Paradise Under

Mother’s Feet
A Discourse on the Role
& Reward ofmothers

H. Y. BABAL-WAIZ

Published by
Tahrike Tarsile Qur’an, Inc.
Publishers and Distributors ofthe Holy Qur 'an
80-08 51st Avenue
Elmhurst, New York 11373
E-Mail: [email protected]
http://www.koranusa.org
 Paradise Under
Mother’s Feet
A Discourse on the Role
& Reward of mothers
H. Y. BABAL-WAIZ

ISBN: 978-0-940368-09-5
Library of Congress Catalog Number: 2015935402
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

Published by
Tahrike Tarsile Qur’an, Inc.
Publishers and Distributors ofthe Holy Qur ’an
80-08 51st Avenue
Elmhurst, New York 11373
E-Mail: [email protected]
http://www.koranusa.org
 CA^a*$\ AiaJ!
PARADISE UNDER MOTHERS’ FEET
A Discourse on the Role & Reward of Mothers

JsS'l jil bb £-uijj £jjujA

H. Y. BABAL-WAIZ

“This book is priceless at a time when the moral stock

index in the world has plummeted as indicated by the
critical hemorrhaging of reverence for mothers, women in
general, and family life; at a time when human values
threaten to reach the level of beasts.... "
— New York Beacon
Copyright © 2010 Third Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,

stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form, or by any
means, electronic, mechanical, recorded, photocopied, or
otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner,
except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

0
Author: H.Y. Babal-Waiz
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 646-316-2758
Publisher: Tahrike Tarsile Qur’an, Inc.
‘Oh my Creator, Oh my Lord, Oh my Allah, forgive us
and our parents, Ameen.’
80-08 51sl Avenue
Elmhurst, NY 11313-4141
Tel: 718-446-6472
Fax:718-446-4370
E-mail: [email protected]
Home Page: ww.koranusa.org
 Praise for “Paradise Under Mothers9 Feet99 from some Mothers
and Children
" Brother Babal-Waiz did an amazing work in highlighting the great roles that
only mothers can fulfill. As a new momther, I could not help but to undergo a
complete definition ofmy roles and expectations as a Muslim mother. Reading his
book gave me a new sense ofmotherhood but most importantly / realized what a
great addition he brings to the Islamic world. His work came in an era where very
rarely Muslim women have found extensively written literature that truly pertains
to them. I thank Allah for granting him the gift to enlighten us with his wisdom.
May Allah make him a channel ofhis wisdom. Amen!!”
— Sister Bincta Diop, Freelance Translator & Interpreter, JARRA
Translation & Business Solutions, Manhattan, New York.
"I believe that this book will be beneficial to all of the Ummah(community) here
and back home, but especially here in the United States where raising a family
takes extra effort and extra love. I am very proud ofyou Bro. Hussein for writing
this book. May Allah bless you and may He make this the beginning ofmany more
things to come. Amen. ”
— Sister Suwaiba Braimah Talikai, Registered Nurse, BSN, Jersey City,
New Jersey.
"As a mother of three, I am deeply touched by the recognition portrayed by
Brother Hussein in his book about us mothers. A role that is unrevised but yet
accomplished by the help of Allah. / am truly flattered by the depth of honesty
showed by the author about his true feelings and points as a son to his mother and
many others. I applaud you Brother Hussein, May Allah help you in exceeding all
your ambitions, accomplishments and endeavors. "
—Hajia Lantana, Registered Nurse, Assistant Director of Nursing, Nurse
Manager and Supervisor, New York.
" This book is very beneficial to children and parents here and those back home.
It will also serve as a guide to upcoming parents on how to train and raise our
children the Islamic way, since we don 7 have the experience our parents had. ”
— Zakiyah Muhammad Abdul Wahab, MSC Mathematics Student,
Youngstown State University, Ohio .
"This book is veiy educating, especially to our children that are born here in the
US. The other part of the book is also very important to us the new/ upcoming
mothers. I encourage every body to read this educating project complied by our
brother in Islam. Brother Hussein has done a very goodjob, may Allah almighty
grant his wish and fulfill his dreams. ”
— Ramatu Ibrahim Dkuta, Author of, "Are our Prayers Answered? ”
Author’s Overview
This lucid and lively piece of literature contains principles
that should govern the relationship between every child
and his/her parents (particularly mothers).

It is interspersed with a repertoire of Qur'anic Code,

Prophetic Wisdom and Scientific Analysis, as well as
fascinating stories. It is also interwoven with captivating
prose, poems and proverbs (quotes) of legendary
intellectuals in English and Arabic as well.

The target group is meant to be the contemporaiy

generation of youth, but a mere glance at this discourse
will appeal to the taste of the adult class and the world of
academia. It is a useful material to be safeguardedfor the
growing infants and the children yet unborn in order to
mold them to be cultured and courteous adults, since they
represent the dynamism, vitality, vivacity and vibrancy of
the human society of the future.
 CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS VII
FOREWORD (I&II) XI
INTRODUCTION 1
1. The Miracle of Pregnancy & Child Birth 6
2. The Role of Parents in Child’s Nurturing 16
3. Impact of Mothers in the lives of some
Eminent Scholars 29
4. Instances of Parental Disobedience, Abuse
and its Demerits 35
5. Instances of Parental Obedience, Respect
and its Benefits 46
6. Quranic Injunctions on Parental Obedience 55
7. Ahadith (Wisdom) on the effects of Parental
Disobedience 62
8. Factors that bring about good Parental Tutelage 71
9. Useful tools towards Parental Obedience 92
10. Death, a wake-up call towards Parental Obedience 99
References 103

V
 DEDICATION

/ hereby dedicate this book to my mother Hajia

Khadijah Ahmed, my late grandmothers, Hajia Kanday,
Hajia Aishatu Mairiga, my father Alhaji Yushau
Babal-Waiz, the late grandfathers Alhaji Ahmed Yaro,
Sheikh Ahmed Babal-Waiz and to all mothers who have
sacrificed and suffered in the course of raising their
children from Eve (ofAdam )to the last mother on earth.

VI

i
 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To Allah be the tremendous glory and gratitude for granting me the

inspiration that enabled me to communicate these ideas to the
readers, and I also praise his Prophet Muhammad whose Ahadith
and the Our'cin have added value to this book, making it worth
reading, reflecting and rewarding.

I am indeed highly indebted with profound appreciation and

gratefulness to my Scholars, Mentors, Friends and Brothers who
have helped overtly or covertly in a bid to see this piece of work
come to fruition. Below are the enumerated personalities referenced
in the preceding paragraphs.

My First and foremost gratitude goes to my teacher and cousin,

Shiekh Imam Muhammad Masrur Ibrahim, Imam of Al-Huda
Masjid, for boosting my moral and giving innovative ideas to make
my premiere publication out-standing and appealing. To my teacher
and brother Shiekh Abdul Muhaimin Ladan, Imam of Ibadur-
Rahaman Ass. Inc. who gave me so much encouragement and
went extra-mile to assign one of his High School Students to type
the script for me when I could only type at the ‘snails’ pace. He
also helped arranged pages and converted it into printable document.

Shiekh Muhammad Lamin Hussain, an eloquent Quranic Interpreter

from Ghana who proof-read the Arabic text and corrected the
‘typos’ and also encouraged me to keep this effort up and produce
more titles in the near future. I would also like to express my
gratitude to Shiekh Abdullahi Gambo Chief Imam of Yankasa
Association of USA, INC. who reviewed the manuscript and wrote a
very fascinating recommendation encouraging people to patronize
the book.

VII
 I would be remiss if I don’t mention the immense contribution
Shiekh Abdul Rahaman Yaaki, President of Ibadur-Rahaman Ass.
Inc. offered in proof-reading both the Arabic and English text and
pin-pointed gray areas that needed restructuring.

A special thanks go to Shiekh Firdaws Ladan, an articulate cleric,

adviser, role model, an exorcist, a colleague journalist and an author
of, Quran, Science and the Secrets of the Unseen World, who proof­
read, sub-edited and typed-set the manuscript. Brother Hafiz Issah
Lamin Yusif also helped to locate Quranic Chapters and verses that I
used in the book, by virtue of his high retentive memory of the book
of Allah. I also thank Shiekh Iddriss Ibrahim for his invaluable
advice and encouragement that have reinvigorated my zeal and
enthusiasm to deliver this work. Mai lam Suraju Yahuza Hassan and
Bro. Rashid Yushau Babal-Waiz also offered their positive views
for the betterment of this project. May Allah reward them all.

Alhaji Tanko Boby, a member of the Yanakasa Assoc. Council of

elders also offered financial support when the going was getting
tough for me, may Allah protect and bless him. Mention should be
made of my mentors in Ghana, they are; Shiekh Ishaque Ibrahim
Nuamah, who authored, The Fruits of Wisdom, Alhaji Muhammad
Braimah Yusif, who authored, Muhammad the Comforter, and
Alhaji Sulaiman Ibrahim(Archimedes). They all set the pace for me.

Brother Abdulah Ahmed also helped by scanning the back ground

picture as well as Bro. Muhammed Lamin Ali for his proof-reading
effort. My special thanks to Dr. Fuseini Fawzi Muhammed, a
medical Doctor based in Connecticut and Florida and Shiekh
Ahmed Mohammed Awal, a Scholar on Science and Comparative
Religions who reviewed the manuscript and sent a charming and
fascinating recommendation respectively.

VIII

i
The last but not the least is Dr.Raji Ayinla, Director, Bronx Islamic
Cultural Center, who sub-edited the final manuscript especially
the first chapter, which dwells on his area of specialty and
also wrote a catchy and captivating forward for this book, Jazaaka
Laahu Khairal-Jazah/(May Allah bless you).

I also appreciate the encouragement and support I received from

mothers such as sister Suwaiba Braimah Talikai and Hajia Lantana
and her three children who happened to be my students. Together
with the children, these mothers sent very fascinating comments
praising the book, may Allah reward you.

A special gratitude to my father and a special mentor, an expert in

Arabic language and an authority in Quranic Interpretation, Al-
shiekh Ustaz Yahaya Muhyi Deen Babal-Waiz who edited the
Arabic poems, placed appropriate signs on them and provided guide
lines on the best approach in translating and paraphrasing those
poems and prose culled from other sources and documented here.

Tremendous heartfelt gratitude goes to my Ghanaian Scholars and

parents for the role they played in my life; they are Al-khalifah
Shiekh Muhammad Mustapha Kaamil Amin, Ustaz Ali Adam Amir,
Shiekh Hassan Wahid, Shiekh Mustapha Ibrahim of ICODEHS and
Alhaji Muhammed Abdul Wahab, Watania School Board Chairman.
It is through their efforts, dedication, commitment and support that I
had my basic Islamic/Arabic and secular education that enabled me
to deliver sermons, speak and write in Arabic. May Allah prolong
their lives and shower his blessings on them.

To all others who also helped in diverse ways, that lack of space
could not permit me to mention all your names, may Allah reward
you. When you wake up at fajir (dawn) by the crow of the cock,

IX
after the launch of this book, then consider this as a symbol of my
gratitude and gratefulness.

Finally, I implore prospective readers to pray for my late grand

father, Shiekh Ahmed Babal-Waiz, one of the most celebrated and
renowned Ghanaian Scholars and founder of the ever popular
Watania Islamic School which has produced hundreds of scholars,
currently propagating the message of Islam in Ghana and abroad.

He died in the early eighties after laying a good foundation for our
fathers and for us, the up-and-coming ones and upon whose legacy
that we strive to tread .

Shiekh Babal-Waiz had written and produced about 35 books in

Arabic language mainly on Islamic, intellectual, social, spiritual and
moral code of ethics. As the wise says:” Man proposes but God
disposes”. We Insha Allah proposed to jointly translate (with our
teacher and cousin, Shiekh Mohammed Masrur Ibrahim and twin
brother Al-hassan Yushau Babal-Waiz,also a Journalist) some of
these books, by virtue of the fact that the topical issues discussed in
them will be of much benefit to our contemporary generation of the
Muslim Ummah.

X
 FOREWORD (I)

In The Name of ALLAH, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise

be to Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the earth and all that exist
between them. I testify that there is no deity worthy of worship
except Allah and Mohammed is His messenger.

Brothers and sisters in Islam, we are all aware that Muslims in the
Diaspora struggle to raise their children according to the teachings
of Islam while fighting off opposing forces that are fundamentally
designed to corrupt the minds of their children. This leads to
deterioration in parent/child relationships; hence there is an urgent
need to reeducate our children on child/parent relationship. It is
therefore gratifying to note that Brother Babal-Waiz has taken up
this responsibility by publishing this wonderful book.

The most important quality of this book which has impressed me

and hopefully prospective readers is his style of writing which
combined poetry, real life experiences, current affairs with
quotations from authentic Ahadith and Quran. The book is
comprehensive in its scope and exhaustive in its content. I am sure
that readers will not only enjoy reading this book, they will also find
it most inspiring and rewarding.

Dr Mohammed Raji Ayinla. FCCP,FAAC.

Director, Bronx Islamic Cultural Center (Masjid Annasr), Assistant. .
Professor of Medicine, Mt. Sinai School of Medicine and Director,
Graduate Medical Education, North General Hospital, New York.

XI
 FOREWORD (II)

I have carefully reviewed the book Paradise under Mothers’ Feet

and found it well written, educative and fascinating with vital
information students of various academic levels might need.
Therefore, every person who is interested in understanding how
Islam laid down facts about children-parents relations from cradle to
adulthood should use this book as a reference.

May Allah reward the author of this book tremendously for the
magnificent effort he made in putting up various quotations together
to serve the purpose it was intended for. May He also reward all
those who read it and ponder on its meanings.

Sheikh Abdullahi Gambo

Islamic Studies teacher at Andalusia School of Yonkers; Chief

Imam of Yankasa Association of U.S.A; and special advisor to the
United States Department of Justice in Islamic related matters.

29 Ramadan, 1429.
September 29, 2008.

Xll
M—O—T—H—E—R
{Mercy} {Old} {Tears} {Heart} {Eyes} {Right}

|MJ—is for the mercy in millions that she gives.

|OJ—means only that she’s growing old.

[T|—is for the tears she shed to save me.

[H|—is for her heart of purest gold.

|E|— is for her eyes with love-light shining.

[R|—means right, and right she will always be.

Put them all together, they spell “MOTHER”,
a word that means the world to me.
—Howard Johnson (1915).

XIII
 iii aaImj b! Ui cA^lc. 4>' fcU 6! Ui”
dijA^Jl----

“For real the wares or supplies of Allah are expensive

and the supplies of Allah is Paradise.”

M "
v^n.Vkll----

“Paradise is under Mothers’ Feet”.

."•JiVl JJ 1> Ai. tiill J b!"

Aoajj (jjl 1 ^avladl----

“There is a Paradise in this world, He who does not enter it, will not
enter Paradise of the last day.”

l Uu.Hl fk.\t \ QJ* J Aulkjl Gb> &j!\ LJ.VbUjj

lljjdl (JA jp> QA (JAJ&
4uadl lAuJlill AxluJl
J* JJ3^----

Mothers of the past generation saw Heaven in their hearts, and they
belittle the luxuries of this world. Why not? After all a vault or an
arc of each one of them in Heaven is better than this world and all
what is in it. For they prepared for this expensive wares of Heaven
with their work.
 AiaJ! Aallill 4jlLuJ|

c_5lc. AjIIc. ^-iji [Jj A CjjuJ 4jlL-j Ij

ol2l V fcadj III UdV» ^ lg lln l>^ (jUaa/^ll AjuLu Ij

(jUuc-Vl £-0 (_£^Ijl Vi liLo ^jUa2fc.^il AjlLj Ij

(jljfj'vll 4-lalo iJpljVi (jJJ •MS tiia^xj <kioj Ij

jjUojV^ <->ajjIj Cliija^c. ^aia (jji ^jUaSh^ll 4jlLj Ij

{jlfLol jJ CjjaII (_i^3 ^—lialk (j-o <Jfc (jUoSkjll 4jlLj Ij

jUjUI 1 jJ j L^Vic. <__A Jn^k (Jl i. a.ift (jUa^.^11 4jtUj Ij

<jli^V' ojlSi (JSj I’jvru i^i Uji o^j51

M <jj^lll oJLu-«aall,,c (_jj! (JjlaJI ^Lo^l----

It indicates that, the commodity of Allah is Paradise and is

affordable only to those who are determined to abide by the rules of
Allah and are not lazy. The bliss of Paradise could be obtained by
only one and not two out of thousand. Any one who wants these
wares should act fast to purchase before he dies.

XV
fj
 INTRODUCTION

Since the inception of creation, which Allah initiated with Adam and
created our grand Mother Hciwwa’ or Eve (in the biblical context)
from his ribs, Allah had made Mothers our main source of life. They
delivered the prophets and nurtured them as well as the great
Scihcibah, the Taabi’in (the second generation of Muslims) and the
legendry men that have transformed the socio-cultural, political,
spiritual, intellectual, economic and scientific landscape of the entire
world. Mothers have within them an in-built instinct of love, care,
compassion, sympathy and empathy towards children and these out­
standing qualities of mothers do not manifest in their opposite
gender, (men) by virtue of the fact that, it is an involuntary system
that had been exclusively imbedded in them by Allah the Al-mighty,
the ever compassionate, omnipotent and omnipresent.
According to Dr. Aminah Bilal Philips in his book: 11 JW1"
(Methodology of Quranic Interpretation) religion comes from the
Latin root word; religare, meaning “to bind” and therefore by
implication, “AD-DEENIt is said by some Arabic grammarians
and Quranic Interpretation to drive from “al-dayn” which means
“debt”, Aldin, therefore means the repaying of your dept to God
and the process consist of out entire day to day life and one of the
most important form of this debt that we have to pay to Allah
indirectly should be paid directly to our parents especially
mothers who are the main source of our existence on this earth.
Hence Islam being a complete way of life has strongly advocated
obedience to parents in various specific Quranic injunctions and
Authentic Ahadith (traditions) of the Holy Prophet Muhammad
(S.A.W.)
Even the secular societies appreciate the tremendous role mothers
play in the life of mankind, no wonder the US and a number of other
countries celebrate mothers day on second Sunday in May of every

1
year and this was initiated as early as 1900s by a woman named,
Anna Chaves who began a campaign to honor mothers in America.
She spoke with friends, and friends of friends, she wrote to
congressmen, local leaders, teachers, and news paper publishers.
Finally President Wilson signed a resolution in May of 1914 that
officially established Mothers’ day. Anna Chaves thought women
should be honored with expressions of love and respect. However in
spite of the effort they put in place and the huge sacrifices they made
and still making in the course of nurturing and raising their kids,
there were and still are a thousand and one cases or instances of
disobedience, disrespect and abuse towards them. According to
BBC Radio Magazine program entitled:”Ca/7/7g for the Elderly”,
which was moderated by Stephen Nolam June 2007, about a quarter
of a million of elderly through the United Kingdom are being
abused by their own children and there are perhaps far more than
this figure existing elsewhere in this world.
In the United States many people move their parents to nursing
iomes to be taken care of by homecare attendants and many were
instances of abuse, maltreatment and molestation meted out to them
by these home health aides. Most of these people do not visit or
even call them; they think they have nothing to benefit from them.
In the far East Indian province, dozens of cases were reported of
children abandoning their mothers out of their houses in order to
develop modem buildings for themselves.
Dozens of cases could also be recalled in the US where children
would call 911 or the police for their parents for the “crime” of
correcting or disciplining them in order to be good and cultured
individuals in future.

One would wonder why on earth, the youth in America could have
the gut to put-up a program on a television net work, where it serves

2
as a forum for several young guys to appear, willing to talk in a
very derogatory, insulting, and sexually perverted manner against
each other’s mothers, without feeling shame of themselves or shy of
the on-lookers audience.

