Neal3

The graphs below provide information on global population figures
and figures for urban populations in different world regions.
The line graph illustrates the increase in global population from 1800 to 2100,
while the bar chart predicts the number of people who live in cities in
developed and less developed regions.
Overall, there is an upward trend of the number of world population. The

urban population in developing regions is expected to increase substantially,
while that of developed region is predicted to keep stable.
In 1800, there were 1000 million people in the world, and the worldwide
population witnessed a gradual growth to 2000 million by 1920. After that, a
rapid rise was seen in the size of people around the world, peaking at
approximately 8000 million by the end of 2040, before it is thought to
experience a decline by nearly 2000 million at the end of the period shown in
the graph.
The urban population in developed regions is expected to stand at about 1300

million, whereas it is expected to see almost a twofold increase in the number
of urban people in developing regions between 2015 and 2040.
IELTS Marking My comments

Criteria Band
score
Task Fulfilment Presents a clear position throughout the response. Presents a

clear overview of main trends, however, it is unclear at times 6.0
which periods of time you are talking about - in your
overview you should specify timer time periods – as well as
picking out general trends.
Cohesion and Logically organises information and ideas; there is clear

Coherence progression throughout. Presents a clear central topic 6.0
within each paragraph. Uses cohesive devices effectively,
but the lack of time references (years) and in the case of
this sentence: -, before it is thought to experience a
decline by nearly 2000 million at the end of the period
shown in the graph. – the information is about after not
before – there is some confusion.
http://library.bcu.ac.uk/learner/writingguides/1.33.htm
Lexical resource Generally appropriate word choices and some very good
collocation - ‘witness growth; upward trend; increase 6.5
substantially’.
Grammatical Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but
Range they rarely reduce communication. However, your
and accuracy mistakes repeat in the task i.e. the wrong tense and
prepositions. The tenses are the problem here – you can 6.5
use all present simple tense if you want; if you choose to
use past tense, write about specific years, present perfect
needs to be used to talk about past until now and future
tense (will) or (expected to/projected to) for future
trends. You do show control of grammar though with
your longer sentences meaning that you show more a
grammar capability of a 7.0.
Overall score : 6.0 /6.5 – because there are issues with tenses and lack of detail (about
years) sometimes it is difficult to follow your description of the data.
Some useful information 
There has been an increase in the number of people aged over thirty. [correct]
There has been an increase of the number of people aged over thirty. [incorrect]
Between 1990 and 2000, there was a drop 15%. [incorrect]Between 1990 and 2000, there was a
drop of 15%. [correct]
We use a noun describing a specific trend or change + in + a word phrase describing the thing which
has changed:
* a(n) cut / decline / decrease / drop / fall / increase / reduction / rise, etc. in something
There have been dramatic cuts in the level of spending on the elderly.
The chart shows a decline in the bird pouplation.
* a(n) change / growth / improvement / trend / variation, etc. in something

There have been significant improvements in health care.
We have seen massive changes in people's lifestyles.
We use a noun describing a change or the result of a change + of + a number showing the size of the
change:
* a(n) decrease / drop / fall / increase / reduction / rise, etc. of + number
The statistics show a reduction of 20% in energy costs as a result of the government's new measures.
The radio station experienced a fall of 36,000 listeners to a total audience of 2.1 million.
* a high / low / maximum / total / peak, etc. + of + number

Demand reached a peak of 45,000 in early March.

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The graphs below provide information on global population figures

and figures for urban populations in different world regions.

Overall, there is an upward trend of the number of world population. The

The urban population in developed regions is expected to stand at about 1300

IELTS Marking My comments

Task Fulfilment Presents a clear position throughout the response. Presents a

Cohesion and Logically organises information and ideas; there is clear

Some useful information 

* a(n) change / growth / improvement / trend / variation, etc. in something

* a high / low / maximum / total / peak, etc. + of + number

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