Negotiation Foundations

Learning about negotiation and persuasion can feel daunting at times because there is
almost an infinite amount of techniques, tactics, and strategies one can use to become a
better negotiator. However, all of these techniques are built upon a common foundation.
In this free guide, you will learn the three most important characteristics of effective
negotiators and you will get access to our most popular negotiation guides.

We included these negotiation guides because the best negotiators take the time to
prepare systematically for these conversations. These guides will give you a step-by-step
process that you can use in order to win your every-day negotiations.

Three Characteristics of Great Negotiators

The mini article below outlines the top three characteristics of successful negotiators.
Each section starts off with a brief operational definition, an explanation of why the
characteristic is important and how you can cultivate it, and an exercise/challenge that
you can use to cultivate it.

1. Curiosity

Operational Definition
Curiosity is the genuine interest in learning more about the needs, wants, and
perspectives of your negotiation counterpart.

Rationale
In order to effectively produce solutions, we first need to have a clear understanding of
the problem. Initially, we enter these conversations with a limited perspective. We
demonstrate our curiosity by asking open-ended questions to broaden our understanding
of the problem. While asking these questions and fulfilling our curiosity, we do this not
only to get a better understanding of the facts but how the other person interprets and
perceives the facts.

Don't only focus on what people need, but also what they want and why they want it.
Knowledge is power and by taking the time to ask questions and learn more, you are
gaining more power in the negotiation.

Exercise: Pass the Ball

In your next conversation, see how long you can go without talking. In order to do this
effectively, you need to ask open-ended questions. When they are done talking, ask
another open-ended question. Put the ball back in their side of the court. Your goal
should be to keep the breakdown of conversation where they are talking at least 70% of
the time.


2. Creativity

Operational definition
The ability and willingness to solve problems and take advantage of opportunities in
unique ways that take into consideration your interests and the interests of your
negotiation counterpart.

Rationale
Creativity is at its best when you are able to turn your negotiation counterpart into an
active participant in an impromptu brainstorming session. Coming into these discussions,
we probably have a rigid perspective on what can and cannot be achieved. These
perspectives often limit our creativity because we do not even consider other viable
options.

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our counterpart may resist our efforts to be creative.
In order to overcome this ask the magic question-if you could wave a magic wand and
solve this problem, what would the solution look like? What would need to happen?

Exercise: 10 Solutions
In your next negotiation, try to come up with about 10 possible solutions. You do not
need to share this with the other side, but it will force your brain to think outside of the
box. You might be able to come up with five, you may be able to come up with seven,
but the closer you get to 10, the more you are challenging yourself to widen the scope of
possible solutions. As a result, you will be able to generate more creative ideas.

What will likely happen in the subsequent conversation is that as you learn more
information from your negotiation counterpart, you will be able to form hybrid solutions
from your list.

3. Confidence

Operational Definition
Confidence is the willingness to engage in courageous conversations in order to achieve
your goals. It is not the ability to operate fearlessly; it is the ability to operate in spite of
fear.

Rationale
People can sense confidence and if you lack confidence in yourself, your product, your
solution, your abilities etc., people will undervalue you and struggle to take you
seriously. You develop confidence through learning and practice. The more you know,
the more confident you will be. But simply knowing is not good enough. You actually
need to practice the skills.


For example, let's say you have never played tennis before and then you read several
books on tennis technique and strategy. How confident would you feel in your tennis
abilities if you had to play a tournament after reading those books? You probably won’t
be very confident. Why? Book knowledge can only take you so far. This knowledge
needs to be coupled with rigorous practice. This is why it is so important to participate in
a hands-on training in order to truly hone these skills.

One of the biggest fears that hold us back is the fear of rejection. We don't want to lose.
We don't want to hear the word “no”. This fear comes from the fact that we conflate a
rejection of the substance with a rejection of the person. Unfortunately, you cannot avoid
rejection forever. It is best to practice facing that fear directly so it has less of an effect on
you whenever it occurs.

Exercise
Engage in rejection therapy. There are opportunities to negotiate all around us every day
and most of them come in very low-pressure situations. Recognize these opportunities to
negotiate and ask for what you want. For example, next time you go to the coffee shop
ask for a free pastry. They will probably say no but hearing that rejection in a social
situation that really doesn't matter will help to desensitize you from future rejection.

Working to develop these characteristics will lead to tremendous gains in your ability to
negotiate. It will take time but the payoffs in your personal and professional life will be
invaluable.

In order to truly maximize the efficacy of these characteristics, they need to be coupled
with careful preparation. In the following pages, you will see how to prepare for the most
common negotiation and dispute resolution situations. If you are interested in getting
more of these free guides, go to www.americannegotiationinstitute.com/free.


