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Do It NOW Habit Program Day # 1 - : Illusion - Fear of Failure

The document discusses the illusion of failure and how focusing on not failing can actually lead one to fail. It asserts that there is no such thing as failure, only outcomes, and that both success and failure are subjective constructs. It provides examples of highly successful people who experienced many perceived failures along the way, including Abraham Lincoln. The document encourages the reader to reflect on where they learned the fear of failure and to realize that past experiences of humiliation no longer define them. It provides steps to help let go of feelings of fear and seek approval.

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Ludovic Tsondo Mewoutou
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38 views5 pages

Do It NOW Habit Program Day # 1 - : Illusion - Fear of Failure

The document discusses the illusion of failure and how focusing on not failing can actually lead one to fail. It asserts that there is no such thing as failure, only outcomes, and that both success and failure are subjective constructs. It provides examples of highly successful people who experienced many perceived failures along the way, including Abraham Lincoln. The document encourages the reader to reflect on where they learned the fear of failure and to realize that past experiences of humiliation no longer define them. It provides steps to help let go of feelings of fear and seek approval.

Uploaded by

Ludovic Tsondo Mewoutou
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Do It NOW Habit Program

Day # 1 -
Illusion - Fear of failure
Fear of failure is the biggest obstacle to success. Most people want
‘success,’ yet they first focus on ‘not failing.’ By focusing on ‘not
failing’ one actually focuses on failing.

Illusion Breaker # 1: There is no such thing as failure, only


outcomes. “Failure” is a subjective evaluation and there is no global
standard of success or failure. Both are subjective constructs of the
mind.

EG: A billionaire might say that making $40,000 is failure, yet


someone who makes it from a fourth generation public assistance
family to $40,000 per year in income would probably consider it
success. Point, success is subjective and failure is an illusion. There
are only outcomes.

Donald Trump might consider himself a failure if he had no money.

Mother Theresa lived with no money; do you think she considered


herself a failure?

Illusion Breaker # 2: Failure and humiliation do not have to be


related. People are usually humiliated based upon what they think
others think of them. The most successful people in history/life are
not ones who worry about the opinions of others. (Rowling was told
not to write children’s books; Marilyn Monroe and Clint Eastwood
were told they could not act, etc.) Truth be realized, most people
spend so much time worrying about what others think of them that
they have little time to be concerned with you.
Some of the greatest people in history had massive “failure” in their
lives before they succeeded.

Let’s look at Abraham Lincoln for example:

 1832 Ran for state legislature - lost.

 1834 Ran for state legislature again - won.

 1838 Sought to become speaker of the state legislature -


defeated.

 1840 Sought to become elector - defeated.

 1843 Ran for Congress- lost.

 1846 Ran for Congress again - this time he won - went to


Washington and did a good job.

 1848 Ran for re-election to Congress - lost.

 1849 Sought the job of land officer in his home state -


rejected.

 1854 Ran for Senate of the United States - lost.

 1856 Sought the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party's


national convention - get less than 100 votes.

 1858 Ran for U.S. Senate again - again he lost.

 1860 Elected president of the United States.

Failure is an illusion. You cannot fail in life.

You might not get the outcomes your want right away, but you can
never fail. Ask Thomas Edison (if you apply the illusion of failure to
his work, he “failed” to create the light bulb over 10,000 times) and
Babe Ruth (he was the home run king and he also concurrently held
the record for strike outs.)
Failure is not directly related to self-esteem and confidence. If it
were Edison would have hated himself beyond belief.

To now move forward, Step 1, you MUST realize that there really
is no such thing as failure, only outcomes! If you don’t like your
outcomes, it’s simple, do something different.

Also, if there were no other people in the world to tell you what their
definition of failure was, you never would have learned to think in
terms of ‘failure.’

POINT: To succeed you must “fail” so you can discover what


works and what does not work. Like the yin and yang, they are
inclusive; you cannot have one without the other. So, include
‘failure’ as part of your natural thinking and you’ll succeed much
quicker.

Exercise #1 – Where did you learn the illusion of failure?

Explore three past situations that you perceived to be failure,


mistakes or just stupid behavior. These can come from any area of
life. The only rule is that these three must be your absolute most
humiliating experiences. Pick three. The earliest you can remember,
the last and most recent and one somewhere in between.

Notice every detail of the situation, who was there, how you felt,
what happened, what other people said to you, what you said to
yourself, etc.

Notice from your earliest experience. You might have been 10 years
old or 12 or so on. This is where you “learned” to experience
humiliation…and it was the seeding of the illusionary fear of failure.

Also notice these past experiences are no longer relevant, things


have changed, people and life have moved on, what once was
important is not anymore.
You learned to fear failure and humiliation. Just as you learned it,
you’re now ‘un learning’ it and letting it go. The more you continue
to let it go, the more you’ll be able to remove most of it from your
life. In the past, in your earliest experiences you didn’t know that
you had the ability to think otherwise and make other choices of
thought – now you know. So, you can now realize that the irrational
fear of failure was created by faulty thinking and it no longer serves
you.

SPEND NO MORE THAN 15 MINUTES WRITING THESE THREE


EXPERIENCES DOWN. (You do not need to write War and Peace. Just
clearly identify the experiences and associated feelings.)

Go to your journal/notebook and write these down now.

Write at the top of the Page: Day #1 – Where I learned the illusionary
fear of failure:

Experience 1

Experience 2

Experience 3

Notice how the past fear of failure and humiliation made you “feel”
and where you felt/feel it in your body.

If in the future you find yourself in a fearful situation regarding


failure and and in particular what people think of you, here is how to
eliminate that feeling:

1) FIRST, literally ask yourself, “Am I seeking, approval, security or


control?” (All three of these together or individually create and
feed the fear. All three are the biggest traps that we fall into.
Know your traps, recognize your traps and you’ll free yourself
from the traps!)

2) NEXT, Ask yourself, “Could I let this feeling go?”


3) NEXT, Ask yourself, “Would I let this feeling go?”

3) NEXT, Ask yourself, “When will I let this go?”

4) If NOW, take a deep breath and as you exhale imagine you are
letting the feeling go as you feel it leave your body as you exhale.
Literally imagine you move it out of your body.

5) Imagine some time in the future where you are performing the
activity without fear and with complete confidence.

Day #1 is finished.

WARNING

If you do not write this down NOW, Hyde is tugging at you.

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