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Chapter II

REVIEW OF THE RELATED STUDIES

Siblings Rivalry: Exploring the Effects to Family’s Relationship

Siblings rivalry is a jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and

sisters a concern for all parents. It starts right after birth. According to Laude (2017)

there are many factors that contribute siblings rivalry. As they discover who they are,

they find their talents, activities and also their interest. They want to show they are

different form their siblings. They might feel they are getting unequal amount of

attention and discipline. Children who are hungry, bored or tired are likely to start fight.

Parents must pay attention for patterns when conflicts usually occur. Teach your kids

positive ways to get attention from each other. Being fair is very important. If you did

try to treat your children equally , it’s not enough by doing so, you need to be persistent.

According to Pedley, (2016) often siblings rivalry starts when the second

child is born. Basically because of Evolving needs or changing needs, anxieties and

identities to affect how they relate to one another. Individual temperaments and their

unique personalities play a large role in how well they get along. Special needs, child

needs due to learning or emotional issues. Role models, the way parents resolve

problems and disagreements. Positive Parenting Solution (2016) page shows on how to
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stop rivalry from happening, first is Lose the labels, don’t categorize your children or

other wise competition between siblings will increase. Second Arrange for Attention, its

one of the causes of rivalry because each of the children wants to gain attention , you

need to give equal attention everyday. Third , Prepare for peace , if fights happens

between them , find opportunity to calm them down, and teach them conflicts resolution

skills. Alfred Adler saw siblings as “ striving for significance” within the family and felt

that the birth order was a important aspect of personality development. Psychologists

and researchers today endorse the influence of birth order.

However , parents are seen as capable of having an important influence on

whether they are competitive or not. But in other thoughts, rivalry between siblings is

natural. Shiela (2017) said that siblings fight is completely natural for kids to compete

for everything like clothing, food, time for parents and also their attention. Its actually

healthy realization for kids about other around them. According to her , it is impossible

to divide attention equally among kids. Parents who are able to give children the

attention and love they need ,often than not, it will destructive or negative attention. And

these are constantly evolving. Above all , spend a lot of time letting your kids know that

they are safe , important and loved.

Ways on How Children Seek Attention from their parents

doing things that are likely to get others to notice you. Some parents don’t spend much

time for their children. Their child needs attention, and sometimes they do everything to

get it. When a child is causing a scene or stealing ice cream or worse bullying other

kids, this might be a sign of attention seeking behavior. According to Mrunal (2018),

attention seeking behavior are often like Faking illness, causing harm to others, creating

problems, playing the victim.

Unaikie (2019) said that pretending like unable to do something, fishing

or compliment, constantly Exaggeration, causing arguments was also an attention

seeking behavior. And Fuentes (2017) added insecurity, too attached to being praised

and feeling lonely. Psychology Today (2019) page said that constantly attention seeking

is one of the Historic Personality Disorder.

Mrunal (2018) recommended tips on how to deal with attention

seeking in kids. First, Give more Positive Attention, if they have talents, ask them to

practice and praise them . Second, Ignore Bad Behavior, in time he will realize and

change his attitude. Third , Alone Time, set aside 5 to 15 minutes of uninterrupted time

with him.

In time, Attention Seeking is part of the kid’s childhood, parents just

need to pay attention and let them enjoy his time with you .
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Differences of Attention Given by Parents to their Children.

According to Williams (2019), LCSW, are there serious long-term effects to

growing up in a household of parental favoritism. She also discusses self-esteem issues

and feelings of rejection following the child into adulthood. The non-favored child will

experience low. First, we found that individuals who have maternal and/or paternal

siblings are more likely to have encountered unequal maternal treatment than

individuals who have full siblings only. Second, we found that unequal parental

treatment impairs full as well as maternal and paternal sibling relations in adulthood.

Third, unequal parental treatment mediates the effect of genetic relatedness on sibling

relations in the case of maternal siblings, but not in the case of paternal siblings. Kate

(2016) said that self-worth and value, feelings of rejection and inadequacy, and a sort of

“giving up” due to feeling like they can never be worthy of the same attention, love, and

affection that the favored child receives. This often has long-term implications on their

performance on jobs, in school, and in interpersonal relationships, as the parenting

relationship sets the foundation and expectations of future relationships. While being the

favored child may sound like a walk in the park, it’s far from it. Being favored means
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almost always being resented by the other children. The parents unequal attention

poisons sibling relationships without even trying. According to Haig, (2011); Jankowiak

and Diderich.2000. Maternal and paternal siblings likely differ in terms of their

exposure to various kinship cues which in turn could cause differences in the quality of

relationships in adulthood. Cues such as childhood co-residence and maternal perinatal

association may be available for maternal siblings, but neither is usually available for

paternal siblings. In addition, maternal and paternal siblings differ from each other

because of asymmetries of patrilineal and matrilineal relatedness, and this may affect the

perceived difference in attachment among maternal and paternal siblings. For the most

part, humans have to rely on indirect environmental cues. Lieberman, Tooby, and

Cosmides (2007) have tracked two such kin detection mechanisms in the case of human

siblings: maternal perinatal association (e.g., seeing one's own mother nurse another

child), a cue which can be used only by older siblings, and childhood co-residence

duration. Laule (2017) said that naturally, maternal perinatal association requires mother

recognition but co-residence duration before adulthood includes all family members

who are co-residing, and thus it might be used to also detect other relatives apart from

siblings. Children need to be cared for in a way that promotes their ability to thrive and

ensures their survival and protection from injury and physical and sexual maltreatment.
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While such safety needs are important for all children, they are

especially critical for young children, who typically lack the individual resources

required to avoid dangers (National Research Council and Institute of Medicine, 2000).