NEGOTIATION PREP GUIDE

The preparation stage of negotiation is, without a doubt, the most important step in the
process. Why? Negotiation is an incredibly stressful event. When you are stressed, your
body produces the stress hormone called cortisol. Cortisol makes it difficult to think
clearly. Because of this, in negotiations, when we need to be incredibly clear minded, we
are poisoned by a stress hormone that prevents us from thinking clearly. This is why it is
important to pre-think as much of the negotiation as possible.

Competence breeds confidence. Go into every negotiation with the legitimate confidence
that you know as much as possible on the subject and the requisite humility to learn more
from the other side through listening. You are able to perform at a much higher level
when you have a thorough understanding of all of the relevant information. When I
prepare for a negotiation, no matter how seemingly insignificant the negotiation may be,
my goal is to gather considerably more information than is necessary. I typically only
utilize approximately 30% of the information that I've gathered in the actual negotiation
but I have that other 70% at the back of my mind throughout the conversation ready to go
if necessary. The more information you have, the better positioned you are to make
competent statements and ask relevant questions.

This guide will give you a step-by-step approach to preparation. Remember, competence
leads to confidence. The more you prepare, the more confident you will be during the
conversation.


BE CURIOUS

Knowledge is power. The first step in any negotiation is to gather as much information as
you can on the person with whom you are negotiating and the situation as a whole.

Ask the following questions as you prepare before the negotiation:

● With whom am I negotiating?

● What are their goals?
● What are my goals?
● How can I solve their problems?
● How can they solve my problems?
● What is valuable to them?
● What is valuable to me?
● What do they like?
● What don't they like?
● What motivates them?
● What is their background (professional, educational, religious, ethnic, familial,
etc.)?
● Why are we having this conversation?
● What are the relevant numbers?
● What is my goal in this negotiation?
● What are the barriers to agreement?

Your goal is to know as much as possible before the negotiation begins. However, it is
impossible to know everything there is to know about the person and the situation. That is
why it's important to create an exhaustive list of open ended questions that you can ask
during the conversation to fill any gaps in information that exist.

Write a list of open-ended questions that you will use during the negotiation.

1. 6.
2. 7.
3. 8.
4. 9.
5. 10.

Write significantly more questions than you think you will have the opportunity to ask
during the conversation. Remember, your goal is to get them to talk as much as possible.
The more they talk, the more you learn.


UNDERSTAND YOUR OPTIONS

It is important for you to know what you will do if you don't get a deal; this is known as
your best alternative to a negotiated agreement. In most scenarios, there is life beyond
this specific deal. Having a firm understanding of your options will alleviate pressure
because you know this is not a make or break situation.

Write down your top three backup options if you are unable to reach an agreement
in this negotiation.

1.
2.
3.
It is also important to know that there are often a number of potentially acceptable deal
structures in each negotiation. For example, if you are a consultant, you could create a
number of packages with different price points before the negotiation. Then, during the
negotiation as you ask more questions and get a better understanding of the situation, you
can offer packages that fit their needs and their budget.

Write down as many acceptable agreements as you can come up with.

First Option:
Second Option:
Third Option:
Fourth Option:
Fifth Option:

Order them in terms of preference from most preferable to least preferable. For
entrepreneurs, this would most likely be a list of packages starting with the most
expensive package down to the least expensive package.


PRACTICE YOUR “NO”

People often forget that “no deal” is an acceptable outcome in negotiation. Not all deals
are meant to be made. Negotiation is the art of deal discovery, not the art of the deal
creation. This should alleviate pressure because you no longer will feel forced to make a
deal.
Write down your bottom line. What is the lowest or highest you're willing to go
in this negotiation?

One important thing to keep in mind with your bottom line is that you should be aware of
the bottom line throughout the negotiation but you should not focus on it. Think of the
bottom line like the out of bounds line in sports. A coach will make a play with the goal
of scoring, not the goal of avoiding the out of bounds line. However, the coach will
always keep those boundaries in mind as she draws up the play.

Why is this important? You will naturally start to drift toward your focus. If you focus on
the bottom line throughout your negotiation, you will start to notice that your questions
and statements will start to lead the conversation closer to your bottom line instead of
toward your goal.

If the negotiation gets to a point where you do not believe the deal is realistic, you need
to say no. Although it is only two letters, sometimes it is the hardest thing to say.
Write out how you will say no if the time comes:

If saying no is difficult for you I would suggest listening to (or reading) my podcast/blog
episode “Forget Yes. How Do I Say No? ” where I break down how you can say no while
strengthening the relationship.


CONFLICT RESOLUTION GUIDE

Where there are people, there is conflict. The closer you are with someone, the more
likely there is to be conflict. Conflicts shouldn’t be looked at as something to be avoided.
It is an opportunity to increase understanding and strengthen the relationship. This Guide
will help you as you seek to resolve the conflicts in your business and your life.

