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Running Head: A Personal Reflection Into Teaching 1

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Running Head: A Personal Reflection into Teaching 1

A Personal Reflection into Teaching

Alicia D. Ingram

University of Northern Colorado


A PERSONAL REFLECTION INTO TEACHING 2

Introduction

As a teacher, it can be difficult to find time to reflect on our teaching practices. We spend

so much of our day worrying about our students and what is best for them. So, we rarely have

time carved out to sit down and look back at how we are doing. Connelly and Clandinin (1988)

explained, “The process of coming to know ourselves as practicing teachers is difficult…

teaching provides little opportunity for reflections” (p.33). We can’t better ourselves as teachers,

unless we are able to reflect on our teaching practices and our “why” behind our pursuit to

educate.

Various tools have been developed to help teachers “think back” and understand who

they are (Connelly & Clandinin, 1988, p. 33). I choose three tools to use when working alone:

autobiography, picturing, and journal keeping. On the other hand, storytelling, letter writing, and

interviewing were the reflection tools agreed upon when working with my partner. Through this

process, I was able to learn more about my insecurities and strengths as a teacher. Overall, I

noticed two common themes during my personal reflection process. Student engagement and

pacing were ideas I spoke about often. While engaging in the reflection process with others, I

found out that other teachers struggle with the same insecurities as myself, when it came to

student engagement and pacing. In addition, our discussions over student behavior and our core

beliefs surrounding curriculum were common conversations had between partner and myself.

Self-Reflection

Student engagement is a topic I am constantly questioning within my own classroom. I

am finding myself wondering how to build a curriculum that students will want to

enthusiastically devote their time and energy into, to enhance their own learning. While
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journaling, I was consistently writing about my curiosity of whether my students enjoyed our

daily lessons or if they were forced to partake in them. I wrote:

“Today, we started a new unit, Westward Expansion. I am excited for this one, because

the last unit felt like it was never ending and dragged on. I struggle sometimes finding ways to

make some of the “boring” units enjoyable or exciting. I understand the importance of making

content relevant and I do this, but when teaching some of the drier content is can be tedious and

never ending. I wonder sometimes if I am being a good teacher? Am I not working hard enough

to make every lesson an “aw-ha” moment for all my students? Should I try harder?

It can be challenging finding ways to turn dry content into glowing, enjoyable learning.

When conversating with a coworker on this subject, he responded, “Not everything is going to be

a hands-on activity, sometimes you just have to get through the content.” This response

discouraged me and had me thinking even more about how to make content engaging for

students.

As teachers, we are taught that engagement in the classroom correlates with student

interests, passions, and strengths. Teachers value, “projects that appear interesting, activities that

seem heuristic, and events that will be attractive and engaging” (Eisner, p. 139) However, how

do we connect all content taught to these concepts? John Dewey explained, “Interests are the

signs and symptoms of growing power…they represent dawning capacities.” (Flinders &

Thornton, 2017, p.38). So, if student interests are as important as they are made out to be by

Dewey and other scholars, then why aren’t we using this as the driving force in curriculum

development? When designing lessons, the standards always seem to come first, followed by

students, but shouldn’t this be done vice versa?


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In addition, pacing was another theme that came out of my reflections. While journaling

and writing my autobiography, I realized that pacing is a concept that I have been struggling with

since I began teaching. I have never been ahead in content, but always fighting to play catch on a

regular basis to get everything covered by the end of the school year. I have had to really look

back to why pacing has been such an issue for me in the past and currently.

One thing came to mind. I seem to be giving my students more and more in-class time to

finish assignments. This way it gives me the opportunity to answer questions, support my 504

and IEP students, and provide in the moment feedback. Most educators would agree, we strive

to, “want children to be supportive and cooperative with their peers and with adults, we want

them to take initiative, to be creative, curious, and imaginative” (Eisner, p.127). This type of

environment requires teachers to support student learning in a way that is not focused on a strict

timeframe. Rushing students through units to keep up with what is required within the year’s

curriculum guide is not giving worth to the lessons being taught in the moment. I want my

students to find value in the work we accomplish in class.

When I realized that pacing was a theme that continued to come up during my personal

reflections, I started pondering on how I could make changes in my teaching practices, so pacing

was not a concern. During the picturing process, I recorded how I envisioned a classroom to look

where pacing wasn’t an issue

“Pacing makes me think of a structured and organized classroom. I envision students working

from the moment they arrive to class to the moment the bell rings. There is little time wasted

during class. I see a confident, organized teacher in the classroom, who steps into their room

every morning, knowing exactly what the lesson entails that day. The teacher is well-prepared:
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papers are printed and ready to be handed out, agenda is written on the board for students’

arrival, teacher notes are neatly prepared for class discussion. There is a calm to the room.”

I realized that some of the words I used in the picturing process were things I personally

did not think I was living up to in my own classroom. Words such as, “confident, organized,

calm, well-prepared” are a few that I find myself struggling with. However, I am organized. I am

well-prepared. I am just not totally confident with how I execute my curriculum daily. I feel as

though the confidence piece is where the change needs to be made first, so all other parts fall into

place.

Reflection with Others

I collaborated with Emmalee for this portion of our reflection process. I enjoyed working

with Emmalee to gain better insight into how other teachers feel about curriculum, their day-to-

day routines, and dealing with behavior.

