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Approaching Women - David DeAngelo

Disc 1 - AW_DVD1.avi
Make a commitment to get this area of your life
handled
- Nothing happens till you commit to doing it.
- Think about what your missing out by not approaching
women.
- Think about what you will have when you approach
women.
- How different will your life be when you totally master this.
- Spend 1 hour for 90 days working with this material and
drill it into your mind.

Looking Exercise
- What is it like to be an attractive woman?
How often are you approached?
What are common ways the men approach you?
Do most men approach you directly or indirectly? Do they sneak in?
What is your assumption that is on their mind? Sex
This is happening 10 years, do you respect men who indirectly approach you?
Overall what thoughts do you have of men being overall?
What kind of approach is guaranteed to fail with you?
What kind of approach is guaranteed to be different, engaging and a positive
chemistry based conversation?

- After seeing these things so MANY times, you just think they are invisible, you just
don't see it anymore. e.g. Soliciting, Donation Collecting, Bums on the street.
- Women just start getting annoyed by the same thing everyday occurring.
- VALUABLE INSIGHT: That woman still gets up every morning and makes herself to
look attractive. Most attractive women are insecure. They do the most stuff to fix
themselves up. They are the MOST AFRAID OF REJECTION!!!

Men forget that attractive women have a mind.

You’re Problem
- You don't know what to expect.
- You care what other people think.
- You don't want to be rejected.
- You don't know what to do or say.
- You don't believe it will work.
- You don't want to bother her or her group/friends.
- It seems unnatural for a man to walk up to a woman and start a conversation.
- You have a poor self-image, poor self-esteem
- You make it too important, you make it meaningful, you tie everything in life to this
one experience.
- Because you can't control the fears that stop you.

Whenever you recognize a fear or defect in your life, just realize that you need to get it
handled.

I want to go talk to her, and run away at the exact same time feeling.
- Very different and conflicting emotions that humans experience.
- We are complex, there is no good or bad person.

Immobilization
- We become immobilized when we let fears take over our lives.

Psyched Up
- You see an attractive woman, but you resist.
- You then think about it when you walk or go home.
- You then say to yourself that you’re going to go do it next time.
- Then you see the next woman, and the cycle starts up again.
- Psyche yourself up just doesn't work.

For most people emotions are not a choice

Why are we afraid?

- Analyzing this, you say now there is nothing you can do about it.
- Don't let this become your excuse...
There is a universal experience men have, men deal with this throughout their
whole life. It’s this fear, shyness, apprehension based on something else then physical
fear or something bad happening.
We evolved in troops 50-150 members, everyone knew everybody, who were
status individuals and where they stood in the troop. Your social status didn't change
within these troops. Attractive females were always spoken for. The dominant male of
the troop and other dominants and they had sex with all of the attractive females.
Approaching an attractive woman would have had serious consequences, you would
have faced rejection and the others also rejected you, and possible confrontation by the
dominant males, possible physical violence. Any one of these things could have led to
being completely rejected, and you may have been kicked out of your troop.

POINT: Approaching a woman = somehow connected to death. THIS IS A

GREAT TOPIC TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH A WOMAN ABOUT THIS.

We are born with a protective system that acts as a protective system. Part of this system
prevents us from engaging in activities that could be dangerous. This system was wired
for life over 100,000 years ago.

It's possible to retrain yourself, to freely approach people. Most men will never go on the
path of completely overcoming this. YOU CAN REWIRE THIS TO YOUR
ADVANTAGE!
Social Rejection = pokes same part of the brain that physical pain does. Social rejection
feels painful.
Attraction isn't a choice and fear isn't a choice.
- You will not cure the fear by thinking logically about it.
- No amount of "Its just a girl" will stop that intense chemical response.
- The only way to overcome it is to work smarter not harder.

The Danger
- Think about when someone was wounded when trying to approach a woman versus
wounding driving, work, recreational activity.
We go out and walk on the street, drive and feel little or no fear. How much more
dangerous are those things then approaching a woman.
- Approaching women isn't anymore dangerous then a lot of the things you do regularly.
- Approaching women has very little associated risks.
- Choosing a life you want to lead and accepting the risks associated with it.

0. The guy that accepts the risks is a lot more successful and fulfilled then many
others. They go on and lead happier lives.

Identify the Challenge

- What do you think the real challenges are for you?
- What are the things you need to face and work on?

The challenge is to do what you want despite the fear still being there.
Afraid of pain or anything leading to pain.

Most people aren't afraid of death, but the pain of being alive/dead.

Social Skills
Basic fundamental social skills
- Just start conversations with people, anytime and anywhere. Just start talking to
everybody.
Especially good to do when its a weird area for conversation.
"Isn't it weird how everyone stops talking in the elevator" - then people start
laughing.
"How are you doing today", smile and say "Hi"
Talk about insights/irony or common human experience, sarcasm. 5 conversations each
day x 90 = 450 conversation. Become comfortable with doing it everywhere.