It is upon these various incidents of violation, disobedience,

disrespect and abuse towards parents that I attempt this in-depth,
research in order to refresh the mind of the youth and the up-and-
coming generation about their duties and responsibilities toward
their parents, especially mothers as was sanctioned by the Quran
and the Simnah of the Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.).

And due to the obvious significance of this title, I consulted a

professional translator to translate it into French and Spanish and
will, God willing undergo translation in other major international
languages sooner or later, with the view to have an international
circulation.
I therefore pray to Allah, the Almighty to enable the youth in
particular read and reflect soberly and thereby pay heed to the
various advices offered by the Quranic injunction and the Ahadith
that touched on the merits and demerits of parental obedience and
disobedience respectively.

3
 pLLSM SUa. AJjia
^i Ti**t i^lWt < c**m! i 4*1x1

jAjj 4ji Ulja (> tgJ

Ig jk iSJ<& jl J-uajh
jJaj l^-La (jjauaP (jaS
i ^iVl cLLi& diluk ^£j
JJ^UJ c*La] V) tA Laj
|i mfln ^Ll£!LuU IaA dLlJL&J^

ji& iiL j3 Lijli LjjJj (j^j

I^Jdlj]aC>ij t-ib.1 -v S^a

jJlus duij lalLuilj Ulla

4jl^2k diiu/l LqJ lg,^.waa
j*uaS jAj jaVI iLk. cJUaj ■
l$j4^ jajjj <Jk ili
^xuaj ^Aj LaSaII ljaC'V ilJ
^oac- ^ ukjli dljjia
jjSa 4ui| jPAj Ia] duli

This poem gives a graphic description about the sort of painful and
sacrificial effort a mother underwent in order to nurture a child. It
mentioned how a mother cleaned her baby’s waste; breast fed the
baby and even slept without food just to feed the baby. And finally
cautioned against disobeying her.
4 WaIIj <Lai tj^A £jiuj o 4jjj qa Aljll £ jLi
(jXAJJ&il jdUfl (Jjl .14^4 ju-uJI 4*a^ju11 ^Jbdl —
A child comes out from his father through Pleasure and comes out
from the mother through Pain.

4
 My Miracle Mother

Mom, I look at you, and see a walking miracle

Your unfailing Love without limit,
Your ability to soothe my every hurt,
The way you are on duty, unselfishly,
Every hour every day,
Makes me so grateful.
That I am yours and you are mine.
With open arms and open heart,
With enduring patience and inner strength,
You gave so much for me,
Sometimes at your expense.
You are my teacher, my comforter, my encourager
appreciating all, forgiving all.
Some times I took you for granted Mom,
But I don’t now, and I never will again.
My miracle, my mother.

-Joanna Fuchs.

5
 Chapter One

The Miracle of Pregnancy and Child Birth

“Before you were conceived I wanted you.

Before you were born I loved you.
Before you were here an hour 1 would die for you.
This is the miracle of Life. "
Mauree Hawkins

A miracle is an extra-ordinary, uncanny, mysterious and unique

phenomenon that is exclusively confined to Allah, and He alone
owns the discretional power to perform this miracle in the entire
universe.
Allah utilized four different methodologies in his human creation;
the prime creature, father of mankind Adam was created without
mother and father from clay (earth). His wife Hawwah was created
from him without a mother, and Jesus was also created without a
father. The rest of mankind were all created and are still being
created from mothers and fathers.
Scientists revealed that, the earth constitute 18 different elements of
minerals some of which are iron, copper, calcium and magnesium.
All these elements are found in the human body. This obviously is
an absolute proof that mankind was created from the earth.
A sober reflection on the intricate engineering dynamics that
Allah adopted in the process of human formulation and
reproduction attest to the fact that, it is Allah alone who is the
embodiment of perfection to perform this miracle. This chapter will
deal with some of this process at length.
Talking about creation, Allah, the Al-mighty has elaborated vividly
in the Holy Quran in Suratul - Muminun, (the Believers).

6
chapter 23-verses-12-14, where He says:

i ^ oIiIa-v |xJ tQjia (j-o (jUuijUl Ual^. Aa] j )

Ujl^a lilkc. aI^W lASUi <L-^ <£1aJI ajSc. aSUll Ualk J
aiii ^ o^i fti a^ga >1 im iufoi £ ujj eu~j!
(.uj^ ^12M uj^

“J'Fe created mankind from a progeny and from clay (epitome of

day) Then we placed him as (a drop of) sperm in a place of rest
firmly fixed. Then we made the sperm into a clot of a congealed
blood; then of that dot we made of (f etus) lumps; them we made out
of that lump bones and clothed the bones with flesh: Then we
developed out of it a different creature, so blessed be Allah, the Best
to create. And after which you would die. And you would be
resurrected on the Day ofJudgment. ” The hadith that agrees with
this verse was narrated by Abi Abdul Rahman Abdallah Bin Masood
may Allah be pleased with him said: The Prophet may the peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him said:

( A\\ (_) C \x At.a 4_io <il]l JytUAA Jh\ .LiC- <jc.

4_i3 <illl3 Jxo 4juJa-Q ^1313 (JLq

Jl 41'^ 1 j <LaC.j li*\i CjI.'aK

“Verily the creation of each one ofyou is brought together in his

mother’s belly forforty days in the form ofseed (sperm).
He would become a leech-like object and after which would be
transformed in a congealed blood .And then life would be injected

1
into him and he would be commanded with four matters: His
means of livelihood (daily bread) his work, life span, and whether
happy or unhappy, (rascal). ”
Based on the above verse and the hadith,a renowned Islamic Scholar
from Pakistan ,Abu A’la A1 Maududi in his Quranic Interpretation
entitled; The Meaning of The Quran, published in Lahore,
Pakistan in 1994, observed that the entire process of human creation
was in three steps:

1. The initiation of creation (that is upon conception of a woman).

2. The formation or perfection (from a clot of blood to a full fledge
human body).
3. Bringing to life (where Allah injects life into the body).
The most celebrated 21sl century Quranic Interpreter par excellence,
Shiekh Muhammad Mutawwalii Sha’raawii, an Egyptian analyzed
in his book entitled:
11 jlll SjaJua "

4JL32II 4jIc- ^ya AjlLL ^_ya c La (_ya < "jaR La*a "

oJA (JKuZJ # €■ j I Jxj ^ya (JILuj! ^A aJLsUI AaIslJI o2A m aJjyd! Y

.ly7i ejUa Mil o cJaxJI ^3 IJjj ^

(J£Juj o^yl&Jl LaJJc. Ijl LhJj (jl 4jlUt o3A fjl

,U* (Jl±j ' Ajj JLLj l^JaxJj ''tic. , LUad ^JLLi l3'

jl «*V iyb (JLlU if* <_*■% .uy^J udL2j ULJj Jybc. ^JLLj LyJ=^j
cUZy/ ij£j5La <£iII <jid ^3 <J<JI jAa (ji jyJ !3£aj # UUI <JLul
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n cjy9 Ul jAA yLajI ojjtiJ! LaJj^j (^A AjjJcYI ■ Aj 4JuU

“Miracle of the Qur’an” that?Every one should take Jew seconds

and ponder over what he or she was created from. From a
discharged (water) substance, from cell so minute and microscopic
that it could not be seen by the naked eyes... But that your

8
 originci/or, Allah the Almighty in the powers vested into himself,
formulated these cells in their minute forms to he the basic matter
that initiates the very life of mankind after he created Adam and
Eve. It would move along its path without any control to do anything
by itself So When the power of Allah moves it (cell), part of it would
create bones, part would form muscles, part would make nerves,
part would carve the mind,(brains)part would craft the lungs,
formulate the heart and part would create the eyes, tongue, lips,
hands and legs. The rest will finally remain in baby's body to serve
as the source of development or growth from strength to strength
after the baby is born. And at the same time we see this cell, in its
minutest form creates millions of things that are made up in the
human body and all what the body needs in it to live. All these show
or indicate an absolute engineering skill that is only in the domain
and dominance ofAllah, the Al-mighty. "
We are all created from billions of cells and at the center of each one
are the instructions (from Allah) and the blue print for building our
bodies just stored in a form of a chemical called DNA.
The renowned American Writer and Motivational Speaker, Dr.
W.W. Dyer provided an interesting analysis which buttressed the
above verse of the Ouran and the wisdom of the prophet that comes
with it. He said in his book entitled: The Power of Intention, that:
”There is what some people call, a future-pull in DNA that is
present at conception in each of us. In the moment of our
conception, when an infinitely tiny drop of human protop!asm(a
living substance inside the cell, it compose of nucleic acids,
proteins, lipids, carbohydrates and inorganic salts) combines with
an egg, life in physical form begins, and God directs the growth
process of our body structures, the shape of our physical features,
our development including our aging are intended in that one
moment of conception, the sagging (floppy or droopy) skin, the
wrinkles and even our death are all there. ”

9
Conmientan1 & Analysis\

Science has established that just within 10 days of fertilization the

mother’s hormones will begin to show changes in her body, the
embryo elongates after 2 weeks.
Then after 4 weeks the embryo begins to formulate eyes and other
organs. After 5 weeks the nose begins to take shape, at 6 weeks, the
embryo becomes half an inch long and after 7 weeks the embryo
could move its hands with clearly defined fingers, Its internal organs
are visible, the eyes are formed at 8 weeks, the fingers of the hands
are well defined at 10 weeks, the Embryo is considered a fetus and
can move actively. At 11 weeks it increases by 2 and half inches
long and at 12 weeks 3 inches long, by 14 weeks its palms are
formulated. By 15 weeks the sensory organs are nearly completely
formed and by 17 weeks it is actively turning inside the mother’s
womb. At this time it begins to make strange sounds referred to as
“fetal respiration”. With eyes closed though it could see. It receives
food from the mother through the umbilical cord and returns its
waste through the same cord. At this stage all its physiological
features are fully developed but it takes another 8 weeks for the
fetus to have a remote chance of surviving outside its mother’s
womb. The growth in this fetal stage is silent and unseen.
The fetus is protected in the mother’s womb like a king in a castle: It
is firmly fixed and gets the protection of the mother’s body on
which it depends for its own growth until birth. Believe it or not, in
all the above mentioned processes, the mother feels the impact
physically, physiologically and psychologically in her body due to
hormonal changes, leading to nausea, vomiting, fatigue, queasy
feeling, bloating, flatulence, frequent urination and mood swings.
Eventually the fetus is ready to be delivered, the uterus begins its
powerful contraction and the process of birth begins. At this point
the sort of severe pain that mothers undergo is highly unbearable,

10
upon delivery, Allah the Merciful and Al-Mighty makes the woman
produce chemicals in her body that defuses this pain as a sort of
immediate post-natal Anesthesia. This and the joy of a new bom
baby placed in her fold would make her resist the pains she
underwent and thereby disguise her mind from anxiety to go through
another reproductive process in the future.

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide

for ever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”
— Elizabeth Stone.

Post-natal Pains, Depression and Desperation

Statistics have it that half a million Mothers die during pregnancy

and child birth each year and four million new bom babies die in the
first month of life. In the United Kingdom alone, about 268 of
women’s death were directly related to pregnancy between 1994 and
1996. According to the world health organization, on the global
scale, 1600 women a day die from complications of pregnancy and
child birth, making an annual toll of at least 585000 deaths. In
addition, more than 50 million women suffer from complications
which lead to long-term health problems including infertility and
permanent incontinence (inability to control excretions and urine).
Every year, 100,000 women across the developing world find their
lives destroyed by “obstetric fistula”, an injury sustained by
obstructed labor. They become incontinent and are often ostracized
(hated or not accepted) by their community. It was discovered that
many mothers and their babies die because of simple things like a
lack of certain vitamins or because their labors were too long and
they needed medical intervention such as caesarian section or
excessive bleeding.
Around one in ten mothers suffer from post-natal depression after

11
having a baby. If untreated can last for months or sometimes longer.
Some mothers could be on anti-depressants for up to six months to
avoid excessive feelings of anxiety, guilt, uncertainty, loss of control
or other emotions that refuse to go away.
It is not surprising that 50 percent of women in the western world
say they have had some forms of negative feelings about being
mothers. A recent poll conducted by the website,net-mums.com in
which women answered questions about how they felt after having
a baby, suggests that the condition is far more widespread, affecting
about 52 percent of women. In majority of cases, the mother's stress
is linked to baby’s allergies.
A survey done by the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation)
suggested that, 44% of post-natal depression cases are being
concealed from visitors, because many women fear that, their
children would be taken away from them if they admitted having the
problem, just imagine (in spite of their anxiety) how they feel for
their new bom not to fall in the hands of foster mothers, who would
not have human feelings and empathy as they naturally have for
their babies. The facts and figures further revealed that, around 1
in every 7 women experience some type of mental heath problem
during or after pregnancy, ranging from mild depression, anxiety,
and post traumatic stress to psychotic disorders including bipolar
disorder and schizophrenia. This can cause considerable distress for
the mother, affecting obstetric outcomes, development of the child
and creating tremendous stress and anxiety for family members.

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. l!?-jll J£- ol$ji IjllS
From the Mass Media
According Doctors, a woman is more capable of resisting pains than
a man. When asked why? They said, labor pains is enough a prove.

12
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4 . ^>l-v ^jj AUl .lliC.-----

The theme of the above poem also revolves around dishonor and
humiliation toward parents, it was composed by a Sahabi (baid-Lah
Bin Khalsah) after he came to the Prophet crying, the Prophet asked
him why he was crying, and he said my son used to be poor and 1
used to be rich, he used to be weak and I used to be strong.
However, when I became poor and he became rich, I became
weak and he became strong, he refused to help me with his money.
The prophet then sent the man to call his son. Before he and his son
reach the Prophet, Allah sent down Angel Gabriel to tell the Prophet

13
that, when they reach him, he should ask the father what he was
reciting in his heart on their way to him. So upon arrival the Prophet
did ask him and he said: “By Allah I was talking to my son and
reciting this poem that goes:

Ifed you before you were born (through the umbilical cord).
When you were in pain I do not sleep.
Because ofyour plight, 1 remain sleepless turning around,
As if l was the one in pain.
My heart bleeds in fear ofyour death.
Even Though 1 know that death is matter of time.
However when you grew up or you mature,
You preferred insult and abusive attitude as my reward,
As ifyou were the one who raised me.
But woe onto you ifyou do not recognize my effort in raising you,
As a mere neighbor will relate to me.
And you truly related to me as a neighbor.
Remember I spent my money on you.
But you are now refusing to spend on me or being stingy to me.

Upon reciting this poem, the Prophet could not hold his tears and
pulled the boy closer to him saying: “My son, there is no rock, or
tree or a body of rain water on this earth presently that does not wail
and weep for this act of contempt towards your father, give your
father what he asked from your money, for you and your money
belongs to your father.” The above poetic description is what
mothers really go through in their effort towards raising children.

A mother is like a Tree, all her parts are useful for her children

This beautiful story entitled: “An Old Tree”, which has appeared in
several books of oral history and Arabic literature. It involves a case

14
of boy who was playing with an apple tree, he would climb up and
down, playing on the tree and it branches. When he grew up and
begins to struggle for life, looking for means of livelihood, the tree
became sad, because the boy do not come to her any more. The boy
however paid a visit to the tree after a long absence. She asked him:
“Why did you stop coming to me?” He said: “I used to play with
you when I was young, but now I am a grown person.” She said:
“OK, sit and lets have a chat.” He said: “ I can’t sit because 1 need
money to solve my problems.” She said: “ But 1 have no money to
help you with, take as many apple as you want from me and go and
sell them to make money and use it for your needs.” The boy
climbed on the three and harvested many of the apples, went to the
market and sold them. He begins to make use of the money. He later
mature and about to get married, and wanted to build a house for his
family. He came back to the big old tree and told her: “I want to get
married, but I don’t have materials to build a house for my family.”
The tree told him: “You know, I’ve been helping you since you were
young, so just cut my branches and use them to build your house.”
He cut the branches, gathered them, and built his house.
Few days later, a heavy wind storm invaded the town and destroyed
the building. The man wanted to have something to climb on, in
order to walk on the river, so he again came to the tree and told her
to help him be able to cross the river. She said,: “ This is the only
remaining part of me, I gave you all my apples and my branches, so
take half of me and build a boat to enable you walk on the river.”
He cut the tree to half and built a boat with it. Later when he grew
old he came to the tree again and requested from her : “I am now too
old and would like your permission to always come to lean on you,
in order to take rest and enjoy fresh air.” The tree said,: “ No
problem! You are always welcome, and ‘am always there for you.”
This tree symbolizes the mother, who always gives to her children,
going extra miles to please them, and does not take from them.

15
 Chapter Two
The role of Parents in Child Nurturing

“So when the great word” Mother! ” rang once more,

1 saw at last its meaning and its place;
Not the blind passion of the brooding past,
But Mother ....the World's Mother ....come at last,
To love as she had never loved before....
To feed and guard and teach the human race. ”
— Charlotte Perkins Gilman.

A man after getting married to a woman is blessed by Allah when he

caused the woman to conceive or become pregnant; his blessing is
enhanced even more. According to a Ghanaian Scholar, Ustaz
Ahmed Saeed, the father feels the impact of his wife’s pregnancy
physiologically. He experiences a feverish condition and cold
symptoms indicating that, a drop of his sperm in her womb has
started a process of transformation into a human creature like him.
He made this observation at his Ramadan Tafsir (Quranic
Interpretation) in Kumasi, Ghana in the late nineties. However, as
the renowned Saudi Scholar, the late Sheikh Muhammad Bin Saleh
Al-Othaimeen observed; “A child comes out from the father through
pleasure and comes out from his mother through pain." Upon
conception she begins to feel unbearable pains, but she places
herself in a position of security, comfort and convenience to her
offspring. She sacrifices delicacies and any meal that will endanger
the development of the child yet unborn.
After delivery a child is incapable of feeding him or herself, so she
spoon feeds and breastfeeds him. It is through breast feeding that the
child begins to develop a close relationship with his mother. A close
observation at a mother breast feeding her baby attest to this fact.

16
 After the baby takes a short break and releases her nipple from his or
her mouth, one would see the child smiling at the mother, the child
by doing so is expressing his or her appreciation for her care,
though non-verbally. Some analysts even say this love begins right
from the womb because he eats from what she eats, through the
umbilical cord. As an American think tank puts it, “If you are in
your mother’s womb you have a five star (Hotel) treatment, a full
Jleclge treatment and as soon as you get separated from her, on the
first day of your birth as you come out of her, you ciy so hard,
thinking you are going to loose that Jive star treatments”. But your
mother relieves you from this fear by her unique treatment out of her
womb like a fragile egg.
Upon various interviews with some mothers, it was revealed that,
when a breast feeding mother goes out and leaves her baby home,
the moment he feels hungry and begins to cry, her nipples would
start releasing milk, (simultaneously) regardless of the distance
between her and the baby. If she feels the drip of her milk, she
would rush home to feed her baby. If the baby is contented, the milk
stops flowing. It later begins to flow when the baby feels hungry.
Allah did program the child, since he was in his mother’s womb,
with his sensory organs to be able to know or feel her temperature,
so whenever he cries and a different woman takes him on her chest
to breast feed him, he would continue to cry because he does not
feel the same temperature that he knows his mother with. And
interestingly also if the mother comes and put him on her back, he
would feel the same as he feels with the strange woman, because he
is not familiar with the back temperature, and it is only when she
place him on her chest to breast feed him, that he would keep mute
and stops crying. Subhana-lah! (To God be the glory) Imagine a
“magnetic reaction” between a mother and her child in spite of her
absence. And whenever the baby cries it is only the mother’s breast
that consoles him or her.

