Self Confidence Module
Self Confidence Module
Self Confidence Module
Introduction
Table of Contents
What is self-confidence?
What causes low self-esteem?
Self image
Seeking the approval of others
Exercises in understanding issues around self confidence
Making judgments
Dealing with past hurts
Leaving the past in the past
Going forward
Assignment
2. Emotional Intelligence: How to understand What others are Doing and Thinking
Sources of work
The internet
Networking
Leaflet drop
Seminars
How to organize a seminar that wins you clients
Using PR to get business
Making your website work
Gaining referrals
Advertising - The media and Writing an ad.
Conclusion
8|Page
What is Self-Confidence?
As discussed above, lack of self-confidence could entail dreadful situations wherein the
person may get lost in a world of rampant chaos. Therefore, to wade out of the murky
waters of chaos, an individual must assess why he lacks self-confidence. There are a
number of factors that cause low-esteem in individuals.
Perhaps the most common factor, which is even proven psychologically, is an acute
lack of confidence. Many people are conditioned to believe that they are lacking in
some way or the other from their peers, colleagues, family members and other
societal contacts. Such people tend to seek approval from their compatriots for every
action that they undertake or wish to pursue. They feel that they lack the ability to
make correct judgments on their own; that their way of thinking is, in some ways or
the other, inferior. Many factors contribute to such an erratic behavior. One of the
commonest factors contributing to low self-esteem is outer appearance. The human
mind is conditioned in such a way that it gives utmost preference to outer beauty and
judges others on that basis. This is, however, a dangerous perception, as it contributes
9|Page
majorly to the development of lower self-esteem among people who find themselves
ugly, unattractive or unappealing because of their looks. Such people always draw
comparisons with those who are physically attractive and consequently allow their
self-confidence to sink into abysmal depths.
Self Image
As already discussed briefly in the second topic, “What Causes Low Esteem?” people
who have a negative self-image or a low-esteem make their situations worse by overly
depending on their peers and colleagues for their life’s simplest matters. Such people
are constantly looking to seek the approval from their comrades and family members
for every decision of their lives. This is because of their lack of self-confidence. They
lack the ability to judge their decisions themselves, for they fear that they might err
and wreck havoc in their lives. Such damning pessimism can cause irrational fears that
continue to haunt individuals with low self-confidence throughout their lives.
10 | P a g e
Seeking approval or appraisal from others is nothing but a waste of time, and it stifles
your inner freedom. It leads to negative performance in all spheres of life, whether it is
work, family or personal matters. Persons with lack of self-confidence develop
extreme anxiety and anticipate positive reactions and responses from others, even
when the task you have achieved is below par. On the contrary, you may attract
negative responses on a task that you did flawlessly because your peers could not be
any more jealous of your performance.
Let go of your over-dependent nature, look inward and start believing in yourself.
Socially withdrawn – This important issue must be dealt with if you are suffering from
low self-confidence. If you have alienated yourself from the society, you family, friends
or colleagues, it is very likely that you suffer from low self-confidence. Such a behavior
is largely triggered by a negative attitude, or traumas or even social ostracism. Many
people are forced to become antisocial because they were treated badly by society.
Anxious – Anxiety is the root cause of depression and low self-confidence. As
discussed in the previous topics, anxiety arises because of fearfulness and irrational
anticipations. Most students and working people suffer from anxiety because they fear
for outcome of their performances. This fear inevitably leads to low self-esteem and
low self-confidence.
11 | P a g e
Affected by criticism – Criticism is another major factor that contributes to low self-
confidence among most individuals. Most people are fearful of criticism. They are
overly sensitive easily troubled with harsh criticism. Such people often tend to become
pessimistic and give up faith on their ability to perform well, rather than trying to
improve their mistakes.
Making Judgments
As human beings, we are often judgmental about ourselves and others. We like to
view others in the same light as we see ourselves. Most of us are overly judgmental
about the way others look, talk, behave and eat. We like to project our person likes
and dislikes upon others and judge them accordingly. However, this is a negative trait
that causes low self-esteem among others. We should never merely judge a person
based on appearance or clothing.
We are often confronted with emotional traumas and pains that arise due to a variety
of factors – human and natural. Out of these two, human factors often contribute to
the biggest emotional havocs. Such emotional upheavals may arise due to different
reasons and factors. Maybe you are suffering emotional distress in an abusive
relationship. Maybe you are unable to cope up after a tragic break up with the person
whom you dearly loved. Maybe you have been traumatized by the tragic death of
someone whom you loved. These are just a few of the many factors that can cause
emotional stress and, in some extreme cases, everlasting mental traumas. Those who
survive their traumas become a pale shadow of their actual self.
As difficult as it may sound, the only way to deal with past hurts is moving forward in
the future. Healing takes time, so stay patient and hang on to your life. In most cases,
what seems like a disastrous tragedy may not be as grievous as the person may
imagine it to be. There again, the factor of self-confidence comes in. You should
12 | P a g e
improve your sensitivity and judge things around you with a more positive outlook.
The root cause of all pain is a negative attitude. Letting go of such emotions is the first
step to get over your emotional agonies.
The famous idiom, “Let bygones be bygones” perfectly sums up this topic. However, to
elucidate it further, let us assess why we must leave our past behind. As discussed in
the previous topic, the root cause of emotional pain is negative attitude. It also
highlights the inability to let go of our past. If you have suffered from a tragic personal
loss, or if you have separated from your beloved, you cannot allow yourself to cling on
these events throughout your lives – not until you want to lose your sanity and spend
your entire life in a mental asylum. Whatever happened in your past - whether it was
due to your fault or not - should not be allowed to hang around your neck like an
albatross. It will act as a noose that will tighten every day and eventually bring your
downfall. Getting over past traumas is not easy, but it is not impossible either. There
are people who are leading transformed lives after undergoing incomprehensible pain
and suffering, while there are others who are determined to ruin themselves by
continually living in the past.
Going Forward
Forgetting your troublesome past may not be an easy task, but it must be done in
order to find inner solace. Once you are able to detach from a traumatic event, the
next step is to move forward and seek newer horizons. The people who would matter
the most in this situation are your family members and close friends. Do not alienate
yourself from your loved ones; stay closer to them and share your doubts and
experiences openly. Sometimes just venting out your inner frustrating could act as the
best healing method. Move forward, never to look back, and set new targets for
yourself. You have just one life, and thus you should look forward to make the most of
it.
13 | P a g e
Assignment
Follow the given instructions to develop your self-confidence and get over past hurts
and emotional traumas.
1. Maintain a document where you would note down your 10 positive qualities for self-
assessment. You could either maintain a notebook or use a computer to make such a
list.
2. Now maintain another document where you would note down the 10 negative
qualities that you think that you possess. You should also include negative qualities
that others think you have.
3. After making these lists, read them thoroughly and make a comparative assessment.
Look at the positive qualities list and realize whether you actually possess those traits.
Repeat the same with the negative qualities list.
4. You would now realize where you erred in your judgment of your self-confidence. By
segregating your positive and negative qualities, you would be able to have an in-
depth understanding of your inner nature.
5. Follow this assignment on a monthly basis and maintain a journal of your actions, their
causes and reactions. Maintaining a log of your daily activities would help you gaze
deeper into your real self and blossom your self-confidence.
14 | P a g e
Emotional Intelligence: How to Understand what Others are Doing and Thinking
We all are very cautious about our body image and take innumerable steps to look
better and attractive. We come across many instances in our daily lives when we
develop a fantasy for a super attractive body like a billboard model or a TV celebrity.
Their chiseled looks, shapely figure and attractive skin tone are more than sufficient to
entice anybody. All we want to do is achieve a similar figure and look.
It is important to understand that our body image is directly influenced by our self-
esteem and self-confidence rather than our looks. The way each person views his or
her body depends a lot on internal factors like self-esteem. This results in a positive
and negative body image. A positive body image arises when you feel satisfied with the
way your body looks when you gaze into a mirror. Contrarily, if you are discontent
with your appearance – even when you do not possess any noticeable flaws – you
develop a negative body image that can be eventually wreck your self-confidence.
Generally, none of us is completely content with the way our body looks. We make
unrealistic expectations and try hard to envelop ourselves with a cocoon of pretense.
Then there are some who love their body but are discontent with one or the other
features, like their nose, lips or hands. It is hard to realize the fact that none of us is
born perfect. Nevertheless, this is what makes us truly beautiful and unique.
Women are often pressurized to lose weight in order to attain a svelte figure. This
results in tremendous self-loathing and disdain. Nowadays, women are expected to
have a certain level of cultural and social ideal of beauty. Many times, women will be
expected to look like supermodels or actresses. Such expectations eventually pile up
on the feminine psyche and they begin to push themselves extremely hard in order to
15 | P a g e
achieve the requisite level of bodily perfection. They would hate standing in front of
the mirror until they achieve a runway model look.
Men are not far behind when it comes to self-loathing. The most common perception
of physical beauty among males is that they should have bulging biceps and six-pack
abs. If you are an obese or a skinny man, you will be laughed and mocked. However, if
you are able to sweat out in a gym, 24/7, and develop exaggerated muscles, you will
be hailed as a rockstar. Such erroneous perceptions about physical appearance are
also created by mass culture where everybody would be crazy for a particular trend
and expect others to follow the same.
