Marriage Rites and Rituals [Iyers]

By P. R. Ramachander

Introduction

Marriage ceremonies and rituals, though based on the common

religious percepts are different for different castes in India. It is also
different for the same caste living in different parts of the country
not only based on the Veda or Sutra they belong but also due to
customs that the community has adopted.

An attempt has been made to list out and describe the various rituals
and functions of the marriage of Iyers. It does not mean that these
are same for all Iyers. According the Veda and the Sutra that they
follow as well as the custom adopted by the families these can be
different. The marriage rituals, except for a few have not been stable
over years. It has kept on changing according to the needs and
conveniences of the iyer society. Even about 100 years back, most of
the marriages were celebrated for four days. Little earlier to that
Vara Dakshina or dowry was not in practice but Kanya Shulka or
brides money was given to the father of the bride. What are being
described are the functions and rituals, as it should be based on the
Vedas and different family customs, which are in vogue. Some effort
has also been made to give the significance of these functions as
well as the meanings of the important mantras recited at different
times.

Marriage for a Hindu is not a contract but a sacrament or in other

words. a function dictated by religion aimed at elevating two
individuals in to a unified whole called the family. But going through
the following, it could be seen that all the prayers are chanted by the
groom. All prayers are aimed at purifying the bride and no where a
need for purification of the groom is mentioned. (One of the learned
referees of this article has pointed out that, performance of Vritha
cleans the bridegroom). It could also be seen that majority of the
rituals are dictated by custom rather than by religion. Marriage is
one of the 40 samskaras (16 according to some), which every
individual has to undergo from the time of conception in the womb
of the mother till the individuals death. Samskara in Sanskrit means
refining Marriage is one of the important samskaras in an
individual's life.

Every individual iyer knows that the iyer marriage is a very

complicated function. They would however be surprised to know that
the part dictated by Vedas in the marriage ceremony is extremely
less. Most of the manthras are very significant but some of them are
extremely out dated. Some of the out dated ceremonies are slowly
being changed or left out by our forefathers. We have to be really
proud of that group of people who were tied in orthodoxy of those
times but willing to change once they realized that it is not relevant.
Apart from the Vedic rituals there are also puranic rituals, which
must have crept in with passage of time. This was possibly the
reason why the Indian Constitution tells that the stipulated marriage
rites of a Hindu community are those rites, which have been
prevalent for the past 25 years. There are also umpteen rituals in the
iyer marriage, which has nothing to do with Veda or puranas or even
the religion. These are the loukika rituals. Sumnagalis or married
women whose husbands are alive take a leadership in determining
and carrying out these rituals.

Broadly in the iyer marriage the Vedic rituals are 1. Groom asks for
the girl from her father through intermediaries 2. Father of the bride
agrees 3. The father of the groom gives permission for the groom to
marry 4. The bride's father gives his daughter as a gift to the groom
and then 5. The Groom marries the bride who is now his. But the
rituals and steps are much more than five The rituals and functions
as was the practiced are:

1. Vang Nischayam
2. Sumangali Prarthana
3. Pongi Podal at the aunt's house
4. Yatra danam at the Grooms house
5. Receiving of the Grooms party
6. Vara Praekshanam
7. Janu Vasam
8. Nischaathartham
9. Vritham for the groom and Kappu Kettal (Raksha) for the bride
10. Sprinkling of Paligai
11. Para desi kolam and Kasi Yatrai
12. Malai mattal or Exchange of garlands
13. Unchal and Pachai podi
14. Vara Poojai
15. Telling of Pravaram
16. Dharai Varthal or Kanya danam
17. Agni prathishtapanam
18. Madu Parkam and Vara pooja
19. Looking at the bride
20. Vivaha sankalpam, Kanya samskaram and Mangala snanam
21. Mangalya dharanam
22. Wearing of toe ring by the bride
23. Prayer while tying the string made of Dhurbha
24. Groom leading the bride in front of the fire
25. Agni muhurtham
26. Panigrihanam
27. Saptha padhi
28. Parinayam and Pradhana homam
29. Asmarohanam, Laja Homam and Agni Pradakshinam
30. Removal of Dhurba tied around the bride
31. Jayadhi homam
32. Aseervadham and Phala Dhanam
33. Palum Pazhamum
34. Marriage feast (Lunch)
35. Nalangu
36. Journey towards husband's home
37. Griha pravesam
38. Pravesya Homam
39. Gandharva pooja
40. Prayer for getting good children
41. Seeing of Arundhathi and Dhruva
42. Post Marriage Rituals
a. Sthali bhagam
b. Oupasanam
c. Sesha homam
d. Nandi sraddham
e. Kooshmanda Homam
f. Phala dhanam
g. Thamboola charvanam
h. Aseervadam

