Dao Catholic High School, Inc.

Senior High School Department

TOBIAS FORNIER, ANTIQUE
Government Recognition (R-VI) No. S-63, S 2005

Name: __________________________ Date Received: _______________

Grade Level & Strand: HUMSS 11 & STEM 11 No. of Week: 2nd (Week Two)
Teacher: Sem. Frank Claveria Oliveros No. of Semester: 2nd (Second Semester)
Subject: Christian Living Education (C.L.E.)

Activity:
“Human Experience”

Wish you could hear me . . .

LM Collado, RSCJ

For the first time, allow me to thank you for all the love that you have given me
especially when I was a child, sickly and difficult. I remember you coming from your factory
work, dead tired, but you still managed to go to the market, cook, and care for me. I always saw
you because I was just there playing with my friends. I saw you coming home with vegetables
and fish which, when cooked, I ate with a sour face because I wanted something more
delicious.
I don't remember a day without a single complaint about you or about the life that we
lived. But I also do not remember any word of gratitude from me for all that you were doing for
us. My other brothers and sisters tried their best to help you. They sold things and engaged
themselves even in contractual jobs to help the family survive. It was hard not having a father
around. I could still remember the day when he left us for another woman. You were trying to
be brave, you talked to each one of us with the appeal to make things work out and do our best
to keep the rest of us together. The family became incomplete without Tatay, but you tried to
serve as mother and father. You were there to make a family among us. You were never bitter;
you were never hard on us. But you were so hard on yourself in terms of not having even a little
luxury of buying a nèw blouse for yourself. You always bought things for us first. And there I
was, still complaining because I wanted more expensive things for me. And yet you did not
express any hurt feelings even if I knew that deep inside, you were crying. You encouraged us
to go to school, like my other brothers and sisters who were working students. I refused
vehemently, I just wanted to hang around and have an easy life. I was lazy. Probably, I did not
know what goodness was because I did not know how to be grateful. I wanted a better life but
did not like to work for it.
A month ago, you came home chilling with fever from a forced overtime work. I
attended to you for a while but went back across the street where I was playing basketball with
friends. I hardly looked at you when you were there lying in one corner of the house. After four
days of sickness, you got up and prepared for work. I did not even ask you if you were already
well. I did not even help you carry the pail of water for your bath. You went back to work just to
come back home in the evening pale and almost without life. You did not like to go to the
doctor. You said that the money that we had was for next semester, in case I want to enroll for
school. You said that you would be alright.

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 The next day you did not get up. My older sister cooked breakfast. Afterward she asked
me to see if you were already awake. As I approached you, there was a strange feeling. You
were sleeping quietly. Very quiet. I looked at you and you were lying down calmly and
peacefully. As I got near you, I felt a pounding on my chest. For the first time, I prayed for you,
that God would open your eyes and that you would say the usual morning greetings to me with
the loving reminder that I should eat breakfast on time. With bended knees I touched you, and
called you, but you did not seem to hear. I embraced you, but you did not seem to feel. I
whispered to you that I wanted to take care of you, but there was no response at all. Deep
within me I knew why you could not hear, speak, or feel me anymore. All I saw was a body,
with a face that was calm but still could not hide the pains and struggles of a woman who tried
her best to give us a family in spite of her limitations.
As you lay down in peace before we brought you to your final rest, I would like to tell
you, for the first time how grateful I was to you for being a mother to me, for giving us a taste of
a family. Thank you for all the love that you have given me and us all. For the first and last
time, I would like to tell you, I LOVE YOU and THANK YOU.
The sad thing was that it did not matter anymore whether it was my first or last time to say
those words to you . . . Wish you could hear me say those words to you, wish I was able to say
them to you a long time ago NANAY, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, AND THANK YOU.
—Suhay (p. 24), Ministry of Youth Affairs, Arzobispado de Manila

DIRECTION: Answer these questions if you wish.

1. What did you feel while reading the story?
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2. What concrete things will you do to let your parents know that you appreciate and love
them?
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 Lesson 6:
“You and Your Family”
“Good habits formed at youth make all the difference."

—Aristotle, philosopher

You may be living in a nipa hut or in a rented apartment. You may be in a mansion or just in a small
room in a tall building. You may have a lot of appliances or just a few. However these things do not
comprise a home. What make up a home are the very people who dwell in it, those individuals who
value love and respect for each other.

