CHRISTIAN

MARITAL
COMMITMENT

What does it take

for a marriage to
last a lifetime?
Photos by zimmytws from https://depositphotos.com/ and Alphine Peñaverde

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

Learning Goals for this Session:

• Discuss helpful ways of preparing for marriage

• Explain the essence of commitment in marriage
and its implications for couples preparing for
marriage
• State the different traits to consider in Christian
marital commitment

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

REFERENCES:

de Mesa, Jose M. Marriage is Discipleship. East Asian Pastoral Institute, 1995.

Gonzalez, Andrew. FSC. One in the Lord. De La Salle University, Press, 1994.
Jason, Joel O. Free Love True Love: Rediscovering Love and Intimacy in John
Paul II’s Theology of the Body. Shepherd’s Voice Publication, 2008.
Keller, Timothy & Keller, Kathy. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the
Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God. Penguin, 2011.
Lana, Tamerlane O.P Marriage: A Commitment Love, Life and Family. UST
Publishing House, 2002.

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

MARRIAGE
Two Aspects of Commitment:

1.A commitment to God and

2.A commitment to one’s
spouse
Photos credit Facebook.com/HeSaidSheSaidPhilippines

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

The Matrimonial covenant,
by which a man and a woman
establish between themselves a
partnership of the whole of life,
is by its nature ordered toward
the good of the spouses and the
procreation and education of
offspring;
this covenant between baptized
persons has been raised by Christ the
Lord to the dignity of a sacrament. Painting by Ron DiCianni from Ivan Guaderrama.com Christian Art Work (pin)

(CCC, 2nd Ed., Art. 7., par. 1601)

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
 • The marital commitment
was the manner in and
through which married
Christians realized and
expressed their “seeking of
the Reign of God.”
Photo credit https://hubpages.com/

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

 In authentic marriage,
love, human activity and
divine presence come
together.
Photo taken from https://middlechildcatholicpriest.com/2015/08/23/communion-commitment/

In and through faithful mutual self-bestowal of married

couples, God’s gracious and persevering love becomes
visible and palpable; Christ love for Church is
sacramentalized. Scripture does not speak of the
relationship between God and human beings, between
Christ and the Church as “contract” but as a “covenant.” PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
 “Contract” vs. “Covenant”

Historically speaking, the As Christians, we see this

“marriage contract” was capacity for and
often something bargained capability to love in the
for by the two families light of God’s gracious
involved and frequently and unconditional
obscured the genuine covenantal love for us in
nature of the marital
Christ. (1 Jn. 4:19)
partnership.
This choice of covenant over contract locates marriage in our
Theology and Spirituality. PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
 What, then, is a covenant?

It is a relationship far more

intimate and personal than
a merely legal, business
relationship.
Photo taken from https://middlechildcatholicpriest.com/2015/08/23/communion-commitment/

Yet at the same time, it is far more durable, binding, and

unconditional than one based on mere feeling and
affection. A covenant relationship is a stunning blend of
law and love. (Keller, 2011)

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

 is the
• kind of relationship
between God and
people, and people
Photo taken from https://middlechildcatholicpriest.com/2015/08/23/communion-commitment/

• key to understand the among themselves

Christian perspective on where God’s will reigns
married life. supreme.

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

KEY CONCEPTS:
TRAITS OF THE CHRISTIAN MARITAL COMMITMENT

♥ a faith commitment, a commitment based on one’s faith in Jesus Christ,

♥ a total and faithful commitment, a commitment that gives all the love as
Christ does,
♥ an accepting commitment, a commitment that regards the other as a
person with equal dignity and responsibility,
♥ an exclusive commitment, a commitment without reserve to a particular
person and
♥ a continuing commitment, a commitment that is not made once and for
all, but on-going and renewed continuously.
PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
TRAITS OF THE CHRISTIAN MARITAL COMMITMENT
1. A FAITH COMMITMENT
Our basic model for relating to each other is the way Jesus
relates to us, and the way He related with His father and
fellow human beings.