17
The temperature level of the mother’s milk is the same as that of the
baby’s body through the period of breast feeding. Allah created the
breast to produce warm milk in winter and cold milk in summer for
the baby. In other words, the mother’s milk tend to adjust to the
seasonal weather to provide comfort to the baby. The milk (with
water) contains components such as; iron, calcium, magnesium and
different kinds of vitamins that help in the physical development of
the child, and help produce strong tooth for him or her and serve as
an immune system against diseases during infancy.
She always prays to Allah to guide and guard him against all evil.
Days and Nights go by and she continues to be at the baby’s
services, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week .It is not a 9 to
5 kind of work, where she punch in and out or swipe in and out, but
every day until the child reaches the weaning period.
Breast-feeding is the most priceless gift of love from mother to their
children that last a lifetime. The child inherits a myriad of qualities
from the mother during this moment ranging from compassion,
sympathy, patience and many more. A recent scientific research
established that, increased breast feeding by a mother during the
first months of life appears to raise a child’s verbal IQ(Intellectual
Quotient),according to a study of nearly 14,000 children released on
May 5th 2008 and published on a website, “amNY.com” in an article
on health. The study in the United States Archives of General
Psychiatry found that 6-years-olds whose mothers were part of a
program that encourage them to breast-feed had a verbal IQ that was
7.5 points higher than children in a control group. The results echo
smaller previous studies that found children and adults who were
breast-fed tend to have higher IQs than who were not.
The author Michael Kramer, a professor of pediatrics at McGill
University in Montreal, said the IQ improvements were modest and
might not be noticeable on an individual basis. But he added that the
increase could have a significant effect on society as a whole.

18
“We’re not talking about making a child who has trouble in school
and is dropping out into genius”, he said. “But if we can increased
IQ by three to four points in the whole population we can have
fewer children at the low end and more Einstein’s at the high end.”
The above analysis presupposes that, children who are not breast-fed
could not be equated with those breast-fed in terms of intellectual
capacity, and every child should count him or herself blessed to
have had the chance to enjoy this invaluable “mobile fountain” of
mothers that makes a tremendous impact in the child’s physical,
psychological, physiological and intellectual quotient. In the sense
that, some mothers in the modem world would prefer to feed their
baby with artificial milk with the view to maintain their physical
outlook. It was further revealed that most of the children with
deviant behavior were fed with caw milk when they were babies and
that is why they behave like animals without any sympathy and
courtesy to their parents. This is even so common in the western
societies.
A mother is the most priceless treasure that one could ever think of
on this earth. She is always twinkling as a morning star and
sparkling as a diamond and glittering as a golden ornament.
She guides against anything no matter how small it is in a bid to
protect her baby. Many were instances she spent sleepless nights as
a result of pains during the stages of her baby’s transformation. In
fact pens and papers are incapable of recording this form of pain.
She cried inwardly and outwardly on several occasions, saw herself
on the verge of death, until this little baby of hers came out of this
world.

“There will never be a pillow in this world more comfortable

and convenient than the lap of mothers.”
— Vernon Jordan

19
 Ponder over these wonders of Mothers

So many years have past, when she would carry you on her back or
chest, you defecate on her, she washes you with her bear hands, and
she made a special cradle for you on her bed. Her chest serves as
source of food. She appears happy always and takes delight in doing
things that will ensure your well being. In her heart beams a light of
sincere love, sympathy, empathy, affection and compassion. She is
an embodiment of kindness and consideration. She is like a tree that
bears a healthy and well natured seeds and fruits.
Remember when you feel sick and cannot sleep, she also spends
sleepless night, eager to see you in good shape. She would drop
tears upon tears when you are not responding to treatment and this
would continue, till Allah bless you with full fledge recovery. It is
there and then that this wonderful woman would smile and feel
comfortable. She then thanks Allah for granting you recovery. She
would continue to pray to Him for your protection and prosperity
and wish you success in your future endeavors.
She would be dreaming of and waiting for your days of adulthood,
when it is your time to get married so as to be happy for you, and at
the same time be sad for going to live with a woman like her, but
very different from her, in that, no matter how this woman loves and
cares for you, you will never feel that unique and extraordinary
sense of sincere love, compassion, sympathy and empathy that you
were blessed with when you used to be under her care. This is
obviously because she feels being part and parcel of your flesh and
bone, blood is thicker than water, so goes the popular adage.
Any growing child will respond upon a question that, it is his mother
that pays much more attention towards his education; Mothers show
up most of the time at their children P.T.A.(Parents-Teachers
Association) meetings and even their school’s graduation ceremony.
There were myriad of instances where some mothers here in

20
 America have had sleepless nights, because they missed their
children who were taken back home by their father to Africa and the
Arab world to be raised. That unflinching love and affection that
they have for their children tells their minds’ eyes that, they are not
in safe hands and are longing to meet their mothers.
In fact a mother is a treasure that will soon slip by for those who
disrespect and disobey her, and an endless treasure for those who
respect and obey her. She is like a perfume that leaves its seal
uncovered to her child to enjoy the sweet aroma throughout his or
her entire life. She is the first person to have taught you how to talk
and communicate, and whenever you cry, she would sing lullaby (a
song to console kids when crying) to you till you stop crying and
begin to smile. She also taught you so many lessons in Islamic code
of ethics and social norms and values. She taught you how to relate
to people, respect the elderly, (especially your father) love for your
> country (Patriotism) sympathy to the weak and the poor. She planted
a strong seed of truthfulness in you and urged you to refrain from
falsehood and taught you the benefits of trustworthiness when
something is entrusted in your care. She does all this for you in a bid
to enable you become a well cultured, dynamic, vibrant and vital
member of the human society.
Above all, a mother has a special place in the sight of Allah as the
prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) told us in the Ahadith coming up in
the chapters ahead.

A deviant and disobedient man was forgiven and granted

Jannah when his Mother prayed for him

A Muslim monk by the name Uyash a descendant of Basra in

Iraq narrated that, he was once on a visit to one of the suburbs in
Iraq, he saw only four Muslims carrying a coffin of a dead person
and exclaimed ”AUahu Akbar” (God is Great), why should only four

21
people carry a coffin of a dead Muslim to Janaza (Funeral Prayer)
and the prophet said, he who prayed on a dead person and escorted
the coffin to the burial ground will attract reward as big as the size
of two mountains of Uhud in Makkah. He then followed their
footsteps echoing over and over in his mind “a burial rites that
attracted only four people and no body followed them? This is
strange!”
He further narrated that, they buried the corpse and after the burial
he said to them “Subhanal Lah!. ” (Glory be to Allah) what happen
to this burial rites? This is unusual.” Then one of them told to him to
ask the only woman among them making her their fifth, and this
woman hired only these four guys to bury the corpse for a fee. They
prayed over him, carried him to the cemetery and buried him.
The narrator of this story says, he then followed the woman after the
burial until she reached her house, he knock on her door and was
permitted to enter; he sat down and started asking her what
happened to this strange funeral rites with a very limited people.
“The deceased was my son.” she said, “When he was on the verge of
death, he asked me “My mom, do you wish to see me in happiness
and joy in the hereafter?” I said;” yes of course my son.” and frankly
speaking, this man used to live a deviant, disobedient, immoral and
sinful life and very disrespectful to me”. He continued, “then Mom
if my death time approaches, recite “lailaha Hal Lah” to me and if I
die do not inform or invite anybody to my funeral rites because, if
people know about my sinful acts, they will not pray Salatul Janaza
on me, but Mom raise your hands to Allah and say:

[<.ic jti i -Lu-b/j iSiukaI JS

“Oh Allah, I hereby declare to you this evening that I am pleased
with my son so be pleased with him” and ask me to say this prayer,
three times”.

22
The woman laughed at this juncture and Iyash the narrator of the
story asked her why she was laughing.
“ Wall ah i (by Allah) I did pray as he asked me to and lo and behold,
I heard a strange voice echoing to me after the burial that:

((js^ JF- ‘ / oLof U / oLalb)}

“My Mom! My Mom! I met my Lord, so Merciful and Generous to

me and not angry and dissatisfied with me”.

Impact of Mother’s sympathy on the entire Muslim

Ummah Hajar, (Hagar) Mother of Ismail

Hajar, (Hagar) the mother of Ishmael exhibited high sense of

sympathy towards her son when he became thirsty. It all came about
when her husband Ibrahim (Abraham) took them from Palestine to a
valley in Makkah and left them with insufficient water. After they
used it up, her son Ishmael started crying out of thirst, Hajar became
so worried and sympathetic. She was confused, running from one
point (Safah) to another {Mama), searching for water or looking for
any sign of human movement or noise to seek for help. She finally
could not get any help so upon this sympathy that she expressed
towards the child, Allah made water to gush out from the earth
beneath the toes of Ishmael and thousands of years later this
physical effort made by Hajar became part and parcel of the Sunnah
of Hajj rituals. Just imagine how motherly sympathy towards her
son resulted into an amazing Jihadic adventure of Hajj which the
Prophet is reported to have said, in a long Hadith stating the various
rituals of Hajj and the rewards attached to them that; He who
performs just the ritual of Safah and Mama, seven times as Hajar
did, his or her reward is like someone who freed seventy slaves .

23
 A Mother sacrificed an eve for the sake of her son

This mother was tested by Allah with her son loosing one of his eye­
sights as he was growing up. By virtue of that natural motherly love
and affection, she decided not to see her son grow up to live with
only one eye. She approached an eye surgeon to perform a surgery
on her, by removing one of her eyes to replace it with the deficient
one eye of her son, to enable him live in comfort and confidence in
the society. This woman made this incredible sacrifice and lived
with one eye for the rest of her life, so when she was on the verge of
death, her son who never knew about this incident was by her sick­
bed, she narrated this sacrificial story to him and he could not hold
his tears and amazement for his mother to go extra-mile to sacrifice
the most priceless organ in human body (that is highly cherished
especially by women), just for him to be able to live comfortably.
He lamented why she did not inform him about this incident earlier
so as to reciprocate this in many ways.

‘7 will neverfeel comfortable unless I am on the laps of my mother

— Socrates, Philosopher.

Mother’s Advice to her Daughter on her Wedding Day

Mothers always go extra-miles to express their love and affection to
their children. History informed us of a pious woman by name
Umaamatu Bintul-Haris who isolated herself with her daughter on
her.wedding night before.she was escorted to her husband’s home
and gave her the following priceless advice:
“Had a woman not had the need of a husband, her parents would
have been able to take care of her needs. But women were created
for men and men were created for women. So listen to my advice
that awakens the slumber. My Daughter, My Daughter 1 love you so
much and I am going to miss you so much as you are about to leave

24
the atmosphere that you were raised in and move to a different
environment that you are not used to. You are moving to be in
company of your life long partner you do not know and not familiar
with for better for worse, through the thick and thin. He will be in
charge of your welfare and supervision. So I implore you to be his
servant and he will be a servant to you. Keep and protect this ten life
principles and ethics you will be successful and happy in your
marital life with him:
First and Second you have to be MODERATE in your request and
OBEDIENT to his order.
Third and Fourth, do not let him see any UGLY or NASTY sight of
you and also do not let him smell any BAD odor in you.
Fifth and Sixth, make sure you are AVAILABLE to him in bed and
SERVICEABLE to him in the kitchen.
Seventh and Eight, Protect his properties especially MONEY and
take good care of his CHILDREN and be kind and respectful to his
MOTHER.
Ninth and Tenth, do not violate his ORDER and do not spread his
SECRET.
Beware of HAPPINESS when he is SAD and SADNESS when he
is HAPPY.
With this my daughter, I wish you Allah’s Protection and Blessing
in your new World, Wassalamu Alaik/”
In fact, many mothers since time immemorial gave and are still
giving these golden principles to their daughters in a bid to ensure
success in their new lives with their husbands, and wish they could
have behind the scene glimpse of their daughters going by the letter
and spirit of these principles.

‘There is not a relationship in a family that is more important than

the relationship a child has with( his or) her mother ”.
— Michelle Obama, First Lady of the United States.

25
 Father’s Role in Raising Child

Since you were bom your father took the responsibilities of you and
your Mother. He would work extra-hard to meet the needs of the
family, as you grow up gradually he sent you to school and paid for
your fees in order to be trained and educated for your future
progress. He always advice and urge you to guide against moral
vices and adopt sound moral virtues. He advices you to be an
obedient child, a hard working and loving student and well-cultured
adult. He indicates to you that all these manners will be contributing
factors to your success in life in this world and the hereafter. His
ambition is always to see you as the best of all children and it does
not bother him to see you achieving higher than what he achieved.
However, the father himself knows the enormity of the mother’s role
which could not be compared with his responsibilities by any stretch
of imagination.

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love
their mother. ”
— Theodore Hesburgh.

26
 •4jU£ A^aSLa ^ cuiaa Jlum *U£jj

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^ASjjJ tjljt (jlJ*]l J=d^i3 Ml! rzlij (jl dhjUf (jjjlji <jJ*]l (f3 IJjVI

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Mllj 'J[jjIjJI (jLapk AjU J3 (jj^A y (j! . (JaaJaI! (JLat* A3 (jL£ (jljj .jAlSJ!

c_Ua3 Aij-u < tSlijl moLc-jjj a.llc. dlic■jj

“To you my Mom that I dedicate this book.

For more often you listened from the back of the “Curtain” in the
village to the recitation from people whom you used to invite to
recite the Qur’an in our home through the entire period of Ramadan.
While I happened to be with you playing around and making noise
and you would give me a stem advice to be quite and 1 would keep
mute to listen to the recitation with you and my heart would end up
“drinking” its melodious music, even if 1 would not understand its

27
meaning. And when I grew up in front of you, you sent me to
f16 A?,Tary s.cbo°^ *n village, and your prior ambition was
or ^ ai *° brighten my mind to enable me memorize the Holy
\£u\ an, an to bless me with a melodious and sweet-sounding voice
,so as to recite it to you always. You then finally changed my route
to the new route that 1 am pursuing now. This was after you attained
pa o your objectives, I then memorized the Qur’an! However you
ave ma e a journey (of no return) far away from us. -Dear Mom-
and your last personal picture is intact in my imagination, I always
remem er you sitting in front of the radio and listening to a beautiful
reci a ion (o the Qur an), It would show in the features of your
that you
SsS°wLetyitsmeans assimilate jt in y°ur bjgheart'and
in your sense and what is hidden. So Dear,
Mom, over to you the fruit of your prolonged attention towards your
young child and your young adult. And even if he lost its beautiful
recitation, perhaps he may not lose its great dynamic wisdom. May
Allah bless and protect you and him.”
Your Son, Sayyed Qutb.

iji yy\
ij'jj'. ^ iijj' i/jJW

0 '£\Jy\ ^Vl

A mother is a school when you prepare her,

You prepared a people of good veins (well-cultured).
A mother is a garden, when it is well irrigated; it produces extra­
ordinary and unique leaves.
A mother is a teacher, among teachers, that enrich them (her
students) with everlasting legacy.

28
 Chapter Three
Impact of Mothers in the lives of some
Eminent Scholars

“And when mothers and grandmothers have more often than not
anonymously, handed on the creative spark, the seed to the Jlowers
they themselves never hoped to see....or like a sealed letter they
could not plainly read. ”
Alice Walker.

There are numerous examples of Islamic scholars of the second

generation, following the prophet and his Sahabah (followers)
whose mothers have made huge influence in their lives. But for lack
of space we will mention just a few famous among them. It was
revealed that, three of the four most famous and knowledgeable
Imams who are being referred to us:

cUiili 4jujV1 (The four Imams of Islamic jurisprudence) were

single handedly taken care of by their mothers. Below are the
summary of each one of them and the role mothers played in their
upbringing.

1. Imam Malik Ibn Anas ^1), Imam of the abode of

Migration. He grew up with zeal to seek knowledge and his mother
encouraged him. She bought him new clothing with a hat,(koofi)
books, and pens just to emulate the great scholars, and would always
urge him to go to the Masjid in Madinah to attend the lessons being
given after prayers. He used to have keen interest in music, but the
mother did not like it. So this encouragement of hers made him to
blaze the trail and become the greatest scholar during his time and
produced a book of Ahadith, (the approved) among others

29
which his student Imam Shafi’ee, described as the most accurate
book after the Holy Quran”. In a hadith related by Imam Tirmidhi &
others the Prophet may Allah bless him and grant him peace said:
" _ 4VO.aH Lallc. ^3 .ikiis! (J-AjII ‘-r5"
That: “A time will soon come when people will beat their camels in
search of knowledge and will not find a man of knowledge with
more knowledge than the man of knowledge of Madinah. ” It was
established by Furaj, Ibn Uyayna and others that this hadith refers to
Imam Malik. This shows the impact of his mother’s effort and
prayers towards him.
2. Imam Shafi’ee: His father died before he was born, so his mother
raised, trained and taught him when he was young. She took him to
a school for the Ouran and enrolled him there. He memorized the
book of Allah at the age of 7 then memorized, ’
the (approved) of Imam Malik at the age of lO.Three years later,
Shafi’ee became Malik’s student. Imam Malik became highly
impressed by his memory and intelligence, and he later authored:
2^ " (Musnad(suppoTi) of imam Shafi’ee ) and many
other books.

3. Imam Ahmed Bun Hanbal: His mother used to wake him up

early in the morning, clean and dress him and then take him to the
mosque to pray and allow him to sit and listen to the studies in the
masjid(mosquo) after fajr(dawn) prayers. This has impacted his life
and he became one of the best scholars of his time and produced a
book of Hadith dubbed: 0*
(Musnad of Imam Ahmad ) and other titles.

4. Safyanu-Saurii: was another galaxy among these intellectuals,

his mother was very influential in his life. She once told him:
“Safyan, seek knowledge and I will take care of your means of

30
livelihood My son ifyou write ten letters, stop and reflect deeper, if
you see an improvement in vour fear, piety and patience in the sight
of Allah then you are on a right track, and ifyou do not see this
then what you are learning is harming you and not helping you ”
Safyan took heed to his mother’s advice and he became outstanding
among the men of zuhd (eternally minded) in his generation.

5. Imam Muhammad Ismail Al-Bukhari

His father passed away during infancy and the mother took the
entire responsibility of bringing him up. He became blind at young
age. The mother consulted many famous and skilled doctors of his
time but their treatments made no difference. His mother was a
pious worshipper and a righteous woman. She cried out for help in
the court of Allah, the Almighty for her child and begged for the
restoration of his eye sight. At last, “the river of mercy flowed over
her" and Allah accepted her invocation, one night she visited the
Prophet Ibrahim in a dream and he told her that: “Allah has restored
the sight of your son because of your intense and beautiful
invocations". In the morning, as Imam Bukhari got up from his bed,
glimmers of light reached out into his eyes and grew up with a
photographic memory such that, whenever ads a book at once would
be committed into memory. He produced a complete book of Hadith
dubbed:" "(Authentic Book of Bukhari) which is
inarguably another most authentic book of Hadith after "tkVof
Imam Malik. One of his students had a dream that, he saw him
walking behind the Prophet Muhammad and his foot step exactly on
the foot print of the prophet; this obviously shows that he was on the
right course.
Few among these people of penetrating intellect whom were trained
and raised by their mothers are: Abdalah Ibn Kathir among the
scholars of seven modes of Quran recitations.) Imam Tirmidhi, Ibn
Maajah {Ahadith Scholars), Saeed Binil-Musayyid, Umar Bin Abdul

31
Aziz and Imam A Hanifa (Scholars in Islamic Jurisprudence), Imam
Hassanul-Basari and Fudail Bin Iyad (Aspects in Wisdom and
(Abstention).
Ponder over the words of an American motivational speaker, prolific
writer and an intellectual, Dr.W.W.Dyer who attracts huge audience
on his various programs in the media outlets, by virtue of his
charisma and crowd pulling advantage, below is what he wrote
regarding his Mother in one of his books:
“...YES MOM, YOU INSPIRED ME'.”

