Assertiveness Exercises

1
Understanding
Assertiveness
Meenakshi Ganesh | https://www.linkedin.com/in/meenakshi-ganesh/

Assertiveness is…
o Asking for what you want
o Sharing your expectations confidently
o Expressing your opinions freely
o Saying “No” to things you don’t want to do
o Being honest about your thoughts and experiences
2
Bring the attention of your audience over a key
concept using icons or illustrations
3
2
Embrace Your
Desires

Never be ashamed to
Want 5
Who do I want to be?
o Beliefs
o Values
o Behavioural patterns
o Talents
o Knowledge
o Skills
Decide which of these elements in your current state you

want to keep, to strengthen, to develop and to get rid of.
6
What do I want to
Experience?
o Physical activities
o Relationships, emotions and romance
o Money and wealth
o Career, achievements and respect
o Fun, creativity and travel
o Spirituality
o Technology
Don’t be constricted by any limitations – Consider this your Bucket List

7
3
Check your
Emotions

Be Optimistic
Have optimistic expectations that the environment will respond positively to
your needs, under three conditions:
o There is no need escalation (greed, gluttony etc.), inflation (neediness, lack of

focus etc.) or perversion (weird fetishes etc.)
o You clearly communicate your needs, since other people can’t read your
mind.
o You know there will always be some some haters and blockers who will work
against you.
9
Face your Fears
o Overcome your fear or anxiety by overcoming it
o Expose yourself to small situations that make you uncomfortable
• Join a meetup and introduce yourself to a few people

• Say your first no; do it by e-mail if it’s easier the first time
• Ask for a raise when you complete a demanding project
• Don’t run away from conflict, but try to manage it
• Find one thing you like about your boss and compliment it
• Smile the next time somebody cuts you off
10
Change your Inner Voice
o Pay attention to guilt, shame and doubt when you confront your needs
o Check your emotional substitution

• Are you angry because you’re ashamed? Are you over-compensating because you feel guilty? Are you pushy
because of self-doubt?
o Actively change the way you talk to yourself
• They will feel offended if I say/do this -> I need to say/do this and will help them manage their feelings
• I should be grateful for what I have been given -> I have earned what I have
• I don’t think I deserve this -> I have the right to want more
11
Say it with your Body
o Feel comfortable taking space with your body
o Keep a nice posture in a confident pose
o Speak slowly with a relaxed and clear voice
o Go for direct eye contact and smile
o Have physical contact with other people (when appropriate)
o And when things get tough, breathe and calm yourself, other people and
the atmosphere down
12
4 Practical
Communication
Techniques

1. “I Statement”
From Monika Hoyt on YouTube : Assertiveness Techniques: These are the only 3 you will ever need!
When you _________, I feel ____________ because I _____________.

(facts only) (emotion word) (something about me)
In the future, I would like ____________.

(precise action)
14
2. Fogging
When faced with an aggressive or manipulative individual or situation, you

acknowledge their assertions without agreeing or countering.
It’s as though arguments are thrown into the fog, but nothing is returned.
15
3. The Broken Record
Keep repeating your assertion clearly and consistently.
Especially useful in situations where you cannot or do not want to compromise.
16
4. Active Enquiry
Positive Enquiry
An assertive way of responding to compliments or positive comments by
asking a question that elicits more information while accepting them.
For example :
Someone says - I loved your presentation.
Passive response – “Thanks, it was nothing great / it didn’t take much effort”
Positive Enquiry – “Thanks. Was there a specific part that you liked? I’ll make sure I do it more often”
17
4. Active Enquiry
Negative Enquiry
An assertive way of responding to complaints or criticism by asking a question
that elicits more information while standing your ground.
For example :
Someone says - I did not like the way you handled that project
Aggressive response – “Screw you. Where were you when I was struggling?”
Negative Enquiry – “I appreciate your feedback. Where specifically do you think I could have done better?
Is there a way you could have helped me?”
18
5. Saying No
- Start small. Use written words (e-mail, texts) if you’re not comfortable saying it out loud.
- Take your time. Don’t get pressured into saying “Yes”. You can always put it off for
when you’re better prepared.
- Let go of guilt. You do not owe an agreement if it’s not right for you.
Some phrases for passive to assertive transition –

o I will have to get back to you about that.
o That sounds interesting, but I will have to check on some details before I can get back to you.
o I can’t make a decision on this right now. Shall we set up an appointment to speak about this next week?
o Some people will try to bully you into “caving” and making a decision right away — use the “broken
record” technique if necessary
19
5. Saying No
- Be mindful of your tone and language. Frame your response in “I statements”.
- Use fogging to defuse a potentially explosive situation. Acknowledge their assertions

without agreeing or disagreeing.
- Pause before making an assertion. Use the time and the silence to compose yourself.
Some phrases for aggressive to assertive transition –

o I get where you’re coming from. Allow me to present my point of view. (Frame an I statement)
o I’m not sure I get this. Could you help me understand this better? (buying time to collect your thoughts)
o Thank you for sharing your point of view. (Fogging)
20
Thanks!
Sources and More Reading :
How to become more assertive with a few simple exercises
Monika Hoyt on YouTube : Assertiveness Techniques: These are the only 3 you will ever need!
21

Assertiveness Exercises

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Assertiveness Exercises

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Description:

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Assertiveness Exercises

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

What are the different techniques discussed for being assertive?

What are the different techniques discussed for being assertive?

What are some tips for saying 'No' assertively?

What are some tips for saying 'No' assertively?

1

Meenakshi Ganesh | https://www.linkedin.com/in/meenakshi-ganesh/

Meenakshi Ganesh | https://www.linkedin.com/in/meenakshi-ganesh/

Decide which of these elements in your current state you

Don’t be constricted by any limitations – Consider this your Bucket List

Meenakshi Ganesh | https://www.linkedin.com/in/meenakshi-ganesh/

o There is no need escalation (greed, gluttony etc.), inflation (neediness, lack of

o Expose yourself to small situations that make you uncomfortable

• Join a meetup and introduce yourself to a few people

o Check your emotional substitution

o Actively change the way you talk to yourself

Meenakshi Ganesh | https://www.linkedin.com/in/meenakshi-ganesh/

When you _________, I feel ____________ because I _____________.

In the future, I would like ____________.

When faced with an aggressive or manipulative individual or situation, you

Especially useful in situations where you cannot or do not want to compromise.

Someone says - I loved your presentation.

Some phrases for passive to assertive transition –

- Use fogging to defuse a potentially explosive situation. Acknowledge their assertions

Some phrases for aggressive to assertive transition –

How to become more assertive with a few simple exercises

You might also like

When you _, I feel because I _____.