Experience

THE LIVED EXPERIENCE

ADHD and Spirituality

WE’D LOVE TO SPARK A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE SPIRITUAL SIDE
of living with ADHD. At this reflective and hopeful time of year, we begin with
some personal experiences submitted by readers. Please share your stories with us
and continue the discussion, whatever your faith, religious tradition, or practice.

QUIET TIME there was a connection between my distract-

Steve Gundy ed thoughts during my prayer time and my
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Be- ADHD diagnosis. The more I got to know
fore that diagnosis, I believed that God was how ADHD showed up in my life, the more
not happy with me. I kept falling short of all I started trying different things to help me
I thought God required of me despite my focus. During that process I discovered that
best efforts to please him. I judged myself for writing my prayers in a journal and then read-
that, beating myself up for a long time. My ing the prayers out loud created the focus and
experience was private suffering in a hopeless energy I needed for my prayer time. In fact,
situation. I was convinced that I was alone I started applying journaling to my experience
and on my own. in church when my pastor delivered his ser-
My church trained me to know what mon. Instead of my mind wandering, it was
I believe and why I believed it. Specifically, engaged when I journaled my thoughts.
the spiritual disciplines were a big deal. Dis- Instead of looking for quiet places,
ciplines like Bible study and prayer were I started playing with stimulating experi-
packaged up and delivered in a generic, stan- ences that made my time with God come
dardized form known as “quiet time.” Quiet alive. That ignited my passion for an ongo-
time was the method used for connecting ing conversation with God that goes any-
intimately with God. where my creative mind is going, especially
But then, quiet time collided with reality. when I’m journaling. Now, I’m acting more
It went something like this. consistently with the way God made me.
Here I am in a quiet room ready to start I know I’m not alone!
praying. My mind starts racing. Now, I’m
thinking about what I have to get done. DEALING WITH PRAYER
What time is that meeting today? Wait a DISTRACTION
minute, where is my prayer list? Oh yeah, A CHADD member
I never made a prayer list. It’s my pen I’m look- ADHD is a two-edged sword when it comes
ing for. Hey, you are supposed to be praying! to prayer.
What was I supposed to be praying about? When I am in a more formal and struc-
I found it excruciating trying to focus tured prayer environment, my ADHD can
in a quiet place. Prayer was an experience be a problem. During Mass and the hom-
of constant ping-ponging everywhere in ily I can be easily distracted. My eyes are
my mind only to realize I had not prayed the big problem. Oh there is Rob… we
about anything I intended when I started. ought to go to brunch after Mass. I see birds
I thought, “God, if you are here, then I flying by the church window—whoa, that
must be on the other side of the universe!” is a pretty bird outside. I don’t see any al-
I was not connecting intimately with God. tar servers from where I am sitting. Are
I thought over and over about my dis- the servers there? Does the priest need
tracted thoughts during my prayer time. I help? I see the hymnal and start to think,
asked, “What’s wrong with me?” Over time, on what page is the next hymn? This
I concluded I was broken. There was no way can go on during the entire service.
I could have an intimate connection with My solution is to reduce the
God and that negativity affected my percep- stimuli. I close my eyes, not to appear
THINKSTOCK

