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GUIDE
THE BIG
BODACIOUS
GOAL
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What is a
Big Bodacious Goal?
A BIG BODACIOUS GOAL (BBG) IS A GOAL THAT MEETS
THE FOLLOWING CRITERIA.

1 IT’S EXCITING.
Pursuing this goal feels stimulating,
challenging, and thrilling. Having this
goal in your life makes you feel more
alive. When you imagine accomplish
ing this goal, your whole body goes,
“Yesssssss! I want that.”

2 IT’S BIG.
Big enough to provide a significant
emotional pay-off once you
accomplish it.

Crossing the finish line is a big deal. It’s

not like, “Oh, whatever, yeah, no prob.”
It’s like: “Whoa! What???!! I actually did
it! I’m so proud of myself!”

3 BUT NOT A FANTASY

I would like to dance as the Sugar Plum
Fairy in the New York City Ballet (while
never having done a plié). I would like
to perform With or Without You at
Giant Stadium as Bono... Um, these
are not actual goals, people.

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4 IT CHANGES YOU. For instance, if your top values are

spontaneity, fun, being available for
As you pursue your BBG, you quality time with kids/family, energy,
experience a shift in identity. You grow. and vitality, then your BBG should be
You change. aligned with these values.

You become someone who never This means pursuing your BBG should
struggles with her weight. Or someone bring more—not less—of these qualities
who loves to exercise. Or is a morning into your life.
person. You might even acquire a new
credential/title that’s yours to keep for This is crucial because when your BBG is
the rest of your life. aligned with your top values, then you're
willing to dig deep to accomplish it. The
For instance, if your BBG is to complete motivation comes from within. But when
an Ironman Triathlon, and you achieve your BBG is not aligned with your values,
this goal, then you are an Ironman for than you feel stuck, stalled, and apathetic,
the rest of your life. Permanent identity you struggle to get things moving, or you
shift. just can't convince yourself to work on
your goal consistently.
5 IT’S ALIGNED WITH YOUR
TOP VALUES.
Your BBG should be aligned with one,
two, or more of your top values.

Purpose Of This Workbook

THE PURPOSE OF THIS WORKBOOK IS TO HELP YOU...

Create a realistic
strategic plan
for accomplishing
Choose a this goal Actually. Achieve.
Big Bodacious Goal. Your. Goal.
(...which means anticipating
things that might go wrong
and planning ahead.)

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STEP 1

What Do You Want?

WRITE DOWN 10 THINGS THAT YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE.

This list can include things related to your personal life, professional life, health,
relationships, family, kids, home, style, money, freedom, travel, vacations, anything
that arises in your mind. Anything that’s been floating around in your head lately—
anything you want, crave, desire, yearn for, dream about—write it down.

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________

6. _____________________________________________________________

7. _____________________________________________________________

8. _____________________________________________________________

9. _____________________________________________________________

10. ____________________________________________________________

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The Benefit Of Being

Big And Bodacious
One of the first things that happens when we set any goal is that
the brain balks and begins to remind us why doing this is a terrible
idea and won’t really happen.
Often, at this point, we tell ourselves to “be reasonable” and start to scale back the goal
aaaand scale back the goal until it’s not really worth doing anyway. We make no progress
and, understandably, feel defeated.

This is the reason many of us avoid setting goals. We don’t want to be disappointed in
ourselves because we know we won’t follow through.

But, this time I want you to think of your goal a little differently. I want you to pick the
biggest and most bodacious goal you put on your list. A goal impossible enough that you
know already that you’ll fail at it. Say what?! Yes. Fail.

Wait, if you know you are going to fail, why in the world would you do it?

Because the alternative is also failing. Most of us just fail ahead of time. We dream about
doing something and then defeating ourselves before we even give it a solid effort (or any
effort at all)! We think this type of failure is better because “nothing lost”. But that is total
bullshit.

Not doing something Even though we think that if we don’t try, we can’t
fail. Failing ahead of time is failure, but you learn
because you might fail nothing and stunt your evolution and development
is just failing in advance. as an adult.

You are losing out on learning. If you think about it, failing repeatedly is how we
You are losing out on growing. accomplish most great things. But this year, that’s
You have no idea what your lost not the point. I’m encouraging you to fail for the
opportunity could have been. sake of learning how to fail and learning from failure.

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You never know where your failures might lead you.