Jesus struggled to commit himself to God’s cause, “the

Kingdom of God” totally and faithfully throughout his life
and through his death. Jesus’ faith in the Father was
realized, not from the very beginning of life but at the end
of it.

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

TRAITS OF THE CHRISTIAN MARITAL COMMITMENT
2. A TOTAL AND FAITHFUL COMMITMENT
The marriage partnership is a lifelong
companionship based on a total
and faithful commitment. This is one
of the reasons why the letter to the
Ephesians (Eph. 5:31-32)* compares
marriage to the relation of Christ
with His church.
* “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is
a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.” Photo taken from http://pastormiketaylor.blogspot.com/2018/02/does-jesus-beat-his-wife.html

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

 Christ has totally committed
himself to his community of
followers, promising to be
with us always.

“I am with you always until

the end of time.”
Photo credit David Bowman, “My Child” Painting from
https://www.davidbowmanart.com/pages/david-bowman-art-reviews
(Mt. 28:20)

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

He loved us even when we
have been unfaithful, and He
has poured out his life for us
and not hesitating to die for
us in order that we may live.

He has made us his own

Photo taken from: http://thurmontchurchbrethren.blogspot.com/2013/02/who-do-you-
say-i-am.html

body.
(1 Cor. 12; Eph. 5:28-30).

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

The God who has been
decisively revealed in Jesus can
only be defined as “love.”
(1 Jn. 4:7-16)

By the same token, the love which has been

manifested in Jesus can only be defined as “God.”
And both love and God can only be defined in
Christianity as “Jesus Christ.” (1 Cor. 13:4-8)
PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
 Christ is LOVE”
https://media.bizj.us/view/img/10319169/istock-532862858*1200xx5760-3240-0-300.jpg Art design by Sophie Gallo from https://www.silhouettedesignstore.com

If we were to take Christ is patient and kind;

this famous Christ is not jealous or boastful;
passage on love(1 Christ is not arrogant or rude.
Cor. 13: 4-8) and Christ does not insist on his own way;
substitute the Christ is not irritable or resentful;
name Christ for Christ does not rejoice at wrong, but
the word love in it, rejoices in the right.
the meaning Christ bears all things, believes all
would be the things, hopes all things, endures all
same. things.
Christ will never ends. PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
 It is love of this kind-the love that Christ has had for us
that we are to have for one another in our marriages.

“This is my commandment, that you love one

another as I have loved you.” (Jn. 15:12)

“If there is this love

among you, then all
will know that you are
my disciples.”
(Jn. 13:35)
Photo from https://exploringyourmind.com/caring-others-caring/
PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
We often ask what it
means to love God, and
how we can live out that
love. God answers us by
giving us the command
to love our neighbor, the
nearest and dearest of
whom is the spouse with Photo by Ryan Frederick from Fierce Marriage

whom we live.
PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
Human beings need to be loved and to give love, not only to
survive, but to develop as persons. In a very profound sense,
love is the most basic of all needs.

Love is necessary and essential for people to survive and to

become truly human. It stands as the supreme developing
agent of the humanity of the person.

Loving one another is not just a

religious exhortation for
believers; it is an “ought” for
anyone who wishes to be
human at all.

Photo from http://www.sacredsource.com.au/blog/dear-human/ PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

Another quality of a totally committed
relationship that is marriage needs to
be mentioned: “fidelity to a failure”.

Marriage should really be a place

where we are allowed to fall flat on
our faces without being abandoned
because of it.

This is what faithfulness is all about; it gives us the psychological

space to fall in a world with little or no room for failure. It is
unconditional and stands in spite of everything even when
someone fails us, even when someone is unfaithful to us.
An example of this is the Parable of the Prodigal Son.
PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
TRAITS OF THE CHRISTIAN MARITAL COMMITMENT
3. AN ACCEPTING COMMITMENT
The acceptance of the spouse as an “other” person
who is equal in dignity and in responsibility.