We aren't perfectly wired to start conversations with people we don't know.

Our mind processes all the possibilities of the social interactions.

You will start to realize that some people are more or less connected then others,

1. Enthusiastic - Be happy to see everyone.

2. Confidence - Be confident, casual, keep composure.

Don't be overly enthusiastic or too serious, just kick back and relax.

Just be entertaining, be the life of the party, do interesting and non-predictible things.
- Be the one that makes sure that everyone has fun all the time and is involved.
- Get them involved in activities, e.g. Start them dancing, games etc.

Get them going on tension

- e.g. Take a woman's hand, and be in a mysterious way "Oh my god, there is
something very important and special about you..." and then say you will tell them later
and then say you were testing if she was gullible.

Continuum
1 3/4 1/2 1/4 0
Approval Needed <--------------------------------------------------------> Don't Care About
Your Approval
^ ^ ^
I want your Im ok I slightly want your approval
approval with your approval
================= ++++++++++++++++++
Does not lead to Attraction Land is
good results on this side

As soon as she starts getting into you, you drop into a trance that may bring you to the
approval needed part of the spectrum.

Learn to get over caring of what other people think of you

When you care too much what other people think of you, they will usually think more
worse of you.

Most men want to avoid tension with a woman and try to act sweet, caring etc.
You say: "Hey, Nice Shoes" "Are those new?" "Oh I was just kidding" < KILLS IT
ALL, SHE LOSES ALL ATTRACTION FOR YOU

Chemistry

If you want to create attraction with a woman you need approach it thinking you NEED
to spark it with something.

Keep the fun in the cocky and funny routine.

Default Attitudes

Think of the woman of a bratty little sister. 51% annoying, 49% loving her and want to
look out for her.

Ideas/Motives
Get away from me
Teasing

The protective part/loving you part is done very subtly.

Stand strong, never crack and maintain composure. e.g. if she says something in a
whiney voice, just mimic her with the same type of voice "nenennenenen" in a serious
and funny way at the same time.

What you want

Knowing what you want out of a situation definitely helps you a lot more then not
knowing what you want. Have an objective always, e.g go on a date immediately.
Disc 2 - AW-DVD2.avi
Be Original
Be different and out of the blue that catches her attention

"My girlfriend thinks your cute/hot"

"Hey, Julie what's up" "Julie, what's up" "Im just kidding, what's up"

Mental Self-Esteem Exercises

You need to think higher of yourself.

Learn what works and practice in your mind how it would work, how you
would do it.
Your unconscious mind doesn't know the difference between imagination/reality.

You can simulate these things in your mind and your unconscious will believe it, top
athletes will do it.

NLP
Consider learning neuro linguistic programming.

Reprogramming by feeling
Think about what your life will be like this if you don't get this handled. It will be likely
to trigger negative emotions that can motivate you.

Imagine how your life will be different if you master this area, imagine experiencing
them. Positive emotions will result.

Imagine how not having success in area, what areas will it lead to or not lead to.

Put yourself in a position where you meet women one after another and another and so
on. Start talking to every woman you see.

Reprogramming by observation
Watch what other people do with women. This will go into your mind. e.g. go to clubs
and watch drunk people approach them and see that nothing happens.

Reprogramming by learning
Keep feeding your mind with more information, barrier crossing, listening to successful
people talk and move from a stance where it’s impossible to its possible. e.g. David's
interviews with dating gurus.

See that others can do this without any problem.

> Offending Women
Why would a woman be mean or rude when approached?
- She has nothing to say
- She sized you up
- Under-qualified
- She reads minds
- She has personality issues
- She is negative
- She wants to be with her girlfriends
- She's on her period
- Boosting her fragile ego

There is no good reason for a woman to be mean or rude.

If she is genuinely rude, just start laughing.

You wouldn't want a woman like that in your life anyway.
Cut the cord and walk away.

There are a lot of women out there who are friendly and receptive.

Social Status is a critical factor.

Status is the core of all attractions and social interactions.

When you first start talking that social status is blank, you need to communicate that
you are the higher status person.

Loops
Humans do repetitive actions, avoid it.

Speed Dating (29:00)

Attraction isn't a choice
> The qualities we say we are attracted to change if we become attracted to someone else
with different qualities. A month may pass and the qualities she/he wants may go back
to normal.
This explains why most marriages/relationships go wrong.

The attraction is more important then anything. Attraction can trigger a complete
structure of values.

The question we always ask is what do we start doing, what we should ask
ourselves is what should we STOP doing.

