THE MOTHER

IDEAL PARENT
SOMETHING UTTERLY NEW
Once again Nature feels one of her great impulses towards the
creation of something utterly new, something unexpected. And it is to this
impulse that we must answer and obey.6

IDEAL PARENT
(Compiled From The Mother’s Writings)

PART I

Q. Sweet Mother, is it possible for the mother and father to give birth
to... to ask for the soul they want?
A. To ask? For that they must have an occult knowledge which they
don’t usually have. But anyway, what is possible is that instead of doing the
thing like an animal driven by instinct or desire and most of the time without
even wanting it, they do it at will, with an aspiration, putting themselves in a
state of aspiration and almost of prayer, so that the being they are going to
form may be one fit to embody a soul which they can call down to incarnate
in that form. I knew people – not many, this does not often happen, but still I
knew some – who chose special circumstances prepared themselves through
special concentration and meditation and aspiration and sought to bring
down, into the body they were going to form, an exceptional being.
In many countries of old – and even now in certain countries - the
woman who was going to have a child was placed in special conditions of
beauty, harmony, peace and well-being in very harmonious physical
conditions, so that the child could be formed in the best possible conditions.
This is obviously what ought to be done, for it is within the reach of human
possibilities. Human beings are developed enough for this not to be
something quite exceptional. And yet it is quite exceptional, for very few
people think of it, while there are innumerable people who have children
without even wanting to.
That was what I wanted to say.1

TRUE MATERNITY
Maternity is considered as the principle role of woman. But this is true
only so long as we understand what is meant by the word maternity. For to
bring children into the world as rabbits do their young – instinctively,
ignorantly, machine-like, that certainly cannot be called maternity! True
maternity begins with the conscious creation of a being, with the willed
shaping of a soul coming to develop and utilise a new body. The true domain
of women is the spiritual. We forget it but too often.
To bear a child and construct his body almost subconsciously is not
enough. The work really commences when, by the power of thought and
will, we conceive and create a character capable of manifesting an ideal.
And do not say that we have no power for realising such a thing.
Innumerable instances of this very effective power could be brought out as
proofs.
I met several of these instances myself. Among them, I remember
very clearly two little girls; they were twins and perfectly beautiful. But the
most astonishing was how little like their parents they were. They reminded
me of a very famous picture painted by the English artist Reynolds. One day
I made this remark to the mother, who immediately exclaimed: “Indeed, is it
not so? You will be interested to know that while I was expecting these
children, I had, hanging above my bed, a very good reproduction or
Reynolds’ picture. Before going to sleep and as soon as I woke, my last and
first glance was for that picture; and in my heart I hoped: may my children
be like the faces in this picture. You see that I succeeded quite well!” In
truth, she could be proud of her success, and her example is of great utility
for other women.2

THE GLORIOUS WORK

All those who feel that their heart extends further than the limits of
their own person and family, that their thought embraces more than small
personal interests and local conventions, all those, in short, who realize that
they belong not to themselves, or to their family, or even to their country,
but to God who manifests Himself in all countries, through mankind, these,
indeed, know that they must rise and set to work for the sake of humanity,
for the advent of the Dawn.
And in this momentous, endless, many-sided work, what can be the
part of womanhood? It is true that, as soon as great events and works are in
question, the custom is to relegate women to a corner with a smile of
patronizing contempt which means: this is not your business, poor, feeble,
futile creatures… And women, submissive, childlike, lazy perhaps, have
accepted, at least in many countries, this deplorable state of things. I dare to
say that they are wrong. In the life of the future, there shall be no more room
for such division, such disequilibrium between the masculine and the
feminine. The true relation of the two sexes is an equal footing of mutual
help and close collaboration.4