tion of myself. to be holy or pious, but just to cut

My perspective changed the day I realized back on the other senses and focus

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 on my hearing sense. I find when I do that mysteries is the Agony in the Garden. When My daughter was first on line to sign up as a
I can concentrate on what is happening just someone is praying this mystery he says ten server as soon as she reached that milestone.
through the words that I hear, and my mind Hail Marys and simultaneously meditates on In high school, some of the young adults help
does not wander off so frequently. It’s not a the event of the agony. What was Jesus think- with the readings for the little ones and some
perfect solution, but it helps. ing? What was he praying about? What were serve as greeters; others can leave a little early
On the other hand, ADHD can be helpful the Apostles doing? One part of the brain is if they volunteer to help set up for the after
in meditative prayer. One particular form of saying the Hail Mary while the other half of service hospitality.
meditative prayer is called lectio divinia. This the brain is in meditation. I think that this is It helps to find a church that is understand-
is a form of prayer going back to at least the the perfect type of prayer for someone with ing of all children’s needs, but especially those
second century AD. You read the Bible, and ADHD because both halves of the brain are who may find church services a “penance.”
when a particular word or phrase catches occupied with activity, leaving little or no
your attention, you stop reading and reflect room for distractions. OPPOSITIONALITY IN THE PEW
on what you have just read. This can take a Try it, you might like it. A CHADD member
moment or much longer. The idea is to be We attended church every Sunday as a
open to the leadings of the Holy Spirit to AN UNDERSTANDING CHURCH family. My daughter has difficulty regulat-
teach you. For person with ADHD, this comes A CHADD member ing her moods and my son has academic
naturally and is one of those few times that we Parents of children with ADHD really enjoy struggles. Situations that required sitting still
are actually encouraged to let our minds won- the best, most relaxed time at church when and listening for a long period of time was
der. For a person who does not have ADD, this the kindergartners through fifth graders a huge challenge for both of them, albeit for
type of prayer is much more difficult because leave for their own children’s readings. You different reasons.
they are focused on the next word or thought can almost hear a sigh of relief that, at least As part of the service, congregants extend
and not inclined to stop and wonder. for the readings and homily, the parents are a sign of peace to nearby pewmates. For fam-
Catholics pray the rosary. To many it able to pay attention to something other ily and close friends, warm hugs and quick
seems like just a repetitive prayer droning than wiggly little ones. kisses are exchanged. For acquaintances and
on and on, but the rosary is really a series of Boredom with sitting quietly for a whole others nearby, it is usually a handshake and
meditations. There are four series of myster- hour really sets in when the children hit sixth the words, “Peace be with you.” The atmo-
ies on which to meditate, one of which is grade. Fortunately, at my church, sixth grad- sphere is one of peace and good will.
the Sorrowful Mysteries. The first of these ers are eligible to be altar servers and ushers. Going along with the program can be dif-

32 Attention
 go with the parts my insurance covered
or send her to her best friend’s counselor.
Eventually, my daughter became inter-
ested in a youth group at a nearby church.
Her life and her spiritual journey jigged and
jagged. Now that she is a young adult, I have
faith that she will find what works for her.

SLOW PREACHING
Steve Peer
When I was growing up, my minister was a
slow talker—slower than the typical 110 to
150 words per minute. The trouble is that
most of us can process language at three
to five times that speed. What would I do
with all that leftover processing capacity? Of
course, my mind would wander away from
ficult for an eleven-year-old girl who is prone her mother and this was beyond disrespectful. the topic.
to oppositionality. This atmosphere of con- I would love to tell you I handled this This is the reason some podcasts also of-
geniality often put my daughter in a stormy situation expertly. But I didn’t. I cried on fer a double-speed version, by the way. With
mood. One time after the sign of peace, when the way home and then called my sister to the brain more fully engaged, comprehension
the congregation becomes quiet and solemn, I vent. But I really handled it pretty ineffec- actually increases.
leaned over to ask her to stop making a repeti- tively. It was lost on me at that time that this Back at church, no such podcast was avail-
tive noise with her shoe. In the loudest stage was a symptom of a bigger problem. And able. So I’d always have a Bible in hand. Hav-
whisper I’ve ever heard, she said, “Shut up!” big problems call for complex solutions. ing visual redundancy of the spoken sermon
I was horrified! My mother’s friend from the If I could re-do my daughter’s childhood, allowed me to engage two senses. And if I did
THINKSTOCK

choir was sitting behind us, the entire church I really would really listen when experts wander, it was usually by reading ahead, so
had just wished each other peace... plus, I’m say multimodal treatment, and not just I remained connected to the topic. ● A

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