Mindfulness

DOI 10.1007/s12671-014-0359-2

ORIGINAL PAPER

Self-Compassion and Well-Being in Parents of Children

with Autism
Kristin D. Neff & Daniel J. Faso

# Springer Science+Business Media New York 2014

Abstract Parents of children with autism are faced with Introduction

difficult and unique daily stressors associated with their
child’s disorder. The personal characteristics of parents can Parents who raise a child with autism are faced with unique
influence how they approach stressful life events and poten- challenges. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is characterized
tially help them cope with some of the deleterious effects by a triad of impairments in social interaction, communica-
associated with extreme stress. One factor that may be an tion, and flexible behaviors (including restricted and repetitive
important coping strategy is self-compassion, which involves behaviors and interests). Manifestations of ASD vary greatly
being kind to oneself in times of difficulty, recognizing the depending on the developmental level and chronological age
shared nature of human suffering, and being mindfully aware of the child and may include a number of behavioral symp-
of negative thoughts and emotions. This study examined the toms such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, aggression, self-
association between self-compassion and well-being in 51 injurious behavior, temper tantrums, and delayed toilet train-
parents of a child with autism using self-report measures. ing (Duarte et al. 2005). Parents of autistic children tend to
Self-compassion was positively associated with life satisfac- report lower quality of life, more depression, and greater
tion, hope, and goal reengagement and negatively associated pessimism about the future than parents of typically develop-
with depression and parental stress. Even though child symp- ing children, as well as parents of children with other devel-
tom severity is often the strongest predictor of negative ad- opmental disabilities (Cappe et al. 2011; Johnson et al. 2011).
justment for parents, self-compassion universally predicted A recent meta-analysis found that parents of autistic children
parental well-being over and above the effects of child symp- also had higher levels of parenting stress compared to others,
tom severity. Results suggest that self-compassion may play a with large effect sizes indicated (Hayes and Watson 2013).
significant role in well-being for parents of children with The severity of a child’s autism symptoms and behaviors has
autism. Implications for future research and applications of consistently been found to be one of the strongest predictors of
the construct of self-compassion are discussed. parental stress (Davis and Carter 2008; Ingersoll and
Hambrick 2011; Lyons et al. 2010).
Another factor impacting parental well-being is the shame
Keywords Self-compassion . Autism . Life satisfaction . often experienced by parents of children with autism. For
Parental stress . Depression instance, parents may receive censure and disapproval from
strangers for not being able to “control” their child (Gray
1993; Mak and Kwok 2010). Because they have no physical
markers of their condition, many just assume that the child is
misbehaving. Judgment from others is often internalized into
K. D. Neff (*)
Department of Educational Psychology, University of Texas at self-blame for not being a more effective parent (Fernandez
Austin, D5800 University Station, Austin, TX 78712, USA and Arcia 2004). Parents may feel that they are not making the
e-mail: [email protected] right treatment choices, especially given the constant advice
from others about what treatments they “should” be trying
D. J. Faso
School of Behavioral and Brain Sciences, University of Texas at (Miller et al. 2012). They may also experience feelings of guilt
Dallas, Dallas, TX, USA for not doing enough for their autistic child—and for not
 Mindfulness

