Personal Development

Quarter 2 - Module 9

Family Structures and Legacies

Lesson Family Structure

1
What’s New

Activity 1. On a piece of paper, make a list of different family members of your family and write
the roles and responsibilities attached to those members. Then answer the following questions
below.

1. How many members of the family do you have?

2. What is family compose of?

3. Who do you live with?

What is It

FAMILY STRUCTURE

The traditional family structure is considered a family support system that

involves two married individuals providing care and stability for their biological
offspring. However, this two-parent, nuclear family has become less prevalent, and
alternative family forms have become more common. The family is created at birth and
establishes ties across generations. Those generations, the extended family of aunts,
uncles, grandparents, and cousins, can all hold significant emotional and economic
roles for the nuclear family.

Different kinds of family structures:

 Nuclear family: A family unit consisting of at most a father, mother, and
dependent children. It is considered the “traditional” family.
 Extended family: A family consisting of parents and children, along with either
grandparents, grandchildren, aunts or uncles, cousins, etc. In some
circumstances, the extended family comes to live either with or in place of a
member of the nuclear family.
 Stepfamilies: Two families brought together due to divorce, separation, and
remarriage.
 Single parent family: This can be either a father or a mother who is singly
responsible for the raising of a child. The child can be by birth or adoption. They
 may be a single parent by choice or by life circumstances. The other parent may
have been part of the family at one time or not at all.
 Adoptive family: A family where one or more of the children has been adopted.
Any structure of the family may also be an adoptive family.
 Bi-racial or multi-racial family: A family where the parents are members of
different racial identity groups.
 Trans-racial adoptive family: A family where the adopted child is of a different
racial identity group than the parents.
 Blended family: A family that consists of members from two (or more) previous
families.
 Conditionally separated families: A family member is separated from the rest
of the family. This may be due to employment far away; military service;
incarceration; hospitalization. They remain significant members of the family.
 Foster family: A family where one or more of the children is legally a temporary
member of the household. This “temporary” period may be as short as a few days
or as long as the child’s entire childhood.
 Gay or Lesbian family: A family where one or both parents’ sexual orientation is
gay or lesbian. This may be a two-parent family, an adoptive family, a single-
parent family, or an extended family.

 Immigrant family: A family where the parents have immigrated to another

country as adults. Their children may or may not be immigrants. Some family
members may continue to live in the country of origin, but still, be significant
figures in the life of the child.
 Migrant family: A family that moves regularly to places where they have
employment. The most common form of migrant family is farmworkers who
move with the crop seasons. Children may have a relatively stable community of
people who move at the same time - or the family may know no one in each new
setting. Military families may also lead a migrant life, with frequent relocation,
often on short notice.

Sources: https://www.scoe.org/files/ccpc-family-structures.pdf;
https://www.boundless.com/sociology/textbooks/boundless-sociology-
textbook/family-12/family-91/family-structures-521-10352/
 What is It
Genogram

A genogram or family tree is a useful tool to gather information about a

person's family. This visual representation of a family can help us to identify
patterns or themes within families that may be influencing or driving a person's
current behavior.

Symbols for drawing the genogram or family tree:

Female symbol - name, age

Male symbol - name, age

Unknown gender

Married - add the year or ages

De facto relationship - commencement date or ages

Separation - date or ages

Divorce - date or ages

List children in birth order and put names and ages either within the symbol or
underneath.

Death - a small cross in the corner of the symbol (record

date if known)
Dotted circle - this can be used to enclose the members living
together currently, for example, who the young person is living
with.

Conflictual relationship

Very close

Distant relationship

Source: http://www.strongbonds.jss.org.au/workers/families/genograms.html

Sample genogram 1:
Sample genogram 2:

Sample genogram 3:

Source: https://www.genopro.com/genogram/

1.

Lesson Family Legacies

 2
What’s In POEM WRITING

Activity 1: Make two five-line poems about your family. Follow this pattern:

First line is _____ family

Second line is two adjectives (joined by and) which describe the noun
Third line is a verb and an adverb to describe the noun in action
Fourth line begins with like and presents a comparison
Fifth line starts with if only and expresses a wish.

