Wisdom From The Wise

Wisdom from the Wise:
Advice of Luqman u
Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman
Written by Habeeb Quadri & Sa’ad Quadri
Copyright © 2011 HQEC
Cover design by Ali Quadri
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“Our Lord! Accept from us (this act); indeed You are the All-Hearing,
the All-Knowing.” (2:127)
To our parents and teachers: those who brought us from Heaven to this
Earth, and those who will help take us from this Earth to Heaven.
Wisdom from the Wise:
Advice of Luqman u
Habeeb Quadri & Sa’ad Quadri
HIGH QUALITY EDUCATION CONSULTING

Contents

Acknowledgements: Thank You i
Introduction: Why Luqman u? iii
Foreword: A Statistical Analysis v
1. Lessons from Verse 12 1
Wisdom
Being Grateful
Communicating with Our Children
Teaching Our Children Tawheed and Loving Allah I
Respecting Parents (and Especially Mom)
Respectful Disobedience
Holding Firm to the Faith
Teaching the Attributes of Allah I
Allah I is All-Aware
Allah I is All-Capable
Teaching the Importance of Prayer
Encouraging Enjoining Good
Supporting Forbidding Evil
Avoiding Arrogance
Instilling Humility
Being Humble
Watching Over Our Tongues
9. The Story of Luqman u 43
Afterword: Our Advice 59
About the Authors 61
Acknowledgements
Thank You
Oh Allah I, how great and majestic You are. We will never be

able to thank You. Even as we begin to thank those who have
given us so much, we see that verily it was from Your mercy
that You provided us the opportunity to meet such people.
How can our flawed tongues ever give gratitude to the One
who is perfect? We ask that You accept us despite our flaws,
and we ask that You accept our gratitude despite its deficiency.
Our greatest example and the greatest example to all of

mankind, the Beloved of Allah I, the Messenger of Allah r,
the one whom both the animate and inanimate objects sought
to serve. We thank him for all the sacrifices that he made by
asking You, oh Allah I, that You send upon him Your choicest
prayers and blessings.
We would like to take this moment to thank those who have

inspired, advised, and guided us beginning, as always, with our
parents, who not only took us from a complacent state and
showed us how to crawl and eventually walk physically, but also
emotionally and spiritually.
To Maulana Abulfattah Muniruzzaman, my teacher,

a man of humility and impeccable etiquette, whose
knowledge and character I regularly benefit from: I
thank you with the sincerest of gratitude.
Thank You i
And to those who have inspired me throughout the
years, Dr. Tasneema Ghazi, Imam Siraj Wahhaj, and
Shaykh Abdullah Idris, may Allah I bless you for all
of your efforts and guidance.
- Habeeb
To Dr. Shaykh Husain Abdul Sattar, my teacher and guide,

a man who selflessly accepted the impossible task of
fashioning this hardened clay as if it were soft and fresh,
and who met even the grossest breaches of etiquette with
a smile: I can never thank you for what you have given me.
And to all of my teachers of the sacred sciences, those from

IIE, Sacred Learning, and those who taught me outside of
an institution, you chose to take in this faqir and share your
wealth with him. May Allah I accept you all and bestow
His endless wealth upon you without any account.
-Sa’ad
ii Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

Introduction
Why Luqman u?
Alhamdulillah (all praise is to Allah), through my travels we have

had the opportunity, by Allah’s I tawfiq (guidance) of speaking
to thousands of youth and adults. What we continuously have
noticed is that people ask for advice on one particular issue;
youth speak to me about problems they are experiencing with
their parents, and parents speak to me about issues relating to
how to raise their children, both in this society and overseas.
Through my experiences with our Muslim community we have
noticed that at times fathers take a backseat in the development
of their children. They only step in when they need to talk
about grades, chores, respecting siblings, or other areas that
may need to be corrected. The role of the father basically
becomes one that is called upon when situations are serious or
there is a need for discipline. The worst part is that we have
almost made this cultural norm a part of our faith.
However, if we look at our Islamic tradition we see the father

played a vital role in the development of the children. Thus, I
wanted this book to focus on the advice of one of the greatest
fathers our rich religious history has to offer, the Luqman u
to his son. This book is designed to address parents, future
parents, and even children. However, we will be stressing the
importance of the father throughout the book, and how his
role in the life of our children is more relevant than ever before.
Communicating to children is an art that has been displayed and

observed for generations. Both saying words of encouragement
and words of admonishment have ways in which they are most
affective. The process of listening also has methods through
Why Luqman u? iii

which our children can benefit most. This book aims to also
impart these nuances through details found in the interaction
of Luqman u with his son.
Finally, this is not meant to be a scholarly analysis of the verses.

Rather, these are some lessons that we felt were important
that could be derived from a superficial reading of the verses.
In previous publications we made sure to supplement each
chapter with a section on practical solutions. We refrained
from including such a section in this book, because we felt
each chapter is basically a set of practical solutions and not
necessarily reflections or commentary.
iv Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

Foreword
A Statistical Analysis
To start, I wanted to merely put forth some statistics taken

regarding children with fatherless homes. We might quickly
become defensive and say that our children do have a father at
home, but are the fathers doing more than living in the house?
Are the fathers, myself included, acting as the living, guiding,
modeling, teaching example that our children so greatly need.
Below are excerpts taken from Wayne Parker on the statistics
of fatherless children in America.
Incarceration Rates: Young men who grow up in homes

without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those
who come from traditional two-parent families...those boys
whose fathers were absent from the household had double the
odds of being incarcerated -- even when other factors such as
race, income, parent education and urban residence were held
constant. (Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania
and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in
“Father Absence and Youth Incarceration.” Journal of Research
on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.)
Suicide: 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

(U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Bureau of
the Census)
Behavioral Disorders: 85% of all children that exhibit

behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (United
States Center for Disease Control)
A Statistical Analysis v
High School Dropouts: 71% of all high school dropouts
come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association
Report on the State of High Schools.)
Educational Attainment: Kids living in single-parent homes

or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the
part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work,
and less overall social supervision than children from intact
families. (N.M. Astore and S. McLanahan, American Sociological
Review, No. 56 (1991)
Juvenile Detention Rates: 70% of juveniles in state-operated

institutions come from fatherless homes (U.S. Dept. of Justice,
Special Report, Sept 1988)
Confused Identities: Boys who grow up in father-absent

homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to
have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender
identity. (P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, Fatherless
Children, New York, Wiley Press, 1984).
Aggression: In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade

students, researchers observed “greater levels of aggression
in boys from mother-only households than from boys in
mother-father households.” (N. Vaden-Kierman, N. Ialongo,
J. Pearson, and S. Kellam, “Household Family Structure and
Children’s Aggressive Behavior: A Longitudinal Study of
Urban Elementary School Children,” Journal of Abnormal Child
Psychology 23, no. 5 (1995)).
Achievement: Children from low-income, two-parent families

outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes.
Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent
vi Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

homes as one-parent homes. (One-Parent Families and Their
Children, Charles F. Kettering Foundation, 1990).
Delinquency: Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come

from families in which the biological mother and father are
married to each other. By contract, 33 percent have parents
who are either divorced or separated and 44 percent have
parents who were never married. (Wisconsin Dept. of Health
and Social Services, April 1994).
Criminal Activity: The likelihood that a young male will engage in

criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples
if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-
parent families. (A. Anne Hill, June O’Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the
United States, CUNY, Baruch College. 1993)
A Statistical Analysis vii

viii Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u
Chapter I
Verse XII
َ َ ُ ْ َ َ َ ْ ْ َ ٰ َ ُْ ََْ َ ْ ََ َ
َ‫ك ْر ِ هّل‬
‫ِ ومن‬ ‫ولقد ءاتينا لقمـن ٱل ِكمة أ ِن ٱش‬
ّ‫َ َ َ َ هَّ َه‬
َ‫ٱل‬ َ َ ْ َ ُ ُ ْ َ َ َّ‫َ ْ ُ ْ َ ه‬
‫سهِۦ ومن كفر فإِن‬ ِ ‫يشكر فإِنما يشكر لِ ف‬
ٌ َ ٌّ‫َ ه‬
١٢ ‫غ ِن حِيد‬
And verily We bestowed wisdom upon Luqman, saying,

“Be grateful to Allah. And whosoever is grateful, then
verily he is grateful for himself, and whosoever is ungrateful,
then verily Allah is free of all needs, worthy of all praise.
Allah is Al-Hakeem (the Most-Wise). The attribute of complete
wisdom belongs only to Allah I, and thus if anyone in this
world is given wisdom, it is out of the wisdom and mercy of
Allah I that He provides them with that wisdom as a gift.
He grants wisdom to whom He wills, and whoever is granted wisdom, he
indeed is given a great good. (2:269)
Allah I further states in Surah Luqman,

And verily We bestowed wisdom upon Luqman…. (31:12)
These verses demonstrate the fact that as individuals not only

do we have a lack of knowledge, but we are also limited in
Verse XII 1
both the way we apply the knowledge that we have and in the
way we apply wisdom. This is an important concept that we
need to recognize as parents and in general situations in our
lives. Thus, when we deal with our children and when people
approach us for help and advice, we need to recognize that
we are not free from error and any wisdom in our judgment
is a gift from Allah I. Just as when we advise we try to make
use of the knowledge and wisdom bestowed upon us by Allah
I, we should further understand that when we are advised
this will often be the case as well. However, the advice that
will be given in the forthcoming verses are not from just any
person. Rather, it comes from a man whom Allah I Himself
has stated that He gave wisdom to as illustrated in the previous
section.
The first lesson Allah I gives us in these verses comes before

Luqman u begins to advise his son. In fact, it is in this
verse that Allah I explains the purpose of wisdom. Unlike
the perception that many of us have, the purpose of having
wisdom is not to help or advise others; in fact, it is not even
to aid us in arriving to the best conclusion for any situation.
Rather, these are all means to display the actual purpose of
wisdom.
And verily We bestowed wisdom upon Luqman, saying, “Be grateful to
Allah. And whosoever is grateful, then verily he is grateful for himself,
and whosoever is ungrateful, then verily Allah is free of all needs, worthy
of all praise. (31:12)
This is highlighted beautifully in the life of the Prophet r. His

greatest enemy, Abu Jahl (the father of ignorance) was initially
given the nickname Abul Hakm (the father of wisdom). The
reason why his initial nickname was changed to his current one
was because he did not use his wisdom to submit to Allah I.
2 Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

