. If one is rich,
a little sugar is added for flavor, or maybe a veggie or two and make it a thick soup.
Tomato Gruel
Fry some tomatoes in a butter and sugar sauce until they seem right. About three medium sized tomatoes
sliced into 1/2 inch pieces should do the trick. A tin of canned tomatoes will work but only the rich can
affored canned tomatoes and why would the rich want to make greul.
Put stuff in a pot, and bring to stirring temperature. Add a bit of meat extract, a drop or 3 of Worchester
sauce, a pinch of salt and pepper, some fruit chutney and some ketchup (to taste). Also add something else
laying around the home thats been never tried before, but not too much of it.
Let the stuff "prut" for 10 minutes or so, to let all the flavours mix thoroughly. Mix with some grain, rice,
bread crumbs, and/or meat chunks.
SPECIAL THANKS
Johan Hartzenberg for his Tomato Gruel reciepe.
197
This document has been edited for legibility purposes by
OLIK / Ole A. Ringdal

[email protected] / http://home.sol.no/olear
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THE COMPLETE

GUIDE TO ALCOHOL FOR FANTASY

If all be true that I do think, There are five

My manner of living is plain and I do not mean

--- George Washington

What harm in drinking can there be,

Drunkenness is the vice of a good constitution, or

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou.

--- Omar Khayyam

He who drinks one glass of wine a day

Their wine is the poison of dragons, and the

--- Deuteronomy 32:33

We made neere twentie gallons of wine.

--- Capt. John Smith

Formatted for Word by LOBO ([email protected])

COPYRIGHT (C) 1996

*** DISCLAIMER ***

· Initial Reactions To The Guide 4

INITIAL REACTIONS TO THE GUIDE

--- TSR's DRAGON magazine

--- Mr. Blackheart

"Great stuff. See ya round."

--- Mr. Scott

"...I think it is not big... it's GREAT."

--- Mr. Fernando

--- Mr. Scott

GUIDE GAME MECHANICS

· Physical Strength - physical power.

· Intelligence - knowledge and wit.

· Wisdom - judgement and common sense.

· Constitution - heartiness and "spirit".

· Charisma - allure, charm, and leadership.

· Dexterity - prowess and quickness.

· Luck - fortune and fate.

· Attractiveness - comeliness and physical looks.

· rod, staff, wand, and other powerful magic-items (no artifacts).

· breath weapon and other powerful natural attacks.

· spells, and other common magical effects.

· Specialty - Another name for the class.

· Secondary Skills - Other abilities.

· Weapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for weapons.

· Nonweapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for non-weapon abilities.

· Equipment - Suggested and banned equipment.

· Special Benefits/Special Hindrances - The mechanics that make the sub-class.

· Wealth Options - Monetary information.

· Races - Races allowed.

THE RPG DRINKING GAME

BEGINNING THE GAME

ROLE-PLAYING THE TRIP TO THE TAVERN

Beer after wine is not recommended.

God loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.

--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Process Of Brewing

TABLE 1: Quality Of Brew

Die Roll Quality

Bier is Menschenwerk, Wein is von Gott!

--- Martin Luther

The Process Of Wine-Making

TABLE 1: Quality Of Wine

Die Roll Quality

* DISCLAIMER *

* IMPORTANT NOTE *