COMMON GROUND
Before addressing a conflict, it is important to understand the foundation of the
relationship. If you are working in a partnership or on a team, there is common ground
from where you should start the conversation. Answer the following questions to uncover
the foundation for the relationship:

Why are you working together?

What positives do you bring to the table?

What positives do they bring to the table?

What are the team’s goals?

What are your shared values?

Start the conversation by reiterating these shared goals and values. Get your partner to
agree to these shared goals and values before you begin the conversation. This helps to
generate positive momentum for the rest of the conversation before you begin tackling
bigger issues.

EMOTIONS
Emotions, like conflicts, are inevitable and shouldn’t be overlooked. Before jumping into
the conversation, try and identify the emotions at play beneath the surface, both for you
and for your partner or teammate. If you don’t know what the emotion is at play for your
partner you need to ask during the conversation.

How are you feeling?

What triggered this feeling?

How are they feeling?

What triggered this feeling in them?



If you don’t know the answer to these questions come up with three open-ended
questions that you can ask during the conversation to get this information.

1. _________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________

PROBLEM BEHAVIOR
It’s important to separate the problem behaviors from the subsequent interpretations of
the behaviors. Also address the objective effect of the actions that issue. Answer the
following questions to determine the problem:

What action(s) did you take to cause the negative emotion in your teammate or
partner?

What action(s) did your teammate or partner take to cause the negative emotion in
you?

What were the results of the action(s) at issue and what effect did it have on the
business?

CONTRIBUTION
Instead of blaming, focus on your contribution to the issue and their contribution to the
issue. Answer the following questions to address contribution:

What actions did you take that contributed to this issue?

What did you say that contributed to this issue?

What actions did your partner or teammate take that contributed to this issue?

What did your partner or teammate say that contributed to this issue?


UNDERSTANDING
We can never completely understand what’s going on in the minds of the person on the
other side of the conflict. However, it is important for us to do our best to try and figure it
out. Ask yourself the following questions to help you determine which questions you
need to ask during the negotiation:

What don’t you know?

What do you need to know in order to understand your partner or teammate’s

position?

Why do you want to know? The answer to this question will be what you should
say before you begin asking questions. For example, “I want to know about how
you are feeling about the situation because, as colleagues, it’s important for us to
be open and honest with each other in order for the business to succeed.”

Now create a list of at least five open-ended questions that will help you to understand
your partner or teammate.

1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________

After your partner or teammate responds, demonstrate your understanding by repeating

what you’ve heard in their words. The process is simple: ask a question, demonstrate
your understanding, and then ask if you understood correctly. If the person says that you
didn’t understand correctly, repeat the process until they confirm that you understand.


SOLUTIONS
It is important to note that solutions are the last thing we talk about. Why? You need to
set a firm foundation for the conversation and seek understanding before you can present
solutions. If you present solutions to early, they will be shot down because the other party
doesn’t believe you can come up with a solution because you don’t understand their
perspective or the situation as a whole. Go into the conversation with a list of five
potential solutions. Then work with them to come up with hybrid solutions that meet both
of your needs.

1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________


SALARY NEGOTIATION GUIDE

This document will help you to prepare for your next salary negotiation. If you approach
this correctly, you may add thousands of dollars per year to your next salary. My goal is
to systematize the negotiation process as much as possible so you can have a practical,
step-by-step guide. The last section is by far the most important to keep in mind.

How to use this guide

Go through this document and answer all of the questions. Your goal should be to answer
these questions so thoroughly that nothing else could possibly be added to your
responses. If you take the time to do this the right way you should see this document
expand to at least ten pages.

GOALS
Always begin with the end goals in mind. What are your goals in this negotiation? It's
important at this point not to get fixated on salary alone. Consider the overall package.
Ask yourself the following questions to get a better understanding of your goals in this
negotiation:

What kind of value can I get out of this negotiation?

This as an opportunity for you to think outside of the box. Don't just focus on salary;
consider benefits, vacation time (paid/unpaid), sick days, bonuses, incentives,
commission, travel reimbursement, educational opportunities, title, meetings with your
supervisor, office location, health insurance, etc.

What kind of relationship do I hope to establish and maintain?

Remember, growing and maintaining relationships is one of the three goals of
negotiation.

How do I want to position myself for future growth in the company?

Think of your career like a game of chess. In order to advance, you need to make sure
you are in the right position for growth. When thinking about positioning think about
your roles, responsibilities, and contacts within the organization.


RESEARCH
I say it all the time; knowledge is power. Gather as much information as you can on the
company, the potential position, the person with whom you are negotiating, and the
market. Ask yourself the following questions:

With whom am I negotiating?