doing enough for their typically developing children (Kuhn a large effect size for the relationship between self-
and Carter 2006). Parents may even irrationally blame them- compassion and common expressions of psychopathology
selves for causing their child’s condition in the first place such as depression, anxiety, and stress. Self-compassion is
(Fernandez and Arcia 2004). This cascade of shame, guilt, also linked to positive psychological outcomes such as happi-
and self-blame is a major contributor to parenting stress, ness, optimism, and life satisfaction (Hollis-Walker and
depression, and anxiety (Cappe et al. 2011; Mak and Kwok Colosimo 2011; Neff et al. 2008). Research suggests that
2010). being self-compassionate is a strong predictor of motivation,
Parents vary substantially in their ability to successfully leading to greater perceived confidence and less fear of failure
respond to the challenges of having an autistic child. Some (Neff et al. 2005; Smeets et al. 2014), as well as more persis-
parents experience significant mental health problems, while tence and goal reengagement after failure (Breines and Chen
others may have relatively few difficulties (Hastings and 2012; Neely et al. 2009). Self-compassion is linked to health-
Taunt 2002). Perry’s (2004) model of stress in parents of ier behaviors in terms exercise, eating well, and moderate
children with disabilities proposes that parental outcomes are alcohol use (Brooks et al. 2012; Magnus et al. 2010;
influenced in part by internal coping resources. For example, Schoenefeld and Webb 2013). Self-compassion also appears
Lyons et al. (2010) found that while autism symptom severity to be a powerful source of coping and resilience when faced
was the strongest and most consistent predictor of the stress with life stressors such as divorce (Sbarra et al. 2012), HIV
experienced by parents of autistic children, coping styles status (Kemppainen et al. 2013), negative social evaluation
moderated the relationship between autism symptoms and (Breines et al. 2014), trauma (Vettese et al. 2011), and combat
parental stress. exposure (Dahm 2013). By treating oneself with kindness and
One factor that has recently been examined in terms of care, remembering that suffering is part of the shared human
parental coping with autism is mindfulness. Broadly defined, experience, self-compassionate individuals have more emo-
mindfulness refers to the self-regulation of attention in the tional resources available to successfully meet life challenges.
present moment while maintaining a stance of openness and For this reason, self-compassion is likely to play a role in the
curiosity (Bishop et al. 2004). Mindfulness-based interven- ability of parents to cope with the challenges of raising an
tions have been shown to reduce stress among parents of autistic child (Neff 2011).
children with developmental disabilities in general (Bazzano No study has focused specifically on the link between self-
et al. 2013; Myers et al. 2014) and among parents of children compassion and well-being among parents of children with
with autism in particular (Coatsworth et al. 2010; Singh et al. autism to our knowledge. However, one study has examined
2006, 2007, 2014). Trait mindfulness has also been linked to the link between self-compassion and general parenting stress
greater well-being among parents of autistic children (Conner in parents of nondisabled children. Moreira et al. (2014) found
and White 2014; Jones et al. 2014). that self-compassion was negatively linked to parenting stress
Self-compassion—a construct closely related to mindful- and that parenting stress mediated the positive association
ness—has not received much attention in the research litera- found between self-compassion and child well-being. Also,
ture as it relates to parents of autistic children. Neff (2003b) a few studies with a focus on mindfulness among parents of
proposed that self-compassion is comprised of three disabled children have included self-compassion as an out-
interacting components: self-kindness versus self-judgment, come variable. Research suggests that mindfulness training
common humanity versus isolation, and mindfulness versus for parents of children with developmental disabilities boosts
overidentification. Self-kindness entails being gentle, support- self-compassion in addition to increasing well-being and re-
ive, and caring toward the self in times of distress rather than ducing stress (Bazzano et al. 2013; Benn et al. 2012). In fact,
attacking and berating oneself for personal shortcomings. Bögels et al. (2010) argued that increased self-compassion
Common humanity involves recognizing that all people make may be a key mechanism by which mindfulness-based inter-
mistakes and experience hardship in their lives, rather than ventions are effective for parents of autistic children. Because
feeling isolated by one’s suffering. Mindfulness in the context parents devote so much time and energy to caring for their
of self-compassion involves being aware of painful thoughts autistic child, self-compassion is thought to create a healthier
and emotions with clarity and balance, neither ignoring nor balance by helping parents to nourish and take emotional care
ruminating on negative aspects of oneself or one’s life. of themselves. Duncan et al. (2009) included self-compassion
Although mindfulness is a core component of self-compas- in their model of mindful parenting. A recent study (Beer et al.
sion, the latter construct also entails feelings of sympathy and 2013) examined this model among parents of autistic children
interconnectedness. using an adapted version of Duncan’s (2007) Mindful
The body of research on self-compassion is rapidly Parenting Scale, which includes items measuring compassion
expanding due to its strong link with mental health (see for oneself and one’s child. These items were significant
Barnard and Curry (2011) for a review). In fact, a recent predictors of parental stress. Note that Duncan’s original scale
meta-analysis by MacBeth and Gumley (2012) documented was never published or validated. Although a Dutch version
Mindfulness

