Memento Mori March/April 2021
Memento Mori March/April 2021
Memento Mori March/April 2021
The
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Changes at the FTC
A Transgender Funeral
A Personal Grief Journey
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AS SEEN IN:
22 26
No Clergy? No Problem!
‘Kidding’ Around
Consider a Celebrant for Your
Four-Legged
Secular Families’ Needs
Ecological
by Glenda Stansbury
Preservation
of the Historic
Congressional
Cemetery
by Susan Cushing
30
When Transgender People Die
The Struggle to Receive the Honor
36
It Is Not Length of Life,
They Deserve But Depth of Life
by Marc Markell A Personal Journey of Grief
and the Building of a Legacy
by Nadira Baddeliyanage
40
Don’t Let the ‘Automated’
SEO Genie Out of the Bottle
The Good, the Bad, and the
Questionable Tactics
in Deathcare
by Welton Hong
44
Pandemics That
48
Prose for the Quietus of Life
Changed History Crossing Over
Man’s Nomadic Instinct by Author Unknown
Causes Death and
Despair
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Y
OU HAVE TO LOVE AN ARTICLE that includes, “at the time of writing this The other major change announced Jan-
article.” If you read that at any time, you have to expect some changes. In the last uary 21, 2021, was the naming of Rebecca
issue, those words were in the article that explained why the question, “When Slaughter to serve as acting FTC chair.
will the FTC make a determination on the Funeral Rule?” was really a question of “Who There are many who believe her current
will be at the FTC to make a determination on the Funeral Rule?” We then described the position will become permanent, making
makeup of the FTC; how commissioners could be appointed; and listed the current slate of her the chairperson of the FTC, and also
commissioners because it is the commissioners who will decide the fate of the Funeral Rule. placing a Democratic appointment at the
head of the FTC.
The FTC, as of December, consisted of Another change in the commission was It is worth noting that, like Chopra,
3 Republicans and 2 Democrats. This past the appointment of Rohit Chopra to serve Slaughter also made a written statement
commission was all appointed by President as director of the Consumer Financial Pro- as to her belief of the current state of the
Trump. Under a new White House admin- tection Bureau (CFPB). This is not a com- Funeral Rule. In her statement, she wrote,
istration, under democratic control, what pletely new position for Chopra, as he once “My fervent hope is that the Commission,
changes have already been made? served as assistant director in 2011. You with the help of commenters, will endeavor
Within weeks of taking office, changes to may recall that Chopra wrote a statement to update the Rule so that it continues to
the FTC have been made and are notice- regarding the request for comments on the fulfill its purpose of protecting uniquely
able. In January, Joseph Simons announced Funeral Rule, just prior to comment period. vulnerable consumers in their time of
that he would be resigning from the His comments were very strong and in greatest need. I particularly look forward
commission, effective January 29. Simons, favor of reopening the Funeral Rule and to comments that highlight any gaps in
one of the Republican commissioners, was include his statement in regard to viola- existing protections and how we might best
appointed in 2018, and served as chairman. tors of the Funeral Rule as “The FTC also close them.”
His resignation was among many other res- withholds the names of these lawbreak-
ignations of senior staff at the FTC. (A total ing funeral homes from the public when What’s Next?
of 8 others, mostly individuals appointed announcing the results of funeral home The Biden administration will now replace
by Simons, also announced their departure. inspections, a privilege that no other indus- two commissioners, both of which will
The positions included general counsel of try under FTC jurisdiction enjoys.” Chopra be Democratic (remember the FTC can
FTC as well as many directors. These posi- will most likely continue to serve on the have no more than three of any one party)
tions will be re-appointed under the new FTC until confirmed by the Senate for his switching the majority from a 3–2 Repub-
acting chair.) new role with CFPB. lican commission to a 3–2 Democrat
commission. So, what are the new FTC’s
FTC Commissioners, December 2020
priorities?
Joseph J. Simons (Chairman) Republican 05/01/2018–09/25/2024 It’s up in the air; however, there are
Christine S. Wilson Republican 09/25/2018–09/25/2025 speculations on topics that may rise to the
Noah Joshua Phillips Republican 05/02/2018–09/25/2023 top. Many are speculating that big tech,
Rebecca Kelly Slaughter Democrat 05/02/2018–09/25/2022
social media, and artificial intelligence used
in consumer data and targeted advertising
Rohit Chopra Democrat 05/02/2018–09/25/2019
are high on the list. The FTC has made no
Changes made under the Biden Administration mistake that it wants to be more vigilant
Rebecca Kelly Slaughter (Acting Chair) Democrat 05/02/2018–09/25/2022 in cases that involve consumer data and
Christine S. Wilson Republican 09/25/2018–09/25/2025 privacy issues.
In fact, during the past year, FTC
Noah Joshua Phillips Republican 05/02/2018–09/25/2023
launched huge antitrust cases against
Joseph J. Simons Republican Stepping Down, Jan 29, 2021 companies like Facebook, and reports were
Rohit Chopra Democrat Proposed to move to CFPB made that the FTC would have to tighten its
Spark! Spark!
coordinator. He also serves on the
Government and Legal Affairs
Committee. Poul is an attorney
and a funeral director/embalmer Four Generations of Caring for
with degrees from the Cincinnati College of
Mortuary Science and the Northern Kentucky Generations to Come
University Chase College of Law. He is a licensed
funeral director/embalmer in Ohio and West
Virginia and is admitted to practice law in Ohio,
262.367.9991
Kentucky, and Virginia. As principal of Lemasters
Consulting, a deathcare consulting company, www.TributeInc.com
Poul Lemasters offers ICCFA members in good 262.367.9991
standing a free one-hour consultation relating to
cremation; in addition, members are entitled to a www.TributeInc.com
free GPL review to check for Funeral Rule
compliance Four Generations of [email protected]
for Generations to Come
MARCH
ICCFA Ad 2021 BW.indd 1 | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI9:19:507AM
1/28/2021
THE MAKING of a PROFESSION PART 3 of 5
Being of Service:
A Commitment to the Profession
Part three of a five-part series on what makes a funeral professional, professional
by Todd W. Van Beck, CFuE
T
HE FOLLOWING EVALUATIVE CRITERIA are the micro-categories that make profession), most importantly the presence
up the substance of a profession in addition to the main ingredient: love for the of a philosophy of education that centers its
mission of what you are doing. See if any of the following points resonate with you ethical standard on the ancient idea of “edu-
in your life and career in our beloved profession. Determine how many of these points cation simply for the sake of education.”
apply to you and funeral service. Put a check by the ones that apply to your own experience. Funeral service might not be at an
academic level of requiring a master’s or
a doctorate degree, but the expectation
The time of the member is not his still applicable to this very day, that there of equating exclusive higher-level aca-
or her own. is wisdom in having a veteran in the skill demic degrees as the primary benchmark
How could anyone make a convincing teaching the novice, the intern, the student, in creating a profession possesses serious
argument that the average, normal, typical the funeral apprentice the lessons learned drawbacks.*
funeral professional’s time is his or her from years of actually performing the skill— For example, I was on a seminar pro-
own? It almost borders on the ridiculous to whatever that skill might be. gram with another speaker some years
try! It seems that if just this criterion were Given this approach to establishing back. When I was introduced to “Dr. Smith,”
the sole qualifier of funeral service being the professionalism of our beloved pro- he looked down at me with his reading
a profession, certainly the ancient debate fession, the case can eloquently be made glasses perched on the tip of his nose. He
would be over. that funeral service along with numerous looked around for other people to talk to. In
his speech, he claimed perfection, scolded
the audience, and made a grand pitch for
the sale of his books and tapes. After his
Certainly one doesn’t have to search very far or wide to speech was over, I tried to congratulate
see the consequences that are created by rogue members him on his efforts, just to be cordial. I was
rebuffed, and “Dr. Smith” left the room. His
of our profession who are not professional in the least by business card read: Dr. Joseph Smith, PhD,
their actions in violating this basic set of well-enunciated M.A., M.S., B.A., B.S., CHFU, D.PSYCH.
D.H.L. Impressive, wouldn’t you think?
values; and usually there are consequences.
Members possess skills and
knowledge that are unique and
Members honor the apprentice/ other professions, such as medicine, clergy, special.
mentor learning system. education, pharmacy, law, and even weld- It seems safe to claim that the “average”
If you and I were alive in the Middle Ages ing, have a well-established system of the American or even the “average” world cit-
and our parents were peasants, we would mentor/apprenticeship path to professional izen does not know where the Right Com-
also be peasants, unless some tradesman credibility. mon Carotid is located, let alone be able
such as a blacksmith, cobbler, or miller, to incise and elevate that particular vessel
hired us and taught us the skills neces- There is an identifiable process of
sary to do the job and do it well. Does this education. *A few years ago, DOL decided that funeral
ancient system of learning a profession not This one is easy. The process of education directors can be categorized as “professionals,”
sound familiar to you and me in funeral does not spell out the length of the edu- therefore exempting them from receiving overtime
service? cational procession or identify the precise if the state law where they are practicing requires
The mentor/apprentice system has never academic degrees that must be obtained. four years of post-high school education. This
said anything about classroom learning, This professional criteria only states that can include one or two-years of mortuary science
online learning, or receiving an academic there needs to be an identifiable process of school but must amount to a total of four years
degree. What it does teach is the lesson, education (which is clearly present in our altogether.
I discovered when I was a young identity with other funeral professionals Members possess a life-long
funeral professional that the stories I continues to be enhanced to this day dedication and involvement in a
listened to from veteran funeral pro- by the opportunity to tell and listen to worthy mission.
fessionals were a thousand times more funeral stories with some of the very Funeral professionals are involved in service
instructive than anything I learned in funeral professionals with whom I went to humanity; this is the core foundation of
mortuary college. My sense of mutual to mortuary college. our profession. All service professions have
one supreme and inviolate mission; and that
mission is to help other people. This is the
mission of all professions from the time the
first human being became of service to help
another human being.
Even before there were medical colleges,
or medical licenses, the medical profession’s
mission was summed up in the ancient Hip-
pocratic Oath, which clearly states: “First,
do no harm.”
Funeral service qualifies with high marks
as a profession simply because of our dedi-
cation and devotion to our mission, which
is to help alleviate the misery and suffering
of humanity when death enters life. This
type of service mission is not totally contin-
gent on advanced academic degrees, or in
the approval or disapproval of others—we
can’t be all things to all people.
The proof of a successful service mission
is the simple response of other human
beings to the services being furnished; and
funeral professionals receive high marks
in providing answers to people’s myriad
questions when death enters their lives. The
mission of problem-solving is contingent
on the character of the individual funeral
professional and that person’s interest in
and attention to other human beings; it is as
simple as that.
However, some people in funeral service
just don’t get this vision of mission. They
don’t love funeral service, but they have
the credentials. A lack of love of mission
in funeral service, or medicine, or law, or
pharmacy, or education might well be one
of the cardinal reasons that state boards
were created.
Let us keep in mind that professionals
are attracted to mission-centered work.