As a result, that wisdom was not utilized for its purpose and
was subsequently not fulfilling what Allah I has asked from
our wisdom. Wisdom is bestowed upon us so that we can see
the existence and greatness of Allah I in all that is around
us and so that we can be among Allah’s I grateful servants.
And, as parents, it is important that we stress the importance
of all the blessings we have to our children. Being thankful
or grateful to Allah I is to realize that Allah’s I blessings
are always present and present in abundance, even when we
cannot notice it.
This has to begin at a young age, especially when our children

receive gifts regularly from us and from others. We should
advise our children to thank those who gave us that gift and to
thank Allah I for that gift as He is the one who actually gave
that gift and everything else to us. We should further remind
them what Allah I says about being grateful in the Qur’an,
And if you are grateful, verily I will increase you. (14:7)
A great habit to implement on a regular basis, be it everyday

or every other day, is to sit with our children before going to
sleep and count some of the blessings Allah I has given us.
Even things that may seem as superficial are important. For
example, “Oh Allah, thank you for the new toy I received,
thank you for letting me go to my friend’s house, thank you for
the beautiful day today so we were able to play outside.” This
may seem superficial and at times useless, but it will develop
the habit in our children to regularly be grateful for everything.
In fact, the Prophet r prescribed that between bites a believer
should say, “Oh Allah, for you is all praise and for you is all
gratitude.” The act of eating may seem like a superficial one,
yet the Prophet r complimented it with ad’iyah (supplications)
before and after it, as well as during it. In fact if we examine
Verse XII 3
the various supplications from the sunnah (prophetic tradition)
we can easily see the majority of them, especially when having
completed an action, center around giving thanks to Allah I.
If this can be ingrained in our kids at a young age then our kids
will look at the world through an entirely new perspective.
Furthermore, we should let our children see how some of the

less fortunate people live and what they go through. When
I tell young kids that one billion people live on one dollar a
day it shocks them. Especially since many of us might drop
a dollar accidentally and not even think about it or notice it.
One of the greatest experiences for me as a child was visiting
my parents’ mother country, India. I was thirteen years old
and was there for two months. It was the most humbling
experience for me because in order to have basic necessities
like water, we had to go to the well, fill our buckets, and boil
the water before we were able to drink it. We could not take
showers everyday. The bathroom was a whole in the ground,
and the water we used in the bathroom was water stored
from the rain. Furthermore, the electricity would go out for a
few hours everyday in weather that was regularly around 100
degrees. What was most shocking was that my parents were
from the lower-middle class of the neighborhood, so there
were people who were in even more dire conditions than us.
I traveled to see more of India by train, and that journey gave
me a new perspective on the blessings of Allah I and taught
me to be grateful for all that I had.
Some parents might say it is tough to take the entire family

overseas. However, even that is not necessary. We can simply
take our family for a drive through the inner-city, to volunteer
at a local soup kitchen, to visit a senior citizens home, or to
go to hospital and see children with disabilities and sickness.
We should have our children interact with others who have

less than them, especially children, and we will slowly see their
perspective on life change, inshaAllah (God willing).
Gratitude extends beyond giving thanks for merely physical

items and extends beyond merely saying thank you for such
gifts. For example, Allah I has given all of us various talents.
Using that talent for the sake of Allah I is the best way to
show gratitude. For instance, some of us may have a talent to
express ourselves through writing. These individuals can show
their gratitude to Allah I by using this skill to inform people
through their writing. Some of us may have the talent to speak
eloquently. These individuals can show their gratitude to Allah
I by using this skill to motivate people to do good acts and
have a love of Allah I and His Messenger. Reminding kids
of some of the talents that Allah I has bestowed them with
not only serves as positive reinforcement, but it is also great
reminder for what we should be grateful. Our children should
be reminded that the best way to show thanks for their talents
is to use those skills in a manner that pleases Allah I.
I have noticed that many of us, when it comes to materialistic

things, always look at individuals who have more than us.
For example we look at a person with a nicer car than us
or a nicer home than us and we begin making comparisons
between their wealth and our own. We not only compare their
financial prosperity to ours but we also compare their spiritual
prosperity to ours. We begin to think that we are better people
than them and yet we have less materialistically than they do.
This is especially true when we see people on television who
are wealthy, enjoying all of the perks in life, and yet they do not
even believe in Allah I and sometimes are not morally upright
individuals. As a result we begin to think to ourselves, and
sometimes openly ask Allah I, why we have not been given
blessings when others have.
Verse XII 5
But we use the opposite philosophy with our practice of faith.
When it comes to faith we look at people who do less than us
and think that at least we pray five times a day, while others
only pray sometimes. Or we think at least we read Qur’an once
a week, while others do not read it at all. But those who are
grateful, who truly understand the role of gratitude, recognize
the various blessings we have been given as a means to further
us in submission to Allah I. And, conversely speaking, we
recognize that our submission can never be enough for the
various blessings we have been bestowed with. Those who
are thankful look at their material wealth and say, alhamdulillah
(all praise is for Allah), and realize if Allah I wills for them
to receive more then they will receive more. Furthermore,
they think to themselves that they have not done enough to be
grateful to Allah I for what He gave them.

Chapter II
Verse XIII
ْ ْ ُ َ َّ‫ْ َ َ ُ ْ َ ٰ ُ ْ َ ُ َ َ ُ ُ َ ٰ ُ َ ه‬
‫شك‬
ِ ‫ِإَوذ قال لقم هَّـن هَّ ِلبن ِ هّهِۦ َوه َو ُ ي ْعِظ َهۥ يـبن ل ت‬
١٣ ‫يم‬ ْ ِ ‫بٱلِ إن‬
ٌ ‫ٱلشك لظل ٌم ع ِظ‬
ِ ِ
And when Luqman said to his son, while he was advising
him, “Oh my dear son, do not associate partners with
Allah. Verily associating partners with Allah is a great
oppression.”
Whenever we send a letter or e-mail to a dear friend or a
respected individual, we begin that letter by addressing that
person with the best of addresses. This is in order to honor
that person and show how much we value him or her. In that
same regard, if we look at how people with power address
those who they feel are insignificant, they often use words and
labels that denote that feeling. It is in this light that we should
look at how Luqman u begins his advice to his son.
And when Luqman said to his son, while he was advising him, “Oh my
dear son….” (31:13)
The term in Arabic, though it may not seem very different than
saying, “my son,” actually means, in this form, “my dear son.”
This is the first lesson that we can take from Luqman u. He
used kind words when addressing his son. The reality is that a
parent holds status over their children and their rank is much
Verse XIII 7
higher. Yet in this situation Luqman u did not allow that to
affect him when addressing his son. He knew that if he wants
his son to be receptive to his words that he should be kind and
gentle when addressing him.
We as parents need to understand that our relationship with our

child is important, and the first way we start this relationship is
through communication. Even when our children are infants
we say easy words or pseudo-words to start the process. We
notice when we smile and say words with a comforting tone that
our children become comfortable and happy. As our children
get older we continue to speak to our children, but more often
than not we speak to them when something is wrong or when
reprimanding them. Our tone is also quite different. Thus,
our children begin to see the act of speaking to us as a chore or
something that is done only when something goes wrong. As
our children grow up, we then question why they view us like
this, but the reality is that we had a lot more to do with it than
we initially thought.
Luqman u intends to address his son with important advice,

and he begins it with “Oh my dear son.” This and similar
expressions immediately put a child at ease and is something
we need to understand; when we speak to our children and
give them advice we should do so by initially making them feel
comfortable. When they are comfortable the advice is more
likely to be taken seriously. We feel using a stern tone is the
only way to get our message across, however, this is not the
case. When our children hear a harsh or strict tone, especially
repeatedly, it immediately causes them to become disinterested.
We see them beginning to roll their eyes, slump their shoulders,
and sometimes even look away in disinterest. To them it is just,
“here we go again.”

Also, another crucial point mentioned here is that the father
having a relationship with his child is okay. Some cultures
classify the father as being the disciplinarian who only interacts
and talks to the kids when something wrong is happening. It is
becoming more and more important for us to understand the
necessity of the relationship and the role the father should play
in the lives of his children, especially in today’s cultural climate.
In this verse Luqman u continues to advise his son by telling

him not to associate anyone with Allah I.
And when Luqman said to his son, while he was advising him, “Oh
my dear son, do not associate partners with Allah. Verily associating
partners with Allah is a great oppression.” (31:13)
This lesson is essential. Let us go back and remember to the

birth of our children. The sunnah is to say the adhan (call to
prayer) and the iqamah (immediate call to prayer) in the ears of
the newborn child. The first thing the child should hear is that
Allah I is the greatest, and that there is no deity but Allah I
and Muhammad r is the Messenger of Allah. This should be
a great reminder to us as we see that Allah I has established
the oneness of Allah I as the first thing a newborn child
hears. The scientific reality is that newborn children do not
understand what is being said to them, but the spiritual reality
has been made clear in the sunnah that at this tender age it is
important to expose the child to the oneness of Allah I and
the fact that no one is worthy of worship but Him.
As parents it is vital that we establish the love of Allah I in

the hearts of our children. Even while they are infants, it is
very beneficial for them to see us pray and do acts of worship.
Children naturally imitate those whom they are around the
most, and when they see us do certain actions they will try to
Verse XIII 9
imitate it to gain our love. We should take advantage of this
characteristic by being regular in our worship, and by allowing
them to see us worship. Furthermore, they should always be
exposed to the remembrance of Allah I. In fact, they should
go to sleep remembering Allah I and they should wake up
remembering Allah I. Thus, before our kids go to sleep it
is important to read the du’a of sleeping, and to teach them
to ask Allah I to help them in even such an act as sleeping.
We should establish this dependency on Allah I practically
in their lives. Have them ask Allah I to grant them a good
sleep and to protect them from bad dreams, and have them
ask for protection from injury and to make them good people.
When they start seeing that asking Allah I for a good sleep
resulted in having a peaceful night of rest they will become
conscious of the power of seeking help from Allah I. This
is something Habeeb has practiced and found successful with
his own children. They make du’a for not just sleep but for the
things that they want. And if they want to buy toys, he and his
wife remind them to make du’a and, inshaAllah, Allah I will
grant hat for them. It will become evident how quickly they
will start remembering Allah I in every moment.
When we eat food we should remind our children to start by

remembering Allah. When we go outside we should remind
our children to go outside by asking Allah I for His protection.
When we drive we should remind our children to ask Allah I
for help and guidance on the journey. Even when we take
our children to the restroom we should remind them to ask
Allah I for protection from that which is impure and bad,
and to thank Him for relieving us from the pain that we had
before using the restroom. These reminders will slowly instill
the understanding and love of Allah I in their hearts. And
As they get older and face new challenges and issues, they can
remember to ask Allah I for help.

We have to realize now that our children will be questioned
about their faith not only by those in society, but sometimes
they will question themselves. Thus, some basic instruction
and understanding regarding their relationship with Allah I
and the belief system of our religion should be taught to them.
Initially it will be through rote memorization, but then as
time continues it will be implemented, as I mentioned above.
Eventually it will also grow into understanding. There will be
times where our children will feel despair when it comes to
their religion, but they have to realize that that they should not
lose hope and keep remembering Allah I, making sure they
believe in Him and that all things come from Him as a test and
making sure that they have an understanding of the unseen.
Everyday in prayer we ask Allah I for guidance.

Guide us on the straight path. (1:5)
In the very next surah (chapter) of the Qur’an, Allah I begins

by telling us,
This is the book in which there is no doubt, a guidance for those with
God-consciousness. (2:2)
This level of having being consciousness and aware of Allah

I at every moment, or taqwa, is the state that all of us want to
be in. Thus, we strive to please Him and submit to Him even
though we do not see Him. This is that very characteristic that
Allah I loves and He mentions as the quality of those with
taqwa. He mentions in the very next verse,
(They are) Those who believe in the unseen …. (2:3)
Verse XIII 11
Thus, having our children constantly remember, submit, and
seek help from Allah I from an early age, even though they
do not see Him, will help establish them on the path of taqwa.