Parents also may want to provide assistance to a child dealing with addiction or mental

health issues. And ongoing support may be a given for parents whose adult children are

disabled or have special needs. Sibling rivalry is the jealousy, competition and fighting

between brothers and sisters. It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids.

Problems often start right after the birth of the second child. Studies have shown that

unequal parental treatment is associated with relationship quality between siblings.

However, it is unclear how it affects the relationship between full and half-siblings.

Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and

stressful to parents. The research also found that no matter a child's birth order, every

single one was suspicious of their parents liking another better. “Everyone feels their

brother or sister is getting a better deal,” Conger said. For one, siblings have it tough.

Always competing for their parents love, never knowing who's ahead. But the good

news for brothers and sisters is that the relationship serves tons of benefits: Having a

sibling may make you more intelligent, more likely to have a stable marriage as an adult

and can serve as a built-in support system said Laurie (2016) .

Effect of Rivalry on Sibling's Relationship .

Love(2017) said the effects of sibling rivalry w/c can negative or positive,because

it depends on the personalities involved and how willing they are to learn from final

outcome. Negative effects of rivalry may often bring their parents into a dispute and one

of the possible effect is household that, overall has a much higher level of tension. If

children are constantly bickering with their siblings, the parents are bound to feel the

stress. Arguments and fights among two siblings will greatly affect any other siblings as

well, even if they are not directly involved in the sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry can also

negatively affect a marriage. Siblings may often bring their parents into a dispute, and

find that one parent is siding with one child, while the other parent is siding with the

other child. By communicating with your spouse and making sure that you present a

unified position, you can reduce some of the negative effects of sibling rivalry on your

marriage. And the positive effects is competing against one another in variety of areas,

whether it is sports, academic, or socially. Being competitive can often bring out a

child's strength.Mild competition in other areas can help to improve.

According to Vieru (2010),sibling rivalry has negative effects in later in life, because

most commonly seen in adolescent siblings whose connection tends to suffer

considerably in terms of trust and fights about the quality and amount of personal space.
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these forms of conflict lead to the most negative effects later on, such as impaired trust

and communication between brothers and sisters. “The first conflict area we found

includes issues about physical and emotional personal space, such as borrowing items

without asking and hanging around when older siblings have friends over,” explains

assistant professor Nicole Campione-Barr, who teaches at the UM Department of

Psychological Sciences. The paper the team produced shows that older siblings were far

more likely than their younger counterparts to complain about this type of behavior.

This stands to reason, given that older adolescents tend to value their privacy and

personal space more than young children. “When these issues were present, both

younger and older siblings reported less trust and communication. The second conflict

area includes equality and fairness issues, such as taking turns and sharing

responsibilities. These conflicts had no impact on relationship quality,” the investigator

adds.

Effect of sibling rivalry is can be extra painful because many of us carry the

belief that siblings are supposed to be close said Bundrant (2013). type of sibling

aggression has a similar effect on the victim’s mental health as bullying.Researchers

hope that the number of public service programs and announcements that have been

aimed at stopping bullying in schools could be used to shift the focus to violence in

sibling relationships as well.It’s important that parents also intervene and avoid giving
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their children divisive labels.Parents may feel like it’s okay for kids to fight things out,

but the effects of sibling abuse can persist into adulthood, causing emotional issues and

even self-sabotage later in life. Dr. Caffro stated that it could even erode a child’s sense

of self-identity and self-esteem.When siblings are found fighting physically or

humiliating each other, parents need to intervene and teach proper conflict resolution

skills.According to Dr. Caffro, it isn’t only the rough activity that parents need to look

out for; the findings of the study suggest that the threshold for the effects of

victimization is very low.

According to the admin of vital technologies ( 2019), Sibling rivalry can affect

family relationship because even though their parents try to provide equal attention to

their children,but their siblings think that they are getting unequal attention from their

parents and other family members. This sense of unequal attention and responsiveness

from the parents can become a cause of sibling rivalry. If a child is getting bored and his

sibling is enjoying, a fight will be started among themselves.

S.Michele Fry ( 2015) said that sibling rivalry have long ranging effects from

work to home.researchers recognized the significance of sibling relationships. As

siblinghood gets more attention and study, it’s quickly becoming clear that the bonds

forged between sisters and brothers have long-term effects. Beyond childhood they

affect feelings about self, judgment of others, and actions within other relationships —
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professional, romantic, and familial. Sibling relationships are also linked to health,

particularly mental health. It’s the relationship that forms a laboratory for self-invention

and discovery. Sisters and brothers practice their social skills, conflict resolution skills,

and perhaps. most important, their conflict prevention skills. It’s where they learn to

cooperate and to compromise — skills they carry into adulthood. It’s the first

relationship where they can choose to be empathetic (or not) or choose to compete (or

not).Labels can increase the competitiveness within a family because each child believes

he or she should be best in the family at something, says Sylvia Rimm.

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