Based on this definition, a worker in a
fast-food establishment who has genuine
(267) 535 - 1490 or (267) 348 - 5059 love of fast food and a mission in life to be
www.northeastmausoleum.com of service to people who are hungry is as
@ J% 1inll @�
Cemetery Visitor
Mapping Finance
Operations Experience
T
HE ROAD TO WOMAN SUFFRAGE WAS LONG , but as feminist historian To celebrate her life, Harriot commis-
Susan Ware stresses, it was also wide. In education, in marriage, in professional sioned sculptor Edmonia Lewis to create a
life, in politics, and in racial justice, that road encompassed women’s rights beyond life-sized statue in marble of the Goddess
the vote. Some activists expanded their work to include rights of women and men of color. of Health, Hygeia, for her lot at Mount
Many women from Boston who labored for these rights in the 19th and early 20th centuries Auburn. Lewis delivered the statue in 1872;
are buried at Mount Auburn Cemetery. Their monuments dot the landscape, and their Harriot died three years later. On Harriot’s
stories report the struggles, losses, and eventual successes of their activism. monument nearby is written:
Harriot Kezia Hunt daughter of Joab
Two who spent their lives in the over- Harriot Kezia Hunt
and Kezia Hunt Nov, 9, 1805 Jan 2, 1875
lapping struggle for woman’s rights and Harriot Kezia Hunt was born into a nurtur-
Aged 69 years For forty years a Physi-
racial justice were Harriot Kezia Hunt ing and supportive family of modest means
cian in Boston She has done what she
(1805–1875), Lot 2630 Poplar Avenue, and in Boston’s North End. She began practicing
could.
Josephine St. Pierre Ruffin (1842–1924), medicine at an early age, in 1835, making
Lot 4960 Indian Ridge Path. Between them, her a first for women in medicine in Amer- Harriot published her autobiography,
their lives spanned a century of activism, ica. Her approach, according to recent med- Glances and Glimpses, in 1856. More than
each an agitator until the day she died. ical articles, was “exceedingly contempo- a 160 years later, historian Myra C. Glenn
Both were native to New England. Both rary,” stressing good nutrition, exercise, and wrote a much-deserved biography of Har-
were intelligent, inspirational, dynamic hygiene. She listened to women’s stories of riot: Dr. Harriot Kezia Hunt: 19th Century
pioneers in the battle for equality. Both their “heart histories” and then prescribed Physician and Woman’s Rights Advocate.
were chroniclers of the battle, sharing treatment based on that knowledge.
their public roles and private lives in their She twice petitioned to attend lectures at Josephine St. Pierre Ruffin
much-read works. Both were allied with Harvard Medical School and was rejected Josephine St. Pierre Ruffin was born into an
other women who were also engaged because of her sex, but she was rewarded affluent mixed-race family. Her mother was
in the movement, many of whom are with an honorary degree of Doctor of Medi- English and white; her father came from
buried at Mount Auburn, such as Julia cine from the Female Medical College in Martinique, a prosperous clothes dealer and
Ward Howe (1819–1910), Lot 4987 Philadelphia. She was an important figure a founder of a Boston Zion Church.
Spruce Avenue, and Ednah Dow Cheney in Boston on three fronts: as a woman in Josephine knew segregation early: as a
(1814–1904), remembered in a cenotaph medicine; as a powerhouse in the aboli- young child, she was unable to enroll in a
on Lot 953 Fir Avenue. Both were revered tion and suffrage movements; and as an Boston Public School because of her race.
and honored, celebrated in their day and organizer of the first New England Woman’s She married George Lewis Ruffin, also
remembered in ours. Rights Convention in 1850 in Worcester. from an affluent black Boston family. The
Harriot Kezia Hunt Josephine St. Pierre Ruffin Julia Ward Howe Ednah Dow Cheney
Ruffins were prominent among the ranks of New England Women’s Club, founded Authentic and Inspirational
Boston abolitionists, taking an early role in in 1868 (she joined in 1890). Shortly Mount Auburn Cemetery is “a place of
recruiting for the Massachusetts 54th and thereafter, she started The Woman’s Era, comfort and inspiration for the living and
55th Colored Volunteer Regiments during the first newspaper for African American a natural setting to commemorate the
the Civil War. women to be published by an African dead.” These remarkable women, buried
The road to Black women’s rights and American. Then she founded the Wom- here, transformed the lives of others in the
equality, like the woman suffrage movement an’s Era Club to support Black women in process of transforming their own. They
itself, was long and wide, encompassing society. lived authentically and inspiringly, lifting up
the Black woman’s right to vote and raising With the help of her daughter, Florida a vision that would make this world a better
awareness of her competence. Josephine Ruffin Ridley, the indefatigable Josephine and fairer place. It is fitting for us to honor
Ruffin’s name was widely connected to convened the National Federation of them with our words and to follow with our
19th-century efforts to bring this about. Afro-Am Club Women; and in 1910, she deeds.
She was many times a “first.” She was became a charter member of the Boston Reprinted with permission. Courtesy of Mount
the first Black woman to be invited to the Chapter of the NAACP. Auburn Cemetery.
MARCH
EAS_WILD_promo.indd 1 | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI
2/1/21 13
11:08 PM
AFTER THE FUNERAL
T
HE MEN WHO DESIGNED AND BUILT AMERICA’S MOTORIZED VEHICLE
were, in many cases, talented bicycle builders, garage mechanics, and inventors.
Yet, when it came to improving the durability, the range, comfort, and efficiency
of automobiles, a legion of futurists, industrialists, chemists, and engineers—some
Harvard-trained—stepped forward. Their ideas were considered “genius” for their time.
Their inventions laid the foundation for continuing traditions of improvement; and their
philanthropies in their communities, our nation, and in many countries around the world
continue contributing to the health and quality of life enjoyed by millions.
HARVEY C. FRUEHAUF
• Born: December 15, 1893, in Roseville,
MI
to General Motors in 1919. Their slogan, • Died: October 14, 1968, Detroit, MI
“Bodies by Fisher,” was stamped on the • Best Known As: The son of August
rocker panel below the door of each vehicle. Fruehauf, founder of Fruehauf Trailer
• Final Disposition: Entombed at Holy Company.
Sepulchre Cemetery mausoleum in Harvey Fruehauf transformed his
Southfield, MI, in a private family room. father’s blacksmith shop into the largest
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ALEXANDER WINTON
• Born: June 20, 1860, in the United
Kingdom
• Died: June 21, 1932, Cleveland, OH
• Best Known As: One of the most famous
men in the automobile industry and one
of the first automobile manufacturers
who built and sold his first car in 1895.
Beginning as a bicycle, automobile, and
diesel engine designer and inventor, Alexan-
der Winton was an early automobile racer.
He went on to found the Winton Motor
Carriage Company, famous for the large, The Winton Engine Corporation became
white Winton 6. Over his career, he worked a subsidiary of General Motors in 1930. In
to improve the appearance of the so-called his lifetime, Winton registered more than
“gasoline buggies” and he perfected through 100 patents. After a two-week illness, he
his inventions a longer-term storage battery. died in his home in Cleveland. He was sur-
vived by his fourth wife, seven children, and
12 grandchildren. He was 73.
• Final Disposition: Interred at Lake View
Cemetery, Cleveland, OH.
Serving the Funeral Service Industry throughout the United States & Canada since 1880.
‘Kidding ’
Aro u nd
shing
by Susan Cu
Four-Legged Ecological
Preservation of the Historic
Congressional Cemetery
After Goats
MARCH
SHUTTERSTOCK / LUCIANO COSMO | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI 23
‘KIDDING AROUND’
It can be hard to wrap one’s head around numbers as large as these. But when you boil it
all down, it simply speaks to the fact that more funeral directors put their faith in us to get
their funerals funded than anyone else. Why? Because, as large as we are, we take each
funeral personally, putting our clients’ bereaved families’ needs ahead of our own. And
we come through for them every time. The way we look at it, when you’re based in a town
called Rainbow City, you better be in the business of making wonderful things happen.
& You
CJF.com | 800.785.0003 | 200 Market Way, Rainbow City, AL 35906
No Clergy?
No Problem. by Glenda Stansbury
Even during services, we get those questions. After a Getting the Word Out
funeral, someone will ask, “So, where are you a pastor?” “Can I The best way for the public to truly understand the role of the
attend your church?” Funeral Celebrant is through intentional marketing and infor-
It is so hard to shake centuries of tradition in the under- mational pieces. Word of mouth is great, but by the time the
taking profession—deeply embedded beliefs and history of a funeral ends and the buffet line begins, they will have forgot-
funeral only being presided over by a member of the clergy. ten the word “Celebrant.”
When I explain that I am a Funeral Celebrant—a profes- Many funeral arrangers have become quite adept and
sional who is called to work and walk with the family to create skilled at explaining a Celebrant during the conference. One of
a customized and personalized funeral experience—they look my favorite funeral directors in my city tells families:
puzzled. For those who attended the service, they loved what
A minister will provide a religious service and add information
they saw. But they struggle with equating that experience with
about your loved one, hopefully. A Celebrant will tell your
what they believe to be the traditional funeral.
loved one’s story and add religious elements if you want them.
The next question usually is, “Can I have your card? I want
my funeral to look just like this.” They still are not sure what it But the problem is, many families don’t know about this
is, but they know they liked it. option until the need arises; by then, they’ve already made
Consider a
Celebrant
for
Your Secul
a
Families’ N r
eeds
MARCH
SHUTTERSTOCK / VADIM GEORGIEV MARCH | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI 27
| APRIL 2021 MEMENTO
NO CLERGY? NO PROBLEM!
some sort of arrangements—maybe a churchgoing This is part of our ShareLife philosophy. Our
cousin from Arkansas volunteers to provide the service; ShareLife philosophy is evident in how we interact with
maybe a family friend has offered to handle it; maybe families during the arrangement conference. We seek
the rent-a-pastor seen on the billboard beside the out the tidbits of facts about the deceased so we can
highway gets the call. None of these is going to give the help tell the story. If you have visited any of our locations
families the service they want or need. in The Villages in the past five or six years, I am sure you
Robert Roche, an InSight Institute Certified have noticed our ShareLife wall. This is just a part of our
Celebrant, has created a wonderful platform. He is a ShareLife philosophy and is unique to our company.
funeral director at Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services in The During the arrangement conference, we try to learn
Villages in Florida. This is a popular snowbird area that as much about the loved one as we can. Then we try
also serves as home to many year-round residents, and and prepare the chapel to highlight those unique traits,
it boasts an extremely high cremation rate. likes, hobbies.
Many of these families For those who feel there is more that can be done to tell
are not interested in services the story, we have another tool we can use to tell the story.
Let that little light shine and because family and friends are That is using one of our Certified Funeral Celebrants.
back home. Many have long What is a Certified Funeral Celebrant? A Celebrant
tell everyone that you have ago left the church traditions is someone who gathers pertinent information about
of their younger years. Many the loved one and their family and crafts a service that is
something unique, special, and are tired of going to funeral unique to that individual. The Celebrant will arrange a
meaningful to offer them. after funeral and experiencing meeting with the family and ask questions and seek out
the same service. personal information so they can tell the story. The Cel-
Hiers-Baxley runs a ebrant will intertwine the stories with special songs that
monthly ad and a full-page article in The Villages are the backdrop of the unique life story they are creating.
magazine that goes to all the residents. Robert used that Does a Celebrant Service take the place of a religious
opportunity to explain the Celebrant concept and offer service? A religious service is done to reflect the faith
it as a viable alternative to “just cremate me.” In a lim- of the loved one. While a Celebrant Service reflects the
ited amount of space, he packed in a lot of information. life of the loved one. A Celebrant Service could be used
Below is Robert’s article. at a viewing or memorial gathering while the religious
service might take place at the loved one’s church.
