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Parenting Styles and Children’s Emotional Intelligence: What do We Know?

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DOI: 10.1177/1066480710387486

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Parenting Styles and Children's Emotional Intelligence: What do We Know?

Alberto Alegre
The Family Journal 2011 19: 56
DOI: 10.1177/1066480710387486

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 The Family Journal: Counseling and
Therapy for Couples and Families
Parenting Styles and Children’s 19(1) 56-62
ª The Author(s) 2011
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DOI: 10.1177/1066480710387486
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Alberto Alegre1

Abstract
The theory of emotional intelligence has elicited great interest both in the academic and the nonacademic world. Therapists, educators,
and parents want to know what they can do to help children develop their emotional intelligence. However, most of the research in this
field has investigated adults’ emotional intelligence. This study reviews the scarce research literature in the area of children’s emotional
intelligence. It also reviews the way in which parenting styles and practices predict children’s emotional intelligence in similar or
different ways that they predict other developmental outcomes. Based on the parenting literature, four main dimensions of
parenting are identified that are relevant to the study of emotional intelligence: parental responsiveness, parental positive
demandingness, parental negative demandingness, and parental emotion-related coaching. Parental responsiveness, parental
emotion-related coaching, and parental positive demandingness are related to children’s higher emotional intelligence, while parental
negative demandingness is related to children’s lower emotional intelligence. Additionally, social–emotional intervention programs
used in schools have succeeded in improving children’s emotional skills. Implications for practitioners are discussed.

Keywords
parenting styles, emotional intelligence, parental demandingness, parental coaching

For a long time, many human beings shared the intuition efficient ways. Therefore, almost from the beginning, there was
that intelligent behavior does not always correlate with high a double conceptualization of the term. The situation worsened
intelligence quotient (IQ). This intuition received scientific because of problems in the measurement of the construct.
support when Salovey and Mayer (1990) proposed and scienti- According to Mayer, Salovey, and Caruso (2004), for emo-
fically supported the existence of an emotional intelligence. tional intelligence to be considered a form of intelligence, its mea-
The interest in this new concept skyrocketed when Daniel surement has to show a modest correlation with general
Goleman published his famous book Emotional Intelligence. intelligence. However, most if not all the measurement tools
The fascination is not limited to the general society. It has also developed in the first years of study (including one developed
awakened in the academic community. by Mayer and Salovey themselves) showed very low correlations
Goleman (1995) proposed emotional intelligence as a pre- with general intelligence and instead showed moderate-to-strong
dictor of future success. Although his claim may be exagger- correlations with personality measures (for a review see Mat-
ated, research is confirming the relation between emotional thews, Zeidner, & Roberts, 2004). All of these measurement tools
intelligence and some positive developmental outcomes such were based on self-report questionnaires. A few years later,
as subjective well-being (Gallagher & Vella-Brodrick, 2008), Mayer, Salovey, and Caruso developed an initial ability measure
adaptive coping styles and mental health (Mavroveli, Petrides, of emotional intelligence called the Multifactor Emotional Intel-
Rieffe, & Bakker, 2007), mental ability and positive personal- ligence Scale (MEIS; Mayer & Salovey, 1999), and later, another
ity traits (Van Rooy & Viswesvaran, 2004), academic achieve- more complex ability measure called the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso
ment (Schute et al., 1998), and physical and psychological Emotional Intelligence Test (MESCEIT; reviewed in Mayer, Sal-
health (Tsaousis & Nikolaou, 2005). ovey, & Caruso, & Sitarenios, 2003), which to an extent solved
Initially, emotional intelligence was defined as the ability to
attend to, understand, and regulate emotions to guide thought
and behavior (Salovey & Mayer, 1990). This definition empha- 1
sizes the processing of emotional information. However, East Stroudsburg University, PA, USA
Goleman (1995) proposed a somehow different definition in Corresponding Author:
which processing abilities were mixed with natural or learned Alberto Alegre, PO Box 403, Mount Tabor, NJ 07878, USA
tendencies to react to emotional situations in positive and Email: [email protected]

