7 Habits of Highly Effective People Summary

Author: Stephen Covey

By Anum Hussain

Covey believes the way we see the world is entirely based on our own
perceptions. In order to change a given situation, we must change
ourselves, and in order to change ourselves, we must be able to
change our perceptions.

In studying over 200 years of literature on the concept of "success,"

Covey identified a very important change in the way that humans have
defined success over time.

In earlier times, the foundation of success rested upon character ethic

(things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice,
patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule). But
starting around the 1920s, the way people viewed success shifted to
what Covey calls "personality ethic" (where success is a function of
personality, public image, attitudes, and behaviors).

These days, people look for quick fixes. They see a successful person,
team, or organization and ask, "How do you do it? Teach me your
techniques!" But these "shortcuts" that we look for, hoping to save
time and effort and still achieve the desired result, are simply band-
aids that will yield short-term solutions. They don't address the
underlying condition.

"The way we see the problem is the problem," Covey writes. We must
allow ourselves to undergo paradigm shifts -- to change ourselves
fundamentally and not just alter our attitudes and behaviors on the
surface level -- in order to achieve true change.
 That's where the seven habits of highly effective people come in:

 Habits 1, 2, and 3 are focused on self-mastery and

moving from dependence to independence.
 Habits 4, 5, and 6 are focused on developing
teamwork, collaboration, and communication skills, and
moving from independence to interdependence.
 Habit 7 is focused on continuous growth and
improvement and embodies all the other habits.
1. Be Proactive
Quick Summary:

We're in charge. We choose the scripts by which to live our lives. Use
this self-awareness to be proactive and take responsibility for your
choices.

The first habit that Covey discusses is being proactive. What

distinguishes us as humans from all other animals is our inherent
ability to examine our own character, to decide how to view ourselves
and our situations, and to control our own effectiveness.

Put simply, in order to be effective one must be proactive.

Reactive people take a passive stance -- they believe the world is

happening to them. They say things like:

 "There's nothing I can do."

 "That's just the way I am."

They think the problem is "out there" -- but that thought is the problem.
Reactivity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and reactive people feel
increasingly victimized and out of control.
Proactive people, however, recognize they have responsibility -- or
"response-ability," which Covey defines as the ability to choose how
you will respond to a given stimulus or situation.

In order to be proactive, we must focus on the Circle of Influence that

lies within our Circle of Concern-- in other words, we must work on the
things we can do something about.

The positive energy we exert will cause our Circle of Influence to

expand.

Reactive people, on the other hand, focus on things that are in their
Circle of Concern but not in their Circle of Influence, which leads to
blaming external factors, emanating negative energy, and causing
their Circle of Influence to shrink.
Key Lessons:

Challenge yourself to test the principle of proactivity by doing the

following:

1. Start replacing reactive language with proactive language.

Reactive = "He makes me so mad."
Proactive = "I control my own feelings."
2. Convert reactive tasks into proactive ones.
2. Begin with the End in Mind
Quick Summary:

Start with a clear destination in mind. Covey says we can use our
imagination to develop a vision of what we want to become and use
our conscience to decide what values will guide us.

Most of us find it rather easy to busy ourselves. We work hard to

achieve victories -- promotions, higher income, more recognition. But
we don't often stop to evaluate the meaning behind this busyness,
behind these victories -- we don't ask ourselves if these things that we
focus on so intently are what really matter to us.

Habit 2 suggests that, in everything we do, we should begin with the

end in mind. Start with a clear destination. That way, we can make
sure the steps we're taking are in the right direction.
Covey emphasizes that our self-awareness empowers us to shape our
own lives, instead of living our lives by default or based on the
standards or preferences of others.

Beginning with the end in mind is also extremely important for

businesses. Being a manager is about optimizing for efficiency. But
being a leader is about setting the right strategic vision for your
organization in the first place, and asking, "What are we trying to
accomplish?"

Before we as individuals or organizations can start setting and

achieving goals, we must be able to identify our values. This process
may involve some rescripting to be able to assert our own personal
values.

Rescripting, Covey explains, is recognizing ineffective scripts that

have been written for you, and changing those scripts by proactively
writing new ones that are built of your own values.
It is also important to identify our center. Whatever is at the center of
our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and
power.

Our centers affect us fundamentally -- they determine our daily

decisions, actions, and motivations, as well as our interpretation of
events.
However, Covey notes that none of these centers are optimal and that
instead, we should strive to be principle-centered. We should identify
the timeless, unchanging principles by which we must live our lives.
This will give us the guidance that we need to align our behaviors with
our beliefs and values.