Telling the Story The Celebrant Service usually includes storytelling,
by Robert T. Roche, CFSP secular music, and invites guests to share life stories. In
There are those who feel, if you’ve seen one funeral, today’s society, our neighbors, friends and co-workers
you’ve seen them all. In past generations, the local may not feel comfortable attending a religious service
funeral home had the standard maroon carpeting with that is not of the same faith as they are. If people are
the maroon heavy drapery behind the casket. An organ spiritual, but not religious, that is a perfect case for
or sound system played the old hymns our grandparents using a Certified Celebrant.
would sing at Sunday church services. At least that was If you have Celebrants available on your staff or
what my father and grandfather’s funeral home was like. in your community, do not hide it. Let that little light
There were folding chairs lining the walls to give shine and tell everyone that you have something
ample room for groups of family and friends to con- unique, special, and meaningful to offer them. Don’t let
gregate and converse. There was always a viewing from families be in the dark. It will make such a difference to
7:00 PM to 9:00 PM, followed the next morning with your families, your community, and your firm.
a service at church and a trip to the cemetery. Well,
things are different these days. People have strayed Glenda Stansbury has been the marketing and development
director for InSight Books for 24 years and dean and training
from the old standard. It was all cookie-cutter back
coordinator for InSight Institute for 20 years. Along with Doug
then. Cremation was rarely done. Memorial services,
Manning, Glenda has co-trained more than 4,000 Funeral
what are they? Celebrants across North America. She is a certified Funeral
Yes, today things are different. We at Hiers-Baxley Celebrant, a licensed funeral director/embalmer, a certified
Funeral Services have realized this fact and have strived funeral service professional, and a full-time instructor with
over the years to tell the story. We each have a unique the Department of Funeral Service, University of Central
story. Yes, there are similarities, but each person has a Oklahoma. Glenda also serves on the board of directors for
personality unique to themselves. Thanexus. She holds two bachelor’s degrees, one in Special
This is evident in how our facilities have been cre- Education from Central State University and another in Funeral
ated and how our Funeral Directors have been trained Service from the University of Oklahoma, along with a master’s
to seek out and capture each person’s unique story. in Administrative Leadership.
When Kim and Hellen arrive, Wesley starts with basic “Max is Michelle, or at least he used to be,” says Kim. “He’s
introductions; then he asks, “Can we start by having you tell been transitioning for the last three years. People who loved
me what happened to Max?” him …,” Kim pauses as she looks directly at Hellen, “respected
Kim responds first. “Max fell from a roof. God knows why his decision to be the man he always felt he was.”
he was up there, but he slipped and fell. He was in the hospital Silence fills the air. Finally, Hellen speaks. “I can tell you
for only a few hours before he died. They could do nothing to this much little Miss Kim, we are not burying her looking
help; he was so injured. It was so senseless.” Kim starts to cry. like a man.”
“I’m so sorry; that sounds very difficult,” Wesley responds. Kim ignores Hellen and turns to Wesley. “We will be hav-
“I hate to say this but …,” Hellen pauses and looks at Kim, ing a visitation and burial for Max as Max. Let’s get going on
“Michelle took way too many risks.” what we need to do.”
“His name is Max, Hellen. Why can’t you be more respect- Hellen stands up. “I will not be part of this circus any lon-
ful?!” Kim shouts. ger,” she says as she turns to walk out of the room.
“Kim, Granny doesn’t know that Michelle pretended to be Wesley never thought he’d be involved with an arrange-
a man. She’s going to be very confused if she sees Michelle ment for a person who was transgender. He grapples with his
dressed like a man at the visitation.” lack of experience. What should be his next step? How is he
“Michelle?” Wesley asks. going to help?
MARCH
SHUTTERSTOCK / NITO | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI 31
WHEN TRANSGENDER PEOPLE DIE
Will Kim and Hellen be able to come to an agree- at compromise. Though Hellen is upset, she agrees to
ment about Max’s funeral? Who can he ask for advice? return to the arrangement.
Wesley feels totally unprepared for this situation. “I know you both have very strong feelings,” Wesley
Though Wesley is a fictitious character, what he says. “I also know that what most people want more
experienced is becoming increasingly more common. than anything is to create a ceremony that will honor
Funeral directors are called on to assist families in their loved one. I think both of you want the same for
making arrangements for a loved one who identified as Max. Is that correct?” He looks at Kim and Hellen.
transgender (or trans) in life. Trans or Transgender is Kim and Hellen look at each other. “I did love … Max,
a term used for those whose gender/gender identity is Kim,” Hellen says. “I was just so concerned about him.”
different from the person’s assigned sex at birth. “I’m sorry, Hellen, I know you loved him,” responds
Kim. Kim looks at Wesley. “I think that is what we want.
What We May Encounter What do we need to do?”
Not all funeral arrangements for trans people will have “First, Hellen,” Wesley says, “you expressed concern
as much conflict and disagreement as what Wes- that your Granny didn’t know about Max. There are
ley experienced; sadly, some may have more. Some options for how we can approach your concern that we
arrangements may be made by a loving and supportive can discuss as we plan the arrangements.”
family that affirms the deceased person’s gender iden- Sometimes, a short break to catch one’s breath can
tity with no dispute. help shed additional light and clarity on a difficult situa-
Unfortunately, there are few tion. Helping clients remember the purpose of planning
Helping clients resources available for funeral a ceremony to honor a family member like Max may
remember the purpose directors that could give guid- help them reach a compromise and create a funeral that
ance about these issues. There honors their loved one.
of planning a ceremony are resources, such as the Order
to honor a family of the Good Death, but many Possibility #2. Kim, Hellen, and their
directors don’t think transgen- immediate family know that Max was trans,
member like Max may der identity issues ever will but some of their extended family does
help them reach a come up in arrangements so the not know.
resources go unnoticed. As mentioned above, Granny does not know about
compromise and create As with Kim and Hellen in Max. Let’s imagine that his sisters question whether
our fictitious funeral arrange- they should let relatives know Max’s true gender iden-
a funeral that honors ment, there are some families tity before the ceremony. If a family decides to reveal
their loved one. who are divided as to how they Max’s gender identity to those who are unaware, the
feel about a trans family mem- next question is what is the best way to let them know?
ber. Funeral arrangements for There is no best way to tell family members about
trans people can range from being routine to being very Max’s gender identity because it depends on the
complex and even combative. family dynamics and the predicted reactions from the
Below, we reimagine the situation that Wesley expe- relatives. Since Max did not reveal his gender identity
riences when working with Kim and Hellen. Since many to some relatives while he was alive, Kim and Hellen
funeral directors may not be familiar with transgender may worry that the relatives who did not know may be
issues, these specific situations may stimulate ideas unsupportive.
about how to best serve clients. • Choice 1: Kim and Hellen could find the potential
stress of unsupportive relatives too difficult and decide
Possibility #1. Kim and Hellen disagree (as to make arrangements for two separate services: one for
represented in the opening). Max and one for Michelle. Creating two services would
Where does this leave Wesley? If there is more than one be more difficult and costly. In addition, and more
person who shares the role of next of kin, a disagree- importantly, Kim, Hellen, and the family who know
ment about which of Max’s genders will be acknowl- about Max’s transition would need to pretend not to
edged can be very challenging for anyone. Here’s how know during the service for Michelle.
Wesley could have reacted after a moment of reflection. • Choice 2: If Kim and Hellen decide to have separate
Flashback to opening scene, continued after Hellen visitations, there could then be a private interment.
storms out of the room: • Choice 3: If they choose cremation, Max’s remains
Wesley suggests to Kim that they take a short break. could be placed in an unmarked urn. The urn could be
He leaves the room to try to find Hellen. When he finds at each of the memorial services.
her, Wesley suggests a short break and another attempt Either way, this pretending could be very stressful for
MARCH
ISTOCK / LADANIFER | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI 33
WHEN TRANSGENDER PEOPLE DIE
Max could have put his wishes about sharing his “Michelle was always so stubborn,” Kim continues.
gender identity after death in a written document. The “I told her that what she was doing was unnatural, but
best way to ensure that misgendering does not happen she wouldn’t listen to reason. Then she cut her beauti-
after death depends on the state where Max lived. A ful hair!”
good resource to find out more information about this “You can put a wig on her to make her look beautiful
can be found at www.formswift.com. like she used to, can’t you?” Hellen asks.
If there is nothing in writing stating Max’s wishes Wesley listens to Kim and Hellen knowing that he
after death and a designated agent was not selected, needs to do what the next of kin requests; but he is
the next of kin could decide to misgender Max. The feeling very uncomfortable.
funeral director is required to follow the directive of “That must be very difficult for everyone in your
the next of kin. family,” Wesley responds. “I understand that neither of
However, since funeral homes are private businesses, you approved of your sibling’s choice, but after listening
Wesley could decide to tell Kim and Hellen that they to your concerns, I realize that I am not a good fit to
might be better served by another funeral director be your funeral director. I can certainly check with the
because he is not comfortable proceeding with arrange- other funeral directors here at Meyer and Becker, or
ments for “Michelle”. I’m sure you can find a funeral home more comfortable
with your wishes.”
Flashback to opening scene: If Wesley is contacted by any of Max’s friends or
Wesley asks, “Can you tell me about Max?” family who affirmed and supported Max’s gender
Hellen responds, “It’s not Max, her name is Michelle. identity, he could offer to help with a service/party/cele-
Michelle is a woman. We don’t know what got into her bration separate from the “official” funeral or memorial.
thinking she wanted to pretend to be a man, but she is Wesley may offer to hold such a service at Meyer and
not a man.” Becker Funeral Home to be supportive of all survivors.
<RXU2QH6RXUFHIRU&HPHWHU\)XQHUDO+RPHDQG%XULDO9DXOW
(TXLSPHQW0DQXIDFWXULQJWKH+LJKHVW4XDOLW\3URGXFWV6LQFH
ƒVDOHV#KROODQGVXSSO\LQFFRPRUYLVLWZZZKROODQGVXSSO\LQFFRP
34 MEMENTO MORI MARCH | APRIL 2021 www.iccfa.com
Possibility #4. Kim, Hellen, and their family knew that
Max was trans, and they supported him.
If people attending the funeral are aware of Max’s gender identity
and they were supportive of his transition, the funeral or memorial
arrangements may not need to address his gender/gender identity The UlTimaTe Grass for CemeTeries & fUneral homes
other than perhaps to acknowledge it.
If this is the situation, Wesley could continue with the arrange- • Lush Dark Green Grass
ment and create a funeral that best honors Max’s life as a man.
• Four-foot roots need
In Support of …
Funeral directors who want to be supportive of the rights of
75% less water
transgender people believe that it is important not to misgender
the person who died by misidentifying them during the funeral or
• Mow only once a month
memorial, when making the arrangements, or in informal conversa- rather than weekly
tions with other funeral staff or community members.
If someone misgenders the person who died, it is important to • Needs no chemicals to
correct the error. This shows support, acknowledgment, and under- out-compete weeds and grass
standing. This will also help those transgender people in attendance
to know their autonomy is respected as well. • Stays green year round
Also, a person’s legal gender at the time of death is the gender
that is recorded on the death certificate. Some states may have spe- • Grows in all world climates
cific rules about death certificates. Even if the person’s legal name is
w w w . PearlsPremium . c o m
his or her birth name, the person’s gender identity could be written
in the alias section of the death certificate.
