Personal Development

Quarter 2 Module 9:
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
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TITLE: MODULE 1 - WEEK 1

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FRIENDSHIP is a form of relationship between two or more people. It means being with others and
not just thinking about yourself. It is during adolescence that you make time for friends and even hang out
with them. However, at this stage, friendship is characterized by a more mutually satisfying relationship of
caring and sharing. You are more loyal to your friends and become more critical about your friendship.
Also, you spend more time with your peers. Hence, emotional investment is also great at this stage. As
such, you look at your friends as confidants or people whom you can share your thoughts and feelings,
which you sometimes talk about with your family.

Parker and Asher (1993) identified three types of friendship during this stage.
1. ACQUAINTANCES - a type of friendship whom you join only once in a while or occasionally such as
fellow members of a choir or school organizations.
2. COMPANIONS – a type of friendship where you share same interests through regular interactions such
as team mates in a basketball team.
3. INTIMATES or BEST FRIENDS – a type of friendship where you give and receive opinions and support.
You find ways to regularly communicate with your best friend through text messages, telephone calls or
social media. You may opt to have one or two close friends, but some teenagers find it very easy to mingle
with others, resulting in them having a circle of friends.
Arthur (1999) describes two types of peer groups where most teenagers associate:
1. CLIQUE is usually composed of smaller members (four to six members) and is exclusive to peers who
share the same interests. Member of a clique may have the same interests in clothes and hobbies such as
watching movies, playing basketball and swimming.
2. CROWD a larger peer group, composed of 10-20 members. Members of a crowd share similar social
activities such as parties.
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Tri-Star Bldg. Mabini St. Marfrancisco, Pinamalayan, Oriental Mindoro
Tel. No. : (043) 284-7536 Website: www.pmftci.edu.ph

In a study conducted by Furman (1999), it was found out that among girls, having friends as a
source of social support is more common, compared with boys. Girls are more expressive than boys and
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usually show their intimacy by talking about personal matters; boys, on the other hand, show intimacy in
nonverbal ways (Newcomb, Bukowski and Bagwell, 1999). Thus, boys tend to get together for certain
events or to compete (e.g., in sports), whereas girls are tend to get together to have bonding moments
through emotional sharing where they talk about their crush, their happy moments, their frustration and
even their dreams. Girls tend to easily trust each other’s.
Berndt (1994) said that they are more intimate and emotionally attached to others. They are easily affected
by threats or relationship problems and are more sensitive to rejection issues. Becoming very close with
your friends and failing to identify your limitations may affect other areas of your life.
Pakikisama – Your attempt to become part of the group whom you consider as friends, you may dwell in
the so called interpersonal relationships. You even join them in group activities that are not in congruence
with what you believe (e.g., cutting classes and drinking alcoholic beverages).

REFLECT UPON
Think about your relationship with your classmates. Can you identify what type of friendship do you
have with them? Explain.

TEACHER’S NOTE
Choosing a friend is really important at this stage. As most people would say, real friends are honest and
will not push you to do something wrong. Real friends are like brothers and sisters who motivate and
encourage you to become your best.
Establishing good interpersonal relationships are important during the adolescents stage.

ATTRACTION AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

Another type of personal relationships is called romantic relationships. Let’s begin our discussion
on the topic with an activity.
ACTIVITY: ATTRACTION
This activity aims to help you understand the meaning of attraction to the opposite sex and how
feelings are expressed when you are attracted to someone.
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Tri-Star Bldg. Mabini St. Marfrancisco, Pinamalayan, Oriental Mindoro
Tel. No. : (043) 284-7536 Website: www.pmftci.edu.ph

Instructions:
ISO 1. AnswerCertified
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 Have you ever been attracted to someone of the opposite sex?
 What traits or characteristics make you attracted to someone?
 How did you feel when you see someone you admire?
 How do you express your feelings about someone you admire ?

As you become more capable of forming intimate relationships during adolescence, the emergence of
romantic relationship may occur after you have experienced emotional closeness with members of the
opposite sex. Teenagers may initially describe a feeling of attraction or something that draws them to
become closer to another person. Sometimes, they like or fond of someone because of characteristics that
they really admire. In the activity, you tried to identify the reasons that you become attracted to another
person by describing the characteristics of the person you admire. Attraction or being attracted to someone
is just normal for your age. At times, you call the object of this attraction as your “crush”.