“ What I meant to say was ....how can I possibly say good bye to the
person who was the first to hold me, the first to feed me, and the first
to make me feel loved?
From a distance I watch you doing the mundane tasks that to eveiy
one else seem so routine. But for me, the tasks you lovingly
completed year after year built and reinforced the foundation, the
structure that made my world a safe, secure and comfortable place
to grow. All that I am and all that I have made along the way would
not have occurred without first believing in me. And you were the
person who always believed in me.
Now with a family of my own, I am amazed at the number of times I
hear your words flow from my mouth. This ventriloquist (a stage
actor) phenomenon was at first most irritating, but now warms me
as / have come to understand that there is a part ofyou that will live
on in me for ever. When time part us, I pray that you will reach
across from the other side to again touch my face and whisper in to
my ear for your warm and gentle presence in my life....for this, I
will always be most thankful ...yes, mother you inspired me!n
—Dr. W.W. DYER, Inspiration, Your Ultimate Calling.
In fact no matter where he spoke, electricity fills the air, Dr. Dyer’s
dramatic cadence, piercing and penetrating voice was like a baby’s
lullaby, and you could not resist his call for sober reflection.

32
 "CjLuI! ji jj (Jjjac. t^5ulc. Li?'J <&1 0,M
dluaJI —

“Allah Al-mighty made forbidden for you violation of the rights of

mothers and burial of infant girls alive.”
— Al-hcicfith

Lq dl3^)C. 1 -am-n. i U .lie. V! aJq^oVI ^ ^ 11

” C5iahl S.l^.1 j 4JJ V
^JLuj (_J jLc. —-

“I never knew the meaning of motherhood until when I was blessed

with a boy-child, It was then that I realized that, whatever I provided
to her will never equate one night that she went sleepless because of
me.
— Aadil Saalim

* (-aL*

Xolj jJ us Aiy\
jU-all 2$C. ^ s£Lj
jAll (5^.1

^Lill^UcVl —

33
 Parental Obedience is an “Advance Loan*’

Be obedient to Allah as He sanction

And fill your heart with caution
Be obedient also to your father for he
did raise you from infancy
Be humble to your mother in order to endorse you
For disobedience to her is one of major sins.
—Imamu Shafi’ee.

l^uSi ia\c. lillaV

Qjjalj Ylit, \j

Your mother has a great right, which you could fulfill easily.

ft!
^ -l/j/ti.. LbjrfjJ<u*JJL Sjix*c jA (j* LjjJl ^3 -ifkju y ...
j&x-l y II(j* LfeS (jl£ l-Ay <a Lai Y^ #>> LUa^Jl -■» I Qjic- Lajlj ^ Y^ lb
Lf-jjlJ j»yi -iijl #>< A ta'VLlaSk.(ji Ml! JIjf LdJIjJj a IJ AjIfiLuil l^Jj^y
. JJ.1a y~} Mil J jjf t_iJJU SJ&ual] 2&a
" o' ®o>* o 4-a^tadl —
Mother 9s Mercy
There is nobody in the entire earth who is more forgiven to her son
than a mother...the child offends his mother. However, the mother's
heart is always forgiven to this offence... And there is no mother no
matter how bad is her habit that will not forgive her son's
disobedience and rebellion. That is why Allah used a mother and
her son as an example offorgiveness, in order for us to know that
the mercy ofAllah is unlimited.
— Shiekh M. Mutawwali Sha’rawii,: “Miracle of the Qur’an”.

34
 Chapter Four
Instances of Parental Disobedience
and Abuse and it Demerits

"She was the archetypal selfless mother; Living only for her
children. Sheltering them from the consequences of their actions and
in the end doing her irreparable harm. ”
— Marcia Muller.

To paraphrase from the famous Islamic Prolific writer and scholar,

^ (Commander of the Faithful in Hadith
Compilation during his time) Hafiz Ibn Hajaril Askalanii,
disobedience to parents is for a child or a man to do anything that
will cause physical or psychological pain to them including
neglecting them which is contrary to how they related to him when
he was an infant under their tutelage. This pain is usually in the form
of word or action and one clear example is going contrary to their
wish or authority regarding matters which are not diametrically
opposed to Islamic code of ethics.

History is replete with instances of abuse, disobedience and

disrespect to parents as mentioned in the previously of the cases in
Britain and the United States. In the United States in particular, it is
very disheartening to see Muslim children blindly copying the non-
Muslim ones by calling 911 or the police for their parents whenever
they try to correct them, and if this call continues for the second or
third time, they would be separated from their parents and be sent to
child foster homes which is a totally un-lslamic environment and a
fertile ground for a child “brain-wash”.

35
I

A Muslim teenager told her Peers to

“Jump” (beat) her Mother

An African woman, who got divorced from her husband and was
living with her four children, as a single parent in the Bronx, had a
bitter experience with her fourteen year old girl which she will never
forget for the rest of her life.
The girl, who is the older among her children, joined a gang of peers
who attend the same school and have become so notorious in their
neighborhood because of their bad drinking and smoking behavior.
They even smoke in front of the mother with the rest of the children
looking at them. This girl stays outside too long after school and
comes home very late in the night.
So one day, her mother who is about 40 years of age decided to go
to her school to escort her home. When she got there she told her
daughter that she came to take her home. The daughter refused and
when this mother insisted to go home with her, she without any
hesitation told her colleagues to “jump her”, means, pounce on her
mother and beat her.
These teenagers, about five of them, did as they were ordered, they
pounced on the mother and beat her up mercilessly, and they nearly
killed her, had it not been the intervention made by a Good
Samaritan passing bye who called 911 and the emergency service.
It will interest you to know that, this girl still lords it over her
mother in their apartment. She told her mother with an aura of
authority that, whenever she is sitting in the living room, she should
stay in the bed room and vice versa. She added that this order should
be abided especially whenever her friends come into the apartment.
She said this with a notion that, her father does not stay with them
any more and the city housing authority left the apartment for her
and her young brothers and not for her mother.
In fact since this unfortunate incident, the mother never been to her

36
school again, because the daughter warned her not to, or else her
deviant colleagues will kill her.
This is another clear case of a girl going out of control, and a case in
point or a testimony is the statement made by the Prophet in a long
Hadith, narrated by Umar in which the angel appeared to the
prophet and started asking him series of questions including events
that indicate that, mankind is approaching the end of time, part of
which he said"....4^j<*VI J"....: “A servant of (Allah) or mother
would give birth to her goddess or deity...”.
According to some scholars implies that it would come to a time
when children would be in full control of their parents, which is
contrary to the normal norm in any society.

Two children put their Father under house-arrest

and hit him with guns

There was an instance when a Muslim father was put under “house
arrest” by his two children whom he brought from Ghana not long
ago, realizing how notorious they turned out to be, he advised them
several times and did not see any change in their bad behavior, he
began to put some “fear” into them by telling them that, if they do
not turn a new leaf of life, he will send them back to Ghana.
Because they feel uncomfortable whenever he says this, these young
adults decided one day to teach him a lesson. They secured two
guns, and approached him while he was sitting in their family
apartment, one of them stood in front ofJiim.with.the gun and the
other stood behind him. Both of them started hitting him with the
gun and saying: “You better stop saying you will take us to Ghana,
if you do not want to be killed with these guns. “This is a clear case
of children out of control, and not too long after this incident, these
kids were arrested when the police found drugs and guns on them,
and they are now languishing in jail. This is a clear testimony of the

37
hadith of the prophet that says, Allah keeps all acts of violation or
sin on this earth till the day of judgment, with the exception of
disrespect and disobedience to parents, for the culprit will see the
negative repercussion and ramification in his life on earth before
meeting the worst punishment of hellfire in the hereafter, if he does
not repent.

A man portrayed his Father a servant

because of a woman

There was this man whose father took care of him and educated him
up to the doctorate level. Upon becoming a doctor, he wanted to get
married to a very beautiful girl that was being sorted after by dozens
of men. He therefore lied to her that he was from a very rich family
and his father owns a huge fleet of cars and numerous edifices. One
day she requested to visit his “rich” family. They went to a village
and upon their arrival; there came his father from the farm with his
old garb and this man had the audacity to tell this lady that: “this
man is one of my father’s workers”. His father could not believe his
ears and said in surprise:” What did you say my son”? It was then
that this girl realized that, this doctor lied to her; she became furious
and gave him a heavy slap on the face for describing his father in
such a demeaning and inferior manner. She decided not to marry
him because of this attitude towards his father in a bid to win her
heart.
A man stabbed his Mother to death for her
disapproval of his choice of wife

This was a mother who wanted her son to marry a girl that she
attested to her morality and sense of piety than the girl he preferred
to marry. As she tried to convince him about the consequences of

38
his action, he argued with her to a point where he took a knife
from the kitchen and stabbed her, killing her instantly just because
of a girl. This homicidal act haunted this boy for the rest of his life.
Many are those mothers who wished they never delivered those
children because of these acts of inhumane and wicked treatment of
theirs.

A man moved his Mother out of his house upon

the request of his wife

Once there was this man living with his mother. Later when he got
married, his wife moved in with them. This wife had the courage to
tell him to move his mother out of the house. She said they can not
have peace of mind unless this old woman is taken away from them.
When he was reluctant to move her away, this woman told him to
choose between her and his mother. This man unbelievably carried
his aged mother on his back and took her to a valley at night, threw
her into the valley and left her there. Later, upon sober reflection, he
disguised himself in order not to be recognized and passed by her.
He saw her crying and he asked her; “why are you crying dear old
lady?” She said; “ my son left me here and I entertain fears that a
lion might attack and kill him on his way home”. He then asked:
“Are you crying and feeling for him not cursing him in spite this
bizarre and evil act of his?”
She answered him with the natural tenderheartedness befitting a
mother, saying,: “My heart bleeds whenever 1 think of any harm
against him”.
He then revealed himself to her, regretted for his bad deed and
returned her to his house. Having noticed his wife’s enmity towards
his mother; he divorced her and sent her out of his house.

39
 He favored his wife against his Mother and
could not proclaim the Shahada

In a long hadith related on the authority of Abu Hurairah may Allah

be pleased with him said: During the era of the prophet there was a
man called Alqamah who was very pious, he was fond of kiyannil
Lai! (Night Supplication) and fasting and many acts of kindness
recommended by the Quran and Sunnah. He suddenly became sick
and was on the verge of death and the people surrounding him were
trying to recite the Kalimatu Shahada (final words of declaration)
which once declared by a dying person, fortified his faith in Allah
which is La’ilaha Hal Lah; (There is no deity worthy of worship
except Allah) to enable him recite after them before his death, after
several attempts were made to enable him say the simple and easy
words, he could not utter it, they then sent one of them to inform the
prophet. The prophet, upon arrival predicted that there might be a
problem between him and his mother, he then sent a Sahabah to call
his mother. When she came the prophet asked her:” what was the
relationship between you and your son?” she said:
“He always favors his wife whenever she disrespects me, the
prophet concluded that, it was because of this attitude towards you
that Allah held his tongue and is unable to utter the kalimatu
Shahada so please forgive him”.
She appeared reluctant to forgive him, so the Prophet ordered the
Sahabah to gather pieces of fire wood and bum him alive. However
upon this move, out of motherly empathy, she forgave him and in a
twinkle of an eye, he recited the Shahada and passed away.

One bad turn deserves another

Ponder over the case of this old man who was crying while his son
was slapping and smacking him on the face by the pavement. And

40

i
when some passers-bye approached the boy in an attempt to stop
him, the father himself told them to leave him alone saying, “In fact
I slapped and smacked my father 20 years ago on the same spot and
now I realized that parental abuse is a loan that one is bound to pay
back in future”.

What is good for the goose is good for the gander

A young kid also saw his father trying to drag his old grandmother
away from his house and when this boy asked why he is trying to
move her away from the house, the father said “I am fed up with
her”. This boy with is so much tenderheartedness toward his
grandmother cried bitterly and said to his father; “we will do the
same thing to you one day if you do not return her to us.
Having reflected on the effect the boy’s vow, he regretted for his
action and took her back to the house.

He asked his Father for money, he gave him

excuse but killed the Father

A story was told of a boy who was living a deviant life of gambling,
drunkenness and fornication, he requested some money from his
father to go and spend in his wayward life. When his father refused
to give him the money, and told him that he will rather spend the
money on his young ones school and stationery needs, as well as
their feedings, he became furious and left the house. He however
came back later in the night with a heavy metallic object and hit his
father (who was deep asleep) with it. The father died instantly.

41
 The consequences of rejecting Mother’s
choice of a wife

There was a case of a man whose Mother gave him a wife to marry
after marrying her, he realized she had no secular education and he
divorced her. However after he married a new woman with secular
education, she stopped eating his mother’s food (when she cooks)
and disrespected her and even told him to move her out of the house.
He moved his mother from the house as this woman requested and
within few months, he became poor, lost his job and she divorced
him. This man experienced multidimensional crisis, by virtue of his
violation of the mother’s order of divorcing her choice of a wife and
also moving her out at the expense of his rude and disrespectful
wife.

He came back from Europe to “pay” his Mother

for breast-feeding him

Above all the most bizarre and incredible among these stories is an
incident that happened in one of the African countries. There was
this man who knocked on one of the Muslim scholars (and the
source of this news, a young Muslim teacher now living in New
York happened to be with this scholar at that particular time)when
the man was asked of his mission he told the teacher that, he
happened to be living in Europe (Germany) and his mother keeps on
harassing him for money and he decided to come down home
without any hesitation and “pay her” for her effort in breast feeding
him and will by so doing ex-communicate her and end any family
relationship between the two of them in order to have his “peace of
mind”. After these words, he dropped an amount of two thousand
dollars in front of the teacher and asked the teacher to go together
with him to his mother to serve as a witness as he submits his

42
“back payment” or a “reciprocal reward” of her effort in raising
him. The teacher could not believe his ears and eyes, as if he was
watching a comic movie. However, upon sober reflection and
having noticed the seriousness of this man to say good bye to his
mother, he begun to advice him to ponder deeply over the pain and
discomfort she had to bear just to see him become a “photo-
finished” or well cultured personality that she could be proud of.
He recited verses from the holy Quran that encourage obedience and
kindness to parents as well as the Ahadith to buttress his point. But
upon all what the teacher told him, it looked as if it fell on deaf ears.
He left the money with the teacher, promising that he will be right
back. This man left in his red car and never came back. The teacher
waited with the money months upon months and never saw him
again. He then decided to put the money in the coffers of the
mosque as "FiisabililLah” and all this happened without his
mother’s knowledge .This man left the country conscious of the fact
that, that money was meant to pay-back his mother and did not care
whether it reached her. He ex-communicated her totally. Sooner or
latter he will reap what he sowed. This story exemplifies instances
of abuse, disrespect, disregard and disobedience to parents, and this
is only a tip of an iceberg as compared to thousand and one cases
that are not revealed.

43
 jfj

4jy /0-./ jg ^ VL <lu-aJJcs-3 <jLz-u*i Mil. ..

0 i«-<v . (JIjAaJI j! LjJf. yi oLizdl ^ jjk.id! jjc-
£-kf CJ^J- ...«->yy/ J cU=JI LgSj J&J J
oU ^ j^j jiui i3„u_ j* ^^ji ^ f%...
^LoLqI^aUd c_jy/ (JjJaS (jjl <a£^j ^fjJIoLI(jeU-l!j! Lai
ljY/^jis*/ ^y/j 4.J.XS-1yiii dJeL?> cMJijJj__ jTu.ix> 4^yiLai...
.<jlc’ 4jj! (J*^XV cy^j 4jLjC’j cJS / <d(JptekJ Laii^. dshll (jy
*Lal <1ixj (jU! L-lxS]ljjiy La IjjU 4jSJj...
(_g Jj!Lq .*1^% a ----
(j\ jia5l o^ajua" AAjS ^

Obedience to mother, top priority

Allah the Al-mighty in His recommendation towards mother has

chosen her first because she plays an invisible role in the life of her
child or a role which is beyond human mind.
Means, a mother is responsible for the entire process oj his
development right from the womb, to his deliveiy, his baby sitting
....until he becomes an adult. When he grows up and begins to
mature, he finds his mother at the forefront offulfilling his needs.
Hence the virtues or merits offather is obvious in the sight of the
child....But the virtues or roles of the mother is hidden ...So that is
why the order (from Allah) towards motherly obedience and
kindness appears more than the father, because the child would
always realize and appreciate the role his father plays whiles he is
providing his needs, but he could hardly tell and value the sort of
effort his mother went through.
—Sheihk Muhammad Mutawalii Sha’araawii.

44
 #M J)l\ (j-o ^aul SjLuij Uill ^ A^.jj VM

jjL^i ?yJ —

"There will never be a pillow in the earth more comfortable than the
lap of a mother."
— William Shakespeare.

^gil ^_ya 4_ill (j'l dlL^aj Lo (JSu (_jjA/» ^gjl"

" ^LA\

“I am indebted with all that she provided to me and I vow to

dedicate all that I achieve to my mother exclusively.”

— Abraham Lincoln.

45
 Chapter Five
Instances of Parental Obedience and
Respect and its Benefits

“So when the great word “Mother”!

Ran once more,
l saw at last its meaning and its place,
The blind passion of the brooding past,
But Mother...The world's mother....come at last,
To love as she had never loved before ....
To feed and guard and teach the human race. ”

— Charlotte Perkins.

As there are two sides to a coin, there are also merits, virtues and
beneficial rewards from the Providence (Allah) to any one who
obeys and respects as well as shows kindness to his parents
especially mothers. And this chapter will take the reader through
some real life seemingly incredible stories of rewards attracted by
some great men of the blessed memory who exhibited high sense of
kindness, sympathy, empathy and obedience to their parents. It will
also reveal instances that Allah miraculously answered the prayers
of mothers towards their children.

An American Nurse converted to Islam because of a couple's

sympathy towards their Mother

This woman was a nurse in one of the hospitals in the US, according
to her, the first time she heard about Islam was when she was
Watching a television program and laughed about this seemingly

46
 ‘strange’ religion. However a year later she heard and saw it again
with her naked eyes at the hospital that she works. Below is the
story from the horse’s own mouth:
“I was once at the front desk of the hospital when this couple
came in with their aged Mom who appears seriously sick. She was
sent to the emergency room while her son and daughter in-law who
were facing my desk were crying and wiping their tears. I then went
to the waiting room to console and talk to them. I asked them why
they are crying and the lady said, they brought their mother far from
middle east to seek medical attention for her serious and severe
ailment. As she was still crying and praying to God to cure her in­
law, there were series of international phone calls from the rest of
the family members from home, eager to know the condition of their
mother. I then expressed surprise about this strange scenario that
unfolds in front of me; I asked myself how on earth a wife will
escort her husband far away just to attend to his mother’s medical
need. At this juncture, I remembered my Mom, I said to myself
“where is my mother, I did not see her for more than four months
now and as of now, I never thought of the need to pay her visit or
even call her. This is my own mother and 1 neglected her, how much
more if she was my mother in-law?” In fact the plight of this couple
has really touched my heart and I continue to soliloquize (talk to my
self) what is the problem of this young and pretty woman?, why
should she worry too much about an old woman who is not her real
Mother?, and what will she gain from this woman that she wish will
get cured to live long?. From that moment nothing engaged my
thought so much more than this state of affairs. I then fancied how
happy I will feel if I were to be this ailing Mother who attracted the
tenderheartedness of her son and his wife.
I asked her how much importance they attached to the welfare and
the rights of mothers, and she revealed much information to me
from the Qur’an and Hcidith that authorized children to be obedient,

47
kind, compassionate and caring to their parents. When she finished
this explanation, the Doctor came out and told them that the mother
is dead. In fact this news changed their grieve condition from bad to
worse, they cried bitterly like toddlers. This revelation matter of fact
penetrated my heart so much and I went to one of the Islamic centers
in the States and requested for a literature that dealt with parental
rights and importance in the life of their children.
As 1 was reading this book with case studies of the past generations
of Muslims who extended kindness and obedience to their parents
and what they benefited from and how it was interspersed with
Quranic and Prophetic wisdom, I imagined myself a mother with so
many children who love me and extend kindness and compassion to
me and this interesting and exciting panorama that I observe through
my mind’s eye, became my magnetic attraction to this enviable
religion par excellence!
1 got converted since then and got married to a Muslim brother, after
which Allah blessed us with children. I always pray to Allah to
guide and enlighten them as they grow, to enable them see the
significance of parents which was the pull factor for my acceptance
of Islam.”
It is obvious that, parental love and sympathy have led to this
woman embracing the faith of Islam, and Allah would reward them
abundantly for their care and compassion towards this mother and
for the fact that, the nurse converted to Islam because of their grieve
towards the mother.

