Scribd
Upload
113 views4 pages

One On One Guidelines

The document provides guidelines for personal dialogues or "one-on-one" meetings between leaders and members in CFC Handmaids of the Lord. The objectives are to monitor spiritual growth, understand members' situations, assist with problems, and determine readiness for service. Dialogues should be private and focus on the member's covenant, concerns, relationships, and finances. Leaders should listen supportively without judgment and bring unresolved issues to pastoral heads for guidance.

Uploaded by

sarahjml
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
113 views4 pages

One On One Guidelines

The document provides guidelines for personal dialogues or "one-on-one" meetings between leaders and members in CFC Handmaids of the Lord. The objectives are to monitor spiritual growth, understand members' situations, assist with problems, and determine readiness for service. Dialogues should be private and focus on the member's covenant, concerns, relationships, and finances. Leaders should listen supportively without judgment and bring unresolved issues to pastoral heads for guidance.

Uploaded by

sarahjml
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 4

CFC HANDMAIDS OF THE LORD

GUIDELINES FOR PERSONAL DIALOGUE

OBJECTIVES

The personal dialogue (more often called one-on-one) is a face-to-face dialogue between
a HOLD leader and members under her pastoral care. It is a tool to help the leader:
 monitor the progress of the spiritual growth of her member
 become aware of the member’s present situation, leading to a better appreciation and
understanding of the member
 assist the member in overcoming personal problems and difficulties
 determine the readiness of member to serve in the CLP/or to move up to higher or
down to lower levels of service in HOLD or serve in other CFC ministries
 foster closer relationship with the member

WHERE CONDUCTED

The dialogue may be conducted in any place where there is privacy and silence, but
preferably in the member’s or the leader’s house.

BASIC GUIDELINES

1. Before the Dialogue

 Schedule the dialogue in such a way that there is enough time for the process to
take place. At most two dialogues should be scheduled on the same day.

 Confirm the appointment a day or two before the dialogue and re-schedule, if
necessary, to the next available date. Be discerning about excuses being made by
the member as she may just be avoiding the dialogue.

 Review or try to recall all information about the member particularly regarding
her observance of the HOLD covenant. Recall some weak points, leads, possible
questions to ask during the dialogue and jot these down. This will give a basis for
focusing the dialogue.

 Prepare for the dialogue spiritually, physically and emotionally. Read the Bible
and note down verses that you can cite to respond to the member’s concerns.

2. During the Dialogue


 Do not start the dialogue immediately as if hurrying things up. Try to put the
member at ease through an exchange of pleasantries.

 Start with a prayer. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the gift of wisdom and
counsel so that you can give appropriate responses. Pray also that the member be
given the spirit of courage and humility to open up.

 Assure the member of the confidentiality of the dialogue.

 Always bear in mind your purpose(s) for having the dialogue. Explain this to the
member before going into the dialogue proper.

 For regular members, focus on the following areas:


 observance of the HOLD covenant
 personal concerns especially those that serve as stumbling blocks to spiritual
growth

 For leaders, in addition to the above areas, focus also on her concerns and
attitudes as a servant. Get feedback regarding her members. Ask her what
challenges she faces in her service.

 The tone of the dialogue should not be inquisitorial as this is not meant to be an
investigation but an aid to helping the member attain spiritual progress and/or
overcome personal difficulties. Be encouraging and uplifting. Have a listening
heart. Let the member do more of the talking. Interact sparingly, basically to
clarify and to assure the sister that you are in step with her in the dialogue. Do not
add, subtract or interpret.

 Regarding the HOLD covenant, you may ask the member to describe or rate the
progress she is making in fulfilling her commitments (go through each item in the
Covenant Card). Ask the member to explain her answers. Be sensitive about the
answers as these could lead to further questions. Remember that your objective is
to help the member overcome stumbling blocks to fulfilling her commitments to
God.

 Regarding personal concerns, you may use the relationship approach wherein the
member is asked to describe or rate the quality of her relationship with her
spouse/children/parents/other relatives/in-laws, other members of the household
including domestic helpers/employer or supervisor/co-employees/subordinates/
business associates/friends/neighbors, etc.

 Concerning tithes, ascertain if the member fully understands the principles of


financial stewardship and find out why she is not tithing or doing so but
irregularly. Remind her that the principles apply regardless of one’s financial
condition and assist her in finding ways to be able to give tithes on a regular
basis.
 When it comes to serious wrongdoings, find out if she has taken efforts to turn
away from them. Setting a reasonable timetable may be necessary for the
decision to be fully implemented, e.g., leaving a man with whom she is having an
illicit relationship. If she has not accepted the wrongness of her actions, do not
condemn her. Instead, explain to her from God’s point of view why her actions
are sinful and lead her to repentance and amendment.

 If a member has a concern that came to your knowledge through another source,
draw her out first by asking leading questions so that she becomes the primary
source of information before discussing the matter with her. This way, you
protect the source of your information and avoid hearsay as the basis for the
dialogue. Do not press hard if she is reluctant to open up this concern as she may
not yet be ready to discuss it.

 Do not hesitate to discuss sensitive matters because of possible adverse reactions


from the member. Remember that it is your role as a shepherd to guide your
flock in the right direction. Consult with your immediate pastoral head on a
confidential basis how to handle sensitive issues before the dialogue. If you
cannot handle such things by yourself, seek the help of your immediate pastoral
head.

 Do not attempt to give answers that you are not sure of. Be honest enough to say
that you need to consult first with the elders or other authoritative people and
ensure that you go back to her with the appropriate response within a reasonable
time thereafter.

 Ask the member if she has other matters to discuss or concerns/suggestions


regarding HOLD, its leaders and/or its policies and programs. If she has concerns
against CFC/HOLD, it leaders and/or its policies and programs, don’t concur in
any way but simply say that you will bring her concerns to the attention of the
right persons. Even if you yourself have the same sentiments, try to explain the
CFC/HOLD position.

 Ask the member to list down her specific prayer requests and assure her that you
will pray for these. Review these on the next one-on-one.

 Before ending, touch on personal blessings.

3. Ending the Dialogue

 Thank the member for the time you have spent together for the dialogue.

 Congratulate her for efforts she is making toward spiritual progress and
encourage her to move on.

 End with a closing prayer. Pray for the concerns just discussed.
Post One-on-One

1) When alone and in a private place, note the highlights of the one-on-one in a
diary.

2) Seek God’s wisdom in the direction of your pastoral guidance of the sister
concerned.

3) Identify areas of follow-up and support. Draw up action plans and implement.

4) Note developments before conducting your next one-on-one.

5) Intercede daily for the needs and spiritual growth of the sister before God.

You might also like