Example: (___ family) Mine family

(adjective + adjective) Unique and chaotic
(verb + adverb) Changing constantly
(like) Like flaming hot Thai dishes, which are quite exotic
(if only) If only we could relive our family life, of jolly years gone
by

(Do not submit Activity 2 to me)

What’s New

Activity 2: EMOTIONAL, SOCIAL AND SPIRITUAL LEGACY

Emotional Legacy Evaluation

Answer each question by writing in your journal the number that best
reflects the legacy you have received from your parents. Then add up your
score.
 1. When you walked into your house, what was your feeling?

1 Dread 4 Stability
2 Tension 5 Calm
3 Chaos 6 Warmth

2. Which word best describes the tone of your home?

1 Hateful 4 Serious
2 Angry 5 Relaxed
3 Sad 6 Fun
3. What was the message of your family
life?
1 You are worthless. 4 You are respected.
2 You are a burden. 5 You are important.
You are the
3 You are okay. 6 greatest.

4. Which word best describes the "fragrance" of your home life?

1 Repulsive 4 Sterile
2 Rotten 5 Fresh
3 Unpleasant 6 Sweet

5. Which was most frequent in your home?

1 An intense fight 4 A strong disagreement
2 The silent treatment 5 A kind word
3 Detached apathy 6 An affectionate hug

Results:
Above 24 = Strong emotional legacy
19 - 24 = Healthy legacy
14 - 18 = Mixed legacy - good and bad elements
10 - 13 = Weak emotional legacy
Below 10 = Damaged emotional legacy

Social Legacy Evaluation

Answer each question by writing in your journal the number that best reflects the
legacy you have received from your parents. Then add up your score.

1. Which words most closely resemble the social tone of your family?

1 Cruel and abusive 4 Non-communicative but stable

2 Cutting sarcasm 5 Secure with open communication
3 Chaotic and distant 6 Loving and fun

2. What was the message of your home life with regard to relationships?
1 "Step on others to get your way."
 2 "Hurt them if they hurt you."
3 "Demand your rights."

3. How were rules set and enforced in your home?

1 Independent of relationship 4 Inconsistently
2 In reaction to parental stress 5 Out of concern for my well-being
3 Dictatorially 6 In the context of a loving relationship

4. Which word best characterizes the tone of communication in your home?

1 Shouting 4 Clear
2 Manipulation 5 Constructive
3 Confusing 6 Courteous

5. How did your family deal with wrong behavior?

1 Subtle reinforcement 4 Severe punishment
2 Accepted in the name of love 5 Discussion
3 Guilt trip 6 Loving, firm discipline

Results:
Above 24 = Strong social legacy
19 - 24 = Healthy legacy
14 - 18 = Mixed legacy good and bad elements

10 - 13 = Weak social legacy

Below 10 = Damaged social legacy

Spiritual Legacy Evaluation

Answer each question by writing in your journal the number that best
reflects the legacy you have received from your parents. Then add up your
score.

1. To what degree were spiritual principles incorporated into daily family life?

1 Never 4 Frequently
2 Rarely 5 Almost always
3 Sometimes 6 Consistently

2. Which word captures the tone of how you learned to view/relate to God?

1 Absent 4 Casual
 2 Adversarial 5 Solemn
3 Fearful 6 Intimate

3. How would you summarize your family's level of participation in spiritual

activities?
1 Nonexistent 4 Regimental
2 Rare 5 Active
3 Occasional 6 Enthusiastic

4. How were spiritual discussions applied in your home?

1 They weren't 4 To teach

2 To control 5 To influence
3 To manipulate 6 To reinforce

5. What was the perspective in your home regarding moral absolutes?

1 If it feels good, do it! 4 Dogmatic legalism

2 There are no absolutes. 5 Moderate conservatism
3 Let your heart guide you. 6 Clear boundaries

Results:

Above 24 = Strong spiritual legacy

19 - 24 = Healthy legacy
14 - 18 = Mixed legacy good and bad elements
10 - 13 = Weak spiritual legacy
Below 10 = Damaged spiritual legacy

Source:http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/building-
relationships/family-legacies/the-legacy-you-want-to-give

What is It

FAMILY LEGACIES

No matter who we are, where we live, or what our goals may be, we all have
one thing in common: a heritage. That is, a social, emotional, and spiritual legacy
passed on from parent to child. Every one of us is passed a heritage, lives out a
heritage, and gives a heritage to our family. It's not an option. Parents always pass to
their children a legacy…good, bad, or some of both.