Chapter III
Verse XIV
َ َ ً ْ َ ُ ُّ‫َ َ هَّ ْ َ ْ َ ٰ َ َ َ ْ َ َ َ ْ ُ ُ ه‬
ٰ‫ع‬ ‫ٱلنسـن بِو ِٰليهِ حلته أمهۥ وهنا‬ ‫ووصينا‬
َ َْ َ َ ْ ُ ْ َ َْ َ ُ ُِ ٰ َ َ ْ َ
‫ي أ ِن ٱشكر ِل ول ِو ِٰليك‬ ِ ‫وه ٍن وف ِصـلهۥ ِف َ ع ْم‬
ُ
١٤ ‫ل ٱل َم ِصري‬َّ‫إ ِ ه‬
And We have enjoined upon mankind to be excellent

towards his parents -- His mother bore him in weakness
upon weakness for two years -- commanding, “Be grateful
to Me and to your parents, and to Me is the final return.
When looking at Islam, Allah I has not required much from us.
We have assigned times in the day to pray. We have a portion
of the year in which we are required to fast. There is a small
amount that, if we qualify, we are required to give in charity.
And there is a journey to Makkah that, if we qualify, we are
required to take. Aside from that, we have other commands
that we are required to fulfill and there certain acts that we are
required to refrain from. Yet, there is one command that Allah
I repeats in various places in the Qur’an.
And We have enjoined upon mankind to be excellent towards his
parents. (31:14)
Verse XIV 13
What an honor that Allah I has given to all parents by not
only mentioning good treatment towards them in Qur’an, but
He also in various places has put that command directly after
worshipping Him. Thus, this is a lofty goal that the believer
must strive to attain. However, the disconnect that children
sometimes feel with their parents makes it difficult. In order
to solve this, both sides need to be aware of the importance of
parents, something that we really began to appreciate once we
became parents.
All of us need to understand the difficulty our mothers

underwent for nine months -- from morning sickness, to
carrying an eight pound baby in her womb, to the amount of
pain she felt in her back and in her feet, to the discomfort
in every position during every moment throughout the day.
Even after birth, the amount of times a day we needed our
diapers changed and the constant feedings we needed when we
were younger. Often our parents, especially our mothers, did
not have consecutive hours sleep because they were tending
to us. It is only the mercy that Allah I put in the hearts of
mothers and parents that allows for this to happen. Thus, we
owe a great amount of respect and submission to our parents.
And foremost from our parents, we owe our obedience to our
mothers.
Abu Huraira reported that “a person came to Allah’s Messenger (may
peace be upon him) and said, ‘Who among the people is most deserving
of a fine treatment from my hand?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He
again said, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Again it is your mother.’ He said,
‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Again, it is your mother.’ He said, ‘Then who?’
Thereupon he said, ‘then it is your father.’” (Muslim)
In fact, Imam Bukhari t mentions in his Al-Adab Al-Mufrad

that Sa’id ibn Abi Burda t said,

I heard my father say that, “Ibn ‘Umar saw a man from Yemen going
around the House while carrying his mother on his back, saying, ‘I am
your humble camel. If her mount is frightened, I am not frightened.’
Then he asked, Ibn ‘Umar? Do you think that I have repaid her?’ He
replied, ‘No, not even for a single groan.’” (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad)
Here even a sharp pang that caused the mother to groan

could not be repaid by this great act of service. What about
everything else that they have done for us? Thus, our parents
have more of a right over us than even ourselves.
His mother bore him in weakness upon weakness for two years….
(31:14)
The Prophet r actually gave stern warning to those who do

not take care of their parents and fulfill their rights.
Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) as
saying, “May his nose be rubbed in the dust; may his nose be rubbed in
the dust. It was said, “Allah’s Messenger, who is he?” He said, “He
who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of
them, and he does not enter Paradise.” (Muslim)
At the same time, there is great reward for those who do serve
and obey their parents.
Ibn ‘Abbas t said, “If any Muslim obeys Allah regarding his parents,
Allah will open two gates of the Garden for him. If there is only one
parent, then one gate will be opened. If one of them is angry, then Allah
will not be pleased with him until that parent is pleased with him.” He
was asked, “Even if they wrong him?” “Even if they wrong him,” he
replied. (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad)
Verse XIV 15
Thus the choice of how we want to benefit from our parents
lies in our hands.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “A parent is the
best of the gates to Paradise. So if you wish, keep the gate (through
kind treatment of your parents), or lose it (by treating them
badly).” (Tirmidhi)
The previous portion may have been geared more for children,
but as adults we too can benefit from it. As we get older we
have to realize our parents have also grown older, something
that at times we may not want to think about. The ones that
took care of us and protected us now need us in the same way
as they grow older. Many of us have noticed some of our
elders who we saw as extremely intelligent and strong come to
an age where they get begin to forget names and may not be
able to move with as much ease as before. It is as if are slowly
reverting back to being little children. The life of a human
goes in this circle where a young baby will come to a full adult,
only to come back to an infantile stage. Thus, Allah I teaches
us in the Qur’an of what to do and what to say.
And your Lord has ordained that you worship none other than Him
and you act with excellence towards your parents. If one or both of
them reach old age do not say “uff ” (even the smallest utterance
of contempt) to them nor repel them, but address them with noble
speech. And lower upon them the wing of submission from mercy and
say, “My Lord have mercy on both of them as they cared for me when I
was younger.” (17:23-24)
Finally, as parents, it is important for us to understand that we

owe mercy to our children before they owe us respect. Even in
the verse above the du’a is made mentioning that our parents
showed mercy upon us when we were younger. Thus, we should
show mercy upon our children from the very beginning. More

often than not we begin to expect respect without realizing that
our actions may not have warranted respect. Thus, we should
be extremely careful to be merciful and act kindly towards
our children, so they will naturally desire to be respectful and
dutiful towards us. Furthermore, we should lead by example;
if our parents are alive we should serve our parents, so our
children see practically what service, respect, and honor mean.
This, inevitably, is a way by which we can show Allah I that
we are grateful to Him for the gift of our parents, and that we
recognize that we will held accountable for this, as well as all
of our gifts.
…commanding, “Be grateful to Me and to your parents, and to Me is
the final return.” (31:14)
Verse XIV 17
Chapter IV
Verse XV
َ َ َ َْ َ َ ْ ُ َ ٰٓ َ َ َ َ َ ٰ َ ُ ََ
‫شك ِب ما ليس لك بِهِۦ‬ ِ َ ‫ت‬ ‫ن‬‫أ‬ ‫ع‬ ‫اك‬ ‫د‬ ‫ه‬ َ ‫ـ‬ ‫ج‬ ‫ِإَون‬
ْ ‫ن‬ ‫ك‬ ‫ٍل فْت‬
ً ُ ْ َ َ ْ ُّ‫ه‬ ْ ْ ُ َ
‫حب َ ُه َما ِف َ ٱلنيا معروفا‬ ِ ‫ت بِها عِل ٌم فل ت ِطع ُه َما َ َوصا‬ َ ِ ‫ض يَأ‬
ُ
‫ج ُعك ْم‬ ْ َ َّ‫ل ُث هَّم إ ه‬ َّ‫اب إ ِ ه‬ َ َ‫يل َم ْن أن‬ َ َ ْ َّ‫َ ه‬
ِ ‫ل َمر‬ ُِ ُ ِ ‫وٱتبِع َ ُس َب‬
ْ َ ْ ُ ُ ُ ّ‫ه‬
١٥ ‫فأنب ِئكم ب ِ َما كنتم تع َملون‬
“And if they strive to make you associate partners with

Me with that which you have no knowledge of, then do not
obey them; rather accompany them in this world in a good
manner. And follow the path of those who turned to Me.
Then to Me is your return; thus I will inform you of what
you did.”
This has become a regular question from youth, “what if my

parents tell me to do something wrong?” Unfortunately, as
parents, we try to command our children towards good, but
sometimes while keeping their best interest in mind we lose
out on the real goal in life, which is the pleasure of Allah I.
We have to be careful as parents to keep this in mind. Many
times we hear parents prohibiting their children from fasting
because their children need to study for major examinations,
or parents prohibit their children from waking up for Fajr (the

morning prayer) so that they may be able to rest before school.
All of this is completely impermissible, even if it may be for
the well-being of our children. The reality is that the greatest
well-being is based on achievement in the hereafter and not in
this world.
“And if they strive to make you associate partners with Me with that
which you have no knowledge of, then do not obey them…” (31:15)
It is very difficult to see youth come and complain about

how their parents will not allow them to become religious or
practice their religion openly. Situations are regularly brought
forth where parents prevent their daughters from wearing
the hijab (scarf/veil) or their sons from growing their beards.
Parents cite that they want their children to be well-liked in
society and not be outcast. Parents fear that their children will
not get married or find work if they display their Islam. While
the intentions here may be good, it is difficult for youth to look
at their parents with respect and obey them when their parents
are putting temporary success over permanent success. The
line can become very unclear for children in these scenarios,
especially when parents say things like, “fine, do it and don’t
care about me, don’t care if I die,” or statements like, “may
Allah I curse you! I wish I never had you.” Subsequently
children are not sure when to obey and disobey parents.
Simply put, if parents ever ask of us to do things that are not

permissible, then our obedience is to Allah I first before
anyone else, including our parents. The principle here is that
there is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the
Creator. So even though Allah I has elevated the status of
parents and we see the virtue of obeying and serving them in
both the Qur’an and in hadith, the reason why we serve our
Verse XV 19
parents is not only because they are our parents. Rather, it is
because Allah I has honored them.
“…rather accompany them in this world in a good manner.” (31:15)
However, when parents use their position to order us towards

impermissible acts, then we should respectfully disobey
them. This is one area that is sometimes misunderstood.
The point here is not to yell and tell our parents that they are
such weak Muslims and we are better than them. Rather, it is
to be respectful and loving while disobeying them. In such
circumstances we may want to explain to them why we cannot
do what they are asking. Or, if this will not work, we may need
to disobey them without their knowing.
“…And follow the path of those who turned to Me….” (31:15)
There are various examples from the lives of the Sahabah

(companions of the Prophet r) where they were forced to
disobey their parents, including that of Mus’ab bin ‘Umair
t. When she was informed of his Islam, Mus’ab t left to
Abyssinia. However, when he returned due to a false rumor
that the leaders of Quraysh became Muslim, she cornered him
and gave him an ultimatum. Either he returns home and enjoys
the riches and comfort of his life and leave Islam, or he leaves
the comforts of his life and his home and remains Muslim.
Mus’ab bin ‘Umair t did not become upset with his mother,
nor did he use harsh words. Rather, he invited his mother to
Islam and when she rejected, he bade her farewell and left the
home without any altercation. The reason for this was simple,
because they know that ultimately they have to return to Allah
I and it is His pleasure they seek.
“Then to Me is your return; thus I will inform you of what you did.”
(31:15)