T HE DATE WAS MARCH 12, 2019. The day was a Tuesday. The time was 11:33 pm.
Our lives changed forever.
We received a call to inform us that we had lost our 21-year-old son, Rehan. The events
that followed are a blur—it felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. I have
experienced all the stages of grief; and on some days even now, I experience them all
over again. Each day is different, each moment is different. One must just ride that
wave; for that is grief. Death is very much a part of life and a conversation that needs to
happen for each one of us.
My road to ICCFA was perhaps fate. Bringing me
to this organization almost 25 years ago, knowing that
it was here that I needed to be when I lost my son,
gave me a second family to surround me with love
and support.
The journey of grief is a very personal one. It is
different for everyone dealing with loss and healing.
It is affected by how deeply you loved the person, and
sometimes the circumstances of how you lost that
person. Sudden and tragic circumstances add trauma
to the experience and take the grieving process to
another level.
We long for our loved ones to be remembered and
their lives celebrated. To be forgotten is one of the big-
gest fears we have, especially when the life lost is that of
a child, gone way before his time.
We talk about them because they are with us. They
live on in our hearts. We want to share their stories,
their dreams, their hopes, and the plans they had for
the future. Sharing is our path toward healing. Some
people don’t always know what to say to those who are
grieving, so they say nothing. Not mentioning their
names or not talking about them hurts beyond what
words can express.
Ask about the table setting and empty chair at the
dinner table for the one who is no longer there. Men-
tion his or her name in conversation; share a memory.
Listen. Be kind to the grieving, especially during the
holidays when the memories are so bittersweet.
MARCH
ISTOCK / TATIANA PRIKHNENKO | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI 37
IT’S NOT LENGTH OF LIFE, BUT DEPTH OF LIFE
While these companies don’t all provide the same providing tips for making the content “better.” Better is
services, the concept is similar: They use existing data- a subjective term here, as you’ll see in the section on the
bases and insights culled from your deathcare website potential disadvantages of these tools.
and the sites of competitors to provide advice on SEO Other services provided by some of these tools include:
and content marketing. • Analysis of your existing content
Many offer writing and editing tools that score your • Content inventories—such as whether you have
content against SEO factors—the idea is that the higher content already on important topics
you score in these systems, the better your content is • Insight into searcher intent so you can better tailor
likely to perform in the search engines. content
Companies pay a premium for some of these ser- • Content strategy to help you build clusters of con-
vices; so the question for independent deathcare firms tent that keep people on your page and drive them
is whether there’s enough return on investment for toward a conversion
them to bother. • Integration with other tools and options for man-
The answer: Maybe. aging PPC and SEM campaigns
It’s common for people to misunderstand the
“power” behind these tools, thinking they’re some kind Pros of SEO Tools
of magic SEO genie that takes all the work and thought SEO tools can provide easy access to a lot of search
out of the process. data, making it easier to pinpoint keywords, understand
Below, I cover the pros and cons of automated SEO searcher intent, and plan content that is more likely to
tools and address some of the questionable ways these resonate with your audience.
tools are often used (ways deathcare firms should avoid). Funeral homes, cemeteries, and cremation providers
simply do not have the time, resources, or knowledge to
What Services Do SEO AI Tools Offer? gather this kind of data, so this is certainly more benefi-
SEO tools can offer in-depth insights into keywords and cial than any DIY plan. The top tools in this niche offer
topics your content should address. For example, if your data options such as:
keyword or topic is “cost of funeral services,” an SEO • Automated keyword research
tool might provide advice about: • Domain analysis
• How long the content should be • Backlink analysis
• What secondary and semantic keywords should be • Monitoring of performance for keywords over time
included • Site audits to help you identify and fix performance
• Which subheadings you should consider including issues
• Which competitor pages are performing well These tools can provide some guidance for people
• What authoritative links you might consider who know a little about content marketing and SEO but
including aren’t sure what to do beyond shoving keywords onto
• What internal links you might include their pages.
Many of these tools come with online content Many of the top options have some machine learning
editing tools, especially if you pay for higher-level and language AI built-in, which means they can offer
subscriptions. some basic advice about what topics you might want to
The editing tool applies a variety of rules, scoring the consider and even how you could structure them.
content to let you know how well it might perform and Finally, SEO tools are fantastic if you’re just running
MARCH
SHUTTERSTOCK / DMITRYMO / ERHUI1979 / USMAN SAEED | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI 41
DON’T LET THE ‘AUTOMATED’ SEO GENIE OUT OF THE BOTTLE
low on creative steam—or your marketing team is If you write content in the tool, it may provide
coming up short on ideas—and you need a springboard. further suggestions. Common style suggestions in
With a few clicks, you can typically generate long lists these tools include keeping paragraphs and sentences
of topics and suggested titles to spark more brainstorm- very short, removing passive voice, and reducing use of
ing on your part. complex sentences or words.
The problem with these suggestions is that the per-
Cons of SEO Tools son in charge of marketing often holds true to the letter
The biggest downside of these tools for most funeral of them instead of the spirit of them.
homes is cost. As of this writing, SEMrush’s pricing I’ve seen marketers push content writers to include
structure includes three plans costing $119.95, $229, or all the words, subheadings, and questions as well as
$449.95 per month per user. MarketMuse plans range write to the rigid sentence structure guidelines in these
from $79 for a single user plan that allows 25 queries tools. Often, the result is lackluster content—content
a month to $1,499 (or more) per month for unlimited that sounds like everyone else, doesn’t engage the
users and some extra applications. reader, and doesn’t provide any new information for
For small businesses, such as most independent the audience.
deathcare firms, these prices are a stretch unless the Here’s something worth considering: If many people
firm is receiving excellent return on investment (ROI) are turning to these tools and following the same advice
out of the tool. to optimize their content, how optimized really is your
Some tools do offer free options you can explore. For page going to be?
example, Ink SEO has a limited free tool that provides That’s not to say these SEO tools have no value. Key-
some SEO scoring and content word research with a few clicks is valuable. A machine
[M]any experienced recommendations. However, culling the internet to see what the competition is doing
many experienced content writ- and summarizing it for you—including word counts,
content writers and ers and marketers often find headings, and topics—is valuable.
marketers often find these tools stymying to both But if you don’t know what quality content looks like
creativity and quality writing, for your audience and you rely solely on these tools to
these free tools stymying which brings me to the second tell you, you may backpedal any potential ROI.
Instead, you might give the writer all the SEO data— • Second, learn a lot about your audience and how best
keywords, suggested subheadings, links, questions to to communicate with people who might be interested
ask and answer—and have that person incorporate the in your services.
information into articles using the voice and style that Then you can marry what you know with the infor-
has worked well so far. mation that comes from SEO and marketing tools to
Ultimately, the best way to ensure ROI when using create unique, brand-appropriate content that performs
any online marketing or SEO tool is to avoid relying on well in search, resonates with the deathcare demo-
it as a be-all, end-all. graphic in your area, and drives more engagement and
conversions.
Takeaways
• First, learn a little about online marketing and why Welton Hong is the founder of Ring Ring Marketing and the
author of Making Your Phone Ring with Internet Marketing for
various tactics are important.
Funeral Homes.
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MARCH
SHUTTERSTOCK / ERHUI1979 | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI 43
PANDEMICS
That Changed
I
N THE REALM OF INFECTIOUS DISEASES, The symptoms included fever, thirst, bloody throat
and tongue, red skin and lesions. The disease, suspected
a pandemic is the worst case scenario. When an to have been typhoid fever, weakened the Athenians
epidemic spreads beyond a country’s borders, that’s significantly and was a major factor in their defeat by
the Spartans.
when the disease officially becomes a pandemic.
Communicable diseases existed during humankind’s Antonine Plague, 165 A.D.
hunter-gatherer days, but the shift to agrarian life 10,000 The Antonine plague was possibly an early appearance
of smallpox that began with the Huns. The Huns then
years ago created communities that made epidemics more
infected the Germans who passed it to the Romans, and
possible. Malaria, tuberculosis, leprosy, influenza, smallpox then returning troops spread it throughout the Roman
and others first appeared during this period. empire. Symptoms included fever, sore throat, diarrhea,
and, if the patient lived long enough, pus-filled sores.
See a timeline below of pandemics that, in ravaging
This plague continued until about 180 A.D., claiming
human populations, changed history. Emperor Marcus Aurelius as one of its victims.
HISTORY
There were recurring outbreaks over the next three centuries.
In 444 A.D., it hit Britain and obstructed defense efforts against
the Picts and the Scots, causing the British to seek help from the
A slow-developing bacterial disease that causes sores and
deformities, leprosy was believed to be a punishment from God
that ran in families. This belief led to moral judgments and victims
Saxons, who would soon control the island. being ostracized. Now known as Hansen’s disease, it still afflicts
tens of thousands of people every year and can be fatal if not
Justinian Plague, 541 A.D. treated with antibiotics.
First appearing in Egypt, the Justinian plague spread through
Palestine and the Byzantine Empire, and then throughout the The Black Death, 1350
Mediterranean. Responsible for the death of one-third of the world’s population,
The plague changed the course of the empire, squelching this second large outbreak of the bubonic plague possibly started
Emperor Justinian’s plans to bring the Roman Empire back in Asia and moved west in caravans. Entering through Sicily in
together and causing massive economic struggle. It is also credited 1347 A.D. when plague sufferers arrived in the port of Messina,
with creating an apocalyptic atmosphere that spurred the rapid it spread throughout Europe rapidly. Dead bodies became so
spread of Christianity. prevalent that many remained rotting on the ground and created a
Recurrences over the next two centuries eventually killed about 50 constant stench in cities.
million people, 26 percent of the world’s population. It is believed to be England and France were so incapacitated by the plague that
the first significant appearance of the bubonic plague, which features the countries called a truce to their war. The British feudal system
enlarged lymphatic gland and is carried by rats and spread by fleas. collapsed when the plague changed economic circumstances and
demographics. Ravaging populations in Greenland, Vikings lost the
Leprosy, 11th Century strength to wage battle against native populations, and their explo-
Though it had been around for ages, leprosy grew into a pan- ration of North America halted.
demic in Europe in the Middle Ages, resulting in the building of
numerous leprosy-focused hospitals to accommodate the vast The Columbian Exchange, 1492
number of victims. Following the arrival of the Spanish in the Caribbean, diseases such
MARCH
SHUTTERSTOCK / EVERETT COLLECTION / TITHI LUADTHONG / CHANNARONG PHERNGJANDA / SYLVERARTS VECTORS | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI 45
PANDEMICS THAT CHANGED HISTORY
as smallpox, measles, and bubonic plague were passed along to the Spanish Flu, 1918
native populations by the Europeans. With no previous exposure, The avian-borne flu that resulted in 50 million deaths worldwide,
these diseases devastated indigenous people, with as many as 90 the 1918 flu was first observed in Europe, the United States, and
percent dying throughout the north and south continents. parts of Asia before swiftly spreading around the world. At the
Upon arrival on the island of Hispaniola, Christopher Colum- time, there were no effective drugs or vaccines to treat this killer
bus encountered the Taino people, population 60,000. By 1548, flu strain. Wire service reports of a flu outbreak in Madrid in the
the population stood at less than 500. This scenario repeated itself spring of 1918 led to the pandemic being called the “Spanish flu.”
throughout the Americas. By October, hundreds of thousands of Americans had died and
body storage scarcity hit crisis level. But the flu threat disappeared
The Great Plague of London, 1665 in the summer of 1919 when most of the infected had either devel-
In another devastating appearance, the bubonic plague led to the oped immunities or died.
deaths of 20 percent of London’s population. As human death tolls
mounted and mass graves appeared, hundreds of thousands of cats Asian Flu, 1957
and dogs were slaughtered as the possible cause, and the disease Starting in Hong Kong and spreading throughout China and
spread through ports along the Thames. The worst of the outbreak then into the United States, the Asian flu became widespread in
tapered off in the fall of 1666, around the same time as another England where, over six months, 14,000 people died. A second
destructive event—the Great Fire of London. wave followed in early 1958, causing an estimated total of about 1.1
million deaths globally, with 116,000 deaths in the United States. A
First Cholera Pandemic, 1817 vaccine was developed, effectively containing the pandemic.