THE SUPREME POSSIBILITY

And here we come back to our starting-point, to our duty of true
maternity. For this form meant to manifest the spiritual force capable of
transforming the earth’s present conditions, this new form, who is to
construct it if not the women?
It is no longer sufficient to form a man similar to the greatest men we
have heard of or known, or even greater, more accomplished and gifted than
they; we must strive to come in touch mentally, by the constant aspiration of
our thought and will, with the supreme possibility which, exceeding all
human measures and features, will give birth to the superman.5

THE FUTURE MAN

First of all we must be careful, in our attempt to conceive the future
man or superman, not to adopt an actual type of man, perfecting or
aggrandizing him. To avoid as much as possible this mistake we should
study the teachings of life’s evolution.7

THE NEW AGE

Therefore, the individuals who will most help the future of humanity
in the new age, will be those who will recognize a spiritual evolution as the
destiny and therefore the great need of the human being, an evolution or
conversion of the present type of humanity into a spiritualised humanity,
even as the animal man has been largely converted into a highly mentalised
humanity. 8

THE NEW RACE

And among these individuals, woman must be the first to realize this
great change, as it is her special task to give birth in this world to the first
specimens of the new race. 9

THE SUPREME REWARD

Thus the individual, no more guided by egoistical motives, laws or
customs, shall abandon all selfish aims. His rule will be perfect
disinterestedness. To act in view of a personal profit, either in this world or
in another beyond, will become an unthinkable impossibility. For each act
will be done in complete, simple, joyful obedience to the divine law which
inspires it, without any seeking for reward or results, as the supreme reward
will be in the very delight of acting under such inspiration, of being
identified in conscience and will with the divine principle within oneself. 10

PART II

TO EDUCATE A CHILD IS TO EDUCATE ONESELF

The education of a human being should begin at birth and continue
throughout his life.
Indeed, if we want this education to have its maximum result, it
should begin even before birth. 11
There are other parents who know that their children must be educated
and who try to do what they can. But very few, even among those who are
most serious and sincere, know that the first thing to do, in order to be able
to educate a child, is to educate oneself, to become conscious and master of
oneself so that one never sets a bad example to one’s child. For it is above
all through example that education becomes effective. To speak good words
and to give wise advice to child has very little effect if one does not oneself
give him an example of what one teaches. Sincerity, honesty,
straightforwardness, courage, disinterestedness, unselfishness, patience,
endurance, perseverance, peace, calm, self-control are all things that are
taught infinitely better by example than by beautiful speeches. Parents, have
a high ideal and always act in accordance with it and you will see that little
by little your child will reflect this ideal in himself and spontaneously
manifest the equalities you would like to see expressed in his nature. Quite
naturally a child has respect and admiration for his parents; unless they are
quite unworthy, they will always appear to their child as demigods whom he
will try to imitate as best he can. 12

IT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO TELL THE TRUTH

With very few exceptions, parents are not aware of the disastrous
influence that their own defects, impulses, weaknesses and lack of
selfcontrol have on their children. If you wish to be respected by a child,
have respect for yourself and be worthy or respect at every moment. Never
be authoritarian, despotic, impatient or illtempered. When your child asks
you a question, do not give him a stupid or silly answer under the pretext
that he cannot understand you. You can always make yourself understood if
you take enough trouble; and in spite of the popular saying that it is not
always good to tell the truth, I affirm that it is always good to tell the truth,
but that the art consists in telling it in such a way as to make it accessible to
the mind of the hearer. In early life, until he is twelve or fourteen, the child’s
mind is hardly open to abstract notions and general ideas. And yet you can
train it to understand these things by using concrete images, symbols or
parables. Up to quite an advanced age and for some who mentally always
remain children, a narrative, a story, a tale well told teach much more than
any number of theoretical explanations.13

EDUCATION OF THE BODY

All education of the body should begin at birth and continue
throughout life. It is never too soon to begin nor too late to continue.
Physical education has three principal aspects: (1) control and
discipline of the functioning of the body, (2) an integral, methodical and
harmonious development of all the parts and movements of the body and (3)
correction of any defects and deformities.14
 As soon as the child is able to make use of his limbs, some time
should be devoted every day to the methodical and regular development of
all the parts of his body. Every day some twenty or thirty minutes, preferably
on waking, if possible, will be enough to ensure the proper functioning and
balanced growth of his muscles while preventing any stiffening of the joints
and of the spine, which occurs much sooner than one thinks.15