Ideal Parenthood
Good parents follow four fundamental rules in dealing with their children.
 First, parents show themselves to be truly and sincerely interested in their child's
welfare. Good parents can do this by devoting time to their children, every day if
possible.
 Second, parents accept each child for what he or she is and encourage any special
talent which the youngster possesses. Each child is unique and an individual with
talents. Allowing children to develop in the best way possible will lead to a fulfilled
life.
 Third, both parents take an active part in disciplining their children. The task of
disciplining children should not only be given to the mothers. A father should
discipline as often as the mother. If he fails to do so, he gives the children the idea
that he does not stand with the mother in her efforts to instill proper manners and
acceptable forms of behavior. As a matter of fact, in major matters a good father is
likely to be the court of last resort.
 Finally parents keep lines of communication with their children open at all times.
Fathers and mothers fulfill their roles if they strive always to treat children with
courtesy and sympathy, and with an understanding based upon their memory of the
difficulties, problems, fears, and aspirations of their own childhood. Each of these
rules is worth serious consideration.

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 How Children Should Be
You are your parents' legacy. For your parents to leave a great legacy on earth, you
must strive to live your life doing the following:

1. Do not use bad language and/or talk back to your parents because you
hurt them by doing such. These actions show disrespect toward them.
2. Do your best in school. Listen to everything your teacher says, take down notes,
and even do little practice tests to enhance your learning skills.
3. Do as much housework as you can when you are hom e. Do not be a couch
potato or a lazybone.
4. Be honest. Do not lie to your parents and do not try to be sneaky, because they
would probably know what you are doing anyway. There is no way around it. Help
them build a wall of trust for you. When you get their trust, do everything to keep it.
5. Be independent and take good care of yourself. Be mature instead and try
not to have your parents worry about you all the time.
6. Love, help, and be kind to your brothers or sisters rather than being
arrogant to them. Even though this may be difficult sometimes because they can be a
bother to you and test your patience, it is best not to lose your temper over petty
things.
7. Do not be shy to show your love for your parents. Do this by saying sweet
words, giving gifts, embracing them, and doing other more creative ways of expressing
your love.
8. Be yourself. Act naturally.

TWO DOZEN IMPORTANT POINTS TO REMEMBER

Ponder these bits of wisdom to live a fulfilled life.

1. Trust is earned.
 You have to make trust deposits
into your parents' trust account.
Show responsibility and the
trust withdrawals you can
make will be enormous.
Whatever amount of trust you
have deposited in the memory
bank of your parents corresponds
to the amount you can withdraw in
terms of goodwill and grants.
2. Your parents come from a different
generation.
 What you value now, they may not have valued. Navigating these differences can be
difficult; but in the difficulty of seeking compromises, you will learn to love each
other more. Remember that in a family that has love as foundation, a good dialog
can thresh out and solve even the seemingly big and insurmountable differences.