But your preemptive failures are guaranteed to lead you nowhere. They will just have
you living in groundhog’s day believing your excuses—excuses that will give you ample
evidence for why you can’t make any progress.

This year let your mantra be: I’m willing to fail trying and giving it
everything I’ve got.
When you set a goal, and go after it with a willingness to fail, you will gain enormous
wisdom, experience, understanding, and self-knowledge. These are the strategic
by-products that often are more valuable than achieving the goal itself.

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STEP 2

Choose One and

ONLY One Goal
The job of a BBG is to grow you. If you attempt any one of your 10 goals, in a year, you
will be a radically different version of yourself. Why? Because the person you are right
now can’t accomplish this goal. And, underneath the optimism and enthusiasm, you are
keenly aware of this fact. This goal will require you to completely change who you are
being—what you think, feel, and do—in order to move it from fantasy to possibility.

But before you go all-in with this goal and start charging towards it, first, and let’s see
if this goal is strongly aligned with your values. If you want to stay motivated for the long
haul, you need to make sure it’s a bona fide intrinsically motivated goal (i.e. it’s a
“want to” not a “should do, but don’t really want to”).

Here’s one way to check this out.

WHAT ARE YOUR VITAL VALUES?

Values are things that really matter to you—qualities you already have (or aspire to have),
the type of person you want to be. For instance, one person’s top values might be: To be
optimistic, authentic, generous, loving, and spiritually plugged in.

Write your top values here.

1. ____________________________ 6. ______________________________

2. ___________________________ 7. ______________________________

3. ___________________________ 8. ______________________________

4. ___________________________ 9. ______________________________

5. ___________________________ 10. _____________________________

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FILL OUT THE FOLLOWING PHRASES:

I really want…(choose something from your list of 10 goals and re-write it here)

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This goal is strongly aligned with my top values because…

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MY BIG BODACIOUS GOAL

STATE YOUR BBG:

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

I WILL COMPLETE IT ON: I WILL KNOW I HAVE COMPLETED IT WHEN:

_______________________ ___________________________________

___________________________________

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STEP 3

Let Your Brain Freak Out

Research from Gabriele Oettingen, professor of psychology at New York University,
shows that if you have an excessively optimistic attitude about your goal (“It’s going to
be so awesome! I got this! I’m a star! ‘Cause I slay all day!”) then you are actually less likely
to succeed.

On the other hand, if you have a realistic attitude about your goal (“This is going to feel
really hard, at times. I’ll probably encounter many challenges along the way. I’ll probably
want to quit, but I’m tough and I’m gonna hang in there.”) then you are more likely to suc-
ceed.

In fact, Oettingen followed women in a weight loss program for a year. What she found
was quite surprising. The women who just focused on their positive weight loss outcome—
um, you know… staring at your gorgeous vision board—lost an average of 24lbs less than
the women who focused on both the positive outcome and the very real obstacles to that
positive outcome. The women who were realistic about how much they would want to eat
the birthday cake in the office snack room and then created a plan to deal with it, were far
more successful.

Think about pursuing your big bodacious goal, whatever it may be—finishing a 50k
ultra running race. Starting a non-profit. Writing a novel. Losing forty pounds.
Getting your master’s degree. Whatever it is.

You’ve got the big bodacious vision.

Now, it's time for some realism. No, actually pessimism.

Try to anticipate everything that might go wrong as you pursue your big bodacious goal.
Things that might feel scary, unpleasant, uncomfortable, difficult, tedious, annoying.
Things that might derail you.

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YOUR TURN TO FREAK OUT!

Write down a list of reasons why you think this goal is impossible.

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STEP 4

Let Your Future Self

Take The Reins
Now, I want you to think of someone who could accomplish this goal (p.s. this will be you
in the future!). Think of someone who has already accomplished it or someone who, if they
stepped into your life right now, could get it done.

What qualities do they have that you need to develop?

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How do they think differently than you?

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What do they do that is different than what you do?

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What type of person do you need to become to accomplish this Big Bodacious Goal?

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Now, as you embody this new version of yourself, fast forward to your future and become
this future self who has accomplished this goal. Go back through the bitch sesh a few
pages back and ask your future self how to you overcame each of these obstacles.

Write the strategy for each one. (Take your time with this, go through each obstacle, and
have a clear plan for how it can be overcome.)

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NOW YOUR TURN:

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STEP 5

Mindware Update
WHAT DO YOU NEED TO THINK?

People often wonder, “What do I need to DO to achieve my goal?”

