Bringing Your Shadow Out of The Dark - Robert Augustus Masters Chapter 4 - OUR FEAR

THE EMOTION MOST commonly associated with the popular notion of
shadow is fear.
Moving toward our shadow naturally brings some fear, both personal and
ancestral. If this fear isn�t overpowering, it can fuel our steps. And it�s not
just that we may have some fear of our shadow and what we may come
across there, but we frequently also have fear in our shadow.
This fear is often not completely housed in our shadow. Some of it

usually shows externally, manifesting in plain sight. If we�re feeling anxious
�projecting unpleasant possibilities into our future, mainlining negative
anticipation�we may not be shaking and incoherent but we�re nonetheless
painfully contracted, well out of our comfort zone.
How to Bring Your Fear Out of Your Shadow
Get to know your fear.
Study it, approach it, become more curious about

it, turn on the lights. Get to know it even better. Go for an inside look at
it, paying close attention to all of its qualities, static and otherwise. The
more familiar you are with your fear, the less the chances are of you
letting it control you. For more, please read the chapter on fear in my
book Emotional Intimacy and do the exercises described there.
Get to know its roots.
The expression of your fear might be outside your

shadow, but its origins, its foundational roots, may be in your shadow.
You may, for example, begin with an obvious case of worrying and then
drop below that to an anxiety that has been with you since you were
young. Underlying that may be a survival-based panic that�s anchored in
an even earlier time. Spelunk your depths.
Stop shaming yourself for being afraid.
Everyone has fear, whether they admit it or not. The Dalai Lama has said he
sometimes feels anxious. The more we shame ourselves�and are shamed�for being
afraid, the more our fear will be driven into our shadow. Fear is natural, but what
we do with it may not be so natural, such as when we pathologize it.
Open your heart to the frightened child in you.
Develop as much compassion as possible for the fearful you. (This compassion comes
from the you who is not caught in fear.) Don�t tell that child not to be afraid or
that there�s nothing to be afraid of. Instead, be caring and protective enough to
hold such fearfulness the same way you would a trembling
infant. Remember that as a child you needed not just love but also
protection. Being a good parent to your inner child will decentralize your
fear so that instead of it holding you, you are holding it.
Instead of giving your fear higher walls, give it bigger pastures.

Doing so expands you. This makes more room for your fear to shed some of its
constrictedness and transition into excitement, allowing you more access
to contexts other than that of fearfulness. Fear contracts our breathing,
squeezing and gripping us, as if we�re stuck in a too-small enclosure, unpleasantly
walled in. Giving our fear more room, more space, doesn�t make it worse but rather
spreads out its energies, diluting its intensity and
reducing the pressure.
Think of your fear as excitement in disguise.
Where there�s fear, there�s excitement close by. Make a hard fist, tightly balled
up, and imagine this is your fear. Then relax your hand, letting your fingers
spread wide; this is your excitement, open and available. It�s the same
energy, the same adrenaline, but the context has shifted dramatically. You
weren�t trying to get excited; simply relaxing your fist freed up your
energy. The fear initially is tightly held in the shadows; making conscious
contact with it allows it to begin uncurling, to let some light in.
Keep your anger on tap.
Take advantage of the fact that fear and anger are very closely related, being
basically the same biochemically. Where fear contracts us, anger expands us, for
better or worse. In fear we either tend to flee or freeze; we often feel paralyzed.
But in anger we thrust forward, leaning into what angers us; our energies mobilize
for taking strong stands. Some anger is a mask for fear, but plenty of anger is
fearless fire, flaming through relational deadwood and obstacles to wellbeing,
providing a torch that can illuminate even the darkest corners of our shadow.
Separate the content of your fear from its energy.
When fear gets into our mind, we spin out storylines that can keep us in dark
places internally, thought-cages packed with fearful ideas and expectations. When
this happens, don�t think about your fear. Instead, bring your awareness as fully
as possible to your body. Sense where in your body the energy of
fear is strongest, taking note of the sensations there and their detailing.
Stay with this body awareness, sensing instead of thinking, until you feel
more stability. Soften your belly and chest, feeling how your breathing
moves your entire torso, keeping some awareness on the arrival and
departure of each breath.
Practice courage.
Courage doesn�t mean we�re fearless but that we�re

going ahead regardless of whatever fear we�re feeling. Start with small
acts of courage, doing things that are a bit scary, a bit daunting. This
could mean having a cold shower when you�re feeling overly sluggish, or
saying no to a lunch date with a friend who you know you�ll find draining
to be around today. Honor your everyday courage; sometimes getting out
of bed asks more from us than does parachuting from a plane.
As you practice courage, more and more of your fearfulness will shift
into resolve and action. Some of it may remain, keeping you on your toes.
And some of it may morph into the kind of anger that helps fuel needed
stands. Remember that practicing courage helps immensely in facing and
entering your shadow.
If you�re looking for genuine transformation, you need look no further than
your fear. For in it there exists not only an abundance of trapped energy but
also the very testing and challenge that we need in order to live a deeper,
more authentic life.

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Bringing Your Shadow Out of The Dark - Robert Augustus Masters Chapter 4 - OUR FEAR

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How can one get to know their fear better?

What are some ways to separate the content of one's fear from its energy?

THE EMOTION MOST commonly associated with the popular notion of

This fear is often not completely housed in our shadow. Some of it

How to Bring Your Fear Out of Your Shadow

Get to know your fear.

Study it, approach it, become more curious about

Get to know its roots.

The expression of your fear might be outside your

Stop shaming yourself for being afraid.

Open your heart to the frightened child in you.

Instead of giving your fear higher walls, give it bigger pastures.

Think of your fear as excitement in disguise.

Keep your anger on tap.

Separate the content of your fear from its energy.

Courage doesn�t mean we�re fearless but that we�re

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