WAYS ON HOW ATTRACTION TO SOMEONE IS EXPRESSED

TEACHER’S NOTE
When you talk about your crush to your friends, you sometimes feel very much excited. All these
feelings of excitement about a crush are normally experienced at your age. However, how you express
your feelings of attraction or admiration is another area of concern. For some, having a crush like having an
inspiration. They become more motivated to study their lessons and perform well at school. However, for
some, having a crush becomes a distraction. They cannot concentrate on their studies and spend more
time talking and thinking about their crush. This is one common problem that a teenager must be aware of.

Having a crush is normal. You need to deal with your feelings or how you express such feelings of being
attracted to someone. For example, when you see your crush at the campus, you may react in various
ways such as smiling by yourself and becoming more encouraged to do well in class. Or you may talk to a
friend and share your thoughts about seeing your crush on that day. You may even find ways on how your
crush might notice you so you try to look your best to also become physically attractive to your crush, All of
these are normal reactions, However, these reactions may be considered not normal when feelings of
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Tri-Star Bldg. Mabini St. Marfrancisco, Pinamalayan, Oriental Mindoro
Tel. No. : (043) 284-7536 Website: www.pmftci.edu.ph

attraction exceed your boundaries. For example, it is not normal if you can no longer sleep and concentrate
on your tasks because you tend to think so much about your crush, you are very shy when your crush is
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around, making it difficult for you to participate in class activities. Thus, being aware of your feelings is not
enough; managing your emotions is also essential. Being attracted to someone is different from attraction,
although loving another person begins with liking or being attracted. People engaged in romantic
relationships experience as special type of feeling called love.
Romantic relationships are commonly observed among adolescents who are involved in girl and
boy relationships. Although some boys are generally unexpressive about their feelings, girls are more likely
to demonstrate self-disclosure and sensitivity to how others feel. Also, love, emotional involvement, and
intimacy are more transparent among girls because of their early sexual development (Montgomery, 2005).
Hence, they are observed to be more caring, supportive, and emotionally attached.
According to Steinberg (2011), romantic relationships may involve THREE PHASES.
1. Discovery of interest
2. Dating
3. Commitment
Dating is very common among adolescents. It is usually done as a way to get to know each other.
Moreover, dating may be seen as a form of establishing emotional and behavioral autonomy from parents
(Dowdy and Kliewer, 1999; Steinberg,1999). It is also a way of understanding oneself in romantic
relationships (Furman and Simon, 1999), or a way of maintaining popularity among peers. Dating, as a
form of courtship and of getting to know one another, is usually followed by the teenagers’ engagement in
the relationship, where a special feeling called love is experienced and expressed.
After dating, teenagers may start to become engaged in a relationship they promise to be with one
another through thick and thin. Thus, you may notice that some people who are engaged in a relationship
eat together, do their assignment and projects together, and even take each other home. They stick to the
relationship and become more emotionally involved with each other. The experience of loving and caring is
commonly observed.
Over the years, social psychologists have investigated love and how intimate and loving
relationships work (Dion and Dion, 1988, cited by Sutton and Douglas, 2013). Love is often described as
something that is mysterious, a powerful feeling that allows you to sacrifice your own happiness for the
sake of others. Love is a process wherein you give a part of yourself by understanding and accepting
others even if they have shortcomings.
A very powerful definition of love by Scott Peck (1978) states that love is "the person 's ability to extend
himself or herself for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." This definition of love
involves not only taking care of oneself but also of the other person. As an old saying goes, you cannot give
what you do not have. As such, you and your partner should grow and develop to the best that you can be
 PINAMALAYAN MARITIME FOUNDATION AND TECHNOLOGICAL COLLEGE, INC.
Tri-Star Bldg. Mabini St. Marfrancisco, Pinamalayan, Oriental Mindoro
Tel. No. : (043) 284-7536 Website: www.pmftci.edu.ph

in the relationship. You help each other grow and become better persons. You can help each other
overcome weaknesses and be more empowered to perform well especially at school.
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EXPRESSION OF LOVE AND COMMITMENT

Love is a choice. You express your love for another person not because you are forced to do so,
but because you have decided to share yourself with another person. Thus, when the relationship fails and
you felt rejected or hurt, you put the blame not just on your partner but on your shortcomings in the
relationship as well. Love also involves trust and commitment. You should have confidence such that even
if you do not see each other, your partner remains faithful to you. As a form commitment, love entails being
loyal to your partner; you are there to support and care for him or her during good and bad times. When
you are in love, you are capable of sacrificing your wants for your loved one. Nowadays, teenagers
engaged in romantic relationships express their love by supporting and helping each other in their studies.
They may also help each other go through personal concerns by empathically listening to each other. They
often see each and share their own stories, experiences, and even sentiments in life. They can easily
connect to each other using social media and other gadgets. However, some teenagers fail to define the
boundaries of their romantic relationships. They become so attached that they can no longer separate their
own identity from their partner. Hence, they become dependent on one another, and find themselves
unable to function well the presence of the other. Also, exclusivity is demonstrated by their togetherness,
leaving their other friends and not allowing one partner to join other groups without the presence of one
another. In short, where one is present, the other should also be present.
REFLECT UPON
1. What is your own definition of love?
2. What do you think are the other healthy ways of expressing feelings of love for someone?