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Alegre 57

the problems presented by the previous measures. In these new been identified: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and
ability tests, respondents are required to give answers to different neglectful. Authoritative parents use developmentally appro-
emotional tasks. Examples of such tasks are: identifying emotions priate demands, maintain control of children when needed,
in pictures of faces or in photographs, and showing capacity to yet they are responsive, affectionate, and communicate effec-
reason with emotions when confronted with certain stories/vign- tively with their children. Authoritarian parents are highly
ettes. The MEIS and the MESCEIT are tests of maximum perfor- demanding, exercise strong control, and show little affection
mance where responses are later evaluated as right or wrong and do not communicate often. Permissive parents make few
according to their correspondence with the answers of a panel demands, exercise little control, and are very responsive and
of emotion experts or a normative sample of the general popula- affectionate (Walker, 2008). Neglectful or uninvolved parents
tion. Congruent with Mayer and Salovey’s theory, these tests make few demands, exercise little control, show little affec-
show modest correlations with general intelligence, and show tion, and do not communicate often.
weak correlations with personality measures. However, they also Children of authoritative parents have been found to score
show weak correlations with the self-report measures of emo- better than children of authoritarian, uninvolved, and permis-
tional intelligence. sive parents in measures of adjustment (Steinberg, Lamborn,
Because of these results, Petrides and Furnham (2003) have Darling, & Mounts, 1994), attachment (Karavasilis, Doyle, &
proposed two different conceptualizations of emotional intelli- Markiewicz, 2003), resilience (Kritzas & Grobler, 2005),
gence: ability emotional intelligence and trait emotional intelli- school achievement (Boon, 2007), social and school compe-
gence. Ability emotional intelligence refers to the specific tence (Lamborn, Mounts, Steinberg, & Dornbusch, 1991), and
emotional abilities measured with ability tests. The concept is prosocial behavior (Hastings, McShane, & Parker, 2007).
based on Mayer and Salovey’s definition of emotional intelli- Another way in which researchers have been studying
gence as a group of emotional information processing abilities. the art of parenting is through the basic dimensions that com-
Ability emotional intelligence supports its claim of being a pose parenting styles: responsiveness and demandingness
form of intelligence in the relatively moderate correlations with (Baumrind, 1995; Maccoby & Martin, 1983). The term
general intelligence obtained in different studies. responsiveness basically refers to a combination of parental
Trait emotional intelligence refers to emotion-related self- warmth, nurturance, and support. Sometimes the term positive
perceptions and dispositions that are assessed with self-report parenting has been used to describe this same group of respon-
questionnaires. These questionnaires let the respondents evalu- sive parenting practices (Jouriles et al., 2008; Tildesley &
ate their own emotional abilities. Trait emotional intelligence is Andrews, 2008). Parental responsiveness is associated with
considered a personality dimension mainly because of its positive outcomes in children’s development such as higher
relatively high correlations with other personality measures child self-regulation and lower externalizing behavior (Eiden,
(Pérez, Petrides, & Furnham, 2005). Edwards, & Leonard, 2007), higher self-esteem (Rohner,
Emotional intelligence is a conjoint of different abilities, 1990), and better psychological adjustment (Khaleque,
and therefore, it has been presumed that it can be trained and Rohner, & Riaz, 2007).
perfected (Goleman, 1995). Through training, individuals are Parental demandingness seems to be a more complex
expected to develop positive behaviors and establish positive dimension. Some of the parenting practices that integrate this
social relationships (Asher & Rose, 1997; Baron & Parker, construct show correlations with positive developmental out-
2000). Indeed, evidence that intervention positively influences comes, while other parental demanding practices typically
emotional intelligence has appeared already. Bernet (1996) and show correlations with negative or undesirable developmental
Guastello, Guastello, and Hanson (2004) found higher levels of outcomes. Positive responsiveness includes parental practices
emotional intelligence-related abilities in people who had com- such as monitoring and supervision, behavioral control, auton-
pleted psychotherapy. Furthermore, van Dierendonck, Garssen, omy granting, appropriate maturity demands and expectations,
and Visser (2005) significantly enhanced emotional intelli- and inductive discipline (De Clercq, Van Leeuwen, De Fruyt,
gence in subjects that participated in a psychosynthesis-based Van Hiel, & Mervielde, 2008; Sanders, 2008). Those parental
prevention program when compared to a control group. practices have been found to correlate with reduced alcohol
Because emotional intelligence seems to have positive consumption (Mogro-Wilson, 2008), higher academic func-
effects and because it seems to be sensitive to environmental tioning (Wang, Pomerantz, & Chen, 2007), less exposure to
influences, it is important to study how children can develop situations of sexual risk (Baptiste, Tolou-Shams, Miller,
greater emotional intelligence. While abilities can be trained, Mcbride, & Paikoff, 2007), higher life satisfaction (Suldo &
personality dispositions may need more subtle nurturing Huebner, 2004), higher prosocial behavior (Krevans & Gibbs,
through human interaction. For children the most important 1996), and higher confidence (Collins & Barber, 2005).
human interactions happen with their parents. Negative demandingness includes parenting practices
such as psychological control, inconsistent and punitive disci-
pline, and harsh disciplining (Barnett, Deng, Mills-Koonce,
Parenting Styles Willoughby, & Cox, 2008; Barry, Frick, Adler, & Grafeman,
Since Baumrind’s (1966, 1967, 1971) and Maccoby and 2007; Lim, Wood, & Miller, 2008; Shelton & Harold, 2008).
Martin’s (1983) seminal work, four styles of parenting have Those practices have been found to correlate with internalizing