Your inner critic is your life’s biggest demon. It is an aspect of our inner selves, yet we
are generally unable to control it. No matter what you do, this inner voice would
detest your actions and loathe you for being imperfect. This happens more frequently
when we judge our outer appearances. Even if we have negligible blemishes, our inner
critic would hate it and cause a feeling of self-loathing and hatred. We hear this
ominous inner voice every time we look at our body in the mirror. Sometimes the
criticism would not be extremely negative, but in most cases, it gets exaggerated and
extremely disdainful.
Learn to Ignore Your Inner Critic - The first and foremost step in silencing your inner
critic is learning how to ignore it. You should understand that this voice is an aspect of
your own inner self, and whatever it says is just a projection of how you understand
the world around you. Once you learn how to ignore a distinction between your
outlook and your inner voice, you would be able to silence it completely.
Positive Thinking – The second step in silencing your inner critic is thinking positively.
If your inner voice condemns you for not looking like Brad Pitt or Anjelina Jolie, do not
16 | P a g e
make much fuss about it, as you know that it is not possible. Think positively and
appreciate yourself for the way you look, even if you are not 100% perfect.
Move Forward – Now since you are aware that whatever gibberish your inner critic
used to blabber in your mind was a product of your own aspirations and expectations,
you would be able to assess yourself more comfortably. You would become aware of
your actual aberrations and imperfections; and you would be able to ignore unrealistic
goals that you had set for yourself.
Accepting your strengths and weaknesses is very important if you want to achieve a
positive frame of mind. This can only happen once you are able to discern the actual
strengths and weaknesses that you possess. While making an assessment these
differing traits and imperfections, you should only consider realistic points rather than
judging yourself with the eyes of others. Awareness of your bodily strengths will help
you to develop higher self-esteem. If you are tall, or have a great skin, do not hesitate
in feeling good about it. However, you must not become haughty and conceited.
Contrarily, you should assess the bodily traits that you do not possess and accept them
with a big heart. Acceptance is the best way of attaining a peaceful state of mind.
Self-respect is the mantra for leading a successful and happy life. People who lack self-
respect are often insecure and introverted. They are unable to enjoy life with the same
zeal that a self-respecting person does. If you are uncomfortable with how your body
looks, you will never be able to develop self-respect for you. No matter how intelligent
or learned you may be, if you are unable to cope up with bodily imperfections, you will
find it hard to develop even a single iota of respect for yourself. Here a few methods
that you can use to build self-respect:
Be Honest to Yourself
17 | P a g e
As discussed above, you should groom yourself the way you like, not how others want
you to see. You have to be your own judge. Assess your appearance by taking your
height, skin tone, facial cut and hair in consideration and come up with a look that will
genuinely suit you. Buy clothes that you can carry comfortably.
Accept Criticism
Most of us are extremely sensitive towards criticism. We are constantly anxious about
how others perceive our looks. It is perfectly common to be criticized for a particular
look. After all, everybody has their own tastes and preferences and they view others
according to their individual perceptions. Once you understand this mantra, you would
learn how to accept criticism – even if it is uncalled for, or unjustified.
Introversion and extroversion are two different aspects of human behavior. Nowadays,
psychology and medical science have categorized them in different scales and levels.
These terms were first used by the eminent 20th Century psychologist, Carl Jung, who
used these as scales of understanding different personality traits.
Extroverted people are socially interactive and philanthropic in nature. They like
spending most of their time talking and discussing with people. Whereas introverted
18 | P a g e
people are the polar opposites of extroverted people. They rarely interact with others
and prefer staying indoors.
Emotional Intelligence: How to Understand what others are Doing and Thinking
The science of psychology expounds on the way human beings understand what
others think and do. It is still not a completely understood science, but a general
conception among psychologists is that the human mind is capable of understanding
what others think about them by noticing gestures, behavioral patterns and other
noticeable traits. Studies have hinted at the immense power of body language that can
help us to understand how others think and react.
You can notice a person’s eye language while talking and judge how he must be feeling
while conversing with you. If you notice a bright gleam in their eyes, it means that they
are interested in your conversation. However, if you notice that their eyes are moving
constantly, it means that they are not enjoying your talks.
Similarly, you can notice a person’s body language – hand movements, leg movements
and postures – while talking to make a mental picture of what they might be thinking.
Assignment
Here is a small assignment for you to judge your emotional intelligence quotient. It is
basically a questionnaire that you must answer correctly and make a note of them.
Write down answers as ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.
Read your answers and see how you have fared. If most of your answers are positive, it
means that you have a good emotional intelligence quotient. However, if your answers
are negative, you are not emotionally intelligent. This questionnaire is only the first
step, as it will highlight your inner nature. If you lack self-confidence, write an essay on
the areas where you lack. Prepare another essay and mention your strengths. Make a
comparison of your strengths and weaknesses, and analyze how you can improve your
strengths and diminish your weaknesses.
20 | P a g e
Essentially, the neuro-linguistic system is based on two hypothetical ideas. The first
and the foremost is the presupposition that we as human beings can never truly
fathom reality – whatever that may be. Understanding reality on a macroscopic level is
not only an arduous task, but it is futile and incoherent. We can judge reality based on
our own perceptions, not how others sense it. Perhaps this is the reason why we have
so many schools of philosophy and religion, each with different ideas of what reality is
and how human beings should understand it. However, the neuro-linguistic approach
expounds reality in a more experiential and subjective manner. An individual’s
experience of the world depends on how ably his or her sensory systems project it.
Neuro-linguistic programming thus helps in assessing the neuro-linguistic ‘maps’ of
truth or reality to get a better understanding of the phenomenal world around us.
21 | P a g e
According to this approach, it is not reality that limits or expedites our perception of
the world around us, but rather the neuro-linguistic maps that do so.
This is the possibly the umpteenth time that you have heard about positive thinking
and why it is so important in our lives. Nevertheless, have you ever contemplated on
what positive thinking encompasses? There are always theories – often wild and
tantalizing in nature – concerning positive and negative thinking. Everybody has his or
her own ideas of what positive thinking is. The most clichéd idea is the age old ‘looking
at life’s brighter sides’ theory. Whilst it does sound poetic on paper, it may not always
have an influence on positive thinking. Modern societies have become far more
complicated and technology-savvy than the preceding ones. Along with scientific
advancement came added stress, frustrations and mental upheavals. How in such a
morose scenario can one expect to simply look at life’s brighter side – whether that
exists or not – and expect to become a positive thinker? Thanks to advancements in
psychology and the upsurge of neuro-linguistic programming, positive thinking has
become a reality in the modern world.
22 | P a g e
How it Works
This is the first and most important step of Neuro-linguistic Reframing. It aims at
evaluating your negative thoughts and making you aware of them. For example, when
you are talking to a friend at a party or a public place, and he prefers to check his
phone instead of paying attention, you may very well assume that you are boring and
uninteresting. If this feeling lingers, you may even start believing that your friend does
not care for you, or maybe that he does not take you seriously. This is how negative
thinking arises, and soon assumes ghastly shapes that begin to hurt your self-
confidence.
Once you have concluded a negative thought about why your friend did not pay
attention to your talk, proceed to evaluate the actual possibilities of why that might
have happened. You have to keep your negative emotions aside and judge realistic
reasons as to why your friend was checking his phone while you were telling him
something. It may have been possible that he was checking an important text message
from his mother, his girlfriend, or even his boss while you were talking. Once you
realize this, you would get a revelatory feeling; a neural kick in your brain that will say,
“Why didn’t I think of this earlier?”
23 | P a g e
Thereafter, the final step is using this negative conclusion to reframe your perspective.
Instead of making preposterous assumptions during such situations, take a more
skeptical and multidimensional approach. Do not make quick, negative assumptions;
think of the possible alternatives that could be the probable cause rather than your
foreboding negativity.
Possibly every human being yearns for popularity and fame. We grow up watching
famous film stars and think of emulating them. We start analyzing how they became
national and international heartthrobs. We begin to search for their secrets so that we
can use them and become celebrities ourselves. However, it is not as simple as it
seems. You do not inherit popularity genes from birth; you ought to cultivate them
while growing up.
Here are a few easy steps that will help you to grow popular among your peers,
colleagues and family. If you really want to become a movie star, that is another story
altogether.
This is a truth that you have to take with a pinch of salt. You must realize that no
matter how fascinated you are with a film star or a celebrity, you will do nothing good
by merely emulating them. Think about it: why would anybody care for you if you try
to do something that someone else already does? So, first mantra of becoming
popular is becoming original. Again, this does not have to be forced. Simply try to be
yourself and notice how others react. If you actually maintain sincerity in your
personality, others will pay more attention to you rather than a celebrity copycat.
Forget Popularity
As paradoxical as it may sound, the next big step that you must take in order to
become popular is forgetting that you want to become popular. When you think about
24 | P a g e
it, you will understand how useful this approach is. If you deliberately try to impress
your peers and colleagues, you will do more harm to your popularity than good.
Initially you may strike as an important and respectable person, but once you start
stretching your pretense, people will start taking a repulsive attitude towards you.
Respect Others
Respect is the biggest foundation of popularity. You cannot expect people to hold you
in high esteem when you are not even bothered to talk with them courteously. Many
people commit this common mistake en route to stardom and popularity. People who
treat others with respect are given far more respect in return. Learn how to listen to
others, appreciate who they are, and accept that they are different from you. Once
you have attained this approach, there is no stopping you in becoming popular.
