164

Presence
By Amy Cuddy
Reviewed by Unity Puente

About the Author

Dr. Amy Cuddy is a social psychologist, bestselling author, award-winning
Harvard lecturer, and expert on the behavioral science of power, presence, and
prejudice.

Cuddy earned her Ph.D. from Princeton University in 2005 and was a professor
at Harvard Business School from 2008 to 2017, Northwestern University’s
Kellogg School of Management from 2006 to 2008, and Rutgers University from
2005 to 2006. She continues to teach at Harvard Business School in executive
education.

About the Book

Cuddy’s 2012 TED Talk, “Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are,” has
been viewed more than 50 million times and is the second-most-viewed TED
Talk. The overwhelming outreach of stories shared internationally to how
people overcame adversity, fears, challenges have resulted in this book.
Very simple techniques are developed to approach our biggest challenges
with confidence instead of dread, and to leave them with satisfaction
instead of regret.

The Book’s ONE THING

“Bringing your boldest self to your biggest challenges” by nudging

ourselves, moment by moment, by tweaking our body language,
behavior, and mind-set in our day-to-day lives.

BLUE SKY LEADERSHIP CONSULTING | 210-219-9934 | [email protected]

Blue Sky Leadership Consulting works with organizations to leverage Strategic Thinking and Execution Planning and we encompass many
of the principles in these books into our Four DecisionsTM methodology and development of your company’s Growth Roadmap™. Need
to grow top line revenue? Improve bottom-line profits? Build accountable and trusting teams? Improve cash flow? Develop leadership
team members? Contact us for a free consultation

Volume 6
Issue 16
Copyright 2019 |Blue Sky Leadership Consulting | All rights reserved
1. What is Presence
We know it when we feel it, and we know it when we see it

• State of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true

thoughts, feelings, values, and potential.
• You don’t need to embark on a long pilgrimage, experience spiritual
epiphany, or work on a complete inner transformation.
• Presence is about the everyday.
• We can self-induce presence!

What it is not: What it is:

• Approach with DREAD • Approached with EXCITEMENT
• Execute with ANXIETY • Executed with CONFIDENCE
• Leave with REGRET • Left with NO REGRETS

Being present today is far more challenging than ever:

Instead of being present, we are
obsessed with the outcome, we are not
listening and instead wondering what
others may think of us. We worry more
about managing the impression we
have on others instead of managing
the impression we have on ourselves.

2. Believing and Owning Your Story

Self as it relates to presence: Authentic Best Self:
• Multifaceted, not singular • Looking back in your life when your heart is full
• Expressed through our thoughts, • Happiest and most memorable
feelings, values, behaviors • Calm and connected with people
• Dynamic and flexible, situational • Overall peace

What is your story?

Overcome your biggest challenges by reaffirming the parts of your authentic self you
value most. Your self-affirmation is grounded in truth.

Volume 6
Book Review: Presence Page 2|8
Issue 16
3. Stop Preaching, Start Listening: How Presence Begets Presence

• Baptist Minister Reverend Jeffrey Brown

• Boston ’92 murder rate rose 230% in one year
• Reduced gang violence by 79%
• Decline referred to the “Boston Miracle”
• Listened instead of preaching
• Ted Talk: How Can Listening Transform an Entire Community?

Why is it so hard for us to shut up and listen?

Talking first says: I know better than you, I am smarter than you, I should speak while you listen.
Talking first sets the agenda.

Real listening can’t happen unless we have a sincere desire to understand what we’re hearing.
Listening is hard when you have to suspend bias and judgement.

When you stop talking and listen instead:

• People can trust you.
• You acquire key information.
• You see others as individuals and allies.
• You develop solutions that other people are willing to accept and even adopt.
• When people feel heard, they are more willing to listen

4. I Don’t Deserve To Be Here

Imposter Syndrome/Experience

Paralyzing belief that we have been given something we didn’t

earn and don’t deserve and at some point, we will be exposed.

We overthink and second-guess. Imposterism steals our power

and suffocates our presence.

Imposterism undercuts our ability to feel good about the things we

do well.
If we succeed, it was luck.
If we fail, we were incompetent.

Volume 6
Book Review: Presence Page 3|8
Issue 16
5. How Powerlessness Shackles the Self (and How Power Sets it Free)
Power affects our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and even physiology in fundamental ways that directly
facilitate or obstruct our presence, our performance, and the very course of our lives. When we feel
powerless, we cannot be present. Presence is power.