Simply knowing the name is not enough. Do as much research on them as you would if
you were trying to date them. What are their interests, their passions, their goals, their
likes and dislikes, where did they go to school, what do they do on the weekends, etc.?
Knowing this information will help you to establish rapport faster. It will also help you to
avoid pitfalls in the negotiation because you know what makes them tick.

What are the company goals?

Here, you want to make sure you have a thorough understanding of the company's goals
for the future and the rule that you will play in achieving those goals.

What is your market price?

Do research using websites like www.glassdoor.com to see what a fair salary is for
somebody of your experience in your position. You want to find the market price by
utilizing a nonbiased, third-party that has a strong reputation. Utilizing this information as
you attempt to persuade the company will be crucial to your success.

YOUR COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE

People often underestimate their unique value proposition. This is going to be one of your
best selling points during this negotiation. It is important to understand who you are and
what you can offer before you get into this negotiation.

What do your managers and colleagues say about you and your skills?
This is a great place to start because it helps you see yourself from other people’s
perspectives. Sometimes it is hard for us to see what we bring to the table because our
skills come so naturally to us that we take them for granted. Doing an unofficial survey of
colleagues, family, and friends will help you to get a better understanding of your unique
value proposition.

Why do people come to you for help?

Similar to the previous question, this will help you to see your strengths from an outside
perspective.


ALTERNATIVES
Your negotiation position is only a strong as you are alternatives. Coming into the
negotiation with options is one of the best ways to increase your leverage in the
negotiation.

What happens if the negotiation doesn't work out?

Do you have other offers? Are there other potential employers you can court? Could you
move to another division? If you are coming to the table with a few options, the person
with whom you are negotiating may have a little reason to be flexible with their initial
offer. It's important to note here that this information should be shared delicately.
Sometimes, if you work in an intimate environment and you are very close to your
manager/boss, this could come off as a lack of company loyalty. That is why it is so
important for you to do your research on the person with whom you are negotiating.

How can you increase your options?

It may be helpful to try and get other offers before coming to the negotiation table. Have
conversations with people from different organizations or different divisions within the
company to get a better understanding of the market and your options.

AVOID COMMON PITFALLS

A negotiation is a delicate dance. If you take a wrong step, you could hurt your partner
and s/he might not want to dance with you anymore. In this section, we will review the
top five mistakes that can irreparably damage the negotiation.

Don't accept an offer if there is a chance you may negotiate in the future.
In our salary negotiation episode, Vanessa Gaboleiro talked about how this could do
serious damage to your relationship with the company and can reflect poorly on you as a
professional.

Don't respond to their offer with an over aggressive counter.

How do you know if your offer is over aggressive? This depends entirely on the research
that you do ahead of time. You can avoid this pitfall simply by preparing and doing
adequate research beforehand. If your counter offer is too high, you run the risk of
offending the company and it makes you look like you don't have a good understanding
of your worth in the market. Both of which can, again, reflect poorly on you as a
professional.


Don't leave value on the table.

After you have reached the salary that you are comfortable with, find other ways to get
value. For example, after I reached a number that I was comfortable with in my last
salary negotiation, I asked to be mentored by the CEO and get introductions to people in
her network. This is something that doesn't cost her anything so she was willing to agree
without issue. Although it didn't cost anything, it would have given me a significant
professional advantage in my career.

Don't over-negotiate.
This is one of the few times where over-negotiating is a legitimate risk. Most human
resources professionals would tell you that you only get one counter offer. When you
move to the second and third counter, the company is going to get offended and it might
make you look ungrateful. Again, this is where it is important to do your research and
know the company culture and familiarize yourself with the person with whom you were
negotiating.

Don't forget to get the offer in writing.

In one of my last salary negotiations, my start date was several months in the future. The
hiring manager followed up with me closer to the start date and said that the salary was
going to be $2000 less than what we had agreed upon. I was able to go into my email and
show her the agreed-upon number. You always want to leave a paper trail in case there
are any questions. In my scenario, she wasn't trying to do anything nefarious, she
honestly just forgot. Creating a paper trail keeps everybody on the same page.

PRACTICE
This is the most important part of the process. Find a friend, colleague, or coach with
whom you can practice.

When we work with our clients in this capacity they often say that it is the most
beneficial part of the process. All of the strategy and preparation in the world can’t help
you if you’re unable to perform when the heat is on.

How do you plan to practice before the negotiation?

All listeners get one free coaching session through the summer of 2017. Click here if
you’re interested!


FINAL THOUGHTS
If you found this free guide helpful, please leave us a five-star review on iTunes! That
really helps as we try to grow and share this helpful information with the masses.

If this works for you, shoot me an email and let me know, write a review on the iTunes
podcast page, and/or connect with me on LinkedIn. I would love to hear of your success!

Also, if you found this helpful, please share this with your friends. That would help me; it
would help your friends and would make you look like an all-star.