Acceptance of the other is regarding the other as an

“other” and not merely an extension of one’s self.

Accepting the other means learning to love and

value the other for the imperfect person he or she is.

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

 Every married person puts up with a
number of traits and actions on the
part of a mate which are
disagreeable and sometimes
embarrassing.
Photo from https://www.marriage.com/advice/communication/6-effective-ways-for-communication/

There are some things that can wreck a marriage:

alcoholism, neurotic or psychotic fears and demands, infidelity,
mental or physical cruelty.
These evils belong in a class by themselves and must be
treated separately. But in the typical, everyday Christian
marriage, there are many petty irritations and dislikes, and the
committed marriage is one in which we learn to accept in love,
the other’s imperfections.
PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
 Our love for a person and our Christian
faith tell us that since we are made in the
image and likeness of our Creator, the
hidden potential can only be staggering.
Acceptance means, allowing this
potential to emerge and develop.

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

TRAITS OF THE CHRISTIAN MARITAL COMMITMENT
4. AN EXCLUSIVE COMMITMENT
Exclusivity is first and foremost a positive statement. It posits
that love and sex are intimately bound to one another.

Marital love is sexual love; marital sexuality is loving sexuality.

Married couples express their deepest feelings and thoughts
in and through sexuality.

As their love finds its most intimate expression in their being

sexual, their being masculine and feminine, so their sexuality
is deeply imbued by their love for and dedication to one
another.
PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
 Photo taken from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/02/well/family/millennials-love-relationships-marriage-dating.html

SEX is derived from the Latin word

“secare”, which means “to divide, to
separate.” This is why we separate the
sexes according to male and female.

But secare also means “to cut, to wound, to sever.”

Fittingly, human sexuality can be understood as one’s
willingness to be cut, to be wounded, to sacrifice for
the sake of one’s beloved.
PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
Male and female are special terms with specific
meanings. First of all, they point the physical difference
which distinguishes one sex from another.
The physical sexual difference is emphasized to
highlight the purpose of that difference the ability to
procreate. This is the life-giving or procreative
significance of the marital act.
“Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.”
Gen. 1:28
PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
 Photo credit https://www.marriage.com/advice/communication/6-effective-ways-for-communication/

Mating in the human world besides sex is called sexual

intercourse. Intercourse means communication. It is a
communication of a sexual nature. This gives sex its humanness,
its human character. In the usual course of things, only humans
naturally unite face to face. That’s why Natural Family Planning,
the most scientifically accurate way of planning the family, is
most compatible to our human practice of sexuality because
the main character of NFP is shared responsibility and
communication between couples. PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
TRAITS OF THE CHRISTIAN MARITAL COMMITMENT
5. A CONTINUING COMMITMENT
Christian marriage is also a continuing dedication.
It is a commitment which is never made once and for
all. with time many things change, including the person
we are.

As committed Christians, we cannot simply assume that

once, we are married for life and that’s that.
Couples who think this way are really settling down
instead of living up.

PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020

A continuing commitment -
which is acted out in the routine
activities of married life is essential.
It needs to be affirmed when one’s
spouse is not particularly
cooperative in things that need to
be attended to, when money is
spent, or the kids are disciplined, or
plans for the future laid.
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ff/30/10/ff30108e5060235250ef8633b9f63ecc--old-couples-elderly-couples.jpg

It must be made when we are tires or zestful, when we are happy or

distressed. It must be renewed in the middle of quarrels and when all
is going well.
And now and then, it must be put into words of love.
PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020
 WHAT DOES IT TAKE FOR A MARRIAGE TO LAST A LIFETIME?
Short Assignment:
Using the link, kindly comment on any of the following questions as an
affirmation of your active participation in our asynchronous discussion.

• Based on your understanding, and reflection of

the varied traits of Christian marital commitment,
which one do you think is the most challenging to
fulfill? Describe.
• Which among these traits do you observe in your
family?
• Which of these do you desire to realize in the
future? PPT Prepared by DPJMartinez2020