Mixtape Memoir

(2016-present)

By: Jennah Chu

 The Mixtape

2016: Headphones

2017: Merry Go Round of Life

2018: Loveless Shadows

2019: lalala

2020: 7 Rings
 Headphones
2016

She gave it her best

She tried to fit in
She tried to be cool
But she never could win
Her mom says she's great
The kids think she's weird

My sister and I never really got along for the

majority of our lives, but despite all that we still kept each
other company. One of our favorite things to do together is
to jam out to different songs in her room. We would dance,
sing along, and just be our crazy selves; it was a lot of fun.
We called these moments: sister bonding times. The one
song in particular that we both related to was
“Headphones” because of how socially awkward we were
at the time and how, like most kids, we tried to fit in with
the rest.

Why you try, try to be like the rest of them

When you know there's so much more within
There's only one you
Here's what you gotta do

Whoa, whoa
Anytime you feel alone, put on your headphones
Love, love's coming through your headphones

The thing I love the most about my sister is that she always helps me overcome my fears,
anxieties, and loneliness. The one thing I learned while being with my sister is that despite our
quarrels, we will always be sisters and have each other’s backs through think and thin.
 Merry Go Round of Life
2017

The morning of my 8th grade ceremony my mom

and I drove to her brother’s house so his wife, my
Auntie Anne, could do my hair and makeup. I
remember arriving there and being super excited to get
my hair curled and makeup applied on my face, for this
was a special occasion.

Despite being excited I was extremely nervous

because this was my first time attending a graduation
ceremony that involved myself. My old school never
provided my 6th grade class with a fancy ceremony or
such so I never got to experience one. I can recall
telling myself to not screw up and accidently trip down
the aisle.

While my aunt was sectioning and curling my

hair, I asked my mom if I could borrow her phone
because I didn’t have a phone at the time. I needed
something to distract myself from my nervousness, so I
tried watching a couple of YouTube videos, which
didn’t really help.

The one video I watched that helped me calm my nerves and relax a bit was the song
“Merry Go Round of Life” from one of my favorite Ghibli Studio films, Howl’s Moving Castle.
I really liked the instrumentals in this song and it just put me in a much better mood overall. This
type of song proves that not all songs need lyrics to remind one of a moment.
 Loveless Shadows
2018

When my ex broke up with me the day before my sophomore orientation, I was

devastated. I’ve tried hard to forget about the whole thing, but I could never really forget the pain
I felt and how hurt I was. He was my first love and the breakup was something so unexpected to
me, like I didn’t think it would happen. I remember thinking that it was all a dream and when I
woke up everything would be fine and back to normal, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t a dream, and it
was for real.

After allowing the truth to sink in, I balled my eyes out for a good two weeks. I
remember that it was hard for me to sleep some nights because all I would do was quietly sob
alone in my room. Different thoughts raced my mind was it regret, sadness, anger, resentment? I
don’t remember. All I remembered was that I wanted to disappear and continue crying.

I realized that experiencing countless sleepless nights was unhealthy and that I should
find a to help me go to sleep earlier. The sleepless nights hadn’t left a good complexion on my
face and on top of all that it was affecting my performance at school. It wasn’t long when I
discovered a new genre of music: lo-fi.

Lo-fi hit differently from the music that I used to listen to, and it was just so relaxing and
calming. I loved the fact that it was known to not have too much lyrics, which helped me sleep.
One of the first lo-fi albums I that I listened to was “Loveless Shadows” by City Girl. My
favorite song from that album is “Loveless Shadows”, hence the name of the album itself. The
lyrics was short and sweet, and it allowed me to reflect a lot on what happened and heal from the
pain.

Loveless shadows
In endless toil
Keep on wanting to describe what this love means

I think that the term “loveless shadows” means something, or in my case,

someone who doesn’t really love you and can easily disappear despite the endless amount of
time and effort you put for them. I wondered what I really meant to that person because if he
really loved me then why was it so easy for him to throw everything away?
 lalala
2019

During summer 2019 my family and I visited the Philippines. One of the places we went
to was my mom’s hometown, Dumaguete. We visited her best guy friend, Tito Alvin, who on
our first night brought us to a pasta restaurant because he heard that my sister and I loved pasta.
My sister and I shared a plate of one of our favorite pasta, bacon alfredo. While we were eating, I
was watching YouTube and I happened to stumble across the song “lalala” which intrigued me.

“Hey Jade, I found your new

favorite song,” I said jokingly.

“What? I’m trying to eat my

pasta,” my sister said.

Surprisingly it was a song

both my sister and I could jam to
which was super funny because we
started dancing at the restaurant. My
mom scolded us for embarrassing her
in front of her friend, but my Tito
Alvin just laughed at us.

“You two are so funny,” Tito Alvin said between laughing.

We continued playing the song even after we finished dinner and returned back to our
hotel. It was fun being stupid with my sister and repeating the following lyrics with weird voices:

Did I really just forget that melody?

Naw, na, na, banana-na-na
Alright, da, da da-da-da-da

I love how my sister never misses an opportunity to be funny and weird with me. Times
like this will always crack me up and bring a smile to my face.
 7 Rings
2020

I first met one of my best friends, Erika, through my sister who was classmates with her.
Despite the four-year age difference, we three shared a lot of things in common like our love for
Minecraft, aesthetically pleasing objects, and trendy clothes. Fortunately, she was also our
neighbor, so we usually hung out a lot and had many fun sleepovers.

One of the most memorable sleepovers was when I taught Erika and my sister how to
play poker. Poker is one of our favorite games to play in sleepovers and it wasn’t long before we
later got addicted to it. I learned how to shuffle with Erika because we wanted to be able to do
cool card tricks one night. Although we struggled at it at first, we eventually got better where we
were able to teach my sister, who still needs some practicing.

The majority of the songs we listened to during our sleepovers were all by Ariana Grande
since she was Erika’s favorite singer. I personally was really a fan of Ariana Grande until Erika
introduced me to some of her songs, which surprisingly I enjoyed. One of my favorites was “7
Rings” because of how much we would all sing the lyrics together and have fun with it.

I want it, I got it, I want it, I got it

I want it, I got it, I want it, I got it
You like my hair? Gee, thanks, just bought it
I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it