While engaging in regular conversations with Emmalee, I realized that I was not alone

when it came to feeling a bit insecure about ideas surrounding student engagement and pacing in

the classroom. While interviewing Emmalee, I asked, “What is one thing you would like to

improve on when it comes to your curriculum?” Emmalee responded, “My timing definitely

needs work. I tend to get stuck on something or let the kids ask way too many questions which

gets us way off schedule.” I continued by asking, “Do you ever struggle with finding ways to get

students excited/engaged in a lesson?” Emmalee stated, “All the time!”

In addition, during letter writing, we discussed how unforeseen events also plays a role in

falling behind in pacing. For instance, recent weather inclinations have caused school

cancellations and delays in both our school districts. It is hard keeping students focused, along
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with getting through the scheduled content in time with unexpected events occurring. When

students are taken out of their daily routines, we can see an increase in negative behavior

occurring in the classroom. Something we both see in our own classrooms.

Emmalee and I spent some time discussing how we view curriculum in our conversations

as well. We talked about what type of lessons we use most often in class and which ones we

would like to experiment with more? Emmalee mentioned that she would like to try more

“Dewey inspired” practices in the classroom, stating, “Anything where I am not standing at the

front teaching is interesting to me. Any of Dewey’s thoughts, like project-based learning,

intrigues me. I do not feel super confident in that yet and am still working on how I can do that

within multiple content areas.” On the other hand, I expressed my frustration when recently

attempting to engage my students in a “reverse-style” classroom. I wrote to Emmalee, “I tried a

“reverse classroom,” in hopes that students could engage in more independent learning...it did

not go according to plan. I thought it was a nice change from us doing guided notes together all

the time. However, I realized that my students need more structured and teacher direction.”

These specific conversations reassured me that I was not the only individual struggling

with these concepts in the classroom. As teachers, we are all struggling to find ways to keep

lessons moving in a timely fashion and looking for ways to get our students actively engaged in

our lessons. The insecurities I thought I was harboring inside alone are actually the same feelings

other teachers seem to have as well.

Emmalee asked me a question during our interview, “Do you ever feel like you aren’t

doing enough as a teacher?” I found this question to sum up exactly how I have been feeling

since I started teaching. Am I doing enough? From my personal autobiography, I found that in

the beginning of my teaching practices, I was doing too much. I was stretched so thinly; I was
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not able to be the best teacher I wanted to be. Now, I am under less stress than ever before.

However, I still find myself not able to keep up with the day-to-day routine of a teacher’s life.

There is always so much to do as a teacher: lesson planning, grading, dealing with classroom

behaviors, providing in the moment feedback to students during lessons, the list goes on.

Synthesis of Reflections

Reflecting with peers and myself has given me the opportunity to see how I respond to

curriculum in my own classroom. By using this reflection process, “it is possible to reconstruct

[and] to rebuild a narrative that remakes the taken-for-granted, habitual ways we all have of

responding to our curriculum situations (Connelly & Clandinin, 1988, p. 81). The meaning of

curriculum has changed for me as a result of this inquiry.

First, I realized that as a teacher, it can be hard trying to figure out what exactly we

should teach our students. Through my personal reflections and reflecting with Emmalee, taking

a leap into the unknown, when it comes to curriculum development, is hard to do. We all want to

try new learning theories out in our classrooms, but we do not know where to start or we are

scared of failing. Curriculum planning is so open-ended.

Even though we base our lessons off the standards handed to us, we have a large control

over the curriculum we teach in our classrooms. Teachers have, “a range of options that they can

exercise in the selection, emphasis, and timing of curricular events” (Eisner, p.127). This in

itself, can be overwhelming for an educator. Sometimes having too much freedom, especially in

curriculum planning can be challenging in figuring out which direction to take when constructing

units and the lessons. Even though teachers tend to follow curriculum guides, “there are still
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options to be considered and choices to be made by teachers with respect to how those materials

will be used and the ways to which what is done in one particular area of study” (Eisner, p.127).

Secondly, I realized that I am very insecure as a teacher and need to work on being more

confident in my teaching practices. Through the reflection process with others, it was comforting

to know that a lot of teachers struggle with insecurities related to the teaching profession. They

may be for different reasons, but teachers are equally grappling with the idea of “Are we doing

enough as educators?”

One time when leaning on a colleague for support, they said to me, “if you ever walk

through the halls one day and look into other classrooms, you will see a lot more teachers at their

desks than moving around engaged with the students. You are not one of these teachers Alicia,

who just sits at their desk. You’re a good teacher.” If I was more confident in myself as an

educator, it would benefit my students just as much. Starting now, I want to move forward in my

teaching practices and do the following. First, not care so much about pacing. So, what if I get

behind a week or two in a unit. I will embrace it. I will remember that my students come first and

if they need more time to grasp a concept then, as their teacher, I am going to give them that

extra time, and I will be okay with that decision. Secondly, I need to remember that every lesson

taught won’t be everyone’s favorite lesson. However, I will embrace this. I will find new ways to

try it differently the next go around. I will ask for my student feedback on why they enjoyed it or

didn’t. I will not be scared to look for alternative ways to bring learning a new meaning to my

students.
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References

Connelly, F. M., & Clandinin, D. J. (1988). Teachers as Curriculum Planners: Narratives

of Experience. Toronto: OISE Press.

Dewey, John (2017). My Pedagogic Creed: Article Four: The Nature of Method. In
David J. Flinders & Stephen J. Thornton, The Curriculum Studies Reader (5th ed., p. 33-40). New
York, NY: Routledge.
Eisner, E. W. (n.d.). The Educational Imagination: On the Design and Evaluation of
School Programms.

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