Many people have the habit of talking about sumptuous ideals and principles that they
rarely follow in their lives. This attitude will act as a deterrent in your pursuit for
popularity. If you are a hypocrite who does not practice what he preaches, you are
going to be loathed and avoided. You must obviously possess positive attributes of
humility, honesty and kindness; yet you must not blow them out of proportion by
boasting about them openly. You must silently observe these ideals, and never judge
others according to your moral standards. If you learn how to lead by an example, you
are surely going to get immense popularity.
Thinking and Behaving like a Confident Person Even if you are Not
Even when you follow the aforementioned steps to boost your self-confidence, you
may not become as perfect as you wanted to be. Alternatively, in some other cases,
you may not always feel confident. There are some tricky situations where we are
unable to hide our fears and reluctance, no matter how high our confidence level is.
After all, we are humans and cannot always stay perfect. When you are confronted
25 | P a g e
with odd situations that make you feel fragile and nervous, follow these simple steps
to appear confident and bold.
The biggest morale booster in times of low self-confidence is donning a beautiful outer
appearance. Look in the mirror before you head out for work, or a date, and analyze
your appearance. You may not be feeling mentally confident, but you will feel at ease
if you boost your outer confidence by dressing smartly. Analyze the situation properly.
If you have an important meeting to attend, and you are nervous of your performance,
try to don a simple yet elegant suit that goes with your personality. Dress your hair like
a gentleman and wear a subtle fragrance. Naturally, humans view others highly when
they are better dressed. No matter how tense you may feel from inside, let your outer
shell do the talking.
This becomes a tad cumbersome to deal with when you are suffering from a nervous
wreck, but you ought to try it. While at a public meeting, try to observe people while
they are speaking to you. Notice their body gestures and react accordingly. You do not
need to stare into their eyes constantly; otherwise, they might take you for a creep.
Your observation must be subtle and should give a positive approach to the speaker.
Similarly, when you are speaking with someone, try to notice how well the person
reacts. Just by judging their eye movements and body gestures, you would know
whether they are interested in your conversation or not. Try to take the listener in
confidence by engaging him or her with your gestures and eye contact.
26 | P a g e
You must have heard the idiom, “A healthy mind in a healthy body” on numerous
occasions. Did you ever try to understand what the idiom implies? It means that a
healthy mind can only flourish in a healthy body. Thus, the role of physical fitness in
the development of a healthy body becomes even more important.
Physical fitness is a state of good health and physical conditioning. However, it is more
than just a physical state. It also reflects a healthy state of mind. Thus, it is important
to pay equal emphasis on both mental and physical fitness for achieving an overall fit
body.
The importance of physical fitness cannot be overstated enough. It is obvious that you
need a fit body to perform various physical tasks in your everyday life. If you are a
student, you need to be fit in order to study for long hours. If you are an officer, you
need to have a fit body in order to perform the various tasks at your office throughout
the day. Simply put, physical fitness is a quintessential need in our daily lives. It is as
important as drinking water and eating food. When you are physically fit, you will
seldom fall ill and the chances of terrible diseases like high blood pressure, depression,
diabetes, heart problems etc. will decrease significantly. There are many ways to
improve physical fitness and you may choose any that suits your needs and taste.
Diet
27 | P a g e
The next most important step is following a healthy diet pattern. You may be pumped
up after reading the various health benefits of physical fitness, but you cannot achieve
a healthy body if you choose to ignore the most important element of physical fitness,
i.e. diet. You are what you eat; there is absolutely no doubt about it. Your diet reflects
your level of physical fitness. If you relish junk food excessively and prefer eating pizzas
and hamburgers daily rather than consuming nutritious food, your health is bound to
suffer. Most of us tend to ignore how our body responds to the food that we consume.
We would crib about falling hair, loose skin, sagging eyes etc. but we would rarely
understand that our diet plays a major role in creating these aberrations. How could
you expect your skin to blossom when all you consume every day is pizzas and colas?
Thus, improving your diet is the first step to undertake in your physical fitness regime.
Calming your body is very important for achieving a sound physical and mental state. It
is the next important step to follow in your physical fitness regime. Exercising helps
your body to stay relaxed and calm. It also helps in removing anxiety, which is a
common cause for mental troubles among individuals.
The root cause of anxiety is fear and inactivity. Exercising helps in activating your body
and mind and clears your blocked mental spaces. It also helps in blood circulation and
thus rejuvenates your body. Exercising muscles helps in developing a smooth
functioning of the body. If your anxiety is caused by fear, exercising can still help in
getting rid of it. You can meditate and relax your mind by performing Yoga, which is
the best way of removing anxiety and stress.
There is no specific exercise that can be used to achieve mental and physical calmness.
Some people may find solace in playing sports like football or basketball to relax their
minds, whereas others may prefer to go for long walks, or ride a bicycle to achieve
equipoise. The key point here is to remain active and keep flushing anxiety and other
28 | P a g e
dark emotions constantly. Therefore, no matter how you exercise and which method
you use, you should stick with it if it helps you in achieving mental serenity.
You could undertake a variety of physical and breathing exercises for achieving
physical fitness. You should also understand that breathing exercises are as important
as physical exercises. A combination of both can help you achieve a flawless body and
mind.
In fact, gaining a firm control of your breath is more important than learning how to lift
heavy dumb-bells. Deep breathing exercises should be learned simultaneously to
physical exercises like lifting weights. Once you gain a control of your breath, physical
exercises will become much simpler and effective.
To begin with, you can use the diaphragmatic breathing method. When you are tired
after lifting heavy weights and are grasping for breath, this exercise can be very useful
for you. To counter your tired breathing - which increases your stress considerably –
you could use your diaphragm to calm down your chest. To perform this exercise,
follow these simple steps:
Physical Exercise
29 | P a g e
One of the easiest and most effective methods of physical exercise is aerobics. It helps
in improving the efficiency of the body’s cardiovascular system by boosting the
absorption and transport of oxygen. A simple aerobic exercise could involve activities
walking, cycling, running, trekking and aerobic dance.
Yoga
Yoga is an ancient science of physical and mental fitness. It evolved in the Indian
subcontinent during the ancient era, and it is now being followed by the entire world.
There are many systems of Yoga as devised by Hindu and Buddhist religions. In
Hinduism, one of the most revered systems of Yoga is that of Patanjali who is
attributed with the seminal work Yoga Sutras. Besides this, Hatha Yoga, Laya Yoga,
Raja Yoga and Bhakti Yoga are also very popular traditions of Hindu Yoga. The
Buddhists also have elaborate Yogic methods, depending on their diverse traditions.
During the modern era, Yoga has attained an important spot in physical fitness. In fact,
many doctors, scientists and psychologists constantly rave about the mental and
health benefits of doing Yoga. For expounding the doctrines of Yoga, new centers are
being opened every day, all across the globe. Yoga involves several body postures and
breath control practices that help in attaining equipoise and physical fitness.
Furthermore, it helps in reducing stress and instills positivity in the brain. It is a science
of creating harmony between the body and the mind by incorporating various
breathing methods and body postures.
Zen
Originally called Chan, Zen is a Buddhist tradition that evolved in China during the
medieval era. It is a school of Mahayana Buddhism, which originated and flourished in
India until its downfall in the late 12th-13th Century A.D. The word Chan was derived
from the Sanskrit word ‘Dhyana’, which means ‘contemplation’ or ‘meditation’.
30 | P a g e
Some of the Zen meditation practices involve the observation of breath and mind.
While performing the breath meditation, a practitioner usually sits in a Lotus Posture
and tries to regulate his mind by focusing his attention towards breathing. It is similar
to many Hindu Yoga practices where breathing is an essential aspect for attaining a
meditative trance.
The Soto Zen School teaches the mind meditation wherein no object or content is used
to anchor the meditation. Practitioners are taught how to be aware of their stream of
thoughts and how to allow them to arise without any external interference. This
practice helps the practitioners to gain deeper awareness of their thoughts, which can
be used to gain control over them.
31 | P a g e
Self auditing is a term that is often used by financial organizations to cross examine
their accounts. However, this term has a different meaning in this context. Here, we
are not talking about maintaining your accounts, but on how to audit your behaviors
and traits to achieve success. In simple terms, self auditing refers to an analysis of your
potentials and your weaknesses, your likes and your dislikes and your desires and
aspirations. Thus, self auditing enables you to maintain a balance sheet of your
personal agendas, needs and aspirations.
You must learn how to use self auditing adequately to identify your strengths and
weaknesses. For doing this, you should categorize your qualities according to your
behavioral traits, intelligence and personality. Each individual is blessed with unique
qualities. You should first learn how to categorize your general behavioral traits and
unique traits. Then you should learn how to classify them into positive and negative
categorizes. Take notice of your positive traits, which are your strengths and potentials
and always stay conscious about them.
The next imperative task is to summarize your strengths. You should highlight your
special skills and make a note of how they separate you from the others. These
peculiar traits are often called ‘key strengths’, as they define and classify your biggest
strengths. Once you have classified your key strengths appropriately, improving them
32 | P a g e
is not a big hassle. However, it will require perseverance and dedication to get better
at a particular skill that you already perform well.