1. Vaaang Nischayam (Loukika)

The families after examining the compatibility of the couples both

physical and mental and the longevity of their wedded life from the
horoscopes initiate the marriage negotiations. This consists of
enquiring about the background of the bride's and groom's families
and a visit of the groom and family to the bride's house. Once the
groom and bride like each other both families decide to perform the
marriage. A simple ceremony which was preceded by a Vigneswara
pooja and exchange of Nalikera and Thamboola (Coconut, betel leaf
and arecanut) before elderly people of both families, by the brides
and grooms parents is called Vaang Nischaya, Later the reading of
Lagna Patrika (or a contract by both parents about the performance
of the marriage) was added to this simple function. But this has now
become a mini marriage ceremony, which is celebrated in the
groom's house. Apart from what is described in the last paragraph,
mutual garlanding of the groom by the bride and a big feast for large
number of invited guests etc form a part of this function.

2. Sumangali Prarthanai (Loukika)

This is a prayer by the groom's and bride's families to those ladies of

their family who have died as sumangalis. i. e. died before their
husbands. The blessings of these sumangalis are sought by inviting
5-8 Sumangalis for a special pooja and a traditional feast. Normally
the married daughters and sisters of the family are included in the
list of invitees. All Sumangalis come to the feast in a traditional
attire of a nine-yard sari. Here the Sumangalis invited represent the
dead Sumangalis of the house and they are first woshipped and fed.
It is interesting to note that this is the only iyer function in which
women eat before men. Apart from Sumangalis a kanya is also
invited. There is lot of variation of this pooja, which almost differs
from family to family. No priest is called and no Sanskrit sloka is
recited. It is a custom in certain families to hold it after the marriage
so that the daughter or daughter-in -law participates as a Sumangali
in this Pooja.
3. Pongi Podal (Loukika)

Female elders were extremely important in an iyer family especially

the father's sisters (aunt) and mother's brothers' wife (Mami).
Before the marriage these relations used to invite their nephew (or
niece) for a traditional feast in which Pongal Chadam (rice cooked
with Dhal and turmeric), which is the sign of prosperity, is prepared.
Also all the dishes that their nephew (or niece) likes are prepared.
This is a sort of farewell feast by these elders to the bride or groom
who are going to form a family themselves.

4. Yatra Danam (Puranic)

Iyer marriages always take place in the bride's place of residence

and so there is a need for the groom and his parents to travel to the
bride's place. So before starting a Vigneswara Pooja is performed
and dana is given to Brahmins to ward of evils. It is also customary
to break a coconut before the party departs to ward of evil eye.

5. Receiving of the grooms party (Loukika)

This is a very important function of yester years and used to be done

at the boundary of the village. The bride's parents receive the groom
and his family with coconuts and Nadaswaram and lead them to the
place where stay has been arranged. With the concept of village
undergoing change, nowadays the groom's party is taken to their
place of stay and is received in front of the mantap by the bride's
parents and relatives. They are received besides the usual coconut,
flowers and Thamboola with two conical structures called "Paruppu
Thengai Kutti" made of dhal, jaggery and coconut. This sort of
reception with Kutti happens five times during the marriage ritual.
Though still called Paruppu (dhal), Thengai (coconut) Kutti, these
are nowadays made of cashew nut or Laddu or Lozenges of various
other sweets. This Nadaswaram troupe continues to play till the
marriage ceremonies over in the mantap. Off and on, when
important rituals take place, the priest's signal for Getti melam,
which means faster and louder playing of the drum. This is supposed
to prevent bad words or words of ill omen from being heard at the
marriage hall.
6. Vara Prekshanam or Kanya Varanam (Vedic)