The three ancient men who got stuck, rescued

by virtue of their good deeds

A story was told of the three ancient men of (children of

Israel,) who were on a journey, and all of a sudden, there was a
torrential rain.

48
They sort refuge in a cave and when the rain was over, they
attempted to leave out of the cave, but they could not because of a
huge rock covering the entrance of the cave. Realizing there was no
way out, they decided that each one of them should mention his
good deed to Allah and pray to him to save them from the seeming
calamity. After the two men mentioned their deeds and prayed to
Allah, the third and final one who was the subject of this discourse
begun his prayers as follows: “Oh Allah, 1 am a shepherd living with
my parents, I always milk my livestock to feed them, then one day,
circumstance beyond my control prevented me from going to feed
them within time and when I got home late at night, I found them
deeply asleep and entertained fears to wake them up in order not to
disturb them. So 1 remained seated holding the cup full of milk,
waiting for them to wake up while, my little children were crying
out of hunger and I refused to feed them at the expense of their
grand parents. My parents later woke up and drunk the milk after
which I fed my children with the left-over. Oh Allah, if I did this
for your sake, move this rock away from the entrance of this cave
for us to come out.” And the rock moved out of their way
immediately after he concluded with his plea.

A Mother’s prayers made her Son a Companion of

Prophet Musah in Paradise

Once Prophet Musah asked Allah to show him his best friend in
Janncth (Paradise). Prophet Musah was thinking that Allah will just
mention one of the 6* (The superior among the
messengers) they are, Jesus, Nooh, Ibrahim Musah and Muhammad.
(S.A.W.) But Allah Almighty rather told him to take a journey to a
village and he would see a man walking into a house and should
follow his steps into the house. Prophet Musah did exactly as
commanded by Allah; He saw him holding a bag full of food

49
ingredients and prepared food after which he woke up his mother
who appeared very old, he fed her, clean her and put her to rest. So
when he finished with this daily routine, Prophet Musah, who was
sitting and looking at him all this while asked him, please tell me
who is this old woman to you and what kind of prayers she makes
to you whenever you finish this service?” He said:
“She always pray, saying”: "QJ! JySj ar^1 J**1
“Oh Allah, make my son a friend of Musah in Heaven”. Then
Musah told him: “Allah has answered her prayer. I am Prophet
Musah and Allah sent me to inform you that you will be my friend
in heaven”.

A young Man’s kindness to his Mother attracted

him rewards from his Boss

Once upon a time, a young man was living in ancient Egypt with his
father and the father suddenly died and left him under the care of his
mother, she raised him and inculcated in him good moral virtues.
When he became an adult, he had an opportunity to work for the
king of his village. One night after a hard day’s work, he fell asleep
and could not wake up early as usual. The king who however
happened to be passing by, saw him still asleep and discovered a
white paper in his pocket, being curious to know what it was, he
gently snatched it away from the pocket, went back to his room and
opened the letter. Upon reading it, he realized the letter was sent by
this servant’s mother to him, praising him and expressing her
appreciation for the money he has been sending to her to take care of
herself and his brothers and sisters whose father died and left them
in an abject poverty. At the tail end of the letter, she prayed to Allah
to prolong his Boss’s age, protect him, grant him victory over his
enemies, and makes him succeed in all his endeavors and advised
him to be more pro-active in his services and duties towards his lord.

50
The king could not finish reading the last sentence of the letter only
to become so moved and motivated by the boy’s sense of
responsibility toward his family, in spite of the meager wages he
receives from him.
He became very tenderhearted and compassionate towards this boy
and scooped out a huge amount of dinnars (hard currency) from his
coffers, parceled it and went back to the boy who was still asleep
and gently placed it together with the letter in his pocket. After a
short while, the king started ringing a bell so hard with the intention
to wake him up.
When he woke up, he got scared after realizing that the sun rose to
half-noon and went to the king shaking and shivering out of fear.
When the king saw him he said, “I thought you were sleeping what
happened. He became much more scared and begins to think of any
reason to give the king why he overslept. As he was in that state of
confusion, he felt a weight in one of his pockets. He inserted his
hand and took out a parcel filled with dinnars, his already scary
situation got worsen and his face suddenly changed. He looked at
the king and could not say anything but begins to cry. “What is your
problem?” the king asked. “My Lord I know it is obvious that I
woke up late to carry out my usual service to your royal highness,
and I hope you may forgive me. But what bleeds my heart is this
parcel that I just discovered in my pocket and do not know where it
came from and how it got in my pocket.” He thought for a little
while and said: “My Lord I think it was one of my enemies in your
palace who did this deliberately to make me incur your displeasure,
my Lord, my protector, my source of livelihood and that of my
family.” He lamented. “My dear son and servant do not entertain
any fears, you are the most pious, well-cultured, responsible,
obedient and trustworthy child that has ever been at my service, feel
comfortable and do not feel miserable. I read a letter sent to you by
your mother, that I was very happy and excited to have known that

51
you are taking care of her and your younger ones.
1 was hence carried away by your unique sense of responsibility and
sympathy towards them and deemed it expedient to reward you with
this token, with the view to motivate you to improve upon the
support you are rendering to your family.
Keep up the good job, continue to show love and mercy towards
your mother and you will attract more generous rewards from me.
“I want you to go right now to your mother and show her this parcel
and tell her to take as much as she wants out of this money and you
keep the rest. Do not forget to send my Salaam to her and thank her
for her prayer for me. Tell her that from now on, I will personally
take care of her responsibilities and the rest of the family by virtue
of the effort you are making, which has impressed me so much.” He
concluded.
The boy could not believe his ears regarding these good and glad
tidings that he heard from the king, his sadness turned into
happiness and excitement. He held the hands of the king together
and prayed for him for long life, progress, victory, good health and
wealth, and set off to his mother’s home. Upon arrival he narrated
the whole story to his. She cried out of joy and wished his father was
alive to enjoy the fruit of their labor towards him.
She finally expressed gratitude to Allah for making her son obedient
and kind and prayed to Allah to bless him with good children like
him, to pay him back this act of kindness in his future family life.

A student admitted at the Airport with expired Visa

A student whose visa expired got admitted at the airport in Saudi

Arabia in the late eighties. He came home for a vacation, overstayed
and his visa expired. Obviously he could not go back because he
could be deported upon arrival at the Airport.
However, when his mother noticed that he was not planning to go

52
back she asked him the reason and he told her why he could not go.
The mother then told him to prepare and go Insha Allah (by the will
of Allah) nothing would happen to him. It is amazing and interesting
to know that this man arrived at Jeddah Airport in Saudi, went
through the customs and immigration check points, where the
authorities checked his passport, gave it back to him and admitted
him into the country. One will infer from the above scenario that,
Allah “blind folded” them from detecting his expired visa by virtue
of his mother’s prayers and good intention towards him. This story
was narrated by Shiekh Musah Abdul Kadir, a renowned Ghanaian
Scholar at his Ramadan (Guest Commentator) Quranic Commentary
at Yankasa Mosque in New York in 1997.The person that had this
encounter was his colleague with whom he graduated from one of
the Universities in Saudi Arabia in those years.

(JT*' cj! "

^Ua3 (jlji J1 2xj L)*J ^2 C5"
'SA JJ JJl ur^JJ
! i ■

A mother is a fading treasure to the disobedient

one and a lasting treasure for the obedient ones

My topmost priority is honor and respect to my mother.

For my mother deserves the most respect.
She carried me so heavy and after my delivery,
She nursed me till I became a toddler.
She took care of me in the darkness of the night
And even sacrificed her sleep because I can not sleep.

53
 .... fSnu ...
_ oL^Ill j*ij£ aj Clml I iluc. j ........^jU jjx^j

^•llLolj <JLrLJ....^-^^J cJb^....^'V!

.... ...
.ujj^! ts* <Jj .... ^

Mother...what do you know about mother..... She is an actual sense

of feeling....and a soft echo....She is an irresistible sense of
emotion....with ever flowing tears....She equip the house with its
needs....a path way to salvation..... Mother....what do you know
about mother....a mother is a beauty and creativity....a mother is a
fanciful imagination and a joyful creature....She is an elegant Jewel
..... And an everlasting Pearl...A mother shares the bliss of
life...She is the means of complain.
She is the pillar of command....She is above, a sign of Allah and his
miracle for people to ponder over!

“Mother” you mean a lot to me

“Mother” is such a simple word,

But to me there’s meaning seldom heard.
For everything I am to day,
My mother’s Love showed me the way.
1 will love my mother all my days.
For enriching my life in so many ways.
She set me straight and then set me free,
And that’s what the word “mother” means to me.
Thanks for being a wonder mother to me, Mom!
—Karl Fuchs.

54
 Chapter Six
Qur’anic Injunctions on Obedience towards Parents

‘'There never was a woman like her; She was gentle as a dove and
brave as lioness....The memory of my mother and her teachings
were, after all, the only capita! I have made my way. ”
— Andrew Jackson

(jjilljlljJ oUl \1\ Ui M ; ^3 <Ull JlS

Yj Uil U41 us 3li jl UiSkljgn aip oiiu lit UUAI
*»
I^jl JaJ 4-ak^l (ja J.lll £*Uk Ua$J j U^9 (JSj

C- —

“The Lord has decreed that you worship non hut Him, and that you
be kind to Parents whether one or both of them attain old age in
your life. Say not to them a word of contempt, nor rebel them but
address them In terms of honor”. “And, out of kindness, lower to
them the wing of humility and say: ” My Lord! bestow on them your
mercy even as they cherished (raised) me in childhood. ” Q: 23-24

Commentary & Analysis: A critical look at the above verse reveals

that, the spiritual and moral duties are now brought into
Juxtaposition (coincidence or concurrence), we are to worship none
but Allah, because none but Him alone is worthy of worship not
because of “the lord your God is jealous God, visiting the iniquity of
the father upon his children unto the third and forth generation of
them that hate me.”[Exodus -20:5]
Note that the act of worship may be collective as well as individual;
Hence the plural " Ta 'buduu ” ( you worship). Kindness to parents is

55
an individual act of piety; hence the word ”FaLaa-TaquT\ (to say).
In the second verse, the metaphor used is that of a high-flying bird
which lowers her wing out of tenderness to her offspring. There is a
double aptness (correctness):
1-When the parent was strong and the child was helpless, parental
affection was showered on the child: When the child grows up and
is strong, and the parent is helpless, can he does less than bestow
similar tender or care on the parent? It is a big question for you to
ponder upon.
2-But more: he must approach the matter with gentle humility: for
does not parental love remind him of the love with which Allah
cherished His creatures? There is something here more than simple
human gratitude: It goes up into the highest spiritual order.

lVj£ aL\ AiLk UUAl yuyi liLajj" : J*

Ljj (JlS ^1Jj Ibl
'jcki o'j jaij j yt ji\ aioki 'j^\
UpM QaaIm/aB (JA Cluj ^ J yLatj ftlliajj
^c. L-jLxj-ol ^ ^£.jliVm Jjlkjjj 1 jLaC. Ua (J^Ij

Ullia. VI o

“We /?ave enjoined on man kindness on his parents: In pain did his
mother bear him, and in pain did she give his birth. The carrying of
the child to his weaning is (a period of thirty months). At length when
he reaches the age offull years. He says: ”Oh, my Lord! Grant me
that I may be Grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed
upon me and upon both my parents and that I may work righteous
such as You may approve. And be gracious to me in my issue. Truly

56
have I turned to You and truly do I bow to You in Islam. “Such are
they from whom we shall accept the best of their deeds and pass by
the ill deeds (They shall be) among the Companions of the
Garden: a promise truth, which was made to them (in this life). “But
(there is one) who says to his parents, ”Fie on you!” Do You hold
out the promise to me that I shall be raised up, even though
generations have passed? rising again) "And re-but the Son): ”Woe
to you have faith! For the promise of Allah is true”. But they say”
This is nothing but tales of the ancients. ”_Q: 15-17

Commentary c& Analysis:

The time of weaning was stated to be the age of two years,24
months, and six months is the minimum period of human gestation
(when he become a toddler)after which the child is known to b'
viable. This is in accordance with the latest ascertained scientif
facts that, the average period of weaning is much less than 2
months.
The maximum period of breast feeding (2years) is again in
accordance with the time that the first dental tooth is ordinarily
completed in a human child. The lower milk incisors( from Latin, it
is the first kind of tooth that grows in the mouth of infants)in the
center come out between 6th and 9th months; then come out the milk
teeth at the intervals, until the Canines(relatively long pointed
teeth)appear. The second molars (the foremost and most
complicated tooth) come out at 24 month and with them the child
has a complete apparatus of milk teeth. Nature (Allah) now expects
him to chew and masticate and be independent of his mother’s milk
completely. On the other hand it hurts the mother to feed from the
breast after the child has a complete set of milk teeth. The
permanent teeth begin at the sixth year and the second molar come
at the 12th years. The third molars are the wisdom teeth, which may
appear at 18 to 20 years or not at all.

57
I

The age of full strength (Ashudd) is held to be between 18 and 30 or

32. Between 30 and 40 the man is in his best manhood.
After that he begins to look to his growing issue and rightly
commends the new generation to Allah. Perhaps his spiritual
faculties also gain the upper hand after 40.
Also a godly man often has an ungodly son, who flouts all that the
father or mother held sacred and looks upon them as old-fashioned
and unworthy of respect or regard. The contrast in an individual
family may be matched by the contrast in the passing and rising
generations of mankind. All this happens as a passing phase in the
normal evolution of mankind. And there is nothing in this to be
despondent about. What we have to do is for the mature generations
to bring up their successors in godly ways and for younger ones to
realize that age and experience count for something, especially in
the understanding of the spiritual matters and other issues of human
concern. Verses-14-15:

jUc. 4j
(Cuj^ Uu ' ■' ' yi

qUa! 0 JJXM-----

“And we have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: In

travail (painful labor) upon travail did his mother bear him and in
two years was his weaning: (hear the command). ”Show gratitude to
me and to your parents: To Me is (yourfinal) abode.
But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of
which you have no knowledge, obey them not: Yet bear them

58
company in this life with Justice, "(and consideration) andfollow the
way of those who turn to Me(in love): In the end the return ofyou all
is to Me and / will tell you the truth (and meaning of all that you
did.)”

Commentan’ & Analysis:

The set of milk teeth in a human child is completed at the age of two
(as mentioned in the other verse) which is therefore the natural
extreme limit for breast feeding. In our artificial life the duration is
much less. Where the duty to man conflicts with the duty of Allah, it
means that, there is something wrong with the human will, and we
should obey Allah rather than man. But even here it does not mean
that, we should be arrogant or insolent to parents and those in
authority. We must be kind, considerate and courteous, even where
they command things which we should not do and therefor
obedience becomes our highest duty. The worship of false thing
(idols) which are alien to our true knowledge, thing that goes against
our own pure nature as created by Allah.
In any apparent conflict of duties our standard should be Allah’s
will, as declared to us by His command. That is the way of those
who love Allah and their motive is disobedience to parents or human
authority where disobedience is necessary by Allah’s law is not self
willed rebellion or defiance, but love of Allah, which means the
true love of man in the highest sense of the word.
And the reason we should give is,” Both you and I have to return to
Allah: Therefore not only must we follow Allah’s will, but we must
command nothing against Allah’s will.”
These conflicts may appear to us strange and puzzling in this life.
But in Allah’s presence we shall see their real meaning and
significance. It may be that, that was one way in which our true
Mettle (courage) could be tested: for it is not easy to disobey and
love man at the same time.

59
 Uljfl Ajjfllj

jjc. Ajsj^. £7^=J J^aj c_5-aC. (jlS ;.Ialo <jj A-oL-j jJ-aVl (J^
; j a1tl4-^ CjUj'V^j A2jU dAj^u Lojls ^UaII ^ IaI^>3

A -wl\ t.r>j aIj ^ja C_n_^a>

(jjJail^o j^. Ij Ul jj C” n>^ .las
jail Ciul' Jl Cj.»a .13j
^j ■ ^» >~y -ft l_J 1 j^\ j AjjjI .13 j
jj-iAui C u Un La cilljj

(IP? L5^ f^JJ ^»J

He embarked upon Haii for his Mother

and saw her in a dream

King Usamat Bun Munqaz narrated that: There was once a Muslim
by name Umay Nasr, who went to perform Hajj on behalf of his
deceased mother. He then saw her in his dream reciting this poem
for him praising him for his obedience, respect and kindness to her
and above all performing Hajj in her name which she could not
make when she was alive.

a!a\ dj^aj (JlaJ

<J* 1 LLlii (jjl

L C_i3 Lti1

LS^JJ ^ dii
AjS^j ^IjaSl q\ ^lc-1 dnS Lq . i
1
............................... .^Wlj di.il j # ^La-a l^jl 4_la
O (jjiuuj lilajJaJj A^at dl^aJ 1 \i

60

i
 ^1

(VIan is still an infant until his Mother’s death

Where you are my Mother....Where are you my Compassion
Where are you my Soul.........

How could life be comfortable after you, and how could I feel
delighted after your departure from me. I never knew that I will feel
the impact of the huge vacuum since your departure for ever until
my death. Verily, the distress and pain have increased ....How could
he be comfortable to laugh and live in peace that lost his mother.

Mother O’ Mine

If I were hanged on the highest hill,

Mother O’ mine’ Mother, O’Mine!
I know whose love would follow me still,
Mother O’Mine, O’Mother O’mine!
If 1 were drowned in the deepest sea,
Mother O’mine, O’Mother, O’mine!
1 know whose tears would come down to me,
Mother O’mine, O’ Mother O’mine!
If I were damned of body and soul,
1 know whose prayers would make me whole.
Mother O’mine O mother O’mine!
!
i —Rudyard Kipling.

61
 Chapter Seven
Ahadith (Wisdom) of the Prophet on the effect of
Parental Disobedience
“Who is that who loves me and will love me forever with an
affection which no chance, no crime of mine can do away? It is you
my mother.”
—Thomas Carlyle.

Mothers deserve much companionship

than fathers

U; Jlis (^xL-o )<a3ll J^.j * (3^ AJlc.

i Jia i vii-ol ; Jis ^ Cy : Jisi *n Jlia j ,3^i j* (J.^j
Mjji : JlS : JlS uSlil : JlS V L>

^kn<aj (_5 Jlaull ----

On the authority of Abu Hurairah may Allah be pleased with him

said; a man came to the prophet one day and asked,:”Oh prophet,
who is the rightful person to deserve my companionship? The
prophet said: Ummuka, (your mother), and he said then who? The
prophet said: Ummukafyour mother),and then who, the prophet
said: Ummuka and when he asked the same question for the fourth
time, the prophet said: Abuuka,{yow father),only once.
From the afore mentioned hadith it could be easily understood that,
the prophet mentioned “mother” for three consecutive times before
mentioning “father” only one time, meaning he took welfare of
mothers with all seriousness it deserves by virtue of the fact that
they play the most difficult role in the life of children. He was raised
by three different mothers, the first was his own biological mother

62
Aminah who died on the way back from a journey at
“Abuwa” a village between Makkcih and Madinah when the
prophet was about six years of age. He was then raised by
Barakatul-Habashiyyah,(an Ethiopian) who was his mother’s house
help at the time. Earlier before their journey Halimatu Sa’adiyah
was his wet nurse or foster mother for two years. So it was not out
of place that he had an intuition from Allah to make such a powerful
pronouncement regarding mothers by virtue of love, affection and
compassion he attracted from each one of them during infancy.

