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Lily Cann

Dr. Tabitha Clark

ENGW 1111

February 28, 2021

“A Family Man”

Fwoosh

The sound of the golf club and ball meeting in perfect harmony while simultaneously

watching the tee fly from its insertion into the soil drew a big grin from John Abernethy’s face. It

was Labor Day weekend and for once the course was quiet. Not many people were out this early

in the morning with dew still on the ground from the previous evenings shower. However, as the

day went on the club’s crowds got bigger, filled with children running around wearing floaties

tight on their arms and concerned parents running after them tight on their heels. He watched as a

little girl slipped on the glistening, manicured, green grass and proceeded to keep watch as two

little boys came running over, lifting her up and checking for scrapes. On a holiday weekend like

this families were out in the masses and siblings like those reminded him of his three children,

Todd, Jill, and Matty. Another swing cracking against the ball like a whip shot him back into

reality as he exposed a sad smile on his face and turned on his heel, walking back over to the

driving range. He had a busy workday ahead with lessons, tee times, and practice, but his brain

could not help but wonder what his family was doing on this long weekend. He thought, Is Jilly

riding around on her new bike? Did she graduate from training wheels? Did Todd ever finish his

book he would not stop talking about? I wonder that trouble Matty is giving Sonia. Ah Sonia, the

love of my life, I wonder how she is doing having all three kids by herself.
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When asked how he got into the game of golf, John prefaced by saying he was about

fourteen at the time and he and his friends would play the course any chance they got. He said

“We went out and played three holes and then we would go back and go swimming, then before

long we were playing three holes twice, while we could get around before anybody else came

through. And that summer I pretty much got hooked.” When John was this age, he was praised

for his skill level and his ability to play. He was a high school kid who needed a hobby and just

so happened to find something he loved and continued to love for the next 68 years. He thought

back to what seemed like lifetimes ago, “Once I started and thirteen months after I started

playing, I broke par... I shot 69 on a par 70 thirteen months after I started playing and thought for

some reason, I can do this.” He was ambitious and hungered for success which projected him

into his career playing for Duke University’s golf team and winning Player of the Year in 1962.

He was dedicated, hardworking, and boy was he good. After finishing up four years at Duke he

decided to pack up and move to Lancaster, PA with his wife Sonia and continue his golf career

as head pro at Lancaster Country Club.

Fig 1. John and Arnold Palmer in the Johnson City Country Club Exhibition game.

This newfound position allowed John to reach some of the highest highs in his career. “I

had just gotten to Lancaster and I had just been the head pro for a year, and my old club in
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Johnson City decided that they wanted to have an exhibition, and they invited Arnold Palmer to

come, and he accepted... then they reached out to me” sounding almost as if he was puzzled to

this day as to why they asked him to join. But nevertheless, they played the exhibition game,

beginning with Arnold Palmer making a hole in one and ending with a photo shoot that is still

displayed at his home in South Carolina, a memento of his past life (fig.1). This moment was

such a high for John, leaving people baffled that a small-town kid from Johnson City, Tennessee

would get the opportunity that he had. However, the phone calls did not stop. John continued to

receive weekly calls asking if he could be someplace, some time, with some other professional

golfers. Eventually these calls shifted from an exciting opportunity, ecstatic for the chance to get

better, to the sound that served as a reminder of the time he would have to spend away from his

growing family. That small town in Pennsylvania where John got his new job was where they

decided to lay their roots, with one girl and two curly-haired boys later, their family was

complete and picture perfect (fig. 2). However, the picture did not always have John in it.

Fig 2. John, Sonia, and their three children, (L-R) Todd, Matt, and Jill in their home in Lancaster, PA.
In the golf industry when everybody else has time off, golf professionals are the busiest.

