The 3-Step

Workday Reset

Conquer overwhelm & overthinking fast – 

so you can get back to delivering results
Remember the game Jenga?
You know it–you stack blocks on top of each other to build a tower. As you remove blocks, the
tower gets unsteady, until it eventually comes toppling down. 

When you're a goal-oriented overachiever, every day can feel a little bit like a game of
Jenga. 

Responsibilities and expectations stack on top of each other. Gradually the pressure chips away at
your ability to focus and deliver results, just like removing Jenga blocks bit-by-bit. You may feel like
you're trying to accomplish it all with a shaky mental and emotional foundation.  

And you're not alone. Here's what others have to say: 

"I want to feel good enough in my job and keep up with the increasing expectations."

"I hold myself to high standards, but have problems managing my workload. I get stuck in shame and
perfectionism instead of taking action."
 
"I want to impress my boss, build trust with my team, and show the best of  me in my job. But trying to
please everyone is becoming too much."

The result? You spiral down into feelings of fear, worry, and self-doubt. You get so caught up in
overthinking and emotional overwhelm that it takes you hours to regain your composure. 

 If any of this sounds familiar, don't worry, you're in the right place. 

This guide will show you 3 steps you can take anytime you feel overwhelmed to regain control
of your day and get back to what you do best––delivering results. By the end, you'll have an
action plan to pull yourself out of overthinking and overwhelm in minutes, not hours. 

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 Ready to get started?

Here's what you'll need:

A pen or pencil 

A journal, blank Word Doc, or print out the included worksheets

10 minutes of time to yourself  (at your desk, on a bench outside the office, etc) 

Optional: A cup of coffee, tea, or green juice (whatever beverage helps you feel calm and comforted) 

That's it, seriously! Sound too simple? Just hang in there. Us high achievers like to overcomplicate things,
but I promise this process is both simple and powerful. 

Oh, and by the way, it takes courage to face your fears and change what's not working. You're here
because you made a decision to put an end to reactions holding you back from your full potential.
Because you’re willing to break down unhelpful thoughts, patterns, and behaviors that are keeping you
stuck. Instead, you’re ready for a lasting, balanced feeling of fulfillment.  

Without further ado, let's dive in!

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 When you do nothing, you feel
overwhelmed and powerless. But when you
get involved, you feel the sense of hope
and accomplishment that comes from
knowing you are working to make
things better.

Maya Angelou

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The 3-Step Workday Reset

Step 1: Down-shift your body

Step 2: Drain your brain

Step 3: Decide on an action 

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 Step One // Down-shift your body 
Most self-improvement advice says recognizing your thoughts and feelings is the first step to calming down.
But you've probably found that this isn't true for you. At all.

In fact, if you're anything like me, you find that the more you focus on the worries, and judgements
rushing through your mind, the more anxious and stressed out you become. 

For that reason, you need to approach conquering overwhelm differently. In your case, your first task isn’t
gaining greater awareness of your emotions; it’s to bring your mental and physical state down from
overdrive, back to baseline.

So, how exactly do you dial down the intensity of your stress reactions? 

A simple way to stabilize your physical state when you feel emotionally overwhelmed is with a
mindfulness skill called grounding. Grounding techniques help you de-escalate your emotional reactions
and physically calm down your nervous system. As a result, grounding helps lower the volume on the
negative chatter going on within your mind as well.

Find Relief in 5-4-3-2-1

Getting back to a feeling calm and peaceful may be as easy as remembering to feel the earth below
your feet, according to recent research. In a 2011 study, researchers found that coming in contact
with the earth significantly reduce signs of stress. Literally grounding to the earth influenced study
participants’ biophysiology, reducing heart rate and balancing their nervous system.

The researchers suggest going barefoot for 20 minutes a day to see the benefits, but since most
people can’t walk around without shoes during the workday or sneak out of a meeting to find a
patch of grass, one the next page you'll find a similar grounding exercise you can try whether you're
at work or at home. 

