Love, Intimacy, and Relationship

LOVE, INTIMACY, AND
RELATIONSHIP
BY: MS. M.
LESSON OBJECTIVES:
1. Define terms such as ‘love”, “attraction”, “intimacy”, “relationship”, and
other related terms,
2. Discuss different theories of love,
3. Identify needs, issues, and concerns experienced by people who are in a
romantic relationship, and,
4. Reflect upon one’s attitudes towards love, intimacy, and relationship.
DEFINITION OF TERMS:
• Love – a complex phenomenon characterized by an affective and cognitive
inclination to someone and a set of social behaviors geared towards
cohesion.
• Intimacy – the psychosocial component of love; knowing and being known
by someone in a deeply personal level; emotional closeness and connection
• Passion – the emotive and physical component of love; drive towards
sexual and romantic attraction.
• Commitment – decision to engage and maintain a loving relationship.
• Relationship – social bond between and among individuals manifested
through communication and other forms of interaction. This bond may be
biological or determined by social contracts such as consensus or laws.
INTRODUCTION
In this lesson, we will tackle, perhaps, one
of the most complex and celebrated
human emotion and experience :love.
LOVE AS A HUMAN EXPERIENCE
LOVE IS A HUMAN EXPERIENCE DIFFERENTLY DEFINED AND CONCEPTUALIZED.
• Love as a cultural universal – A cultural universal is a phenomenon experienced similarly

by people across time and culture.
• Love as a social phenomenon – Social phenomena are events which ensue within our
interaction and relationship with other people.
• Love as an emotion – Emotions are physiological responses that we evaluate psychologically
as we experience particular life events.
• Love as a neurobiological event – Every split of second, information is being passed on
within our nervous system.
THEORIZING LOVE – Since love is a rather complex idea, which can be described, defined and experienced in
myriad of ways, several theories and frameworks offer diverse perspectives on how it can be understood and
explained.
• Psychodynamic view on love – posits that we have desires and motives fueled by our life (Eros) and death (Thanatus) instincts.
• Color wheel of love – The primary types are: eros (sexual and romantic), philia (friendly), and storge (parental/filial love). The
secondary types are: pragma (practical love), agape (universal love), and philautia (self love). It is not possible for us to experience not
just one but two or more of these types of love in our lifetime. A child who loves her parents (storge) might eventually find new friends
whom to like once they go to school (philia) and then experience romantic love (eros) especially during her youth.
• Triangular model of love – this theory at love from a psychometric stance, which means that it is generally concerned about trying
to measure love as a psychological variable and in determining the various dimensions and facets that love has as experienced by
people. According to Stenberg (1986), love has three interlocking dimensions—passion, intimacy, and commitment. Passion refers to
physical/emotional aspect. Intimacy pertains to the psychological/relational aspect. Commitment pertains to the agency component, that
is the choice we make with regards to engaging and maintaining the loving relationship. The combination of these dimensions yields a
particular love type. For instance, when there is only passion but no other components, infatuation is formed. When there is only
commitment, there is empty love. However, when there is passion and intimacy, there is romantic love. When there is passion and
commitment, there is ludic love. When there is intimacy and commitment, there is friendly love. When all three components are present,
then we can say that consummate love exists.
• Romantic and companionate love – Romantic love is characterized by intense passion—”a state of intense longing for union with
your partner.” Companionate love is characterized by intense intimacy—emotional closeness—which also characteristic of liking.
• Love languages – there are five love languages; namely, words or affirmation, touch, time, gifts, and acts of service.
LOVE AND INTIMATE
RELATIONSHIPS
• Acquaintance – Intimate human relationships start in acquaintanceship.
• Buildup – Some acquaintanceships build up into deeper relationships.
• Consolidation and Continuation – The third stage of intimate relationship is consolidation.
• Decline or Deterioration – Unfortunately, some intimate partnerships are unable to sustain and
maintain their commitments or attraction.
• Ending – Finally, for those intimate partnerships who are unable to address the causes and
circumstances leading to the deterioration of their relationship, the stages culminate into ending or
termination of the agreements made through informal or formal means.
SUMMARY
Humans are social beings and at the core of this nature is relating and
connecting with others. Central to understanding human relationship
is the concept of love, an experience so abstract yet so meaningful to
many people. But then again, love is diversely defined inasmuch as it
manifest and is experienced in diverse ways.

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What are some of the theories discussed about love?

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LOVE, INTIMACY, AND

• Love as a cultural universal – A cultural universal is a phenomenon experienced similarly

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