There had been a christening that afternoon at St.

Peter's, Neville Square, and

Albert Edward Foreman still wore his verger's gown. He kept his new one, its
folds as full and stiff though it were made not of alpaca but of perennial
bronze, for funerals and weddings (St. Peter's, Neville Square, was a church
much favoured by the fashionable for these ceremonies) and now he wore only
his second-best. He wore it with complacence for it was the dignified symbol
of his office, and without it (when he took it off to go home) he had the
disconcerting sensation of being somewhat insufficiently clad. He took pains
with it; he pressed it and ironed it himself. During the sixteen years he had
been verger of this church he had had a succession of such gowns, but he had
never been able to throw them away when they were worn out and the
complete series, neatly wrapped up in brown paper, lay in the bottom drawers
of the wardrobe in his bedroom.

The verger busied himself quietly, replacing the painted wooden cover on the
marble font, taking away a chair that had been brought for an infirm old lady,
and waited for the vicar to have finished in the vestry so that he could tidy up
in there and go home. Presently he saw him walk across the chancel, genuflect
in front of the high altar and come down the aisle; but he still wore his
cassock.

"What's he 'anging about for?" the verger said to himself "Don't 'e know I want
my tea?"

The vicar had been but recently appointed, a red-faced energetic man in the
early forties, and Albert Edward still regretted his predecessor, a clergyman of
the old school who preached leisurely sermons in a silvery voice and dined out
a great deal with his more aristocratic parishioners. He liked things in church
to be just so, but he never fussed; he was not like this new man who wanted to
have his finger in every pie. But Albert Edward was tolerant. St. Peter's was in
a very good neighbourhood and the parishioners were a very nice class of
people. The new vicar had come from the East End and he couldn't be
expected to fall in all at once with the discreet ways of his fashionable
congregation.

"All this 'ustle," said Albert Edward. "But give 'im time, he'll learn."

When the vicar had walked down the aisle so far that he could address the
verger without raising his voice more than was becoming in a place of worship
he stopped.
"Foreman, will you come into the vestry for a minute. I have something to say
to you."

"Very good, sir."

The vicar waited for him to come up and they walked up the church together.

"A very nice christening, I thought sir. Funny 'ow the baby stopped cryin' the
moment you took him."

"I've noticed they very often do," said the vicar, with a little smile. "After all
I've had a good deal of practice with them."

It was a source of subdued pride to him that he could nearly always quiet a
whimpering infant by the manner in which he held it and he was not
unconscious of the amused admiration with which mothers and nurses
watched him settle the baby in the crook of his surpliced arm. The verger knew
that it pleased him to be complimented on his talent.

The vicar preceded Albert Edward into the vestry. Albert Edward was a trifle
surprised to find the two churchwardens there. He had not seen them come in.
They gave him pleasant nods.

"Good afternoon, my lord. Good afternoon, sir," he said to one after the other.

They were elderly men, both of them and they had been churchwardens
almost as long as Albert Edward had been verger. They were sitting now at a
handsome refectory table that the old vicar had brought many years before
from Italy and the vicar sat down in the vacant chair between them. Albert
Edward faced them, the table between him and them and wondered with
slight uneasiness what was the matter. He remembered still the occasion on
which the organist had got in trouble and the bother they had all had to hush
things up. In a church like St. Peter's, Neville Square, they couldn't afford
scandal. On the vicar's red face was a look of resolute benignity but the others
bore an expression that was slightly troubled.

"He's been naggin' them he 'as," said the verger to himself. "He's jockeyed
them into doin' something, but they don't like it. That's what it is, you mark
my words."

But his thoughts did not appear on Albert Edward's clean cut and
distinguished features. He stood in a respectful but not obsequious attitude.
He had been in service before he was appointed to his ecclesiastical office, but
only in very good houses, and his deportment was irreproachable. Starting as
a page-boy in the household of a merchant-prince he had risen by due degrees
from the position of fourth to first footman, for a year he had been single-
handed butler to a widowed peeress and, till the vacancy occurred at St.
Peter's, butler with two men under him in the house of a retired ambassador.
He was tall, spare, grave and dignified. He looked, if not like a duke, at least
like an actor of the old school who specialised in dukes' parts. He had tact,
firmness and self-assurance. His character was unimpeachable.