What is SWOT
Once you are aware of your strengths, you can devise an amicable strategy to make
their optimal usage for exploiting beneficial opportunities. For example, if you are
seeking a job in the marketing industry, you should first conduct a personal SWOT
analysis to understand your strengths and weakness. If your strengths lie in making
excellent business strategies, you should make optimal use of them and get better
with your skill. Identify the areas where you lack, and the potential threats that you
may have to face because of them. Once you have completed a full-fledged evaluation
of these four key areas, you are ready to face the challenges of the business world.
Poor planning and lack of self-evaluation will not get you your dream job, as employers
are always looking for dynamic individuals who can optimize their abilities and meet
challenges with ease.
You must have often heard your teachers, parents and friends talking about your life’s
purpose and goals. Nine out of ten times, you must have blanked out at the question.
It is a common thing that happens with everybody. As individuals, we are often
confused about the true purpose of our lives and think about our roles in the grand
cosmic scheme. However, we return empty handed whenever we pose such
gargantuan questions. Nevertheless, we can still work at finding the purpose of our
lives by using self-assessment methods like SWOT analysis.
The first step to understand your role and purpose in life is to flush out all false and
incomprehensible purposes and expectations. This is not easy to do, as your mind is
conditioned to think that way. However, you can expedite this process by using a
systematic SWOT analysis. Once you have got rid of all false expectations and
aspirations, it will become much easier for you to understand where you had erred
before. Notice your likes and dislikes, and your inclinations towards a particular
activity. If you are artistically inclined, you may as well pursue art as a career. Similarly,
if you have a penchant for singing, you may hone your skills and try to become a
recording artist. In conclusion, finding the true purpose of life is not as big a fuss as
most people make it. All you need to do is to assess your strengths and inclinations
and find an equivalent purpose that you would truly enjoy pursuing professionally and
individually.
Once you have analyzed your strengths and weakness, you should push yourself for
self-improvement by moving outside your comfort zone. Every individual has his or her
own comfort levels. Nobody likes being pushed out of those zones. However, there will
be times when you will have to break your comfort level and step out in uncharted
territories. That will be the true test of your character.
Individuals who are worried about such probabilities will rarely make successful and
popular figures. Behind every success story, there lie insurmountable risks and
34 | P a g e
compromises. If you have to improve and achieve higher success, you will have to push
out of your comfort zones. Most of us are worried about extra responsibilities and
haphazard situations that may break the control of our lives. That is the challenge that
tests your ability to perform in every situation. If your boss asks you to work overtime
for a few days to complete important assignments, would you refuse it because you
are worried about working for extra hours? If you were a competent employee, you
would accept the duty with added responsibility, and try to excel at it without
worrying about your comfort levels.
Breaking your comfort zone is a necessary risk to achieve success; however, you should
not push yourself too much and cause your own downfall by doing so. There have
been many cases where people suffered from ‘optimal anxiety’ (a state where a
person’s stress levels are extraordinary) by pushing themselves too hard to break their
comfort levels. As the old proverb goes, excess of everything is bad.
Assignment
Follow this self-assessment assignment to evaluate your SWOT and then devise a
practical strategy to find success in life.
Week I
During the first week, you will make a note of your strengths in a notebook or on your
computer. Assess your real strengths and make an unbiased list.
Once you have created a list of your strengths, highlight them in bold by using a
marker, or on your computer by using MS Word or Wordpad.
Now evaluate how successful you have been by utilizing your key strengths. Make a list
of accomplishments that you have had because of your strengths.
Now compare these strengths and their accompanying accomplishments with your
counterparts. Make a note of how well you have surpassed a competitor using similar
key strengths.
35 | P a g e
Make another list and write how others have reacted and benefited through your
strengths.
By following this assessment for the first week, you will be able to analyze you real
strengths and the numerous benefits they have brought you. For the next week,
repeat the same for assessing your weaknesses.
Week II
Jot down your weaknesses and evaluate how badly they have affected your
performance. Then assess how others have suffered through your weaknesses. This
will help you in understanding where you have erred and how you can improve.
Always take external factors in consideration. Evaluate how others see your
weaknesses and write them down. Then write a final assessment of both external and
your personal factors.
Week 3
Make a note of the available opportunities that you can exploit to your advantage.
Keep updated with the technological changes and trends in the global scenario. Use
the internet to educate yourself on new topics and opportunities that are available in
your profession. Jot down some of the opportunities that you would like to explore.
Then question yourself whether you are capable of making maximum use of those
opportunities. By doing so, you will be absolutely clear about goals.
Week IV
During the fourth week, make a new list and jot down the obstacles that you may face
while pursuing an opportunity. These obstacles are generally multifarious in nature.
Hence, you must prepare a thoroughly researched list wherein you would note down
all aspects that can act as a hindrance in your growth. These factors could be
competition, lack of finance, time constraints, rapidly changing technology etc.
36 | P a g e
After following this assignment for four weeks, i.e. a month, you will notice a
significant change in your approach towards life. Your confidence will grow and you
will be able to take on the world with a renewed vigor and zeal.
37 | P a g e
Many people like to believe that they do not judge others. However, this is not
completely true. As human beings, we are often judgmental of others. Every day we
meet new individuals at work, at public meetings or even randomly on streets.
Oftentimes, we make quick judgments about the people whom we meet based on the
initial impression that they leave on us. These impressions usually linger in our minds
for a long time and we are unable to change our perception of the person upon
subsequent meetings.
This is why you should always think of leaving an everlasting impression others upon
your first meeting. Irrespective of whether you are meeting a woman on a date or you
are meeting a new client, you have to ensure that you behave in a way that is
appreciable and impactful. The way you dress, the way you talk and the way you carry
yourself in a conversation tells everything about your character to others.
The biggest obstacle which most of us encounter while meeting new people or while
communicating with friends and professionals is lack of expression. Many of us have
some striking ideas in our heads, but when it comes to expressing them, we fail
miserably. This mostly happens because of lack of self-confidence. Some people get
exceedingly nervous while talking in public, or even with their friends. They may have
something interesting to discuss, but their inability to express their thoughts and
opinions clearly spoils all the fun.
Expressing yourself clearly is very important if you wish to become a successful person.
Most of the successful people were able to conquer newer heights because of their
fantastic ability to express their ideas, opinions and thoughts effectively. No matter
how talented and intelligent you are, if you cannot express yourself clearly, you are
less likely to become popular or successful. These are two sides of the same coin.
Here are a few simple steps that you can take to improve your capability of expression.
Before you attempt to talk, be extremely sure of what you want to talk. You have to be
mentally prepared aware of what you want to discuss with your friends, colleagues or
your boss. If you have to talk at a public gathering, like an office meeting, you must be
well prepared in advance for the discussion. Self-preparedness always helps in
improving self-expression.
Stay Confident
This is what most of us lack while conversing with others. Normally, the fear of
imperfection drives us to the brink of insanity. There is nobody but us to blame for
this. While talking, we do not have to assume the position of a renowned public
orator. Oftentimes we become so obsessed with the way somebody talks that we want
to sound like him or her while talking. Instead of helping us, imitation lowers our self-
confidence because we do not wish to talk originally. To get over this mindset, we
should develop confidence in our ability to talk. Inspiration is all right, imitation is not.
has no information on English literature, you cannot attempt to refer Macbeth and
Othello straight away. You would need to articulate your thoughts in a manner that is
subtle, comprehensible and educating.
If you are still feeling a lack of confidence in your speech, you can practice in front of a
mirror. This is the best way to improve your ability to express confidently. While
practicing, notice your vocal tone, your breathing, pauses and stops to assess your
ability to talk. Do you stammer while pronouncing certain words? Do you take long
pauses between sentences? Make a note of such discrepancies and work on improving
them.
Here are a few methods that can be followed to become an active listener:
Listen Attentively
This is the most basic thing that you should be doing while listening someone talk.
Keep your attention fixated at what the talker is saying. Look at the speaker’s face and
notice how he or she is expressing herself. Do not allow your mind to waver while you
are listening to a conversation. Even if you do not find the conversation interesting, try
to stay attentive and make a mental note of the information that you receive.
40 | P a g e
While hearing others talk, we often get impatient and interrupt their conversation by
putting a query or a counter-question. This is not a recommended habit, as it breaks
the speaker’s concentration and makes it difficult for the listener to judge the
conversation appropriately.
You have to use your body language – head, hands and eyes – to convey the listener
that you are actually listening to him or her. Facial expressions play a big role in active
listening, as they show your genuine interest in a conversation. Nod occasionally
during the conversation to acknowledge a point raised by the speaker. At the end of
the conversation, judge how you well you fared while listening to the speaker.
Many people have a negative habit of being either overly submissive or overly
aggressive. This very common trait has been studied in depth by psychologists, who in
turn have suggested a ‘middle point’. What is the midpoint between submission and
aggression? The answer would be assertion.
What is Assertiveness?
Assertiveness is the middle ground where you are neither too submissive nor too
aggressive. It is a state of equilibrium. Assertiveness allows you to speak your mind
honestly, whilst simultaneously thinking about others’ opinions on your ideas. You
become self-respecting and respect others at the same time. You are neither too
proud of yourself nor do you feel that you lack some quality.
Human beings communicate more with their body language than with their tongues.
Yet, we are often unable to understand others around us because we fail to
understand their body language. The best way to develop this understanding is to
examine how comfortable a person is while talking to you or while performing a task.
The way the person behaves in such situations will help you understand their mental
situation.
