Notes in Contemporary Family Life

Topic: Marriage as the Basic Foundation of Family

“Marriage is the beginning—the beginning of the family—and is a life-long commitment. It also provides an

I. The Value of Marriage

If you are married, you may have discovered why marriage is so important and experienced some of the good
that comes from it. Or, maybe marriage was hard for some of you and you’re no longer married. However, there
is hope. But that hope starts with realizing that marriage can be more amazing than you have experienced or
even thought.

I’ve been married many years and have experienced both the amazing as well as the very hard. Marriage
eliminated loneliness for me and my wife. We are more effective in working as a team versus working as
individuals. Through challenges, we have both matured. And a side bonus, we have wonderful kids that came
from our union. Those are all good and wonderful, but I’ve also discovered something even greater. I believe God
has created marriage to reveal more about Him and how awesome He is. And this is revealed through many of
His purposes for marriage. Here are 5 reasons that explain the importance of marriage.

1. Beginning

Marriage is the beginning—the beginning of the family—and is a life-long commitment. It also provides an
opportunity to grow in selflessness as you serve your wife and children. Marriage is more than a physical union; it
is also a spiritual and emotional union. This union mirrors the one between God and His Church.

2. Oneness

When a man and woman get married, the “two become one.” Marriage is a bond like no other. It gives us a life
partner, a teammate, as we move through the challenges of life together.

3. Purity

Marriage is designed for purity. We face temptation nearly every minute and from all directions. The bond of
marriage gives us the support to defeat temptation by engaging in deep, satisfying love—a love that gives to, and
receives from, our mate physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

4. Parenting

When a marriage produces a child or receives a child through adoption, it is one of life’s greatest blessings.
Roughly 40% of children being raised today are in a home without a father. The effects of that fact are
staggering. Father absence causes increases in mental and behavioural disorders as well as criminal activity and
substance abuse. But when children are raised in a healthy marriage, they get a front row seat to see and
experience the lasting benefits of a strong family.

5. Love

Marriage is designed to mirror our Creator’s unconditional love for us. It’s a love that will always be there and will
never leave us or forsake us. When a man and woman love one another unconditionally, contentment and joy
follow.
II. Marriage in the Old Testament

The Bible’s teaching on Marriage and the Family

What Is the Family?

The Bible defines “family” in a narrow sense as the union of one man and one woman in matrimony which is
normally blessed with one or several natural or adopted children.

In a broad sense, this family also includes any other persons related by blood (the extended family)

In the book of Genesis, we read that God in the beginning created first a man (Adam) to exercise dominion over
his creation and subsequently a woman (Eve) as the man’s “suitable helper” (Genesis 2:18, 20). Then, the
inspired writer remarks, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they
shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

…..“become one flesh” not only refers to the establishment of one new family but also to the husband and wife’s
sexual union leading to the procreation of offspring…

This, in turn, is in keeping with God’s original command to the first human couple to “be fruitful and multiply and
fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion” over all of creation (Genesis 1:28).

These aspects of marriage—the complementarily of male and female, and the irreplaceable role of male female
relations in reproducing the human race—are part of the original order of creation, and are evident to all human
beings from the enduring order of nature. These common elements of marriage are at the heart of our civil laws
defining and regulating marriage.

What Is Marriage?
Marriage is a covenant, a sacred bond between a man and a woman instituted by and publicly entered into before
God and normally consummated by sexual intercourse.

Five Vital Principles of Marriage

(1) The permanence of marriage: Marriage is intended to be permanent, since it was established by God
(Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9). Marriage represents a serious commitment that should not be entered into lightly or
unadvisedly. It involves a solemn promise or pledge, not merely to one’s marriage partner, but before God.
Divorce is not permitted except in a very limited number of biblically prescribed circumstances.

(2)The sacredness of marriage: Marriage is not merely a human agreement between two consenting individuals
(a “civil union”); it is a relationship before and under God (Genesis 2:22). Hence, a “same-sex marriage” is an
oxymoron, a contradiction in terms. Since Scripture universally condemns homosexual relationships (see further
under Homosexuality below) God will never sanction a marital bond between two members of the same sex.

(3) The intimacy of marriage: Marriage is the most intimate of all human relationships, uniting a man and a
woman in a “one-flesh” union (Genesis 2:23–25). Marriage involves “leaving” one’s family of origin and “being
united” to one’s spouse, which signifies the establishment of a new family unit distinct from the two originating
families. While “one flesh” suggests sexual intercourse and normally procreation, at its very heart the concept
entails the establishment of a new kinship relationship between two previously unrelated individuals (and
families) by the most intimate of human bonds.

4) The mutuality of marriage: Marriage is a relationship of free self-giving of one human being to another
(Ephesians 5:25–30). The marriage partners are to be first and foremost concerned about the wellbeing of the
other person and to be committed to each other in steadfast love and devotion. This involves the need for
forgiveness and restoration of the relationship in the case of sin. Mutuality, however, does not mean sameness in
role. Scripture is clear that wives are to submit to their husbands and to serve as their “suitable helpers,” while
husbands are to bear the ultimate responsibility for the marriage before God (Ephesians 5:22–24; Colossians
3:18; see also Genesis 2:18, 20).

(5) The exclusiveness of marriage: Marriage is not only permanent, sacred, intimate, and mutual; it is also
exclusive (Genesis 2:22–25; 1 Corinthians 7:2–5). This means that no other human relationship must interfere
with the marriage commitment between husband and wife. For this reason, Jesus treated sexual immorality of a
married person, including even a husband’s lustful thoughts, with utmost seriousness (Matthew 5:28; 19:9). For
the same reason, premarital sex is also illegitimate, since it violates the exclusive claims of one’s future spouse.
As the Song of Solomon makes clear, only in the secure context of an exclusive marital bond can free and
complete giving of oneself in marriage take place.