of the scale has recently been published (de Bruin et al. 2014), distress directly generated from caring for one’s child, such as
its scale structure differs from the original. The Beer et al. perceived incompetence, restrictions on life roles, and feelings
(2013) findings, therefore, while providing clues about the of isolation. Self-compassion should reduce parents’ distress
role of self-compassion among parents of autistic children, levels by providing a sense of self-efficacy, self-acceptance,
need to be interpreted with caution. and feelings of connectedness to common humanity in their
Given that self-compassion is a modifiable trait (Neff and roles as caregivers. Another form of stress is the functionality
Germer 2013; Smeets et al. 2014) that offers a potential of parent-child interactions—the extent to which the child
coping resource for parents, the goal of the current study meets parental expectations of behavior and emotional con-
was to directly examine the link between self-compassion nection so that interactions are positively rewarding to the
and well-being in parents of autistic children using the Self- parent. We hypothesized that self-compassion would lead to
Compassion Scale (Neff 2003a, b), a well-established mea- more satisfying parent-child interactions given that parents are
sure of self-compassion. We hypothesized that self- able to give themselves and their child compassion and un-
compassion would be associated with positive outcomes for derstanding when disappointments occur. Stress also stems
parents such as greater life satisfaction. When parents bring a from perceptions of one’s child as difficult in terms of behav-
sense of care and connectedness to their experience of raising iors like defiance or noncompliance or making unwanted
an autistic child, it should make their lives richer and more demands. Self-compassionate parents should be less likely to
meaningful (Cappe et al. 2011). It should also increase their view their child’s behaviors as frustrating and difficult given
hope for the future. Snyder et al. (1991) argued that human their internal coping resources, which should allow them to be
behavior is primarily goal driven and define hope as the less overwhelmed and stressed as a result.
perception that one can attain one’s future goals. While par- Because the severity of children’s autism symptoms have
ents of children with autism often face challenges that been shown to negatively impact parental well-being (Davis
undermine hopefulness and increase worry about the and Carter 2008; Ingersoll and Hambrick 2011; Lyons et al.
future (Lloyd and Hastings 2009; Faso et al. 2013), 2010), we wanted to determine if self-compassion would
the increased feelings of self-efficacy and reduced ten- predict outcomes over and above the impact of autism symp-
dency to ruminate on negative thoughts and emotions associ- tom severity. We hypothesized that self-compassion
ated with self-compassion should help counter this trend (Neff would be an even stronger predictor of parental well-
2003a; Neff et al. 2005). being than symptom severity, given that the way parents
We expected that self-compassion would be linked to relate to themselves internally may have a more direct
greater goal reengagement among parents. Goal reengage- impact on mental well-being than the external circum-
ment refers to the tendency to pursue new goals when prior stances they face.
goals are unattainable (Wrosch et al. 2003) and has been found
to predict psychological well-being among parents of children
with autism and cancer (Sprangers and Schwartz 1999;
Wrosch et al. 2003). Given that parents of autistic children Method
have to give up many of their dreams to care for their child, the
ability to find new, more realistic pursuits can offer an impor- Participants
tant sense of purpose. Self-compassion has previously been
linked to increased goal reengagement among college students Our selection criterion was that participants needed to be the
(Neely et al. 2009), and we expected to find the same associ- biological parent of a child diagnosed with ASD and be
ation among parents of autistic children. between the ages of 4–12. In total, 51 parents (40 mothers,
We hypothesized that self-compassionate parents would 11 fathers) completed the full battery of survey instruments
also experience fewer negative psychological outcomes. In included in this study. Participants ranged in age from 25 to 54
particular, we expected that they would suffer from less de- (M age of mothers=39.90, SD=6.11; M age of fathers=42.27,
pression, a finding that would be consistent with prior litera- SD=7.47). The sample was 80 % Caucasian, 12 % Hispanic/
ture indicating a strong negative link between self-compassion Latino, 4 % African-American, and 4 % Asian or Native
and psychopathology (MacBeth and Gumley 2012). American. Parents were generally well educated: 29 % had a
Another key goal of this study was to determine if self- graduate or professional degree, 39 % had a bachelor’s degree,
compassion was linked to stress among parents of children 26 % had some college or vocational schooling, and 6 % had a
with autism. Abidin (1995) proposed that parental stress is a high school diploma or GED. Parents were primarily middle
complex construct that represents a combination of parent and to upper-middle class in terms of household income: 45 % of
child characteristics. There are three main types of parental families earned over $100,000 annually, 44 % earned between
stress according to this model, all of which should be nega- $50,000 and $100,000, and only 12 % earned less than
tively associated with self-compassion. One is the parental $50,000 annually.
 Mindfulness