If you notice that a person is comfortable while talking to you or others, or while he or
he is performing a task, it suggests a positive body language. How do you judge it? It is
simple. You should notice how that person moves his hands, or uses gestures to
express something. If the person’s legs are relaxed, eyes fixated at the listener and
hands flexible, it clearly suggests that he or she is oozing with self-confidence and
exhibiting a positive body language.
Negative body language is even easier to notice than positive body language. If a
person stammers or pauses for elongated stretches while conversing, it is clear that
they are not feeling confident. You can observe other behavioral traits like the eye
contact, leg and hand movements etc. If you notice that the person is unable to look
directly in the listener’s eye, it may suggest that they are feeling uneasy while talking
42 | P a g e
to you. If the person’s hands are clasped and arms crossed, it is another suggestion of
negative body language. Such a person would also constantly shake his legs as a sign of
nervousness.
Many people who receive compliments for their looks, talent or hard work are unable
to cope with it positively. Such people take compliments for flattery and inflate their
egos eventually. To avoid this, you must be self-judgmental and should indulge in
positive assertion whenever you are praised. Accept that the praise you receive is
because of your good qualities, and you must learn how to be thankful for it. You
should not think very highly of yourself just because someone complimented on your
stunning looks.
Similarly, people must learn to accept criticism with a self-assertive stance. If someone
criticizes you for your looks or lack of a particular skill or trait, do not start a self-
loathing spree. Remember that nobody is perfect and everybody has their own tastes
and likeness, based on which they often judge others. If you lack certain physical
qualities, there is nothing you can do about it because you were born that way. Do not
allow such criticism to create a feeling of dread in your mind.
If you have been rejected by a person, you cannot afford to crib about it for the rest of
your lives. Accept the simple fact that you cannot appease everybody. Each individual
has his or her own impressions about you, and if they chose to reject you on that basis,
you should simply try to move ahead and forget the bitter past. You did nothing
wrong, and there is no point in blaming yourself for it.
With the increased amount of social interaction in today’s Internet age, it has become
all the more important to cultivate a genuine interest in others. This interest should
43 | P a g e
not be fake and preposterous. You have to be extremely honest with yourself and the
person in whom you are interested.
The first thing to observe here is whether you share common interests or not. This is
how you connect with somebody. If both of you are interested in reading, you can
discuss about your favorite literary genres, books and authors to facilitate a genuine
mutual interest among each other. Be yourself and learn how to express yourself
honestly and originally. Pretense and fakeness acts as the biggest obstacle in the
process of genuine mutual interest.
44 | P a g e
Most of us get a feeling of uneasiness and nervousness when we join a new workplace.
This happens especially to fresher’s and people who change their jobs frequently. In
any case, most people lack self-confidence in a professional setting because they are
too fearful of failure. Some of the commonest fears are – missing deadlines, reaching
late to work and creating a negative impression in front of the employer. While these
are genuine concerns, most people start treating themselves so negatively that these
concerns become irrational fears.
You must understand that such a negative behavior will never help you achieve
success in your profession. If you were scolded by your boss for missing a deadline, it
does not mean that you cannot ever submit your work on time. Everybody commits
mistakes, and chastising oneself harshly is never the solution. Learn to accept that you
have the capability to perform well, which is why you got the job in the first place.
When you realize that you are working in an office because of your capabilities, you
will start thinking positively and develop better self-confidence. This positive mindset
will then enable you to perform better and achieve greater success in your field.
The importance of your workplace should never be underestimated. If you believe that
work is worship, then your workplace should become your temple. Thus, you should
understand that you must follow a certain decorum that has been set at your
workplace for everybody. Your workplace culture defines the kind of environment you
work at. The people around you, their ethics, behavioral traits and efficiency define
their workplace culture.
45 | P a g e
When you are at a workplace, you have to follow certain guidelines and behavior
codes. Most workplaces have a specific dressing code. In corporate companies, suits,
shirts, trousers and ties are the norm, whereas a creative environment like an art
studio may not follow such dressing compulsions. No matter where you work, you
have to learn to mould with the workplace environment. It is much more than abiding
a dressing code; it is about accepting and melding with the overall work aesthetic.
Meetings are often the most dreaded events at a workplace. This is another irrational
fear. Meetings do not kill your self-confidence; they help in boosting it. This of course
depends on a person’s mindset. A positively minded person will always look forward to
official and non-official meetings at a workplace, whereas a negatively minded person
will always look for excuses to avoid them completely, or become a silent spectator.
The latter attitude can often become the greatest deterrent in success. Here are a few
simple steps that can help in making a strong impact at meetings
Be Prepared
This is the fundamental aspect of leaving a strong impact in meetings. You have to be
prepared for a meeting well in advance so that you can formulate questions and voice
your valuable opinion in front of others. By doing so, you will exhibit a genuine interest
towards the company’s matters, which in turn will increase your rapport. When you
are informed about a meeting, go home and start researching on the subject.
Formulate questions on the given topic and devise plans and strategies for
improvement.
Reach Timely
This is an obvious step, yet most of us choose to reach late for meetings. Nothing could
be more negative for your rapport than reaching late for a meeting. It is generally
46 | P a g e
recommended to reach at least 5-10 minutes before the meeting is scheduled to start
and interact with others as they arrive. Interactions will boost your confidence, as you
will be better prepared to face everybody at the meeting table. Always carry a notepad
or an electronic tablet to note down the important points that will be discussed in a
meeting.
This could be done simply by using positive body language. While you are overhearing
a discussion or a conversation between others, show that you are genuinely interested
by nodding occasionally and making sounds of agreement. However, you should not
get carried away, as it will create a negative impression.
Discuss Freely
When you feel the urge to raise a point or discuss something, do not hesitate and
speak up. This should be done subtly and suavely. You should not get argumentative
and imposing while discussing. Always stick to your point and present it precisely,
without being a loudmouth.
Provide Feedback
After the meeting is over, look forward to give your honest feedback. This will make
others realize that you were genuinely interested in the discussions and have
something valuable to add. Discuss individually with your boss or a senior professional
and applaud them honestly for their point of views.
Everybody wants to grow at a workplace. There would rarely be a person who would
be content to earn the same salary for more than a year. The bigger question is how to
get a promotion or a pay rise. It is not a very difficult thing; however, it requires
perseverance and honesty from the aspirant.
47 | P a g e
Firstly, your intent for promotion should be genuine. If you have not been performing
well for a specific time period, there is no reason why you should ask for a pay hike or
a promotion. By doing so, you will only leave a negative impression on your employer,
which will hurt your future promotions. Assess your performance over a given period
and judge whether you have performed better than before, and how well you have
contributed to the growth of your company. If you realize that your performance has
indeed been more than satisfactory, you are entitled for a pay rise or a prospective
promotion.
You should also understand that your employer is keeping a constant check of your
performances. Thus, he or she is aware whether your pay should be increased or not,
or whether or not you should be promoted to a higher post. These things are generally
discussed timely with employees so that they know whether they have been
performing up to the expected levels or not. If you have been performing beyond the
expected level, there is no reason why your boss will not offer you a promotion or a
pay hike.
Many a times, we are confronted with frustrating situations at our workplace that
make us dread and sulk abominably. This situation gets worse when we have been
working at the office for a considerable time. Imagine the scenario: You have been an
integral part of a dynamic organization for years; the office’s work ethics, values and
disciple are imbibed in your daily routine. You have been growing steadily, getting
periodic pay rises and promotions. Alas, one day you start dreading the same
workplace that you consider your second home for reasons associated with your
personal growth – or perhaps an emotional backlash. Nevertheless, you have to realize
that your time with the organization is over; you must move on and start afresh.
Some people find it hard to evaluate whether they should really change their jobs and
move ahead. Perhaps they do not want to accept the inevitability of change.
48 | P a g e
Regardless of your approach towards life, when you notice that you are lacking passion
towards your current job, or you are feeling negative vibes at your office, you have to
realize that these are signs that you need a change.
Finding a new job may not be the easiest task for a professional, yet it must be
pursued to explore newer opportunities that are knocking your door. With the aid of
Internet, you can delve deeper into the ever-changing global job scenario and utilize
your skills and experience to find a job and a workplace that suits your interests.
Interviews
For many people, the sheer mention of a job interview can strike indomitable fear in
their hearts. From the naïve neophyte to the most experienced professional, job
interviews are commonly dreaded - albeit for reasons that are generally absurd and
preposterous. The common root for this irrational fear is a general lack of self-
confidence among most people. However, it is not overly difficult to overcome this
fear. Here are a few points that you must keep in your minds before appearing for a
job interview.
Be Thoroughly Prepared
Interviews are not significantly different from exams – both require a certain level of
preparedness to achieve excellent outcomes. Thus, mould your brain a way that it
begins to treat interviews like an annual exam. Thanks to the Internet, you can
download several interview questionnaire templates and practice adequately.
Research the commonest questions that are asked in every job interview. Some
interviewers may throw an oddball at you by asking an unexpected and unrelated
question. You must be well prepared for such questions, as they are used to judge your
mind’s capability to discern difficult situations.
Once you have figured out the most common interview questions, it is time to prepare
for the answers. Read the questions that you noted down and prepare mental
responses. You can also recite the questions loudly and answer them. This will help in
boosting your self-confidence. Prepare your introductory statement – it should be
precise and informative. Avoid the use of verbose language, as it can make you sound
ostentatious.
