Quarter 3 - Week 4

At the end of the lesson, I should be able to:

EN10WC-IIIg-14 - Compose an independent critique of a chosen selection (Persuasive Essay)
Concepts:

Defining an Independent Critique and Persuasive Essay

An independent critique is a piece of writing which intends to do the following:
Describe: give the reader a sense of the writer's overall purpose and intent
Analyze: examine how the structure and language of the text convey its
meaning
Interpret: state the significance or importance of each part of the text
Assess: make a judgment of the work’s worth or value
A persuasive essay encourages the readers to accept a certain view or to
undertake a certain action. Writer debates on an issue. Information is arranged by
defining the issue, showing both sides of the argument, and taking a clear stand on
the issue

FORMATTING A CRITIQUE
Introduction
 name of author and work
 a general overview of the subject and summary of the author's argument
Body
 objective description of a major point in the work
 detailed analysis of how the work conveys an idea or concept
 interpretation of the concept
Conclusion
 overall interpretation
 relationship of particular interpretations to the subject as a whole
 a critical assessment of the value, worth, or meaning of the work, both
negative and positive

The writer may not be asked in every critique to assess work, only to analyze and
interpret it. If you are asked for a personal response, remember that your
assessment should not be the expression of an unsupported personal opinion. Your
interpretations and your conclusions must be based on evidence from the text and
follow from the ideas you have dealt with in the paper.
*Remember also that a critique may express a positive as well as a negative
assessment. Don't confuse  critique with “criticize”  in the popular sense of the
word, meaning “to point out faults.”

Study the example of a persuasive essay and its critique.

Why You Should Not Eat Fast Food
 Considering the ever-increasing pace of life in big cities, sometimes it can be easy to
lose oneself in overwhelming routine. Being in a hurry all the time, a regular citizen may have
no time for satisfying even basic needs such as sleep and nutrition. This is probably why seeing
sleeping people in public transport is so common, and why fast food restaurants are crowded all
the time. Sleep deprivation in big cities is a well-known problem, and people are gradually
becoming more aware of the importance of sleep. In the case of fast food, however, things are
not that simple. Even though the majority of people know about the dangers of eating from fast
food chains and similar places, they still go there. The factors causing such behavior should be
analyzed separately. Instead, this paper focuses on the reasons why you should quit eating fast
food as soon as possible.
The most obvious reason everyone is aware of is the increased risk of developing obesity.
Sometimes, being overweight is caused by health problems or psychological issues. However, much
more often, becoming overweight is evoked by dysfunctional eating habits and the regular
consumption of fast food. According to research, people eating fast food regularly develop much
higher risks of gaining extra weight. They are also more likely to develop type 2 diabetes.
Unfortunately, not only adults are exposed to these risks–teenagers and children are also under
threat. Throughout the last 30 years, the rates of adolescent obesity have tripled. For children, this
index has doubled over the same period of time. This might be related to sophisticated advertising,
but facts remain facts: fast food leads to obesity, and all age groups are at risk (Christ, 2014).
Unlike organic food, which is by default created from pure, natural ingredients, fast food
often has a bunch of dubious ingredients in it. To start with, all kinds of flavor enhancers are
added into it so that it tastes and smells better. Conservatives and food preservatives may be
used as well–in particular, tertiary butyl hydroquinone, which is made from similar ingredients
as petroleum. As if this was not enough, fast food may contain the remainders of drugs and
antibiotics. How do they get in there? The good news is that fast food does contain real meat.
The bad news is that animals are kept in such awful conditions that they often suffer from a
number of diseases. To deal with this problem, fast food manufacturers may add antibiotics to
animals’ nutrition–later, they can get into your body when you eat your next chicken burger
(Gallam, 2017).
Along with the risks of developing obesity and pumping your body with doubtful chemicals,
eating fast food often means exposing almost every organ of your body to dangers. For example, it
becomes much easier to get kidney diseases: because fast food is often salty and greasy, it
increases blood pressure, makes you want to drink all kinds of soda drinks (which are unhealthy in
their own way), and affects kidneys adversely. Besides, due to high amounts of cholesterol and
triglyceride contained in fast food, your cardiovascular system suffers as well. This is not to mention
the fact that processed fats in fries and other junk food, when supplied to the brain instead of
nutrition, affect cognitive abilities in a negative way. In particular, according to research conducted
on rats, a week of daily fast food consumption caused memory impairment in test subjects. And, as
if this was not enough, junk food increases your chances to get cancer (“Beauty and Tips”, 2020).
As it can be seen, cheap and tasty food is not what your body needs. To start with,
when eating fast food regularly, you put yourself (or your children, if you tolerate their fast food
habits) at risk of developing obesity, and possibly type 2 diabetes. Some crucial organs of your
body such as kidneys, heart, and brain, suffer from junk food immensely. And, if adverse health
effects are not enough for you, think about preservatives, antibiotics, and other chemicals you
stuff your body with when eating fast food.
Source: Academic Help. (2021). Why You Should Not Eat Fast Food. Retrieved from https://bit.ly/38VjEb8
Sample Independent Critique
 The persuasive essay is published by Academic Help (2021) and this