Preferring Parental Obedience above Worship

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go?*
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63
■

i
On the authority of Abu Hurairah may Allah be pleased with him
said, the Prophet may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him
said; “Nobody spoke in a cradle except three babies; ISSAH
(JESUS), IBRAHIM and JURAIJ.
And Juraij used to be highly religious and pious. He erected a tent to
be in seclusion and meditation. His mother came to him one day and
met him making .Sa/a/(prayer)she called him,”Juraij”(wanting to talk
to him)He said ;”Oh Lord! my Mother and my Sa!atT\in a dilemma
as to who to attend to) he decided to continue with his Salat, the
mother then turned away and left. She however came back the next
day and found him in the same mood as the previous day. She called
him;”Oh Juraij”He said;”Oh Lord my Mother and my SalatT'He
continued with the Salat, and she left. She came the next morning
and met him making Salat again. She called him the third time and
he repeated the same statement he made the two previous nights.
Upon ignoring her for three days in a roll, she then prayed: ”Oh
Lord do not take his soul until he looks at the face of a prostitute”.
And Juraij happened to be in the community of Banu Israil, who
started talking about him, his piety and devotion to Allah. There
happened to be a beautiful prostitute or whore among them who is
very notorious. This lady said to them:” If you want, I could put him
in a test for you.” They agreed, She went to his tent and stood
behind him, but he did turn to look at her. She then went to a
shepherd who was busy in his tent. She seduced him and he had an
intercourse with her and she conceived or became pregnant. When
she gave birth later she claimed that the father was Juraij. The
people took him away from his tent, destroyed it and begun to beat
him up. He asked them their problem with him and they said; “you
have fornicated with this girl and she gave birth, they brought the
baby and he told them,” let me pray and come back.” He left them to
make supplication and after which, came to the baby, touched its
stomach and asked;

64
 “Oh baby, who is your father?” the baby answered him saying,” the
Shepherd”. Upon the baby’s amazing reply and out of guilty
consciousness, they approached Juraij trying to kiss and hag him.
And even promised to build his cell with Gold and Diamond, but he
told them to build it as it was with clay.”
This is quite a long hadith and the first part mentioned above has a
direct impact on the subject of the discussion. It indicated how Allah
answered the prayer of the Mother of Juraij, upon ignoring her for
three times in spite of his piety and supplication to Allah. Due to the
power of mother’s prayers towards their children, which Allah
answers in a twinkle of an eye, the prophet in another hadith urged
Mothers not to pray to their children in negative manner or wish
them doom.
Woe unto he who met his Parents and
did not enter Paradise
^ aAjl Jla :<J15 Aic. j 3jjjA ^ (jl
Jlia ? J 1-jlr^ -ill d_>»-*1J W C>* ^jjl J ^J
" A 1-s.U d^ >3 1 jl LaA.la»l -lie. dllj.ll

o^ -----

In another Hadith also reported by Abu Hurairah, the Prophet may

peace and blessings of Allah be upon him said:
“Woe unto him, and woe unto him and woe unto him. “And the
Sahabah sitting by him curiously asked:” who, Oh messenger of
Allah, he has really failed and lost a great deal. The prophet
answered: “He who met his parents in their old age one or both of
them and he did not enter paradise.”
The hadith indicates that those who meet their parents alive should
count themselves blessed for having a window of opportunity to
serve them in a bid to enter Jannah.

65
F

Obedience to Parents increases one in

Age and Wealth
j cdlLo
j Jli ; Jli <Gc. *jI)I cs-^J (j-J CjF"
.4^.J Jx^xila aJj\ ^ 'L^iL ji Aijj 4_ik. <Al (jl o Jj-j

^\»rt<oj o\jj__

On the auth°rity of Anas Bun Malik may Allah be pleased with him
said, He heard the Prophet may the peace and blessings of Allah be
upon im said: He who will be happy to see himself increase in
wealth should be obedient and kind to his parents.” And in another
a man asked the Prophet: “Is there anything that remains
^0r ^ me t0 *n terms of kindness to my parents after their
fea . * e ProPhet said: “Yes Prayer to them and seeking for
orgiveness for them, respecting and honoring their kith and kin or
close relations.
Allah keeps all sinful acts, and will not punish
mankind until the day of judgment,
except Parental Disobedience
4alc. 4&\ 4&\ Ji t Jli <Gc. ^h\ CF0
4*Si\ (jfli Jle C-ku k"\ g jJ

".plkoll Ji SUaJl

On the authority of Abdalah Bin Masud, may Allah be please with

him says, the prophet may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon
him says: “Allah keeps all sinful acts will not punish mankind until
the day of judgment, with the exception of parental disobedience,
for Allah will render his punishment on the disobedient and
disrespectful one, here in this world before his or her death.”

66
 So that is the main key to Jannah that every Muslim wishes to enter
in order to enjoy its unimaginable and incredible luxury. It is
therefore important for every Muslim to be closer to his parents,
mothers in particular and make them your best companions.
Mothers have absolute right to be with you, because the more they
see you or hear your voice, the more you penetrate their hearts with
joy and happiness. It is even said that distancing ones self from his
parents looses him or her a lot of benefits or goodness.
Some Scholars are with the opinion that, whenever a child or an
adult leaves his parents, he inflicts some inherent psychological pain
in their hearts because they tend to loose hope of seeing this child
once again before their death. A man who came from Yemen
approached the Prophet and said he wants to participate in
Jihctd(Holy War) the Prophet asked him;” Is your Mother alive? “ he
said : “Yes”, and the Prophet said: “Go back and devote your service
to her, your Jannah is beneath her foot”.
Remember that, fulfilling their needs should be of outmost priority
same as you take your wives and children’s responsibilities.
The hadith says the results of obedience or otherwise will be
manifested even on this earth before the eternal life. Meaning thi°
will reflect in the day to day affairs of any person who disobeys o
obeys and expresses kindness to them.
A woman came to the prophet and asked him: “My mother refused
to embrace Islam and I want to distance myself from her, what is
your opinion?” the prophet advised her not to distance herself from
the mother, but obey and respect her in spite of her refusal to accept
Islam.
The prophet used to go to his mother’s grave to cry and seek for
forgiveness for her. He used to show a great deal of respect to one of
his mothers, Halimatu Sa’adiyah who was his wet nurse and
Whenever he sees her in Madina, he would stand up, pray for her
and spread his scarf for her to sit on.

67
When his favorite wife, Aisha asked hin. who was that person he
would said:"cr*' ^ ^"(she was my mother after the death of my
mother). A man came to the prophet and said he had committed a
very serious sin and wanted to know if there is any chance of
repentance, the prophet asked him:” Is your mother alive?” he said,
“No”, the prophet asked further,: “ Do you have an Aunt?” he said:
”Yes”. The prophet then advised him to express his obedience and
kindness to her.” this hadith implies that because of blood relation to
your mother, similar kindness could be rendered to her sisters when
she dies and this is a means of answering one’s prayer. This is an
authentic hadith related by Imam Tirmidhii in his Sunan.The famous
luminary and galaxy of Quranic Interpretation, Abdallah Ibn Abbass
said;” Two things are not separate from each other; Obedience to
Allah and his Messenger, Salat and Zakat and expressing your
thanks to Allah and your Parents.
There was a man who approached Ibn Abbass and said : ”1 have
proposed to a woman, and she refused to marry me. A different
person proposed to her, she agreed to marry him and I killed her
out of jealousy, will my repentance be accepted?” and Ibn Abbass
asked him:” Is your Mother alive?” he said:” No”, he then told him:”
Seek /or Allah’s forgiveness and devote your self «n prayer to him
according to your ability”. When he left, the narrator of this hadith
said:”l then asked Ibn Abbass why he asked him about his Mother,
and he said:”l do not know any work closest to Allah than obedience
to Mothers”.
Aisha, the mother of the faithfuls, may Allah be pleased with her
also narrated that, a woman who was fond of suite saying, charm
and magic and associating partners with Allah arrived in madina
seeking to know if she could repent. Aisha says:” I saw her crying
when she realized the prophet was not alive to solve her problem.
She even lamented that:” My repentance will not be accepted”.
I(Aisha) then asked the Sahabah of the Prophet:” This woman came

68
to ask about repentance, but the Prophet is dead, she became sad that
she did not meet him and she is here to ask you the Sahabah." then
the woman said: “I used to work magic, worship idols and more,
how do 1 repent?”. None of the Sahabah knew what to say because
nobody wants to advice her upon what he does not know. They only
told her that: “ had your parents or either one of them was alive; it
would have sufficed you a means for repentance by expressing
kindnessto them”. This was related by Imam Hafiz Ismael Ibin
Kathir in his great Encyclopedia of History,("^4^jSM^")
the Beginning and the End.

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y.Unl n ^yaJiJdJJlftil4Lu^ya ^JILJajJ! 4-U^ya ^yo (Jib]'

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Jjl* ^A^k A ^o^UJl JiJl —

11 02c. j 4-djj j AjU^. ^LaaII Lq (JS ^g-9 (_£ jUall M

The Right of a Child

There is the need to determine the right of the child regarding

breast-feeding for approximately two years. And when the child
matures from the lactation stage to the stage of kindergarten, a
competent person should take care of him or her. And this should be
decided by the mother. Because a baby in its infancy does not need
to have good mental capacity. But it needs compassion and tender­
heartedness in conformity with the natural instinct of a mother.

69
p

oUkii ^ aIo o\jA Cy* L>^

V jpH Ut ji tills f\ ij y
\ — '
cA^ *
It is not an Orphan the one whose parents have passed away and left
him, to face the harsh and difficult life circumstances...But an
Orphan is the one who finds his mother alive but detached from him
or a father who is always busy.

oijc. (jl£ U (jluall j

.*iA7kl-----

A child always grows on the manners his father is used to.

i.u^w a1o5jS &J VJ tlAii-l lil (j 1

If you straighten a branch (premature) of a tree, it will stand straight.

But you can not soften a timber when it is matured.
To my Mother
Because I feel that, in the Heavens above
The angels, whispering to one another,
None of devotional as that of “Mother”
Can find, among their burning terms of love,
Therefore by that dear name I long have called you.
You who are more than mother unto me,
And fill my heart of hearts, where Death installed you
In setting my life free.
My mother-my own mother, who died early,
Was but the mother to the one 1 loved so dearly.
And thus are dearer than the mother I know.
By that infinity with which my wife
Was dearer to my soul than soul-life. —T.S.Bell

70
 Chapter Eight
Factors that bring about good Parental Tutelage

“ What makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the
courage to raise one. ”
— Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States.

There are numerous ways and means of raising children to grow up

courteous and caring to their parents and this chapter will deal at
length with some of these factors that were advocated by the Qur'an
and Sunnah.

Instill in them Islamic teachings and Morals:

The Prophet may the peace and the blessings of Allah be upon him
said:” JaI ‘ cJ AiOlii (^Ac. j\ Ijjii"
V) (JJa V ^jJ (jLa^.^11 (jli l OUj
# "AjUL-oI
“Train your children on three manners, love for the Prophet, Lovi
for households and recitation of the Ouran, for those who carry the
Qur’an (readers) will be beneath the shadow of the throne of Allah
on the day that there will be no shadow except the shadow of Allah
with His custodians and friends The hadith implies that, the father
should always love the prophet and his households, he does that by
way of implementing his Sunnah and that of his Sahabah and his
households as well as reading the Quran on daily basis which the
prophet recommended to be recited completely for at least each
week if not able to be recited every three days. Ibn Abass even said
if one cannot read the entire Quran for one month (meaning 2
chapters) every day the person is considered as some one who has
distanced himself far from the Quran and whiles you are paying

71
heed to this hadith in your home and your kids are growing and
observing this, they begin to develop interest in it and then you have
to begin teaching them basic Arabic letters that will eventually
enable them to learn the Quran easily even before they start
Kindergarten. In another hadith:

O '

la aLAVqW <Uil Laj

^ Ua iS&il ^ LHi^ai •u^.t

On the authority of Anas Bin Malik , may Allah be pleased with him
said:”He who recites the Qur’an and work according to its
principles, Allah will prepare a special crown for his parents on
the day of judgment. And this crown would be brighter than the
light of the sun on earth, how much more for the one (child) who
works by its letter and spirit.” This hadith was reported by Abu
Dawud.
And remember this could only be achieved if both of you or one of
you (mother or father) reads the Ouran.
This point is a testimony to the statement made by a prominent Arab
poet, Ahmed Shawqii;
oj/i oijc. qIS Lo C5ic. Uu3 yLuill Lilij
“Young one from us grows on what (manners), his father is fond of
or is used to”.
Just observe what happens with your young brothers or sisters or
even your own children when they are toddlers, the boy having
known that his father put on the kufi (hat) to make Salat, when the
father places the kufi on a table or chair, the little one would pick it
up, put it on him and place his palms on his chest in Salat mood.

72
The same applies to the little girl who picks her mother’s veil and
put it on trying to imitate her mother making Salat.
This sounds interesting and it is at this stage that parents have to
capitalize on this window of opportunity to inculcate in them the
culture of devoting themselves towards Salat for the Prophet said in
another Hadith:

“Sanction your children to make Salat at the age of seven and beat
them (though softly) at the age of ten (when they refuse).”
The prophet recommended beating at the age of 10 conscious of the
fact that, at this age a boy although still young but could be able to
distinguish what is right from what is wrong, and another Hadith
narrated by Nasaahii says;” Authorize them to make Salat if they
could tell between left and right”. And science has proven that at the
age of four, a child’s brain is at its sharpest stage because by then all
the Cognitive (Capability) Structures that brings about sharp
memory begin to lay down and from then on all what happens or
heard in the past begins to get accumulated or embedded in the brain
and with constant effort, dedication and commitment by parents to
teach them the Quran and Hadith from that infancy stage, they will
develop “photographic memory” technically referred to, “Ideatic
memory”, a deep and penetrating capacity to recall what they
learn as toddlers. An Arab poet puts this scientific fact in a poetic
perspective when he says:
jx *.^11 ^3 La ^iLu
^£1 U (jij y*^3 La

“1 see myself always forget what I learnt as an Adult. And 1 do not

forget what I learnt as an Infant. However knowledge is what you

73
learn as an infant. But wisdom is what you learn as an Adult.”
Another wise man buttressed this with these inspirational words of
wisdom:
fuL&l*£LJIj oXUlS pxJ!"

‘‘Knowledge during infancy is like writing on a rock (highly

indelible) and knowledge during Adolescence is like writing on the
water (highly erasable)”. Going by the above analysis, one could
deduce that, the prophet may the Peace and the Blessings of Allah
be upon him is the greatest scientist par excellence, especially when
he advocated teaching them the Quran and Sunnah from infancy
because he was educated, inculcated and inspired in the University
of Allah the Almighty and emerged with highest distinction marks
and a repertoire (a collection or list) of multi-dimensional
scientific prophecies that have been confirmed by the past and
present scientists as real. A further studies indicate that if you show
a child a picture or narrate a story to him or her and you latter ask
him or her to describe or narrate it, he or she would do that with
minutes detail, But when a child becomes an adult, to relate the
same story or describe a picture, would find him trying to recap or
recall what he heard. And if children leam and assimilate the Sharia
or Quran and Hadith, they will eventually get acquainted with the
Islamic code of ethics governing child-parent relationship and
thereby put it in a practical reality. Because if they do not apply,
they should be conscious of its repercussion, and another poet says:”
(_$jJj Cii<T (j!j 4l y LluS Ijl

“If you do not know (something) it is a tragedy in itself, but if you

know it, then the tragedy is greatest.” In other words, not knowing
something itself causes one a great deal of calamity. However if
they know but pretend they do not know or violate the “dos” and

74
 “don’ts”, they should consider themselves in a worse form of
disaster.
Adopt good Parent-Child Relationship: It is important for parents
to respect the personalities of their children right from infancy
by refraining from calling them bad, demeaning and abusive names
like “Stupid Boy”, “Idiot” and what have you. That could make
huge impact on them as adults in future. Some parents (especially
fathers) are too stern and strict at home such that their kids do not
feel comfortable when their fathers are at home. And they have a
tendency of punishing these children for every minute or iota of
mistake that they commit. This is highly unlslamic because the holy
Quran Chapter 2, Verse 159 says:
floiri^jIrL I 4 cHiifT y]J Cluj Mil (jja j Caj3fl

(j/^aC- (J! O----- '[ cjJfjid! f iyj <11/

“It is part of the mercy of Allah that you deal gently with them. If
you were severe or hard-hearted, they would have broken away
from you: so pass over (their faults), and ask for Allah's)
forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then
when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah. For Allah
loves those who put their trust (in him). ” The Prophet also says:

"jj/jyjf^^jij/ Lcj , ijLs

’’Whenever compassion is eliminated from anything, it makes it ugly

and whenever compassion is applied in anything, it makes it
beautiful”. In another hadith, the Prophet says:

75
 _>*/ cjr* l)I

“Allah loves compassion or leniency in every situation”.

A wise man also said; “We can achieve through gentleness much
more than with severity. Can’t you see that, water grind away hard
rocks.”
A man once came to Khalifa Umar Bun Khatab, (may Allah be
pleased with him)and said: “ Oh Amirul - Muminin - My son relates
to me in a bad manner (disrespects me) and is disobedient towards
me and Umar invited his son and asked him: “ Why do you disobey
your father?” and the boy asked: “ Is there any act of disobedience
by a child and Umar said: “Yes of course” and the boy said: “What
then is our rights as children (before we become disobedient) and
Umar said: “A father has to choose a good mother for his child,
choose a good name for him as well as teach him the Holy Qur ’an. ”
And the boy told Umar: “My father did not do none of the above,
my mother was a slave owned by a fire worshipper, and he named
me“Jaalan” means someone who is always roaming and wandering
around and he never taught me even a letter from the Ouran ’’.Then
Umar became irritated at the father and said” “Go away (from me),
you came to me complaining about your child’s disobedience but
you rather disobeyed him before he disobeys you”. Another Hadith
the prophet says:
" f£Jl ^ <>la 1 j ^ji Ij-ojSi "
4-a.Lo ol ---

“Honor your children and give them good training for they are
special gift to you.”