Procedure subscales of the SCS are reverse coded so that higher scores
indicate higher levels of self-compassion. The scale demon-
This study was conducted in conjunction with a research strates convergent validity (e.g., correlates with partner rat-
project that recruited parents of children with ASD through ings), discriminate validity (e.g., no correlation with social
the University of Texas Autism Project (Faso et al. 2013). This desirability), and good test-retest reliability (Neff 2003a; Neff
research was approved by the Institutional Review Board of and Beretvas 2013).
the University of Texas at Austin, and participant informed
consent was obtained. Parents were contacted via e-mail and Life Satisfaction Participants were given the Satisfaction with
given information about the current study and instructions for Life Scale (SWLS; Diener et al. 1985), a five-item self-report
how to complete the questionnaire online using scale that measures an individual’s perceptions of current life
SurveyMonkey. In recognition of the time needed to partici- satisfaction. Using a 7-point scale, parents reported the extent
pate in this study, parents were entered into a raffle for a to which they agreed with each statement (e.g., “If I could live
Kindle. my life over, I would change almost nothing,” with higher
scores equating to higher life satisfaction. High internal con-
Measures sistency has been found in previous studies employing this
measure (Diener et al. 1985).
Autism Symptom Severity ASD symptom severity was
assessed with the Gilliam Autism Rating Scale 2nd edition Hope Hope was assessed using the Adult Hope Scale (Snyder
(Gilliam 2006), a 42-item measure that asks parents to report et al. 1991), a 12-item measure of an individual’s hope for the
on the frequency with which they observe symptoms associ- future. The scale has two four-item subscales—hope path-
ated with autism spectrum disorders. The instrument assesses ways (e.g., “There are lots of ways around any problem”)
the behavioral symptom severity along a spectrum of difficul- and hope agency (e.g., “My past experiences have prepared
ties consistent with the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of me well for my future”). Four filler items are also included in
Mental Disorders (DSM-5; American Psychiatric Association the scale but disregarded for scoring. Responses are given on
2013). The scale uses three subscales to assess distinct groups an 8-point scale where “1=definitely false” and “8=definitely
of symptoms: social interaction, communication, and stereo- true.” Subscale scores were summed, and the average was
typed behaviors. Higher standard scores for each subscale taken to obtain the total hope score used in this study. Previous
equate to more severe symptoms related to autism, and this studies employing this measure have demonstrated good in-
measure has shown high reliability and validity when ternal consistency in similar populations (Lloyd and Hastings
assessing the presence of autism in children (Eaves et al. 2009).
2006). In this study, average symptom severity score was used
to assess total impact of behavior difficulties. Goal Reengagement This study used the reengagement sub-
scale of the Goal Disengagement and Goal Reengagement
Self-Compassion Participants were given the Self- Scale (Wrosch et al. 2003). All items in this six-item subscale
Compassion Scale (SCS; Neff 2003a), a self-reported, 26- are prefaced by the prompt, “If I have to stop pursuing an
item measure with responses ranging from 1 (almost never) important goal in my life, …” then followed by a stem such as
to 5 (almost always). It contains six subscales: self-kindness “I put effort toward other meaningful goals.” Parents indicated
(e.g., I try to be loving toward myself when I’m feeling their response on a 5-point Likert scale ranging from 1 (almost
emotional pain), self-judgment (e.g., I’m disapproving and never true) to 5 (almost always true). The Goal Reengagement
judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies), common Scale has shown strong validity and reliability across numer-
humanity (e.g., When things are going badly for me, I see the ous studies and populations (Wrosch et al. 2003).
difficulties as part of life that everyone goes through), isola-
tion (e.g., When I think about my inadequacies, it tends to Depression To measure the degree of current depressive
make me feel more separate and cut off from the rest of the symptoms, parents completed the Center for Epidemiologic
world), mindfulness (e.g., When I’m feeling down I try to Studies Depression Scale (CES-D; Radloff 1977), a 20-item
approach my feelings with curiosity and openness), and over- self-report scale measuring depressive symptoms experienced
identification (e.g., When I’m feeling down I tend to obsess by the parent in the past week. Parents indicated how often
and fixate on everything that’s wrong). The subscales of the they have felt or behaved in certain ways ranging from “1=
SCS may be examined separately, or else a total self- rarely or none of the time (less than 1 day)” to “4=most of all
compassion score can be used given that a single higher- of the time (5–7 days).” A sample item is “I felt that I could
order factor of “self-compassion” has been found to explain not shake off the blues even with the help of my family or
the intercorrelations between subscales (Neff 2003a). Note friends.” Positively worded items are reversed scored, and
that the self-judgment, isolation, and overidentification higher scores represent more depressive symptoms overall.
Mindfulness