This is a ceremony in which the groom sends learned Brahmins as

his emissaries to the groom's father and requests him to give his
daughter in marriage to him. The mantras recited are from Rig Veda.
This consists of several parts: -
i. Requests to the Brahmins to Go on his behalf: Hey Elders, You
have decided to help me based on my request. Please go with a
contended heart to request a bride for me. You would be all blessed
by the devas who will get their share in the yagas to be performed
by my wife and me after marriage.
ii. Prays for a safe passage to the elders: Let the path of these elders
who are my friends be devoid of stones and thorns. Let Aryama the
deva unite the bride and me. Let the family that we are going to
build be holy and well joined. Let the path these elders take be the
shortest and straight one. Let the Deva Aryama help these elders in
their endeavor.

7. Janu Vasam (Loukika)

This is a very important function of the iyer marriage. In the present

day it consists of getting dressed in western clothes by the groom at
the nearby temple and from there coming to the mantap in a grand
procession to accept the bride. The bride's brother presents the
dresses for the occasion to the groom before the januvasam and
arrangements are made to take them to a predetermined temple. A
special Pooja of the deity is also arranged It also is an indirect
exposure of the groom to the general public. If some body knows
some thing negative about him (like he is already married or he is a
bad character), they get a chance of telling it to the bride's father.
The procession nowadays is in a car preceded by a grand
nadaswaram and some times bursting of crackers. In the olden days
the procession used to be even on elephants. This procession also
has some very interesting implication. According to the Vedas, once
upanayanam is over for a Brahmin boy, he becomes a Brahma charin
or one who walks in the way of Brhama. It was a time for him to
learn Vedas and other necessary knowledge. It was customary
during those times that he used to wear one white short cloth up to
the knee, never shave or have a hair cut, never wear a garland or
scents, never wear sandal paste and in fact lead a saintly life. Janu
means knee and vasam is cloth. Janu Vasam is really a procession in
which the groom is brought to the bride's house as a brahmachari.
He was expected to wear only a cloth up to the knee. Ofcouse now it
is not like that.

8. Nischayathartham (Loukika)

This is an important item of the marriage ritual and is normally held

in the previous evening to the marriage and after the Janu Vasam.
This consists of a preliminary Ganapathi Pooja followed by
honouring the parents of the groom by the parents of the bride and
vice versa and announcing the final agreement by the bride's
parents that they are willing to give their daughter in marriage to
this groom. The groom and his parents accept the proposal. The
groom's parents give her a silk sari during this time. She receives
this and changes whatever sari she wears with the new one. The
groom's sister ties in some families Thamboola in the end of this
sari. Please note that the proposal was initiated by the groom
through the intermediary of the elders and not by the bride's parents
as is common now. This system must have changed from Vedic times
in the recent past. In this function elders from both families meet
each other and bless the groom and the bride for a happy future.
There is also a custom of giving articles for washing and make up as
well as two dolls by the groom's party to the bride during this
occasion. It is called for Vilayadal or playing. This is supposed to be
given by the groom's sister. Sometimes along with this she also
presents a silk sari. There is a tendency nowadays of holding the
marriage reception after this Nischayathatham. Under normal
circumstances there seems to be nothing wrong but many of the
rituals reserved for the marriage like Garlanding of each other and
pani Grahanam take place then. Though some elders frown at this
tendency most of them accept it. But if the marriage does not take
place after this pani grahanam and Mala Dharanam, for some reason
or other, it will be really tragic as these are part of the Hindu
marriage ceremonies.
9. Vritham and Kappu Kettal (Vedic)