Intro
presents an issue about unhealthy eating habits of consuming fast food. It also
introduces various reasons one should quit eating fast food as soon as possible.
Furthermore, this essay shows how fast food could affect one’s health such as
developing obesity,
This persuasive pumping
essay into the the
contextualizes body doubtful
topic chemicals,
on fast andpresent
food in the exposing the
times
which can also be observed in Iloilo City. Given the fact that Iloilo is also
considered as one of the highly-urbanized cities in the Philippines, the scenarios
presented are relatable. Even though the thesis statement was clearly presented
in the first paragraph, mentioning about sleep deprivation and the observation of
the writer seem to be off the topic about fast food chains. Juxtaposing sleep
deprivation and emphasizing the unhealthy eating habit of fast food should have
been delivered in a different manner which will create a more interesting effect
in the introduction.
Body

The essay’s well-structured organization is presented through its three (3)

major reasons for avoiding eating fast food. Here, each topic sentence was
clearly defined. Furthermore, transitional devices were used to guide the readers
as the author convinces them about the adverse effects of eating too much fast
food. The use of examples and studies made the essay more reliable because
this talks about our health. The style of the writer of using citations and other
technical terms was appropriate. Providing concrete examples by elaborating on
how the meat is processed and manufactured and how the organs respond to
chemicals created a clear picture of the adverse health effects of eating fast
food. The topic on why we should not eat fast food was successfully carried out
by the author.

The last part of the essay restates the thesis statement by summarizing
Conclusion

the major points on how to avoid eating cheap and tasty fast food. In the
conclusion, the writer identified the ill effects of eating fast food regularly such
as developing diseases. The entire essay has substantially provided how well we
can protect ourselves from these health risks—simply, avoid this fast food. It is

Activity 4A
Directions: Read carefully the given persuasive essay. After reading, on a shot bond paper
compose your own independent critique following the given format and example above. A
rubric is provided for your guide.

How to Convince Your Loved Ones to Stay at Home during the Coronavirus Pandemic

You may be taking the coronavirus quarantine rules seriously, but odds are someone in your
life isn't quite self-distancing like they should. Maybe your mom's still going out shopping several
times a week, your best friend is trying to convince you to come to her (in-person) book club—or
your teen's being a teen and simply won't stay put in the house.

There are definitely reasons why they may balk at staying home. "For many people, the
threat of coronavirus feels distant," says Amelia Aldao, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist at
Together CBT in New York City and member of the scientific advisory board of R3SET. "They don't
know people who have gotten it or they haven't spent much time really thinking through the
statistics—so they might not feel the threat in the same way most people probably do at this point."