Key Lessons:

Challenge yourself to test the principle of beginning with the end in

mind by doing the following:

1. Visualize in rich detail your own funeral. Who is there? What are

they saying about you? About how you lived your life? About the
relationships you had? What do you want them to say? Think about
how your priorities would change if you only had 30 more days to live.
Start living by these priorities.
2. Break down different roles in your life -- whether professional,
personal, or community -- and list three to five goals you want to
achieve for each.
3. Define what scares you. Public speaking? Critical feedback after
writing a book? Write down the worst-case scenario for your biggest
fear, then visualize how you'll handle this situation. Write down exactly
how you'll handle it.
3. Put First Things First
Quick Summary:

In order to manage ourselves effectively, we must put first things first.

We must have the discipline to prioritize our day-to-day actions based
on what is most important, not what is most urgent.

In Habit 2, we discussed the importance of determining our values and

understanding what it is we are setting out to achieve. Habit 3 is about
actually going after these goals, and executing on our priorities on a
day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis.
In order to maintain the discipline and the focus to stay on track
toward our goals, we need to have the willpower to do something
when we don't want to do it. We need to act according to our values
rather than our desires or impulses at any given moment.

All activities can be categorized based on two factors: Urgent and

important. Take a look at this time management matrix:

We react to urgent matters. We spend our time doing things that are
not important. That means that we neglect Quadrant II, which is the
actually most crucial of them all.

If we focus on Quadrant I and spend our time managing crises and

problems, it keeps getting bigger and bigger until it consumes us. This
leads to stress, burnout, and constantly putting out fires.
If we focus on Quadrant III, we spend most of our time reacting to
matters that seem urgent, when the reality is their perceived urgency
is based on the priorities and expectations of others. This leads to
short-term focus, feeling out of control, and shallow or broken
relationships.
If we focus on Quadrant IV, we are basically leading an irresponsible
life. This often leads to getting fired from jobs and being highly
dependent on others.
Quadrant II is at the heart of effective personal management. It deals
with things like building relationships, long-term planning, exercising,
preparation -- all things we know we need to do but somehow seldom
get around to actually doing because they don't feel urgent.

In order to focus our time in Quadrant II, we have to learn how to say
"no" to other activities, sometimes ones that seem urgent. We also
need to be able to delegate effectively.

Plus, when we focus on Quadrant II, it means we're thinking ahead,

working on the roots, and preventing crises from happening in the first
place! This helps us implement the Pareto Principle -- 80% of your
results come from 20% of your time.
We should always maintain a primary focus on relationships and
results, and a secondary focus on time.

"Think effectiveness with people

and efficiency with things." -
Stephen Covey
Key Lessons:

Here are some ways you can practice putting first things first:

1. Identify a Quadrant II activity you've been neglecting. Write it

down and commit to implementing it.
2. Create your own time management matrix to start prioritizing.
3. Estimate how much time you spend in each quadrant. Then log
your time over 3 days. How accurate was your estimate? How much
time did you spend in Quadrant II (the most important quadrant)?
4. Think Win-Win
Quick Summary:
In order to establish effective interdependent relationships, we must
commit to creating Win-Win situations that are mutually beneficial and
satisfying to each party.

Covey explains that there are six paradigms of human interaction:

1. Win-Win: Both people win. Agreements or solutions are mutually

beneficial and satisfying to both parties.
2. Win-Lose: "If I win, you lose." Win-Lose people are prone to use
position, power, credentials, and personality to get their way.
3. Lose-Win: "I lose, you win." Lose-Win people are quick to please and
appease, and seek strength from popularity or acceptance.
4. Lose-Lose: Both people lose. When two Win-Lose people get
together -- that is, when two, determined, stubborn, ego-invested
individuals interact -- the result will be Lose-Lose.
5. Win: People with the Win mentality don't necessarily want someone
else to lose -- that's irrelevant. What matters is that they get what they
want.
6. Win-Win or No Deal: If you can't reach an agreement that is
mutually beneficial, there is no deal.

The best option is to create Win-Win situations. With Win-Lose, or

Lose-Win, one person appears to get what he wants for the moment,
but the results will negatively impact the relationship between those
two people going forward.

The Win-Win or No Deal option is important to use as a backup. When

we have No Deal as an option in our mind, it liberates us from needing
to manipulate people and push our own agenda. We can be open and
really try to understand the underlying issues.

In solving for Win-Win, we must consider two factors: Consideration

and courage. Take a look at the following chart:

"To go for Win-Win, you not only

have to be nice, you have to be
courageous." -Stephen Covey
Another important factor in solving for Win-Win situations is
maintaining an Abundance Mentality, or the belief that there's plenty
out there for everyone.
Most people operate with the Scarcity Mentality -- meaning they act
as though everything is zero-sum (in other words, if you get it, I don't).
People with the Scarcity Mentality have a very hard time sharing
recognition or credit and find it difficult to be genuinely happy about
other people's successes.