As mentioned under Januvasam, the groom is still a brhamacharin in

the ascetic garb. He is unshaved, uncut and supposed to lead a strict
life as prescribed. His Guru when he was initiated in this life of
penance is his father. So it is essential that before he gets married
he has to take permission from his father (Guru) to end his Brhama
Charya Vritha and marry and lead a life of a Grihastha. This function
is Vritham. This function could also be performed in the groom's
house before he departs to the bride's house for marriage. The
bride's family lead by the maternal aunt of the bride normally invites
the groom with a pair of Paruppu Thengai Kutti. During this time the
groom's father makes him perform all the samskaras like
namakaranam, Choulam, Annaprasanam etc which for some reason
have not been performed and also make the groom do the duties as
a brahmacharin which he has not performed like Khanda rishi
tharpanam, Prajapatyam, Saumyam, Agneyam, Vaiswadevam etc
and complete the samavarthana(life of a brhma charin). It is
necessary according to religious beliefs that he has gained expertise
in Vedas by this time. Simultaneously a Raksha (Protection) in the
form of a sacred string is tied in the wrist of the bride after reciting
Vedic manthras to protect her from all evil spirits and also those
Gandharvas, who were holding charge of her till then. There is a
custom of giving oil for bath, green gram for oil bath, sweets to eat
after he takes a bath, to the groom before the Vritha by the aunt
(Athai) of the bride. Nowadays this has been enlarged to include a
shaving set, toilet articles like soap scent etc. Earlier days all these
were supposed to be given during the early morning of the marriage
at the groom's quarters with accompaniment of Nadaswaram etc.
But nowadays, it is mostly handed over to the groom's party the
previous night. This is a purely Loukika custom.

10. Sprinkling of Paligai (Puranic)

Pali means row of trees and this ritual would have been planting of
trees by the groom's and bride's families for the upkeep and
happiness of the groom and the bride. In modern days, this consists
of sowing germinated seeds of nine kinds of pre-soaked cereals in 5
mud pots (layered with green grass and bilva leaves) by married
women (Sumangalis) relatives of the groom and the bride. They first
sow the germinated seeds and pour milk with water over it. It is a
custom nowadays to have five such pots for each side. Five
sumangalis (three from the groom's relatives and two from the
bride's relatives in case of the groom's side and three from the
bride's relatives and two from the bride's side in case of bride's side)
sow the germinated grain and pray for long happy married life for
the couple as well as several children to brighten their homes. In
Kerala, these germinated plants in the mud pots are supposed to be
left in the river nearby after 4 days. There is an opinion from a
learned referee that, rather that the germinated seeds should be
eaten as is the custom in Karnataka. But during modern times, this
is rarely done and nobody bothers about the germinated seeds.
 Tamil Wedding Ceremony

Tamilians have their own rituals followed before, during and after
the wedding, which look very vibrant. All the customs are followed
with religious observance. All the people, right from the prospective
bride and the groom to the family members, friends and relatives
have the festive mood, which is set by the ceremony. The ambience
is filled with nothing but happiness and celebration. The festive
spirits are boosted up among the people, witnessing the ceremony,
by the colorful and elaborate rituals that are conducted before,
during and after the marriage.

The pre-marriage rituals followed by the Tamil speaking Brahmins

include fasting, puja and exchange of gifts. The groom is received by
the family of the bride. The wedding ceremony is also elaborate,
which incorporates the rituals that are typical to the Brahmin
community, such as oonjal, kashi yatra and kanyaadaan (wherein
the bride sits on the lap of her father). Post-marriage, the bride and
the groom are given treats and gifts. After swearing in as the wife,
the bride enters the groom's home to prosper his life there. This is
the way most of the marriages are conducted among the Tamil
speaking Brahmins in India and all over the world. In this section,
we have given detailed information on the traditional Tamil wedding
ceremony.