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58 The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families 19(1)

and externalizing problems, lower emotional well-being, per- There are no studies of other parental positive demanding prac-
sonality disorders, lower prosocial behavior, and cognitive tices such as behavioral control, autonomy granting, or appro-
anxiety (Collins & Barber, 2005; Johnson, Cohen, Chen, priate expectations, and children’s emotional intelligence.
Kasen, & Brook, 2006; Knafo & Plomin, 2006; Lengua,
2006; Van Leeuwen & Vermulst, 2004; Wang, Pomerantz, & Negative Parental Demandingness
Chen, 2007).
Punitive discipline has also been found to correlate to chil-
dren’s lower level of emotional understanding (Pears & Moses,
Emotional Intelligence and Parenting 2003) and to lower emotional regulation (for a review see,
Morris, Silk, Steinberg, Myers, & Robinson, 2007). No other
Because parenting styles and practices predict so many studies have addressed the relation between other negative par-
developmental outcomes, it makes sense to believe that they ental demanding practices such as psychological control, or
may also predict children’s emotional intelligence. Despite harsh punishment and children’s emotional intelligence.
the extensive research on parenting styles, no study has yet
investigated their relation to children’s emotional intelli-
gence. However, there is some research on the relation
Parental Emotional Training
between parenting practices and children’s emotional intelli- Confirming the effects of emotional training on adults’ emo-
gence. Additionally, there are three emotional constructs that tional intelligence, parental emotion-related practices have
have been extensively studied (though separately) in relation been found to relate to higher emotional intelligence as well.
to those parenting practices and that can be considered some Martinez-Pons (1999) showed that parental promotion, train-
of the most important dimensions of emotional intelligence: ing, and rewarding of emotionally intelligent behavior, as per-
children’s emotion knowledge, children’s emotion under- ceived by their young adult children, related to the young
standing, and children’s emotion regulation. Emotion know- adults’ higher emotional intelligence. In addition, Gottman,
ledge refers to the ability to accurately perceive and label Katz, and Hooven (1997) found that when parents accept chil-
emotional expressions and situational and behavioral emo- dren’s displays of emotionality and help children to understand
tion cues. Emotion understanding refers to the individual’s them and to use the information of those emotions to behave in
awareness and identification of one’s and others’ emotions. positive and efficient ways, a group of parental practices that
Emotion regulation refers to the ability to handle frustrating, has been termed emotional coaching, children show a higher
stressful, or harmful emotional arousal. Those studies are dis- ability to regulate their emotions. Additionally, parental emo-
cussed hereafter. tion dismissing practices, including minimization, punitive,
and distress parental reactions to children’s display of negative
Responsiveness emotions, have also been negatively related to children’s emo-
tion knowledge (Perlman, Camras, & Pelphrey, 2008). Denham
Bennett, Bendersky, and Lewis (2005), in a study of the and colleagues have also shown that when parents are emotion-
recognition of facial expression, found that parental warmth ally expressive and responsive, their children understand their
is positively related to children’s emotion knowledge. emotions better. When, additionally, parents encourage chil-
Parental warmth has also been found to be linked to children’s dren to express their own emotions and discuss emotional
emotion understanding (Alegre & Benson, 2007; Dunn & events with them, children develop higher emotional compe-
Brown, 1994; Steele, Steele, Croft, & Fonagy, 1999). And a tence (Denham & Grout, 1994; Denham, Mitchell-Copeland,
big group of studies investigating parental expression of Strandberg, Auerbach, & Blair, 1997).
and reactions to children’s expression of emotions have found
consistent relations between parental warmth and emotion
regulation (Eisenberg, Cumberland, & Spinard, 1998; Implications for Practitioners
Eisenberg, & Fabes, 1998; Eisenberg, Fabes, Guthrie, &
Reiser, 2000; Eisenberg et al., 1991; Eisenberg et al., 1999). Research indicates that children’s emotional abilities can be
Finally, in a study of early adolescents, Alegre and Perez improved using specific emotion-related training. Research
(2009) found a positive correlation between parental warmth also indicates the importance of emotional intelligence as a pre-
as reported by the early adolescents and the early adolescents’ dictor of an array of positive developmental outcomes. To date,
emotional intelligence. no clinical interventions have been devised based on emotional
intelligence theory. However, different socioemotional inter-
vention programs used in schools have already shown positive
Parental Positive Demandingness effects. Bierman et al. (2010) studied the Fast Track
In a study of 203 Malaysian secondary school students, Liau, PATHS (Promoting Alternative Thinking Strategies), a
Liau, Teoh, and Liau (2003) found a positive correlation social–emotional learning program that teaches self-control,
between parental monitoring and emotional intelligence. emotional awareness and understanding, peer-related social
Adolescents with higher levels of emotional intelligence, in skills, and social problem solving in order to promote social
turn, showed lower internalizing and externalizing problems. and emotional competence. It is delivered by teachers with