When it comes to interpersonal leadership, the more genuine our

character is, the higher our level of proactivity; the more committed
we are to Win-Win, the more powerful our influence will be.

To achieve Win-Win, keep the focus on results, not methods; on

problems, not people.

Lastly, the spirit of Win-Win can't survive in an environment of

competition. As an organization, we need to align our reward system
with our goals and values and have the systems in place to support
Win-Win.

Key Lessons:

Get yourself to start thinking Win-Win with these challenges:

1. Think about an upcoming interaction where you'll be attempting

to reach an agreement or solution. Write down a list of what the other
person is looking for. Next, write a list next to that of how you can
make an offer to meet those needs.
2. Identify three important relationships in your life. Think about
what you feel the balance is in each of those relationships. Do you give
more than you take? Take more than you give? Write down 10 ways to
always give more than you take with each one.
3. Deeply consider your own interaction tendencies. Are they Win-
Lose? How does that affect your interactions with others? Can you
identify the source of that approach? Determine whether or not this
approach serves you well in your relationships. Write all of this down.
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5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Quick Summary:

Before we can offer advice, suggest solutions, or effectively interact

with another person in any way, we must seek to deeply understand
them and their perspective through empathic listening.

Let's say you go to an optometrist and tell him that you've been having
trouble seeing clearly, and he takes off his glasses, hands them to you
and says, "Here, try these -- they've been working for me for years!" You
put them on, but they only make the problem worse. What are the
chances you'd go back to that optometrist?

Unfortunately, we do the same thing in our everyday interactions with

others. We prescribe a solution before we diagnose the problem. We
don't seek to deeply understand the problem first.

Habit 5 says that we must seek first to understand, then to be

understood. In order to seek to understand, we must learn to listen.
We can't simply use one technique to understand someone. In fact, if a
person senses that we're manipulating her, she will question our
motives and will no longer feel safe opening up to us.

"You have to build the skills of

empathic listening on a base of
character that inspires openness
and trust." -Stephen Covey
To listen empathically requires a fundamental paradigm shift. We
typically seek first to be understood. Most people listen with the intent
to reply, not to understand. At any given moment, they're either
speaking or preparing to speak.

After all, Covey points out, communication experts estimate that:

 10% of our communication is represented by our
words [CLICK TO TWEET]
 30% is represented by our sounds [CLICK TO
TWEET]
 60% is represented by our body language [CLICK
TO TWEET]

When we listen autobiographically -- in other words, with our own

perspective as our frame of reference -- we tend to respond in one of
four ways:

1. Evaluate: Agree or disagree with what is said

2. Probe: Ask questions from our own frame of reference
3. Advise: Give counsel based on our own experience
4. Interpret: Try to figure out the person's motives and behavior
based on our own motives and behavior
But if we replace these types of response with empathic listening, we
see dramatic results in improved communication. It takes time to
make this shift, but it doesn't take nearly as long to practice
empathic listening as it does to back up and correct
misunderstandings, or to live with unexpressed and unresolved
problems only to have them surface later on.

The second part of Habit 5 is " ... then to be understood." This is

equally critical in achieving Win-Win solutions.
When we're able to present our ideas clearly, and in the context of a
deep understanding of the other person's needs and concerns, we
significantly increase the credibility of your ideas.

Key Lessons:

Here are a few ways to get yourself in the habit of seeking first to
understand:

1. Next time you're watching two people communicating, cover your

ears and watch. What emotions are being communicated that might
not come across through words alone? Was one person or the other
more interested in the conversation? Write down what you noticed.
2. Next time you give a presentation, root it in empathy. Begin by
describing the audience's point of view in great detail. What problems
are they facing? How is what you're about to say offering a solution to
their problems?
6. Synergize
Quick Summary:

By understanding and valuing the differences in another person's

perspective, we have the opportunity to create synergy, which allows
us to uncover new possibilities through openness and creativity.

The combination of all the other habits prepares us for Habit 6, which
is the habit of synergy or "When one plus one equals three or more and
the whole is great than the sum of its parts."

For example, if you plant two plants close together, their roots will co-
mingle and improve the quality of the soil, so that both plants will grow
better than they would on their own.

Synergy allows us to create new alternatives and open new

possibilities. It allows us as a group to collectively agree to ditch the
old scripts and write new ones.

"Without doubt, you have to

leave the comfort zone of base
camp and confront an entirely
new and unknown wilderness." -
Stephen Covey

So how can we introduce synergy to a given situation or environment?

Start with habits 4 and 5 -- you must think Win-Win and seek first to
understand.