It's designed to engage all five senses and helps bring your attention back to the present moment.
This exercise is one of my favorites (and very effective) because it moves you from being overly
internally focused, and hooked by your emotions. Instead this grounding technique shifts your focus
towards external cues, taking you out of your own head. 

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 Step One // Down-shift your body 

Find Relief in 5-4-3-2-1

Select FIVE things you see around you. Describe them in detail. Maybe it’s a white notepad or
perhaps a spot on the ceiling.

Pick FOUR things you can touch or feel around you, such as your tongue in your mouth, your
hands in your lap, or your computer keyboard.

Notice THREE things you hear. Listen for sounds going on around you. You might attune to the
ringing of a phone or the hum of an air conditioner, for example.

Identify TWO things you can smell. If you can’t smell anything, name your two favorite scents.

  

Name ONE thing you can taste. It might be the lingering taste of coffee, gum, or a mint after lunch.

Finally, take a deep breath and notice how your physical state has shifted. How has your body
changed? Do your shoulders feel less tense, for instance? Notice any new shifts in your thoughts as
well. Hopefully you're already beginning to feel more clearheaded, calm, and ready to objectively
explore the thoughts and feelings causing you distress.

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly
trying to make you something else
is the greatest accomplishment.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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 Step Two // Drain your brain 

Now that you've calmed down your physical state, it's time to tackle what's going on inside your head.   

You probably tend towards keeping these thoughts and feelings inside –– you keep your head down, try to
focus on work, and don't want to be perceived as weak or too sensitive. But this approach frequently
backfires. It can lead to distraction, resentment, and indecision. That’s why finding a proper release to help
you cope with your naturally powerful and intense emotions is so critical.

In the long run, it can save time to express your distressing reactions upfront before they build up and block
you from being productive, reaching your goals, and enjoying your success.

When you release distressing emotions, you free up space and energy for more fulfilling things.
One healthy coping skill is emotional release writing. Free writing about overwhelming emotions is a
remarkably effective means of creating clarity and regaining perspective. It helps you organize your swirling
range of inner reactions and make sense of it all in a more productive way. 

Before we get to the exercise, a few things to keep in mind...

 • Resist the urge to insist that you “shouldn’t” be feeling or reacting a certain way. Let go
of the struggle. Don’t tell yourself that you’re wrong, broken, or suck because you’re getting
upset. Assure yourself that it’s okay and that all feelings are natural and will pass. Remind yourself
that emotions are not orders–they are simply mental and physical reactions to something
happening in your environment. More importantly, you have the power to choose your actions
and how you respond.

 • Play the observer. Put separation between you and the emotion itself. For example, “I’m angry”
becomes “I’m having the feeling that I’m angry” or “I notice that I’m having the emotion of
anger”. This simple language tweak creates distance between you and your mind.

• Release judgement. High achievers tend to be self-critical when they experience unpleasant

emotions. Notice when you fall into the trap of judging your emotions as “helpful” or “unhelpful”,
“positive” or “negative”, or “fair” and “unfair”. Practice accepting all your emotions for what they
are–private experiences that give you important information.

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 Step Two // Drain your brain 
Release writing exercise

Grab your notebook, pop open a fresh Word doc, or print this page to use as a worksheet. For 5 minutes,
write about what you’re feeling overwhelmed about. Journal in response to the specific emotions you feel,
like:  I feel demoralized because... I feel jealous because…I feel panicky because…

Proper grammar and punctuation are not important. Don’t edit or censor yourself. Keep going until you
feel the overwhelm subsiding and you feel like your writing is complete. If you're more of a verbal
processor, you can instead speak in a stream of consciousness style into a audio app on your phone.

The goal of this practice isn't to solve your problems yet (we'll do that next), but to explore them– to stop
them from bouncing around inside your head and distracting you. 

I feel ____ because....

Getting what's bothering you out of your heart and head and on to the paper may provide you nearly
instant relief. It helps you let go of and drop unhelpful emotions, instead of attaching to them. You may
find that unhelpful emotions lose power over you. If not, don't despair. You can also try getting perspective
from a likeminded group, such as our Smart, Sane, and Successful Community members. 