Groom Yourself
No matter how well you are prepared, you will fail to make a good impression if you
are not properly groomed. An interview outfit is as important as your skills and
experience. You cannot expect an employer to hire you if you look unkempt and
unshaven. Keep aside your best business suit, shirt and trousers for the interview. Do
not forget to polish your shoes. Nothing gives a better first impression than a clean,
chiseled and professional look. If you dress adequately for the interview, your self-
confidence will get an automatic boost and words will flow seamlessly from your
mouth.
Reach Timely
Farsightedness is a useful virtue that can help you achieve professional success. You
must have a solid career plan before you venture out in the job scenario. Most people
fail to prepare their career in advance and thus find innumerable obstacles in their
50 | P a g e
path. You must picture your job prospects and evaluate where you would like to stand
a few years later.
Envisaging a career path demands meticulous planning and sound reasoning. You must
review and assess your goals and aspirations and strategize your future accordingly.
Your vision must be steady and unwavering. You must not allow dire situations to
deter you from your career path. For doing so, your goals and priorities must be
carefully analyzed. Your goals should be realistic and achievable. It is not silly to set
larger goals, but you must not get too carried away.
51 | P a g e
Self-Confidence in Relationships
Relationships define our life’s purpose and make it shine brightly like the stars.
Nevertheless, these bonds are very fragile – one single jolt and everything begins to
fall apart. Once a relationship gets broken due to a misunderstanding or a mutual lack
of interest, it causes an insurmountable amount of mental turmoil and emotional
trauma. Moving beyond may seem like an almost impossible task to some, yet it must
be done.
Self-Forgiveness
First things first, stop blaming yourself for whatever happened between you and ex-
lover. Harboring feelings of guilt will never help you recover from your mental stress; it
will cause further pain and suffering. Even if you were at fault, you cannot afford to
punish yourself for a prolonged time. Learn to forgive yourself and accept the truth
that you are not in that relationship anymore. You should also forgive your former
partner for their errors and shortcomings. Cursing her or yourself is not the solution.
Take a Break
Give yourself some space by taking an elongated break. Do not stretch this break
excessively, as it may harm your personal and professional life. The best thing to do is
to go on a vacation to a picturesque location with your best friends or family members.
Regrouping and re-energizing can have a therapeutic affect on your body and mind.
Once you have emerged out from a pensive, post-break-up stress period, you will soon
discover a rejuvenated self. This will take some time, but it will happen eventually. It
will depend entirely on how positively you handle the situation. If you are able to
follow the aforementioned methods adequately, you will find little to no difficulty in
rejuvenating. You will experience a renewed vigor and zeal, and your entire body
language will change.
Unarguably, the biggest reason for lower self-confidence among partners is lack of
trust and love. You may be dating a woman for a year, but if you are unable to keep
yourself attached to her due to lack of love and trust, it clearly shows that you lack
self-confidence. Alas, this is one of the biggest factors that contribute to premature
and bitter downfalls in relationships. Self-confidence is not just about feeling fearful of
your shortcomings; it is also about mirroring your imperfect projections of love and
trust upon your partner.
53 | P a g e
Your body is connected with your mind in a wonderful way. The way you think, react
and behave has a certain impact on your body. If you behave positively, your body
exudes a positive body language. However, when your mindset is extremely negative,
your body language gets affected severely. This happens a lot after you are confronted
with a broken relationship. You lack self-confidence and your body shows signs of
degradation. It is common for such people to drop their diets dangerously and
approach a reclusive behavior. A negative attitude will always affect your body
adversely.
When you are going through a period of emotional upheaval, you must ensure that
your behavioral changes do not affect your body in negatively. The interconnection of
your identity, your mind and your body works so effectively that even a single
aberration will suffice to break its equilibrium.
Therefore, you must become aware of your behavioral and bodily changes while
braving a relationship breakup. You cannot afford to chastise yourself more than what
you already have. In such cases, you can look for mental and bodily healing to improve
your life’s situation.
In most cases, people find it increasingly difficult to cope up with the stress that they
encounter after experiencing a breakup. They experience a loss of sensation and their
lives come to standstill. For such weak-willed people, even meditation and sports may
not provide an active restitution. How can you cope up with the emotional maelstroms
when you cannot even accept the situation?
54 | P a g e
A common method of doing this is to fake your emotions. It may sound absurd and
preposterous, but for most people, faking their emotions is the best way to move on.
No matter how crushed you must be feeling from within, you can try to keep a fake
smile on your face and move on. If not for you sake, you could try this for the
happiness of others around you. However, this is not as terrible a proposition as it may
seem, as it can eventually help you to overcome your pain eventually.
When you learn to hide your emotions, you may gradually allow yourself to forget
about them. This is a time taking process, but it could be surely tried in case you
cannot do it any other way. Try to appear confident in public, try to mix up with your
friends and family normally, keep your appearance clean and move forward. No
matter how low your self-confidence is, you should try to keep your chin up and face
the world normally. You may seem pretentious to others, but they will eventually
realize the reason why you are trying to suppress your negative emotions.
Depression, anxiety and the Broken Heart Syndrome are a few of the many health-
related dangers of a break-up. It is thus important to take extra care of your body
while coping up with a break-up. Most people either neglect their body or start eating
unhealthy food after a breakup. Both situations are terrible for the mind and body, as
they harm the physical and mental health of a person.
In order to avoid dangerous diseases like the Broken Heart Syndrome and other stress-
related issues, it is important to follow a healthy diet pattern. Give up on oily, junk
food and consume nutritious food rich with proteins and calcium. Improve your
sleeping pattern, as it is very likely that you have developed insomnia due to mental
stress. Sleeping pills are not recommended, as they can have side effects on the body.
It is better to learn meditation, yoga or aerobics to calm your mind and improve your
sleeping pattern.
After following these steps for a few months, you will experience renewed vitality and
self-confidence. That will truly mark the arrival of the Healthy You!
Do not dwell in the past! You will wreck your hard work with such negative thinking.
Believe that you have to begin a new life altogether, and that you are not going to be
alone. Just because a person dumped you, it does not mean that you are going to be
stay single for your entire life. Dump your memories of your past relationship and start
afresh with a new mindset.
Communicating with others after a breakup can be an arduous task. Many people find
it uncomfortable to face their friends, colleagues and family members after
experiencing a traumatic end to their relationships. However, communication is one of
the best – if not the best – method of getting over a breakup. Evidently, it is more
important to communicate with new people, making new friends and exploring new
56 | P a g e
dating opportunities. Here are some dos and don’ts that you should follow while
communicating with people after a break-up:
Dos
Talk with your friends and family and discuss what you are going through.
Take their advice on how to move on.
Become a confident listener and speaker.
Don’ts
Now since you have effectively moved on from your traumatic breakup, it is time to
start planning. Life is all about change, and it should never come to a standstill no
matter how difficult your predicaments may be. However, as you have moved on, you
should not find it difficult to start planning for your future.
Any future planning must be based on your retrospection of the past and the present,
so that you may avoid repeating your mistakes. Question yourself whether you would
like to stay at the same place, or would you want to move out elsewhere to explore
new opportunities. For most people, change in locality, or even city and country, offers
the best solution to explore a completely new world, full with joys and opportunities.
However, if you live in the same area as your family, you may not want to shift
elsewhere. In such a situation, you should stay close to them, as they would act as
your pillars of strength.
57 | P a g e
Assignment
The first few weeks of a breakup are the worst to deal with. Here is an assignment on
how to cope up with an insurmountable amount of mental and physical stress.
One of the most difficult challenges that employers encounter at their workplace is
bonding appropriately with employees. You must have heard the cliché of the grumpy
boss, one who is loathed by every employee for his over-imposing and tyrannical
managerial skills. Nowadays, you cannot afford to don the grumpy boss hat, as it will
lead your company to ruin. With the advent of modern technology and the
development of online social media, work ethics have changed considerably and
pleasantly. Gone are the days when employees used to loathe their bosses for not
being considerate. Today’s successful bosses must learn how to bond with their
employees professionally in order to maintain a healthy and pleasant work scenario.
All across the globe, modern work cultures emphasize on healthy interaction and
discussion among colleagues and employers. Until and unless you get to know your
employees well, you will not be able to optimize their efficiency. However, you must
learn how to draw the line while forging a friendly bond with your employees. You
must maintain a professional distance, and become impartial towards everybody.
Many work places suffer because of favoritism, groupies and partiality. When an
employer starts showering extra attention towards a particular employee for personal
and professional reasons, others are obviously expected to raise their eyebrows and
express disdain. You must remember that a workplace, everybody is equal in the eyes
of the employer. You have to develop an impartial and non-judgmental approach
towards each employee. By doing so, you will assure your employees about their
importance and significance in the organization.
appropriately. When you do not know whom you are selling your product to, you may
not be able to generate enough revenue. In today’s scenario, it is not the producers
that are formulating business strategies; it is the clients who are doing so. Know thy
client, for he is the king!
As most businesses are relying heavily on the internet for boosting their promotion,
marketing and sales, many useful techniques and resources have surfaced during
recent years. The internet itself is the best resource for getting a better knowhow of
your clientele, albeit it must be used smartly and effectively. Here are a few
techniques that you can use for expanding your knowledge of clients.
