NEGOTIATION ESSENTIALS

Life Skills for Business

BY: JESSICA NOTINI

Mediator, Facilitator, Trainer
1306 Summit Rd.
Lafayette, CA 94549
(925) 938 – 5011
[email protected]

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Negotiation Defined

• To confer or discuss with another with a view toward reaching

agreement where some interests may be shared and some may be
opposed

• And interactive communication process that may be used whenever

one person wants something from another and seeks their
cooperation in obtaining it

• A skill

• Haggling or bargaining over limited resources

• A useful way to resolve a problem or conflict

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 Critical Negotiation Theory

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Collaborative vs. Adversarial

Negotiation
Collaborative/Interest-Based Adversarial/Positional

• Focus on mutual gain • Focus on maximizing own gain

• Seek underlying needs • Stay at position level
• Joint problem solvers • View other as “opponent”
• Separate the people from “the • Attack people rather than “the
problem” problem”
• Share information • Guard/Withhold information
• Build relationship • Discount relationship or willing
• Invent multiple options to sacrifice it in competition
• Use objective criteria and • Drive for desired outcome
principled approach • More likely to use negative
leverage

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 Integrative vs. Distributive Bargaining

Creating and Claiming Value

Integrative Bargaining: Distributive Bargaining:

• Seek Interests • Establish Starting

• Create Value Positions
• “Expand the Pie” • Make Gradual
Concessions
• Look for joint gains
• “Cut the Pie”

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POSITIONS & INTERESTS

• A Demand • Lies Beneath the

Position
• A Strategy to Get
Needs Met • The Human Need

• A “Want” • The Driver or

Motivator

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 Categories of Interests/Needs
CONCRETE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROCEDURAL
SUBSTANTIVE EMOTIONAL

Examples: Examples
Examples:

• Food • Respect • Participation

• Shelter • Autonomy
• Order
• Enjoyment
• Clothing
• Love • Voice
• Health
• Understanding • Fairness/Equality
• Growth/Challenge

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Why seek the underlying interests?

• Communication occurs at more meaningful, respectful and “human”
level
• Promotes better understanding
• Improves negotiation atmosphere. Tends to decrease hostility and
conflict
• Often discover more possible solutions or more different strategies
to meet the underlying needs
• Solutions are more likely to solve the “real” problem and be more
effective and durable

But NOTE: Revealing interests too quickly and without adequate trust
and reciprocity may be unwise as it can leave you vulnerable to
exploitation.

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 Leverage in Negotiation
• Positive (“the carrot”):
Something you can offer that they want. Better yet something they need.
Better yet, something they “must have.”

• Negative (“the stick”)

A course of action or consequence that will occur and/or which you can
cause to occur, in the absence of a negotiated agreement, that is
potentially detrimental to the other person

• Normative (standards, “objective” criteria)

Established guidelines that are relevant in the context (e.g. law, industry
norms, religious or family values, company policy)
Guidelines are more persuasive to the extent that they are broadly
accepted and viewed as relatively “objective.”
Psychology: Human desire to appear consistent with norms
Note: Watch out for self-interested selection of “objective”
criteria
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The Negotiation Process

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 Phases of a Negotiation

Preparation

Introductions & Entry: Setting the Stage

Information Gathering & Exploration

Option Generation of Possible Resolutions

Option Analysis and Bargaining

Agreement Finalization & Closure

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The Setting Preparation Identify the Context

Ensure Appropriate:
Assess the nature &
importance of:
Time
Location
Relationships
Privacy/Publicity
Concrete Outcomes
Necessary People Included
Reputation
Necessary Information available
Hidden Decision-makers
Outside Influences

Know Yourself Try to Understand Them

Identify your: Identify or Imagine their:

Interests Interests
High Expectations High Expectations
Bottom Lines Bottom Lines
Potential Strategies Potential Strategies
Alternatives to Negotiation Alternatives to Negotiation
Principled Criteria Principled Criteria
Leverage Leverage
Potential Solutions Potential Solutions
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 Introductions & Entry

Set the Tone: Agree on Process:

Rapport Building Ground Rules

Positive start Time available
Clear/Respectful Introductions Format for discussions
“Housekeeping” (breaks etc.)