Tamil Pre-Wedding Rituals

Tamil wedding is a vast affair, wherein a number of rituals are

followed. Well before the wedding day, people (including the family
members of the prospective bride and the groom) are engaged in the
preparations of the ceremony, which is considered a very important
turning point in the couple's life. This is the reason why, marriage is
given supreme importance and a number of ceremonies are
conducted before, during and after it. You would just like to stand
and witness the typical Tamil Brahmin wedding, which incorporates
unique customs. Explore all about the Tamil pre-wedding rituals in
the following lines.
 Tamil Pre-Wedding Customs

Panda Kaal Muhurtham

Panda Kaal Muhurtham is a pre-wedding ritual conducted by the

Tamilians, in order to seek blessings from the Almighty. Generally, a
short ritual is performed a day prior to the wedding, wherein both
the families of the bride and the groom offer prayers to the Lord.
This is done to ensure that the wedding preparations proceed
without any hassle.

Receiving The Groom

When the groom's family reaches the wedding venue on the morning
of one day before the wedding, they are greeted and welcomed
warmly, by the bride's family, by offering them a tray containing
flowers, beetle nuts, fruits and mishri. Rose water is also sprinkled
on them.

The bride's brother applies tilak made by mixing sandalwood paste

and kumkum, on the groom's forehead. Thereafter, the brother also
puts a garland around the groom's neck. Then, the bride's mother
serves a delicious dessert prepared from condensed milk.
Thereafter, aarti is performed by an elder female member of the
bride's family. In order to culminate the ritual and to ward-off the
evil eye, a coconut is broken on the ground.

Vratham & Pallikai Thellichal

Vratham (fasting) takes place one day prior to the marriage. The
fasting is performed by the bride as well as the groom's family. In
the mean time, Vedic hymns are chanted, which is conducted by the
priest (Vaadyar). This ritual is performed to invoke the blessings of
ancestors and the Almighty.

Pallikai Thellichal ceremony is also held a day before the wedding. It

involves the filling of clay pots with nine varieties of grains. Married
women pour water from either sides of the pot. This is followed by
singing of traditional songs. The grains are allowed to sprout, by
soaking them in water for a day or two. Then the clay pots are kept
inside the pond, so that the fishes can feed on the sprouted grains
and shower blessings to the couple, who is going to tie the nuptial
knot.

Naandi & Jaanavaasam

Naandi ceremony is conducted to honor the Brahmins by presenting

gifts and sweets to them. They are specially invited and the families
seek their blessings, to ensure that the wedding is carried on
smoothly.

Although the ritual of Jaanavaasam has faded away with the passing
time, it is still followed by some Tamil Brahmin families. During
Jaanavaasam, the groom boards a beautifully decorated car. He is
accompanied by a large marriage procession of close friends and
relatives. Professional musicians are called invited to entertain the
procession by playing the traditional wedding songs. Fireworks form
part of marriage celebrations. The bride's brother puts garland
around the groom's neck, in order to welcome him at the entrance of
the wedding hall.

Nicchiyadharatham

The bride's parents offer prayers to Lord Ganesha, who is believed to

banish all obstacles. A puja is conducted in the presence of priest.
The groom's family presents a new sari to the bride. Her forehead is
adorned with a tilak made from chandan and kumkum and her sari's
pallu is filled with fruits, beetle nuts, turmeric, kumkum and
coconut. In addition, a flower garland is tied around her waist. Aarti
is done for the bride.

Reading Of Lagna Pathirigai

The priest plays a prominent role in the reading of Lagna Pathirigai,

a pre-marriage ritual conducted by the Tamil Brahmins. He also
announces other details related to marriage, including the
muhurtam and the venue for the wedding. Thereafter,
mouthwatering lavish dinner is served.

Tamil Wedding Rituals

Tamil wedding rituals are very elaborate. They involve a number of

ceremonies that are performed to ensure that the bride and the
groom, who are going to tie the wedding knot, enter their new phase
of life in the most elegant manner. A number of ceremonies revolve
around the wedding, which is very charming to look at. Every stage
of the rituals is performed with religious observance. The ambience
is filled with festivity. You would be highly enthusiastic about what
is going to happen next, if you witness a typical Tamil Brahmin
wedding. Go through the following lines to know more about the
Tamil Brahmin wedding rituals.