Be radically honest yourself with what you need to stop doing. You need to stop letting
emotions take over. You need to stop letting outside factors that are getting you to do
something. You need to remove the barrier that is causing you to do something that is
causing you to act negatively.
Movies
Whipped, Roger Dodger, Top Gun, Office Space, Nine And A Half Weeks, An Officer And A
Gentleman Don Juan DeMarco

Ask yourself as you watch them what can you learn from these movies.
Realize that they are fiction, made-up stories that seem better then real. Look at how
men approach women in these movies.

The Natural
The guy that is just natural with women.
- Most naturals truly enjoy themselves as they go through the process of meeting
women. They gain joy from it.
- There is no meaning attached to the outcome. Doesn't matter what happens. Just don't
care.
- No attachment to any specific outcome
- No concern for what she thinks.
- Calm/Casual/Natural Approach. A woman can feel if you’re being uncomfortable
enough of not being yourself.
- Smooth easy conversation.
- Teasing/Flirting overly comfortable. Higher-Status then her.
- "You must be having some weird negative effect on me" when you make a mistake. "Oh
how did that taste" if you spit/or some other weird shit you do to her.
- Lead, take the next step, go to the next place.
- Expect the best outcome, only see the best outcome coming, and if it doesn't work out,
it just doesn't matter, just go on the next.
- Forget the past, don't remember the failures or the events that didn't turn out with
your expected outcome

Expectations
We don't know what to expect, we don't know what to expect in a certain outcome.

Just set a default approach, and work on it, and most of the times it will end up working,
since you are used to delivering it and each time you deliver it, it gets fine tuned.

If you're just friendly and open and say "Hey what’s going on", most of the times it will
work.

If you see a group of women, say 10, with no men around but men looking at them,
approach them, you will be a hero to them. Often times the more risky approach will
work.

It’s important to identify what type of woman you want, what do you want out of the
approach and invest some time where you could approach these types of women.

Where is that person you would like to meet is hanging out?

Natural Conversations
With barristers, bank tellers and other people you talk to.

You go out you meet a woman. You mess with her, talk with her and go and then come
back later on.

Bars and clubs are great for practice of your approach techniques.

Warm Social Situations

Parties and other events.

If you train in bars and clubs and approach women one after another, when you get into
more normal warm social situations you will perform much better.

Cold Approaches
She's walking down the street, doing something, reading a book alone.

You really want to become good at telling stories and being interesting in general. Most
people live very boring lives, and the woman can appreciate your charm, interesting
personality touch within her life.

Receptivity
Learn to recognize when a woman is open and receptive, interested. You can determine
if she is single or not.

Show up in a situation where you are there to start some kind of tension.

Receptive State: Laughter, Attraction, Comfort, Something Different, Curiosity,

Money, Entertainment, Trust, Not Boring

- Women will pay attention to you. The more they will want to hang out with you. Some
may not be attracted to you and just see you successful with other women.

Unreceptive State: Over eager, rude, weak minded, if you don't get it

- Women won't pay attention to you.

Making Eye Contact and determining interest level

If she holds on and you don't look away, and she looks down when she looks way,
its usually a good signal.
If she does the same thing a second time, its usually a very good signal.

The Upper Hand

Never let her have the upper hand. Always maintain higher status. Make sure you
maintain the high status, women love the challenge. Do things to negate her powers of
beauty. Make fun of her, tease her. Put beauty into a new light and say that it hides her
true personality.
Start calling her "dude" or "brat". She will treat you in a way where she wants your
approval and everyone else like little children.

She will give you a lot of content to talk about. When you believe she will have
something to talk about, then you will have a lot higher chances.

Extend the conversation, keep the tension, she will always bring content.

Tripwires
Acting unnatural, losing composure, giving her your power.
You need to avoid these things at all costs.

They may bring up sex to take her power back, you need to go after her with it. Don't let
her take you off your composure.

Don't try and impress her. Don't give her too many compliments. Don't look for her
approval; don't let her try to like you. Don't be too concerned if someone likes
you! This is important in all aspects of life.

Don't put her up on a pedestal.

(1:30:00) Men feel a powerful drive to say something very unique and creative when
they see a woman. We end up coming up with the same original things.

Get over the originality paradox, even canned simple pickup lines work better.

Get the interaction going

Spark the attraction
Be pro-active

If she starts touching you, don't stop the attitude you were using before, don't fall victim
to her actions. If something is working you keep doing it.

What's Your Sign?

Ultimate cliché pick up line in the 60s, and now it’s out of date.

You don't need to learn any astrology.

"Hey what you doing"

... She Starts talking...
"Let me ask you a question... What is your sign?"
.... It's X
"You know what, guess what mine is"
... I think your Y
"Oh.... Well.. I'll give you one more guess"
... I think your Y
"Well tell me what kind of things represent X in you"

Women like to have analysis done; they want to know more about inner selves. Anything
can fascinate them if you tell them more about themselves.