A spiritual, emotional, and social legacy is like a three-stranded cord.

Individually, each strand cannot hold much weight. But wrapped together, they are
strong. That's why passing on a positive, affirming legacy is so important and why a
negative legacy can be so destructive. The good news is that you can decide to pass a
positive legacy on to your children whether you received one or not.

Today, if we don't intentionally pass a legacy consistent with our beliefs to our
children, our culture will pass along its own, often leading to a negative end. It is
important to remember that passing on a spiritual, emotional, and social legacy is a
process, not an event. As parents, we are responsible for the process. God is
responsible for the product.

The Emotional Legacy

In order to prosper, our children need an enduring sense of security and stability
nurtured in an environment of safety and love.

The Social Legacy

To really succeed in life, our children need to learn more than management
techniques, accounting, reading, writing, and geometry. They need to learn the fine art
of relating to people. If they learn how to relate well to others, they'll have an edge in
the game of life.

The Spiritual Legacy

The Spiritual Legacy is overlooked by many, but that's a mistake. As spiritual
beings, we adopt attitudes and beliefs about spiritual matters from one source or
another. As parents, we need to take the initiative and present our faith to our children.

The Emotional Legacy

Sadly, many of us struggle to overcome a negative emotional legacy that
hinders our ability to cope with the inevitable struggles of life. But imagine yourself
giving warm family memories to your child. You can create an atmosphere that
provides a child's fragile spirit with the nourishment and support needed for healthy
emotional growth. It will require time and consistency to develop a sense of emotional
wholeness, but the rewards are great.
A strong emotional legacy:

 Provides a safe environment in which deep emotional roots can grow.

 Fosters confidence through stability.
 Conveys a tone of trusting support.
 Nurtures a strong sense of positive identity.
 Create a “resting place” for the soul.
 Demonstrates unconditional love.

Which characteristics would you like to build into the legacy you pass along to
your children? Even if you don't hit the exact mark, setting up the right target is an
important first step.

The Social Legacy

In order to prosper, our children need to gain the insights and social skills
necessary to cultivate healthy, stable relationships. As children mature, they must learn
to relate to family members, teachers, peers and friends. Eventually they must learn to
relate to coworkers and many other types of people such as salespeople, bankers,
mechanics and bosses.

Nowhere can appropriate social interaction and relationships be

demonstrated more effectively than in the home. At home you learned and your
children will learn lessons about respect, courtesy, love and involvement. Our
modeling as parents plays a key role in passing on a strong social legacy. Key building
blocks of children's social legacy include:

• Respect, beginning with themselves and working out to other people.

• Responsibility, fostered by respect for themselves that is cultivated by assigning
children duties within the family making them accountable for their actions, and
giving them room to make wrong choices once in a while.
• Unconditional love and acceptance by their parents, combined with conditional
acceptance when the parents discipline for bad behavior or actions.
• The setting of social boundaries concerning how to relate to God, authority, peers,
the environment and siblings.
• Rules that are given within a loving relationship

The Spiritual Legacy

Parents who successfully pass along a spiritual legacy to their children model
and reinforce the unseen realities of the godly life. We must recognize that passing a
spiritual legacy means more than encouraging our children to attend church, as
important as that is. The church is there to support parents in raising their children but
it cannot do the raising; only parents can.

The same principle applies to spiritual matters. Parents are primary in spiritual
upbringing, not secondary. This is especially true when considering that children,
particularly young children, perceive God the way they perceive their parents. If their
parents are loving, affirming, forgiving and yet strong in what they believe, children will
think of God that way. He is someone who cares, who is principled and who loves them
above all else.