WAYS TO BECOME RESPONSIBLE IN A RELATIONSHIP

 PINAMALAYAN MARITIME FOUNDATION AND TECHNOLOGICAL COLLEGE, INC.
Tri-Star Bldg. Mabini St. Marfrancisco, Pinamalayan, Oriental Mindoro
Tel. No. : (043) 284-7536 Website: www.pmftci.edu.ph

Personal relationship during adolescence stage is both exciting and challenging. You may
encounter ups and downs in your dealings with people whom you encounter. Thus, you should be guided
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on how to positively handle and be more responsible in your personal relationship.
1. CLARIFY YOUR BOUNDARIES. Setting clear limits is essential in personal relationships. This may
include physical distance (e.g., the ability to not always stay together) and even socio-emotional limitations
(e.g., the ability to stand even without other partner). There are things common to you and your friends
such as your interests or hobbies, but you should be firm about what you believe in life. Also, in romantic
relationships, a clear boundary may be seen by your capacity to help your partner grow without sacrificing
your own personal growth. More so, clarifying boundaries means learning to say "no," which does not mean
rejecting others or that we do not understand them; it is a way of showing respect to yourself and others.
Do not allow your personal relationship with others define who you are; instead, have the courage to stand
with what you believe is right.
2. LEARN TO COMMUNICATE. Communication is a very powerful tool to maintain healthy relationships,
whether they be friendships or romantic relationships. Through communication, you express your thoughts
and feelings that may help clarify your expectations with one another. When you can clearly communicate
your needs and wants, boundaries can be properly set. Also, conflicts and disagreements can be avoided if
you know how to state your points of view in a nonaggressive manner. Your ability to express your thoughts
and feelings, as well as your capacity to listen well with others, may truly promote healthy relationships .
3. INVEST IN AN “EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT”. Steven Covey (1989) states that an emotional bank
account is a metaphor describing the amount of trust that we invest in our relationship. In your relationship
with others, you should not only trust your partner but also invest in depositing positive emotions. You can
do this by making small but frequent sacrifices for others and also by making efforts to appreciate the
kindness or generous acts of others to us.
4. LEARN TO FORGIVE OTHERS. In any relationship, conflict or the experience of being hurt is part of our
experience. To maintain positive and healthy relationships, our ability to forgive and to understand the
shortcoming of others are important. Forgiveness means starting all over again and not dwelling on past
negative experiences with someone.
5. CONSULT PROFESSIONALS. At times when you bothered about a relationship, do not hesitate to talk
to a teacher, your adviser, or your guidance counselor. He or she may provide you a Jot of options on how
you can positively deal with your personal relationships.
ACTIVITY: THE BOAT IS SINKING
Scenario: You are spending a holiday with your (1) family, (2) friends, and (3) partner in a yacht. You
enjoyed the whole day but upon going home, you encountered a storm. There are safety rings and an
inflatable boat but these are not enough. You called for help until a small boat came for rescue.
Direction: In a piece of paper, you draw these pictures below and decide for your family, friends, and
partner for the following:
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1. Who will use the safety ring

ISO 2. Who will
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Certified the inflatable boat
3. Who will ride the small rescue boat
4. And where are you going to ride

A. What were your thoughts and feelings while answering the questions?
____________________________________________________________________________________
B. Which relationship is most important to you? Why?
____________________________________________________________________________________
What I Have Learned
“From now on, I Declare…”
Direction: On a piece of paper, accomplish the personal declaration statement below citing how will you
become responsible in your relationships.
MY PERSONAL DECLARATIONS
I _____________________, hereby declare to do the following actions in order for me to become
responsible in my relationships.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
 PINAMALAYAN MARITIME FOUNDATION AND TECHNOLOGICAL COLLEGE, INC.
Tri-Star Bldg. Mabini St. Marfrancisco, Pinamalayan, Oriental Mindoro
Tel. No. : (043) 284-7536 Website: www.pmftci.edu.ph

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THANKYOU! GODBLESS 

REFERENCES:
Books: Personal Development
Internet:
https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/folders/1dZWLgAPcYlOGdpJdv7VUBUWxWz2zryb5