3 Minute Email/Phone Technique

"Hey... You got email?"
... Yah ...
"Well right it down for me"

The power point word is the "Hey" in the sentence. Say it in an upbeat tone and nod
your face a bit.

You say this when you say your going back to your friends, and you disconnect for a sec,
and then just turn back and say "Hey... You got email?"

Hey
The power of using Hey puts authority in your words.

"Hey... I got a question for you"

"Hey... What you doing"
"Hey... What's up"
"Hey... I think we need a female opinion/perspective on something"
.... Oh yah on what ....
"Oh you know what never-mind, actually forget it"
.... No what? ....

Craig Teaches
On a scale of 1 to 10, how old is Michael Jackson's boyfriend.

If you believe it will work, it will work.

You must be cooler then she is, and she must know it.
You must create emotion
If you start with a bang, you are most likely to end with a bang

You Must Create Emotion

You need to do something that she never seen before.
- Surprise
- Humor
- Sometimes Anger

Get Right into it, flirting/antagonizing from the start.

Flirt and start teasing right away.

How to psyche yourself up to go meet women

Just start talking to random people. Doormen, bartenders, random people.
Do warm up sets, start talking to people you have no interest in meeting and it gets you
warmed up to meet the hot one you want later on.

Get yourself in the mood simply to talk to people.

Disc 3 - AW-DVD3.avi – PICK UP LINES

All purpose pick-up line toolbox
- You look like you’re up to no good
+ You know I saw you checking me out, and if I didn’t come up and confront
you about it, you probably would have followed me home.
- Are you guys causing trouble over here?
- Are you going to like me the third time you see me?
+ I walked by you guys twice already, and none of you are grabbing my ass.
- Hey, you remember me?
+ Yah you were standing on the other side of the club, and I walked by you.
+ Yah that was me, I was that guy on the other side of the club.
- Is everybody having a good time here? (Go up to a group of girls or guys)
+ Ok good just making sure
- What up? Did you save this seat for me?
- Did you miss me?
- (On the street) Hey girls, did you see a little Italian greyhound, just about this big
(2-3 feet)
+ Ok cool, do you want to give me your phone numbers, so when I find it I
can call you guys and you can stop looking for it?
- (Standing by the bar) (Girls bumps into you) 6:00:00 – Watch it punk? (Start
into her eyes grinning) (Then bump her in the ass and smile)
- (Walking around a busy club) just say “Whoa” when someone bumps into you
- (Girl bumps into you) (Stare into her eyes) and with you foot draw a line, “Don’t
cross that line”
- Tell them to watch some of your property (10:00)
- ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT IT’S GOING TO WORK

If a girl makes strong eye contact as you walk by, just turn around, reach out your hand
and say “Common” implying you want to go to another part of the club.

Big Balls Openers

- (Bars with TVs) just go and sit down in their area and just watch the TV… (16:20)
- Tic Tac Toe game in restaurant.
- (She is on phone) Get off the phone, you got a customer waiting
- (She is on her phone, you get yours out and say) Yah shes on her phone, shes
being rude, ignoring everyone
- (20:30) Plant a friend’s phone and put your phone as “Answer Me”, plant the
phone near where they are. They answer it, “I saw you on the beach and I want to
meet you, and I saw you on your phone a lot, and I figure that’s the way you want
to communicate”
+ Then play games with her trying to find you etc.

- (24:00) Take a towel, and you take the towel over your back, crazy trick, go watch
it in the DVD

Conversation Starters (25:40)

- Just look at around at what other people are wearing, look at the jackass you can
make fun of.
- Hey girls look at that guy hitting on her.
- History of the club or establishments. (e.g this used to be a gay bar)

Synching with Resistance (Women will reject no matter what they say just
to test men)

- Yeah, that’s awesome (Do the rock)

+ I’m so glad you told me up front

Approaching Women in Groups

- Hey you guys look like trouble over here
- Hey are you girls like really shy or something.
+ I’ve been standing here for 10 minutes and none of you have came up and
said “Hi” to me or nothing.

Uniqueness
- Unique handshake (30:30)
- Handshake and then turn away, a gesture that tells them to lead.

How to get women to approach you (33:00)

- Say one liner pick up lines and then just walk away. Say something real funny real
quickly.
- Just do random short things (bits and pieces) and move on to other people from
the pick up toolbox.
Will Teaches (By Name of Daddy) 35:00
My love for you, is like Diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in
- Example of a bad pick up line

Have a game plan

- What type of woman you want
- Do you want to take her home? Be friends with her?
- Do you want her phone number?

Act like an important person

Don’t talk too fast, talk very slowly, make direct eye contact, puts you into a more
authoritative position.

