A Regret In the Present Life
By: Genesis Harper
Sometimes having no worries as a kid offered more time to do things that produced
happiness. Being a 5th grade kid excited to graduate from elementary school was the best time of
my childhood. I felt like I was growing up just because I was going to middle school. It was the
last day of school and I was playing with my friends in the afterschool program. Even though I
was having a blast, I was even more excited to get picked up and go home to celebrate the last
day of school with my neighborhood friends. Seeing my mom come through the doorway with
everything but a smile on her face had me concerned; almost worried.
I looked at my mom confused as to why she wasn’t showing any form of emotion. After
she built up enough courage to tell me the problem, I felt all the excitement I had been snatched
away from me. The last day of elementary school was the first day without my grandfather. My
grandfather was my best friend. He never judged me for anything. He understood what it was
like to be my age and let me be a kid. Going back home to Michigan every summer was
something I looked forward to as a kid every year. To find out my favorite person wasn’t going
to be there when I got there was the most disappointing thing to go through.
Being in Michigan for a different reason than to spend time with my grandparents during
the summertime was taking a hard toll on me. It upset me seeing all my family members in one
sitting. Seems like we only come together when there's passing in the family. The funeral was in
a few days and I just couldn’t pull myself together. Being in the house he died in wasn’t scary to
me. Honestly, I felt his spirit with me everywhere I went, especially in the basement. That’s
where we hung out most of the time during the summer; watching tv and talking about his life as
a kid. He was always more than a grandparent to me, he was a friend you could talk to about
anything and he’d listen. His passing forced me to mature at a young age. I couldn’t connect with
other kids my age and quite frankly, didn’t want to.
It was the day of his funeral and I made absolutely no progress. The ride there only made
me more upset because I knew I couldn’t run from reality. I was terrified to enter the building. I
just couldn’t stop myself from crying because a part of me truly thought this was a dream. But, I
couldn’t wake up. Sitting through the funeral service was the hardest because afterward, we all
had to go up and view the body. I felt stuck when it was my turn to go up. Walking up there and
looking at his body didn’t look anything like him. This wasn’t the papo I remembered. I was
scared looking at my best friend in that casket. He wasn’t going to sit up to hug me one last time.
This day wasn’t going to end and he’d be there the next morning when I opened my eyes. This
was it; there were no more memories to make. No more laughs to share. I knew that day was
going to change my life forever.
Years have passed and I’m on my way to graduating this year. I made a promise to him
and myself that I would graduate. He did all he could while he was here and I want to make him
proud. I was given one of his gold chains from my grandmother and I do not take it off for
anything. Every day I live is for him. His spirit is with me and he is a part of me. I have a
connection with him that only comes once in a lifetime. Cherish the moments you have with
your family. Tell your loved ones that you love them. I left my best friend with a smile not
knowing that was the last time I’d share a moment with him. We all have a purpose in life, and
my grandfather is mine.