Set Forth Purpose(s) of Meeting/Negotiation:

Identify issues to discuss

Establish draft agenda (order for discussion)

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Information Gathering & Exploration

(Understanding – Not Problem Solving)

General Goals:

Build rapport
Clarify interests
Develop and share data needed for problem-solving
Identify areas of agreement & disagreement
Keep negotiation on track, focused on issues
Set the stage for problem-solving

Seek to Understand Them: Help Them to Understand You:

LISTEN!! (ACTIVELY) Assert your interests respectfully

Show them you are listening Explain your criteria & rationales
Probe for their interests Share persuasive data
Ask interested/curious questions Use leverage with care
Study their responses to initial ideas
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 Option Generation

The Spirit:

Creative Brainstorming Method:

Free-flowing
Inclusive Use board/flipchart
Team Attacking Problem All ideas recorded
“Expand the Pie” Ideas are not commitments
No criticism
No evaluation

Timing

After People Feel Heard/Understood

When Issues Clearly & Neutrally Defined
You Have Sufficient Information

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Option Analysis Generally Helpful Guidelines:

& Bargaining
Tackle one issue at a time
Stay task focused
Remember interests
Use objective criteria for evaluation
Maintain respectful environment
Patience, patience, patience

Creative Options Distributive Bargaining:

Can be:
Give principled rationale for positions
Combined Don’t lose track of underlying interests
Modified Leave room for concessions
Used in the alternative Look for reciprocity
Tested Compare proposals to your alternatives
Implemented in stages Study ways to break impasse
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 Agreement Finalization and Closure

DON’T
Capture Agreements: • Rush conclusion
• Often in writing • Leave without
• With clarity, specificity and detail clarifying agreements
(who, what, where, when, how) • Apply heavy pressure
• Clear responsibilities
• Potential incentives for compliance
• Anticipate potential contingencies setbacks
• Identify procedure for settling disputes
Closure
• Provide for monitoring
• End on affirmative note
• Possible confidentiality or publicity
• Be gracious
• Commend participation
• Use ceremony & publicity
as appropriate
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Essential Negotiation
& Influencing Skills

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 Communication & Influencing Skills
• Empathy/ Active
Listening

• Curious/Interested
Questions

• Effective Assertion

• Reframing
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Empathy / Active Listening

Demonstrating Understanding

FIRST CONTINUE
Listen using: Until you believe Speaker
• Eyes, has been adequately and
• Ears accurately heard INIVITE or WAIT
• Attention (mental FOR
and physical)
SECOND Speaker response
• Heart
Offer Your Understanding to your paraphrase
to the Speaker in your own • validation
words including:
• clarification
• Factual Content
• expansion
• Feelings Perceived
• correction
NOTE: Frequency, length and
focus (factual & emotional) of
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paraphrasing vary according to the
perceived needs of the Speaker.
Listener Pitfalls Communication
(“Noise”) Barriers

JUDGING AVOIDING OR MOVING

AWAY FROM THE
• Criticizing
OTHER’S CONCERNS
• Evaluating
• Shifting to “My Story”
• Labeling/Name
• Diverting Topics
Calling
SENDING • Excessive &
• Diagnosing SOLUTIONS Inappropriate Questioning
• Moralizing • Trying to “Fix It” • Logical Argument
• Praising • Advising • Reassuring
Evaluatively
• Ordering
• Threatening
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Benefits of Empathy
NOTE: Empathy is Understanding
NOT Sympathy or Agreement

FOR RECIPIENT FOR LISTENER

• Feel heard/understood • Build rapport with speaker

• Can stop repeating • Helps you stay focused/attentive

• Decreases tension • Reduces repetition

• Feel respected • Encourages information sharing

• Willing/ Able to share more • Promotes forward movement

• Deepens own understanding • Helps identify interests/concerns

• Clarifies • Clarifies situation

• Helps get to “heart of matter” • Increases respect for you

• Promotes readiness to move on • Makes speaker more receptive to

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 CAUTION
Questions are: Questions
• Directive
• Often
misused
Problematic Questions:
Effective Questions: • Disguised messages:
• Come from curiosity - attacks
- judgments
• Come from real desire to - signaled solutions
seek:
- information • Excessively Frequent
- understanding - feel like interrogation
- interests - feel like investigation
- ideas - too directive (not allow Speaker to
- clarification develop own story) -
- agreement • Closed-Ended at the wrong time
- solutions - good for narrowing and pinning
down
• Are used as a supplement to - bad for opening up and exploring
empathy (not a substitute) - seem more investigative
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ASSERTION

Problematic Assertion: Effective Assertion:

• Failure to combine with listening • Usually preceded by empathy
• Too early and too often • Avoids assumptions
• Defensive • Principled
- looks like an attack • Respectful
• Disrespectful • Conveys own needs, feelings,
information, perceptions
• Blaming
• Talks about contribution rather
• Attacking
than blame
• Highly positional
• Looks at perceptions, personal
• Focus on “truth” seeking meaning and interpretation rather
than “truth”
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 Good Negotiation =
• Awareness of and ability
to apply negotiation theory

• Development of an effective negotiation style

• Understanding of the negotiation process

• Improvement of critical communication

skills

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