This is something very important that we should keep in mind,
that we do not become confrontational or argumentative with
our parents. When we become upset we naturally become
heated and respond based on our emotions. Those responses
can be very hurtful. This does not refer to when young children
say they prefer their mother over their father, or they say that
their parents are mean, although, even those comments can
cause a small amount of hurt. But when a young adult says
something that is hurtful, then those comments leave a lasting
mark. The verse here encourages us to be faithful to Allah
I by not obeying parents when they ask us to do something
wrong, but it also asks us to remain faithful to Allah I by
doing so in a gentle, honorable manner. Remember, Allah I
will raise us for a final questioning, and though today we could
make excuses for our actions, that day He will make clear not
only our actions, but also our intentions behind our actions.
Furthermore, this verse also refers to disobeying parents when

they ask us to do something that is clearly haram (impermissible).
When it comes to points that have a difference of opinion,
then this matter should be handled gently with the advice of
scholars. In addition, this verse does not refer to disobeying
parents when they ask us to stop playing video games or stop
watching television, or if they ask us to clean our room or
even if they ask to see our e-mail our Facebook accounts. The
reality is that more often than not we take this verse out of
context and apply it where it is not applicable. We as children
need to reflect on our behavior with our parents and the
communication that we have with them. Are we using proper
adab (etiquette) in our interaction with our parents? Are we
treating them like they are children and looking at ourselves
as parents? We should never think that this relationship of
mutual respect and mercy starts with them; rather, it should
start with us first.
Verse XV 21
Chapter V
Verse XVI
ُ َ َ َ َ َْ ُ َ َّ‫َ ٰ ُ َ هَّ ه‬
‫ن إِن َهآ َإِن تك مِثقال َح َ هَّب ٍة هّ ِم ْن ْ َخ ْرد ٍل فْ َتكن‬ ‫يـب‬
ْ
َّ‫ف َصخ َر ٍة أ ْو ف ه‬
ِ ‫ٰت أ ْو ِف ٱل ْر ِض يَأ‬
‫ت ب ِ َها‬ ِ ‫ٱلس َم ٰـ َ َو‬ ِ ِ
ٌ َ ٌ َ‫ٱل‬ّ‫ُهَّ هَّ َه‬
١٦ ‫ل ِطيف خبِري‬ ‫ٱل إِن‬
Oh my dear son, if there is from the weight of the grain of

a mustard seed and it was in a rock or in the heavens or in
the Earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily Allah is
Subtle, Aware.”
As I mentioned before, it is very important that, as parents,
we take time out to teach our children about the importance
of gaining taqwa from an early age. It is important that our
children know that Allah I is always watching over us and is
aware of what we do, and His watching over us very complete
and focused.
Luqman u makes this one of the critical pieces of advice that

he gives his son. He mentions,
“Oh my dear son, if there is from the weight of the grain of a mustard
seed and it was in a rock or in the heavens or in the Earth, Allah will
bring it forth. Verily Allah is Subtle, Aware.” (31:16)

This piece of advice brings about two very important ideas.
The first is the way that Luqman u practically presents
Allah’s I ability to know everything. He does not use abstract
thought. Rather, he simplifies the entire idea that Allah I
is everywhere to the example of one the smallest items they
knew, a mustard seed. Then he explains that if part of that
mustard seed, not even the entire mustard seed, were to be
hidden beneath or in a rock, or high in the heavens, or buried
within the Earth, that Allah I will not only know about that
mustard seed, but He has the power to bring it forth. This type
of wisdom of simplifying and approaching people in ways that
is appropriate to them is found both in the Qur’an and in the
hadith. The Prophet r said,
Address people according to their levels. (Abu Dawood)
We see Luqman u doing this with his son, bringing a complex

idea down to that which will be easily understandable for his
son. Similarly we should do our best to also appropriate things
for our children to their level and speak to them in a way that
they can understand. At the same time, we should also not
overly simplify things. Sometimes parents can forget that their
children are getting older and becoming more mature. The
way to notice how to speak to our children is by always keeping
the lines of communication open, and to be vigilant in noticing
changes and growth, both physically and mentally, within our
children.
The second important idea that comes from the advice of

Luqman u is the importance of taqwa. As we mentioned
before, we ask Allah I regularly in Surah Fatiha to guide us on
the straight path, to which He responds immediately in Surah
Baqarah that He revealed the Qur’an as guidance. However,
Verse XVI 23
Allah I further labels whom the Qur’an is guidance for, and
that is the people of taqwa.
This is the book in which there is no doubt, guidance to the people of
God-consciousness. (2:2)
Thus, if we want to be from the people who are guided, then

we want to be from the people of taqwa. In Surah Baqarah,
Allah I further states that,
…Fasting has been prescribed for you as it has been prescribed to those
who came before you, perchance you become God-conscious. (2:183)
In this verse we see the main purpose for fasting is to instill

the remembrance Allah I and through it establish worship.
When people are always remembering Allah I, they will act in
a way that is pleasing to Him, avoiding that which He dislikes
and abiding by that which pleases Him. That is taqwa. Fasting
was ordained upon believers so that through the process of
weakness and need that we experience during our fast we can
remember our Creator. Prayer has the same purpose. Allah
I mentions,
…And establish the prayer for my remembrance. (20:14)
This comes down to the same purpose for worship, to

remember Allah I and act accordingly. The reason why this
discussion on the purpose of worship becomes important is
because there is a saying that has been attributed to the Prophet
r, ‘Ali t, and other scholars of the past that advises parents to
play with their children for the first seven years of their lives,
to instruct them for the next seven years of their lives, and
to befriend them for the next seven years of their lives, and
thereafter to let them go. Although there is a hadith in the
book of Imam Tabarani t that mentions something similar,

its authenticity is weaker. However, many scholars comment
on the wisdom of the statement as being sound.
The child is the master for seven years and a slave for seven years and
a minister for seven years; so if he grows into a good character within
twenty-one years, well and good; otherwise leave him alone because you
have discharged your responsibility before Allah. (Tabarani)
What is interesting about this division comes from a different

narration of the Prophet r, where he says,
Order your children to pray at the age of seven. (Ahmad)
Thus, during the first years of our children’s lives they

are learning and experiencing the greatness of Allah I
through less stringent settings. However, at a certain point
that remembrance and recognition of His oneness and His
presences needs to be transferred over to action; in this case
it is done through the prayer. The purpose remains the same,
that our children may attain taqwa and have the recognition
that Allah I is always watching over them.
In this modern, technologically advanced age, our children see

how so much information can be collected and stored on a
USB drive. We should remind our children that in that same
way Allah I has ordered angels upon each of our shoulders to
write every action we do. Similarly, just as we have videos and
DVDs with hours of footage recorded onto it to be viewed
at a later time, so too is there a recording of our lives that will
be viewed by the all of humanity on the Day of Judgment.
Through such constant reminders and encouragement, our
children will inshaAllah reach the stage as mentioned in the
hadith Jibreel u,
Verse XVI 25
Ihsan (perfection) is to worship Allah as if you see Him. And if
you cannot see Him know that He sees you. (Bukhari, Muslim)

Chapter VI
Verse XVII
َ َ ْ َ ُ ْ َ ْ ْ ُ ْ َ َ َ َّ‫ه‬ َ َُ َ
‫وف وٱنه ع ِن‬ َّ‫ي ٰـب ه‬
ِ ‫ن أق ِ ِم ٱلصل َوٰة وأ َمر بِٱلمعر‬
َ
ِ‫ك إ ِ هَّن ذٰل َِك م ِْن َع ْزم‬ َ َ َ َ ٰ َ ْ ْ َ َ ُْ
‫ٱلمنك ِر وٱص ِب ع ْم ُآ أصاب‬
١٧ ِ‫ٱل ُمور‬
Oh my dear son, establish prayer and enjoin good

and forbid evil and be patient with what afflicts
you. Indeed this is from the most important of
commands.”
A few chapters prior we had discussed the tradition of our
Prophet r of reciting the adhan and iqamah in the ear of the
newborn child. Specifically the idea of proclaiming Allah’s I
greatness and His oneness into the ear and heart of the child
became immediately apparent. However, shortly thereafter in
the adhan the child is opened up to an important reality, to
“come to prayer, come to success.”
This is a great reminder for us, because as parents when our

children are entering their high school careers we become
increasingly worried about their ACT and SAT scores. Even
though they have just started high school we already begin to
think of the best route to get them to do well on standardized
tests and which classes to take to increase their chances to get
Verse XVII 27
into a good college. After all, this early preparation will help
decide where our children will go to college, which will directly
lead to a good job and a comfortable salary. As a result, we
spend money on preparation courses and books, in hopes of
getting our children ready for these exams. The investment is
well worth the cost if the hard work and effort pays off and
our children are accepted into prestigious universities.
With this same thought in mind, let us reflect on the greatest

of teachers who reminded us of another exam that we will
have to take, one that will not merely determine admission into
a college; rather, it will determine our admission into Paradise
or Hell. This exam will take place in the form of the final
questioning, of which the first question will be about our
prayers.
Luqman u advised his son,

“Oh my dear son, establish prayer….” (31:17)
How important must this advice be if from the entire Qur’an,

Allah I has repeated the command of establishing prayer
more than thirty times? The wording is also very interesting.
Luqman u did not advise his son to merely pray the prayer;
rather, he advised him to establish the prayer. By merely
praying the prayer the act is complete. However, the benefits
of the prayer may not necessarily become apparent in our lives.
We should take the same approach to prayer with our families.
Prayer should not be a random act that we do when the time

comes in. Rather, we should establish the prayer as a part
of our lives. Thus, the day should revolve around prayer. If
we are going somewhere with or traveling with our family,
we should plan out specifically when and where we will pray,

just as we plan out activities for a vacation. Unfortunately,
the common occurrence is that families will be out enjoying
themselves until someone notices that the time for prayer is
slipping away. People will quickly and hesitantly perform wudu
(ablution) and pray in a quiet corner. The prayer here becomes
a random act that sometimes seems to get in the way of our
enjoyment. This is not the message we want to send to our
children, and this was not the message that Luqman u gave
to his son through his words.
Rather, we should send the message that prayer is not only

important, but it is the top priority in our lives. We should
take our children to the masjid (mosque), if not regularly,
occasionally to get them into the habit of visiting the house
of Allah I. The trip itself should be special. We should
encourage our children -- and do so through example -- to
change into nice clothing, perform a proper wudu, apply
a good scent, and then go early in a calm manner so as to
prepare for the prayer through the sunnah prayers and through
other individual acts of worship. Just as we would prepare
our children through rigorous practice interviews and other
activities for job interviews or marriage proposals, we should
also prepare our children for the greatest meeting of all, our
meeting with Allah I.
If families happen to pray at home, they should not make the

prayer random. Unfortunately, most prayers offered at home
are squeezed in between activities. Rather, families should
establish prayer times in the house just as they are assigned
in the masjid. At the set time for prayer at home the adhan
should be called. The person who is assigned to the adhan
should be made to feel special, understanding the honor that
comes with this position. Furthermore, when the adhan is
called we should leave whatever we are doing in the house and
Verse XVII 29
begin the preparation and assemble ourselves for prayer. As
parents we should not make the mistake to allow this to take
place while we finish those last minute important details to our
work or chores. We have to be the leaders in this process. If
our children see us not taking this seriously, they will feel this
is a phase that will pass with time.
We both remember when we were younger that we would go

to the basement of Habeeb’s apartment for prayer. The entire
neighborhood would come to pray. The entire process was
very exciting, and we looked forward to it. When the prayer
is established this way it will also promote benefit and change
in our lives.
…and establish regular prayer. Verily prayer prevents (one) from
shameful and wrong acts. (29:45)
Luqman u continues to advise his son,