Always instruct the women what to do

- Come dance with me
- Come sit down and talk with me
- Write your number down

Don’t approach the…

Liquor Pimps – The ones that want you buying them drinks
Loose & Flashy Women (Short Skirts) – Hardest to talk to in a club

Do not say when approaching a woman

- You got a man
- Can I get to know you
- Can I get you a drink
- Don’t I know you?

Look for…
Bored Women – “You look like you’re cat just died…”

More tips
Get female friends to run up to you and hug you when you come in the club.

When talking to other people get your female friends to run up to you and introduce,
and/or talk about them to the other women.

Keep having short interactions with them, e.g. keep approaching them saying “Sharon,
you having a good time so far”. Just keep leaving and coming, having many interactions
set the situation up for the kill.
When a woman doesn’t give you her number…
Get your friend “wingman” to come up to you and say “Well I left my medication in the
car” – Do this when you want to go on to other women and no longer talk to the current
one.

When they are in groups

Engage the group as a whole
- Introduce yourself, “Everybody having a good time?” “How does everybody know
each other here”

Steve (By Name of Toecutter) 53:00

Openers – They should look spontaneous
- Never scope a room, never look if anyone’s interested in
you. This takes the pressure of
- It should be non-sexual

- e.g. Tell them about some guy who stole some mars bars
and running across the street being chased by the clerk.
- “Man, what’s going on with the air-conditioning”
- “Hey, how would I look with a tongue piercing”

It doesn’t have to make sense; it just opens up a conversation.

Palm Reading
- You got a caged heart

The Job Interview Questions (63:00)

- Hey Guys, getting wed in Las Vegas, is it exciting and spontaneous, plain or dull
or romantic.

You want to be yourself

Good look girls are easier to pick up then reasonable ones

- She knows she’s good looking and she won’t be offended
- You don’t have to dance around and make her feel good
- You know you have options in men
Tyler - 75:35
90/10 rule

Don’t wait for acknowledgement

- Hey What’s up
- Hey How’s It Going

Lower the standards

- Of what comes out of your mouth

You need to stand out of the crowd.

- Do strong approaches

“Hey, my names X, (Shake Hands), (Describe what your doing) and ask how they are
and what their doing)

You get the perfect approach (game) by practicing it and going out and doing it.

Talk and give options to answers (e.g. Is he creative or just a crazy)

Hook Point
The point where the woman would rather you stay then go.

You don’t wait for the girls to stop talking before you go in.
You don’t wait for the girls to acknowledge you before you start talking.
Just START TALKING.

Just start teasing, saying something interesting and more

Four Basic Tools

Cold Reading
- You want playful cold reading in the beginning. “You have a good girl face, but
every so often you have a bad girl mannerism”
+ Palm Reading
- “You know what, your kind of quiet, and some people might misinterpret that
and think of you as being a bitch, but I just think you’re the kind of girl that likes
to see what you can learn from somebody, before you impose your personality on
top of them”
- When you can show her you understand her, you build up large credibility with
her.
Storytelling
- Launching into stories may feel weird.
- A story gives a girl to see your personality. She sees your funny, different and
have a great personality.
- Lower the standards of the story, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
- Stories release tension. They will giggle.
+ You need to relax when telling the story as if your telling it to a little niece
or sister.
- Anything where you’re making up funny situations.

Role Playing
- Play a role or game.

Misinterpretation (105:00) – This is what makes girls laugh

- Interview type questions are dry
- Misinterpret the girls answers, as David teaches take it as if the girl is hitting on
you.

Go in casually and get in rather close.

Disc 4 - AW-DVD4.avi

Role Playing
Talk about silly things you can do together.

Push through the awkward moments, get the words coming out. You talk 90% of the
time, and she talks 10% time.

You need to keep confident and take command.

Mystery - 5:00
Mystery is the world’s greatest pick-up artist.

Even Mystery doesn’t like Approaches. You are hard

wired to be afraid of the approach.
Tribal Leaders killed anyone who approached their
girls. This eventually got hard wired into our brains.

Indirect Opener

Short 30 second story that shows personality and it doesn’t telegraph interest.

She is hit on 720 times a year...

Women will punk off men that show interest, they have to.
Signs you bore her…
- One word answers

Women implement “bitch shields”, we need to initiate chats without showing interest.

Negs
They show you don’t have interest at first.

Examples of Negs
- You are so adorable, I can’t stand you anymore.
- Too bad I’m gay, or you’d be so my type.
- Where’s your off button, does she always interrupt like this?
- (Stick up middle finger) I’ve eaten girls like you for breakfast, don’t make me come
down there little finger.
- Alrite Alrite, Hands off the merchandise, this shit ain’t for free

The First 15 Seconds

Indirect Canned Opener
Time Constraint
The Neg
Stacked to the next round

Certain identities have certain stereotypes

The identities that make all the women want you is to be the “tribal leader”
A Playboy model didn’t go through family ridicule, friend pressure to date an engineer
or computer programmer.