76
As the wise say respect is reciprocal, this applies to even your own
children and this man clearly ignored the hadith of the Prophet that
implored parents to teach their kids the Ouran which was also
mentioned by Umar as one of the three duties of parents towards
their children.
Imam Ali, the Fourth Khalifah advised that:
. i jiia. ni ivn

That: “Do not nurture your children as your parents nurtured you,
for they were created for an era which is different from yours.”
Remember the Quran says that: "Oh you who believe protect
yourself and your households from the hell fire, the source of which
are people and stones". So ponder over this powerful injunction o
the Quran as you conclude this point.
Cover-up your differences in the presence of Children:
It is normal for a husband and wife to be in conflict or at
loggerheads with each other. This more often than not happens on
trivial issues. There are many instances that happened in the life of
the prophet himself, his Sahaba and the Tabiin (second generation).
The prophet used to have hard times with his wives. There was a
time he became peeved with them and ex-communicated them
completely for one month, he left their houses and went to seek
refuge in the mosque, he never allowed anybody access to him, so
when Umar wanted to see him he asked his servant, . • Rabiah
• . .
to seek
. • j i
the prophet’s permission to see him, when the servant was reluctant
to allow him access, he screamed on top of his voice in order for the
prophet to hear him, saying: “It’s me Umar, I am not here to
intervene on behalf of my daughter, Hafsat, and if you want me to
go and strike her head out with my sword, I am ever ready to do
that”. At this point, the prophet allowed him access but never agreed

77
with his idea of striking Hafsah. (this story was narrated in; The Life
of Muhammad, written by Shiekh Hykal Husseine).
There was another instance that, they isolated themselves from him,
they all decided not to talk to him or have any close contact with
him because he couldn’t meet their so many demands with much
financial commitment attached to them. And in all these instances he
never argued with them in front of his children. Hence Muslim
couples should be considerate of the fact that, whenever any
differences occurred between them, they need to move behind close
doors out of their children’s sight or sound in other to resolve their
differences, and this is the only way to avoid the situation where the
child will grow up in future to disrespect his mother or father
because of the demeaning attitude of the father against the mother or
vice versa. After all it takes two to tango. Quran chapter 3 verse 19
says:

Ijji-

“And relate to them in a kind and compassionate manner, but if you

hate them, (remember) perhaps you may dislike something and
Allah makes a lot of good things in it.”
There is this hadith that says: “A believer does not divorce or get
annoyed with a (wife) believer, if he despises a particular manner or
character of hers, he would admire her in another”. And always pray
to Allah to grant you patience to be able to contain or tolerate each
other’s behavior, especially the man, as another hadith related on
on the authority of Abu Huraira May Allah be pleased with him
says:”
(jfiU CaiAJ (jl i grjC*IIpLx.iRj
, " If- LuJJL jluiU ( LLjc. I (Jjj
. djj —

78
“He who believes in Allah and the last day should not abuse or harm
his neighbor, and be polite and kind to women for they were created
from a rib and the delicate part of the rib is the upper part, if you
want to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it crooked, it
will remain bent, so be polite and kind to women.”
Fudail Bun Iyaad, a great man of wisdom of the Tcicibi’een
generation also said:

“I used to realize my sin from the character of my beast and my

wife.”
This presupposes that if a person always worries himself with the
behavior of his wife towards him, it will reflect in his inter-personal
relationship with people at his work, or in public and thereby incur
their displeasure.
One of the means of avoiding or reducing some of the marit;
squabbles is right from the onset, a prospective husband has tv
consider and re-examine the woman he is going to marry by
choosing a pious and highly religious one. Another Hadith says:
Again,3 ”
*
“You carefully choose from where one of you releases his seed, for
the (blood) vein is poisonous.” It means, what ever behavior,
character or mannerism that is deeply rooted in a woman, is going to
have a direct impact in the behavior of her children. In yet another
Hcidith, the prophet cautioned Muslims by saying:
;JUa mi/ Lj {jsojdl c
(jc. ^oljj
y r,dy°^ &
n.cjjuJ! i “liu ^g-3 a

.(Ait
oljaH

<^aj)
V L
79

t
“Beware of polluted blood” and they (Sahabah) asked: “what is
polluted blood?” He said: “A beautiful woman from a bad root”.
Because a woman’s beauty in its self is a temptation, so with this
beauty coming from the bad and corrupted back ground, the
temptation and anxiety move from bad to worse.
As an African proverb says: “A crab does not deliver a bird”.
Ahmed Shawqii also said: “A mother is a school, if you prepare her
you prepared a youth with sound and healthy root or vain.”

Before a husband finally decides to divorce his wife, he has to think

about the consequences or the spillover effect of this action on the
future of his children. Naturally it takes the tenderheartedness of a
mother and the responsibility of the father to guide and guard a child
against deviant behavior and while the mother applies this natural
emotional sympathy and love, the father on his part adopts a mild
but strict or stem attitude in order to put this child on his or her toes.
Guard them against Peer Group Pressure'.
Growing up of children in bad companies is one of the most
significance factors of disobedience towards parents especially in
the western world. The holy Quran, in Suratul-Furcjaan, verses 27-
29 talking about the effect of bad company stated as follows:
jL lIiun i. j.k IILsr±uJ Lj cl^yy fdUzJI 11
jLuJXJ jLLmU! JZj Jj ^L*f jil9 ILLl uyi Jislfj
Sj— "Ujj-L

“On the day that the oppressor or unjust man will bite his Jingers (in
regret) saying I would have followed the path of the Prophet. And
woe on me for taking this as a friend for he led me astray from the
message after it came to me and verily the devil is the most forsaken
and unaided one ”.

80
This means that he who refuses to heed the call of the prophet to
follow on the right path but decided to let the devil mislead him to
keep up with bad company, will leave to regret it because there will
be a far reaching repercussion on him on the day of judgment.
The hadith says:
tjj£J![jj cduuJI &j.juJI j gdhsiHcj^jb cJi* "
ULluamJ £jl Lo J ( bkJj 4-Lo (jI Col^cdjjball

“The similarity of a good company or a bad one is like a carrier of

spray of (niisk) and the gold smith, for the carrier of the spray you
might smell good from him and smell bad from the gold smith." Yet
in another hadith: “Man is always on the path of his friend so each
of you should consider who he befriends”.
A poet added something similar to this hadith when he said:
JjILJU (jjj3 <JJj3 (jc- (Jxjjj jLu y p ljc.

<ic.jja3 4iil?dl /j (jUZ (jets

“Do not ask about a man, ask about his friend, for each man
imitates or emulates his friend. If he is a bad one, distance yourself
from him immediately, But if he is a good one, befriend him you
will be guided”. Another poet says:
<—0_puLc J>#/ ^pJjbuaj U^puLa L-fljJujyi^j.OiLC’

“He who lives among the honorable ones will grow up with honor.
And relating to the deviant or evil ones is not the way of honor.”
Finally another personified this situation when he says:

“Birds of the same feathers flock together”. So parents should render

81
a sober reflection on the above words of wisdom and decide for their
children the type of friends they want them to keep up with, so as to
make them respectful, obedient and courteous towards them.

Regulate their use of the Mass Media & the Internet:

The mass media is the most powerful and effective tool for socio­
cultural, political, educational and religious transformation of the
youth in this contemporary world. The media possesses two edge
swords; it kills and heals at the same time. It kills the morals of
those who use it in a negative sense and heals those who utilize it
positively.
It is rather unfortunate that, over here in the western world the media
is so liberal and free to the extent that, there is virtually no
censorship of the contents in the various outlets such as News
papers, Magazines, Television and the Internet. As a matter of fact
in spite of restrictions being placed on the children to drive their
minds off those outlets and periodicals, many of them get “windows
of opportunity” to switch through any TV channel, glance through
any magazine or newspaper and navigate any internet website that
they prefer without parental supervision or regulation. And most of
the media contents in the western world are entertainment-oriented
with only few educative programs.
According to the October, 2008 issue of the Awake periodical
dubbed: “Your Child and the Internet,” at any given moment,
millions of youths are on-line, whether at home, at school, at
friend’s house, or if they have internet access on a hand held device
or cell phone almost anywhere. In the United States alone, 93
percent of youths between the ages of 12 and 17 use the internet. In
Canada nearly half of all youths with cell phones can access the
internet with them. And in the United Kingdom, a study revealed
that, 1 in every 5 youths between the ages of 9 and 19 had internet
access in their bed rooms. It further indicated thatIf you are a

82
 parent, you are faced with a sobering reality: Your children are
probably more comfortable in this new cyber world than you are
and they even know how to keep you in the dark about their
activities... they are like natives and the parents are tourists in this
cyber world.”
As a matter of fact, Islam is not against entertainment per say,
because there is a hadith narrated by Imam Tirmidhi that says:
"dnaTr l ~iK /j/ < jjfcllc.U *Lc.LujJ *tC’Luj <_jjJkJl Ij^j"

“Entertain the heart in between the hours, for if the heart gets tied, it
becomes blind”.
However, the sort of entertainment Islam is referring to here is not
the one being glorified or hyped in the western media which is
diametrically opposed to its norms and values.
With the advent of the modem political, cultural and economic
concept called; Globalization, every innovation or idea introduced
by the western world through their powerful media, provokes a
reaction in the third world to emulate it within a matter of days or
weeks, and there is a maxim within the corporate world that put it in
a satirical manner such as: “ When America Sneezes the rest of the
world (third world) catches cold".
So the third world especially Africans are being bombarded with
morally corrupt media contents that mislead the youth to blindly
imitate or emulate the hip hop, urban sub-culture that has no regard
or respect for parents, by virtue of the liberty and freedom they
enjoy in those societies.
Many recent cases of parental abuse emanate from what the kids
view in the movies regarding rudeness and insolence of other kids
to their parents. One of these cases was of two kids who used their
guns to hit their father which was mentioned in Chapter Four.
However, many Islamic establishments or societies are using the

83
healing side of the media to effect change and inculcate sound
ethical norms and values within the up-and-coming generation of the
Muslim Ummah (masses).
These organizations in the western world are operating their own
TV stations, and are transmitting live on the internet and via
satellite, with both educative and entertaining programs that serve as
an alternative to the youth.
Besides, there are many Islamic websites with both video and audio
programs and are telecasting movies that are Sharict(Islamic ethics)
compliant. Also many Islamic book shops both in-store and on-line
are importing a lot of soft wares, DVDs and CDs that are meant for
the use of the young children to leam and have fun as well.
This will enable parents to “catch them young” with high sense of
Islamic consciousness and thereby prevent them from peer group
influence.
And below are some Islamic Websites for the benefits of readers:
* www.islamchannel.tv/Europe&U K.
*www.sultan.org/a/english.
*www.aswatalislam.net.
*www.islamway.com.
*www.islamnet.com.
* www.islamonline.net.
* www.keytoislam.com.

84
Impart Fear ofAllah in them and frequent the Masiid with them:

It is incumbent on parents to instill in their children high sense of

piety and fear of Allah, the Al-mighty.
The wise men say:” The fear of God is the beginning of Wisdom”. It
is with this fear of Allah right from the onset that, parents will see
the light at the end of the tunnel in their effort towards raising good
and cultured children. The hadith of the prophet says:
" (J^jaiTk (J^q (JjJafil l.'uka .ill j (3^ Lo "

“A father has never provided his son anything better than good
moral conduct”.
History is replete with children who were raised with piety and fear
of Allah, and have made huge impacts in their interpersonal
relationship with their parents which made an impact in the lives of
subsequent generations after them.
A striking example is the story of a young lady, which was narrated
by Aslam, a servant of Khalifha Umar Bun Khattab who says;” We
(with Umar) were once on a night patrol in the township of Madina.
We passed by a window of a house and suddenly eavesdrop a voice
of a woman saying to her daughter:” My daughter, go and mix water
with the milk and she said, Mother, haven’t you heard the order
given by IChalifha Umar?” She said: “What did he order against?”
He authorized one of his servants to announce that:” From now on
nobody should mix water with milk.” she said to her daughter:” I
said go and mix water with milk because you are in a place that
neither Umar nor his servant sees you.” the girl replied saying,” My
Mother, I can not obey him in public and disobey him in private and
if Umar does not see me, his Lord, Allah sees me”. And Umar was
listening to this amazing episode as it unfolds.

85
He then told his servant, Aslam to identify the door and get familiar
with this place, and they left.
However, the following morning, He called Aslam and said:” Go
to that house I told you to keep in mind yesterday and find out who
was making that statement and the one the statement was being
made to, and find out if they are married or not.” Aslam says:” I
went to the place and realized that the young lady was not yet
married and her mother as well, I came and informed Umar about it,
Umar called his three children and said to asked them : “Is there any
one among you who needs a woman and 1 will marry her to
him?.... had your father had any interest in women, non of you
would have defeated him in a competition to marry this girl.”
Abdallah said; “I have a wife”, Abdul-Rahman also said; “I have a
wife.” When it came to his turn A’asim said:”Oh father, 1 do not
have a wife, I will marry her.”
Umar then sent a delegate to her parents requesting her hand in
marriage to A’asim. His request was granted and A’asim married
her, she later gave birth to a daughter called, LAI LA who eventually
gave birth to Umar Bun Abdul Aziz, he became the sixth Khalifah
in the chain of succession of Islamic Khalifate.
Umar Bun Abdul Aziz the grand son of this pious woman inherited
her acts of piety such that he became one of the outstanding and
marvelous leaders who exhibited a high sense of justice, fairness,
equity and transparency during his reign.
This woman was circumspect to do anything to incur the displeasure
of Allah, conscious of the fact that, he sees her. As Imam Ahmed
Bun Hanbal says in his poem:
C5lc. <Ja (JSj Uojj Lo Iil
L-niu AjIc- Lq j 4x.\_u Aul VJ

“If you isolate yourself someday do not say, 1 isolate my self, but

86
say there is some one supervising me (though invisible) and do
not think that Allah is inattentive or unmindful even for one minute.
And that what ever you hide from Him is absent or invisible.”
The action of Umar was in conformity with the hadith of the prophet
mentioned above that says:” Choose carefully where each one of
you releases his seed (sperm), for the blood vein is poisonous”.
Meaning what ever character or behavior the woman has, is going to
have a direct impact in her child.
So parents, it takes fear of Allah to transform your child to be
sympathetic, courteous and compassionate towards you.
Salat (prayer) is also very significant especially in the Masjid
(mosque). Parents have to always frequent the Mosque with their
children, by so doing, they are unconsciously laying a good
foundation of Taqwah (fear) of Allah in them and Allah will always
answer their prayers and wishes to see their children in future to
be obedient and kind. A hadith says that:

“Allah grants people their needs as they are in their Mosques

(making Salat)'\ln another Hadith the Prophet cautioned his Ummah
about Salat and said:
U-iIc. qaol^Jj Ijjj 1$ .lie. <>"
OJC-jSj ,UJJ^ £* fjj ,jl£j \'jy
^ij ,uL>Uj

“He who keeps up to it, will serve as a light, a proof and a salvation
to him on the day of Judgment and he who did not keep up to it, will
fail to get the light, the proof and the salvation. And on the Day of
Judgment he will be in the company of Qaarun, Fir’aun, Haaman
and Ubbayu Bun Khalaf."

87
Parents should always try and read the above and other related
hadith to the kids over and over, in order to inculcate in them the
importance of Salat in their lives. And remember Ouran Chapter 29
Verse 45 says:

"...'JEM**1^1 oULnll O! "

“Verily, Stf/a/(prayer) forbids against all kinds of vices and all

scornful acts.” Hence through making Salat regularly, children who
have a tendency to disobey or disrespect their parents will change a
new leaf of life, since it forbids all kinds of vices, and will
appreciate the significance of parents in their lives.

Ensure Fairness between your Children:

Fairness, justice and equity should not be taken for granted when
dealing with children. When you want to share money or any
valuable among them, beware of giving preference to one particular
person or gender because it is not sharia compliant.
Some parents tend to give a preferential treatment to an elder or
younger children with a misconception that, those favorites have
bright future to take care of them. But those they treat unfairly might
be those who will be obedient, respectful and kind to them. As it
was said somewhere in the Bible; "The rejected stone becomes the
corner stone
There are dozens of cases of these nature that happen in various
societies especially in Africa, where the girl-child tend to be given
less priority when it comes to even significant issue such as
education, loosing sight of the fact that, the prophet advocates
education of both male and female gender.
This advocacy came in a hadith where he said;

^Lcluiaj ^Lha (J£ ^lxJ! ^ ilh

88
 I

"Seekingfor knowledge is incumbent upon both male andfemale. ”

He said in another hadith that:

n. fiLtuJl lIiLJ:id /«1^/ cluStl^ a (pSjy^l (jjj IjjLJ'

J oljj---

“Be fair among your children when you offer them gift, If I where to
prefer anyone, I will have preferred women.”
This implies that the girl’s needs are more pressing than the boy’s
and these needs could not be taken for granted.
There was an instance when a Sahabi, Abu Nu’aman Bin Bashir
came to the prophet and said :
cJ^ujj]l JLJ! (jA Li£* ^jLaxJ ^-Ll dnJnc-1 ji7? aIiI (f^ujyLj,r

.'ijbs f (jLaxJ A. iiJnC- / La (_Jla cdjy^l C "ijllC. / (Ja .'((**

erk-V-'/y l£^ -V jJl 4-1 cJls3 yMll cJjju;j by
".JJ+U
0SUi'.A ^ -Lo^.1 C.IJJ----

“I have given to my son Nuh’man so and so amount of money, the

prophet asked him:” Have you given the same amount of money to
the rest of your children as you gave Nu’aman? he said; No, the
prophet then said:" Get a different witness other than me, For I do
not bear witness to injustice and unfairness.”
Parents should take cue from this hadith which was narrated by
Imam Ahmad in his Musnad. Beware that apart from the crime
attached to this act, Allah will put them in a trial where those
children who were treated unfairly would end up being disobedient,
disrespectful and unkind to them as they grow.

89

l
The wise men say, one good turn deserves another and the reverse is
the same.

."OipB jll <l3ll Jai. ASll LjajM

^ukU___

He who pleases his parents pleases Allah and he who angers

them angers Allah.
<uiija i (jia..... ? q! a^ji J jiai e_iULji **
CaaaJ La <Ia1I (jlVVil i ^IsdaJl J t l$J tlnfl

t - A kaJl AJil Juc.

Do you fear to enter the hell and you like to enter Paradise...?Then
extend obedience and kindness to our Mother, By Allah if you were
polite in your conversation with her, and feed her, you will enter
Paradise provided you keep distance from major sins.

jJ' W tAs'
G**1' ^ J* oj* W 4^ Sollj jkS 4ajj jkS ^
j^-uj l$JluAi ^3 tllC- j-aj CiLalad tililj Lai j&jj t Ai&9
IjSj tillj Lai tlij-ui O-liill £IajI LL tlAilPj
lj2 Vj Uii ^Vuai Ujaa ^ AlalS jz. A/yjij
uLS Cijuu c^j CujImiI ^a 4ujjjj qLuaU LiliaIp j
IjaoVu j^lib L^-jlIS £.1j Vj libi 4ajj l$alc- JJaflj

The subject matter of this poem is advising men to be careful about

giving favoritism to their wives at the expense of their mothers, it
further stated the sort of pain they underwent in order to see them

90
 I

become healthy and morally up right individuals. And no matter

how these wives love you, they can not undergo a lot of difficulties
at your own expense.

A mother’s Love
A Mother’s Love is something
That is made of deep devotion
And of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish,
and enduring come what may.
For nothing can destroy it.
Or take that Love away....
It is patient and forgiving
When all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters.
And it still remains a secret
Like the mysteries of creation....
A many splendor miracle
Man can not understand
And another wondrous evidence
From God’s tender guiding hand.
— M.S.Rice

I
91
 Chapter Nine
Useful tools towards Parental Obedience

44A mother is the truest friend we have when trials, misery and
suddenness fall upon us, when adversity takes the place of
prosperity, when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert
us, when troubles thicken us, still will cling to us, and endeavor by
her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness,
and cause peace to return to our hearts. ”
— Washington Irving( 1783-1859).

Man could express his kindness and obedience to his parents by

going through the following factors. Some scholars say: “He who
Allah guards to observe these factors should consider him or herself
very fortunate to have expressed some level of obedience and
kindness towards his parents.”
The first factor is oral and second is physical, the oral factor has to
do with the tongue, and it is part and parcel of the rights of parents
for a child to guide against abusive and offensive words towards
them by being very polite, soft and tenderhearted.
Remember Allah has combined for the tongue two features; the first
feature is kind words and the second one is to shy away from loose
talks. Hence he who is blessed by Allah to always use kind words
and shy away from hurtful words to his parents, partly fulfilled act
of kindness towards them and Allah mentioned this vividly in
Suratul-Isra 7 (Ascension) verse 23 to 24 that was quoted in chapter.
Some among the earlier generation of scholars opined that, if there
was a word so small and disrespectful than “Uffin” Rough (a sign of
expressing your exhaustion with them), Allah would have advised
against it.