“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the
sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever
have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all your life spend your days
on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.”
- Howard Thurman

Are you going to pull your own strings or are you going to let someone else pull them for you?

The Power of Power:

• Bring your best self forward

• Change your future
• Outlook
• Optimistic
• Happier
• A world filled with opportunities
• People are allies and friends, not competitors
• Live longer

Powerful people ACT. Power cultivates presence.

Powerless people INACTION. Powerless blocks presence.

6. Slouching, Steepling, and the Language of the Body

Power doesn’t just expand our minds; it also expands our bodies. It is universal.

Volume 6
Book Review: Presence Page 4|8
Issue 16
 7. Surfing, Smiling, and Singing Ourselves to Happiness

• Our bodies don’t just carry us where we want to go; they can help carry us to who we want to be.
• Where our bodies lead, our minds and emotions will follow.
• Trauma, like powerlessness, causes profound disharmony between body and mind.
• The breath is a tool built into our biology to become present
• Breathing rate affects heart rate, blood pressure, cortisol, and other health factors

How you carry yourself – your facial expressions, your postures, your breathing—all
clearly affect the way you think, feel, and behave.

8. The Body Shapes the Mind (So Starfish Up!)

The way you carry yourself is a source of personal power—the

kind of power that is the key to presence. It’s the key that allows
you to unlock yourself—your abilities, your creativity, your
courage, and even your generosity. It doesn’t give you skills or
talents you don’t have; it helps you share the ones you do have.
If doesn’t make you smarter or better informed; it makes you
more resilient and open. It doesn’t change who you are; it allows
you to be who you are.

• Pain management: Power poses toughens the body for physical pain.
• Increased interview performance – take up space before an interview
• Virtual reality: flying simulation developed higher feelings of presence

9. How to Pose for Presence

Pre-event warm-up:

• Every day may be a challenge; power pose in bed.

• Pose big at home, office, and other personal spaces
• Private spaces: elevator, bathroom, stairwell

Volume 6
Book Review: Presence Page 5|8
Issue 16
 • Don’t sit in waiting rooms, stand or walk instead
• If you can’t strike a pose physically, do it mentally
• If sitting is your only option, claps hands behind you to open chest

Postures during challenging situations:

• Sit up or stand up
• Keep shoulders back and chest open
• Breathe slowly and deeply
• Keep the chin up and level
• Keep feet grounded, ankles not wrapped
• When presenting, move around when you can
• Adopt open gestures
• Avoid penguin arms

Self-awareness:

• What is happening when you contact, collapse, shrink?

• Set posture reminders
• If you sleep/awake in a fetal position, stretch before and after
• Insert power powers with daily routines (brushing teeth)
• Use a headset during high volume calls
• Stand at computer station
• Walking breaks throughout the day
• Wearable devices that monitor poor posture
• Social opportunities: gym, running, yoga, dancing

10. Self-Nudging: How Tiny Tweaks Lead to Big Changes

We encourage ourselves to feel a little more courageous, to act a bit more boldly—to step
outside the walls of our own fear, anxiety, and powerlessness.

Nudges: small and require minimal psychological and physical commitment. Minimal
modifications to one’s own body language and mind-set that are intended to produce small
psychological and behavioral improvements in the moment.

• Nudges focus on the how, not the what

• New Year’s Resolutions focus on the negative instead of the positive
• What we wear can change how we see, feel, think, and behave

Volume 6
Book Review: Presence Page 6|8
Issue 16
 11. Fake It Til You Become It

• TedTalk worldwide viewer testimonials

• “I didn’t change anyone’s lives; they changed their own lives.”
• You are no longer faking it when you’ve become it

CALL TO ACTION!
Troubling discovery: children identify power poses as male.

• Change the stereotype!

• Intervene now!
• Let’s stop thinking about powerful poses as masculine
and powerless postures as feminine.

Our bodies change our minds.

Our minds change our behavior.
Our behavior changes our outcomes.

Volume 6
Book Review: Presence Page 7|8
Issue 16
 Our Faculty and Our Sponsors

Actions
What thought, or idea had the biggest impact on you today?

What is your ONE THING? What one specific action you will take
TODAY from what was discussed?

_________________________________________________
Calendar of Events

Volume 6
Issue 16
Copyright 2019 |Blue Sky Leadership Consulting | All rights reserved