The first of seven cholera pandemics over the next 150 years, this
wave of the small intestine infection originated in Russia, where HIV/AIDS, 1981
one million people died. Spreading through feces-infected water First identified in 1981, AIDS destroys a person’s immune system,
and food, the bacterium was passed along to British soldiers who resulting in eventual death by diseases that the body would usually
brought it to India where millions more died. fight off. Those infected by HIV encounter fever, headache, and
The reach of the British Empire and its navy spread cholera enlarged lymph nodes upon infection. When symptoms subside,
to Spain, Africa, Indonesia, China, Japan, Italy, Germany, and carriers become highly infectious through blood and genital fluid,
America, where it killed 150,000 people. A vaccine was created and the disease destroys t-cells.
in 1885, but pandemics continued. AIDS is believed to have developed from a chimpanzee virus
from West Africa in the 1920s. The disease, which spreads through
The Third Plague Pandemic, 1855 certain body fluids, moved to Haiti in the 1960s, and then New
Starting in China and moving to India and Hong Kong, the bubonic York and San Francisco in the 1970s. About 35 million people
plague claimed 15 million victims. Initially spread by fleas during worldwide have died of AIDS since its discovery, and a cure is yet to
a mining boom in Yunnan, the plague is considered a factor in the be found.
Parthay rebellion and the Taiping rebellion.
India faced the most substantial casualties, and the epidemic SARS, 2003
was used as an excuse for repressive policies that sparked some First identified in 2003 after several months of cases, Severe Acute
revolt against the British. The pandemic was considered active until Respiratory Syndrome is believed to have possibly started with bats,
1960 when cases dropped below a couple hundred. spread to cats and then to humans in China, followed by 26 other
countries, infecting 8,096 people, with 774 deaths.
Fiji Measles Pandemic, 1875 SARS is characterized by respiratory problems, dry cough, fever
After Fiji ceded to the British Empire, a royal party visited Austra- and head and body aches and is spread through respiratory droplets
lia. Arriving during a measles outbreak, the royal party brought the from coughs and sneezes.
disease back to the island, and it was spread further by the tribal
heads and police who met with them upon their return. COVID-19, 2019
Spreading quickly, the island was littered with corpses that On March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization announced
were scavenged by wild animals, and entire villages died and were that COVID-19 was officially a pandemic after barreling through
burned down, sometimes with the sick trapped inside the fires. 114 countries in three months and infecting over 118,000 people.
One-third of Fiji’s population, a total of 40,000, died. The first reported case in China appeared November 17,
2019, in the Hubei Province, but went unrecognized. Eight more
Russian Flu, 1889 cases appeared in December with researchers pointing to an
The first significant flu pandemic started in Siberia and Kazakh- unknown virus.
stan, traveled to Moscow, and made its way into Finland and then
Poland, where it moved into the rest of Europe. By the following Excerpted from “Pandemics That Changed History,” History.com, www.
history.com/topics/middle-ages/pandemics-timeline.
year, it had crossed the ocean into North America and Africa. By
the end of 1890, 360,000 had died.
Life
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An Anatomical Offering:
The Gift That Keeps on Giving
by Steve Walker
F
OR CATHOLICS IN UPSTATE NEW YORK , the Albany Diocesan Cemeteries research and educational programs they
Anatomical Gift Memorial Service program provides an opportunity to formally need to conduct.
recognize, thank, and offer prayers for program participants and their families. The Ninety percent of U.S. adults say they
memorial service is annual but was not held in 2020 due to COVID-19 restrictions. support organ donation while only 60 per-
cent are signed up as donors according to
“Last year was the first year since the subjects for use in educating future doctors, www.organdonor.gov. While many people
program’s inception in 1983 that Albany nurses, and other medical personnel. For know about organ donation, few Americans
Diocesan Cemeteries did not offer a memo- those who choose to donate their bodies to have given thought to whole-body donation
rial service for the anatomical gift pro- science after death, it is often an alternative after death.
gram,” says Jennifer Mele, communications to the traditional funeral and burial.
director for Albany Diocesan Cemeteries in One such school is Albany Medical Col- Religious and Ethical
Menands, NY. lege in New York. By partnering with the Considerations
In order to give some level of closure Albany Diocesan Cemeteries for Catholics, Families can learn about the anatomical
to families, the Albany Medical College in the cemetery provides no-cost services and gift program through relatives who were
New York, which has partnered with the grave space for program participants after donors, or through the hospital when
Albany Diocesan Cemeteries for Catholics all studies are completed. they inquire about donating their body to
who have donated their bodies, created its Colleges and universities do not pay medical science, according to Mele. “We’ve
own private memorial service in 2020. It for bodies, but many will take care of the noticed over the years that there are usually
was not made public due to the pandemic, administrative fees involved, as well as at least one or two medical professionals
but was recorded and copies were given to transportation (within reason) from the who have chosen anatomical gift and are
the next of kin. The video was also posted place of death to the school. Most will cre- being interred in the yearly ceremony.”
on YouTube. mate the final remains at their expense. When considering organ or whole-body
No federal agency tracks whole-body donation, families often wonder about
Local Institutions in Need donations, but researchers estimate about their religion’s stance on donation. Fami-
Most states have at least one medical 18,000 cadavers are donated annually in the lies should reach out to their faith leaders
school with an organ or whole-body donor United States. Educators and researchers for answers, and faith leaders should be
program that allows the institution to have tell us that this is not nearly enough for the encouraged to stay up to date on their
denomination’s positions on this issue.
Most religions have no prohibition against
donation, but positions can and do change,
and a family will appreciate a ready and
clear answer in their time of need.
There are a great many organizations
that will accept whole-body donations.
But some of these are in the “body broker”
business and donors may have no idea that
their bodies could be parted out and sold
for research to as many as six different
educational or research facilities.
Sara Marsden-Ille of U.S. Funerals
Online says, “This shouldn’t be a problem
with colleges and universities that operate
a body bequeathal program to support
their own medical schools.” According to
Michael P. Smith, Director of Anatomical Gift Program for Albany Medical College. Marsden-Ille, these institutions, like Albany
A
S SOMEONE WHO TRANSITIONED from funeral service to academia just a fledgling funeral directors, are eagerly
few years ago, I have discovered that students are incredibly resilient. My students trying to land their first jobs. They are still
have adapted wonderfully to online instruction, and I have found during this very excited about entering the profession
pandemic that their technical skills have improved tremendously in spite of the fact that in spite of the challenges abounding in the
their instructor is technologically challenged! last few months and are enthusiastically
applying for jobs in spite of the obstacles
The pandemic has presented some real profession since the onset of COVID-19. they are encountering.
challenges for funeral homes. More and The pandemic has pushed funeral homes I would like to thank SCI’s national and
more people are succumbing to the horrific to become more innovative in the devel- regional recruiters for participating in our
disease that is COVID-19. We’ve learned opment of their services as well as in the virtual classroom with hiring opportunities
that we must all be resilient; we must number of people allowed during visita- for our students. Breaking into funeral ser-
bounce back, always cognizant of the needs tions. Online funerals have become increas- vice during a pandemic is something never
of grieving families during these trying ingly more popular with the general public mentioned in a textbook. SCI has been a
times. during this pandemic, and this trend may lifesaver in providing resources for our stu-
Creativity, innovation, and technol- continue once the threat has diminished. dents. We—faculty, staff, and students—are
ogy are key forces driving change in the In the midst of all this, my students, all very grateful!
I think more people realize now that A friend’s COVID-19 symptoms were very
cremation as a final disposition progressive over a few short days. He was
buys them the gift of time to gather, in ICU and preparing for a ventilator. A
plan, and prepare; and I don’t see vast array of emotions swept over me; this
cremation numbers doing anything entire experience was extremely scary. My
but going up with this realization friend has made a remarkable recovery.
and with the broader acceptance of Our industry has faced a major chal-
technology as a means of connecting lenge and has adapted remarkably. In
families. the beginning, direct cremation was the
I also think that funeral most recommended disposition. As time
directors would be wise to embrace the role of celebrant progressed, we learned more. Since there was a 10-person restric-
to broaden their offerings. Cross-utilization of the funeral tion in attendance, many people adapted and went with virtual
home for celebration of life/repast events also can generate visitations and funerals. Just as any other service provided, the
income. virtual aspect comes with an added cost. The pandemic has pre-
pared our industry for the future.
Peggy Deyak is scheduled to graduate in spring 2021 with
an associate’s degree in funeral science. Prior to beginning Dustin Ewing is a full-time student while working part-time with
this journey, she enjoyed a career in retail, completing the Fred Hunter’s Funeral Home as a removal/errands technician.
J.C. Penney Executive Training Program in 1985 and after Dustin’s choice to enter funeral services comes from a passion of
retirement, as a medical office manager for a primary care helping and caring for people. This is his second career choice in life
concierge physician. Peggy has four children and lives in Coral after spending an extended period of time in the classroom and in
Springs, FL. back of an ambulance as a paramedic.
W
hen someone dies, I know what to say … after all, it is my job. However, this is 350°F for 10–15 minutes or until dry to the
not the case for most; and when the words don’t come easily, my advice is to touch and hardened but not too browned.
get practical and get cooking. Once cool, keep in an airtight container.
These go very well with coffee or dessert
While recipes and rituals are different, sheet with non-stick baking paper. On a wine. (Recipe from Food 52)
food plays an important part in the way we floured surface, gently roll out the dough
all grieve. Food is comforting, nurturing, until it is 1cm thick. Cut out 6cm rounds Colonial American
and provides routine in endless days of with a pre-floured cutter and space them Funeral Cookies
grieving. Dropping off a favourite meal says apart on the baking sheet. Impress a cross According to Jacqueline
“I’m thinking of you, I care.” shape into the top of each cookie. Bake S. Thursby in Funeral
Regardless of religion or culture, sharing for 20 minutes or until the cookies have Festivals in America,
something sweet is not just rich in sym- just begun to turn golden. Allow to cool “The molasses cookies
bolism but also delicious. Here are some completely. Once cold, wrap each cookie passed out to people attending funerals in
interesting recipes for funeral cookies that individually in paper. (Recipe and research parts of early America were so common
may just provide that perfect offering when content by Susan Bee–Sydney Living as to nearly have been lost to history.” This
there are no right words. Museums) recipe was adapted from 356 Cakes and
Cookies: A Cake or Cookie for Every Day of
Vaucluse House Fave Dei Morti the Year, 1904.