A better question is, “What do I need to THINK to achieve my goal?”

Your thoughts generate emotions, and then emotions generate actions, and then actions
lead to the outcomes you want.

To propel yourself into action (for instance: clicking “send” on that client proposal,
showing up at the gym for your workout, choosing a veggie omelet instead of a donut,
counting to ten instead of yelling at your spouse) it all starts by cultivating the right
kinds of thoughts in your mind.

Just like you need a strategy to win a game of chess, you need a mental strategy to
generate thoughts that lead to “wins” throughout your day.

So, imagine you’ve hit an obstacle with your goal. Your motivation is withering. You feel
like stalling, postponing (“I’ll just do it tomorrow”) or giving up all together. It just feels
too hard.

What do you need to think in that moment?

What’s a specific phrase you can say to yourself to generate some new emotions—
emotions like determination, grit, strength, confidence, focus, hope—emotions that will
get you back on track with your goal?

Write down some thoughts/phrases that might work for you:

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If you need some examples, here are some of my personal favorites:

+ This isn’t fun, but I’m going to feel so + A tiny bit of discomfort now means a
much relief once it’s done. huge victory later.

+ This is uncomfortable, but I only have + Even when I’m telling myself I don’t
to do three minutes. I can do anything want to do it…I want to do it.
for three minutes.
+ If I do [difficult task] right now, then I
+ This is taking longer than I hoped, but can celebrate by doing [fun reward]
I’m gritty and tough, and I’m going to later today!
hang in there.
+ I want to be [top value] type of
+ This really matters to me. It’s worth person, and by doing this, I get to be
the effort. that type of person.

+ My only job is to not give up. + This is the part when….

- it feels so hard.
+ Putting this off until tomorrow won’t - I want to quit.
help me feel better. If anything, I’ll feel - I feel so frustrated.
worse. Doing this right now is a beautiful - I want to cry.
gift to myself.

Or try some humor!

+ Good lordy! My brain is being so stubborn like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“Settle down, little lady. Mama knows best.”

+ Remember, the magic of a goal is that it grows you! So, just like parenting a
preschooler at bedtime, you want to tell your mind what you’re doing, more than you
want to listen to your mind try to convince you otherwise.

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Accomplishing A Big
Bodacious Goal
TO RECAP:

What is the path to accomplishing a big bodacious goal?

Think Optimistically: You start with excitement, optimism, even euphoria. “This this is going
to be amaaaaazing! I want this so badly!”

Think Pessimistically: Then you anticipate everything that might go wrong. By anticipating
challenges and planning ahead, you set yourself up for success.

Think Effectively: And of course, you need a mental strategy. When things get tough, what
will you say to yourself in those moments? When you just don’t feel like doing the things
you know you need to do, what’s a specific thought that will help get you back on track?

JUST BECAUSE IT HASN’T HAPPENED YET…DOESN’T MEAN IT WON’T.

Just because you’ve never run more than 10 miles doesn’t mean you can’t run 30.

Just because you’ve never written a book before doesn’t mean you can’t.

Just because you’ve never made more than six figures before doesn’t mean you can’t.

Big bodacious goals can be accomplished.

The only thing stopping you (really) is that wonderful (and sometimes very annoying)
gob of 100 billion neurons that sits between your ears, behind your eyes, inside your skull:
your brain.

As you learn to “mind your mind” and manage your thoughts effectively, you’ll move
closer and closer to your big bodacious victory.

We’ll get there together.

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About the Author

Dr. Sasha Heinz, a Ph.D., and Barbara affluent and low-

positive psychologist, Fredrickson, Ph.D. Not income adolescents.
has studied under only did they pioneer She has a Bachelor
and taught alongside the psychological study of Arts from Harvard
some of the most of happiness, but made University, a Masters
influential and innovative terms like “flow” and in Applied Positive
psychologists in the field “grit” a part of our Psychology (MAPP)
of Positive Psychology, colloquial vocabulary. from the University of
including: Martin Dr. Sasha Heinz's Pennsylvania, and a
Seligman, Ph.D., Mihaly research at Columbia PhD in Developmental
Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D., with Dr. Suniya Luthar Psychology from
Angela Duckworth, focused on the Columbia University.
Ph.D., Barry Schwartz, developmental
Ph.D., Jonathan Haidt, outcomes of both

You can catch more of Dr. Sashe Heinz's advice on Career Contessa's podcast, The Femails, and blog.

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