92
They further observed that, part of the words of kindness is for a
man to refrain from calling his father or mother by their real names,
but rather their fatherhood or motherhood names like “My father” or
“My Mother”. Allah gave us a typical example in Suratu/ Maryam
chapter 42, when prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) called his father and
advised him against disobeying and associating partners with Allah
saying: “Oh my father, why do you worship what does not hear and
does not see and would not benefit you.”
You could see that he did not call him by his name, but said, “My
Father”. Here other scholars also said that: whenever a son call his
father “My Father”, it makes him feel big and high with the sort of
responsibilities attached to this title.
Part of guarding one against his tongue is to try not to talk at a
gathering where his father or mother is present unless in two
situations: The first is if his talk is about knowledge. Second is if it
is concerning an important business or issue. Becuase they regard
talking in the midst of your parents without the above reasons as
disobedient and disrespect. It was revealed that Imam Muhammad
Ibn Seerin, one of the “Tabi’een” (second generation after the
Sahabah) scholars would keep mute and never talk if his mother
attends a gathering where he happens to be, until she leaves. A
stranger asked the Imam why he becomes speechless when his
mother or father shows up at an event, and he answered that, he
regards talking in their presence tantamount to disrespecting them.
Respect, says the wise, is reciprocal and the prophet says respect
your parents and your children will respect you.
It is not justifiable for a man to always give excuses in order to run
away from his parental responsibilities, especially in regards to
financial commitment to them. You should not loose sight of the
fact that, they sacrifice more than you could think of. They did
everything for you not that they had the resources in abundance, but
they were rather conscious of the fact as indicated by Martin Luther,

93
the African American Civil Right Leader in his book,“Call to
Conscience"’, that: "Life is hard, at times as hard as a crucible steel.
It has its bleak and bright moments like the ever flowing water of a
river, life has the soothing warmth of its summers and piercing
chills of its winter. God is able to lift you from the fatigue ofdespair
to the buoyancy of hope and transform dark and desolate valleys
into the sunlit path of the inner peace”. Another word of inspiration
comes from a prolific American writer and charismatic orator, Dr.
WAV. Dyer who says: “If we are not generous when it is difficult we
can 7 be generous when it is easy ”.
It is an understatement to say th*L Allah has blessed us especially
those living abroad with his abui.aant providence and prosperity in
order to take care of the poor, especially our parents who are
financially handicapped but alas, we tend to ignore this fact, and
there are many Ouran and Sunnah decrees that Allah and His
messenger implored us to consider this true fact as stated in the
chapters above.
However since we ignore this reality, some inspired non-Muslims
attest to that reality and there are numerous examples but only few
will be mentioned below.
The American media Mogul and generous celebrity, Oprah
Winfery of “Oprah Show” famed on ABC, Channel Six, in
America, when she went to South Africa few years ago, and met a
mammoth group of poor children, she became so excited in
eagerness to help and stated that: “Now I know why / have been
given so much, Now I know why" In order wise, Oprah was attesting
to the fact that, God has blessed her and placed the means of
livelihood of others in her care in disguise.
Dr. W.W. Dyer also made similar pronouncement in his book:
“Attitude of Gratitude” that, “Now I know why I have had so many
financial blessings. I feel so grateful for all that has come my way
that giving back seems to be the only avenue available".

94

I
Research has established that Serotonin, a naturally occurring
substances in the body that makes us feel more comfortable,
peacefully and even blissful is produced automatically in us, as a
result of kindness extended to the poor or needy especially parents.
It further indicated that, this serotonin is produced chemically in the
person extending the act of kindness as well as the recipient of this
kindness. It also improves the functioning of immune system. Just
imagine this! Kindness extended, received or observed beneficially
impacts the physical health and feelings of every one involved in it.
All would be smiling and is even more pronounced when the
receiver is your mother(parents).
No wonder that Dai la Lama, the leader of the Buddhists religious
temple in the Far East says: “Ifyou want others to be happy practice
compassion and ifyou want to be happy practice compassion ”.
Professor R.W. Emerson also said; “It is one of the most beautiful
compensations of this life that no man can sincerely tty to help
another without helping himself...Serve and then you will be
served”.
Causes of Parental Disobedience
1- Ignorance or Lack of education.
2- Arrogance or self-importance.
3-Lack of Piety or Fear of Allah.
4- Miserliness or Stinginess.
5- Reluctance to share willed-Properties to the beneficiaries.
6- Excessive attraction to Luxury and Materialism.
7- Divorce and Separation of Parents, (Broken-home).
8- Distancing one’s self far from the parents for long time.

Features of Parental Disobedience

1- Physical and Verbal abuse.
2- Acting contrary to their advice.

95
 3-Neglecting their Needs or Necessity.
4-Ex-communicating them for long time.
5-Vacating home without their consent.

Etiquettes that ensure good Child-Parent Relationship

1- Absolute obedience and kindness to them.

2- Attending to their needs with urgency and adequate service.
3- Relieving them off their burden or work.
4- Reminding them of Allah’s existence and teaching them what
they to know in case they are unlettered.
5- Praying and seeking Allah’s forgiveness for them, dead or
alive.
6- Encouraging your wife to be kind to your mother to win her
heart.
7- Reading stories of obedient children and their rewards.
8- Always think about being in their shoes, which will
eventually happen in future by the will of Allah.

96
 (JajlII (jjAiua j jL CjjaII

iilj Yj ^5^? \^\j V cIijaII liJ (_^jj V (ji cJ^Jl 1-iA

l^i 4_ii9 lila. alii .illd. 4JLqV i L5"f^

1.1C. A-lilJ ^*v^<|i\l AjJalik ir. ^1 * i .s 1 *i \Q dj^ol]

<&1 ^jS ^ fU —

This main theme of this poem is about death: Death is a path that
every body will ply, since the prophet himself ply the same route. It
further says, death has a sword that docs not miss its target; he who
missed a sword today will not miss it tomorrow.

l$J c-Uiu Y LjjJ {ja Lj

1 jILuj oLi3j \- j ^jouaJ

Id.ill Cj&jfi (Ja j

1 jl£ji
n ddS
ijiai Yi 3i ^

You the one who embraced this(material)world, that does not last
for ever...You will sleep(at night)and wake up(in the moming)as a
traveler ....You leave the embrace of this world and hug the ever
lasting paradise..? If you wish to enjoy the eternal bliss of paradise,
then do not think you will be secured from the scorch of the hell fire.

97

I
 4j ;jJl £jlL>

UjSj l&j* Oxj

jjl5 >i jSiSla
.N.A~yj —

The heart beat of a man tells him that,

Life is a matter of seconds and years.
Then do something (good) to be remembered after your death,
For the remembrance of a man is a matter of a second.

U' \ j Lae_iA j lj| ^ o^j-Ix-q LaLl dijl Lojl L ”

“Oh, son of Adam, you are just days that are numbered.
And whenever a day passes by, parts of you pass away.”

A field to meet every One

Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing,
There is a field; 1 will meet you there,
When the soul lies down in that grave,
The world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, Language even the phrase “Each Other,”
Does not make any more sense.
—Jalalu-Deenu-Rumii,a celebrated Persian Poet of thel2l,1Century.

98
 Chapter Ten
Death, a wake -up call towards Parental Obedience

"Death is not a period that ends the great sentence of life, but a
comma that punctuates it to a more lofty significance. Death is not a
blind alley that leads the human race into a state of nothingness, but
an open door which leads man into life eternal. ”
— Martin Luther King.

Death is the common phenomenon and an eternal transition or better

still, a rite of passage to the ethereal life that every human kind will
experience. There are numerous references in the Holy Ouran and
Sunnah reminding us that life of this "dunya” (world) is like a
transit and every traveler on transit is bound to reach his or her final
destination, which nobody can predict when it will happen. So
therefore as the prophet advised us saying, we have to always
increase our remembrance of this phenomenon that eliminates the
worldly pleasure and by so doing, we will be kind and
compassionate to our parents before they soon depart or we depart
before them.
As a prominent intellectual, Abu Hullal Ma’ary says: "Life is too
short so honor your parents with it. But the mother is the first to
deserve the honor and kindness, remember how she carried and
breast-fed you and you will be blessed with the greatest honor here
and in the hereafter
So the one who always disrespect his parents, the one who came
down from Europe wanted to “pay back” his mother for her breast­
feeding effort with meager amount of $2000, the one who killed his
mother because of her disapproval of his choice of wife, all of them
are selfish and unsympathetic, they think these ugly and
unpardonable acts will help give them peace of mind and feel good

99
about themselves? This people should remember that, they brought
them into this world empty handed and will soon go back empty
handed, just ponder over the statement of this eminent Islamic
thinker, Ibrahim Bun Adham who said: “His (man’s) beginning is
(“nutfa”) mixed drops of male and female sexual discharge, that is
rejected and his end is a dead body (corpse) that is unwanted”
Imam Shafi’ee of blessed memory also stated in his poem:

“Oh my soul it is not

Except a few days ofpatience.
As if the extent were but a Jew dream.
Oh my soul pass quickly on through this world
And leave it, for indeed life lies ahead of it ”

Violators of their parent’s rights and honor should always be

conscious of death and stop thinking that they have more years to
spend on earth. But rather believe that, their days are numbered and
it will come impromptu, no body knows when but it will eventually
happen.
It is natural for each Tom, Dick and Harry in this universe to wish
and crave for longevity in their lives, and regardless of the
advancement of age of a person he or she would be desiring to live
longer, but man should not loose sight of the fact that no matter how
long one lives, he or she will eventually make that inevitable
journey to eternity.
Let us derive a lesson from prophet Musah(Moses). It was said that
Moses lived for about 175 years and when the Angel of death
appeared to him in a form of a man, and told him that, Allah sent
him to take away his soul. Upon this news, Musah, not knowing the
real personality that appeared to him, smacked him intensely. The
man could not stand the strength of Musah. So he went back to
Allah and told him that, Musah was aggravated at him because he

100
 does not want to die soon. Allah, the Al-mighty then sent him back
to tell Musah to place his palm on his Bull and try to count the
number of hairs on his skin which were covered with his
palm and when he noticed this number, He grants him more
chance to live for more years, exactly the same as the number
of hairs on the skin of the bull under his palm.
The Angel of Death this time around appeared to Musah in his
original form, and told him the new decision made by Allah about
him. Musah then asked the Angel“what is next after
those years that Allah just granted me ?”. The Angel answered "
" " /‘death”, Musah said, “then take my soul now”.
The above scenario between Musah and the Angel of death
presupposes that, since the ultimate destiny of a man is death, that
increment in age will rather make him a sorry sight and a misfit in
his society, as a result of aging and his own kith and kin will be
dreaming of the day to see him depart this world.
William Shakespeare’s poetic words of wisdom are also enough a
clarion call for all. Talking about death he said:
“The world is a stage.
And all men and women merely players,
They have their entrances and their exits. ”
The analysis made recently about death by Sheikh Umar Shuaib
was interesting when he was preaching at funerals at Yankasa
Masjid in New York. He said we have three stages that death relates
to man:
1. Qjy* Real Knowledge, (llmmul -Yaqeen)
2. o$c— Eye Witness.(^/m// -Yaqeen)
3. o*d' 3^- Personal Experiencz.(Haqul-Yaqeen)

101
llttiul yaqeen, means everybody knows that everyone is bound to
die. A inul Yaqeen is when one sees a dead person and Hakul-Yaqeen
is when man himself is dead.
So therefore having known that this process is real, before our
parents reach the second stage of “Ilmul Yaqeen” and before we
ourselves approach the “Hakul-Yaqeen”, let us pay heed to the
prophetic advice in the Quran and Hadith in order to attract
Jannah(Parad\se) which is under their feet.
As you conclude dear reader, render a sober reflection on this
penetrating and insightful statement (which paraphrases dozens of
verses of the Our'an and Ahadith of the Prophet) by a philosopher
and a social thinker, Joseph Campbell that:” Eternity is not the
hereafter, this (earth) it is. Ifyou don V get it here, you would not get
it anywhere. ”

U£Ij liLcJ dili-ll j

1 (j(ji

Your Mother delivered you crying and screaming.

And the people around you are smiling and joyful,
Hence be eager to see yourself while they cry,
Smiling and Happy on the day of your death.

102
 REFERENCES

I - Holy Quran-Yusxf Ali’s Translation and Commentary.

2- Sahih-(Authentic) of Bukhari.
3- 5r//?/77-(Authentic) of Muslim.
4- Siman of Imam Tirmidhi.
5- Musnod of Imam Ahamad.
6-Mu’hjizcitil Qu’ran (Miracle of the Qur’an). By Shiekh
Muhammad Mutawwalii Sha’araawii.
7- Biclay ah - Wal-Nihayat{ t h e Beginning and the End) of Imam
Muhammad Hafiz Ismael Ibin Kathir.
8- Tariiqal-Maclina (the Mac/inan Way) of Hujjatul-Islam Imam Ibn
Taymiyyah.
9- Badarul-Munir (The Beaming Moon),an ancient Arabic Litrature,
By Jibran Ni’amata Lah.
10- Oisasul-Tabi’iiyaat (stories of the second generation of women
after the Sahabah, By Doctor Mustapaha Murad.
11- “Inspiration”-Your Ultimate Calling-Dr.W.W.Dyer.
12- Miracle of Life (a DVD-Video) by Lanneret Nilsson.

103
 Recommendations by some Prominent Personalities
“77/e book is comprehensive in its scope and exhaustive in its content. / am
sure that readers will not only enjoy reading this book, they will also find
it most inspiring and rewarding
— Dr. Raji Ayinla, FCCP, FA AC, Director, Bronx Islamic Cultural Center
& Assistant Professor, Mt. Sinai School of Medicine. Bronx, New York.
‘7 have carefully reviewed the book". Paradise under Mothers9 Feet. "
andfound it well written, educative andfascinating with vital information
students of various academic levels might need. ”
— Sheikh Abdullahi Gambo, Chief Imam of Yankasa Association & Tutor
in Islamic Studies at Andalusia High School, Yonkers, New York.
“An excellent scholarly work, spiritually and emotionally veiy moving.
The Quran injunctions regarding the development of the fetus does
strengthen one’s believe in Allah the Al-mighty. ”
— Dr. Fusaini Fawzi Mohammed, Family Medicine. Chief of Medicine,
Physician Regional Hospital, Naples, Florida.
“If words could encapsulate the essence ofgrace, compassion and mercy,
in tribute to our parents, then this book have achieved that leverage. I
have read the book, and far from exaggeration. Brother Babal-Waiz have
somewhat think the thought that most Muslims living in the United States
would have wish for a book of this magnitude to be written ,and not just
for the benefit ofyoung Muslims, parents also need to read this book and
relish it. I recommend eveiy house hold should include this masterpiece in
their shelf”
— Sheikh Ahmed M Awal, a Muslim Scholar on Science & Comparative
Religion, Founder & Director, ZAITUN DAWAH INSTITUTE, Seattle,
Washington State.

104
 H.Y.BABAL-WAIZ, is a graduate in Journalism & Mass
Communications from the Ghana Institute of Journalism &
Communication Studies. He became the Parliamentary
Correspondent for the Business & Financial Times in Accra in the
late nineties. Acquired Islamic education at Watania Islamic School
in Kumasi, Ghana. Former Executive Secretary of the Yankasa
Association of USA INC. A private tutor in Islamic Studies and also
New York Correspondent for an on-line PublicationAfrican
News Analysis. ”

"
:
-
i

105
 REC PATTONS BY SOME PROMINENT PERSONALITIES

'The book Is cot* fn Us scope and exhaustive in its content. I am sore that readers will
not only enjoy rw this book, they will also find it most inspiring and rewarding”.
. ■1

— Dr. RajlAyinla. FCCP, FAAC. Director. Bronx Islamic Cultural Center & Assistant Professor. Mt. i
Sinai School of Medicine. Bronx, New York.
7 have carefully reviewed the book" Paradise under Mother's Feet" and found it welt written,
educative and fascinated with vital information students of various academic levels might need."
— Sheikh AbduIIahl Gambo, Chief Imam of Yankasa Association & Tutor in at
Andalusia High School, Yonkers, New York.
uAn excellent scholarly work, spiritually and emotionally very moving.
111111
Quran j£ttiin0
ri
4
regarding the development ofthe fetus does strengthen one's belie ve Inf:Xi t i Hp Al-mfgfi
:
_Dr. Fusaini Fawzi Mohammed. Family Medicine. Chief of Med>d<<
Hospital, Naples, Florida. ii

“If words could encapsulate the essence of grace, compassion ancfjwj

^y'Sician.^
•j
v- ■)

in $fa*&$£our !;!- .
parents, then this book have achieved that leverage. I have rea$Mffi?q$k, ang f&: from
m TiTil

exaggeration. Brother Babal-Waiz have somewhat think the thought . living in

the United States would have wish for a book of this magnitude to be w/U&p. $r)d not j ‘ tit for the
benefit of young Muslims, parents also need to read this book and relish it X/oconuhmid every p
household should include this masterpiece in their shelf. Masha Allah/ 77>e. scknowibdgrnept js
absolutely beautiful and i like the way you choose soft diction to express points _ MayAllah t&yjardy
you for this mega contribution towards the course of Islam." ;V
— Sheikh Ahmed M Awal, a Muslim Scholar on Science & Comparative Religion, Foum^rf
Director, ZAITUNDAWAH INSTITUTE. SeatUe. Washington State. S
!.'i; ■y.

v; )
US: $1495 ;•
I
ISBN-13: 978-0-94-036809-5 I
ISBN-10: 0-94-036809-9
90000

,S;.

9 780940 368095

■ -

r.
&

Analytic" CorrGSP°ndw*for an online Publication. “African News f

i !
 REC PATTONS BY SOME PROMINENT PERSONALITIES

'The book Is cot* fn Us scope and exhaustive in its content. I am sore that readers will
not only enjoy rw this book, they will also find it most inspiring and rewarding”.
. ■1

— Dr. RajlAyinla. FCCP, FAAC. Director. Bronx Islamic Cultural Center & Assistant Professor. Mt. i
Sinai School of Medicine. Bronx, New York.
7 have carefully reviewed the book" Paradise under Mother's Feet" and found it welt written,
educative and fascinated with vital information students of various academic levels might need."
— Sheikh AbduIIahl Gambo, Chief Imam of Yankasa Association & Tutor in at
Andalusia High School, Yonkers, New York.
uAn excellent scholarly work, spiritually and emotionally very moving.
111111
Quran j£ttiin0
ri
4
regarding the development ofthe fetus does strengthen one's belie ve Inf:Xi t i Hp Al-mfgfi
:
_Dr. Fusaini Fawzi Mohammed. Family Medicine. Chief of Med>d<<
Hospital, Naples, Florida. ii

“If words could encapsulate the essence of grace, compassion ancfjwj

^y'Sician.^
•j
v- ■)

in $fa*&$£our !;!- .
parents, then this book have achieved that leverage. I have rea$Mffi?q$k, ang f&: from
m TiTil

exaggeration. Brother Babal-Waiz have somewhat think the thought . living in

the United States would have wish for a book of this magnitude to be w/U&p. $r)d not j ‘ tit for the
benefit of young Muslims, parents also need to read this book and relish it X/oconuhmid every p
household should include this masterpiece in their shelf. Masha Allah/ 77>e. scknowibdgrnept js
absolutely beautiful and i like the way you choose soft diction to express points _ MayAllah t&yjardy
you for this mega contribution towards the course of Islam." ;V
— Sheikh Ahmed M Awal, a Muslim Scholar on Science & Comparative Religion, Foum^rf
Director, ZAITUNDAWAH INSTITUTE. SeatUe. Washington State. S
!.'i; ■y.

v; )
US: $1495 ;•
I
ISBN-13: 978-0-94-036809-5 I
ISBN-10: 0-94-036809-9
90000

,S;.

9 780940 368095

■ -

r.
&

Analytic" CorrGSP°ndw*for an online Publication. “African News f

i !