The Tribal Leader

- It’s not going to scare you to approach a girl

If a man is surrounded by 3 girls, he will be much more desirable to everyone.

Part of the mystery method is to join, hang out and talk to groups of women.

You have to be pre-selected by other women to have more interest from other women.

The Pick-Up

A1, A2, A3, C1 – The Pick Up A=Attraction C=Comfort

A1 – Opener/Time Constraint/Neg/Stack Forward (5-10 seconds)

Do not telegraph interest, Do not ask for phone # till C1
A2 – Female to Male Attraction (Have to make her interested to what you have to say)
A 3-5 Minute Process, Multiple interesting things must be said
Demonstrate Higher Value (DHV Stories)
Evidence that I am pre-selected by women
Evidence that I am the leader of men
A3 – The mere opposite, make her demonstrate a higher value.
“You are a very beautiful woman, but beauty’s a common thing, you know whats
really rare is a great outlook, energy, personality. If you got 2 of the 3 then you
got a good start. What do you want to be when you grow up? Don’t say
princess…”
She is now trying to qualify herself, you create social value.

A3 doesn’t happen unless A1 and A2 are complete, this is about 3 to 5 minutes in.
“So what do you got going, more then your looks”

At some point you will have to move them to a more comfortable location to talk.
Lean back, sit down, and have them join around you

Can last 8 minutes, depending on the set.

You ask her questions.

C1 – The Comfort Point. This is the point where you can get a phone number.

Multiple Threads
“Oh that reminds me” – Cut offs for telling different stories. “Oh yeah where was I”
By A3 you should have opened 3 and 5 stories/routines that are not yet finished,
30 to 3 minute long stories.

Dealing with Approach Anxiety

3 Second Rule – You see the girl, you start approaching.
If they just come in, you wait for them to buy drinks and settle down.

It’s very reactionary

Practice the 3 Second rule by talking to other people as well, and start interactions
within 3 seconds.

Practice with anyone; tell your stories to anyone.

Don’t Think. React.

Don’t let these girls bean you in the head.

Preparation
You won’t be able to do anything unless you start and go into the field right away.
Mastery is worth it.

Commitment is only proven by approach.

The fear of the approach is the fear of public speaking.

You either are going to get all the women or none of the women.
Dr Paul - 72:40
- Foreign Greeting "Gutentang" "Fraulein"
Talk in another language.
Have a spirit of lightheartedness.
Establish your power and keep your reality. You may very
well reject her instead.
Be action oriented and decisive.

Mature Masculine Power

Observing Ego
Is essentially "cool", it can only be developed after abstract thinking.
Its rational thought, your variability to fine tune what your doing in the present.
Present Minded State - e.g. You drive to work, but you don't know how you did it, your
mind was in the past or in the future, you weren't in the present. When your in the past
or the future your mind is essentially on auto-pilot.

Develop Observing Ego: Stop visualizing the past or the future, be self-aware for the
time you are in. Advise yourself when talking or approaching women.
Purposely make decisions, taking actions is better then doing nothing.
Use your five senses.

Without observing ego, it is impossible to change or grow.

Mature Boundary Function

Your personal boundary works like a shield that protects you from stress and hurt, its a
marker of what you control and don't.

Frustration: The attempt to control the uncontrollable. You're suffering.

Don't use the word "should", traffic should move faster, boss should give me a raise. You
have to control the situation.

Learn to be attached to the outcome. You advertise yourself out in the social world.

Thick & Thin - The skin around your inner game, psychology. If you have a thin skin you
are weak, you have difficulty saying NO to the outside world, being overly confident,
difficulty hearing NO from the environment. The fear of rejection is a whole in your
boundary. Letting other people determine your value.

You have to get good at tolerating rejection. You have to learn to take a NO and say NO
to others.

You have to gain strength. Strength is how thick your layer of inner game is. The more
you accept rejection, the greater the skin becomes.
When you have thin skin, you let women manipulate you.

Make an effort to connect, and don't require a woman to respond to you. Being detached
and indicating interest is the combination that breeds success.

Comments - Just don't care about the outcome.

Confidence
Positive Emotional Energy is the exact same thing as self-esteem. Being full of self-
esteem equals happiness.

Self-Esteem causes us to be depressed over women and our approach skills.

Confidence is the antidote for anxiety. It's impossible to be anxious and confident at the
same time.

The closer we get to the thing of fear, the higher our anxiety goes. E.g. your 30 feet away,
you're OK with that, but the closer you get the higher you feel anxiety.