Previous studies have reported good reliability and validity for Table 1 Means, standard deviations, and Cronbach’s alphas for all study
variables
this measure, as well as high internal consistency (Radloff
1977). Variables M SD α

Parenting Stress The Parenting Stress Index-Short Form 1. Symptom severity 27.16 8.05 0.92
(PSI-SF; Abidin 1995) is a 36-item questionnaire designed 2. Self-compassion 3.11 0.75 0.86
to measure the stress an individual feels within a parenting 3. Life satisfaction 4.39 1.38 0.87
role. The PSI-SF consists of three subscales (parental distress, 4. Hope 4.41 0.60 0.87
parent-child dysfunctional interaction, difficult child), each 5. Goal reengagement 3.68 0.84 0.92
containing 12 statements that are rated by parents from 1 6. Depression 1.73 0.52 0.93
(strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree). The parental distress 7. Parental distress 2.85 0.84 0.87
subscale contains items that pertain to feeling incompetent, 8. Relationship dysfunction 2.49 0.68 0.78
restricted, or isolated in one’s role as a parent. Sample items 9. Perceived child difficulty 3.42 0.80 0.88
are “I often have the feeling that I cannot handle things very
well” and “I give up my life to meet my child’s needs.” The
parent-child dysfunctional interaction subscale (referred to as correlations with life satisfaction, hope, and goal reengage-
relationship dysfunction) reflects the nature of parental atti- ment and negative correlations with depression, parental dis-
tudes toward interactions with their child and the degree to tress, relationship dysfunction, and perceived child difficulty.
which the parent feels their child is meeting expectations. Autism symptom severity was significantly linked to depres-
Sample items are “Most times I feel that my child does not sion, parental distress, and relationship dysfunction, but not
like me and does not want to be close to me” and “My child is the three positive outcomes of life satisfaction, hope, or goal
not able to do as much as I expected.” The difficult child reengagement.
subscale (referred to as perceived child difficulty) assesses the In order to determine whether self-compassion predicted
parent’s view of their child’s behaviors, such as defiance or well-being beyond that accounted for by autism symptom
noncompliance, and the demands the parent believes their severity, we conducted a series of regression analyses.
child imposes. Sample items are “There are some things my Standardized residuals were created for each variable after
child does that really bother me a lot” and “My child gets regressing out age and sex in order to control for these factors.
upset over the smallest things.” This scale has demonstrated We then conducted step-wise regressions in which symptom
high internal consistency and moderate test-retest reliability severity was entered in the first step, and self-compassion was
and has been utilized in previous studies examining outcomes entered in the second step (see Table 3). Mirroring what was