The Legacy You Want to Give

We all have good and bad parts to the legacy we have inherited. The key is to
move forward from here. For some, taking a closer look at the legacy they've been
given helps them assess the legacy they want to pass on. After considering your past,
here are some practical tips for the future:

Decide what you'll keep:

You probably have things you received that are wonderful and need to be kept
and passed on. Other things may need to be thrown out. Or, perhaps you have a weak
legacy that needs strengthening.

Whatever you received, you can now intentionally pass along the good. This
isn't always easy. If you saw hypocrisy in your parents' lives, you may be tempted to
throw everything out even though much of what your parents modeled was good.
Don't. That would be like burning down the house to get rid of some bugs.
 Realize that there is a being who can redeem even the "bad stuff" in your
legacy. Unfortunately many of us have parts of our legacy that are weak or even awful.
Maybe one of your parents was an alcoholic or abusive or didn't provide the nurturing
you needed. In today's society, the stories of such families are common. You may be
asking, "How do I give something I didn't receive? Nobody modeled this stuff for me."

Hope is not lost. Consider the story of Josiah from the Old Testament in the
Bible. His father and grandfather were involved in many wicked things, including idol
worship that threatened the entire nation. But after 8-year-old Josiah became king of
Judah, he reversed that trend. He sought God and purged Judah of idols, repaired the
temple and saved a nation.

Like Josiah, you can choose which things in your legacy are no good and throw
them away. It's important to break the cycle of hurt by leaving bad things behind and
creating a new legacy. Legacies are not easily broken and always benefit from His
guidance.

Chart a new course as you begin a positive legacy for yourself and those you
love. Research suggests that most fathers will parent the way they were parented. That
means only a minority of fathers will change their parenting style even if their
parenting is wrong! Today, you can take positive steps to design a new heritage for
yourself and your family.

Source:http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/building
relationships/family-legacies/family-legacies-passing-on-a-legacy

Do not submit Activity 3!

Activity 3: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?

How do you feel about your relationships? Where do you see your relationships going?
Are you happy with your relationships? Copy this questionnaire in your Journal. Put a
if your answer is YES and write X if your answer is NO.

I. Overall feelings about the relationship:

Criteria/ Relationship FAMILY FRIENDS PARTNER ORGANIZA-
TIONS

Are you getting your needs met?

Are you speaking up and asking for what you
want?
Are you feeling heard?
II. The decision-making process:
Are decisions made to your satisfaction?
Is there sufficient time to discuss, assess, and
process?
Do you feel as though your thoughts and feelings
are taken seriously?
Is there a collaborative spirit about decision?
III. Communication:
Do you feel safe to stay whatever you feel?
Do you feel listened to when you communicate?
Do you feel encouraged to tell your truth?
Do you feel supported in all your dreams and
goals?
IV. Roles and Responsibilities
Do you feel the division of tasks is working?
Do you feel that both of you are doing your
parts?
Do you feel task allocation is fair?
Is there anything you want to change?
V. Activities
Do you feel like you spend enough time
together?
Do you feel like you need more alone time?
Do you want to try something new?
VI. Planning, schedules, and logistics:
Are you experiencing any schedule conflicts you
want to address?
Are there financial agreements that are fair?
Do each of you have enough time to accomplish
everything you want?

In which relationship do you have more checks? More Xs? What can you do to
improve your relationships?

Summary

Nuclear family: Children raised by both their biological parents

Single parent family: Children raised by one parent

Adoptive family: Parents and their adopted children

Extended family: A family in which relatives, in addition, to parents and children live
in a single household.

Blended family: A family that consists of members from two (or more) previous
families.

Stepfamilies: Two families brought together due to divorce, separation, and

remarriage.

Bi-racial or multi-racial family: A family where the parents are members of

different racial identity groups.

Trans-racial adoptive family: A family where the adopted child is of a different

racial identity group than the parents

Conditionally separated families: A family member is separated from the rest of

the family.

Foster family: A family where one or more of the children is legally a temporary
member of the household.

Gay or Lesbian family: A family where one or both parents’ sexual orientation is
gay or lesbian.

Immigrant family: A family where the parents have immigrated to another country
as adults.

Migrant family: A family that moves regularly to places where they have
employment.

Genogram: Graphical map of family’s history.