Tamil Wedding Customs

Mangala Snaanam & Kashi Yatra

After applying oil, and a tilak of haldi-kimkum, the bride and the
groom take the mangala snaanam (holy bath) at the respective
homes, on the dawn of the wedding day. After having the mangala
snaanam, the bridegroom pretends that he is leaving for Kashi and
he is no more interested in performing the role of a householder. He
stops only when the girl's father persuades him to take the
responsibility of his daughter, by marrying her. Then the groom
heads his way for the wedding pandal, where the bride and her
family receives him. This beautiful custom is known as kashi yatra.

Exchange Of Garlands & Oonjal

After the groom enters the pandal, he exchanges garlands for three
times with the bride. This ceremony is full of fun and frolic.
Thereafter, they are seated together on a swing. Married women
give the newly weds spoonful of milk and banana pieces to eat.
Kanyadaanam & Muhurtham

As the groom reaches the mandapam, the bride's father welcomes

his son-in-law. The groom's mother-in-law puts kajal in his eyes.
Thereafter, his father-in-law washes his feet, considering him as
God. The bride is then seated in her father's lap with a coconut in
her hands. Thereafter, the bride and her father offer coconut to the
bridegroom. In the meantime, the bride's mother puts water over
the coconut. This gesture symbolizes the kanyaadaan of their
daughter. The bridegroom's family presents their daughter-in-law a
nine-yard sari that she has to wear, when the mangalsutra will be
tied around her neck.

Seeking the help of her sister-in-law and aunts, the bride wears the
nine-yard sari and enters the mandapam. A sack of paddy is kept on
the floor and the bride's father is made to sit on it. The bride is
asked to sit on her father's lap. Paddy represents abundance and
good fortune. The yoke of a farmer's plough is taken and touched to
the forehead of the bride. It is done with the hope that the couple
will always walk together. The priest and the relatives touch the
Mangalsutra and thereby, bless the newly wedded couple.
Thereafter, a sacred yellow thread is handed over to the bridegroom,
which he puts around his wife's neck and ties two knots. The third
knot is tied by the groom's sister. The three knots symbolize the
union of the mind, spirit and body.

Saptapadi

The bridegroom takes his wife's right hand in his left hand and leads
her around the holy fire for seven times. In every round, she touches
her feet to the grindstone hoping that their union will be firm
forever.

Tamil Post-Wedding Rituals

After organizing an enthralling wedding ceremony, the family of the
bride and the groom head towards preparing the venue for the post-
wedding celebrations. While grihapravesh is the post-marriage
custom common in almost every region in India, the Tamil Brahmins
have their own way of culminating the auspicious ceremony. Apart
from grihapravesh, wherein the bride enters the groom's house
formally in order to prosper his life there, many other rituals are
exclusive to the Tamil-speaking Brahmins in India. Learn more about
the Tamil post-wedding rituals in the article.

Tamil Post-Wedding Customs

Sammandhi Mariyathai

Depending upon the financial status, the families of the newly wed
couple exchange gifts and clothes, to mark the culmination of the
wedding. This custom is popularly known as sammandhi mariyathai.

Laaja Homam & Paaladaanam Custom

The bride's brother offers popped rice to the groom, which he offers
to the holy fire. By doing this, the couple seeks the blessings of Agni
that represents the divine power and light of God.

As a part of Paaladaanam custom, the couple seeks the blessings of

the elderly members of the family by touching their feet.

Grihapravesham

After the completion of wedding ceremony, the bride is taken to her

husband's house. Aarti is performed to welcome the newly married
couple, as they stand at the doorstep to enter the home. Thereafter,
a lavish feast is served at the wedding venue, when the newly
wedded couple returns from home.
Reception Party

To facilitate intimacy, the groom's family hosts a reception party in

the evening. People bless the newly weds and convey them their
heartiest wishes. This is the time, when family, friends, relatives and
faraway acquaintances attend the reception party to shower
blessings, gifts and best wishes on the newly married couple.