for parents of children with autism (e.g., Davis and Carter found for the zero-order correlations, symptom severity sig-
2008; Faso et al. 2013; Kuhn and Carter 2006). nificantly predicted depression, parental distress, and relation-
ship dysfunction, but not life satisfaction, hope, or goal reen-
gagement. When self-compassion was entered in step 2, sig-
nificant additional variance was explained for all outcomes.
Results After adding in self-compassion, moreover, symptom severity
was no longer a significant predictor of depression. Both self-
Table 1 presents the means, standard deviations, and compassion and symptom severity were significant predictors
Cronbach’s alpha for all study variables. Table 2 presents the of parental distress and relationship dysfunction. An exami-
zero-order correlations between variables, including age and nation of their partial correlations revealed that self-
sex. Note that autism symptom severity was not linked to age compassion was a significantly stronger predictor of parental
or sex and that self-compassion was significantly associated distress, while symptom severity and self-compassion did not
with age but not sex. The positive association between self- significantly differ as predictors of relationship dysfunction.
compassion and age replicates findings of previous studies We also examined whether behavioral severity and self-
(Albertson et al. 2014; Neff and Pommier 2013) and suggests compassion interacted when predicting outcomes, and no
that increased self-compassion is one benefit of greater matu- significant interaction effects were found (all ps>0.05).
rity. Also, symptom severity and self-compassion were not
significantly correlated. This suggests that having a more
severely autistic child does not necessarily lead to the lack of Discussion
self-compassion. As expected, higher levels of self-
compassion were associated with greater well-being among This study examined the link between self-compassion and
parents of children with autism. Self-compassion showed well-being among parents of autistic children and found that
significant associations with all outcome variables: positive parents with higher levels of self-compassion were more
 Mindfulness

Table 2 Bivariate correlations for variables (N=51)

Variables 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1. Age –
2. Sex 0.15 –
3. Symptom severity −0.20 −0.03 –
4. Self-compassion 0.34* −0.14 −0.18 –
5. Life satisfaction 0.18 −0.02 −0.17 0.35* –
6. Hope 0.05 −0.05 −0.15 0.45* 0.38** –
7. Goal reengagement 0.22 −0.08 0.14 0.33* 0.13 0.40** –
8. Depression −0.21 0.25 0.29* −0.65** −0.49** −0.51** −0.16 –
9. Parental distress −0.17 0.14 0.37** −0.66** −0.52** −0.35* −0.21 0.70** –
10. Relationship dysfunction −0.16 0.19 0.46** −0.35* −0.35* −0.27 −0.01 0.51** 0.59** –
11. Perceived child difficulty −0.18 0.14 0.25 −0.35* −0.25 0.12 0.10 0.25 0.55** 0.59**