Once you have these in mind, you can pool your desires with those of
the other person or group. And then you're not on opposite sides of the
problem -- you're together on one side, looking at the problem,
understanding all the needs, and working to create a third alternative
that will meet them.

What we end up with is not a transaction, but a transformation. Both

sides get what they want, and they build their relationship in the
process.

By putting forth a spirit of trust and safety, we will prompt others to

become extremely open and feed on each other's insights and ideas,
creating synergy.

The real essence of synergy is valuing the differences -- the mental,

emotional, and psychological differences between people.
 After all, if two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary.
When we become aware of someone's different perspective, we can
say, "Good! You see it differently! Help me see what you see."

We seek first to understand, and then we find strength and utility in

those different perspectives in order to create new possibilities and
Win-Win results.

Synergy allows you to:

 Value the differences in other people as a way to
expand your perspective
 Sidestep negative energy and look for the good in
others
 Exercise courage in interdependent situations to be
open and encourage others to be open
 Catalyze creativity and find a solution that will be
better for everyone by looking for a third alternative
Key Lessons:

1. Make a list of people who irritate you. Now choose just one

person. How are their views different? Put yourself in their shoes for
one minute. Think and pretend how it feels to be them. Does this help
you understand them better?

Now next time you're in a disagreement with that person, try to

understand their concerns and why they disagree with you. The better
you can understand them, the easier it will be to change their mind --
or change yours.

2. Make a list of people with whom you get along well. Now choose
just one person. How are their views different? Now write down a
situation where you had excellent teamwork and synergy. Why? What
conditions were met to reach such fluidity in your interactions? How
can you recreate those conditions again?
7. Sharpen the Saw
Quick Summary:

To be effective, we must devote the time to renewing ourselves

physically, spiritually, mentally, and socially. Continuous renewal
allows us to synergistically increase our ability to practice each habit.

Habit 7 is focused around renewal, or taking time to "sharpen the

saw." It surrounds all of the other habits and makes each one possible
by preserving and enhancing your greatest asset -- yourself.

There are four dimensions of our nature, and each must be exercised
regularly, and in balanced ways:
 Physical Dimension: The goal of continuous physical improvement is
to exercise our body in a way that will enhance our capacity to work,
adapt, and enjoy.

To renew ourselves physically, we must:

 Eat well
 Get sufficient rest and relaxation
 Exercise on a regular basis to build endurance,
flexibility, and strength

Focusing on the physical dimension helps develop Habit 1 muscles of

proactivity. We act based on the value of well-being instead of reacting
to the forces that keep us from fitness.

Spiritual Dimension: The goal of renewing our spiritual self is to

provide leadership to our life and reinforce your commitment to our
value system.

To renew yourself spiritually, you can:

 Practice daily meditation

 Communicate with nature
 Immerse yourself in great literature or music

A focus on our spiritual dimension helps us practice Habit 2, as we

continuously revise and commit ourselves to our values, so we can
begin with the end in mind.

Mental Dimension: The goal of renewing our mental health is to

continue expanding our mind.

To renew yourself mentally, you can:

 Read good literature

 Keep a journal of your thoughts, experiences, and
insights
 Limit television watching to only those programs
that enrich your life and mind

Focusing on our mental dimension helps us practice Habit 3 by

managing ourselves effectively to maximize the use of our time and
resources.

Social/Emotional Dimension: The goal of renewing ourselves socially

is to develop meaningful relationships.

To renew yourself emotionally, you can:

 Seek to deeply understand other people

 Make contributions to meaningful projects that
improve the lives of others
 Maintain an Abundance Mentality, and seek to help
others find success

Renewing our social and emotional dimension helps us practice Habits

4, 5, and 6 by recognizing that Win-Win solutions do exist, seeking to
understand others, and finding mutually beneficial third alternatives
through synergy.

"Not a day goes by that we can't

at least serve one other human
being by making deposits of
unconditional love." -Stephen
Covey
As we focus on renewing ourselves along these four dimensions, we
must also seek to be a positive scripter for other people. We must look
to inspire others to a higher path by showing them we believe in them,
by listening to them empathically, by encouraging them to be
proactive.

The real beauty of the 7 Habits is that improvement in one habit

synergistically increases our ability to improve the rest.

Renewal is the process that empowers us to move along an upward

spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.

Key Lessons:

1. Make a list of activities that would help you renew yourself along

each of the 4 dimensions. Select one activity for each dimension and
list it as a goal for the coming week. At the end of the week, evaluate
your performance. What led you to succeed or fail to accomplish each
goal?
2. Commit to writing down a specific "sharpen the saw" activity in
all four dimensions every week, to do them, and to evaluate your
performance and results.