The vicar began briskly.

"Foreman, we've got something rather unpleasant to say to you. You've been
here a great many years and I think his lordship and the general agree with me
that you've fulfilled the duties of your office to the satisfaction of everybody
concerned."

The two churchwardens nodded.

"But a most extraordinary circumstance came to my knowledge the other day

and I felt it my duty to impart it to the churchwardens. I discovered to my
astonishment that you could neither read nor write."

The verger's face betrayed no sign of embarrassment.

"The last vicar knew that, sir," he replied. "He said it didn't make no
difference. He always said there was a great deal too much education in the
world for 'is taste."

"It's the most amazing thing I ever heard," cried the general. "Do you mean to
say that you've been verger of this church for sixteen years and never learned
to read or write?"

"I went into service when I was twelve sir. The cook in the first place tried to
teach me once, but I didn't seem to 'ave the knack for it, and then what with
one thing and another I never seemed to 'ave the time. I've never really found
the want of it. I think a lot of these young fellows waste a rare lot of time
readin' when they might be doin' something useful."

"But don't you want to know the news?" said the other churchwarden. "Don't
you ever want to write a letter?"

"No, me lord, I seem to manage very well without. And of late years now
they've all these pictures in the papers I get to know what's goin' on pretty
well. Me wife's quite a scholar and if I want to write a letter she writes it for
me. It's not as if I was a bettin' man."

The two churchwardens gave the vicar a troubled glance and then looked
down at the table.

"Well, Foreman, I've talked the matter over with these gentlemen and they
quite agree with me that the situation is impossible. At a church like St. Peter's
Neville Square, we cannot have a verger who can neither read nor write."

Albert Edward's thin, sallow face reddened and he moved uneasily on his feet,
but he made no reply.

"Understand me, Foreman, I have no complaint to make against you. You do

your work quite satisfactorily; I have the highest opinion both of your
character and of your capacity; but we haven't the right to take the risk of
some accident that might happen owing to your lamentable ignorance. It's a
matter of prudence as well as of principle."

"But couldn't you learn, Foreman?" asked the general.

"No, sir, I'm afraid I couldn't, not now. You see, I'm not as young as I was and
if I couldn't seem able to get the letters in me 'ead when I was a nipper I don't
think there's much chance of it now."

"We don't want to be harsh with you, Foreman," said the vicar. "But the
churchwardens and I have quite made up our minds. We'll give you three
months and if at the end of that time you cannot read and write I'm afraid
you'll have to go."

Albert Edward had never liked the new vicar. He'd said from the beginning
that they'd made a mistake when they gave him St. Peter's. He wasn't the type
of man they wanted with a classy congregation like that. And now he
straightened himself a little. He knew his value and he wasn't going to allow
himself to be put upon.

"I'm very sorry sir, I'm afraid it's no good. I'm too old a dog to learn new tricks.
I've lived a good many years without knowin' 'ow to read and write, and
without wishin' to praise myself, self-praise is no recommendation, I don't
mind sayin' I've done my duty in that state of life in which it 'as pleased a
merciful providence to place me, and if I could learn now I don't know as I'd
want to."
"In that case, Foreman, I'm afraid you must go."

"Yes sir, I quite understand. I shall be 'appy to 'and in my resignation as soon

as you've found somebody to take my place."

But when Albert Edward with his usual politeness had closed the church door
behind the vicar and the two churchwardens he could not sustain the air of
unruffled dignity with which he bad borne the blow inflicted upon him and his
lips quivered. He walked slowly back to the vestry and hung up on its proper
peg his verger's gown. He sighed as he thought of all the grand funerals and
smart weddings it had seen. He tidied everything up, put on his coat, and hat
in hand walked down the aisle. He locked the church door behind him. He
strolled across the square, but deep in his sad thoughts he did not take the
street that led him home, where a nice strong cup of tea awaited; he took the
wrong turning. He walked slowly along. His heart was heavy. He did not know
what he should do with himself. He did not fancy the notion of going back to
domestic service; after being his own master for so many years, for the vicar
and churchwardens could say what they liked, it was he that had run St.
Peter's, Neville Square, he could scarcely demean himself by accepting a
situation. He had saved a tidy sum, but not enough to live on without doing
something, and life seemed to cost more every year. He had never thought to
be troubled with such questions. The vergers of St. Peter's, like the popes
Rome, were there for life. He had often thought of the pleasant reference the
vicar would make in his sermon at evensong the first Sunday after his death to
the long and faithful service, and the exemplary character of their late verger,
Albert Edward Foreman. He sighed deeply. Albert Edward was a non-smoker
and a total abstainer, but with a certain latitude; that is to say he liked a glass
of beer with his dinner and when he was tired he enjoyed a cigarette. It
occurred to him now that one would comfort him and since he did not carry
them he looked about him for a shop where he could buy a packet of Gold
Flakes. He did not at once see one and walked on a little. It was a long street
with all sorts of shops in it, but there was not a single one where you could buy
cigarettes.