Tamil Iyengar Brahmin Wedding Rituals

A very large community, the Tamil Iyengars (Ayyangars) are known

for their superior intellect, high levels of education and good looks.
This community is largely based in Tamil Nadu and Karnataka. Being
Brahmins, their wedding rituals are long and elaborate and a typical
wedding can last for four or five days. For most ceremonies two
'pujaris' officiate - one representing the bride's family and the other
the groom's.

There are bound to be variations in the ceremonies and rituals

depending upon the city or state the Iyengars have been living in for
several generations.

Some common surnames: Iyengar, Ayangar, Srinivasan,

Gopalakrishnan, Jagannathan, Ramakrishnan

Vethalepak: Exchange of gifts between the bride and groom

This is a kind of engagement ceremony where the bride and groom

exchange saris, suits and gifts. The bride goes to the groom's home
carrying a platter laden with two silver lamps, a coconut, fruits and
flowers. After the exchange of gifts, she leaves the platter behind
and goes back home.

Pandalkal or Chapra: Blessing the wedding venue

An auspicious beginning to any Iyengar wedding commences with

purifying the marriage 'pandol' (canopy). The 'pandol' is made of
leaves and branches of trees and it is purified by pouring milk,
saffron and 'kumkum' (vermilion) on the base of the bamboo poles
placed at its corners. The purification ritual is performed by a 'pujari'
or any respected elder of the family who is well versed with the
rituals of marriage.

Devar Samardhne: Seeking blessings from deities to keep the

marriage free from any impediments

This ceremony is also known as 'perumal thadhyaradhne' and is a

puja performed on the morning of the wedding day by the bride and
groom separately in their homes. The deities are invoked to bless
the marriage proceedings and keep all the rituals free from
obstacles.

Varapooje or Janwaasam: Heralding the arrival of the groom and

inviting him to the 'mantap'

On the evening prior to the wedding, the first function is 'mapillai

azaizsu' (literally, heralding the arrival of the groom and his party).
The groom and his family are garlanded by members of the bride's
family and are served refreshments and allowed to rest before the
'varapooje' or 'janwaasam' (puja performed to honour the groom).

The groom is ceremoniously led to the marriage 'mantap' and the

pujari reads aloud the 'lagna patrike', announcing to the audience
the antecedents and credentials of both the families.

Nischathartham: Commitment to be married is made and announced

to all

This ceremony is performed as a commitment to the forthcoming

wedding and announced to the community. Five 'sumangalis'
(married ladies) pound a handful of 'urad dal' (lentils) on a dry
grinding stone decorated with flowers, kumkum and turmeric. This is
done symbolically to wish the couple a happy married life.

A room is filled with stainless steel cooking vessels, silverware,

kitchen gadgets, linen, towels and other items the couple would
need to run an efficient home. This display is called 'bidadi mane' by
the Iyengars belonging to Mysore and 'sheer' by the Iyengars from
Chennai. The Chennai Iyengars display the 'sheer' on the morning of
the wedding day.

Nandi or Vratham: Anointing the bride and groom

This ritual is held separately in both homes and usually in the

morning. It is the commencement of all marriage rituals, where the
groom's hair is anointed with oil and he bathes with soap-nut
powder.

The bride goes through a similar ritual in her home and after her
bath, changes into a new sari, wears flowers in her hair and
jewellery and is made to sit down for the 'muth aarthi'- a traditional
'aarthi' performed for her with a lighted 'diya' (lamp), 'kumkum' and
flowers.

Kashiyathre: The groom embarks on a mock pilgrimage

Just before the main wedding ceremony, the groom dresses himself
as a pilgrim by wearing a 'veshti' (simple white dhoti), 'chappals'
(slippers), carries an umbrella, walking stick and makes an attempt
to proceed to Kashi (sacred pilgrimage site in the city of Benaras) to
take 'sanyas' and lead a celibate life!