When people leave and take family vacations, one of the most common activities to do is play

golf. Whether that’s a round or a lesson, those golf professionals are working; in 2019 total on-

course participation in the sport increased to 24.2 million golfers (Matuszewski). Long weekend
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family trips, summer adventures to the beach, even simply watching your kids become

mesmerized by the sprinkler in the front lawn were all foreign to John. Those little moments in

the hot, summer, sun, created memories and experiences that young kids do not forget. “So, all

of the growing up, what I missed was a lot of holiday activities that the kids would have on the

special days”, John said as his voice dropped a few octaves with the sound of regret filling his

speech. Becoming a father and having to abide by this unusual and uncommon work schedule,

quickly made him realize there were not enough hours in the day to be the family man he wanted

to be and the professional athlete he worked so hard to become.

When John was not home, the kids would spend their days with Sonia; they did not know

that their life was any different from what a “normal family” looked like. When asked about her

father and growing up that way, John’s daughter, Jill, said, “I think when you grow up not

knowing any different, like I never knew everybody else’s dad was home on the weekends... I

just didn’t know” letting out a small laugh after answering the question, a desperate attempt at

making sure she did not sound resentful. As the days went on and the kids slowly started to grow

up, they became aware that their lives looked a little different from their friends and neighbors.

Eventually, they reached a time when they had children of their own and were able to talk to

their father about the way they were raised and why it looked the way it did. They were finally

able to get some answers and reflect on their dad’s decision to continue his career while trying to

balance his work and home life too. After pausing for a little and racking her brain to dig up the

almost lost childhood memories, Jill ended with one more thing to say. She said, “I certainly

never felt like he wasn’t around, because when he was around, he was so present with us...when

he was home, he was 100% home and available for us… we had his full attention,” hinting at
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Jill’s opinion of the way her dad split up his time, with a small nod to commend his attempt at

being as present and fatherly as he could. With no notion that what he did was easy.

When you search “work-life balance” into google, it produces around one billion, six

hundred and ninety million results. Clearly, exemplifying that having a balanced work and home

life is much more difficult than it seems to be. If it was so simple there would not be almost a

quarter of the worlds’ population writing various blog posts, online workshops, and endless

question answer threads. There are a lot of John’s in this world, but not that many who decide to

choose family when they have the ripe chance to continue and add to their success. For the past

forty years, he kept making the same decision; however, this time he did not pick the same road

that he had followed before; he decided to retire as a professional and take on the role of full-

time grandfather, or Poppy. He made the decision to not give into the workaholic culture and

demanding nature of another paycheck. Instead, he chose barbies, nap time, and playing in the

driveway outside. He chose being home on holidays and taking weekend trips to visit his kids,

instead of long days on the course. Although there are still days where he finds himself busy

being a professional again, he still wakes up and chooses family as the most important thing in

his life.

Reference Page
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Cooke, Matthew. “How to Become a PGA Golf Professional: GLT Golf.” Golf University &

College, www.gltgolf.com/golf-blog/golf-business-blog/how-become-pga-golf-

professional.html.

Development, 1-2-1. “2008 Hall of Fame.” 2008 Hall of Fame | Lancaster County Golf

Association, www.lancogolf.com/awards/hall-of-fame/2008-hall-of-fame.

Matt. “What Are the Odds of Becoming a Professional Golfer?” Club and Tee, 16 Dec. 2020,

clubandtee.com/odds-of-becoming-a-professional-golfer/#:~:text=PGA%20Tour

%20player%3A%201%20in,1%20in%20226%20or%200.4%25.

Matuszewski, Erik. “The State Of Golf For 2019 -- An Industry Roundtable.” Forbes, Forbes

Magazine, 1 May 2019, www.forbes.com/sites/erikmatuszewski/2019/05/01/the-state-of-

the-golf-industry-for-2019/?sh=555739065208.

“PGA.org.” Directory, directory.pga.org/member/detail/663011245.

Wagner, John. “How to Become a PGA Teaching Pro.” USA Today, Gannett Satellite

Information Network, 29 Sept. 2020, golftips.golfweek.usatoday.com/become-pga-

teaching-pro-1893.html.