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3. Adolescence is a time to find your own identity, define yourself, and seek
individuality.
 Outside factors that can influence this can be the entertainment you seek
(TV/movies, video games, music, sports) and the friends you keep. Watch what you
imbibe. What you think is good may not be good at all. It is advisable to seek your
parents' opinion about things you are not so sure about. Explain to them your
intentions, and then listen intently to what they have to say.
4. If you want to be appreciated by your parents, appreciate them first.
 This way you will always have something good to hang on to when the going gets
rough with them. Always remember that all of us wait to be appreciated; and when
someone does, we feel good. Make your parents feel good by appreciating them.
You will see how they know to appreciate back, especially when you need them.
5. Communicate.
 Sometimes, the things you do not say are the very ones that can get you into
trouble. For example, text them that you will be fifteen minutes late when you
anticipate it. Communication does more than solve problems. It also gives you and
your parents the means to express and foster your love for one another.
6. Rules can be liberating.
 Teens get in trouble because of talking for hours on the phone, spending too much
money on cell phone, playing computer games often, or going out with friends. Ask
your parents to tell you exactly how much is acceptable to them. Bargain and
negotiate from there. And you will see how liberating it is to have a structure, not a
rigid structure but a stable one, to serve as guide. You will notice that you will get
scolded less. Rules are made not to limit or restrict freedom but to avoid
misunderstandings and conflicts. Both parties must renew set rules and, if possible,
update them to correspond to the needs of the time.
7. Express your feelings.
 But express them correctly. No-no's are pagdadabog, yelling, or hitting. And no
name-calling (Example: "Mom naman, you're worse than a principal. Super
sungit.") Children must have freedom of expression, but it stops the moment
parents insist on their right to be respected.
8. Listen.
 If you can talk, you can also hear. Practice active listening, so you can tell if your
mom is just hurting rather than being really angry. If you want to be listened to, so
do your parents; and they will definitely exercise their right to be heard. If you
listen to them while they talk, you can expect a greater chance of being listened to
when you talk.
9. Practice putting yourself in the other's shoes.
 Children will become parents themselves. What you sow, you reap. If you plant a
good tree, you harvest
good fruits. Try to put
yourself in the shoes of
your worried parents
who wait for you until
you get home and are
only relieved if they can
already tuck you safely
in bed. The reason why
you are being told to get
home early is not
because they do not
want to suffer a nervous
breakdown but simply
because they desire your
safety.
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10. Parents may not always be right, but as long as you are dependent on
them, they deserve the benefit of the doubt.
 The old adage, "Parents know best," is still applicable in every situation then and
now. You may want to debate on this, but remember that what they have
experienced, you have not. You may just feel like arguing with them, but this will
not diminish the fact that they have a mouthful compared to your measly
experiences.
11. You have concerns.
 Your parents have concerns. Give them a break when they are not in the mood.
Always remember that your parents have more load in life (and that includes you)
compared to yours. When you feel that they are not in the mood, instead of creating
conflicts show them you care by offering them a cup of coffee or a light massage on
the back. And while you do, you may start airing your concerns lovingly. This way
you are able to express your load and lessen theirs.
12. Maturity has nothing to do with how many years it has been since you
were born.
 Do not claim maturity. Act it. And when you act mature, you also talk mature, and
you have relationships in a mature manner. Your parents will listen to you as you
desire if you act and talk sensibly.
13. You are a unique person.
 Your siblings and classmates are different from you. Do not try to be like someone
else. Instead, celebrate you. Yes, even your weaknesses which you can turn into
strengths. Remember, of all the billions of people in this world, no one is created
like you. You are peculiar from all of them. Why, your fingerprints cannot even be
found in any one of them!
14. Your parents may be undergoing a midlife crisis.
 Deal with it. You might be having adolescent crisis yourself. If your parents are
nearing or are already in their 40s, chances are they are having difficulties
adjusting to their next life stage. Of all people you should be the one to understand
them first.
15. Your parents have your best interest at heart.
 They are not perfect, though. You may find it annoying that they are "always
breathing at your neck." If they do, just relax. Feel their love and care for you. Nine
months in your mom's womb and many years of your dad's purchase of milk are too
valuable for them to let harm come your way. They will always protect you because
they have your best interest at heart. They simply love you.
16. Wrong actions are punished.
 Do not take any sanctions as a blow to your person. Remember even God
disciplines His children whom He loves. You are being punished for good reasons
and for disciplinary purposes. Better look not at the sanctions but on the reasons
why there are sanctions.
17. If your parents do not recognize the issues at hand, that is okay.
 Sometimes not entirely knowing the issues nor resolving them does not have to be
the order of the day. As long as both you and your parents are willing to talk about
it another day, the resolution can wait
until then. Just leave some breathing
space between you and them.
18. Lying is not an option.
 Your trustworthiness does not depend
on how you got away with a lie. What
matters is your truthfulness. Better be
scolded for your wrongdoings than be
praised for your lies. Remember, even if

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 you are able to succeed in lying to your parents, nothing can be hidden from God's
eyes.
19. Just because your parents have prohibitions does not mean they think you
are a kid.
 Prohibitions are like fences to the sheep that shield them from wolves' attacks. Your
parents are protecting you by prohibiting you and others to do harm to you.
Appreciate this as a sign of love and concern instead.
20. It is normal for parents to scowl, frown, nag, give sermons, and even yell.
 When they do, avoid talking back. Just let it happen. After the outburst say to them
with respect that they can talk to you in a milder manner. Sometimes because of
pressures they need releases like these.
21. Running away from home is not a solution.
 It has never been. Many young people get entangled with bigger problems when
they run away from home. And when they have problems, they summon help from
their parents whom they run away from.
22. Do not be in a rush to grow up.
 You will get to middle age with more crises to handle if you do! Your younger days
will be over soon, even sooner than you expect. Then you will wish to bring back
this time you now wish to pass you by. Instead take your time. Relax. Enjoy your
youth.
23. Study well.
 If you do not, you will regret it when you line up for a job and you get turned down
because of poor grades. Then
you will have wished you have
studied well. So do it now while
you still have the chance.
24. Do not attempt to change
anyone but yourself.
 A story is told about a young
man who shouted for a change
in the world order. When
nothing happened, he shouted
for a change in his nation's
structure. When he grew a little
older, he modified his call and
shouted for a change in the
society. But nothing has
changed. And then, finally, he
came to the realization that
through all these years, he was
the one who needed the change.
Now he has decided to start the change on himself so he could later on become an
instrument for change.
—Adapted from FISH Magazine,
volume 2, number 2, 2004

Reference:
Gogna, A. (2010). Godward: Youth Serving Jesus in Others. Abiva Bldg., 851 G.
Araneta Avenue., Quezon City. Abiva Publishing House, Inc. p. 86-94.

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