The bride's father prevails upon him to give up this line of thought
and accept his daughter's hand in marriage instead. After much
cajoling the groom relents and returns to the 'mantap' to be
married!

Oonjal or Sambandhmale: The couple exchange garlands

The groom enters the 'mantap' discarding his pilgrim's 'avatar'

(form) and is garlanded by the bride. He in turn garlands her and
then the couple is seated on a decorated 'jhula' or swing. 'Aarthi' is
performed for them and the bride's father washes the groom's feet.

Piddishuttal: The couple is protected from 'dhrishti' (evil eye)

While the bride and groom are seated on the decorated swing, rice
dipped in turmeric and 'kumkum' are showered on them to drive
away evil. After this they enter the marriage 'mantap'.

Kanyadaan: Giving away the bride

In Chennai, the Iyengars follow the ritual where the bride and
groom hold hands and enter the 'mantap' whereas the Iyengars
from Mysore have a custom where the bride and groom have to hold
the hand of their respective mothers-in-law.

The bride is seated in her father's lap all through the 'kanyadaan'
ceremony. The couple together holds a coconut dipped in turmeric
and the bride's mother pours water onto the coconut. All through the
'kanyadaan', the 'vollagam' (clarinet like instrument) is played
accompanied by the 'tabla' (Indian drum).

Mangalaya Dharane: The groom ties the sacred 'taali' on the bride

The sacred 'taali' (a small inscribed gold ornament, strung on a

yellow thread) is kept on a silver platter along with a piece of
jaggery, rice, a coconut and a heavy nine yard Kanjeevaram sari
which is given by the groom's mother to the bride. This platter is
taken around to all the guests for their blessings.

The bride changes in to the nine-yard sari, wearing it in the 'katche

seera' style and returns to the 'mantap'. Amongst Vedic chants, the
groom ties the first knot of the 'taali' around the bride's neck and his
sisters tie the other two knots.

Akshathe: The couple is blessed with the showering of coloured rice

All the elders present at the wedding are given coloured rice, which
they shower on the couple after the 'mangalaya dharane'. The
bride's mother gives the groom a 'paan' or betel leaf to proclaim her
support of the marriage. The groom slips silver toe-rings on his bride
symbolizing that henceforth he will look after and protect her.

Homa or Havan: Lighting of the sacred fire

The 'pujari' lights the sacred fire in honour of the nine planets and
the gathering keeps the fire ignited by pouring 'ghee' (clarified
butter) into it. The fire is not allowed to go off till all the ceremonies
are completed.

Saptapadi: Seven steps around the sacred fire

The groom's 'shalu' (shawl) is tied to the bride's sari 'pallav' and the
couple takes the seven steps around the fire, repeating their seven
marital vows.

Nagoli Vasthra: The bride's family welcomes the son-in-law into the
family

The bride's family, who present him with a suitcase, new clothes,
and a diamond ring, gives the groom a ceremonial welcome.

Grupravesha: The bride is welcomed into her marital home

On the bride's arrival, an 'aarthi' is performed for her at the doorstep

by her mother-in-law and she takes her first step into her new home
by tipping over a small heap of rice with her right foot. She must
ensure that the rice spills as far as possible, bringing prosperity into
her new home! She is then taken to the family 'puja' room where she
prostrates before the deity and is given a silver or gold coin which
she puts into a silver pot filled with water.

Sambandhi Virandh: Both families exchange gifts

To celebrate the successful completion of the wedding the families

of the bride and groom exchange lavish gifts. These gifts can range
from jewellery, clothes or electronic items - depending on how much
each family is willing to spend.

Reception: Post wedding celebrations

The reception is not mandatory for the Tamil Iyengar community,

though many families do opt for it these days. Friends and relatives
are invited to meet the newly-weds and the families' host a grand
dinner in a hotel or marriage hall.