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Life is tough my darling,
but so are you.
Stephanie Bennett Henry

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 Step Three // Decide on an action
Once you’ve worked through your physical and mental reactions to your emotions, the final step is to
address your behavior. One way to handle intense emotions is through the principle “opposite action”.

This psychology principle encourages us to accept and work with our emotions, rather than deny them.
“Opposite action” is exactly what it sounds like. It involves redirecting intense emotions to healthier
behavior by doing the opposite of what our emotion tells us to do.

Let’s take an example of getting negative feedback: 

Identify the urge associated with the emotions you’re experiencing. Let’s say you tend to feel crushed
when your boss gives you constructive feedback about how your presentation could be improved. What
1
comes up for you as you recall times other times in your life when you typically experienced strong feelings
of disappointment? What actions or urges did you find yourself experiencing? It’s likely that you felt the
urge to run or hide. Maybe you locked yourself in your bedroom for hours to cry after getting a bad grade
on a school report. As an adult, maybe you have the same urge to hide and retreat when you get negative
feedback now.  

Decide whether the urge fits the situation. Your urge to withdraw in the face of feeling disappoint could
2 you lead you to avoid interacting with your boss. Maybe you contemplate ducking into a conference room
the next time you see her coming down the hallway or think about working from home for a few days in
order to recoup from the setback. Consider if either of those actions would really be in your best interest.

If the urge doesn’t fit the situation or move you closer to your goals, then take opposite action. Put
simply, do the reverse of what you feel. I coach my clients to brainstorm 3 alternative actions. The first is
3
typically a fear-driven response, but you'll find they become less extreme because you are re-engaging your
prefrontal cortex (brain area responsible for self-control and high-level thinking). The 3rd option is usually
the most emotionally balanced – and will leave you with the highest sense of satisfaction and contentment.  

                                 

For example, maybe the first action you think of taking is buckling down to make the changes to your
presentation. This is a good start, but diving head-first into work can be just another avoidance strategy. It does
nothing to help you process the intense emotions you feel.

Let’s say as a second option you consider talking to a friend or seeking out a mentor. Again, it shows great
effort, but can your friend or an outside party really help you solve the issue? It’s best to take action on your
third option, speaking directly with your boss, so that you can get clarity on the feedback she gave you.

Not only will you get the direction you need, but you’ll also feel empowered and more confident as a result of
working through your intense emotions in a productive way that’s aligned with your goals and values.  

Ready to decide on the action you'll take? Use the worksheet on the next page to help you. 

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 Step Three // Decide on an action

Picking the best next action

When I feel ____ my urge or tendency is to....

Would acting on this urge or tendency be helpful right now?

Why or why not? 

Three alternative actions I can take are...

1. 

2. 

3.

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 Overwhelm and Overthinking – averted.
That's it!

Now you have a simple, fast game plan to get back on track when the pressure of your career and your
own high standards threaten to take you off course.

So don't forget....

The next time you feel like your workload and expectations are mounting like a shaky Jenga tower, go
back to the 3 steps to reset yourself: 

1. Down-shift your body

2. Drain your brain
3. Decide on an action 

JOIN THE COMMUNITY 13

 Enjoyed this?
Then join us in the Smart, Sane, & Successful Community! 

This guide was born out of a need I heard from the thousands of smart, ambitious
humans in my audience and from hundreds of my coaching clients. 

I believe the tools and strategies in this guide will help you take back control of your
workday from stress and overwhelm. 
But to get the life-changing stuff, you've got to join us in the Facebook Group! 

You've already taken the first step, so why not join a community of ambitious,
likeminded high achievers who can also help you reach your potential? 

Click here to access the private Facebook Group now. 

With love

& gratitude -

MELODYWILDING.COM 14
The information in this guide is for educational and informational purposes only. It
is being provided to you as a self-help tool for your own uses. It is not legal,
medical, or mental health care advice. This information is to be used at your own
risk based on your own judgement. 

This guide cannot be reproduced without permission.

For my full disclaimer, please visit: melodywilding.com/legal-disclaimer

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