Funeral Cookies Fave dei morti,
Nineteenth-century “beans of the dead,” Ingredients
funeral cookies were are traditional • 1 cup butter
offered to mourners during visitations and Italian cookies that • ¾ cup sugar
to those who attended burial services. They are not reserved • ½ cup molasses
were sweet and spiced and were often made for funerals but are • 1 egg
by a specialist cookie supplier rather than baked for All Saints Day Ognissanti, and All • 2 ½ cups flour
baked at home. The Victorians typically Souls Day Tutti Morti. They are prepared to • 2 teaspoon ginger
wrapped each cookie individually in a death provide transport for the souls of the dead • 1 tbsp caraway seeds (optional)
notice, a poem, or a Bible verse. on these days when relatives and ancestors
are honoured. Originally made with broad Method
Ingredients beans, the main ingredient was changed Cream together butter and sugar; add
• 9 ounces butter (at room temp) many years ago to almonds. molasses and egg. In a separate bowl, stir
• 1 cup caster sugar together the dry ingredients, then mix the
• 4 teaspoons caraway seeds Ingredients dry and wet ingredients. Roll out dough
• 3 teaspoons ground cardamon • 7 ounces (200 grams) almond meal and cut into circles. Cook in a 350° oven for
• 10 ounces flour • ¾ cup (100 grams) flour 10–12 minutes.
• 3 ounces rice flour • ½ cup (100 grams) sugar
• Pinch salt • 1 medium-large egg Stephanie Longmuir is an
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CEMETERY IMPOSSIBLE
I
N MANY STATES , you have combination funeral/cemetery businesses; but in some When we add the phrase “and Crematory”
states, you do not. Many cemeteries have tried to stay in their lanes offering only to a cemetery it expands the cemetery’s
interment options. Most funeral homes have stayed in their lanes, only dealing with the offerings. Assuming it is legal for a cem-
funeral and care of the body, without any interment options. As fewer bodies are interred etery to offer cremation services in your
and only a fraction of cremated remains are permanently inurned in a cemetery, this means state, you will open a wider market as a
cemeteries must take a different path to maintain their relevancy and their cash flow. When service provider.
allowed by law, the solution could be establishing a funeral service business that focuses on I have railed against the phrase “Tra-
direct cremation services. ditional Funeral” or “Traditional Funeral
Home.” The very word “traditional” means
Semantics Is More than Just Words Service” gives the impression that a service conforming to a consistent practice. Yet
Semantics, from the ancient Greek, is the is limited only to a funeral. Is a cremation when we wrongly use this phrase today, it
study of words and their meanings. Often, a funeral? Is an interment a funeral? Does implies a casketed body at a funeral with a
the words in our business and life provide a Jones Funeral Services provide cremations? burial. Once cremation became the major-
limited image of what we are trying to com- A cemetery has no such confusion. ity choice, that term has lost its meaning
municate. For example, the phrase “Funeral People know what a cemetery is and does. except in a poetic or romantic reference to
the past.
When cremation is part of more than
half of all funerals, cremation becomes the
new version of a Traditional Funeral. The
sooner we purge our paradigm, the better
we can be focused on giving families what
they want and need today.
Therefore, assuming it is legal for a cem-
etery to provide funeral options that include
a cremation, then the sky is the limit. You
get to decide whether to be a value pro-
Do you need to get more out vider or an experience provider. The value
provider offers cremation funerals on a
of your Perpetual Care Trust? marginal price scale. The experienced pro-
vider offers cremation funerals with more
options for ritual.
MARCH
TDMversion20210113b.indd 1 | APRIL 2021 MEMENTO MORI
1/28/21 3:47 59
PM
CEMETERY IMPOSSIBLE
If our value-focused consumers are now up Just as the problem funeral homes are What if the law does not allow, as it does
to about 20 percent, that accounts for about facing, cemeteries have a large, fixed cost not in some states? I recommend that you
560,000 calls. of operations. If your revenue is being consider finding how your association can
impaired, and costs of operation are fixed, help change the law. Laws are created by the
5. The internet is a villain. then profit is the only thing that can change. people and they are changed by the people.
We shop for cars, homes, and appliances Therefore, you need to find other sources of Many laws governing funerals are based
with the help of the internet. We shop for revenue. This solution of having a direct- on biological protections, but some are
funeral homes the same way. In a recent to-consumer cremation business can help driven by business points. We have gone
survey of one internet provider, almost 70 you recapture lost revenue and not tax your from not having OSHA-established prep
percent of all at-need consumers, who did fixed cost of operations. rooms to having OSHA-governed prep
not know what funeral home to choose, rooms. We will be embracing the future
chose a funeral home to call from their So, What Is the Answer? when we start making cremation more
hand-held smart phones. Yet, most funeral Cremation is the answer to the problem available.
home websites are terrible for attracting with cremation! You can market virtually.
consumers and do little to differentiate You have a name that is well-known in the Dan Isard, MSFS, is president of
The Foresight Companies LLC, a
themselves from others. Therefore, price is community for decades or longer. This is an
Phoenix-based business and
the differentiator. advantage. You can market on equal foot-
management consulting firm
Cemeteries have lost interment opportu- ing. You can also ask families the questions specializing in mergers and
nities as bodies are cremated and not bur- about inurnment options that the other acquisitions, valuations,
ied. The entire aligned profession has lost alternative providers are not concerned accounting, financing HR services
casket sales, vault/grave liner sales, marker with. and family surveys. He is the author of several
sales, and more, each time a person that With this in mind, should a cemetery books and hundreds of published articles in
heretofore would have been buried chooses find a way to add a retort and market cre- industry magazines, including “The Director’s
cremation. Only about 10 percent to 20 per- mation-focused funerals direct to consum- Finance 101” column. He can be reached at
cent of all cremated bodies are permanently ers? Yes, if the law allows. It may be a way 800.426.0165 or danisard@
inurned at a cemetery. Cremation is costing to add revenue and profit to your ceme- theforesightcompanies.com.
the cemeterian just as much revenue as the tery, through the very route that has been
funeral home. impairing your revenue.
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GENERATIONS
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INDUSTRY UPDATE
CASKET&
to make the necessary adjustments, along
with improving scaling after a physical survey
MAUSOLEUM
of the cemetery’s grounds. The new maps,
too, were digitised and linked to the records
PROTECTION
relevant to their corresponding plots.
MausoGuard
TM
and records is not a novel problem for
cemeteries the world over. The nature of the
cemetery management industry is that it has A state-of-the-art casket
been relying on the goodwill of volunteers in enclosure for your
virtually every country, and their selflessness mausoleum
does not go unappreciated. However, it’s true
that volunteer turnover results in disjointed,
non-uniform record keeping which tends to
suffer exponentially with time.
PATENT 6,253,503
Maple Hill Cemetery’s records were sorted
and cleaned up with the help of the Chronicle
MausoTray
team, and ported to the software’s cloud, TM
where they’re accessible 24/7 from any
device. Now volunteers have a user interface
that’s easy to understand and keeps records in
A low-cost “insurance”
a uniform, consistent manner. Every addition
for your mausoleum
or edit to the records is now tracked.
These records are automatically aligned VKM International Inc.
with a stunning visual map of the cemetery – CALL: 800.886.2417 • FAX: 352-861-2473
only fitting for a cemetery like this one. Both www.vkminternational.com
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IN MEMORIAM
Jack E. Frost, 89, owner and
operator of Memorial Park
Funeral Homes and
Cemeteries passed away on
January 20, 2021, at
Northeast Georgia Medical
Center Braselton Campus.
Jack owned and operated cemeteries for over
50 years from Billings, MT, to Charleston, SC.
He was past president of the Southern
COMPACT
Cemetery Association, vice-president of the
CORONET!! American Cemetery Association, and
Fits the standard
president of the Georgia Cemetery Associa-
cremation container.
6400lbs of top load pressure tion. He also served on the community board
at Peach State Bank in Gainesville, GA, the
board of The History Center, and the board of
Call 866-763-0485 or visit www.crownevault.com We Care.
Selling your business is complex and you get only one shot to do it right. With
JCG leading the way, you can expect the higher than highest value! Contact us
today to schedule your free consultation.
JohnsonConsulting.com
Jake Johnson Tom Johnson 480-556-8500
MEMBER NEWS
PARTNERSHIPS
Elevate
inurnment services
Holds upto 100 lbs
Installs in 1 minute
Exclusively by
ACQUISITIONS companies. “We are very excited to work with the same service with continued respect and
Ellery and the team at Aftercare,” Curtis said. professionalism. Jefferson Memorial, founded
“We have a very similar vision of creating in 1949, and Currie-Jefferson, founded in 1959,
software that does the work for the funeral have long provided state-of-the-art accom-
director and we are looking forward to making modations to the greater Birmingham area.
the lives of our clients easier in more ways.” Spacious, full-service funeral homes were
Tukios has over 5,000 funeral homes using its added to the well-maintained perpetual care
simple video creation software. gardens in the 1980s and 1990s.
CEMETERY PLANNING
ments to PRISM, the
company’s online
trust recordkeeping and administration
services platform. The new features will
ensure deathcare firms are equipped 24/7
with the tools, resources and real-time
information they need to serve consumers in
an increasingly digital environment. The new,
robust enhancements include: Mobile-friendly
design and enhanced dashboard that can be
used for all smartphones and tablets (an
estimated 1 billion devices) and the majority of
browsers; clients can now set-up and process
one-time and recurring consumer credit card
payments online; and a live chat feature so
clients can speak directly with an FSI team
member online during business hours.
this integration a reality. With this integration, History. This exhibition will focus on the late
Passare users can now quickly and easily sub- 1800s through today, in New Orleans, Loui-
mit death certification information with a few siana, on how a common way to bid farewell
clicks. “We are thrilled to offer our Pennsylva- to a loved one originated with a jazz funeral
nia clients this groundbreaking integration,” or a funeral with music that is now a tradition
said Josh McQueen, vice president of product unique to the city of New Orleans, especially
Travel Plan by Inman has changed the way it at Passare. “No other administration system among the African American community.
does business. To better serve Travel Plan par- has ever attempted to integrate with a state’s “New Orleans has a rich and fascinating
ticipants, it is implementing a change to sales EDRS system, making this the first integration history,” stated Bob. “The convergence of the
starting in 2021. This change will offer greater of its kind. And Pennsylvania is the first state French, Spanish, and British who colonized the
benefit to the families served. Any Travel to offer an API that makes this integration area paired with the West African tribes from
Plans sold in 2021 will return a participant to possible.” the domestic slave trade in the early 1900s,
the local funeral home rather than the airport significantly attributed to this colorful culture.”
closest to the legal residence. The hope is that Bob added, “Today’s jazz funerals adhere to
this new option will allow more people to have a strictly defined parade structure. Once the
the peace of mind protection that the Travel funeral wake ends, the band accompanies
Plan by Inman offers. the family from the funeral home or church.
It leads its way to the cemetery, sometimes
using a horse-drawn hearse. The group, also
known as ‘the first line,’ plays somber funeral
dirges and traditional spiritual hymns.”