"That's strange," said Albert Edward.

To make sure he walked right up the street again. No, there was no doubt
about it. He stopped and looked reflectively up and down.

"I can't be the only man as walks along this street and wants a fag," he said. "I
shouldn't wonder but what a fellow might do very well with a little shop here.
Tobacco and sweets, you know."
He gave a sudden start.

"That's an idea," he said. "Strange 'ow things come to you when you least
expect it."

He turned, walked home, and had his tea.

"You're very silent this afternoon, Albert," his wife remarked.

"I'm thinkin'," he said.

He considered the matter from every point of view and next day he went along
the street and by good luck found a little shop to let that looked as though it
would exactly suit him. Twenty-four hours later he had taken it and when a
month after that he left St. Peter's, Neville Square, for ever, Albert Edward
Foreman set up in business as a tobacconist and newsagent. His wife said it
was a dreadful come-down after being verger of St. Peter's, but he answered
that you had to move with the times, the church wasn't what it was, and
'enceforward he was going to render unto Caesar what was Caesar's. Albert
Edward did very well. He did so well that in a year or so it struck him that he
might take a second shop and put a manager in. He looked for another long
street that hadn't got a tobacconist in it and when he found it and a shop to let,
took it and stocked it. This was a success too. Then it occurred to him that if he
could run two he could run half a dozen, so he began walking about London,
and whenever he found a long street that had no tobacconist and a shop to let
he took it. In the course of ten years he had acquired no less than ten shops
and he was making money hand over fist. He went round to all of them
himself every Monday, collected the week's takings and took them to the bank.

One morning when he was there paying in a bundle of notes and a heavy bag
of silver the cashier told him that the manager would like to see him. He was
shown into an office and the manager shook hands with him.

"Mr. Foreman, I wanted to have a talk to you about the money you've got on
deposit with us. D'you know exactly how much it is?"

"Not within a pound or two, sir; but I've got a pretty rough idea."

"Apart from what you paid in this morning it's a little over thirty thousand
pounds. That's a very large sum to have on deposit and I should have thought
you'd do better to invest it."

"I wouldn't want to take no risk, sir. I know it's safe in the bank."
"You needn't have the least anxiety. We'll make you out a list of absolutely gilt-
edged securities. They'll bring you in a better rate of interest than we can
possibly afford to give you."

A troubled look settled on Mr. Foreman's distinguished face. "I've never 'ad
anything to do with stocks and shares and I'd 'ave to leave it all in your 'ands,"
he said.

The manager smiled. "We'll do everything. All you'll have to do next time you
come in is just to sign the transfers."

"I could do that all right, said Albert uncertainly. "But 'ow should I know what
I was signin'?"

"I suppose you can read," said the manager a trifle sharply.

Mr. Foreman gave him a disarming smile.

"Well, sir, that's just it. I can't. I know it sounds funny-like but there it is, I
can't read or write, only me name, an' I only learnt to do that when I went into
business."

The manager was so surprised that he jumped up from his chair.

"That's the most extraordinary thing I ever heard."

"You see it's like this, sir, I never 'ad the opportunity until it was too late and
then some'ow I wouldn't. I got obstinate-like."

The manager stared at him as though he were a prehistoric monster.

"And do you mean to say that you've built up this important business and
amassed a fortune of thirty thousand pounds without being able to read or
write? Good God, man, what would you be now if you had been able to?"

"I can tell you that sir," said Mr. Foreman, a little smile on his still aristocratic
features. "I'd be verger of St. Peter's, Neville Square."