“…and enjoin good and forbid evil…” (31:17)
It is very interesting that Luqman u first advised his son to

establish his prayers, and that Allah I mentions in the Qur’an
that the purpose of prayer is that it is established to remember
Allah I.
…And establish the prayer for my remembrance. (20:14)
By remembering Allah I we will be less likely to do wrong

acts. Continuing with the sequential order of the verse, after
Luqman u advised his son to establish prayer, the two acts
that follow were acts that come from the benefit of the prayer.
As prayer causes us to further our remembrance of Allah I,
we will naturally want to do good acts and bring others towards

it. And, when the prayer causes us to move away from illicit
acts, we will naturally move others away from those acts as
well. Such was the amazing nature of the advice of Luqman
u that even the order of his advice had wisdom in it.
As parents we also enjoin good and forbid evil. Even on

the most fundamental level we have always encouraged our
children to be good boys and good girls. We make sure they
greet others, they thank others and that they say “please”
and “excuse me.” Furthermore, we remind them not to hit
or whine, and we encourage them to share. Through this we
realize that we have to consistently remind our children to do
good acts and refrain from wrong. These reminders should be
done with wisdom and gentleness. There is a fine line between
reminders and nagging, and children can become very sensitive
to nagging. Thus, we should look to see how we are reminding
our children. The nature of giving reminders is that it brings
benefit, but these reminders have to be carried out in the
proper way.
So remind, for verily reminders are beneficial for the believers. (51:55)
In this process our children may also return the favor and
remind us or correct us. This is where things can become a bit
tense, and this is where our mettle will be tested. It is easy for
us to become upset with our children and mention how we are
the adults. However, the better response would be to smile and
thank our children for the reminder. Then, it would be best to
advise our children that while it may be acceptable to remind
us, that they should be careful on how they advise elders in the
community. We should explain the idea that even enjoining
good and forbidding evil have etiquettes that go along with
them, and at times it is even superior to refrain from doing so
if a greater evil will occur as a result. But in order to be able to
Verse XVII 31
preach this we have to learn this ourselves. Thus, as parents we
should turn to the scholars and wise elders of our community
and seek clarity though their knowledge and experience.
Our nature is such that we to make things better for everyone.

If something is good for us we would like to share this with
others as well. Just as when we go to a store and find a great
deal or discount we would call our friends and families to tell
them about it, we should also be willing and happy to share
in ways that we can please Allah I. Neither our children nor
we should distinguish between helping people attain a physical
gain and helping people attain a spiritual gain.
Also, it is important that our children know they can speak

out against wrong. Peer pressure is a very real and potentially
devastating variable in their lives. Many of our children will be
put in a position of making a decision that might go against
the tenets of our faith. If we can build confidence in our
children to be proud of our religion and that it is praiseworthy
to properly enjoin good and forbid from evil even in difficult
situations, this can help them in making correct decisions.
Difficulties will arise, and situations will not always be easy.
This again is an amazing part of Luqman’s u advice.
“…and be patient upon what afflicts you….” (31:17)
Striving for that which is good does not always come with ease.
In fact, following the religion can also result in tests. Allah I
mentions,
And We will most certainly test you with things from fear and hunger
and loss of wealth and lives and fruits; and give glad tidings to the
patient. (2:155)

The purpose of Allah I testing us is not to punish us. Rather,
He tests us with a specific intent.
He is the One who created death and life in order to test you, (to see)
which of you will be the best in action. (67:2)
We are tested to see how we will react and submit to what our
Creator offers us. During such times it is easy for us and our
children to both lose sight of this. The family structure has to
remind each other that our lives are for the sake of Allah I,
and even in times of difficulty we will be content with what
He gives us. And this is not easy, as Luqman u mentioned,
“…Indeed this is from the most important of commands.” (31:17)
One great way that we can help each other through tests is
even in times of ease we remind each other and share stories
of the prophets and Sahabah who underwent tests and how
Allah I was pleased with them and how He promised them
a great and abundant reward. The reality is that we can never
be completely ready for a test, but we can help equip our
children with the proper tools to be patient and content while
undergoing tests.
Finally, we should show our children that patience can come in

different forms. Our scholars have mentioned many, but three
will be specifically applicable to us. The first is being patient
during times of catastrophe, and this is the easiest to identify,
though it may not be the easiest to act upon. The second is
to be patient with sin, meaning that there will be temptations
to sin. However, we should be patient and abstain from sin,
no matter how pleasurable it may seem, in order to attain the
reward and pleasure of our Lord. Finally, we should be patient
in obedience. Sometimes being good and obedient is not an
Verse XVII 33
easy thing. Even Muslims will tease those who begin to change
and become righteous. It is not easy to act in obedience to
Allah I while others do not. However, family support and the
recognition that Allah I is pleased with us should overcome
even this difficulty.

Chapter VII
Verse XVIII
َْ َ َ َّ‫َو َل تُ َص هّع ْر َخ هَّد َك ل ه‬

‫اس َول ت ْم ِش ِف ٱلر ِض‬
ْ ِ ‫ِلن‬ ِ
ُ َ َ ْ ُ َّ‫َ َ ً هَّ َهَّ َ ُ هُّ ُ ه‬
١٨ ۢ‫ور‬
ٍ ‫ال فخ‬ٍ ‫مرحا إِن ٱل ل يِب ك مت‬
“And do not turn your cheek from mankind (in

contempt) and do not walk in the land haughtily. Verily
Allah does not love any arrogant boaster.”
Our society places a great amount of emphasis on being
unique, and being unique is a very important thing. However,
the amount of focus that goes into individuality can sometimes
have an adverse affect. When people begin to overly focus
on themselves they begin to develop a “me” syndrome, and
this was something the Prophet r disliked. On one occasion
a man came to the door of the Prophet r and sought his
permission to enter. The Prophet r asked who it was, to
which the man replied, “me.” The Prophet r became angry
and kept repeating, “me, me, me” to show his displeasure that
someone would not mention his own name when asked and
would rather assume that the one asking knows him.
In essence there is nothing haram with saying “me” at that

moment. However, the Prophet r wanted to teach people not
to think so highly of themselves that they say expect others to
know who they are, even through recognizing their voice. How
Verse XVIII 35
many times have we found ourselves saying “it’s me” when we
make a phone call and are asked who we are? Again, nothing
is wrong with it, but the idea is to humble ourselves to such an
extent that we do not think we are worthy to be known. This
ideal is something that may be very difficult to teach children,
but the general concept is to allow our children and ourselves
to understand that we are only special not because of any
inherent characteristic that we may have; rather, we are special
only if we submit to Allah I and please Him through our
submission.
Luqman u advised his son along the same lines of this theme
with two pieces of advice, beginning with,
“And do not turn your cheek from mankind (in contempt)….” (31:18)
He first tells his son not to turn his cheek away from anyone.
This particularly refers to when speaking with someone. It was
the habit of the Prophet r to speak to those who approached
him by turning his entire body and face them completely,
giving his full attention to them. The Prophet r was and is the
most important person ever to walk this Earth, and his time
was being utilized to spread the religion. However, he never
elevated himself over others. Thus, even when the poorest of
the community came to him, he still gave such attention to them
such that they felt important. Again, as parents, this comes
first through our own actions. We should give our children
the attention they desire and not only speak and listen to them
while working or doing other chores. It is hard to imagine the
Prophet r ever working on a computer or cleaning around the
house while speak to someone. Rather, we can picture him
stopping everything and giving his full attention to whoever
needed it, especially to children.

Furthermore, we should monitor how our children address
others. This can be done both inside and outside of the home.
If we see our children speaking to their siblings or friends in
a way that is not appropriate, then we should remember this
and approach them later and advise them in private. By doing
this we are able to get our message across to them, while not
embarrassing them in front of their friends. Furthermore, we
should bring them in the company of those who have good
etiquette. Etiquette is not something that is merely taught.
Rather, it is something that is experienced and subsequently
embodied.
During this process it is important to distinguish between

confidence and arrogance. We do not want our children
walking with sloped shoulders and being the victims of abuse.
However, we also do not want them to feel they are greater
than others.
“…and do not walk in the land haughtily. Verily Allah does not love
any arrogant boaster.” (31:18)
This difference between pride and confidence should be

visible in their demeanor. Luqman u further advised to walk
in a humble manner and to refrain from being arrogant. One
way to ensure that our children are remaining humble is by
encouraging them to work for and help those who are less
fortunate. By continuously being in service of others they will
be able to maintain a level of humility.
Finally, to help encourage our children with distinguishing

between confidence and arrogance, we should continuously
praise them for their actions that are praiseworthy. This should
not only be restricted to success in school or achieving a high
accolade. The smallest actions that merit praise should receive
Verse XVIII 37
them. Be sure to also follow that praise with a comment on
how Allah I is also happy with such acts. This will continue
to instill the idea that all acts are for Allah’s I pleasure, and
even the most mundane acts can earn us reward.
Unfortunately, we are often more quick to correct and

reprimand than to praise. We forget that the Prophet r would
often show his anger through his silence. This was effective
because he was always smiling and happy. When that smile
disappeared and he became silent, his companions knew he
was upset because it left the norm of his being happy and
jovial. If we are continuously praising our children for even
the smallest of deeds that they do, including picking up trash
from the ground, smiling, helping those in need, and they do
something by which we refrain from praising them, they will
inherently begin to rethink their act and evaluate why they did
not receive praise. Perhaps the first few times it will even be
prudent to mention this to them and ask why they feel they
were not praised for an act. Thereafter, they will begin to
evaluate their acts closely, seeking not only the pleasure of
their parents but the pleasure of their Lord.

Chapter VIII
Verse XIX
َّ‫َ ه‬ ْ ُ ْ َ َ ْ َ ْ ْ َ
‫ٱغضض م ِْن َص ْوت ِك إِن‬ َ ‫صد ِف م ْش َيِك و‬
َ ِ ‫وٱق‬
َ ُ ْ َ ِ ‫ص َو‬ْ ‫نك َر ٱل‬َ
١٩ ‫ري‬ِ ‫ٰت لصوت ٱل ِم‬ ‫أ‬
And be modest in your walk and lower your voice.