60 | P a g e
Techniques
Regular Interaction
Interaction is the best way to keep your clients interested in your company. If you
choose to neglect them, you will eventually lose their loyal services. Many companies
take advanced measures to ensure that their clients are satisfied with their services
and products. This involves excessive interaction through the social media. Facebook,
blogs and forums are the best way to interact with your clients and keep them
updated with your new products, offers and services.
You should be well aware of the pain areas of your prospective clients and why should
they approach your company to heal them. Many clients wish to work with a new
company when their issues or problems are left unsolved. They wish to find a dynamic
organization that will address their challenges and needs appropriately. You should
keep these points in mind and evaluate whether your company will be able to resolve
such pain areas of your prospective and current clientele. The core duty of a business
venture should be to help their clients and satisfy their needs.
Adjust to Change
The needs and aspirations of your clients will fluctuate periodically, depending mainly
on the changing market trends. You will have to learn how to adapt to such changes
and offer the best services to you clients so that they do not embrace another
company. You have to keep a constant check of what your competitors are offering in
the market and how well can you compete with them.
Resources
Network Traffic
61 | P a g e
Your network traffic is the amount of visitors that your company’s website and blogs
receive on a daily basis. This is the biggest resource for tapping potential clients. Your
website must offer interesting and informative content to attract new clients. Content
quality plays a major role in marketing your brand and services to the global internet
audience. Make a database of your average network traffic and make the most use of
it.
Lead Generation
Lead generation is an age-old formula that has been revamped with modern
technology to attract prospective clients. It is a very simple way of online promotion
where your website will offer quote request forms to prospective clients. These forms
will be then used to create a healthy database of clients. Many businesses hire
agencies that deal with lead generation. However, if your company is a small start-up,
you can learn this method yourself and download lead generation softwares online.
For your company to be successful, you have to make ample use of social marketing
and promotion. Social marketing in this context implies real social interactions with
clients and other entrepreneurs. Online social media marketing is undoubtedly a
quintessential tool for boosting your business prospects; however, the scope for real
time social interaction has not diminished one bit.
Social interactions will become fruitful only when you exude confidence and panache
in your speech. As an entrepreneur, you must have a compelling personality to attract
clients, employees and even your competitors. Thus, improving your social confidence
is very important for promoting your business efficiently.
The entrepreneurial world has a lot of scope for public interactions such as business
meetings, conventions, seminars etc. Such places are the best avenues to attract
62 | P a g e
positive attention towards your company. Improving your social confidence can pay
you rich dividends at a public business meeting. If you are a confident speaker, others
will surely take notice of your ideas. By leaving a profound impression on your business
counterparts and prospective clientele, you can always forge new business
relationships that will help your company in the long run.
Here a few steps that you can use to improve your self-confidence at work.
Acknowledge Your Staff – You must learn to appreciate and acknowledge hard
working members of your workforce. If you expect them to break their comfort zones,
you must be prepared to reward them in return. This will help you to become more
confident towards your business.
Interact With Your Staff – If you lack self-confidence and feel insecure about your
business plans and strategies, do not hesitate in discussing them with your staff
members. You will make them feel important and get a new perspective on your
approach.
63 | P a g e
Farsightedness
If you want to see your business confidence grow seamlessly, you must adopt a
farsighted approach. Do not limit your possibilities, for you may possibly hamper your
growth. Your beliefs play a vital role in shaping your business plans, so do not limit
yourself and think of new ways that can enhance your business prospects.
Fearlessness
Although every business venture involves risks, you cannot fear from failure and lower
your self-esteem. Life has its ups and downs and you must be ready to face every
challenge that comes your way. Fear of failure will make you vulnerable to various
pitfalls and challenges that should have never arisen in the first place.
Self-Appreciation
previous experiences. Here are a few steps that you should take to train your clients
appropriately.
Expectations – You should be aware of your client’s expectations and take necessary
steps to improve your performance. You should make it intentional for your clients
that you care for their expectations and are striving to reach their expected levels.
Consistent Performance – If you have been getting success with a particular method,
you should stick with it to captivate the interest of your clientele. By using a trusted
process, you will ensure that your clients stick with your company for a long time.
Make a document for the processes that you have used to market your services and
separate the most profitable and attractive ones. Such a document will clarify what
your clients demand from you and how well you have responded to their demands.
65 | P a g e
Sources of Work
Many sources can be used for finding clients. Thankfully, we are blessed with some of
the best technological inventions in the field of business marketing. However, many
conventional sources are still being used to find work. Most successful entrepreneurs
have attested supreme importance to networking – online and offline. Networking is
the biggest source of finding work in the business scenario. Nevertheless, you do not
always have to attend client meetings all the time to achieve this. You can still make
use of other sources, like your former employer, ex-colleagues, social media forums,
family members, and several others for tapping a prospective clientele. The sources, as
mentioned above, are vast and multifaceted; and all you need to do in order to find
your clients is to use the best-suited methods.
The Internet
Moving forward into the 21st Century, the Internet has become an indispensable tool
in all aspects of our lives- whether it is personal, professional or recreational. As such,
the Internet has really provided innumerable opportunities to the common man for
starting lucrative business ventures and earning profitable incomes. During the last
five years, unprecedented amounts of online business ventures have flooded the
global market; most of which are still doing well. Therefore, the online revolution has
paved way for new sources of finding clients.
Social media is inarguably the biggest source for tapping clients. During the last few
years, social media marketing has established itself as a new field altogether, as many
academic institutions have started offering professional courses in the subject. For any
business venture to succeed, it must have a solid social media presence. Facebook,
66 | P a g e
Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest and Blogs are widely used by companies to boost their
marketing and sales. In today’s world, there is no better marketing tool than online
social media marketing. It is free (not when you prefer using ‘paid posts’), and has a
global reach. Thus, business owners can always assimilate a large number of clients
just by using their company’s social media presence strategically. However, it does not
require you to post updates 24x7. You should plan your day and post a few
meaningful, attractive posts that will catch everybody’s attention.
Networking
Besides this, you can also conduct periodic networking events in the real and online
world. The former process has been followed since time immemorial, but the latter is a
much recent invention. By using online audio-video conferencing, you could connect
with many people at once. You could literally create an online board meeting, wherein
you could discuss with new and prospective clients at the same time. This saves an
enormous amount of time, money and energy, and gets your job done too.
Leaflet Drop
Even in this technological age, where everything is being done virtually, we cannot
underestimate the efficiency of conventional marketing methods such as the leaflet
drops. A few decades ago, when we did not have modern computer technology and
broadband, leaflets were considered a smart, cost-effective and efficient method of
67 | P a g e
marketing. In today’s tech savvy world, leaflets have been digitally revamped, with
high quality graphics and printing, to leave a long-lasting impact on prospective clients.
Some of you may argue over the usefulness of leaflets when you can simply use online
newsletters and flyers to promote your company. The latter is obviously a proven cost-
effective and time saving method; however, the former cannot be merely ignored just
because of that reason. Your leaflet must succinctly describe the essence of your
company, so that a client gets attracted to it within a single glance. A perfect leaflet
must encompass the essentialities of your company – your product, quality,
experience, success, worth, customer care, efficiency etc.
Once you have these details ready and a design prepared, all you need to do is to find
an affordable printing contract to create multiple copies of your company’s leaflet.
After that, you simply have to market and distribute it, door-to-door. The benefits of
this method cannot be overstated.
Seminars
Seminars have existed in the business world since a long time. Their unrestrained
popularity in the modern technological world attests to the fact that people still prefer
conventional lectures and discussions on business and marketing subjects.
Using seminars as an effective way to attract prospective clients depends on how well
you plan such an event. Firstly, you should be clear about what you want to discuss in
a seminar. This is important because you will need to book a large hall, a community
center or perhaps an auditorium, depending on the expected footfall and the scope of
your company. You would have to invest a decent amount of money in organizing such
an event, so you must be a 100% sure of your chosen topic(s).
The aforementioned steps were rudimentary methods that must be taken while
planning a seminar. The biggest question that you are going to face next is how to
68 | P a g e
organize a seminar that would actually help you win clients. You can surely throw an
open seminar to attract maximum people, but that may not help if you are focused on
finding ideal clients. Here are a few steps that you should keep in your mind while
chalking out the perfect plan for organizing your seminar.
Topic
As mentioned in the previous topic, choosing an attractive topic is the first step of
organizing a successful seminar. However, since you are focused on attracting new
clients, your topic has to be niche and professional. You could choose a product that
you have recently launched, or an existing product that has already garnered success
in the market. By doing so, you will attract clients who would have already heard of
your company and your product.
Preparation
You should be thoroughly prepared for the seminar’s presentation. The best way to do
this is preparing Power Point presentations of your chosen topic. The presentation
must accurately represent the goals of your seminar and it should demonstrate how
others could benefit by working with your company. You could also prepare an audio-
visual presentation as a guide to your Power Point presentation. Nowadays, most
seminars make use of projectors and large LCD screens to portray their presentations
effectively and sophisticatedly.
The next important step is to plan your lecture and the discussions that will ensue. If
you are not a confident public speaker, you can always hire professionals to do the
talking for you. Oftentimes, entrepreneurs hire professors, lecturers and professional
public speakers for conducting flawless seminars. They know how to connect with the
audience, and can thus win prospective clients for you.
Promotion
69 | P a g e
No matter how well you have planned your seminar, it is likely to fail if you do not plan
a lucrative promotion strategy. You must create a Facebook event page for promoting
the seminar and send ‘invites’ to everybody in your friend-list. If you want to reach out
to people beyond your friend-list, you can hire others to send invites to a larger
audience. Offline promotion is equally important, so you should print leaflets and
flyers for your seminar and distribute them. Newspaper and magazine advertisements
are also an extremely effective way of promoting you event.