NEW PRODUCTS bracelet. With the same engraving space as 1-877-995-8767 or visit the website at www.
the pendant style, these bracelets can be NewMemorialsDirect.com.
customized with actual fingerprint, handprint,
footprint, handwriting, or standard text Passages Interna-
engraving. The chambered style allows for tional, Inc. has
personalization on all four sides, while the flat, released its new
non-ash holding style can be engraved on 2021 product
front and back. It can be ordered in your catalog. The catalog
customer’s choice of the following metals: was created as a tool
sterling silver, solid 14K gold (yellow, white, or for funeral homes to
After the rose), or platinum. As always, New Memorials present eco-friendly
popularity of its Direct does not sell to the general public and urns and caskets to
bar pendants, a wholesale account is required to place their non-traditional
New Memorials orders. To inquire about this new bracelet or families, and it features several new urns and
Direct has to obtain a wholesale account, please contact caskets. The new digital “flip” format can be
announced a personalized horizontal bar New Memorials Direct via telephone at shared with families for them to review in the
comfort of their homes or on their own
devices. Printed copies are discouraged, but
available upon request. The organization of
the catalog follows the product decision-mak-
ing process that a family would go through
R E L A M PI N G when arranging a funeral. Beginning, for
example, with the selection of a casket or
shroud for cremation or natural burial,
LED light bulbs followed by a presentation of urns organized
fo r C r y p t s & N i ch e s
by usage, and then to memorial pieces and
D O I T YO U R S E L F jewelry. The catalog does not include pricing
or funeral industry jargon.
s e p te ch n o l o g i e s .co m
1 8 7 7 5 1 5 - 4 67 2 CHARITABLE DONATIONS
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MEMBER NEWS
scan me
withum.com/death-care
The essential work you do – day in and day out – has never been more important.
Right now, that’s what matters most. We applaud you and want to learn more.
sponsors!
Assurant Solutions Homesteaders Life Company
The Bancorp Inglewood Park Cemetery
Biondan North America, Inc. Johnson Consulting Group
Blackstone Cemetery Matthews Memorialization
Development
Merendino Cemetery Care
Cave Hill Cemetery
National Guardian Life
Coldspring Insurance Co.
Cooperative Funeral Fund, Inc. NOMIS Publications
Cypress Lawn Park Lawn Corp.
Davey Tree PlotBox
Forest Lawn Memorial- Ring Ring Marketing
Parks & Mortuaries
Security National Life
Foundation Partners
Service Corporation
Funeral Directors Life International
Global Atlantic Financial webCemeteries.com
Group
Hillside Memorial Park & Winning By Design
Mortuary The Woodlawn Cemetery
NEWS
perfect platform to acknowledge and thank rocking success! Yes, there were a few glitch- Ann Marie St. George, CPC, AnnMarie.
our sponsors for their generous contributions. es, a few giggles, and a few odd gestures. [email protected], a first-generation funeral
Each of the sponsors was given the ability It was a huge endeavor. But because it was director, has worked for the past 20 years as a
to personalize a message, and those mes- approached in a collaborative way, by a team regional manager for Cooperative Funeral Fund,
sages were as unique as the companies that of fun-loving and open-minded deathcare a pre-need and cemetery care fund management
presented them. Thank you, sponsors. Game professionals, everything worked out. I am company. Thriving in the industry for over 35
day arrived; and after putting on our uniforms honored to be part of this group and I look years as a funeral director/embalmer, she serves
and helmets, we were ready for the big day. forward to future successful “DEAD Talks” as Mortuary Officer for both DMORT Region II
The event was attended by just shy of starting with next year at the Bally’s in Las and Kenyon International Emergency Services.
300 deathcare sales professionals and was a Vegas, January 12–14, 2022.
I CC FA M E M B E R S H I P B E N E F I T S P OT L I G H T
www.tribucast.com | 800-782-0104
Thank you
to deathcare professionals everywhere.
Photo by Branimir Balogović for Unsplash
• The data in no way suggests the death of the funeral and ceme- • develop a vision for their organization
tery industry – it is quite to the contrary.
• utilize a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and
threats) analysis to identify strategic priorities
• Change does not mean the end; it simply means it’s time to • model how to use a vision and SWOT analysis to develop
adjust. We are going to present you with actual data from a
goals, strategies, and objectives
statistically accurate sampling of the U.S. population.
• The Foresight Companies 2020 U.S. Consumer Behavior Study
• translate a strategic plan into an implementation plans with
measures and a dashboard, and
concluded that the pandemic has fundamentally altered how
the funeral industry will need to operate in the future if it
• explore why they say “culture eats strategy for lunch” and
explain the connection between organization values to organi-
hopes to succeed in the post-pandemic world.
zational behaviors.
Chris Cruger is a Partner and Chief Operating
Dione DeMitro has facilitated strategic plans for
Officer of the Foresight Companies. In this role,
businesses, school districts, nonprofit organizations,
Chris provides leadership, management, and vision
and municipalities for over 15 years. She served as
for The Foresight Companies in order to ensure that
the Director of the Nonprofit and Public Service
the proper resources, people, and controls are in
Center at Lakeland Community College before
place to serve our clients. As one of the foremost
joining DeJohn Funeral Homes and Cremation
authorities in the cemetery and funeral service industry, Chris has
Services. The model she developed is designed to collect and
the knowledge to provide efficient solutions to businesses of all
synthesize large amounts of information quickly. Dione is a highly
sizes in our profession. His experience in the funeral industry spans
skilled facilitator and is called upon to help organizations with
throughout North America, five continents, and 25 countries. Over
change management, shifting culture, and project planning. Dione is
the past 20 years, Chris has analyzed several thousand funeral
a community volunteer and is a current or past board member for a
homes and cemeteries and has a unique depth of perspective in this
number of nonprofit organizations in her community.
industry. Chris has a demonstrated cross-dimensional experience
Why Your Exit Plan Needs a Post–COVID-19 • understanding of various strategies to help them stay on track
Tune-Up to meet their business and personal financial goals.
Tim Hermann, Roosevelt Investment
• identify some of the most common pitfalls that could derail
their exit plan and what steps they can take to account for
It may be years before we fully understand COVID-19’s economic them.
and public health impact but we are already seeing a change in
perceptions and expectations from consumers regarding the future Tim Hermann is the Vice President and Senior
of funeral service. For many funeral service professionals, this may Investment Counselor of the Private Client Group
mean taking a look at your business, its value, and your personal at Roosevelt Investments and is a Certified Exit
financial goals to help ensure your exit plan is still relevant and Planner™ and Certified Financial Planner®. He has
effective after everything that has happened over the last year. Has over 18 years of experience in financial services and
your situation changed? Is your timeline different? Do you want has spent the last 10 years working with funeral
to alter your plan for your successor? Has your attitude towards homes, cemeteries, and their owners and operators. Prior to joining
investing and risk changed? For others, it may mean taking a close Roosevelt Investments, Tim was a Senior Relationship Manager at
look at your role in the business and developing an exit plan for Fisher Investments and was also formerly an Associate and
the first time. Join Tim Hermann as he takes you through some of Investment Banking Analyst at JPMorgan Chase & Co. Tim earned
the longer-term implications for your exit plan due to COVID-19 a bachelor’s degree in applied economics and management from
and changing consumer trends. Learn about various strategies to Cornell University.
help you stay on track to meet your business and personal financial
goals.
Takeaways
• longer-term implications for their exit plans due to COVID-19
and changing consumer trends.
incrediblesba.com
© 2019 IncredibleBank
All Rights Reserved.
Disruption—Our Business Was Dying (Even Before questions in a strategic way, despite what our short-term met-
COVID-19) and Yours Was, Too! rics might suggest. Adapt or die.
Chris Keller, Sunset Memorial Park
• We must face the reality that there will be no “back-to-normal”
state of being after COVID-19 is past—the world has perma-
All businesses are dying, they just might be at different stages of nently shifted on its axis, so deal with it.
their life cycle. Is this life cycle a linear progression that can’t be
reversed or can a business “disrupt” or “re-invent” itself in such
• Let go of what you hold dear and provide what the future cus-
tomer will hold dear. We need to stop trying to convince that
a way that it leaps backward to a healthier stage? This affects all future customer that they need to value what we value.
businesses, and, in some cases, those businesses that think they are
the strongest are the most vulnerable and blind to the threat. On
• 2020 was a dumpster fire all the way around but embedded in
that are huge opportunities to redesign and reset your business
top of that, COVID-19 took over the world and forcibly rearranged for the future.
operations and expectations in a rapid and brutal way. The firm
that Chris Keller helps lead is digging deeper beyond the surface Chris Keller is responsible for new development at
metrics and is beginning to see the need to completely disrupt their French Funerals-Cremations/Sunset Memorial
business, both organically and by leveraging the changes already Park. Over the past 13 years he has led the funeral,
brought about by COVID-19. The reality of this is terrifying but the pet cremation, cemetery, and advanced planning
opportunities are tremendous. Are we truly comfortable with the insurance divisions of the company as well as their
concept of bulldozing something we hold so dear and rebuilding it monument company. He is beginning the develop-
in a completely different way to serve the customer of the future? If ment of a new “micro-cemetery” in a nearby community while
we’re not willing to consider doing that, then we’re in big trouble. continuing to maximize and extend Sunset’s revenue potential.
The customer of the future does not want what we delivered to the Sunset Memorial Park is widely known for creative and thoughtful
customer of the past! design implementation and changing the way cemeteries have
always done it. Chris looks at the cemetery and funeral world
Takeaways through a different lens. He is helping his company develop an
• There is an absolute necessity to start addressing these entirely new customer base by advertising and marketing in a
completely different manner and creating new ways for families to frequent speaker on these topics. He is also a published author on
permanently memorialize loved ones. Chris frequently speaks on marketing, communications, and media relations. Joe has a
various industry topics both nationally and internationally. He bachelor’s degree in journalism from Ball State University and an
serves on multiple industry and nonprofit boards and is currently MBA in Marketing from Xavier University. He also served as an
an Officer of the ICCFA Board of Directors. advertising professor at the University of Cincinnati.
Navigate
the new normal
Help Families Connect Meaningfully with
Keeper’s Suite of Digital Memorialization Tools
for Cemeteries and Funeral Homes
• Online Memorials
• Virtual Memorial Services
• Interactive Kiosks
• Email Marketing
• Walk-to-Grave App
• Genealogy
• Aftercare
• Lead Generation
When It Rains...
It Pours...
We’re here to help you
weather the storm.
With the challenges facing all of us, we
have adapted our sales process to fit
your in-person and telesales needs.
Our strategies are designed to excel
your preneed business amidst these
turbulent times.
On all
• Pre-need Cemetery Trust: Focus on what is allowed in differ-
ent states in terms of retainage. Understand how you might matters
set your retainage amount (when the law is either silent or you
want to set aside more). Review rules you may want to think
about and implement related to a preneed cemetery sales pro-
monetary,
gram and what impact they could have to your bottom line.
Beth Kmiec joined ClearPoint Federal Bank & Trust
we’ve
in 2013, coming from personal trust at JPMorgan in
Chicago, IL. Beth is an accomplished business and got the
legal professional. She has a bachelor’s degree in
political science and psychology from the Univer-
sity of Notre Dame and a JD from Loyola University
insight. Doug Gober
Chicago School of Law. Beth is currently the Executive Vice Partner
President, Trust Administration for ClearPoint. She is responsible
for trust administration and client relations as well as certain
aspects of trust and legal compliance.