Verily the most hated of voices is the braying of the
donkey.”
Although it is such a small part of the body, one organ
that has continued to plague mankind with its destructive
elements is the tongue. In fact, even the greatest of our pious
predecessors, companions like Abu Bakr t and ‘Ali t, used
to sit and reprimand themselves for the use of their tongues.
Luqman u, being aware of the power of the tongue, advised
his son on the proper uses of it, highlighting a simple concept
that has become lost in our current day and age.
…and lower your voice. (31:19)
Lowering our voice and maintaining an appropriate tone is

something that was beloved to our Prophet r. In fact, when
the Sahabah began to raise their voices around the Messenger
of Allah r, the verse was revealed,
Oh you who believe, do not raise your voices over the voice of the
Prophet. (49:2)
Verse XIX 39
In fact, by speaking above the voice of the Prophet r -- which
the scholars also say still holds true in gatherings where hadith
are being mentioned -- and raising voices while speaking to
him have destructive results.
…lest your acts are rendered void and you are not aware. (49:2)
Such is the result of raising voices over the Prophet r. Think

how severe this act is if all the good deeds of whose being
addressed here, the Sahabah, will become nullified by doing
this. Some of the Sahabah actually stayed within their homes
for a period of time afraid of visiting the Prophet r, lest their
voices accidentally be raised over his. Granted, since he is not
with us today we cannot violate that command, and even in
most gatherings where ahadith are mentioned the nature of the
gathering is such that a certain level of respect and etiquette
is maintained. However, have we thought to ourselves that
although the verse specifically refers to raising voices in the
presence of the Prophet r, if raising voices in front of the
Prophet r is something that Allah I dislikes, then what should
be the manner of our speech in front of Allah I? Should
we not be even more careful in raising our voices while He
is watching and listening to us? Alhamdulillah, by the mercy
of Allah I He has not put such restrictions on our regular
speech. However, it is still important for us to observe that
verbal modesty knowing Allah I hears everything.
When we are in the presence of people of power and status

we are careful not to speak in an offensive manner or breach
proper etiquette. When we walk into a job interview in front
of a potential employer, what type of voice do we use? When
we walk around a person of authority what type of tone do
we use? It is out of respect that we keep our voices low. In
that same way, we should advise our children to have the same

type of voices in most gatherings. It is understandable that
children raise their voices around friends and when playing,
and we should also be aware that being loud and laughing
is necessary and has its place. Thus, we should not always
become upset if our children behave like children. However,
teaching appropriate use of their voice and tone in all settings
is not always easy. The best way to do this is by practicing it
ourselves. It is funny when we see parents getting upset with
their children for using an improper tone in particular settings,
only to see those same parents meeting friends and becoming
extremely loud and boisterous while reminiscing over the good
old days or the latest cricket matches. We may not notice this,
but this behavior sends mixed signals to our children.
Once we have established this basic etiquette of speaking, then

we can also go forward and mention other etiquettes and rules
of the tongue to our children. It is difficult for children to try
to tackle the larger issues of backbiting and slandering when
they have yet to control their tones. Thus, we should be careful
not to jump to the more difficult issues; rather, we should start
with that which is easier.
Finally, Luqman u begins this piece of advice with something

very interesting, and that is,
“…and be modest in your walk….” (31:19)
The advice does not begin with the tongue, rather it continues
from the previous verse about walking. The wisdom in this is
amazing. When we meet people who are humble and modest,
we see that their modesty is not merely in their speech. Rather,
it is in their entire persona. They carry themselves modestly.
Those who speak modestly, but their actions are contrary to
that modesty seem to be displaying false modesty. Thus, our
Verse XIX 41
approach in establishing modesty in the lives of our children
should not focus merely on one aspect. Rather, it should be a
holistic approach. We should teach our children to walk with
their gaze lowered and to walk humbly upon the Earth.
And the servants of the Most-Merciful are those who walk on the
Earth with humility…. (25:63)
This type of walking is most pleasing to our Lord, and this type
of walking is indicative of true humility, that humility which
appears on the limbs and tongue and originates in the heart.

Chapter IX
The Story of Luqman u
The following is what Imam Ibn Kathir t says concerning

Luqman u as taken from the abridged version of Tafsir ibn
Kathir.
The Salaf differed over the identity of Luqman; there

are two opinions: was he a prophet or just a righteous
servant of Allah without the prophethood. The
majority favored the latter view, that he was a righteous
servant of Allah without being a prophet. Sufyan Ath-
Thawri said, narrating from Al-Ash’ath, from ‘Ikrimah,
from Ibn ‘Abbas, “Luqman was an Ethiopian slave
who was a carpenter.” ‘Abdullah bin Az-Zubayr said,
“I said to Jabir bin ‘Abdullah: ‘What did you hear about
Luqman?’ He said: ‘He was short with a flat nose, and
came from Nubia.’” Yahya bin Sa’id Al-Ansari narrated
from Sa’id bin Al-Musayyib that, “Luqman was from the
black peoples of (southern) Egypt and had thick lips.”
Allah gave him wisdom but withheld prophethood from

him. Al-’Awza’i said, “‘Abdur-Rahman bin Harmalah
told me, ‘A black man came to Sa’id bin Al-Musayyib
to ask him a question, and Sa’id bin Al-Musayyib said
to him: ‘Do not be upset because you are black, for
among the best of people were three who were black:
Bilal, Mahja, the freed slave of ‘Umar bin Al-Khattab,
and Luqman the Wise, who was a black Nubian with
thick lips.’”
Ibn Jarir recorded that Khalid Ar-Raba’i said:
The Story of Luqman u 43

“Luqman was an Ethiopian slave who was a carpenter.
His master said to him, ‘Slaughter this sheep for us,’
so he slaughtered it. His master said: ‘Bring the best
two pieces from it,’ so he brought out the tongue and
the heart. Then time passed, as much as Allah willed,
and his master said: ‘Slaughter this sheep for us,’ so
he slaughtered it. His master said, ‘Bring the worst
two morsels from it,’ so he brought out the tongue and
the heart. His master said to him, ‘I told you to bring
out the best two pieces, and you brought these, then
I told you to bring out the worst two pieces, and you
brought these!’ Luqman said, ‘There is nothing better
than these if they are good, and there is nothing worse
than these if they are bad.’” Shu’bah narrated from
Al-Hakam, from Mujahid, “Luqman was a righteous
servant, but he was not a Prophet.”
The following is taken from The Stories of the Qur’an by Imam

ibn Kathir t,
Allah the Almighty says:

And verily We bestowed wisdom upon Luqman, saying, “Be grateful to
Allah. And whosoever is grateful, then verily he is grateful for himself,
and whosoever is ungrateful, then verily Allah is free of all needs, worthy
of all praise.
And when Luqman said to his son, while he was advising him, “Oh
my dear son, do not associate partners with Allah. Verily associating
partners with Allah is a great oppression.”
And We have enjoined upon mankind to be excellent towards his
parents -- His mother bore him in weakness upon weakness for two
years -- commanding, “Be grateful to Me and to your parents, and to Me
is the final return.

“And if they strive to make you associate partners with Me with
that which you have no knowledge of, then do not obey them; rather
accompany them in this world in a good manner. And follow the path
of those who turned to Me. Then to Me is your return; thus I will
inform you of what you did.”
“Oh my dear son, if there is from the weight of the grain of a mustard
seed and it was in a rock or in the heavens or in the Earth, Allah will
bring it forth. Verily Allah is Subtle, Aware.
“Oh my dear son, establish prayer and enjoin good and forbid evil and
be patient with what afflicts you. Indeed this is from the most important
of commands.
“And do not turn your cheek from mankind (in contempt) and do not
walk in the land haughtily. Verily Allah does not love any arrogant
boaster.
“And be modest in your walk and lower your voice. Verily the most
hated of voices is the braying of the donkey.” (31:12-19)
He is Luqman Ibn ‘Anqa’ Ibn Sadun. Or, as stated by

As-Suhaili from Ibn Jarir and Al-Qutaibi that he is
Luqman Ibn Tharan who was from among the people
of Aylah (Jerusalem).
He was a pious man who exerted himself in worship

and who was blessed with wisdom. Also, it is said that
he was a judge during the lifetime of Prophet Dawud
(Peace be upon him). And, Allah knows best.
Narrated Sufyan Ath- Thawri from Al-Ash’ath after

‘Ikrimah on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbas (May Allah
be pleased with him) as saying: “He was an Ethiopian
slave who worked as a carpenter.” Qatadah narrated

from’ Abdullah Ibn Az-Zubair as saying: “I asked Jabir
Ibn ‘Abdullah about Luqman. He said: ‘He was short
with a flat nose. He was from Nubia’”
Narrated Yahia Ibn Sa’ id Al-Ansari after Sa’ id Ibn

Al-Musayib his saying: “Luqman belonged to the black
men of Egypt. He had thick lips and Allah the Almighty
granted him wisdom but not Prophethood.” Al-Awza’i
said: “I was told by ‘Abdur Rahman Ibn Harmalah that
a black man came to Sa’ id Ibn Ail-Musayib asking him
for charity. Sa’ id said: ‘do not feel distressed for your
black color because there were from among the best of
all people three blackmen: Bilal Ibn Rabah, Mahja’ (the
freed-slave of ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattab), and Luqman,
the wise who was black, from Nubia and whose lips
were thick.’”
Narrated Al-A’mash after Mujahid: Luqman was a

black huge slave, thick-lipped, and crack-footed. ‘Umar
Ibn Qais said: “Luqman was a black slave, thick-lipped
and crack-footed. It happened while he was preaching
to some people, a man came to him and said: ‘Aren’t
you the one who used to look after the sheep with me
at such and such place?’ Luqman said: ‘yes, I am!’ The
man said: ‘Then, what made you of that position?’
Luqman said: ‘Telling the truth and keeping silent
regarding what does not concern me.’” (This Hadith
was narrated by Ibn Jarir after lbn Hamid after Al-
Hakam)
Ibn Abu Hatim said: “I was told by Abu Zar’ah that

he was told by Safwan after Al- Walid after ‘Abdur
Rahman Ibn Abu Yazid Ibn Jabir who said: ‘Allah the
Almighty raised Luqman’s status for his wisdom. A

man who used to know him saw him and said: Aren’t
you the slave of so and so who used to look after my
sheep not so long in the past?’ Luqman said: ‘Yes!’ The
man said: ‘What raised you to this high state I see?’
Luqman said: ‘the Divine Decree, repaying the trust,
telling the truth and discarding what does not concern
me.’”
Narrated Ibn Wahb: “I was told by ‘Abdullah Ibn

‘Ayyash Al-Fityani after’ Umar, the freed slave of
‘Afrah as saying: ‘A man came to Luqman, the wise and
asked: Are you Luqman? Are you the slave of so and
so?’ He said: ‘Yes!’ The man said: ‘You are the black
shepherd!’ Luqman said: ‘As for my black color, it is
obviously apparent, so what makes you so astonished?’
The man said: ‘You became frequently visited by the
people who pleasingly accept your judgments!’ Luqman
said: ‘O cousin! If you do what I am telling you, you
will be like this.’ The man asked: ‘What is it?’ Luqman
said: ‘Lowering my gaze, watching my tongue, eating
what is lawful, keeping my chastity, undertaking my
promises, fulfilling my commitments, being hospitable
to guests, respecting my neighbors, and discarding
what does not concern me. All these made me the one
you are looking at.’”
One day Abu Ad-Darda’ mentioned Luqman the wise

and said: “He was not granted wisdom because of
wealth, children, lineage, or given habits, but he was
self-restrained, taciturn, deep-thinking, and he never
slept during the day. In addition, no one has ever seen
him spitting, clearing his throat, squeezing the lemon,
answering the call of nature, bathing, observing
trivialities, or foolishly laughing. He was very eloquent

and well-versed. He did not weep or cry when all his
children died. Finally, he used to frequent the princes
and men of authority to mediate and think thoroughly
and find admonition. So, because of all these he was
granted that great wisdom.”
Some people claimed that he was offered Prophethood,

and that he feared not to be able to carry out its
requirements and obligations. Thus, he chose to have
wisdom for it is easier -this cannot be totally true
-and Allah knows best! ‘Ikrimah also narrated that
Luqman was a Prophet. This narration is very weak
for the sub-narrator, Al-Ja’fi is mentioned by Imams
Al-Bukhari and An-Nasa’i among the Weak Narrators.
(This narration has a weak sub-narrator in its chain, i.e.
Qaz’ah Ibn Suwaid Ibn Hujair Al-Bahili (as mentioned
in An-Nasa’i’s Weak and Rejected Narrators))
The majority of scholars are of the view that he was