And facing a pandemic could lead more people—young and old—to focus more on a "live for
today" mindset. "During a time of pandemic, in which the horizon is filled with so much uncertainty,
it makes perfect sense that many of us—young, old, and everything in between—might be shifting
our emotional focus on the present," Aldao says. But living for the now—whether you're having an
unsanctioned "corona" party or simply keep on doing the activities you love—puts a lot of people at
risk.
It can be hard to get your parents or child to commit to following the shelter-in-place
guidelines for the foreseeable future, but what if you started smaller than that? Make that day as
pleasant as possible—let them pick what's on TV, or what you have for dinner—and praise them for
staying in. "By the end of the day, many of the fears and annoyances with complying with shelter-
in-place orders could very well be demystified by reflecting on how easy it was to do a day at a
time," he says.

Staying at home isn't so easy for you, either, so share your own feelings about it to develop
a little bit of that "we're all in this together" spirit. "That allows the person to feel understood, rather
than directly challenged," says Jason Woodrum, ACSW, therapist at New Method Wellness in San
Juan Capistrano, Calif. By making it clear that following stay-at-home orders is a team effort for
everyone around the globe (including you and other people they love), they may begin to feel more
willing to go along.

It will likely take more than one conversation to get them to see reason and start changing
their behavior, so the experts advise to keep trying. "The greatest gift we can give one another is
patience and understanding," Woodrum says. "Create space for those you love to be able to speak
with you about where they are emotionally during this time, and allow them to do the same for
you."
There's no one-size-fits-all argument that will convince everyone, so think about what will be
most effective. Some people will respond better to strong facts and statistics, while others might
respond better to an emotional plea that describes how it could affect them personally. "Try to
explain to people the magnitude of the problem we’re facing in as many different ways as possible,"
Aldao says. "Maybe showing them more stories of people catching it. Maybe spending more time
walking them through the numbers. Making it emotional can work really well in terms of persuading
people to do the right thing." So if all else fails, bringing up how COVID-19 could cause serious
problems for loved ones who have medical issues or are older than 60 could help.
Source: Milbrand, L. (18 January 2021). How to Convince Your Loved Ones to Stay at Home During the Coronavirus Pandemic. Retrieved from https://bit.ly/2LYkLOq.

Independent Critique Essay Rubric

Highly Satisfactory Satisfactory Fairly Satisfactory

5 pts 3 pts 1 pts
Paper is well organized, has a very Paper is organized, has an intro, Paper is not well organized, has an
clear intro, body and conclusion. The body and conclusion. The purpose of unclear or non-existent intro, body
purpose of the paper is clear from the paper becomes clear within the and conclusion. The purpose of the
Organization
the very beginning and the name paper and the name and author of paper is unclear and the name and
and author of the article is made the article is mentioned within the author of the article is not stated or
clear early in the paper paper. stated late.

Summary The article is clearly but succinctly The article is clearly summarized, but The article summary is unclear or
 summarized - only the key points of some sub points are addressed along
the article are touched upon. The with main points. The summary is overly detailed. Often well over half
article summary takes up no more not succinct. Often the summary of the assignment is taken up by the
than one third of the total takes up more than 1/3 of the total summary.
assignment. assignment.

Strengths and weaknesses that are Strengths and weaknesses that are Strengths and weaknesses are
central to the article are addressed. peripheral to the article are addressed peripherally, weakly, or
Critique The discussion of strengths and addressed. The discussion of not at all. The discussion of
weaknesses take up the majority of strengths and weaknesses take up strengths and weaknesses take up
the assignment. the majority of the assignment only a small part of the assignment

There are no grammatical errors or There are few grammatical errors or There are many grammatical errors
Mechanics
typos. typos. and/or typos/

Over-all The critique paper is excellently The critique paper is very good but
The critique paper needs revision.
Impact made and very scholarly. needs some improvements.

Rubric adapted from: Reazon Systems, Inc. (2020). Critique Paper Rubric. Retrieved from https://bit.ly/3svs2WD.