What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate
emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and
strengthened, while others claim it's an inborn characteristic.
The ability to express and control emotions is essential, but so is the ability to
understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. Imagine a world in
which you could not understand when a friend was feeling sad or when a co-worker
was angry. Psychologists refer to this ability as emotional intelligence, and some
experts even suggest that it can be more important than IQ in your overall success in
life
Components
Researchers suggest that there are four different levels of emotional intelligence
including emotional perception, the ability to reason using emotions, the ability to
understand emotions, and the ability to manage emotions.
1. Perceiving emotions: The first step in understanding emotions is to perceive
them accurately. In many cases, this might involve understanding nonverbal
signals such as body language and facial expressions.
2. Reasoning with emotions: The next step involves using emotions to
promote thinking and cognitive activity. Emotions help prioritize what we pay
attention and react to; we respond emotionally to things that garner our
attention.
3. Understanding emotions: The emotions that we perceive can carry a wide
variety of meanings. If someone is expressing angry emotions, the observer
must interpret the cause of the person's anger and what it could mean. For
example, if your boss is acting angry, it might mean that they are dissatisfied
with your work, or it could be because they got a speeding ticket on their way
to work that morning or that they've been fighting with their partner.
4. Managing emotions: The ability to manage emotions effectively is a crucial
part of emotional intelligence and the highest level. Regulating emotions and
responding appropriately as well as responding to the emotions of others are
all important aspects of emotional management.
Qualities of a person with good emotional intelligence:
 Thinking Before Reacting
Emotionally intelligent people know that emotions can be powerful, but also
temporary. When a highly charged emotional event happens, such as becoming
angry with a co-worker, the emotionally intelligent response would be to take some
time before responding. This allows everyone to calm their emotions and think more
rationally about all the factors surrounding the argument.
 Greater Self-Awareness
Emotionally intelligent people are not only good at thinking about how other people
might feel but they are also adept at understanding their own feelings. Self-
awareness allows people to consider the many different factors that contribute to
their emotions.
  Empathy for Others
A large part of emotional intelligence is being able to think about and empathize with
how other people are feeling. This often involves considering how you would
respond if you were in the same situation.

 People who have strong emotional intelligence are able to consider the
perspectives, experiences, and emotions of other people and use this
information to explain why people behave the way that they do.

How to Use
Emotional intelligence can be used in many different ways in your daily life. Some
different ways to practice emotional intelligence include:
1. Being able to accept criticism and responsibility
2. Being able to move on after making a mistake
3. Being able to say no when you need to
4. Being able to share your feelings with others
5. Being able to solve problems in ways that work for everyone
6. Having empathy for other people
7. Having great listening skills
8. Knowing why you do the things you do
9. Not being judgemental of others
Emotional intelligence is essential for good interpersonal communication. Some
experts believe that this ability is more important in determining life success than IQ
alone. Fortunately, there are things that you can do to strengthen your own social
and emotional intelligence.
 Understanding emotions can be the key to better relationships, improved well-
being, and stronger communication skills. 

Tips for Improving EI

 Empathize
Picking up on emotions is critical, but you also need to be able to put yourself into
someone else's shoes in order to truly understand their point of view. Practice
empathizing with other people. Imagine how you would feel in their situation. Such
activities can help you build an emotional understanding of a specific situation as
well as develop stronger emotional skills in the long-term.
 Reflect
The ability to reason with emotions is an important part of emotional intelligence.
Consider how your own emotions influence your decisions and behaviors. When you
are thinking about how other people respond, assess the role that their emotions
play.
Why is this person feeling this way? Are there any unseen factors that might be
contributing to these feelings? How to your emotions differ from theirs? As you
explore such questions, you may find that it becomes easier to understand the role
that emotions play in how people think and behave.

Potential Pitfalls
 Having lower emotional intelligence skills can lead to a number of potential
pitfalls that can affect multiple areas of life including work and relationships.
 People who have fewer emotional skills tend to get in more arguments, have
lower quality relationships, and have poor emotional coping skills.
 Being low on emotional intelligence can have a number of drawbacks, but
having a very high level of emotional skills can also come with challenges. For
example:
 Research suggests that people with high emotional intelligence may actually
be less creative and innovative.
 Highly emotionally intelligent people may have a hard time delivering negative
feedback for fear of hurting other people's feelings.
 Research has found that high EQ can sometimes be used for manipulative
and deceptive purposes.