*p≤0.05; **p≤0.01

emotionally resilient than those with lower levels of self- sometimes have to abandon their personal life goals due to
compassion. Self-compassion was associated with greater life the constraints of raising an autistic child. Self-compassion,
satisfaction among participants. The sense of kindness, con- however, provides a safety net when such setbacks occur.
nection, and presence that is inherent in self-compassion When faced with the disappointment of not achieving desired
appears to provide a sense of meaning and fulfillment even goals, the ability to comfort and support oneself appears to
when parents are faced with the challenges of raising an give parents the emotional resources needed to try something
autistic child. Self-compassion generates uplifting emotions new. Taken together, these findings suggest that self-
by extending goodwill toward oneself in the midst of suffer- compassion is a coping resource that can lead to positive gains
ing, and these feelings may extend to one’s life more generally when raising a child with autism (Hastings and Taunt 2002).
(Neff et al. 2007). Results indicated that parents with higher As has been found in previous research, self-compassion
levels of self-compassion were also more hopeful about the had a strong negative association with depression (MacBeth
future. Although parents of autistic children often worry about and Gumley 2012). There are several reasons why this makes
the future and lose hope, the inner support and self-confidence sense, especially within the context of parenting an autistic
engendered by self-compassion appear to help parents have a child. Depression among parents of children with autism is
more optimistic outlook. Also, because self-compassionate often fueled by feelings of shame, self-blame, and grief
individuals are mindfully aware of negative thoughts and (Cappe et al. 2011; Johnson and O’Brien 2013). Enduring
emotions rather than ruminating about them, they may be less the constant judgment of strangers, feeling that one cannot
likely to become absorbed by the dramatic storylines that can “get it right” in terms of making wise treatment choices, and
lead to worry and despair. Similarly, self-compassion predict- experiencing the heartache of an autism diagnosis certainly
ed more goal reengagement among participants. Parents facilitate feelings of depression (Gray 2003; Miller et al. 2012;

Table 3 Standardized regression coefficients for symptom severity (SS) and self-compassion (SC) predicting outcomes (controlling for age and gender)

Outcome Step 1 Step 2

BEH BEH SC
Β R2 B B Δ R2

Life satisfaction −0.14 0.02 −0.10 0.31* 0.09*

Hope −0.15 0.02 0.09 0.45** 0.20**
Goal reengagement 0.20 0.04 0.24 0.32* 0.10*
Depression 0.28* 0.08* 0.21 −0.60** 0.35**
Parental distress 0.36** 0.13** 0.28* −0.61** 0.36**
Relationship dysfunction 0.46** 0.21** 0.43** −0.25* 0.06*
Perceived child difficulty 0.23 0.05 0.20 −0.28* 0.08*