GOOD HABIT
It may be said that from the very first days, even the first hours of his
life, the child should undergo the first part of this programme as far as food,
sleep, evacuation, etc. are concerned. If the child, from the very beginning of
his existence, learns good habits, it will save him a good deal of trouble and
inconvenience for the rest of his life; and, besides those who have the
responsibility of caring for him during his first years will find their task very
much easier.16

FOOD
Once must educate the child with care and teach him to distinguish his
desires from his needs. He should be helped to develop a taste for food that
is simple and healthy, substantial and appetising, but free from any useless
complications. In his daily food, all that merely stuffs and causes
complications. In his daily food, all that merely stuffs and causes heaviness
should be avoided, and above all, he must be taught to eat according to his
hunger, neither more nor less, and not to make his meals an occasion to
satisfy his greed or gluttony. From one’s very childhood, one should know
that one eats in order to give strength and health to the body and not to enjoy
the pleasures of the palate. 17

CLEANLINESS
Another thing should be taught to a child from his early years: to
enjoy cleanliness and observe hygienic habits. But in obtaining this
cleanliness and respect for the rules of hygiene from the child, one must take
great care not to instil into him the fear of illness. Fear is the worst
instrument of education and the surest way of attracting what is feared. Yet,
while there should be no fear of illness there should be no inclination for it
either. 18

SLEEP
But in any case a child, whatever his activities, should have a
sufficient number of hours of sleep. The number will vary according to his
age. In the cradle, the baby should sleep longer than he remains awake. The
number of hours of sleep will diminish as the child grows. But until maturity
it should not be less than eight hours, in a quiet, well-ventilated place. The
child should never be made to stay up late for no reason. 19

SCOLDING
Do not scold your child without good reason and only when it is quite
indispensable. A child who is too often scolded gets hardened to rebuke and
no longer attaches much importance to words or severity of tone. And above
all, take good care never to scold him for a fault which you yourself commit.
Children are very keen and clear-sighted observes; they soon find out your
weaknesses and note them without pity.
When a child has done something wrong, see that he confesses it to
your spontaneously and frankly; and when he has confessed, with kindness
and affection make him understand what was wrong in his movement so that
he will not repeat it, but never scold him; a fault confessed must always be
forgiven.20

NOT TO ALLOW ANY FEAR

You should not allow any fear to come between you and your child;
fear is a pernicious means of education: it invariably gives birth to deceit and
lying. 21
 A CHILD SHOULD BE TAUGHT
TO ASPIRE FOR BEAUTY
I have said that from a young age children should be taught to respect
good health, physical strength and balance. The great importance of beauty
must also be emphasised. A young child should aspire for beauty, not for the
sake of pleasing others or winning their admiration, but for the love of
beauty itself; for beauty is the ideal which all physical life must realise.
Every human being has the possibility of establishing harmony among the
different parts of his body and in the various movements of the body in
action.22

MEDICINE
My advice is that medicines should be used unless it is absolutely
impossible to avoid the; and this “absolutely impossible” should be very
strict. 23

CARE OF THE CHILD

The worst of all (which men usually do) is to leave their children with
servants. It is a crime. For these people have an altogether vulgar
consciousness, altogether low, altogether obscure; and quite spontaneously,
without wanting to do so, they let it enter the children. 24

THE ESSENTIAL THING

Essentially, the only thing you should do assiduously is to teach them
to know themselves and choose their own destiny, the path they will follow;
to teach them to look at themselves, understand themselves and to will what
they want to be. 25
To love to learn is the most precious gift that one can make to a child,
to learn always and everywhere. 26
THE MOTHER