There is a peak in anxiety, and it will go down, and you will be home free, your anxiety
will in the end always be lower. The peak is courage.
Two things cause anxiety, 1. there was a loss or 2. lack of confidence about something.

Causes of Anxiety
Loss is coming in - e.g. A bill in the mail, injury, break-up, developing a disease, losing a
wallet. But what is the loss in approaching women? If you have a solid boundary there is
no loss. Loss in the end doesn't occur as much and aren't controlled, its outside of our
boundary.

Or Low on Confidence

The Results of Anxiety...

> You either avoid it, got busy with something else.

> You started acting like a victim (Masochism) You get hopeless, poor-me attitude. This
worked when you were young to get attention of parents, it doesn't work when your a
grown man.

> Courage is simply doing the right thing, regardless of how you think of it. It's the only
thing that can bring you over the peak of anxiety. At the moment after courage, everyone
wants to join in. It's a leadership aspect. Displaying that to a woman shows attractive
qualities. No excuse when it comes to courage. Recognize that there is something more
important then your fear.

Remember, what's more important, your fear, or potentially knowing her, or at the very
least improving your skills.
Disc 5 - AW-DVD5.avi
The Wing Girls - 1:00
Go to the appropriate place to find women
- Intelligent Girls – Bookstores, Starbucks
- Party Girls – Bars, Clubs

Women are crazy. Period.

Women like to talk about themselves to, let them demonstrate their value you to. They
want to be engaged in conversations as well.

You are more attractive when you are more selective.

Stop, Look & Listen

Stop
- Thinking of rejection
+ Rejection isn’t the worst thing, you can also reject women. Putting yourself
out there will bring confidence. It’s a positive experience, its not someone
rejecting you, its someone rejecting the situation.
- Trying to impress women
- Trying to be someone else

In Clubs, don’t approach girls that are tightly packed in groups and look like they
haven’t seen each other in a while.

Women that are glancing around, frisking their hair, and look open, are the ones you
want to approach.

Women want men who already have beautiful women.

Signs of Interest/Disinterest

Double Entandre – She might make a pun, say something, sexual reference, or if you
make a sexual joke and doesn’t have distaste for that, she is probably into you.

When she makes the “help me” eyes, she is not interested. She nods like a ghost, leans
forward and make eye contact a lot with other women. It’s best to exit and go at this
point. If they give short one word answers, it also means she’s not interested.

Don’t corner women such as coat check people, or bartenders. They have no way out of
the conversation.
Challenge

- Ask her questions that are a lot more then one word answers.
- Walking away may cause attraction.
- Giving something and taking it away
+ Approaching women multiple times.

The man who’s not interested or who’s already taken is the most attractive man.

Men need to find good female friends; this makes them desire men more.

Women love what they can’t have

Sean Stephenson - 35:40

“But” Man – What’s holding you back from living the potential
you have.

How to stop using “But”?

You Stand and get up

Steps:
- You have to be willing to be comfortable (Story 40:00)
- When you’re comfortable, you can do anything.

Most of what we are searching in our life is not what we want.

e.g. A big house, money, relationship
We really want feelings from what material things give you.

What feeling would we get if approaching women would be effortless?

A lot of us think we need to…

- Get that sexy girlfriend
- Get that fancy house
- Get that car

We think that we need to have these things. We need to imagine this feeling within
ourselves.
- Create a feeling within yourself, and it will create attraction
+ Create the feelings of excitement and important, that you are attractive.

It is all about the feelings.

- If you had the feeling inside that you have what you want, then it would be
natural to you.

On the inside we are all the same. The same set of emotions, the choices in emotions.
I would approach this girl, but…
- I don’t feel attractive enough
- I don’t feel I will gain her interest enough
- I feel I will be rejected
- I feel that things will get worse

You cannot do anything if you always sit on your but.

How do we get off of that but?

Stand

Where can we stand?

In the now, in the present

If you are in the present, you will never be afraid.

If you are in the past, you’re telling yourself the “used to be” game.
It “used to be”, and you look at as if it’s the golden era.
“My mother didn’t tell me she loved me” – Being angry at something that
happened in the past and using that as your excuse.
“Get out of here punk”

If you are in the future, you’re telling yourself the “what if”.
“What if” game, thinking up of stuff that will bother you in the future.
“I’ll get around to it” - mentality
“Hey if I listen to another DVD program, this time I will be able to do it”
When you live in the present, you are clear completely.

PRESENT EXERCISE (58:25)

- Clear everything in front of you. E.g notes, computer screen
- Follow only these instructions and listen to only them.

1. Feel the weight of your body in the chair

2. Listen to the sounds of the room or environment you are in
3. Look around at all the colors in the room or environment
4. Look around at all the shapes in the room or environment
5. Feel what physically is going on in your body, e.g. aches, digesting, tension, feel
what it feels like as if that’s all that it’s important.
6. Close your eyes for a few seconds
a. Take a deep breath
b. Imagine all that existed was this air that you breathed in
c. Hold it
d. Let it out
7. Realize that your completely present and everyone around you is as well
All you need to do is get present whenever you are afraid.