*p≤0.05; **p≤0.01
Mindfulness

Myers et al. 2009). The ability to compassionately accept Another aim of this study was to compare the relative
oneself and one’s life as it is, comfort oneself during trying impact of parents’ levels of self-compassion and the severity
times, and bring kindness and understanding toward oneself of children’s autism symptoms on parental well-being. A large
even in the face of failure helps provide the strength needed to body of research indicates that the intensity of autism symp-
navigate challenges of autism without becoming despondent. toms negatively impacts the stress and mental health of par-
Moreover, self-compassion protects against rumination and ents (e.g., Davis and Carter 2008; Herring et al. 2006;
self-criticism (Neff 2003a)—two factors that are strongly Ingersoll and Hambrick 2011; Lyons et al. 2010). In the
linked to depression (Blatt et al. 1982; Nolen-Hoeksema and current study, we found that symptom severity significantly
Morrow 1993). predicted depression among parents and two aspects of par-
Self-compassionate parents had better outcomes for all enting stress—personal distress and dysfunctional relation-
three types of parenting stress compared to those with lower ship interactions. We found that it did not predict perceptions
levels of self-compassion, confirming the findings of Beer of child behaviors as difficult, however, which may seem
et al. (2013). First, they reported less personal distress than counterintuitive. While the reasons for this finding are unclear,
those lacking self-compassion, meaning they felt more effec- it may be because the difficult child subscale of the parental
tive, less restricted, and less isolated in their role as a parent. stress index focuses more on how bothered parents are by their
Instead of feeling incompetent after making a bad decision, children’s behaviors rather than the difficulty of child behav-
self-compassion allows one to clearly see and acknowledge iors themselves. In fact, a series of studies assessing the PSI-
mistakes without taking them too personally (Leary et al. SF found the difficult child subscale to be the least discrimi-
2007; Neff et al. 2005). The care and support offered by nating in terms of types of parental stress (Zaidman-Zait et al.
self-compassion can help parents feel less overwhelmed and 2010, 2011).
restricted by the challenges of raising an autistic child. And by Results indicated that symptom severity was also a nonsig-
remembering that suffering is a universal human experience, nificant predictor of the positive psychological outcomes of
parents of children with autism feel less cut off from others. life satisfaction, hope, goal reengagement, or self-compassion
Thus, self-compassion offers a powerful buffer against the itself. The tendency for autism symptom severity to be a
personal distress that can arise when parenting an autistic stronger predictor of negative rather than positive outcomes
child. for parents is consistent with prior research (Hastings and
Self-compassionate parents also reported having more Taunt 2002; Hastings et al. 2005; Jones et al. 2014), even
functional relationships with their children, meaning that they though the mechanism driving this association is unclear. The
did not find their interactions as disappointing or emotionally child behaviors captured within autism symptom severity
disconnected. Self-compassionate individuals have been scores (e.g., tantrums and excessive self-stimulation) have
shown to have healthier and more satisfying romantic rela- been shown to relate to shorter-term negative parental adjust-
tionships and are described by their partners as being more ment (Pelham et al. 1998; Stuart and McGrew 2009), whereas
intimate and accepting and less demanding and controlling the positive outcomes assessed in this study may have more
(Neff and Beretvas 2013). It appears that this relational stance trait-like characteristics that are less impacted by autism se-
may extend to the parenting context. Because self- verity. For instance, our measure of depression (i.e., CES-D) is
compassionate people accept themselves as imperfect human an assessment of depressive symptoms expressed in recent
beings, they may be more inclined to accept the limitations of weeks and may fluctuate with recently expressed extreme
others in relationships. And because they are able to meet child behaviors, whereas self-compassion may be more stable
many of their needs for care and connection internally, parents over time. More research will be needed to understand this
may be less dependent on having these needs met by their issue.
children. It should be noted that for every single outcome variable
Finally, we found that self-compassionate parents were less examined except relationship dysfunction, self-compassion
likely to see their child’s behaviors as difficult and problem- was a stronger predictor of parental well-being than the sever-
atic. If parents self-soothe when their children display typical ity of their child’s autism. In other words, the degree of
autistic behaviors such as tantrums, aggression, obsessive- difficulty faced by parents of autistic children does not appear
ness, or inflexibility, maintaining mindful awareness of the to be as important to parental well-being as how parents relate
situation and remembering that challenges are part of life, they to themselves in the midst of those difficulties. It is interesting
are likely to be less bothered and frustrated in response. This to consider why relationship dysfunction appeared to be an
might mean that these behaviors are perceived as less trou- exception to this pattern. Perhaps the factors that largely
bling in and of themselves, a finding supported by previous determine the quality of relationship interactions such as the
research reporting that parenting stress is often the product of child’s tendency to show affection, be aggressive, communi-
an individual’s perceptions of life stressors (Faso et al. 2013; cate, etc. are more directly influenced by child characteristics.
Kashdan et al. 2002). Even so, the study found that parental levels of self-
 Mindfulness

compassion make an equally strong contribution to how sat- stay centered without being overwhelmed, realizing that what-
isfying parents find their relationship with their child to be. ever Rowan’s future held, I loved him exactly as he was” (p.
105).

Limitations and Future Directions

The findings from this study should be viewed in the context

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