a wise man and not a Prophet. Moreover, he was
mentioned in the Glorious Qur’an and was highly
praised by Allah the Almighty Who narrates his advice
to his own son in which he says: “Oh my dear son, do
not associate partners with Allah. Verily associating partners
with Allah is a great oppression,” so he forbade his son
and warned him against joining others in worship with
Allah. Imam Al-Bukhari said: “I was told by Qutaibah
after Jarir after Al-A’mash after Ibrahim after ‘Alqamah
after ‘Abdullah as saying: ‘When the Verse: It is those who
believe and do not confuse their belief with wrong (i.e. joining
others in worship with Allah (Al-An’ am, 82) was revealed,
we said: “O Allah’s Messenger! Who is there amongst us who
has not done wrong to himself?” He (Peace be upon him) replied:
“It is not as you say, for ‘wrong’ in the Verse ‘and do not confuse

their belief with wrong’ means ‘SHIRK’ (i.e. joining others in
worship with Allah). Haven’t you heard Luqman’s saying to
his son, ‘Oh my dear son, do not associate partners with Allah.
Verily associating partners with Allah is a great oppression.’”
(31: 13)
Then, Allah informs us of His advice to mankind

to take care of parents. He states their rights on the
children and orders us to be kind with them even if
they were polytheists. But one should not obey them
if they invite him to join others in worship with Allah.
Then Allah resumes Luqman’s advice to his son
saying: “Oh my dear son, if there is from the weight of the
grain of a mustard seed and it was in a rock or in the heavens or
in the Earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily Allah is Subtle,
Aware.” In other words, Luqman forbids his son to
do wrong to the people even in the slightest way, for
Allah will bring it forth and bring him to account on
the Day of Resurrection. Allah Almighty says: “Surely!
Allah wrongs not even of the weight of an atom (or a small
ant)” (An-Nisa’, 40) and, “And We shall set up balances
of justice on the Day of Resurrection, then none will be dealt
with unjustly in anything. And if there be the weight of a
mustard seed, We will bring it. And Sufficient are We to take
account” (Al-Anbiya’, 47) Luqman told his son that if
a wrong deed was equal to the weight of a grain of
mustard seed, or if it was in a solid rock, or in the
heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth for He
knows its exact place, “Verily, Allah is Subtle (in bringing
out that grain), Well-Aware (of its place)”. Allah Almighty
also says: “And with Him are the keys of the Ghaib (all that
is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever
there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows
it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything

fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record” (Al-An’am, 59)
and, “And there is nothing hidden in the heaven and the earth
but it is in a Clear Book (i.e. Al-Lauh Al-Mahfuz)” (An-
Naml, 75) and finally, “the All-Knower of the Unseen, it
will come to you; not even the weight of an atom (or a small
ant) or less than that or greater escapes His Knowledge in .the
heavens or in the earth but it is in a Clear Book (Al-Lauh Al-
Mahfuz)” (Saba’, 3).
As-Sadiy claimed that the rock mentioned in the

previous verses is that which lies beneath the seventh
earth. But this claim is totally rejected for the word
“rock” is indefinite and if his claim were true, it would
be “the rock”. So, “rock” here means any rock and not
a particular one. Then, Luqman said: “Oh my dear son,
establish prayer and enjoin good and forbid evil and be patient
upon what afflicts you. Indeed this is from the most important
of commands.” Upon telling his son to do what is good
and prevent the spread of evil, Luqman advised his
son to be patient; for if one enjoins what is good and
forbids the evil, he will probably regarded as enemy to
certain people (but the final reward would surely be
his). For this, he commanded him to observe patience.
Allah the Almighty then says: “And do not turn your cheek

from mankind (in contempt).” narrated Ibn ‘Abbas,
Mujahid, ‘Ikrimah, Sa’id Ibn Jubair, Ad-Dahhak, Yazid
Ibn Al-Asam, Abu Al-Jawza’ and others: This means
one shouldn’t be showy or arrogant.
Then Allah the Almighty says: “and do not walk in the

land haughtily. Verily Allah does not love every arrogant
boaster.” Here Luqman forbids his son to strut in his
walk. Following this Allah the Almighty says: “And

walk not on the earth with conceit and arrogance. Verily, you
can neither rend nor penetrate the earth, nor can you attain a
stature like the mountains in height”. (Al-Isra’, 37) We as
human beings will neither be able to tread the whole
earth, nor penetrate it with your fast walking or strong
footsteps, nor will we be as high as mountains with our
showing-off or arrogance. So, know yourself well, for
you are only a human being (created to worship Allah
Alone). The Prophetic Hadith states: “While a man was
walking, dragging his dress with pride, he was caused to be
swallowed by the earth and will go on sinking in it till the Day
of Resurrection.” (Transmitted by Imam Al-Bukhari in
his Sahih) Another Prophetic Hadith states that: “Beware
dragging your dress with pride, for this is boastfulness which is
not loved by Allah.” Allah the Almighty says: “Verily,
Allah likes not any arrogant boaster.”
After Luqman forbids his son to walk boastfully, he

orders him to be moderate in his walking, saying: “And
be modest in your walk.” i.e. do not walk fast or too slow,
rather take a course in-between. The Qur’an verifies
this as Allah says, “And the (faithful) slaves of the Most
Gracious (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility
and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad
words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness”. (Al-
Furqan, 63) Then, Luqman says: “and lower your voice.
Verily the most hated of voices is the braying of the donkey.” i.e.
if you talk, do not raise your voice very loudly because
the braying of the donkey is the harshest of all voices.
Narrated Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with

him): The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: “When
you hear the crowing of cocks, ask for Allah’s Blessings for
(their crowing indicates that) they have seen an angel. And when

you hear the braying of donkeys, seek Refuge with Allah from
Satan for (their braying indicates) that they have seen a Satan.”
(Transmitted by Imam Al-Bukhari in his Sahih). For
this, it is forbidden to raise one’s voice needlessly. But,
raising the voice with the Adhan (the Call to Prayer)
and in the battlefield is permitted.
These are the pieces of advice given by Luqman to his

son that are mentioned in the Glorious Qur’an. Many
others have been mentioned in a book titled Hikmat
Luqman (Luqman’s Wisdom). From this valuable book,
we cite the following: Narrated by Imam Ahmed that
Ibn ‘Umar (May Allah be pleased with both of them)
said: “We were told by Allah’s Messenger (Peace be
upon him) that: ‘Luqman, the wise used to say: If anything
was entrusted to Allah, He would preserve it.’”
Narrated Ibn Hatim that Al-Qasim Ibn Mukhaimirah

reported that Allah’s Messenger (Peace be upon him)
said: “Luqman said to his son when he was advising him:
“O my son! Beware of masking for it is treason by night and
dispraise during the day.”
Narrated Damurah after As-Sariy Ibn Yahia as

saying: “Luqman said to his son: ‘O my son! Verily, wisdom
has brought the indigent to the courts of kings.’”
I was told by my father after ‘Abdah lbn Sulaiman after

Ibn Al-Mubarak after ‘Abdur Rahman Al-Mas’ udi
after ‘Aun Ibn ‘Abdullah as saying: “Luqman said to his
son: ‘O my son! If you come to a people’s setting, start them with
salutation (Saying As-Salamu ‘Alaikum (Peace be with you)),
then, take a side and do not utter a word till they speak. If you

find them observing the Remembrance of Allah, join them. But,
if they observe anything else, turn away from them and seek
others (who remember Allah Almighty).’”
I was told by my father after ‘Amr Ibn ‘Uthman after

Damurah Ibn Hafs Ibn ‘Umar as saying: “Luqman placed
a bag of mustards beside him and started to advise his son,
giving him with every piece of advice a mustard till it all ran out.
He said: O my son! I gave you advice that if a mountain was
given, it would split. He said: then, his son was as if struck.”
Imam Ahmed, in his book Az-Zuhd (Asceticism),

mentioned Luqman’ s biography and many other
valuable things. He said: “I was told by Waki’ after
Sufyan after an unidentified man after Mujahid as saying
Allah’s Statement: ‘And indeed We bestowed upon Luqman
Al-Hikmah.’”( i.e. wisdom and religious understanding)
He added: “He was not a Prophet.” The same was
narrated by Wahb Ibn Munabih.
Waki’ told us after Sufyan after Ash’ath after ‘Ikrimah

after Ibn ‘Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) that
he said: “Luqman was an Ethiopian slave.”
Aswad told us after Hammad after ‘Ali Ibn Yazid after

Sa’id Ibn Al-Musaiyb as saying: “Luqman was a tailor.”
Saiyar told us after Ja’far after Malik Ibn Dinar as

saying: Luqman said to his son: “O my son! Take
Allah’s Obedience as your trade, and you will gain
profits without having any merchandises.”
Yazid told us after Abul Ashhab after Muhammad Ibn

Wasi’ as saying: “Luqman said to his son: ‘O my son!
Fear Allah and do not let the people notice that you
fear Him to gain honor (from them) while your heart
is sinful.’”
Yazid Ibn Hamn and Waki’ told us after Abul AShhab

after Khalid Ar-Rab’i as saying: “Luqman was an
Ethiopian slave who worked as a carpenter. One day,
his master ordered him to slaughter a goat and bring
him the most pleasant and delicious two parts thereof.
Luqman did so and brought him the tongue and heart.
The master asked: Did not you find anything more
pleasant than these? Luqman said: ‘No!’ After a while,
the master ordered him to slaughter a goat and to
throw the most malignant two parts thereof. Luqman
slaughtered the goat and threw the tongue and heart.
The master exclaimed and said: ‘I ordered you to
bring me the most delicious parts thereof and you
brought me the tongue and heart, and I ordered you to
throwaway the most malignant parts thereof and you
threw the tongue and heart, how can this be?’ Luqman
said: ‘Nothing can be more pleasing than these if they
were good, and nothing can be more malicious than
these if they were malignant.’”
Dawud Ibn Rashid told us after Ibn Al-Mubarak after

Mu’amir after Abu ‘Uthman, a man from Basrah, as
saying: Luqman said to his son: “Oh my son! Do not
wish for befriending a fool that he may think you
approve his foolishness. And, do not take the wise
man’s rage easily that he may abstain from you.”
Dawud Ibn Usaid told us after Isma’il Ibn ‘Ayyash

after Damdam Ibn Zar’ah after Shuraih Ibn ‘Ubaid Al-

Hadrami after ‘Abdullah Ibn Zaid as saying: Luqman
said: “Verily, Allah’s Hand is on the mouths of wise
men; none of them speaks but with what Allah
assigned for him.”
‘Abdur Razzaq told us that he heard Ibn Juraij as

saying: “I used to mask my head at night and ‘Umar
said to me: ‘Did not you hear that Luqman had said:
masking during the day is humiliation and at night is
dispraise. So, why do you mask yourself at night?’” He
said: “Luqman was not indebted.”
I was told by Hasan after Al-Junaid after Sufyan as

saying: Luqman said to his son: “Oh my son! I have
never regretted because of keeping silent. If words are
silver, silence is golden.”
I was told by ‘Abdul Samad and Waki’ after Abul

Ashhab after Qatadah as saying: “Luqman said to his
son: ‘Oh my son! Set apart with evil and it will set apart
with you, for evil begets nothing but evil.’”
Narrated Imam Ahmed: I was told by ‘Abdur Rahman