- The internal voice just talked less or not at all.

- Everyone in that room is sharing the same and breathing in that air.

The present is such a beautiful gift…

- You’re allowed to experience all the five sense you have
- The present is real, the future and past are not...

You have the mindset that you wouldn’t change anything in the past, because it’s what
developed the beautiful person within you.

SIDEBAR: You are light-years ahead of most of the population by reading self-help
material to improve yourself.

Pity Party

No emotion is bad.
- Feeling nervous, anxious is natural. It’s universal in all humans.

The ideal
Being constantly out there, and chasing something that isn’t possible, is chasing
allusions.

“Perfect” is something that’s not attainable.

Perfect in just the way you are, without having to change any external thing.

You create perfection, you do not find it.

Being
Go back to being, and what you can do with it.

Fears are created.

- e.g. Thought of not looking sexy enough

Nothing in the room changes because of that, its just some illusion you created in your
head.

What do you really want to feel on the inside? What do you want to feel when you get up
in the morning?
- We can change the negative feelings into positive ones

Close your eyes, and think of a feeling that will make you feel more powerful and more
valuable.
- Confidence, Happiness
- e.g. Women love you to approach them
- Women love to hear your voice
- That I can Do anything Feeling (81:00 Exercise)

Stand like that person would stand

Breathe like that person would breathe

Apologies
Stop making apologies for these times.

Be yourself
- That person you can be with your friends
- Being with the people that can lift you up

It's very hard to lead negative groups.

Care about other people

Stop caring what they think of you
If we let other people have opinions of us, we let ourselves feel pain, sorrow and guilt.

What other people think of you is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

- What other people think of you is not about you, its a reflection of their insecurities or
what they like/dislike

Go into clubs with a mentality of having fun.

- How can you approach a woman and create an atmosphere of just having fun with her.
- How to make her comfortable, laugh and touch

You have to create the feelings of what you want on the inside.

The power is not in what you say in somebody, its how you show up.

"Hey where are you right now, we should be here..." "In the present"

Stand in the present.

- How can you make them laugh? (do not care about picking them up or engaging in
sexually)

Hot women walk by: "Whoa, this looks like a hot beer commercial"

Show up present.
- Take from the present, talk about the present. (e.g. room, weather, colors, shape,
situation)

You need to approach a woman as if it was the present, and just have the goal of making
her laugh and enjoy the moment.

The present cuts us away from the nagging voice on the inside.
Starbucks Situation:
- Slap a book off the table, or a pen or any other object
"can you get me that"
- You engage her in the present this way

Approaches:
- Hand them something, tell them to hold on to it. (95:30)

Positive Risk - Approaching Women

Negative Risk - Jeopardizes your future

Care about other people, stop thinking about what other people think of you.

Be with women that you love being around with

- They are willing to "run in the rain"
- They are willing to get off their "but" and stand up

Approach the woman you are attracted to

- It doesn't have to be all the hot ones...

IMPORTANT NOTE:
There are woman that are attractive by societies standards but the ones you should
approach are the ones that you are attracted TO.

The ones that you want to approach are the ones that make you comfortable on the
inside. The ones that make you feel good on the inside. It doesn't matter if they are a
certain appearance.
- The ones that accept you for who you are.

Going to be
How are you going to be when you stop listening to this program?
How will you be when you're approaching a woman?

If you can be yourself, and be comfortable in your skin everything else will work
(integrate). Mystery's stuff, David D's stuff, Craig's stuff and more.

Geniuses master the obvious and the simple

Goals of some of the attendees:

- Feel calm, comfortable, happy and confident with yourself

- Start doing and approaching the type of women you really feel comfortable with.
Start being myself
Now I can just be me, not have to look for approval. Why do you have to?
- Create the moment in the present, create the beautiful moments with your friends,
appreciate what you have and look forward to it all.
- Accept yourself for who I am. Accept the power that you have now as a man, and enjoy
that, and those women who don't appreciate that, well that's their business.
- Positive energetic, powerful, emotional person. More happier positive energetic
person.

Approaching women is about getting off your "but"

When you hear that but, create something new.

Stand in the moment, and create that powerful person you know who you are.

Just be able to go up to her, not caring what she thinks about you. It's none of your
business because its not even about you.
Stop the but, get off the but, stand in the present.
- Approach any girl you are attracted to.

--- ENCORE ---- (112:00)

David D Concludes (112:45)

What is the one thing you need to do right now?

What's your next step?

Stand up, and imagine the success in the future because

of this program. And now realize the commitment to
your success you have now taken.