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What Is Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attachment is an attachment style that develops in children who do not receive sensitive responses from caregivers to their needs or distress. It causes children to become very independent physically and emotionally. Adults with avoidant attachment may struggle with intimacy and tend to suppress their emotions. Therapy can help both children and adults with avoidant attachment to establish closer relationships.

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Judy Lee
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909 views10 pages

What Is Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attachment is an attachment style that develops in children who do not receive sensitive responses from caregivers to their needs or distress. It causes children to become very independent physically and emotionally. Adults with avoidant attachment may struggle with intimacy and tend to suppress their emotions. Therapy can help both children and adults with avoidant attachment to establish closer relationships.

Uploaded by

Judy Lee
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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What is avoidant 

attachment? 
● What is it? 

● Causes 

● Signs and symptoms 

● Prevention 

● Treatment 

● Summary 

Avoidant attachment is an attachment style that 


develops during early childhood. It tends to occur 
in children who do not experience sensitive 
responses to their needs or distress. Children with 
an avoidant attachment style may become very 
independent, both physically and emotionally. 

An attachment style is the pattern of behaviors a person exhibits in response 


to relationships and bonds. Attachment styles are part of attachment theory in 
psychology, which J
​ ohn Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth​ developed. 

Developing an avoidant attachment style as a child can lead to difficulties 


forming close relationships as an adult. 

This article covers what avoidant attachment is and its causes and treatment 
options. 

What is it? 
 
Share on Pinterest 

Image credit: laflor/Getty Images 

Avoidant attachment is ​one of three attachment styles​ that Mary Ainsworth 


and Barbara Wittig developed in 1970. Mary Main and Judith Solomon added 
the fourth attachment style in 1
​ 990​. 

The f​ our attachment styles​ are: 

Secure 

Secure attachment develops in children with a parent or caregiver who is 


sensitive and responsive to their needs. Securely attached children have 
confidence that a parent or caregiver will be available to meet their needs and 
give them comfort when they are distressed. 

Avoidant, or insecure-avoidant 

Avoidant attachment develops in children who do not experience sensitive 


responses from a parent or caregiver to their needs or distress. Children with 
avoidant attachment may become very independent, both physically and 
emotionally. 

Anxious, or insecure-anxious 

Children with anxious attachment do not have consistent responses to their 


needs from a parent or caregiver. Children with anxious attachment may be 
clingy around their caregiver while insecure in themselves or in their 
interactions with others. 

Disorganized, or fearful 

Disorganized attachment occurs when a child wants love and care from their 
parent or caregiver but is also afraid of them. Disorganized attachment can 
develop if a parent or caregiver responds to a child seeking comfort by 
ignoring, yelling at, or punishing them in some way. 
Strange situation procedure 

In the 1970s​, Mary Ainsworth did an experiment called the “strange situation 
procedure.” In this experiment, parents or caregivers left the room as their 
child played with a trained observer nearby. The researchers observed and 
documented the child’s response to their parent or caregiver leaving the room. 

Children with a secure attachment style would cry when their parent or 
caregiver left the room but go to them and quickly become soothed on their 
return. 

Children with an avoidant attachment style would be calm when their parent 
or caregiver left the room. Once they returned, the child would avoid or resist 
having contact with them. 

However, despite these observable reactions, other psychological tests 


showed that the children with avoidant attachment were just as distressed as 
the other children by their parent’s or caregiver’s absence. 

Causes 
Infants and children generally need to form a close bond with their parent or 
caregiver. The repeated rejection of attempts to form this secure attachment 
may result in a child learning to suppress their desire for comfort when 
distressed or upset. 

Avoidant attachment develops when an infant or young child has a parent or 
caregiver who is consistently e
​ motionally unavailable​ or unresponsive to their 
needs. Infants with an avoidant attachment style may also have faced 
repeated discouragement from crying or expressing outward emotion. 

The parent or caregiver of a child who has avoidant attachment may: 

● lack knowledge on how to support their child 


● lack empathy 
● feel overwhelmed by parenting responsibilities 
● not have developed a sense of commitment 
● have an avoidant attachment style themselves 

Children with avoidant attachment may also disconnect from their own needs 
and feelings. These children may learn to self-soothe and feel as though they 
can only rely on themselves. As a result, they have little motivation or trust to 
seek help or support from others. 

Signs and symptoms 


A child with an avoidant attachment style may show no outward display of 
desire for closeness, affection, or love. However, internally, the child will feel 
the same stress and anxiety responses as a child with secure attachment 
when they are in stressful situations. 

These children may also want to be near their primary caregiver but not 
interact with them. They may also reject physical contact with their caregiver. 

Attachment styles and their associated behaviors can last into adulthood. As 
an adult, a person with an avoidant attachment style m
​ ay experience​ the 
following: 

● avoiding emotional closeness in relationships 


● feeling as though their partners are being clingy when they simply want 
to get emotionally closer 
● withdrawing and coping with difficult situations alone 
● suppressing emotions 
● avoiding complaining, preferring to sulk or hint at what is wrong 
● suppressing negative memories 
● withdrawing, or tuning out, from unpleasant conversations or sights 
● fearing rejection 
● having a strong sense of independence 
● having feelings of high self-esteem while having a negative view of 
others 
● being overly focused on their own needs and comforts 
Avoidant attachment can also affect older adults. A ​study from Hong Kong 
found that in older married couples, a male partner with an avoidant 
attachment style experienced more detrimental effects on their well-being 
than a female partner. 

Learn more about attachment disorders in adults here. 

Prevention 
A parent or caregiver can prevent their child from developing an avoidant 
attachment style by being sensitive to their needs and feelings while 
encouraging them to express their wants and emotions. It is also important 
for a person to let their child know that they are safe and cared for through 
both actions and words. 

A parent or caregiver should also be mindful to avoid making their child feel 
ashamed if they make a mistake or are afraid. Instead, they should soothe and 
comfort their child as often as possible when they are distressed or scared. 

If a parent or caregiver finds that they are struggling with parenting and 
suspects that they may not consistently be meeting the emotional needs of 
their child, they should seek help from a mental health professional who 
specializes in working with people with these issues. 
Anyone with concerns about how their child is developing, including their 
attachment style, may also find speaking with a pediatrician or child 
psychologist helpful. 

Treatment 
Therapy or counseling can be beneficial for both a child with an avoidant 
attachment style and their parent or caregiver. 

A therapist can help the parent or caregiver understand how their behavior 
may be affecting their child and guide them toward new ways of interacting 
with the child and responding to their needs. A therapist can also work with 
the child to help them form a healthier bond with their parent or caregiver. 

An adult with avoidant attachment may also benefit from therapy. The 
therapist or counselor can help the person understand how their parents or 
caregivers responded to their needs during childhood and how this may be 
shaping their current emotions or behavior. The therapist can then suggest 
methods to help the person overcome any negative behaviors or feelings. 

Learn about different types of therapy here. 

Summary 
Avoidant attachment is one of four attachment styles that develop during 
childhood. Avoidant attachment occurs when an infant or child does not 
consistently receive the care and attention that they need to develop a healthy 
relationship with their parent or caregiver. 

An avoidant attachment style may cause a child to hide their feelings and 
become emotionally distant from their parent or caregiver. However, the child 
still desires to be close to that person and experiences inner distress when 
they are apart. 

Adults with avoidant attachment may struggle to establish close relationships 


as a result of being very independent and unlikely to look to others for support 
or help. 

A person who is concerned that they or their child may have avoidant 
attachment should speak to a therapist or doctor. 

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