Ibn Mahdi after Nafi’ Ibn ‘Umar after Ibn Abu Malikah
after ‘Ubaid Ibn ‘Umair as saying: Luqman said to his
son when he was advising him: “Oh my son! Choose between
gatherings (of people) precisely! If you find a gathering in which
Allah is mentioned, sit yourself with them. Thus, if you are
knowledgeable, your knowledge will benefit you; but, if you are
ignorant, they will teach you; and if Allah wishes to do them
good, you will be benefited therewith. Oh my son! Do not sit in
a gathering in which Allah is not mentioned! Because if you are
knowledgeable, your knowledge will not benefit you; and if you

are ignorant, they will add to your ignorance; and if Allah wishes
to afflict them with harm, you will be afflicted with them. Oh my
son! Do not rejoice at seeing a strong man who sheds the blood
of the faithful, for Allah appoints for him a killer that does not
ever die.”
Abu Mu’awiyah told us after Hisham Ibn ‘Urwah after

his father as saying: “O my son: Let your speech be
good and your face be smiling, you will be more loved
by the people than those who give them provisions.”
And, he said: “It is stated in the wisdom -- or the
Torah: “Kindness is the head of wisdom.” And, he
said: “It is stated in the Torah: ‘As you show mercy (to
others), mercy will be shown to you.’ And, he said: ‘It
is stated in the wisdom: You will gain what you give (or,
harvest what you grow).’ And, he said: ‘It is stated in
the wisdom: Love your friend and the friend of your
father.’”
‘Abdur Razzaq told us after Mu’amir after Ayyub after

Abu Qulabah as saying: “Luqman was once asked:
‘Who is the best one in terms of patience?’ He said:
‘It is the one who practices no harm after observing
patience.’ Those who asked him said: ‘Who is the best
one in terms of knowledge?’ He said: ‘It is he who
adds to his own knowledge through the knowledge of
others.’ They asked: ‘Who is the best from among the
whole people?’ He said: ‘It is the wealthy.’ They said: ‘Is
it the one who has properties and riches?’ He said: ‘No!
But, it is the one if whose good was sought, he would
not hold it back or prevent it. And, it is the one who
does not need anything from others.’”
Narrated Sufyan Ibn ‘Uyaynah: Luqman was asked:

“Who is the worst of all people?” He replied: “It is
the one who does not feel shame if found committing
a sinful deed.”
Abu As-Samad told us after Malik Ibn Dianr as saying:

I found some pieces of-wisdom as follows: “Allah
Almighty scatters and wastes the bones of those who
give religious opinions that go with the people’s lusts
and desires.” And, “There is no good for you that you
learn something new while you do not practice what
you have learnt previously. This is like a man who
gathered a pile of dry wood, then tried to carry it but
couldn’t. Thereupon, he collected a second one.”
‘Abdullah Ibn Ahmed said: I was told by Al-Hakam

Ibn Abu Zuhair Ibn Musa after Al-Faraj Ibn Fudalah
after Abu Sa’id as saying: “Luqman said to his son: ‘O
my son! Let only the pious men eat your food, and
consult the scholars over your affairs.’ These were what
Imam Ahmed quoted from the wisdom of Luqman,
and I added some that he did not transmit and indeed,
he, Imam Ahmed, quoted things that I did not. And,
Allah knows best!”
Ibn Abu Hatim said: “I was told by my father after

Al-’Abbas Ibn Al-Walid after Zaid Ibn Yahya Ibn
‘Ubaid Al-Khuza’i after Sa’id Ibn Bashir after Qatadah
as saying: ‘Allah Almighty enabled Luqman to choose
between Prophethood and wisdom and he (Luqman)
preferred wisdom to Prophethood. Then, Gabriel
came while he was asleep and poured the wisdom over
him. And, he began to pronounce it the next morning.’”

Sa’id said: “I heard Qatadah as saying: ‘It was said to
Luqman: How did you prefer wisdom to Prophethood
when you were enabled to choose between them? He
said: If Allah were to assign me with Prophethood, I
would accept it and try hard to win His Pleasure, but
He enabled me to choose. I feared of being too weak
for Prophethood, so I chose wisdom.’”
This narration is not perfectly authentic or sound for

that sub-narrator, Sa’ id Ibn Bashir, is not a trustworthy
one. However, many from among our earlier scholars,
foremost among whom were: Mujahid, Sa’id Ibn Al-
Musayyb and Ibn ‘Abbas (May Allah be pleased with
him) were of the viewpoint that Allah’s Statement that
reads: “And indeed We bestowed upon Luqman Al-Hikmah
(wisdom)”, means discretion and religious understanding.
Thereupon, he was not a Prophet and nothing has been
revealed to him through Al- Wahi (Divine Inspiration)

Afterword
Our Advice
…and help one another in goodness and piety, and

do not help one another in sin and aggression; and be
careful of (your duty to) Allah… (5:2)
This book was not a scholarly analysis of the verses highlighting
the advice given by Luqman u to his son. Rather, it was an
effort to highlight practical ways to implement the wisdom
imparted from a loving father to his son. In that same light,
although our words can never begin to equate that of the wise
sages who have preceded us, we wanted to take this opportunity
to advise our children.
It may be long after we pass away or it may be during our lives

that you come across this text. Know that every parent wishes
to see their children outdo them. This religion was established
on efforts of those who competed with one another and strove
to outdo one another for the pleasure of Allah I. With that,
your fathers do not claim to be great men, but Allah I has
given us tawfiq to put forth very little in the way of the this
great deen.
Thus, we ask that you take the example of ‘Umar bin al-Khattab
t, when he came upon some wealth during preparation for the
battle of Tabuk. Rather than using that wealth for frivolous
gain, he thought to himself that he will outdo Abu Bakr t
in their competition to please Allah I. He equally divided
his wealth into two portions: half for his family and half for
the sake of Allah I. When he arrived to the Prophet r he
Our Advice 59
informed the Messenger of Allah I that he brought half of
his wealth for the deen. Only then did he see Abu Bakr t
approaching with his wealth. Upon arriving to the Messenger
of Allah I, Abu Bakr t was asked what he left behind for
his family, to which he responded that he left behind Allah I
and His Messenger r. So, Nusaybah, Rayaan, Luqman, Zayd,
Uthman, and any others whom Allah I may bless us with in
the future, compete for the sake and pleasure of Allah I, and
even if you lose in this competition, you will truly have won.
And remember, in the spirit of Luqman u the Wise, oh our

dear children, be grateful to Allah I, do not associate partners
with him, be kind and dutiful to your mothers, know that
Allah I is aware and capable of everything. Remain humble
and never be haughty, and be modest in action and in speech.
Through this we hope that you find Allah I, and whoever has
found Allah I has indeed found everything.

About the Authors About the Authors
Habeeb Quadri is the Principal of the MCC Full-Time School

in Morton Grove, IL. He has a Bachelor in Teaching of History
and a Masters in School Administration. He currently is taking
a few courses a year at the Harvard University Graduate School
of Education – Principal Center, where he has accumulated more
than 250 clock hours of instruction and works as part-time
staff in their professional development programs. In addition
to his teaching and administrative experience in public and
private schools, Habeeb has delivered hundreds of lectures
throughout the United States, Canada and abroad on Islam,
society, and social problems confronting Muslim youth and
the community at large for the last fifteen years. Additionally,
Habeeb maintains an active interest in education consulting. He
has started his own educational consulting company called High
Quality Educational Consulting. Mr. Quadri has conducted
workshops for weekend and full-time Islamic schools, public
schools and universities around the world. His company had
partnered up with IQRA Foundation to write and initiate the
first Islamic Standardize Islamic Studies Test partnering up
with Riverside Publishing the makers of the famous national
IOWA TEST. Habeeb was also a member of the DePaul
University, College of Education Dean Advisory Board for
the last three years and is currently on the National Advisory
Board for MYNA (Muslim Youth of North America) and for
CISNA (Council of Islamic Schools of North America). He
has currently co-authored a few books entitled the War within
Our Hearts: Struggles of the Muslim Youth, Thank God It’s Jumuah,
Parenting… Who Said it Was Easy?, Wisdom from the Wise: Advice
of Luqman u and was the religious and cultural consultant
About the Authors 61

for the children book “Under the Ramadan Moon by Sylvia
Whitman. Habeeb also has two other books projects in the
works regarding A Guidebook for Islamic School and their
Best Practices and Marriage for young couples.
Sa’ad Quadri is an English teacher at the Islamic Foundation

School. He completed his Bachelor’s degree in English and
History at Northern Illinois University and is pursuing his
Master’s degree in Education at DePaul University. Sa’ad
completed high school a year early in order to pursue studies in
the Islamic sciences at the Institute of Islamic Education. He
is currently continuing his studies in the Sacred Learning
Individual Study Program. Sa’ad also works for High Quality
Educational Consulting (HQEC), with which he has co-
authored The War within Our Hearts: Struggles of the Muslim Youth,
Parenting...Who Said it Was Easy?, and Wisdom from the Wise:
Advice of Luqman u.

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Published and printed by Cedar Graphics, Inc.

ISBN 1-930279-08-6, ISBN 978-1-930279-08-7

Cedar Graphics, Inc.

Habeeb Quadri & Sa’ad Quadri

HIGH QUALITY EDUCATION CONSULTING

Oh Allah I, how great and majestic You are. We will never be

Our greatest example and the greatest example to all of

We would like to take this moment to thank those who have

To Maulana Abulfattah Muniruzzaman, my teacher,

To Dr. Shaykh Husain Abdul Sattar, my teacher and guide,

And to all of my teachers of the sacred sciences, those from

ii Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

Alhamdulillah (all praise is to Allah), through my travels we have

However, if we look at our Islamic tradition we see the father

Communicating to children is an art that has been displayed and

Why Luqman u? iii

Finally, this is not meant to be a scholarly analysis of the verses.

iv Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

To start, I wanted to merely put forth some statistics taken

Incarceration Rates: Young men who grow up in homes

Suicide: 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

Behavioral Disorders: 85% of all children that exhibit

Educational Attainment: Kids living in single-parent homes

Juvenile Detention Rates: 70% of juveniles in state-operated

Confused Identities: Boys who grow up in father-absent

Aggression: In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade

Achievement: Children from low-income, two-parent families

vi Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

Delinquency: Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come

Criminal Activity: The likelihood that a young male will engage in

A Statistical Analysis vii

And verily We bestowed wisdom upon Luqman, saying,

Allah I further states in Surah Luqman,

These verses demonstrate the fact that as individuals not only

The first lesson Allah I gives us in these verses comes before

This is highlighted beautifully in the life of the Prophet r. His

2 Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

This has to begin at a young age, especially when our children

A great habit to implement on a regular basis, be it everyday

Furthermore, we should let our children see how some of the

Some parents might say it is tough to take the entire family

4 Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

Gratitude extends beyond giving thanks for merely physical

I have noticed that many of us, when it comes to materialistic

6 Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

We as parents need to understand that our relationship with our

Luqman u intends to address his son with important advice,

8 Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

In this verse Luqman u continues to advise his son by telling

This lesson is essential. Let us go back and remember to the

As parents it is vital that we establish the love of Allah I in

When we eat food we should remind our children to start by

10 Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u

Everyday in prayer we ask Allah I for guidance.

In the very next surah (chapter) of the Qur’an, Allah I begins

This level of having being consciousness and aware of Allah

12 Wisdom from the Wise: Advice of Luqman u