You can use different PR tools like advertisements, news coverage and press releases
to gain popularity and avail new business opportunities. Advertising helps a business
venture to get exposure in the mass media and public domain, and helps in building
brand credibility. It is thus considered the most effective PR tool.
Many business ventures hire public relations agencies to spread their name in the
market. Such professionals are dedicated to serve businesses by using their expertise
in media to avail maximum exposure. They also create specially designed, content-rich
websites for companies to increase online traffic and attracting media attention.
An effective website should emphasize on the quality of content and presentation. For
this purpose, entrepreneurs usually hire professional content writers and designers to
market their products and services. A beautifully designed website with poor content
would not solve your purpose. Instead, it would repel those who would visit it.
According to research, more than half of the people do not proceed to buy a product
70 | P a g e
Gaining Referrals
Referrals may not seem important to some entrepreneurs, but if you are a beginner,
with a small business set-up, you may want to look at these important points for
gaining referrals to boost your market presence.
Firstly, you should establish your company’s image as referable. You cannot force
clients to refer you without having a solid background. Even if you manage to do so,
such referrals will probably not work.
You should plan your referrals and offer them to your target clientele. There is no
point wasting referrals on people with no interest in your company or the products
that you offer.
The best way to gain referrals is to create your own referral system. Either you can hire
a professional to do this for you, or you can set up a system yourself online. This is an
easy way of managing your referrals and marketing them to your target clientele.
The role of media and advertising in marketing can hardly be underestimated, as both
of them are interconnected. Many business companies hire professional marketing
and advertising agencies to enhance their public presence online and the real world.
These agencies are the best sources for tapping extensive information of the market,
the changing trends, market research, new sales techniques etc. In short, marketing
offers a complete solution for the growing needs of business marketing.
Writing an Ad
71 | P a g e
With the improved role of social media marketing, advertising has become relatively
easier and more effective than ever before. However, it has also become extremely
crucial for writing effective ads to market products efficiently. This applies to both
online and offline marketing. Here are a few steps that should be followed writing an
ad.
Objective – Your ad should define a clear objective. You can never create a compelling
ad without planning your objective in advance.
Catchy Headlines – Your ad is a method of selling your product, so make sure that it
has catchy headlines and subheadings to attract buyers’ attention. Use simple,
straightforward words and phrases, and avoid verbose language.
Define your Product – Your product will define your brand, so make sure that you
define its essence simply and succinctly in the ad. Identify differentiators, i.e. specific
words, phrases and one-liners that will define your product and services.
Solution – What is that your product aims to do for clients? You must offer a valid
solution in your ad to compel people to purchase it. Be reasonable and do not make
false promises.
72 | P a g e
New entrepreneurs who wish to start new business ventures based on a shoestring
budget often neglect the critical aspect of financial management. No matter how small
or the big your business venture is, if you do not learn how to manage your finances,
you will suffer impeccable losses and setbacks.
With the advent of technology, financial management has become far easier than how
it used to be in the 20th Century. Traditional bookkeeping has been replaced with
computer accounting, and several other new techniques have made financial
management an easier prospect than before. Maintaining records and invoices on the
computer saves time and human effort. Thus, every new entrepreneur should be
prepared to avail these modern facilities.
73 | P a g e
It is heartening to note that such businesses can be started with negligible or zero
cash, and maintained on a shoestring budget. All you require is a smart, clever-like-
the-fox mindset. Many start-ups could be pursued at home, just by using computers
and the internet.
You could start a small, content publishing firm, which could be started with a nominal
budget. All you need is a good Internet connection and a computer. You can then think
of increasing your staff, as you get more clients and more cash. Managing such a
venture is easy; if pursued properly, it can pay rich dividends. Similarly, there are other
Internet based small business ventures like Affiliate Marketing, E-commerce, mail
order, handicrafts etc.
Once you have decided on a niche for your business venture, the next important step
that you must undertake is putting together a profitable business plan. Planning is a
necessary aspect of every activity we wish to pursue in our lives. Whether the activity
is of a financial nature or whether it is simply a hobby, it will not be successful without
a carefully devised plan. It is especially crucial in small business ventures that have not
gained enough exposure, and are vulnerable to pitfalls and setbacks.
74 | P a g e
A business plan is the backbone of every business venture. Its function in a business is
as imperative as the backbone’s function in the human body. Both of them cannot
survive without the backbone. Thus, it is important to understand what a business plan
means and how important it is for running a business successfully.
Making a business plan is similar to writing the storyboard of a film. You have a story in
your head that you want to put down on paper, and then you choose characters,
scenes, situations and the climax. Similarly, a business plan involves a storyboard of
your chosen business niche, how you want to work, services, clients and all other
important aspects.
Making a business plan involves a systematic process that is connected with the
entrepreneur’s vision and ideas. It is simply a physical reconstruction of the plans that
an entrepreneur has envisaged for his business ventures. If you are a new
entrepreneur with zero to little exposure of the business market, do not worry. You
can still make a good business plan by following these core fundamentals.
Business Concept
This is the obvious part. You need to have a concept for starting a business. You cannot
simply make castles in thin air. This is the part where you need to strategize a concept
for the kind of industry you wish to work with. Thereafter, you ought to make a
carefully weaved structure of the type of services or products you wish to offer, and
how you plan to make your business successful.
Marketplace
In this step, you will analyze the market prospects of your chosen business niche. You
have to become aware of your prospective customers, clients and competitors. This
75 | P a g e
will involve thorough research and analysis of the data available in the marketplace.
You should be willing to spend a substantial amount of time on conducting such a
research before jumping in the market place and selling your products.
Financial Factors
As already discussed, finance plays the most important role in any business. This
section of your business plan requires utmost attention. You should have a good
knowledge of accounting and cash flow statements. If not, educate yourself and hire
an able accountant to look after the finance department.
With the advent of technology and the Internet, maintaining financial records has
become a hassle free and time saving prospect. Here are some basic steps that you
must follow to ensure that your finances are precisely recorded.
This is the first and foremost step that you must follow to keep a track of your
company’s financial records. The cash flow statement is a record of the cash inflow
and outflow from a business venture over a certain time period. All cash flow
statements have to adhere to the International Accounting Standard’s prescribed
method.
Many cash flow softwares like Microsoft Excel, Microsoft Office, QuickBooks, and Cash
Flow Statement Pro are available for business use. These softwares are efficient tools
for managing an accurate record of expenditures and incomes.
gains, losses and potentials. Your balance sheet should be regularly updated to
maintain an exhaustive account of your company’s complete financial activities. It will
thus keep you aware of your assets – your finances, furniture, equipments etc and
your liabilities, i.e. the debts and taxes that you have to pay. You can use Microsoft
Excel’s Spreadsheets to prepare and manage your company’s balance sheet. Other
softwares like Banana Accounting, Turbo Cash and iCash can also be used to maintain
digital balance sheets.
Your company’s profit and loss statement will give you a complete picture of your
revenues and losses. This account should be managed separately from your balance
sheet and cash flow statement and it should be updated on a monthly basis. A profit
and loss account will enable you to understand whether your company is earning
profits or not. It will also highlight the areas where you have incurred losses so that
you can understand you errors and pitfalls. Furthermore, it will also help you to
understand which products are making maximum profits and which are incurring
losses.
Storing data on the computer may not seem such a daunting task at first, but it can be
quite problematic if the information is not stored collectively. Make separate folders
for separate records. Your hard drive should have a separate folder for your balance
sheet, cash flow statement, profit and loss account and other important information
like your bank accounts, name of clients, advertisers, credit cards etc. Always back up
your data by maintaining duplicate records. You cannot afford to lose such vital
information in a hard drive crash.
Paying Tax
77 | P a g e
Once you start a small business, you have to become aware of the taxes that you need
to pay. It is the same as paying taxes as an employee. However, in certain cases you
need to pay additional taxes are linked with small business ventures. Here are the
three types of taxes that you have to pay while operating a small business.
Self-Employment Tax
Since you are running your own company now, you need to pay self-employment taxes
like medical care and social security. This tax has to be paid in full, when you file for
you annual tax return. The government has set up different percentages for taxes that
are deducted from independent entrepreneurs’ overall income.
Income Tax
You have to income tax even when you operate a small-scale business. For such
companies, the income tax department has devised a special Schedule C form that
determines the overall profits and losses in a financial year. There are additional
income taxes that are based on the type of company that you run. If you are the owner
of a small corporate firm, you may need to pay additional corporate taxes.
Payroll Tax
You also have to pay taxes for hiring employees. Even if you hire even a single
employee for your company, you will have to look after the social security and medical
care taxes and other state and federal income taxes.
Indemnity Insurance
Conclusion
The aforementioned course modules should be carefully studied and analyzed in order
to achieve a positive frame of mind and self-confidence. These modules deal with
multiple facets of human life and help in alleviating the sufferings and pain that are
caused by low self-esteem, negativity and irrational fears. Whether you are dealing
with a traumatic relationship breakup or trying to start a new business venture, these
eleven Self-Confidence Modules will empower you to take the correct decisions and
transform your woes into joyous celebrations.
79 | P a g e
80 | P a g e