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Alegre 59

support from project staff. They found that the program is by Webster-Stratton and Herman (2010) shows the positive
effective in reducing aggressive behavior and increasing proso- effects of parental training on children’s social and emotional
cial behavior, especially for boys. skills and behavior. Recently, Sheridan, Knoche, Edwards,
Webster-Stratton and Herman (2010) studied the Incredible Bovaird, and Kupzyk (2010), in a study of 200 children and
Years Series, a set of programs based on social cognitive theory their parents participating in the Getting Ready parental
that uses an intervention consisting of 60 socioemotional engagement program have shown that intervention targeting
lessons for children from kindergarten to second grade. They parents can indeed improve children’s socioemotional
also found improvements in children’s problem-solving and competencies.
conflict resolution skills. When the program was combined
with socioemotional lessons for parents and teachers, the
Future Directions
effects were stronger and children also showed less aggressive
behavior, had fewer conduct problems, and had better proso- Clearly, the research on parenting and emotional intelligence is
cial skills. The Strong Kids Social Emotional Learning Pro- still very limited. There is an urgent need for addressing the
grams, another series of programs devoted to teach children relation between parenting styles and emotional intelligence.
from kindergarten to eighth grade social–emotional skills, There is a need to study other parental practices that have been
have also shown improvements in emotional knowledge, shown to be important in children’s development but that have
self-management strategies, and coping strategies. Therefore, not been studied in relation to emotional intelligence. For
we know that certain emotional abilities can be trained, that instance, parental psychological control has been shown to
those emotional abilities result in more positive outcomes for relate to negative outcomes such as emotional eating (van
children, and that appropriate social–emotional training Strien, Snoek, van der Zwaluw, & Engels, 2010), anxiety
results in improvement both of emotional abilities and of symptoms (El-Sheikh, Hinnant, Kelly, & Erath, 2010), and
adaptive behavior. All this accumulated evidence can help depression and delinquency (Barber, 1996). Similarly, harsh
practitioners to introduce systematic social–emotional train- disciplining, parental expectations, inductive discipline, or par-
ing in their practice with children. ent–child joint activity have also been associated to children’s
Unfortunately, there is still very little research on emotional developmental outcomes, but none of those parental practices
intelligence and parenting. The literature does not reveal stud- have been studied in relation to emotional intelligence. Addi-
ies that have examined the relation between authoritative, tionally, most of the few studies addressing parenting and emo-
authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parenting styles and tional intelligence or emotional intelligence dimensions are of
children’s emotional intelligence. Nor are there studies that correlational nature. We need more studies of an experimental
investigate the relation between parenting styles and specific or longitudinal nature that investigate the effects of interven-
emotional abilities such as emotion knowledge, emotion under- tions targeting specific parenting practices on children’s emo-
standing, attention to emotions, or emotion regulation. It is dif- tional intelligence.
ficult to explain the reasons for the lack of research in this area. In conclusion, very little research in the field of parenting
Because the main proponents of emotional intelligence believe and emotional intelligence has been done to date. Further
that emotional intelligence can improve with the appropriate research in this area is urgently needed. However, the review
training, most authors may have been more interested in find- of the available literature already suggests directions that thera-
ing methods that can directly train a specific emotional ability. pist, educators, and parents may want to follow to promote chil-
In addition, because the concept itself is still in its infancy there dren’s emotional intelligence.
may just not have been enough time for this kind of study.
However, some results have started to appear and some con- Declaration of Conflicting Interests
clusions can be reached. For example, the following parental The author declared no conflicts of interest with respect to the author-
practices, parental warmth, parental monitoring, and parental ship and/or publication of this article.
emotional coaching, which seem to promote higher child self-
regulation, lower externalizing behavior, higher self-esteem, and Funding
better psychological adjustment, also correlate positively with The author received no financial support for the research and/or
emotional intelligence or with emotional intelligence dimen- authorship of this article.
sions such as children’s emotion knowledge, children’s emotion
understanding, and emotion regulation. References
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62 The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families 19(1)

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