Talk to Doug about your financing needs today.
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Learn from
Sam teaches designed by Lee Webster of the Green Burial Council
and hosted by Mid-America College of Funeral Service. Chris Cruger
CEO
Takeaways
• After this session, attendees will: the best.
• Understand a base knowledge of green funeral services
• Understand the green burial council’s standards Call Chris about your Succession Planning today.
• Recognize potential business incentives for offering environ-
mentally sensitive and inclusive services (e.g., bringing new cli-
entele, converting cremation families, and establishing rapport
in your community), and
• Recognize ecological and socio-economic benefits through
offering these services
Samuel “Sam” Cline Perry is a licensed mortician
in Indiana and Illinois. He has a bachelor’s degree in
theForesightCompanies.com
mortuary science and funeral service and is
completing his master’s degree in education. He has
worked in the deathcare industry and volunteered • Confidently include family and health care workers in initial
with the Green Burial Council (GBC) for over 10 transfers,
years. He develops and teaches GBC310- Changing Landscapes in • Use inclusive and inviting language at initial transfers, and
Green Funeral Service through a partnership with Mid-America • Create non-denominational mini-ceremonies for use during
College of Funeral Service and the GBC. In his spare time, he is a initial transfers.
gardener and farmer finding inspiration from the land. Angela Woosley, M.A. is the founder of Inspired
Journeys LLC, the Midwest’s first woman-owned
Creating Meaning with Small Moments of and family-centered natural deathcare provider. She
Ceremony at Initial Transfers has been a MN-licensed mortician for over 15 years
Angela Woosley, Inspired Journeys, LLC and taught in the program of mortuary science at
Marc Markell, PhD, Worsham College of Mortuary Science the University of Minnesota for 10 years.
Funeral directors understand the value of funerals and ceremony to Marc Markell earned his PhD in Educational
the grieving process but the COVID-19 pandemic has made funer- Psychology from University of Minnesota. He is a
als increasingly difficult to host. In this session, Marc Markell and certified Professional Development Specialist
Angela Woosley share techniques and ideas to bring the ceremony through the University of Kansas Center for
to the bedside by including family and staff in the initial transfer. research on learning. He is a certified Thanatologist
Providing these small moments of ceremony helps families create through the Association of Death Education and
healing memories, honors the care that health care workers pro- Counseling and certified in death and grief studies from Colorado
vide, and can help tide families over when funerals are difficult to State University through the Center for Loss and Life Transition.
host. These small moments of ceremony are valuable and empow- Marc has earned the following certifications from national funeral
ering, with or without a subsequent funeral, and create a signature service professional organizations: Crematory Operator, Cremation
first impression your families will remember for years to come. Arranger, and Celebrant. Marc has published three books on grief,
book chapters, and numerous articles.
Takeaways
• Recognize the need for moments of ceremony in light of the
COVID-19 pandemic,
LEADERSHIP
Smart leaders and marketers know who to turn to
for the ideas and insights they need to grow their
organizations and their careers: Larry Mersereau,
The 27 Challenges Managers Face: Step-By- CTC. Niched as a differentiation specialist, he is the
Step Solutions to (Nearly) All Your Management author of four books on the topic and a professional
Problems speaker who addresses dozens of audiences in a
Bruce Tulgan, Rainmaker Thinking, Inc. broad range of industries every year. He’s the only speaker who
In hundreds of advanced management seminars, Bruce Tulgan has shares the simple, doable, effective growth strategies and tactics
taken experienced leaders through one problem-solving session that made his books so popular and have helped so many compa-
after another, focusing on one real life case study after another: nies and individuals succeed.
“Who are the employees you are really struggling with? What
information that will help attendees learn why cybersecu- of the board of the Wilton, Connecticut Board of Education.
rity matters to businesses and individuals in the death care
industry. Tips for a Successful Cemetery Management
Eric Jackson is the Virtual Chief Information Software Implementation
Security Officer of Withum Cyber with 16+ years of Jacqueline M. Tiso, JMT Consulting
cyber security experience. He has a diverse So, you’ve made the decision to modernize your cemetery through
background in cyber security, leading tactical and the implementation of new technology. Now comes the hard part.
strategic elements and specializing in incident How do you ensure your investment is maximized? How do you
response, security operations centers, architecture, help employees adopt new systems and processes? How do you lay
and security engineering. A product of Department of Defense, Eric a solid foundation and make sure your new technology enables you
has provided cyber security services for USSTRATCOM, NSA, to make data-driven strategic decisions? In this session, Jacqueline
USAF and USCYBERCOM before moving into civilian financial M. Tiso, CEO of Axiom Cemetery Management Solutions, will
systems and life and safety services, securing large-scale credit card answer these questions and more as she walks you through steps
processing systems and 911 infrastructure security. you can take to ensure a successful cemetery management software
implementation for your cemetery.
Live Streaming 2.0: Building Your Virtual Brand
Takeaways
Bruce Likly, TribuCast
• The main point of the presentation is to cover the best prac-
As a result of the pandemic, funeral homes had to quickly pivot to tices when planning, selecting, and implementing a cemetery
live streaming services. This often meant that there were far more management system.
remote attendees than in-person attendees at funerals. This session
Jacqueline M. Tiso founded Axiom parent com-
will explore the ways in which funeral directors can build their
pany, JMT Consulting, in 1991 with the goal of
virtual brand by adopting best practices to create an online envi-
helping nonprofit organizations achieve their
ronment that closely matches the in-person experience enabling
missions through the effective use of technology. In
all loved ones to grieve effectively regardless of their location or
2020, JMT Consulting acquired Axiom Cemetery
circumstances.
Management Solutions. Jacqueline has received
Takeaways national recognition with the Technology Pacesetter award in
• Why the remote attendee experience is important and the Accounting Today, a Var 100 member, and has been featured on the
implications that experience can have on a funeral home’s cover of Accounting Technology. Jacqueline is a frequent speaker
brand image on financial management and cloud (SaaS) technology and is
• Live streaming 2.0. What are live streaming best practices and regularly called upon for her expertise by the media and as a
how can a funeral director adopt these going forward? (sup- conference speaker.
ported with actual examples), and
• What the pros and cons are of different live streaming plat-
forms, and WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP
• tips for getting started or “upping your game.”
Bruce Likly is President and co-founder of Tribu- Women in Leadership: Compassion Fatigue—
Cast™, a patent-pending remote funeral attendance Self-Care
system with clients established across the US and MODERATOR: Jennifer Olvera, CCE, Green Hills Memorial
overseas. Bruce’s experience includes developing Park
and implementing technology and communications
solutions that help businesses build a competitive
PANELISTS: Delana Pratt, Cairn Partners and Yvonne
edge and address changing market conditions. His experience spans
Slonaker, The Tribute Companies
a wide range of industries including funeral services, healthcare, Dealing with others’ grief is unavoidable in our industry and we
manufacturing, professional services, and distribution. Prior to don’t always know how to let go, which then leads to compassion
TribuCast, Bruce was co-principal of Kovak-Likly Communica- fatigue. Self-care is an activity and an attitude which contributes to
tions, a leading independent healthcare communications company. the maintenance of well-being and personal health. Through the
He also held various positions at IBM and Sun Microsystems, Women in Leadership session, we will hear stories of compassion
including responsibility for the Department of Defense and large fatigue and offer coping mechanisms that will help reduce the
civilian contractors. In these capacities, Bruce managed teams as negative effects of stress so that you can continue to function at full
large as 100 employees and was responsible for sales, marketing, capacity.
process improvement and change management. Bruce is a
multi-engine instrument-rated pilot, Chairman of the board of
directors of the Mutual Security Credit Union and is past Chairman
ADVERTISER INDEX
AFTR���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 1 Johnson Consulting�������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 65
American Cemetery/Mortuary Consultants Inc. (ACMC)������������ 62 Journey to Serve�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 51
American Funeral & Cemetery Trust Services (AFCTS)���������������� 66 Keeper������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 87
Answering Service for Directors (ASD) �������������������������������������������� 90 KMI Columbaria������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 67
Aquamation ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 100 Kryprotek ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 43
Argent Trust. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 Kyber�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 69
Axiom Business Systems ���������������������������������������������������������������������� 11 Matthews Cemetery Products�������������������������������������������������������������� 61
Batesville�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 79 Merendino Cemetery Care ����������������������������������������������������������������� C2
Biondan North America Inc.������������������������������������������������������������������ 3 National Guardian Life Insurance Company (NGL). . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
Bogati Urn Company ���������������������������������������������������������������������������� 68 National Mortuary Shipping (NMS) �������������������������������������������������� 94
C&J Financial, LLC�������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 25 National Museum of Funeral History . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Carrier Mausoleum�������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 51 Nomis Publications�������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 91
Coldspring. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57 Northeast Mausoleum�������������������������������������������������������������������������� 10
Columbarium by Design, LLC �������������������������������������������������������������� 9 OpusXenta ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 70
Continental Computer Corp. �������������������������������������������������������������� 75 Pearl’s Premium Ultra Low-Maintenance Lawn Seed �������������������� 35
Cooperative Funeral Fund Inc. (CFF) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 PlotBox . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
Crowne Vault������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 64 Premier Columbaria���������������������������������������������������������������������������� 100
Custom Air Trays. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 RKS Lanka������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 74
Ensure-A-Seal������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 13 Security National Life Insurance Company. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88
Flowers for Cemeteries�������������������������������������������������������������������������� 92 SEP TECHNOLOGIES INC���������������������������������������������������������������� 76
The Foresight Companies, LLC.��������������������������������������� 89, 91, 93, 95 Shanghai YuanMei Stone Co., Ltd.������������������������������������������������������ 53
Foundation Partners Group������������������������������������������������������������������ 18 SRS Computing�������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 29
Funeral Call Answering Service ���������������������������������������������������������� 69 Strassacker Bronze America, LLC������������������������������������������������������ 90
funeralOne��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� C4 Supply Link—Multiview������������������������������������������������������������������������ 76
Funeral Services, Inc. (FSI) ������������������������������������������������������������������ 77 THE SYSTEM ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 46
Global Bronze������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 71 TribuCast . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
Grever & Ward Inc.�������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 71 The Tribute Companies�������������������������������������������������������������������������� 7
Heritage Flower Company. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Trigard������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 19
Holland Supply Inc.�������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 34 U.S. Metalcraft���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 97
Homesteaders Life Company �������������������������������������������������������������� 73 Vantage Products Corp.������������������������������������������������������������������������ 17
ICCFA Educational Foundation������������������������������������������������������������ 5 VKM International�������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 63
IncredibleBank���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 85 webCemeteries���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 15
Inman Shipping Worldwide������������������������������������������������������������������ 94 The Wilbert Group �������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 21
International Memorialization Supplier Association (IMSA)������� C3 Withum, Smith & Brown, PC�������������������������������������������������������������� 78
www.IMSA-Online.com
IMSA members now get free consultation with Dan Katz & Rolf Gutknecht of LA ads, Jake Johnson
of Johnson Consulting, Ryan Thogmartin of Disrupt Media and Poul Lemasters of Lemasters Consulting.